"Scream 7" Review (Spoilers)
Jun. 2nd, 2026 04:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matt_zimmerAlso reviews for the latest episodes of Batwheels, and the novels Bunnicula: A Rabbit-Tale Of Mystery, Howliday Inn, The Celery Stalks At Midnight, Nighty-Nightmare, Return To Howliday Inn, Bunnicula Strikes Again!, and Bunnicula Meet Edgar Allan Crow.
Scream 7
Never trust critics in 2026. Especially those giving reviews to sequels. Their motives are always suspect.
Is this much maligned movie actually any good? I won't say that. I will say the review-bombing and shit it's gotten is pretty fucking transparent. It's not a great movie, but almost none of the Scream films actually are. And this is not outside of that at all.
The thing about Scream movies, and their actual weakness is the fact that so many main cast members survive. Especially ones you like. That should be good, right?
I don't think so. Instead of making the movie entertaining, you're worried about them until the movie is over. Say what you will about other slasher franchises. Them always having entirely new casts is actually a plus when it comes to shutting off your brain and allowing yourself to be scared instead of appalled. Every time a sequel is announced I am never excited. I sigh in resignation. This is supposed to be the FUN horror franchise and the personal connections to the characters means it's actually the one horror franchise I don't remotely enjoy at all.
I expected going in that I would inevitably have to do a long essay on how damaging the concept of the Stab movies were. Luckily for me (and for you if you find my reviews insufferable) this movie really did not deal with them. They are mentioned, but not an actual throughline. The next Scream movie that leans into them, you'll get an earful.
I will say the Stu Macher horror house IS why the Stab movies are bad. In real life something like that would not be permitted to exist. The fact that people in this specific franchise get off on horror movies is bad enough. It asks us to pretend it exists in a Universe where this is permitted to routinely continue. In real life the Stab movies would have been BANNED, free speech or not, probably under bipartisan consensus, and it would literally be a crime to own a Ghostface mask, free speech be damned. Trust me, America makes exceptions for free speech and expression ALL THE TIME. The obsessions with the Stab movie and the Woodsboro murders, which trigger mass murder after mass murder are something nobody would put up with, much less think was awesome.
The worst part of the Stab movies is the killers get their sought-after fame and notoriety. In the past few years, when it comes to mass shootings and killing sprees, we've grown accustomed to refusing to say the names of the killers and giving them the attention they crave. We'll name the victims, but as a rule, the killers go nameless. And it bothers me in the Scream Universe nobody ever bothers to do that.
Yes, in Our Universe, people have unhealthy obsessions with true crime podcasts. But regardless of what this movie suggests, that's actually a LOT different than what is happening here.
I guess I did my essay about the Stab movies after all.
I love that Gale did not hold back in the interview, not just because it was in character, but because these are important questions Sidney needed to actually consider and answer. And the end of Sid telling her that she IS a friend she trusts is correct, although it's probably something she should have realized long before now.
The Scream movies always bloody up the main cast more than anyone could survive in real life, only to reveal they walked away at the end. Dewey's endings were famous for that. I was annoyed Chad and Mindy were stabbed, but the fact that their bodies dropped and were never gotten back to is the clearest evidence they survived.
Mark actually surviving is that on steroids. There is no way he should have. Do you know what I think? I think he survived for the sole reason that if he or Tatum had died it would have been a huge middle finger to both Sidney AND Neve Campbell, so he survived for her sake. If that's so, I'm thinking they probably shouldn't have done the garage scene to begin with.
The newbies are ALWAYS warned to immediately shoot them in the head and they never do. I actually understand why the girl ran up the stairs this time (literally nowhere else to go). But taking their eyes off Ghostface for a split second before a bullet can be put in their head is something that is super frustrating and super consistent throughout all the movies.
It's noted the reason it's not really Stu is that would have been ridiculous.
How is the actual mystery though? The thing about Scream is that the fact that the killer can be anyone is sometimes a good thing. Scream 4 totally got us by making it the so-called protagonist. But like here, it means they don't actually have to put in real legwork for an actual mystery. The neighbor and the asylum guy? Really? Gail noted the killers always have a personal connection to Sid and the related victims. This is the least personal connection we have ever been given.
It's an average Scream movie getting a ton of shit for doing well at the box-office. It's Scream, so there IS actually a ton wrong with it. But there is nothing wrong with it that isn't actually also wrong with the first six movies. Never trust a critic in 2026. ***.
Batwheels "Presto Change-o"
Zatanna doesn't do any backwards talking, which is tough to pull off in animation anyways.
I crossly remember the Pilot of this show made concrete reasons why the Batwheels and the Legion of Zoom could speak and be sentient, and this show is constantly introducing new hero and villain cars who can magically do the same thing, but were never given the proper circuit-boards for that. It's a preschool show, so it's forgivable. I'm a nitpicker, so it's also annoying. ***.
