"Buffy The Vampire Slayer" Season Seven Reviews (Spoilers)

[matt_zimmer]

Also reviews for the latest episode of Bob's Burgers, the season premiere of The Great North, the latest episode of Night Court, and the novels End Of Watch, and Gwendy's Button Box.



Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Lessons"

I mentioned in some of my reviews for Season 6, that Buffy The Vampire Slayer jumped the shark by doing the Wrong 2 Terrible Episodes In A Row. I said if a great series has 2 terrible episodes in a row, if they are the WRONG 2 episodes, it becomes a terrible series and never recovers.

Buffy never made a liar out of me. But I think this is best season premiere by far. I think if this season had lived up to the potential the early part promised I would have eaten my words and my theory would have been proven wrong for the first and so far only time.

I expected to cringe at some of the high school stuff and then I didn't. It's not amazing but it's not embarrassing. I also must commend the series for the way they present Principle Wood. He's the wild card of the season, and though he turns out later on to be good, the series played it like he could go either way. And I will give the series credit that absolutely none of the potentially shady things Wood actually did were inconsistent with him actually being a good guy. Buffy cheats at crap like that all the time. For all I know they could have cheated with WOOD about that in an upcoming episode before his true deal is revealed. But the season premiere, as written by Joss Whedon, dealt us square there. Beyond fair play.

I am a little amazed and shocked at how well Buffy and Spike's first scene together since the attempted rape works. Buffy doesn't know he has a soul, but she can clearly see something is wrong and different. And he's insane. "There's a duck?" She is so shocked to see him she doesn't even have a flashback in that moment (although she will in the next episode) and she's weirdly concerned about his self-injuries when by all rights she shouldn't be. The episode handled it better than it had any right to. I don't think I can forgive Spike. But they made it believable.

I distrust Halfrek. I do not believe her when she claims she Anya's only demon friend left. I also really hated the cheap shot at the French, and that's further proof that Whedon is a bully.

Willow is also very hard to forgive but putting her in England for the first couple of episodes doesn't just make the show breathe a bit. It, along with the prologue in Istanbul, gives the show a global feel, and makes it seem bigger and more epic than it has ever been.

I'm gonna talk about two more scenes before I dive into Episode 2. I believe they tie into each other, but that's up to the viewer to understand for themselves. It's not actually made explicit.

But although I found most scenes of Buffy training Dawn this year a bit overbearing, the one at the beginning of this episode is great. Not just for Sarah Michelle Gellar's bemused line reading about asking the vampire, "You're stuck?" But for Lesson 1, which we should have paid attention to at the time.

That ending is insane and dire! Fans had theories. What does that final season curtain call of the six previous Big Bads mean? Why is it Buffy at the end? And most importantly, and most up for debate: Is Spike simply crazy and this a part of his delusion? And that's where Lesson 1 being repeated comes in handy: "It's always real." So yeah, this is definitely the final season.

I could have sworn we learned Spike MEANT to get the soul back in the next episode, but the First as Wilkins says it here first.

Spike's undyed grown-out hair is probably the biggest thing that threw Buffy.

There are absolutely no cast changes this season. So them changing up the main title THIS year was done entirely to please the audience. I like it.

This was a near-perfect start to the season, and Buffy The Vampire Slayer had a REAL shot at redemption with the viewers. (And considering how much Joss loves redemption stories, that would have been appropriate). As the season goes along I will talk about why that didn't happen. But despite my ultimate disappointment in the series, I have always believed the bones of the final season were strong. It just wasn't told in the correct way. Partly due to poor characterization and partly due to the way too long 22 episode count. But Buffy The Vampire Slayer had a golden opportunity to go out on top and simply could NOT stick the landing. It's a DAMN shame. I actually think if the series had had an extra 3 months of prep time, and the network had agreed to cut between 8-10 episodes out of the final season order, Buffy might have gone down as the finest TV show in history, no matter how crappy Season 6 was. Instead my theory bears out, which believe me, doesn't actually make me happy. Buffy came SO close to ending well. Not just well. Amazing. SO close. *****.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Beneath You"

This is a frustrating as hell episode, and it hindsight, I don't see any way it couldn't have been. The thing with Spike is not something the audience should forgive, and acting like the soul is a Get Out Of Jail Free Card for rape is problematic. Maybe it wouldn't be if Spike himself wasn't suggesting he be forgiven at the end. The scene at the end of him hugging the cross is heart-breaking, devastating, horrible, and 100% narratively the WRONG thing to put on Buffy's shoulders, especially because of the attempted rape.

Here is an idea. Buffy forgave Angel in Season 3 for all the misery he put her through once he got his soul back. My question about that goes for Spike: "Why SHOULD she have forgiven them?" How is that the expectation for the poor girl? What does it tell women in the audience in abusive relationships by suggesting the people who abuse them can magically change and that's the end of it? I hate how messy this is, but this is last season's mess and they couldn't clean it up.

Anya recognizing the soul was great moment.

I also love Xander's line reading when he asks the woman if she'd like more tea.

The opening in Germany with the pink haired girl being chased to techno music was a total homage to Alias. I'm going to choose to believe it was a deliberate tribute / shout-out instead of outright theft.

"From Beneath You It Devours" is a great season catchphrase. Although Season 3's "Amends" definitely shows the First Evil evolved from underground, it still doesn't completely fit the premise, as cool as it sounds.

Here's something I either missed or forgot that's cool. Giles admits to Willow she might not be wanted in Sunnydale. There are no guarantees her friends would forgive her. What an adult idea and refreshingly honest. Even though he's wrong, he might not have been, so that makes the warning admirable. She might not be wanted. What she will be is needed. That's an amazing scene.

I think the episode is problematic. However... It's not this episode's fault. It had to clean up an unfixable mess. I'm not surprised it couldn't. Expecting it to is unreasonable. I guess I'm annoyed because they actually tried. I coulda told 'em it was a lost cause ahead of time. **1/2.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Same Time, Same Place"

That was great. The Gnarl is one of the scariest monsters of the series. And he's played by Camden Toy who played the equally terrifying Gentleman and Ubervamp. Both of those other roles are dialogue free. What's amazing is that he has a great, spooky voice.

This is the only episode of the series without a guest cast list at the beginning. The guests stars are all featured players like Toy rather than major roles.

Anya and Willow's stuff is great, especially Willow being taken aback by how insightful Anya is. "Buffy just killed the demon. It was really gross." I love Anya.

Her playing doll with Dawn was hysterical too.

Spike's insane. What's Xander's excuse? Honestly, I feel like the insane things Spike says have gone from batty and creepy to painfully silly. There is a fine like for that and "Button button, who's got the button?" crosses it. It's lame instead of chilling.

Buffy and Willow's scene at the end was amazing too. I love that Willow tells her it's all right that Buffy thought the worst. She's the Slayer and HAS to think things like that. It was a very good scene of both forgiveness and acceptance leading to the episode ending with Buffy literally giving Willow her strength. Nice ending.

I dig this episode a lot. One of the scariest episodes of the series for sure. ****1/2.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Help"

This episode is earnest, well-meaning and a total disaster. I cannot say enough bad things about it. But Azura Skye is so cute I feel bad for picking on the episode, no matter how sucky it is. Call it the Forrest Gump Effect. And it sucks.

Xander saying, "Willow, she's only 17!" upon Willow suggesting Googling Cassie is probably the most embarrassingly dated reference of the entire series. If you ask me it was dated by the time the episode first aired and Xander looks like a major league dumbass. But I like Nicholas Brendan's line reading on "Love poems!" (Willow's over you sweetie) and the revelation that Willow used to write Doogie Howser fanfic.

