Matt Zimmer's Journal

Also reviews for the latest episodes of Batman: The Brave And The Bold, Heroes, TMNT: Back to the Sewer, The Simpsons, and King of the Hill.

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Also reviews of American Dad and the latest two episodes of Reaper. Also a review for the miniseries "Stephen King's The Stand"

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Style is right. The time for speculation and theories is over. In three days we will have most if not all of our questions answered. Stephen King recently wrote a column in Entertainment Weekly saying that after all of this build-up fans are bound to be let down by the ending. I disagree. King says this because of the lukewarm reception the final book of The Dark Tower received after decades of waiting. First of all, Stephen, the last Dark Tower book WAS awesome even if fans weren't ready to receive a tragic, yet hopeful, ambiguous ending. Outside of the death of Randall Flagg who was completely robbed of a final showdown with Roland I have nothing for praise about the book.

But he DOES have a point. Fans are expecting this grand battle at either Hogwarts or the Department of Mysteries with every character involved in a major way. I am not.

Do I think it could happen? Possibly and it would be great if it did. But whenever a franchise ends I leave my expectations up to how satisfying the last episode on the whole was. If we don't get a grand quest for Horcruxes out of Terry Brooks I won't be disappointed.

What do I expect? In order for the last book to satisfy me there are certain things that HAVE to take place no matter what. Some of these things I am confident about. Some I am not.

First thing that has to happen (and I cannot stress how important this is) is Severus Snape needs to turn out to be on the side of good. If he is not I can safely say in no uncertain terms whatsoever that J.K. Rowling is a hack writer more interested in telling a story that couldn't POSSIBLY be true than one that makes a lick of sense. On this I will not budge.

Second, I need to know HOW the heck this story which seems to hitch on generations of inherited hatred can POSSIBLY be considered a story about choices as Rowling has claimed when it is so hugely contingent on prophecies and whether or not someone is sorted into an "evil" house upon entering Hogwarts. Slytherin is a despicable concept if the ONLY good member of the House was introduced in the second to last book and is still highly flawed. If the Sorting Hat says you are in Gryffindor you are good and if you are in Slytherin you are bad that's a crummy message. The book needs to have characters make tough and RIGHT choices by the end of it even if it isn't by Harry.

Third is not NECESSARY but it sure is expected: I want the book to have more jaw-dropping twists in it that the first six books put together. I want to see clues I missed (and even clues I didn't *cough cough R.A.B cough*) tied together in a fashion that when I reread Half-Blood Prince I will think it is brilliant instead of the mediocre vibe I got after finishing it. I want the last book to make all of the books (ESPECIALLY disappointments like Order of the Phoenix and HBP) to seem brilliant upon rereading.

If she does all three of these things I will love the book no matter if the last battle is epic or not.

Also reviews for the latest episode of Veronica Mars, The Stephen King novel Salem's Lot and the Smallville episode "Fallout".

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Reviews for the DTV movie The Invincible Iron Man, Six episodes of the Wubbulous World of Dr. Seuss, Dr. Seuss' Butter Battle Book, Horton Hatches the Egg and Daisy Head Mayzie cartoons, the Stephen King novel Eyes of the Dragon, and Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #676.

Two quick things before I begin. The Iron Man movie is a complete turd. If this painfully "adult oriented" storytelling is what we can expect for the upcoming DC Comics DTVs than I am looking even less forward to them.

Two: Butter Battle Book is AWESOME. Ralph Bakshi directed and produced it and got together most of the big names from his staff at Mighty Mouse: The New Adventures including Tom Minton, Jim Reardon and Kent Butterworth. Mighty Mouse: TNA needs a DVD release NOW. It's top of the list of things that I want released on DVD, even ahead of The Zeta Project.

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