Batwheels "Caped Crusader Caper"
I was resisting this. I was like, "No there is a difference between fun-stupid and stupid-stupid." Then the Bat-Bot starts saying the iconic phrases from Bat-Media over the decades. The second Ethan Hawke says "Tell your friends about me," I'm like, "I'll allow it."
The ending with the Bat-Bot maid however is freaking DUMB. You think Batman will be okay with that MOE? Idiot. ***.
Batwheels "Aqua-Wheels"
The voices on this show surprise me. Ethan Hawke is Batman, and I've seen Ethan Bertrand in other stuff, but other than that, the show mostly uses unknowns for everybody else. So, it was really cool hearing John DiMaggio as Aquaman. He is very much like Kevin Conroy as Batman. He will never be the most famous person in the role. But he is the best in the role and voiced the best iteration. His voice is different and less "Outrageous" than on Batman: The Brave And The Bold. But casting DiMaggio in the first place is pushing the right fannish button.
Wayne Knight is also a perfect King Tut. While we're talking about good casting. Hell, I think he would be great for the role in live-action too.
Outrageous! ****.
Batwheels "You Talkin' To Me?"
Not much in the episode to recommend. Diedrich Bader is BEYOND an interesting choice as Croc, but let me be clear: The character shouldn't be on the show. If you can't call a character by their name (in this case Killer Croc) for kiddie TV reasons, don't use the character. Slade from Teen Titans is the exception to prove this rule. But otherwise, just don't. Making Croc this funny cartoon animal also feels wrong too.
And the show not only keeps playing it fast and loose with Batman knowing the vehicles are sentient. But it constantly forgets the supposed reasons WHY this is supposed to be a secret. I'm guessing because the reasons were always bullshit. But see, it's because they're bullshit which is why they need to be strict, not loose. You'd have more wiggle-room if that shit made sense. But it was done entirely for bullshit story reasons and they do NOT have the wiggle-room they are claiming in this episode.
Not feeling it. **1/2.
Batwheels "The Butler Did It"
Alfred Molina as Alfred is not an ideal casting choice for the same reason Ethan Hawke as Batman isn't. You wish the actor was actually given a choice to either voice or play a legit version of the character, instead of a preschool one. It's an interesting choice, but like I said, not ideal.
The words "Father" are not explicitly used, but of course, that's what Alfred actually is to MOE.
The worst part about the DC Animated Universe's Condiment King being brought into the DC Universe proper is that Batman now has to treat him seriously. No matter the project, that is a narrative failing. He was a funny one-off joke on Batman: The Animated Series. DC should not have decided to make him A Thing in real canon.
I liked some stuff, disliked some other stuff. A mixed bag. **1/2.
Bunnicula: A Rabbit-Tale Of Mystery by Deborah and James Howe
This was one of my favorite books as a little kid and I see the appeal. The critic is me sees the flaws now (dogs can't eat chocolate!) but the book is charming as hell, and sort of wins the reader over with the Editor's Note on the first page, detailing how Harold the dog dropped off his "true" manuscript to the book we are reading.
As I reread this book and the rest of the series I realized the best Bunnicula books are the later ones. The irony? I had never read them before! The last book I had read was the third: The Celery Stalks At Midnight. And it was underwhelming (and in hindsight is the weakest book). I had no idea how much good stuff I had missed!
The bits I remembered best as a kid were the idea of Harold confusing a piece of silver for a fork. And the bit with the sourball is classic too.
Chester the cat, as the antagonist is fun for his craziness, but I think the later books really nailed both the character, and his and Harold's friendship.
Bunnicula himself is adorable, of course. In this franchise the animals speak. The fact that Bunnicula doesn't (or can't) makes him seem a bit helpless and makes Harold's protection of him endearing.
One of my faves as a kid. ****.
Howliday Inn by James Howe
Howliday Inn is an outlier in the Bunnicula series. For one thing, it's the longest book and the only one over 200 pages. For another there is actual danger present, and as much of the mystery Chester guesses wrong, he's right a crime is taking place, and even knew the correct culprit before everyone else. The book is the only one where Chester's theories could be mistaken for competent.
I wish that hadn't been the case though, and happened more than just the once. I understand it works here because the mystery isn't supernatural (and it's the only book where the mystery isn't supernatural) so the resolution doesn't need to be a fake-out and all in Chester's head. Still Howliday Inn is quite refreshing in that there is actual peril the animals must navigate themselves out of, and things not only look dire, but actually ARE dire, because Chester is right for the only time. I like that aspect about it.
My favorite notion is that adventures are meant to be shared. They surely are.