Honestly, I think the worst moment for me is Buffy going into Cassie's father's house and accusing him of beating her with zero evidence. He's angry at the accusation, but if you ask me the episode is poorly written because he's not outraged enough. I believe him that he doesn't do that. And if he doesn't, somebody coming into his house and accusing him of that would make a normal person flip out and lose control in rage. That is NOT an accusation to toss lightly at somebody just to see how they react. Parents take protecting their children seriously, and if they do do that, accusing them of the opposite will enrage them. For good reason. Buffy does a LOT of questionable things this year, many in her role as school counselor. This qualifies as one of her most egregious mistakes. She has no idea how lucky she is the guy didn't either flip out or report her for coming to the house and making an accusation she had no business making. She could have been fired. Maybe his fear of visitation rights being taken away completely is why he isn't currently calling her every dirty name in the book. Which makes Buffy even MORE contemptable that he can't fight back. But that was one of the lowest things Buffy ever did.

And the way the moment is played, I got the sense the writers were trying to portray the fact that since Buffy came back from the dead, she still is pretty much user-unfriendly, and simply out of f-words to give. But that's not an excuse, especially if it's a stranger on the other end of that.

I have never liked Zachary Bryan in a single role he's done. He plays jerk and sociopaths so effortlessly it surprised me not a jot he turned into such a turd when he grew up.

Early role for Rick Gonzalez. I just realized. The guy MUST really trim his unibrow. It's ever present on Reaper, Arrow, and Law & Order: Organized Crime. But still, it's never been as bushy and thick as this. He's practically Bert from Sesame Street here.

Cassie wishing her mean cousins would grow up to be fat is a very cool and bittersweet line.

Souled Spike does something Evil Spike is never willing to do: Play through the pain of the chip in inflicting violence on a human (who in this case deserves it). I'm starting to think Evil Spike is even weaker willed than I already thought he was.

When a show does a Very Special Episode, there is a thin line between portraying the problem realistically, and going overboard on the angst because you aren't actually taking the real problem seriously. I think the latter happened here. I really do. It's a bad episode. *.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Selfless"

In hindsight I can safely say this is one of the very best episodes of the entire series. Yes, I still think Buffy has irreparably destroyed itself. But it can still do highlights like this once in awhile.

Where to begin? I should probably discuss the flashbacks first, but honestly I was just to riveted by the debates and controversy to be able to talk about anything else before them. What a brilliant, twisty teleplay Drew Goddard constructed. That argument between Xander and Buffy about her killing Anya is amazing for the fact that it explored all sides of the issue. Let me be frank. I think Buffy is wrong to go straight to planning to kill Anya. What Xander doesn't understand is that wrong or not, it's her call. When she says she's the Slayer, and there isn't a guidebook, and she needs to be the law, that's the God's honest truth. She might be wrong about Anya. But it's ultimately up to her, even if she is.

I love Xander being all "When our friends go crazy and start killing people, we help them." I almost agree with Buffy's reasoning that Willow was different because she's human. Here is the only false note. If Willow should not be slain because she's human, she should follow human laws and be in prison for the people she killed. Buffy is right that Willow's case is different than Anya's because Willow's humanity means Buffy should not kill her. What Buffy is refusing to admit is that Willow IS actually getting preferential "Friend Of Slayer" treatment there anyways.

And Buffy didn't just decide this right then. She's known for awhile it would come to this and that's why she's not mad Willow was reluctant to reveal Anya's guilt. Because I think Willow knew what it meant better than Xander did. Buffy is about to break Xander's heart while he's mad at Willow, and I love the words she uses are "It's okay, Xander." It's really not. What's she's doing is letting him know Willow is NOT the person he needs to be mad at here. That's a great moment.

God, the double scene of Spike's delusion of Buffy in the basement broke my damn heart. Marsters killed it.

Let's talk some flashbacks. The Aud thing is amazing, especially hearing Anya raised rabbits, and in fact boosted the idea of communism and the public's general welfare. I was astounded by how great Abraham Benrubi's performance as Human Olaf was. This is a person who could have been cast in the Marvel Cinematic Universe with no problems. That's how authentic to that he feels.

I love D'hoffryn. He's cruel, for sure. But damn it, he's reasonable. And while him saying going for the Big Hurt is more what vengeance is about, left unsaid (and more true in my mind) is the fact it's not actually a sacrifice if Anya agrees to die in the guys' she's murdered places. That's the least she can do. Having to live with the death of her only current friend is the actual sacrifice needed to tip the Universal scales. D'Hoffryn uses scary words to ask her who she thought she was dealing with. But if you ask me, this wasn't entirely D'Hoffryn's choice or doing. It's the actual price of undoing the wish. D'Hoffryn both happens to know it and the exact way to rub it in to make it hurt the most. But it's actually right and just. Anya has to live with it now.

I love he stops his pitch mid-appearance, sees who summons him, and says, "Miss Rosenberg..." in an amused way, like they are old friends. He wishes! I think the reason I like D'Hoffryn is because he did favors for Buffy and the others that happened so quickly they probably didn't even register as favors. He warns Buffy loudly to hold Xander back. If she hadn't he would have had to kill him. I don't think ANYONE, even Xander registered that command was done to save the life of the man Anya loved. And D'Hoffryn does surprisingly respect him and refers to him as gallant. I also love how he points out he'd be gone before the sword even touched him. D'Hoffryn is unfinished business is a VERY bloody affair. Him warning Buffy off chasing him away before anything is fixed is another kindness. I love evil villains. But the evil villain I love the most is the FAIR evil villain. The REASONABLE evil villain. The evil villain who possesses a measure of grace maybe even the hero isn't altruistic enough to recognize as such. I LOVE that.

The episode is mad funny too. "Let us throw various meats and fruits at him!" was perfect, as was the fact that they actually translated subtitles for Olaf saying "Aaaarrgh!" Anya: "They all deserve it." D'Hoffryn: "Yes, that's what I was going for." Has everybody eaten their crazy flakes?

The final thing I wanted to talk about, is something I wanted to talk about every since "Hell's Bells", but I knew this episode was coming, and it's a better time to discuss it because it's dealt with head-on. Anya feels great regret at the end of the episode for never being her own person, and just latching onto whatever came along. And that was my problem with her arc in season 6, and even here. Anya doesn't make decisions for herself, or have her own goals. She listens to what other people tell her she should be doing. The only thing I have ever seen her do that she wanted and pursued of her own initiative is her relationship with Xander itself. Everything else, from the marriage proposal to becoming a vengeance demon again, she is basically sold a bill of goods, and signs on because she has no better prospects. That's why the title of the episode resonates so much. She's not been her own person up to now, and she's realizing she might have to be.

Unfortunately, because Season 7 is underwhelming, although the wish for that piece of character development is laid here, it's never actually followed up on on the series itself. Anya maddeningly dies a pointless death at the end of the season for a cause she didn't fully believe in. And I think the thing that makes me the most sad about Season 7 being underwhelming is stuff like this gave it the opportunity to be amazing, and it just couldn't follow through for whatever reason. This episode got to me though. It's one of my absolute favorites. *****.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Him"

I'm trying to think of an episode of this show Drew Z Greenberg has written that wasn't absolutely horrid, but I'm coming up blank. This however is probably his worst so far.

Greenberg mentioned in a previous commentary the wise guidance Whedon gave him for teaching him you can't flip an orientation on and off like a switch. And yet, that's EXACTLY what he did here with Willow! He did it with an absolute lack of self-awareness too, which is equal parts alarming and disgusting.

After the stances last season took about rape, it's played for laughs here. Since it's not RJ's fault, technically the JACKET raped Buffy. But that's what happened and we're supposed to find it funny.

Even if we didn't accept Buffy as a victim, her age and role as school counselor makes her a predator herself instead. The counselor bit from the season was pulled back on once it became clear Buffy was terrible at it, and in cases like this, often criminal.

Her flinching when Spike touches her is the right moment, but also shows why the attempted rape was so ill-advised.

I'm having a very hard time understanding why people, even Buffy, don't understand the soul thing. As if Xander leaving Anya at the alter was equivalent to what Spike did. All Buffy needed to say was "Remember when Angel was nice, and then he was bad, and then he was nice again? That's what the soul means."

Spike is laconic and observant in the episode. It's sort of an interesting facet to give him as he slowly adjusts to life outside the basement. Him and Xander make an interesting crime-fighting duo.

Here's an opinion that I shouldn't have to point out: Xander ogling a woman on a dance floor and saying "Daddy like," is disgusting and out of bounds even if it WEREN'T Dawn. The fact that the show doesn't know that is why it sucks.

The sight gag of Spike tackling Buffy in the background shot of Wood obliviously working on his computer is actually sublime. No doubt. I also liked Xander's line "I refuse to answer on the grounds that it wouldn't fit."

If I don't wind up thinking this is the worst episode of the season, I'll be shocked. 0.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Conversations With Dead People"

Vastly overrated, but in fairness to the episode, I only think that because I have the context of having seen the rest of the season. When this aired, my mind was blown. If the season had lived up to this episode's promise, I'd love it unreservedly.

Maybe there's one thing I wouldn't dig. The cruelty of the Cassie stuff. Apparently, the original idea was to have the First take the form of Tara herself. The First as Cassie makes a lame excuse for why Tara can't visit herself here, but the truth is if anyone was going to convince Willow suicide was palatable, it would need to be Tara. It makes no sense to be suggested by a third party like Cassie.

The problem was Amber Benson said no on coming back. Not only was her time on the show miserable, but I'm guessing she found the return unfathomably cruel, not just to Willow, but to the audience. The show gave the character a giant middle finger on the way out. Reveling in Willow's suffering here would be adding insult to injury. I agree with Benson for not returning. But that fact doesn't make Cassie a passable substitute. Instead the entire thing is simply messed up and unpleasant. Seeing Willow hurt in the name of Tara is not good earned drama. It's damn mean.

Let's talk about the good drama: Buffy's conversation with Webb is one of the highlights of the season. He's great because although he's evil, he's empathetic. "Buffy, I'm here to kill you, not to judge you," is a perfect line not just in its earnestness and honesty. But the fact that it is both makes it completely ridiculous, and you stop and be amazed at what a wonderfully weird show this can be at its best. And Jonathan M. Woodward (A Mutant Enemy Hat Trick) is beyond charming and funny.

I also love the touch that the episode title is seen at the beginning for the first and only time, and the episode is set on November 12, 2002, at 8:01 PM. That means nothing to people watching it for the first time years later, but those of us who saw it over the air remember that was the date it aired, and 8:01 was the exact time the title card appeared (after the usual recap). The original conceit was that the episode was being aired live for the first and only time. Again, that doesn't play for new audience members. But it was beyond cool back in the day.

Jonathan talking about how much he cared for the people he went to high school with is leaving the character on a moment of grace after basically destroying him in the later seasons. Letting him have this one last nice thing before Andrew kills him is good. Although frankly, it would have been BETTER if Andrew didn't kill him.

Few things to note about the First in its "First" onscreen appearance. And some of this stuff is why I think the episode is less awesome in hindsight. This episode indicates the First Evil can be in two places or more at once. If it's a single entity is can break up its focus into smaller groups, that would make is VERY hard to beat and ascertain its reality. But what kills me this is the only episode that occurs in! The First can be accounted for in every other later appearance. Can you see why I'm a little disappointed in hindsight? That's a huge idea, not seen or used in much of the rest of fiction, and the show just abandoned it.

Similarly, Dawn's stuff is horror movie frightening (although I could have done without the "Mother's Milk is red today" stuff) but Joyce's warning about Buffy could have been a major tension of the season, but was never followed up on. Yes, it's clear Joyce is actually the First and lying. But Buffy's betrayal is in the back of Dawn's mind the entire season and it's not properly addressed or paid off. My biggest complaint about the season was all of the exciting ideas the show set up early on it simply abandoned, or hoped the audience would forget about. And that's really unfortunate.

I'm all about Buffy baring her soul to a vampire she barely knows. It's an amazing thing that is insightful, funny, crazy and weird. Would that the rest of the episode (and the season) lived up to that promise. ****.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Sleeper"

There was a sense of dread permeating this part of the season which was why back in the day I thought we were in for a killer ending. I was wrong, but I was not wrong about how strong, tense, and scary the first third of the season was.

THAT is a cliffhanger. Although I will probably wind up calling b.s. on the resolution.

Aimee Mann hates vampire towns.

I love Buffy telling the guy Billy Idol stole his look from Spike.

Buffy's feelings for Spike seem beyond complex. The fact that she both cares about him and is a little disgusted with him is evident.

Anya's behavior was actually kind of gross. I love Spike's "Do be specific and tell a fella what you are doing sneaking around in here."

I really wish the series was not under network scheduling demands and huge episode counts. It could have had an amazing ending. ****1/2.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Never Leave Me"

This is probably the high point of the season. Not the best episode. But the episode where the arc was at its most exciting. The last shot of the Ubervamp was sublime. He tilts his head minutely (for a single frame no less) before the credits black out and it's perfectly chilling. This specific episode was the reason I thought Buffy's end would be amazing. I'm not saying it's all downhill from here. But I feel like the momentum and tension never quite lived up to the last episode and this.

Buffy telling Spike she believes in him is freaking amazing. I also really like that Spike calls Buffy on using him. He didn't understand or mind it before, but it's interesting it bothers him now. And maybe the writers got it into their heads that what Spike did in "Seeing Red" is forgivable simply because Spike could tell Buffy she got off easy and we'd believe him. I don't agree with that method of storytelling but I get the logic of how they believe that would work. They just happen to be wrong.

The Watcher's Council is just done blowed up good. Yeah, this is the last season, and also the highpoint of the Arc. We later learn that was the work of Caleb.

I don't think we ever got a properly good reason why Wood buried Jonathan's body in secret. It would have made sense if he was already teamed up with the Scoobies. But even with knowing what he probably already knows it seems like a plot oversight.

The return of The First Evil. I had totally forgot about them back in the day and it's amazing they are the Ultimate Evil on the show.

It's genius that the first person to confront Andrew is Willow. I feel like the scene could have been better written though.

I know it's the First claiming it instead of Jonathan himself, but the idea of that kid having an ulcer in high school is completely believable.

The show DID have the potential to redeem itself for the final season. And I'm convinced if a few more things had been working in its favor, it could have. *****.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Bring On The Night"

GILES, TOUCH SOMETHING!!!

There are problems present. I didn't exactly completely register them at the time, but they exist.

Buffy's final fight with the Ubervamp is huge, but that's really all the episode is. There's nothing much else of note occurring. Spike is in a holding pattern and the Potentials are annoying and the only interesting thing is Buffy FINALLY getting every square inch of her ass kicked.

I will say this: One of the biggest failures of the season was how poorly written and performed Buffy's "inspirational speeches" wound up being. Sarah Michelle Gellar is a good actress, but those bits were never believable to me. Except the first one here. This one feels genuine, and maybe because she's so hurt, the vulnerability makes you believe it. But I don't think Buffy is b.s.ing anything for the only time.

I understand the show playing fast and loose over whether Giles is Giles or Giles is dead and evil (driving fans crazy is a good thing), but I think it's playing TOO fast and loose with Wood's motivations. The mysteries line followed by the evil smirk helped nobody and didn't feel narratively truthful.

Buffy falling asleep mid-session is why her job as a counselor was so ill-advised. You can't playfully make her incompetent at that specific thing and not make me hate her.

The most moving part of the episode is Spike refusing to give up because Buffy believes in him. I wonder if Buffy understands exactly how much that meant to him. I sincerely doubt at this point she does.

The worst thing in the episode is Molly screaming "Biscuits!" Joss needs an intervention over him English idiom obsession. Would an American teenage girl seeing a box of cookies ever scream "Cookies! I love cookies!" Then get a freaking grip there.

I was a little concerned when I first saw it, but it was the next episode that really let me down. It's still solid. ****.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Showtime"

GILES, TOUCH SOMETHING!!!