I like it. Mostly because it's unlike the other books. And its differences are all good ones. ****.
The Celery Stalks At Midnight by James Howe
The Celery Stalks At Midnight is my least favorite Bunnicula book, and I can say, probably the only one I outright dislike.
The "It was just a play!" resolution is the cheapest of cop-outs. It's the kind of bullshit a bad franchise is allowed to pull just the once, and a good franchise would never even THINK to do EVER. It's the laziest piece of hackneyed writing out of all seven books.
I did like the Editor's Note this time out though, and finding out Harold has found an agent.
I also liked the bit of Harold noting and appreciating the rarity of Chester's compliments over the stick solution. When Chester calls it naturalistic and something Thoreau would appreciate, I thought that was a nice moment between them.
James Howe is crazy about the punny new character of Howie, but my feelings are actually quite lukewarm. It's not that I don't like puns. It's just that he never shuts it off and is ALWAYS making jokes. In later books when Howe is attempting dramatic moments, that works against it entirely and angers me. On the other hand, the good thing about Howie's humor and imagination is he's a comedy dude who will instantly commit to the bit and never break character. I'm the same way, so I respect that.
But really, this is the worst Bunnicula book by far. It feels like kind of a rip-off in hindsight it was the last one I read as a kid. I had no idea how good the final three books were actually going to be. *1/2.
Nighty-Nightmare by James Howe
Solid. The mystery (per usual) is junk, but the set-piece is Chester's campfire story about Bunnicula's origins. It's a perfect origin story, but I have to crossly point out that since Chester was clearly the one who made it up, it's aggravating that he actually believes it's true at the end. This is the one story where Chester's lunacy has no plausible deniability whatsoever.
Here was a moment I liked. Harold asked Chester why he can't ever just enjoy simple things. And Chester says, "I enjoy you, Harold." I love that because it's both a compliment of affection and an insult at the same time, which makes it a perfect line for Chester.
The brief glimpses we get of the Editor's life at the beginnings of these books are usually only 2 or 3 pages long, and STILL are often one of the book's highlights.
Very good. ***1/2.
Return To Howliday Inn by James Howe
I love this one. Not just for the heart and the tears. But because Chester is given several hero moments. The supernatural mystery is something Chester gets wrong per usual, but even Chester understands it's not about him being wrong and right. It's why it's so surprising and refreshing that when he truly believes the paranormal experience, he relates to the other animals, "As hard as this is to believe." Even cooler is the fact that once it's suggested this is a hoax, instead of digging in and going down further rabbit holes Chester agrees. And him wanting to be the hero who discovers the secret of Chateau Bow-Wow is great enough. But he's actually the hero who figures out the way to permanently reunite Hamlet and Archie.
And I'll tell you what Howe giving this to Chester means to me. It makes the conflict between Chester and Harold in the next book hurt all the more because of it. I dunno if Howe knew that was coming, but there's legit pathos there wouldn't be if we went straight from Nighty-Nightmare to Bunnicula Strikes Again. Because of this the stakes are genuine. It's not just Bunnicula in danger from Chester. Harold and Chester's friendship is in danger from each other. And it wouldn't land halfway as hard as it does if Howe wasn't canny enough to give Chester this.
The last three books are so great. *****.
Bunnicula Strikes Again! by James Howe
I can't believe how long it's taken me to read these last three books. This is amazing.
There is genuine peril in this one, but the thing is, there isn't a supernatural mystery. Chester has simply gone too far. Howe probably thought this was the last book (it's structured as such, for sure) and knew the actual conflict of the series was the fact that Chester always wanted to do Bunnicula in, Bunnicula was harmless, and Harold was caught in the middle. Once things start getting life-threatening for Bunnicula, Harold is forced to take a side, and it's one that costs him his best friend for a short time. It hits the right dramatic beats for a supposed humor series. This is what the tension of the books is about. Let's explore it, and even resolve it once and for all. "Traitor!" has weight for Harold because he feels it's true.
Chester turning into Bunnicula's protector at the end, by finding a way to do it without ever admitting he was wrong, is fantastic character growth in a kiddie book series about a vampire rabbit. The ending knocks me dead every time.
Unfortunately, the book is imperfect. I normally like imperfections in great stories, but this specific imperfection makes the story less great.
Whether he's whimpering in fear or not, the story is worse for the fact that when Howie believe Bunnicula might have died, he's still making rabbit puns about it. Howe is crazy about Howie and his silliness and imagination. I'm not, because there is a time and a place. He unpleasantly reminds me of Futurama's Bender in having the uncanny knack of being able to utterly wreck pure, honest, dramatic moments for an unfunny joke. And no, hard as this book hits me otherwise, I still can't give it five stars, because while Howe is indulging the kid-lit ridiculousness, even THEN, it's not landing as perfectly as it needs to.