I LOVE the last scene and think it's one of Spike and Buffy's most moving scenes ever. But back in the day I was hugely disappointed with the episode. I sensed the season was becoming unraveled. I had pretty basic tastes back then, and was hardly as critical as I am now. But me sensing trouble was right. There are a LOT of problems with the episode that hurt the season. We'll get to the fact that the Potentials are almost uniformly whiny and unlikable. But the episode made some very poor choices that I'm betting the series would not have made with either a smaller episode count, or three extra months of planning. Network TV is always done on the fly, and Season 7 of Buffy was one of the most ambitious seasons in TV history up to that point. Nowadays shows have year long hiatuses and episode counts of only 10 to get it right. Back in the day stuff like Buffy was done on the seat on their pants, and it failing was not a surprise. I was unhappy, but really, the show had SO many things working against it budget-wise, time-wise, and padding-wise.

I believe killing the Ubervamp was the first major mistake of the season. Yes, there have been crappy episodes like "Him", but that was filler. Killing the Ubervamp gutted the building tension the season had been piling on top of itself over these past few episodes. And if the episode count was 13 episodes, not only wouldn't they have done it, they wouldn't have needed to do it. I get the logic of letting things breathe until Caleb shows up near the end of the season. But it was the most tense and exciting season ever until they did that. And it never recovered.

The Oracle thing was another reason I got my hopes up, and they were dashed. I mentioned that if the show had a few extra months of planning, things would have worked. This specific thing may mean I was wrong there. There is no reason for the show to be setting up the idea that Buffy's resurrection was responsible for the First gunning for the Slayer line. It not only doesn't actually make sense (the Slayer line currently resides with Faith, not Buffy, after all) but something like that needs to not just be followed up on, but explained how that would work later on. If the season had been the amazing arc I had been hoping it would be, that would have been a huge part of the mystery of the First, and to do with both its history and how to defeat it. The season and the series were a disappointment because it's never brought up again instead. And I keeping wishing the show had more time to develop the final arc, but the truth is that kind of glaring mistake is not something that can be excused by lack of prep time. It suggested the entire arc was NOT planned out ahead of time, and damn it, regardless of the fact that brutal schedules probably messed things up, it being planned out is not an unreasonable expectation. Hell, previous seasons of the show were clearly planned ahead of time (I'm thinking most clearly of Season 4, which while technically being a lousy season, also ran the tightest arc from beginning to end.). This kind of thing says the writers are making it up as it goes along. And considering the First is a nebulous villain Buffy can't REALLY kill, I wanted a better backstory. And the First was first introduced in Season 3, so it's not like the show had NO time in developing the idea further and figuring out how to make it work. Sigh.

The Potentials. Rona makes an incredibly bad first impression, which grates because she's the Black Potential. In fairness to the show, at least she doesn't die by the end of the season. But making her always complaining and always wrong feeds into a negative stereotype about Black women anyways. The show tries a little harder with Kennedy in making her a little more gung-ho and competent, but that's annoying for a different reason. I think the biggest thing to say the Potentials as characters aren't working is that despite the fact that the show WANTS me to hate the ghost of Eve, I hated her way before I should have. And maybe the show thinks I SHOULD have hated her the entire time. I don't. I think that's a sloppy, easy cop-out to how manipulative the First would need to be and the tightrope it would need to walk to both cast doubt and not get found out. Subtlety would have done wonders for the idea, but that's not how this show rolls.

Dawn casting shade on Andrew felt pretty good. For noting he killed his only friend, to being disgusted with how his Timothy Dalton talk made no sense, Andrew is very much useless. I did appreciate he was the one among them who got Buffy's Thunderdome reference, but he's not making a good impression on the Scoobies. I notice he brought up the Imperium and the Shape-Shifting Alien Invaders in regards to the Justice League! I never noticed that! That means he was specifically referring to the animated Justice League of that era. It's always bothered me that I believe Justice League Unlimited is the greatest animated show of all time, and it's made always NO impact on popular culture. Well, there apparently always was this reference on Buffy back in the day, I must have missed or simply not understood the significance of it.

Just pointing out, the Bringers are human. Clearly. They disfigure their eyes but Buffy does not mind killing them left and right. It makes the fact that Buffy sees killing humans in such a black and white light in previous seasons feel even more obnoxious than it was. After all, these AREN'T the first humans Buffy herself has killed on the series.

"Why is that guy tied up?" "The question you soon will be asking is why isn't he gagged?" Classic.

Spike praying for Buffy to rescue him is moving, and considering what happened last season, kind of twisted. And I think that button pushing is a bit deliberate on the show's end, and I can't fault it for that. It's really an amazing turnaround for the characters. I especially love that Spike has turned into the scantily clad damsel in distress. That is his role here, and considering it's Spike, yeah, that's EXTRA subversive. But I think it's that in a good way. I will never forgive Spike, but Season 7 certainly got their money's worth in exploring his repentance with his soul. So there.

It's an exciting episode. That has a happy ending and relieved tension at a part of the season our stomachs should still be in knots over. Killing the Ubervamp was a grave mistake. ***1/2.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Potential"

I won't lie. The last scene between Xander and Dawn is unusually amazing for this show. I will argue it is Xander's finest moment on the series.

Unfortunately, the episode starts off wrong and gets wronger and wronger until then.

Buffy's speeches are terrible. This is a major flaw for this season, considering they are trying to make Buffy's speeches a huge facet to her character, and how she relates to both her charges and her friends. Inspirational speeches are NOT easy to write. I know that. If they were, I'd write a ton of 'em. But as writer you can only take them so far before they lose meaning, and yes, their punch. This show clearly spun out of control with that idea early on, and it becomes painful by the time the episode is over.

The episode exists to sort of feel out the idea of Dawn The Vampire Slayer. It's no wonder because of crap like this Sarah Michelle Gellar said in no uncertain terms this was her last season, and they ended the show instead. Joss Whedon bragged in the commentary for "Lessons" that the final scene of the premiere proved it was the last season. Except Marti Noxon and the producers were sending out feelers to figure out a way to keep the show going sans Gellar, and she was understandably pissed and offended. And she should have been. That's insulting.

I love that Buffy hugs Clem. He's so cute. And his Beetlejuice trick is freaky.

The sexual tension between Buffy and Spike (noticed by the Potentials) is not working for me. I still can't get over last season. Still.

Usually I frown on purposefully cringe moments. But Andrew talking about the allegory for womanhood was cringe in a GOOD way. It was hilarious, as was Xander begging him to talk about Star Wars again.

When Buffy says the First is "in remission" I was like "No, no, no!" That is NO way to run a final season. And I've thought that was a huge mistake for over two decades. Me hating that idea now is not remotely new. I've always hated it and this was the actual episode the season lost me.

Flawed from the ground up. The season is losing steam it can't afford to lose, and the characters are becoming too unlikable. This is bad news for the rest of the season (and series). **1/2.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "The Killer In Me"

Not great. Not bad. But filler in a season that by all rights should be going full speed ahead.

We'll take a little more about the Giles resolution in the next episode, but the gang tackling him was fun. The joke about him being evil for NOT touching the girls was however strictly badly written sitcom, which is sadly what the humor in the show often is.

Allyson's Hannigan's performance in the gun shop was great too. Like the Ubervamp in his first episode, she slightly tilts her head before the act break blackout and it's actually creepy as all hell.

I don't love Willow anymore. But I do have to say I appreciate the fact that she says there was a REASON she killed Warren. There actually was. The morality of it before she turned full-fledged evil WAS actually debatable. On some level he had it coming.

Lousy end for Amy. I won't forgive the show for this.

I love that the army guy calls Spike "Ass-Face" because those were Riley's exact words. I also love that Riley put all matters regarding Hostile 17 in Buffy's hands knowing she'll make the right decision. Which is cool because she does. I wonder why Riley will think when he hears the chip was removed. Does Buffy have to fill out a report? Would she explain the soul there? What about Spike's killing spree? It's the right decision but looking back on it Riley put a LOT of faith in her.

The FX transitions of the kissing of Kennedy between Willow and Warren were absolutely terrible. I know it's TV from 20 years ago, and one with a tiny budget. But really it's about as noticeable an effect as Patty Duke. Well, okay maybe not THAT far. But ballpark.

The "Will that phrase ever be useable again?" thing is something I noted as amazingly clever at the time, but I don't think I gave it enough credit for it even then. It's a great Ghostbusters reference because it never actually references Ghostbusters. It knows the viewers understand what it's talking about and doesn't make it explicit to explain the joke for anyone who's never heard the phrase (Which I'm doubting is very many people). But I love the joke for not explaining itself or making itself super obvious to dilute the comedic impact.

Didn't like Hannigan's performance in the last scene crying over Tara. It's a bit much and I always cringe whenever she refers to Tara as "Baby".

The season should NOT be doing filler episodes. **1/2.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "First Date"

Part of me wants to love the episode. But it made some choices that made sure I'll only like it.

I recall being fed up back in the day over how Buffy was treating Giles after the episode "Lies My Parents Told Me", but I was a little shocked at how much I disliked Giles in THIS episode. When he says at the end "Oh, enough!" about the group's private lives, I think they should be saying the same thing to him. Buffy and Xander both had dates. And Buffy's date didn't stop her from her job of saving the world (and Xander). She navigated it entirely successfully. If it were a case of that taking up her entire focus, and messing up the group, that would be one thing. But Giles is essentially complaining because in these dire circumstances, people looking to make connections and find rare moments of peace and happiness is somehow bad. It's not. It's normal. It's human nature. It's necessary to GET people through these bad times.

The resolution to how Giles stopped the axe strikes me as a retcon. At the end of "Sleeper" the axe came far too fast and close to his head to have been able to have been stopped by his hand. It was at this point Annie Wilkes stood up in the theater and screamed, "That's not what happened last time!"

Ashanti doesn't bring much to the table, but she's cute, and Buffy gets to kill her, so she's a passable celebrity guest star. Normally I frown on black actors being killed on-screen, but I feel in this specific instance it was done as an honor to the actress, instead of as genre racism. And God knows this show has its share of genre racism.

The jokes with the Chinese Potential are a case in point. It went on long enough that it stopped being a funny idea and became an offensive one. What bothers me is that I only noticed that in 2024. I wish I had been able to see how harmful the portrayal was at the time. I will say this in my defense. Even though I never registered how the jokes were trafficking in harmful stereotypes, I can honestly at LEAST say I never found them funny. Small comfort, but it's true.

Wood's shady actions alone in his office are beyond misleading, but the idea that his mother was a Slayer, and one of the Slayers Spike killed is a good one. God, I wish this season had been ten episodes shorter. They could have really laid it on thick there.

And yeah, D.B. Woodside is a dreamboat. I love that Spike tells Buffy he's okay before the date, but Wood knows it won't work the second she sees her tending to Spike's wounds. He immediately gets he's not The Guy and he ain't gonna get The Girl and the 'ship is dead.

I loved some of the things Buffy said about Spike in the episode. She claims to Willow she isn't still in love with Spike. Funny, she spent the entire last season claiming she WASN'T in love with him! I'm wondering how dramatically inept the writers are to not have Willow drop everything and say "Hold the phone! You WERE in love with Spike at one point?" I also love that Buffy tells Giles Spike can be a good man. I don't think Giles understands the context of why that is. But the truth is Buffy's hold on Spike is thousand times stronger than the First's. Once she told Spike she believed in him, that was probably the greatest moment of his life up to that point, and he'll do anything for her. In Giles' defense, he has no context for that idea because he doesn't know what ordeals Spike and Buffy went through, what unforgivable things Spike did, how much them getting through those things to be in a platonic friendship / alliance means to them both. The third thing Buffy said about Spike I actually didn't agree with. She said the chip was immoral and wrong. When he was Hostile 17 and biting people, I couldn't disagree more. The chip was an actual kindness to an unsouled vampire. Hell, Spike never would have gotten on his path of redemption with Buffy at ALL without that damn chip. It was the furthest thing from "wrong".

Danny Strong gives a surprisingly, well, STRONG performance as The First. I haven't forgiven Andrew, but him telling the Scoobies and wearing a wire makes me forgive him a LITTLE.

People have noted how literal Anya is. And one of the funniest demonstrations of that is her claiming Xander is trying to make her jealous on his date, and Buffy rolls her eyes and says, "Thank God it's not working." And Anya looks are her in disgust. "Of COURSE it's working!" Despite her claim in the next episode for being valuable for her sarcasm, the truth is she doesn't understand the concept.

I remember hating the next episode? Will I? We'll see. I DID like this one. ***1/2.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Get It Done"

Three brief notes. I was right. I hated it. Second note is this review will probably be long. The third note is this is one of the most influential episodes of a TV series I have ever seen. It greatly informed my writing and how I approach things. It was definitely pleasurable rediscovering and remembering why that was.

On paper a fan of The Un-Iverse would take a look at this episode, and says it's a master class in what NOT to do in Gilda And Meek. I think that's PART of it. But it's not ALL of it. Despite the fact that the episode did a LOT of bad narrative things that it helpfully taught me to avoid, the truth is it had the right idea about something. It just didn't pull it off. But I thought the idea was great, and it greatly influenced a future scene. The end of the Doctor Who episode "The End Of Time, Part 2" influenced that scene equally, and for the same reason. It's a great idea. That both Buffy and Doctor Who botched.

But I REALLY love the idea of that when the chips are down, the main hero rages against the dying of the light instead of facing things with cool resolve and dignity. Becoming petty and petulant, and whining about how unfair everything is. I think it brings humanity to a main hero, and I am gonna to give Gilda one of these moments down the line. The problem is both Buffy and Doctor Who botched the idea. But it's a sound and even GREAT idea. They just both did it wrong. What did they do wrong? Specifically THIS episode, since I'm reviewing it?

See, I don't have a problem with a hero not being willing to face either their deaths or a bad situation with dignity. I don't. But did Buffy REALLY need to crap on all of her friends to do it? Did Ten REALLY need to browbeat poor Wilfred Mott as if he didn't feel bad enough? The upcoming scene with Gilda has her raging against an unfairness against her. And yes she's whiny, petulant, and sounds weak for it. The reason it's gonna work and this didn't is Gilda is not gonna blame her friends for her problems. She's not gonna tell everyone ELSE how much they suck compared to her. You won't hate Gilda after her snit. And that's the difference.

When Buffy says Chloe was an idiot and weak, she was right to take that tack with the Potentials. When she starts going into "I've been carrying you guys" her rage crosses the line from dying against the light, to simply being a jerk and a bad friend. I don't think that second is necessary for the first thing to work and have resonance. And this scene and Ten's regeneration got stuck in my head and I was like, "I KNOW I can do better!" I LOVE that feeling, especially when it's true. Technically, yes, the episode's main value is telling me what NOT to do. But it gave me the idea in the first place even though it messed it up.

I think what the producers of this show and Doctor Who don't understand is when you do something like that, especially in the final season / episode, when a character should be gaining wisdom and insight instead, is that the the friends the character rails against aren't the only people who have to live with it. The audience does too. I never forgave Buffy for this. I mentioned there were points in the season where the show could have potentially redeemed itself from the horrible sixth season. This was the episode that made it so it couldn't. Buffy blaming ALL of her friends for her frustrations, and suggesting she's better than them meant no decent ending or redemption story was possible for the series.

Buffy says some of the most horrible, unforgivable things to Spike. Here is what kills me, and something Giles cannot ever grasp. Spike thinks so much of her, he is the only person in the group to take her bogus complaints seriously and adjust his behavior. Maybe because Buffy's behavior is so despicable, this wouldn't impress Giles much. But as far as Buffy insisting Spike is a good man goes, it definitely points out that she has more control over Spike than the First ever did.

"Where did you get that jacket?" "New York." Perfect moment. Bad things are going to go down.

Anya and Spike's stuff is painful and embarrassing. I don't even know why they are going there. It makes me think less of both characters.

The show's biggest mistake was giving Buffy this when she is supposed to be wise and making inspirational speeches. But she turns down the power offered not because of female empowerment, as she claimed. But because she's scared. And having that occur AFTER the snit of her telling everybody how great she is the worst storytelling decision the show could make. I think the idea is that before the final battle, the show wanted to tear Buffy down a bit. For the final time. But it's the last damn season. They shouldn't need to do that anymore. It's a storytelling failing.