The Editor's stuff at the beginning was unusually strong, as was the foreshadowing with Toby reading the final Sherlock Holmes story to Harold. There is a finality to things happening in the book.
What's great is Howe decided there was room for a seventh book after all. And what's great and interesting about that is Howe didn't use that as an opportunity to reopen the franchise and turn it evergreen. It gave us an even more satisfying definitive ending, which is a pretty neat fucking trick.
But DID Howe actually plan this to be the last book? Bringing up M.T. Graves a book early means he might have already subconsciously thinking ahead.
I love that near the beginning of the book Harold acknowledges readers have expressed concern over his eating chocolate because "it makes dogs ill" (or more like kills them). Harold has two defenses. He claims it's not true for all dogs (which I am not certain of, but it sounds like bullshit). He also tells the reader for the first (and only) time to remember that he's fictional, which is an incredibly meta moment. It's the one time Harold breaks character and the absurd reality of the situation in that way.
It's amazing how much subtext the book contains. From the Editor's portion on, the story is about transitions, and the fear of change. It's about the fear of drifting apart from your friends, subversively because of the actual reason you are friends to begin with. The conclusions reach a happy ending, but not easily, and to get there requires SOME emotional complexity. Not bad for Bunny Vampire kid-lit.
Howie puns aside, this was great. ****1/2.
Bunnicula Meets Edgar Allan Crow by James Howe
Perfect ending. Mostly, I think because it is unlike the other Bunnicula books. It is much more focused on the human characters than any of the other books.
The Editor's trials of becoming a sheep-herder give me similar vibes to Lemony Snicket. The guy telling (or in his case selling) the adventures has his own weird side-adventures going on in the background that connect to OUR adventures by the end.
M.T. Graves is an introverted writer with a ton of stuffed animals. Oh, yeah. I relate. Unlike Graves I feel no shame for my plushies, but plenty of people DO think I'm weird for them.
When Tanner asks if he can HAVE Bunnicula, Howe could have legit ended the series that way, and nobody would complain. He chose the safe route of giving Tanner Sonnicula instead. I would not have made that choice in his place, but it does have its advantages. The reason I wouldn't have bought that back is because if I truly wanted to move on from the franchise, a closed ending is the thing that does that. Keeping Bunnicula with the Monroes keeps Harold and the readers happy, but it also could mean Howe someday gets tempted to write yet ANOTHER "final" book, one that turns out much worse than this one. Losing Bunnicula would have prevented that. Hell, the same thing should have happened to Toy Story after the end of Toy Story 4, but James Howe is clearly more sensible than Disney Studios and Pixar ever were.
Howe namedropping himself is super tacky. I get the need to put himself on the same plane as J.K. Rowling, but not only does that comparison not make sense for sales reasons (Bunnicula will NEVER be the phenom Harry Potter was), the truth is, 50 years from now, people will look back on Bunnicula fondly, and I sincerely doubt they will Harry Potter. The toxicity of Harry Potter is a sign of its times, and also something that just will not be embraced by future generations. You can never predict these things 100%, but I'm pretty sure the problematic things that I always objected to are eventually going to be things society objects to. In the future Harry Potter will have the same cultural legacy and impact as Dumbo and Peter Pan, and for the same reasons. Nobody will diminish its accomplishments in getting kids to read as it was published. But nobody's gonna print those books or screen those movies without a big fat disclaimer warning people about the harmful portrayals of various groups of people. That's my prediction.
All this being said, the misleading mystery is probably the second worst since The Celery Stalks At Midnight. It's not quite as cheap and unfair as that, but all of the most incriminating stuff Tanner says and does happens to be a complete coincidence. The series is not Sherlock Holmes with its misleading mystery solves. It's fucking Three's Company with Jack Tripper-level misunderstandings. That is the level of Narrative seriousness I give the fake-out mysteries for these books. Scooby Doo has more legit credibility with me about the fake monsters. Bunnicula may have been recommended by Neil Gaiman (also yuck) but Scooby counted HAWKING among its fans. As far as quality goes, Scooby is MUCH worse than Bunnicula. When it comes to the science of the monster fake-outs, Scooby Doo has MUCH more credibility than Bunnicula does. If you'd never read Bunnicula, you probably appreciate what a slam that specific comparison sounds like, and are alarmed by it. Bunnicula fans will howl about its accuracy (it's quite true), but you guys just had Gaiman to back you up, and Scooby had Hawk. Scooby wins the classier fandom. Deal.