This episode put good ideas in my head and made me say the phrase every writer longs to say after seeing a shaky episode of a show they happen to love: "I can do better." I remember that feeling, how wonderful and powerful it is and love and hate the episode in equal measure.

My love won't effect the final grade though. The episode still sucks. Big time. The season never recovered. *.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Storyteller"

I feel like Andrew's arc took up too much of the season. And the worst part is that Anya's death was done ONLY to service it. I mean, Andrew is cute and all, but who really cares about him?

I do find it very interesting how much Buffy personally dislikes him. For the record, a record of the end of the world IS a good idea. I think less of Buffy for not realizing it.

One of the things I like about her dislike is that it comes from disgust that he killed Jonathan. By the end of last season, she didn't much like Jonathan anymore. But it's nice that she was still able to feel rage on his behalf after he was gone. Still, it probably woulda been easier just to pack some onions for those tears

There is a point to Andrew always missing filming the important things. I'm sure of it.

Once he has the cigarettes and the jacket back, Spike is very much back to acting like he used to before the soul. It feels a bit of a stretch on this show after everything that happened, but it made it so James Marsters could more believably blend into the cast of the fifth season of Angel.

Xander and Anya feel very much like unfinished business. And they always will.

I love that the Cheese Man in in Jonathan and Andrew's vision of the First, that brings them back to Sunnydale. Joss Whedon staunchly denied the Cheese Man ever meant anything. Him being included there makes that incredibly hard for me to believe. I can come up with better answers than Whedon could, for sure. It weird Whedon is so against me doing so. I am allowed to believe the Cheese Man matters and is an Agent of the First and always was.

This is one of the only four episodes of the series (along with "Becoming, Part 2", "Once More, With Feeling", and "Chosen") that change up the Mutant Enemy title card in the end credits.

Eh. It's a good-ish episode, but it's filler too near the end of the series, and also focuses entirely on a character that really shouldn't matter to us. Not enough to center one of the final batches of episodes around at any rate. Some stories aren't worth telling. **1/2.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Lies My Parents Told Me"

On some level it's one of the best episodes of the season. On another, it's another reason the season failed.

The Spike stuff is pure dynamite. My God, what a wonderful and horrible backstory with his mother. And him declaring at the end that unlike Nikki Wood, his mother loved him back, was both cruel and transcendent, and a perfect character moment.

The thing I most notice about the trap Wood led Spike into is how dirty it was. I was actually right not to begrudge Giles' decision here. Hell, the tone of voice Anthony Stewart Head says "You're Nikki Wood's son. Spike killed your mother," makes me UNDERSTAND it, if not agree with it. But did Robin HAVE to make it such an unfair fight if he was gonna use the trigger to bring out the monster within? It was below the belt and cowardly. And Buffy telling him it's the mission that matters has to sting for that reason.

The stuff with Spike's mother makes me think. I think the reason Spike never understood it was the demon talking, at least before he got his soul back, is because before he did, he never recognized himself as two separate people, which he was. Vampire Spike was an entirely different entity than William. He just had his personality and memories. He never felt the disconnect that he was the thing that killed William instead of William, so he is shocked that his mother saw things entirely differently. I'm not gonna go so far and let his mother entirely off the hook by the way. While I believe she's wrong that William felt a deep need to... um... be WITH her, her bringing it up at all suggests it's at least crossed her mind before she became a vampire. I'm not willing to put that entirely down to the demon. Granted, the demon was trying to torture her former son, but I don't actually believe the idea originated with her. Either deep down his mother secretly wanted that, or worried that he did. I'm glad Spike found some peace when he was detriggered. I might have had a few more real concerns about this were I in his shoes.

I love Spike's reactions to Wood after he comes out of it. He was a vampire, she was a Slayer, that's how the game was played. Wood is outraged he calls it a game, but it's not like Nikki wasn't trying to kill him. Even if Spike decided to let up and NOT kill her, her "mission" is still to kill him. That's how it works.

Andrew talking about the guy on the phone from L.A. named Fred sounding kind of effeminate was the show crossing over with Angel the best it could to bring Faith back. It's lucky it works at all considering the show aired on different networks at this point.

One of the fundamental difference between Souled Spike and Souled Angel is that Spike does not feel the same level of guilt Angel does. And for good reason. None of the evil things Spike ever did were personal. He never overthought the horrible things he did. At least until Buffy came along. For Angelus, he made torture, murder, and cruelty an art form. Angel feels guilt because he MEANT every horrible thing he did as Angelus. Spike does not have that burden. And his perspective that that's how the game is played is WHY he and Angel are so different once they've gotten their souls back. Spike now recognizes the demon as a separate entity. Angel never can because he enjoyed it too much. And I find crap like that endlessly fascinating, and thinking about and debating that stuff is why I love the franchise. Season 5 of Angel had plenty of problems, but the Spike and Angel dynamic certainly breathed new life into that show for exploring those exact themes.

I mentioned the episode was part of the reason the season failed. Buffy says things to both Giles and Robin at the end of the episode that she should not be saying. She mentions in the episode how tight they are on allies and that they need Spike. The reason neither Giles nor Robin defend her when the others kick her out of the house later on is because she washes her hands of them here. I hate that in the final season instead of building alliances and showing why Buffy is a unique and amazing hero for doing that, the show has her blowing up her personal relationships at the precise time she can't afford to. Why does the show decide to have her alienate everyone in her life? The season doesn't need it, and is worse for it, and I'm arguing it ruined it. It drives me absolutely bonkers. If it were good drama, maybe I'd get it. But I can't think of a single fan who wasn't pissed off by stuff like that. Even for people who otherwise liked the season. It's insane.

My theory of two bad episodes in a row potentially wrecking a great series permanently stands. But Buffy had a GREAT opportunity to make a liar out of me, and bungled it for inexplicable reasons that no credible show would be making in the final damn season for their hero. So far, my theory holds up, even 20 years later. But Buffy was unique in that if if had done things even SLIGHTLY differently, it would have proved me wrong. And who doesn't WANT to do that? Doesn't that sound fun and amazing? Try it! You'll like it!

Great episode though, right? *****.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Dirty Girls"

Eyes Wide Open. That's what this latest rewatch is about.

Xander's dream sequence at the beginning is purely repulsive. And they are dumb enough to put that in the episode where he gives that amazing speech, AND where Caleb half-blinds him. The unforced errors of the season are maddening.

Let's talk about Caleb. The fact that he's a violent, woman hating misogynist I'm sure felt to Joss Whedon thematically right as Buffy's Ultimate Villain. But man, those facets strike me as lazy storytelling, and an easy way to automatically get me to hate the character. Here is another thing people will NOT want to hear. But one of the amazing things about Caleb back in the day was seeing Nathan Fillion play completely against type as him. In hindsight, and considering what Fillion has been accused of on the set of Castle, IS he playing against type? Mal Reynolds is also a violent misogynist. But Mal doesn't just call strange girls he's just met whores. He repeatedly calls his love interest on the series that! Is Caleb actually Fillion playing against type? I will argue that as far as dirtbag creeps go, Caleb and Mal are only a matter of degree.

One of the reasons the episode DID impress me back in the day is it properly raised the stakes right back up to where they should be. The next two episodes stumbled a little, but that foreboding tone from near the beginning of the arc of the season is briefly back. Just what happens to Xander is purely horrific.

I love that when Kennedy refers to the evil vineyard, Spike says "Like Falcon Crest." Awesome.

His flirtations with Faith were funny too, especially with how unhappy Buffy seemed with it. "Oh, you HAVE been away."

I think the thing that bugs me most, is Buffy only committed to the terrible plan because she was mad at Giles. She basically got those girls killed out of spite and nothing else. Is it any wonder they all turned on her in the next episode? This whole thing just strikes me as utterly unnecessary.

20 years ago I would have given that an easy five stars. It makes me a little uncomfortable now. The words spoken by Caleb do not actually NEED to be spoken for a villain to be effective and evil. I feel like the ugliness voiced is giving a toxic perspective that is real and actually exists a platform it shouldn't have, whether Buffy kicks his ass later on or not. I'm resisting the powerful message a little here when I was wowed back in the day instead. ****.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Empty Places"

With the exception of Buffy telling Faith at the end to lead the other Potentials, Buffy does absolutely nothing right in the episode.

That infuriates me.

I used to drag on Supergirl and The Flash and other similar genre shows for their heroes being just as dumb in their final seasons as they were their first. At least Supergirl and The Flash routinely trafficked in easy to digest toddler morals. It's partly why The Arrowverse disgusts me, but the characters being that dumb is on-brand.

Regardless of the fact that I certainly did not enjoy Buffy The Vampire Slayer as much as I used to this time out, for the most part, even when it gets it wrong, I don't see it as a stupid show. So Buffy failing everything with three episodes to go is simply inexplicable.

She can't stay and comfort Xander at the hospital. She barely asks how he's doing. She treats Giles with contempt and Wood with barely concealed contempt. Faith's idea to go to the Bronze to bond with the girls was actually a good one and it's not her fault the cops were murderous. And the truth is Buffy's plan sucked. Spike gloatingly tells her in the next episode she was right, but that is coincidental. She had absolutely no proof. She was not brooking any dissent or taking anybody else's feelings into account. This is a person we've spent seven seasons with. Having her be this clueless, arrogant, and ignorant right before the show ends is the worst look possible. I adored Anya's speech about Buffy being luckier than the rest of them. Anya clearly hasn't forgiven Buffy for trying to kill her. And maybe she shouldn't. Maybe THAT plan wasn't actually well-thought out either.

I'll tell you what bugs me. All of the other characters against Buffy have legit grievances. Rona, the black Potential is simply portrayed as a b-word. They don't have to kill Rona off to make her into a racist genre trope. They can just have her be stupid and wrong all the time instead. And if Mutant Enemy considers that a "victory", that's why IStandWithRayFisher.

Andrew being bad cop is supposed to be a joke, but I did take pleasant note how empathetic Spike was when questioning the monk. The whole thing with the blooming onions was great too.

Good final scene for Clem. Not all Buffy characters were granted that (sneers in Amy's direction).

Robin and Faith very much have a MeetCute here.

Willow starting to cry and Xander telling her not to was played perfectly by both actors. I believed these two people love each other very much.

I also love Xander saying he's trying to see Buffy's perspective but he guesses it's a little to his left.

If this were a worse show, I could almost accept the main hero never having learned a single thing over the course of the entire series with three episode to go. It's Buffy The Vampire Slayer instead, one of my favorite shows back in the day, and one of the most beloved and celebrated shows of all time. I'm like "How dare they?" instead. **1/2.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Touched"

The Scythe from Fray! Neat!

As tender as Buffy and Spike were, I appreciate the series showed her feelings were complicated. She flinched when he touched her face, and seems a little uneasy when she wakes up in his arms. Whatever this is, it's not easy. Regardless of how beautiful Spike's words are.

I have always wondered what Buffy made of the differences between Spike and Angel with and without their souls. With and without his soul Spike was always about either obsessing about Buffy or caring for her. If it were me, that would raise serious questions and anger about Angel and Angelus. And if the demon and the person ARE entirely different, why would souled Spike give a CRAP about Buffy? The comparisons this makes to Angel / Aneglus are entirely unflattering. And again, I love the franchise for making me wonder about things like that.

Mayor Wilkins playing some good head games as the First. I missed the dude. I love that he and Faith read Little Women together.

Buffy's plan to simply not let Caleb touch her was a good one. Also, this seemed better for a one-person mission, so maybe it was better the entire gang didn't come along after all.

Buffy's plan may have sucked the last episode, but the group's plan to kick her out seems equally ill-conceived. NOBODY ever thought Spike would have a problem with it? On some level I feel rage that Buffy basically made all of her friends feel like crap. But she did the same to Spike, and he was the only one still standing by her. Rona is outraged that Buffy cares so much about Spike. But when she told Giles Spike was the only one who had her back, it turns out she was right after all.

Faith would be sexually compatible with Angel. They are both cold-hearted monsters the next day.

Ugh. The r-word. I sometimes hate this show.

I loved Andrew's reaction to Giles slitting the Bringer's throat. Good comedy there. But the Bringers are human and Team Scooby are ALWAYS killing them. Anyone else seeing the disconnect there?

I love Caleb telling the First to stop looking like Buffy because while he was fighting the real her, it was confusing. That boy isn't especially smart.

Great cliffhanger. I look forward to the resolution for reasons I will discuss in the next review. ***1/2.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "End Of Days"

How does Buffy gain back the Potentials' trust? By slaying three Ubervamps in front of them with the Fray Scythe. That'll do it. I love it that she tells them they weren't be punished and Faith's mistake could have happened with anyone. That is the right message.

Shirty is a real expression by the way.

The First is using uncouth language but Spike is right to be furious at the end. Buffy REALLY shouldn't be kissing Angel. Spike told her it was the best night of his life. Why is she doing that?

Anya and Andrew's scenes were delightful (if cringe in a few places). Buffy is a weird show because the scene ends on a "wheelchair fight" and it feels like the right stopping point.

I love Buffy telling the Guardian her name, and the Guardian saying, "No, really?" There's a reason people make fun of the show for the name.

I love the bitterness of Faith saying the Scythe felt like hers, so she guesses that means it's Buffy's. There is real bad blood there that can't be fixed.

The Guardian is definitely a "Penultimate Episode" thing. Like the Scythe, she feels right to be introduced right near the series' end.

I mentioned I was gonna discuss the cliffhanger resolution. I watched this on Hulu and saw the explosion! For some inexplicable reason, Fox cut off ALL the recaps from all the Buffy and Angel DVD's. They went so far with this nonsensical idea that they accidentally cut out the damn explosion from the beginning of this episode because the idiotic people putting together the DVDs didn't realize it was an original scene! Some day I want an actual Buffyverse Complete Franchise Blu-Ray, totally remastered from the junk Fox crapped out on streaming with a recaps attached. I love finally seeing the explosion again years later. The makers of the DVD's ripped us off there or no damn good reason whatsoever. ****.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Chosen"

I remember loving this back in the day. Entertainment Weekly, which had practically turned into a Buffy fanzine at that point in time, gave it an ultra rare "A+". It hit all of the right emotional beats a series finale should hit. I'm wondering why I feel a little colder to it now.

Is it because some of the mistakes I notice now aren't actually forgivable if you think too hard on them?

I guess my first major complaint goes for the show Angel too. I think The X-Files might wind up having done the most damage to television in the 1990's and the aughts out of any TV show in history. I'm happy to say the terrible trends it started have receded a bit, but it definitely effected both finales of both Buffyverse shows.

See, because of The X-Files, shows stopped writing definitive series finales. They were someday gonna bring the characters back in movies, you see! Just like The X-Files! This plagued The Buffyverse, Alias, Heroes, and most genre shows of the era not named Battlestar Galactica. One of the reasons I always get cranky at people talking crap about Lost's finale is I'm like "At least we were actually granted a damn ending." You don't know how lucky you have it. And it's like, yeah the final Apocalypse hinted in the first issue of Fray is pushed off, probably because Angel is still on the air. Part of me questioned the wisdom of Angel: The Series to begin with. Not just for splitting up the show's actual 'ship. But I worried that Angel would last longer than this show, and the franchise wouldn't give us a definite ending. The stinger is Angel did the same damn thing! All because Joss Whedon has visions of the silver screen dancing in his head. The X-Files messed TV up good there.

And no, I don't blame Star Trek: Generations, at least not to that extent. Star Trek: The Next Generation actually GOT a great and definitive series finale, so it doesn't count as a show that hoarded its main mythology for movies that would never come.