I'm kicking myself I stopped reading as a kid after The Celery Stalks At Midnight. In fairness, the final book was published in 2006 so I would have been in my 30's when I finished the series anyways. But I would have liked to have known all along that I SHOULD have. The person who wound up underwhelmed by this last readthrough of Madeleine L'Engle's Time Quintet would have been shocked by that fact. ****1/2.
Scream 7
Never trust critics in 2026. Especially those giving reviews to sequels. Their motives are always suspect.
Is this much maligned movie actually any good? I won't say that. I will say the review-bombing and shit it's gotten is pretty fucking transparent. It's not a great movie, but almost none of the Scream films actually are. And this is not outside of that at all.
The thing about Scream movies, and their actual weakness is the fact that so many main cast members survive. Especially ones you like. That should be good, right?
I don't think so. Instead of making the movie entertaining, you're worried about them until the movie is over. Say what you will about other slasher franchises. Them always having entirely new casts is actually a plus when it comes to shutting off your brain and allowing yourself to be scared instead of appalled. Every time a sequel is announced I am never excited. I sigh in resignation. This is supposed to be the FUN horror franchise and the personal connections to the characters means it's actually the one horror franchise I don't remotely enjoy at all.
I expected going in that I would inevitably have to do a long essay on how damaging the concept of the Stab movies were. Luckily for me (and for you if you find my reviews insufferable) this movie really did not deal with them. They are mentioned, but not an actual throughline. The next Scream movie that leans into them, you'll get an earful.
I will say the Stu Macher horror house IS why the Stab movies are bad. In real life something like that would not be permitted to exist. The fact that people in this specific franchise get off on horror movies is bad enough. It asks us to pretend it exists in a Universe where this is permitted to routinely continue. In real life the Stab movies would have been BANNED, free speech or not, probably under bipartisan consensus, and it would literally be a crime to own a Ghostface mask, free speech be damned. Trust me, America makes exceptions for free speech and expression ALL THE TIME. The obsessions with the Stab movie and the Woodsboro murders, which trigger mass murder after mass murder are something nobody would put up with, much less think was awesome.
The worst part of the Stab movies is the killers get their sought-after fame and notoriety. In the past few years, when it comes to mass shootings and killing sprees, we've grown accustomed to refusing to say the names of the killers and giving them the attention they crave. We'll name the victims, but as a rule, the killers go nameless. And it bothers me in the Scream Universe nobody ever bothers to do that.
Yes, in Our Universe, people have unhealthy obsessions with true crime podcasts. But regardless of what this movie suggests, that's actually a LOT different than what is happening here.
I guess I did my essay about the Stab movies after all.
I love that Gale did not hold back in the interview, not just because it was in character, but because these are important questions Sidney needed to actually consider and answer. And the end of Sid telling her that she IS a friend she trusts is correct, although it's probably something she should have realized long before now.
The Scream movies always bloody up the main cast more than anyone could survive in real life, only to reveal they walked away at the end. Dewey's endings were famous for that. I was annoyed Chad and Mindy were stabbed, but the fact that their bodies dropped and were never gotten back to is the clearest evidence they survived.
Mark actually surviving is that on steroids. There is no way he should have. Do you know what I think? I think he survived for the sole reason that if he or Tatum had died it would have been a huge middle finger to both Sidney AND Neve Campbell, so he survived for her sake. If that's so, I'm thinking they probably shouldn't have done the garage scene to begin with.
The newbies are ALWAYS warned to immediately shoot them in the head and they never do. I actually understand why the girl ran up the stairs this time (literally nowhere else to go). But taking their eyes off Ghostface for a split second before a bullet can be put in their head is something that is super frustrating and super consistent throughout all the movies.
It's noted the reason it's not really Stu is that would have been ridiculous.
How is the actual mystery though? The thing about Scream is that the fact that the killer can be anyone is sometimes a good thing. Scream 4 totally got us by making it the so-called protagonist. But like here, it means they don't actually have to put in real legwork for an actual mystery. The neighbor and the asylum guy? Really? Gail noted the killers always have a personal connection to Sid and the related victims. This is the least personal connection we have ever been given.
It's an average Scream movie getting a ton of shit for doing well at the box-office. It's Scream, so there IS actually a ton wrong with it. But there is nothing wrong with it that isn't actually also wrong with the first six movies. Never trust a critic in 2026. ***.
Batwheels "Presto Change-o"
Zatanna doesn't do any backwards talking, which is tough to pull off in animation anyways.
I crossly remember the Pilot of this show made concrete reasons why the Batwheels and the Legion of Zoom could speak and be sentient, and this show is constantly introducing new hero and villain cars who can magically do the same thing, but were never given the proper circuit-boards for that. It's a preschool show, so it's forgivable. I'm a nitpicker, so it's also annoying. ***.