That's one of the big gripes. The other is that the actual day is saved not just by Spike, but by Spike using the MacGuffin Angel brought over from his series. Spike claims before he dies she beat them back and his job is the clean-up. No. No. His job is to kill ALL the Ubervamps and destroy the Hellmouth thereby making the Slayers' battle irrelevant. I LOVED the empowering message of Buffy's "Are you ready to be strong?" speech. The girl smiling at the bat, the heavyset girl defending herself against being struck by her stepfather. These are all very empowering ideas. But the reason Whedon always calls himself a feminist and is not is because he made Spike the actual guy who saved the day and stopped the actual threat. It bothered me then a little, but knowing what I know about Whedon NOW, it bothers me now a LOT.

I also object to Xander, Dawn, and Anya slaying Ubervamps. I understand it's the finale, and Whedon wants an epic battle, but you can't promise the threat you made with that first Ubervamp by having them be able to be killed by the Scoobies with no powers. And it's not like there weren't Bringers for them to fight. It's just wrong.

In hindsight, I actually think the biggest mistake was Anya's death. Not that she died. That's good series finale drama. It's both the way she died (pointlessly) and the reason she died (to give Andrew's arc as a storyteller the proper ending). I don't give a CRAP about Andrew. If anything his death should be helping HER final arc about caring about humans, not the other way around. And with her and (supposedly Spike) dying the happy ending Whedon is trying to go for in the final shot, actually isn't.

That's about it for the complaints. And note that list is not just long, but those are serious-ass faults, and not just petty gripes. What I will say is that the episode did a TON right.

Wood surviving was great, as was him saying "Surprise." He's a Black dude in genre. Him surviving IS a pleasant surprise. I love him telling Faith he's so much prettier than she is. It's funny because it's true.

Spike's effigy of Angel on the punching bag was awesome. That feels like the mostly purely Spike thing the character has been permitted to do this season.

I love Spike waking up yelling about drowning in footwear.

The next thing is both good and bad. When Spike is all "I can feel my soul!" he's totally Data from Star Trek in that moment. What I don't like is when Buffy tells him she loves him, he says she doesn't and thanks her for saying it anyways. Why did Whedon have to do that? I believed her when she said that. And there are many ways to love a person. Buffy does not need to be giving a romantic commitment by telling Spike she loves him. She might actually be speaking the truth and I'm annoyed Whedon couldn't give her that.

I love the early act break where Buffy realizes they are going to win. It's unusual for sure, and that's why I like it.

The Original Four Scoobies making plans for what to do the next day. The world is definitely doomed.

I think the cookie dough metaphors is claptrap, and the kind of cutesy cloying thing Whedon always does. But the way Sarah Michelle Gellar delivers it is right. And I think she's also right about Spike. He's not her boyfriend. But he's in her heart.

Angel being jealous about Spike having a soul is funny, but in hindsight I think because Angel doesn't know how and WHY Spike got his soul back, he should NOT be making comparisons to himself. He was cursed with his soul. Spike earned his. He should not be bringing up the comparison while it is so utterly unflattering to himself.

I love "I want you to get out of my face!". It works on multiple levels.

In hindsight I'm not crazy about Willow The White. I guess partly because the awful comics retconned it, and partly because really it's not any sort of twist or surprise. It certainly never shocked me over the air. I don't penalize shows for being predictable. But when they do a predictable thing, and shoot and board the moment as if it's revelatory instead, I'mma call b.s.. I'm allowed to do that for THAT at least.

There's another Hellmouth in Cleveland. This also confirms the idea of WHY Buffy went to Cleveland in the alternate universe episode "The Wish".

The Welcome To Sunnydale Sign falling into the pit was such a perfect comedic moment I cribbed it verbatim (including the exact wording of the sign) for one of the last issues of Gilda And Meek. The bit doesn't actually make sense in the Gilda And Meek story itself, but it's funny and recognizable for Buffy fans.

The visual effects in the episode aren't actually feature quality, but Whedon DID use newer technology used for other big budget films of the era to generate the horde of thousands of Ubervamps.

I love the moment of Buffy and Spike walking towards each other in the basement, and I think the scene cutting to the next day is awesome, because the viewer is being granted a kindness. We are allowed to fill in the blanks of what happened next. Maybe they spent another night in each other's arms. Maybe they had sex. Maybe they got into a fight. Every single person who had a differing opinion on the polarizing Spuffy 'ship was given a moment to imagine it ended the correct way in their own minds, without that ever being contradicted in a later episode or project. That's genius. And the fact that it was a deliberate choice shows that for whatever his faults, Joss Whedon had a value as a storyteller. I just wish he weren't such a creep.

It felt like an amazing and satisfying finale. But if you peel aside the layers and sit with it for a couple of decades, it's no longer adequate for a show of Buffy's caliber. This entire thing is the fault of the damn X-Files. That showed ruined television. Thank God, not permanently. But for at least the ensuing 10-15 years following the first movie. SO much great television gave us crappy finales. BECAUSE of The X-Files. I don't say "Damn you, Joss Whedon!" for being unsatisfied by Buffy and Angel's endings. I say "Damn you, Chris Carter!" This mess is entirely his fault. ****.




Bob's Burgers "Mission Impossi-Bob"

The timing of the line delivery felt very naturalistic and "right" this episode. Comedic line timing is hard. But the stuff with Teddy and Bob on the phone in the first half landed perfectly. Not an easy task.

I thought Bob using the sheet metal to hide behind a second panel was clever.

I thought the beefhemoth was dumb.

Weird math problem at the beginning.

I like how the song and the aftershave tied into how Bob found Teddy.

Good concept, strong execution, well-timed dialogue. Solid episode all around. ****.




The Great North "Bad Speecher Adventure"

That was awful No exaggeration. It also reminded me why I actually hate Moon. 0.




Night Court "The Roz Affair"

So Neil is gone for good, which is good. He sucked.

I like that Roz is a lesbian. I believe it fits. I don't think we saw the character in a romance on the old show.

Melissa Rauch made me mega-cringe during her "flirting" scene. How does a person this unfunny have a career in comedy? It boggles the mind.

The show is just not good. But it's Roz, you know? And she's getting married. I'll live with it. ***.




End Of Watch by Stephen King

It's way better than "Mr. Mercedes" (the suicide hook is alarmingly narratively effective) but Brady Hartfield just sucks. All of those uses of the n-word are just so freaking unnecessary. And even though Tyrone Feelgood only says one line, that's one line too many. It's annoying Holly has to be the one to tell Jerome it's ignorant.

I wonder if the book has been criticized for bringing supernatural elements to the "Mr. Mercedes" saga. It doesn't fit perfectly, but it sure as hell fits better than the stuff from "The Outsider".

I love that Bill kisses Holly Gibney on the lips. I was shocked at how poorly their friendship was handled in "Mr. Mercedes" and this book does it completely right. It also does right by Holly and Jerome too. That matters to me. Maybe it's because I remember how well this book handled all that which is why I was unhappy with "Mr. Mercedes" to begin with.

King Connections: Sequel to "Mr. Mercedes" and "Finders Keepers" and Holly Gibney appears in future books. Also Inside View.

I love that King gives the suicide prevention number at the end of the book. It's a serious and heavy subject matter and King doesn't always treat serious and heavy subjects as such. A really good ending to The Bill Hodges Trilogy. ****.




Gwendy's Button Box by Stephen King and Richard Chizmar

I've always really liked this novella not just because Gwendy is a likable heroine, and because it's brimming with King Connections, but because the ethical scenario posited is so interesting and would make a good question for the Game of Scruples.

That being said the ending underwhelms a bit, but both Chizmar and King return with two more books (the next written by Chizmar solo) to wrap things up more satisfactorily. Knowing that it's not actually the one-off it was originally intended to be, and now just "Part One" is pretty cool.

King Connections: Castle Rock. George Bannerman is from "The Dead Zone" and "Cujo". There are some subtle references to The Dark Tower in many of the things Richard Farris says and does. Richard Farris is an R.F. but as seen in the final book, he actually works for The White. We'll talk about that more when we get to "Gwendy's Final Task".

A good, quick read. And solid too. ****.