Batwheels "Caped Crusader Caper"
I was resisting this. I was like, "No there is a difference between fun-stupid and stupid-stupid." Then the Bat-Bot starts saying the iconic phrases from Bat-Media over the decades. The second Ethan Hawke says "Tell your friends about me," I'm like, "I'll allow it."
The ending with the Bat-Bot maid however is freaking DUMB. You think Batman will be okay with that MOE? Idiot. ***.
Batwheels "Aqua-Wheels"
The voices on this show surprise me. Ethan Hawke is Batman, and I've seen Ethan Bertrand in other stuff, but other than that, the show mostly uses unknowns for everybody else. So, it was really cool hearing John DiMaggio as Aquaman. He is very much like Kevin Conroy as Batman. He will never be the most famous person in the role. But he is the best in the role and voiced the best iteration. His voice is different and less "Outrageous" than on Batman: The Brave And The Bold. But casting DiMaggio in the first place is pushing the right fannish button.
Wayne Knight is also a perfect King Tut. While we're talking about good casting. Hell, I think he would be great for the role in live-action too.
Outrageous! ****.
Batwheels "You Talkin' To Me?"
Not much in the episode to recommend. Diedrich Bader is BEYOND an interesting choice as Croc, but let me be clear: The character shouldn't be on the show. If you can't call a character by their name (in this case Killer Croc) for kiddie TV reasons, don't use the character. Slade from Teen Titans is the exception to prove this rule. But otherwise, just don't. Making Croc this funny cartoon animal also feels wrong too.
And the show not only keeps playing it fast and loose with Batman knowing the vehicles are sentient. But it constantly forgets the supposed reasons WHY this is supposed to be a secret. I'm guessing because the reasons were always bullshit. But see, it's because they're bullshit which is why they need to be strict, not loose. You'd have more wiggle-room if that shit made sense. But it was done entirely for bullshit story reasons and they do NOT have the wiggle-room they are claiming in this episode.
Not feeling it. **1/2.
Batwheels "The Butler Did It"
Alfred Molina as Alfred is not an ideal casting choice for the same reason Ethan Hawke as Batman isn't. You wish the actor was actually given a choice to either voice or play a legit version of the character, instead of a preschool one. It's an interesting choice, but like I said, not ideal.
The words "Father" are not explicitly used, but of course, that's what Alfred actually is to MOE.
The worst part about the DC Animated Universe's Condiment King being brought into the DC Universe proper is that Batman now has to treat him seriously. No matter the project, that is a narrative failing. He was a funny one-off joke on Batman: The Animated Series. DC should not have decided to make him A Thing in real canon.
I liked some stuff, disliked some other stuff. A mixed bag. **1/2.
Bunnicula: A Rabbit-Tale Of Mystery by Deborah and James Howe
This was one of my favorite books as a little kid and I see the appeal. The critic is me sees the flaws now (dogs can't eat chocolate!) but the book is charming as hell, and sort of wins the reader over with the Editor's Note on the first page, detailing how Harold the dog dropped off his "true" manuscript to the book we are reading.
As I reread this book and the rest of the series I realized the best Bunnicula books are the later ones. The irony? I had never read them before! The last book I had read was the third: The Celery Stalks At Midnight. And it was underwhelming (and in hindsight is the weakest book). I had no idea how much good stuff I had missed!
The bits I remembered best as a kid were the idea of Harold confusing a piece of silver for a fork. And the bit with the sourball is classic too.
Chester the cat, as the antagonist is fun for his craziness, but I think the later books really nailed both the character, and his and Harold's friendship.
Bunnicula himself is adorable, of course. In this franchise the animals speak. The fact that Bunnicula doesn't (or can't) makes him seem a bit helpless and makes Harold's protection of him endearing.
One of my faves as a kid. ****.
Howliday Inn by James Howe
Howliday Inn is an outlier in the Bunnicula series. For one thing, it's the longest book and the only one over 200 pages. For another there is actual danger present, and as much of the mystery Chester guesses wrong, he's right a crime is taking place, and even knew the correct culprit before everyone else. The book is the only one where Chester's theories could be mistaken for competent.
I wish that hadn't been the case though, and happened more than just the once. I understand it works here because the mystery isn't supernatural (and it's the only book where the mystery isn't supernatural) so the resolution doesn't need to be a fake-out and all in Chester's head. Still Howliday Inn is quite refreshing in that there is actual peril the animals must navigate themselves out of, and things not only look dire, but actually ARE dire, because Chester is right for the only time. I like that aspect about it.
My favorite notion is that adventures are meant to be shared. They surely are.
I like it. Mostly because it's unlike the other books. And its differences are all good ones. ****.
The Celery Stalks At Midnight by James Howe
The Celery Stalks At Midnight is my least favorite Bunnicula book, and I can say, probably the only one I outright dislike.
The "It was just a play!" resolution is the cheapest of cop-outs. It's the kind of bullshit a bad franchise is allowed to pull just the once, and a good franchise would never even THINK to do EVER. It's the laziest piece of hackneyed writing out of all seven books.
I did like the Editor's Note this time out though, and finding out Harold has found an agent.
I also liked the bit of Harold noting and appreciating the rarity of Chester's compliments over the stick solution. When Chester calls it naturalistic and something Thoreau would appreciate, I thought that was a nice moment between them.
James Howe is crazy about the punny new character of Howie, but my feelings are actually quite lukewarm. It's not that I don't like puns. It's just that he never shuts it off and is ALWAYS making jokes. In later books when Howe is attempting dramatic moments, that works against it entirely and angers me. On the other hand, the good thing about Howie's humor and imagination is he's a comedy dude who will instantly commit to the bit and never break character. I'm the same way, so I respect that.
But really, this is the worst Bunnicula book by far. It feels like kind of a rip-off in hindsight it was the last one I read as a kid. I had no idea how good the final three books were actually going to be. *1/2.
Nighty-Nightmare by James Howe
Solid. The mystery (per usual) is junk, but the set-piece is Chester's campfire story about Bunnicula's origins. It's a perfect origin story, but I have to crossly point out that since Chester was clearly the one who made it up, it's aggravating that he actually believes it's true at the end. This is the one story where Chester's lunacy has no plausible deniability whatsoever.
Here was a moment I liked. Harold asked Chester why he can't ever just enjoy simple things. And Chester says, "I enjoy you, Harold." I love that because it's both a compliment of affection and an insult at the same time, which makes it a perfect line for Chester.
The brief glimpses we get of the Editor's life at the beginnings of these books are usually only 2 or 3 pages long, and STILL are often one of the book's highlights.
Very good. ***1/2.
Return To Howliday Inn by James Howe
I love this one. Not just for the heart and the tears. But because Chester is given several hero moments. The supernatural mystery is something Chester gets wrong per usual, but even Chester understands it's not about him being wrong and right. It's why it's so surprising and refreshing that when he truly believes the paranormal experience, he relates to the other animals, "As hard as this is to believe." Even cooler is the fact that once it's suggested this is a hoax, instead of digging in and going down further rabbit holes Chester agrees. And him wanting to be the hero who discovers the secret of Chateau Bow-Wow is great enough. But he's actually the hero who figures out the way to permanently reunite Hamlet and Archie.
And I'll tell you what Howe giving this to Chester means to me. It makes the conflict between Chester and Harold in the next book hurt all the more because of it. I dunno if Howe knew that was coming, but there's legit pathos there wouldn't be if we went straight from Nighty-Nightmare to Bunnicula Strikes Again. Because of this the stakes are genuine. It's not just Bunnicula in danger from Chester. Harold and Chester's friendship is in danger from each other. And it wouldn't land halfway as hard as it does if Howe wasn't canny enough to give Chester this.
The last three books are so great. *****.
Bunnicula Strikes Again! by James Howe
I can't believe how long it's taken me to read these last three books. This is amazing.
There is genuine peril in this one, but the thing is, there isn't a supernatural mystery. Chester has simply gone too far. Howe probably thought this was the last book (it's structured as such, for sure) and knew the actual conflict of the series was the fact that Chester always wanted to do Bunnicula in, Bunnicula was harmless, and Harold was caught in the middle. Once things start getting life-threatening for Bunnicula, Harold is forced to take a side, and it's one that costs him his best friend for a short time. It hits the right dramatic beats for a supposed humor series. This is what the tension of the books is about. Let's explore it, and even resolve it once and for all. "Traitor!" has weight for Harold because he feels it's true.
Chester turning into Bunnicula's protector at the end, by finding a way to do it without ever admitting he was wrong, is fantastic character growth in a kiddie book series about a vampire rabbit. The ending knocks me dead every time.
Unfortunately, the book is imperfect. I normally like imperfections in great stories, but this specific imperfection makes the story less great.
Whether he's whimpering in fear or not, the story is worse for the fact that when Howie believe Bunnicula might have died, he's still making rabbit puns about it. Howe is crazy about Howie and his silliness and imagination. I'm not, because there is a time and a place. He unpleasantly reminds me of Futurama's Bender in having the uncanny knack of being able to utterly wreck pure, honest, dramatic moments for an unfunny joke. And no, hard as this book hits me otherwise, I still can't give it five stars, because while Howe is indulging the kid-lit ridiculousness, even THEN, it's not landing as perfectly as it needs to.
The Editor's stuff at the beginning was unusually strong, as was the foreshadowing with Toby reading the final Sherlock Holmes story to Harold. There is a finality to things happening in the book.
What's great is Howe decided there was room for a seventh book after all. And what's great and interesting about that is Howe didn't use that as an opportunity to reopen the franchise and turn it evergreen. It gave us an even more satisfying definitive ending, which is a pretty neat fucking trick.
But DID Howe actually plan this to be the last book? Bringing up M.T. Graves a book early means he might have already subconsciously thinking ahead.
I love that near the beginning of the book Harold acknowledges readers have expressed concern over his eating chocolate because "it makes dogs ill" (or more like kills them). Harold has two defenses. He claims it's not true for all dogs (which I am not certain of, but it sounds like bullshit). He also tells the reader for the first (and only) time to remember that he's fictional, which is an incredibly meta moment. It's the one time Harold breaks character and the absurd reality of the situation in that way.
It's amazing how much subtext the book contains. From the Editor's portion on, the story is about transitions, and the fear of change. It's about the fear of drifting apart from your friends, subversively because of the actual reason you are friends to begin with. The conclusions reach a happy ending, but not easily, and to get there requires SOME emotional complexity. Not bad for Bunny Vampire kid-lit.
Howie puns aside, this was great. ****1/2.
Bunnicula Meets Edgar Allan Crow by James Howe
Perfect ending. Mostly, I think because it is unlike the other Bunnicula books. It is much more focused on the human characters than any of the other books.
The Editor's trials of becoming a sheep-herder give me similar vibes to Lemony Snicket. The guy telling (or in his case selling) the adventures has his own weird side-adventures going on in the background that connect to OUR adventures by the end.
M.T. Graves is an introverted writer with a ton of stuffed animals. Oh, yeah. I relate. Unlike Graves I feel no shame for my plushies, but plenty of people DO think I'm weird for them.
When Tanner asks if he can HAVE Bunnicula, Howe could have legit ended the series that way, and nobody would complain. He chose the safe route of giving Tanner Sonnicula instead. I would not have made that choice in his place, but it does have its advantages. The reason I wouldn't have bought that back is because if I truly wanted to move on from the franchise, a closed ending is the thing that does that. Keeping Bunnicula with the Monroes keeps Harold and the readers happy, but it also could mean Howe someday gets tempted to write yet ANOTHER "final" book, one that turns out much worse than this one. Losing Bunnicula would have prevented that. Hell, the same thing should have happened to Toy Story after the end of Toy Story 4, but James Howe is clearly more sensible than Disney Studios and Pixar ever were.
Howe namedropping himself is super tacky. I get the need to put himself on the same plane as J.K. Rowling, but not only does that comparison not make sense for sales reasons (Bunnicula will NEVER be the phenom Harry Potter was), the truth is, 50 years from now, people will look back on Bunnicula fondly, and I sincerely doubt they will Harry Potter. The toxicity of Harry Potter is a sign of its times, and also something that just will not be embraced by future generations. You can never predict these things 100%, but I'm pretty sure the problematic things that I always objected to are eventually going to be things society objects to. In the future Harry Potter will have the same cultural legacy and impact as Dumbo and Peter Pan, and for the same reasons. Nobody will diminish its accomplishments in getting kids to read as it was published. But nobody's gonna print those books or screen those movies without a big fat disclaimer warning people about the harmful portrayals of various groups of people. That's my prediction.
All this being said, the misleading mystery is probably the second worst since The Celery Stalks At Midnight. It's not quite as cheap and unfair as that, but all of the most incriminating stuff Tanner says and does happens to be a complete coincidence. The series is not Sherlock Holmes with its misleading mystery solves. It's fucking Three's Company with Jack Tripper-level misunderstandings. That is the level of Narrative seriousness I give the fake-out mysteries for these books. Scooby Doo has more legit credibility with me about the fake monsters. Bunnicula may have been recommended by Neil Gaiman (also yuck) but Scooby counted HAWKING among its fans. As far as quality goes, Scooby is MUCH worse than Bunnicula. When it comes to the science of the monster fake-outs, Scooby Doo has MUCH more credibility than Bunnicula does. If you'd never read Bunnicula, you probably appreciate what a slam that specific comparison sounds like, and are alarmed by it. Bunnicula fans will howl about its accuracy (it's quite true), but you guys just had Gaiman to back you up, and Scooby had Hawk. Scooby wins the classier fandom. Deal.
I'm kicking myself I stopped reading as a kid after The Celery Stalks At Midnight. In fairness, the final book was published in 2006 so I would have been in my 30's when I finished the series anyways. But I would have liked to have known all along that I SHOULD have. The person who wound up underwhelmed by this last readthrough of Madeleine L'Engle's Time Quintet would have been shocked by that fact. ****1/2.
