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matt_zimmerAlso reviews for the latest episode of My Adventures With Superman, the 3 episode season premiere of Harley Quinn, and the latest episodes of Teen Titans Go!.
Justice League: Warworld
During the first ten or fifteen minutes I thought there was a good chance I would be giving this a positive review. But that turned into a slow-motion trainwreck. I'm a little appalled. Simply because there was no need for this movie to be as bad as it was. It chose to be. For reasons I don't get and I don't want to get.
So this will NOT be a positive review, despite me responding well to the Western atmosphere at the beginning that was mostly dialogue-free and effectively used animation, sound, and music to convey both the mood and what was happening. If the whole movie had been like that, we wouldn't be in this mess. What this WILL be is a relatively in-depth review for these DC Universe movies, which I don't usually care enough about either way to do a thorough deconstruction. But what the hell was that?
Let's talk about the cliffhanger ending. They're still doing Crisis?! Even though Kevin Conroy is dead?! What is the freaking point then?! That pisses me off like nothing else. I really hate Warner Bros Animation and DC Comics, and this was BEFORE Zaslav took over. The unmitigated GALL of this studio to rarely hire their best Batman, and outside of Justice League Action, only put him in inferior productions, and then they do this? I am furious. What a giant middle finger to Conroy's amazing career these past few years have been. And to do Crisis without him is the final kick in the pants. I am furious. I am appalled. I am sickened.
Let me a settle a bit. There was a ton of bad stuff in the movie and I don't want me feeling offense on Conroy's behalf to make me neglect them. This movie has EARNED my bad review, and damn it, I intend to give it everything it deserves there. I want to itemize every last way this movie sucked, and failed the premise, the characters, and the viewers. I say viewers, because I don't see eye to eye with the fans, and for all I know they liked it. But for average viewers who barely know about this stuff, or at least closer to me, barely care about it, I speak on behalf of the DC layman: That was bad. That was annoying.
Maybe I am not giving fans enough credit and people will be gunning for me about this review. Maybe y'all hated it as much as it deserved to be. Maybe. But the biggest thing I recall about fans and this movie line was seeing a ComicCon panel on one of the Blu-Rays for one of these things a few years ago, and the guy in charge of DC movies, I think it was James Tucker at the time, asked the audience if they preferred R-rated animated films to PG-13 ones. And damn them, those braying hyenas in the convention center hooted like the classiest studio audience for Married.. With Children or Jerry Springer that ever existed. As of the time of that panel, Batman: Soul Of The Dragon, had not been made yet. But I thought of all R-rated Western animation from the 1970's to the present starting with Ralph Bakshi, and I can safely say until Soul Of The Dragon hit there had never been a SINGLE great R-rated animated film. All of them, ALL of them had been smut-filled edgelord "Look what we can get away with" desperate affairs with nary a decent script among them. You want to throw the South Park movie at me? Maybe. But like everything else South Park, it's much less pleasant to view in hindsight than it was at the time it was made. Hell, even if I give you the idea that South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut was at least a GOOD movie, I will still say it and Soul Of The Dragon remain the only two R rated animated films that earned THAT specific designation too. Those ComicCon fans squealing and giggling at the possibility of future uncovered sideboob nipples and f-bombs is simply put, why I am not a superhero comic fan and never will be. I value entirely different things from that fandom. And if you want to call me out on this, fine. Whatever. Crap like this movie is constant and I'm sick and tired of having to hold my tongue from suggesting the actual thing currently in my darkest thoughts: Maybe it's the entire premise that is the problem. Maybe the first three Phases of the MCU movies and the DC Animated Universe being awesome are the actual unusual projects, and the outliers. Maybe the truth is, the genre mostly lends itself to crap. I would love to believe otherwise, because on a personal level, I love you guys very much. I learn SO much from you guys and I appreciated every single point you've made, even the ones I disagree with. I just think you deserve better and I think you ought to start recognizing this about yourself.
Do you know what kills me? There are a LOT of great superhero comics out there. But they aren't the ones that start reboots and events and get amazing sales. I have read a superhero comic or two that proudly lives up to the premise and potential, and I recognize there are probably at least a THOUSAND issues that is true for that I have not yet read. But really tie-in projects like these should get people who can take or leave DC Comics INTO the actual comics. And if this is the best way they can sell them, I wonder if it's the actual premise that's the problem. This should NOT be the ordeal it is.
How hard would it be for somebody to write a decent script for a Batman film? If Mask Of The Phantasm's exact script had been made in 1989 instead of the lousy Tim Burton crap, Warner Bros would have made five times the box office they got. It probably would have surpassed Star Wars, and E.T. as the high grossing film of all time. And it's like freaking pulling teeth here. Plenty of Batman writers write (or at least used to) write a decent Batman script for the comics once a freaking month! And you're telling me this movie is best we can do? It's insane.
Was it necessary to make Batman a completely amoral, selfish, money-grubbing, murderous sociopath upon losing his memories? How does that help the franchise? How does that win over new fans? DC is REALLY bad at this. When it comes to stuff like this and Titans it's pretty much unbelievable what I actually have to complain about. "Don't make Batman an amoral sociopath only interested in money" should NOT be the note I need to pin to any given DC writer's snowpants so they don't forget. That is self-evident and should go without freaking saying. What is WRONG with the writers, here?
About that R-Rating. I think it was deserved, and paradoxically, 100% unnecessary at the exact same time. This entire movie could have been told with a nearly identical script that doesn't purposefully alienate every potential kid in the audience. R rated Justice League animated films? Is Warner insane? They couldn't even get people to see an R rated Harley Quinn or Suicide Squad movie and they think people are fine with doing this to Batman and Superman? What the hell?
What's especially infuriating to me, is that as fast as loose as DC plays it with the integrity of the characters and premises, it's entirely situational, and all of the Edgelord crap they pull comes from a point of weakness and timidity. They would not have nixed an oral sex scene between Batman and Catwoman on Harley Quinn if they actually HAD the artistic freedom principles they claimed to be championing with this gross stuff. "We can't show that! Kids buy action figures of Batman!" Yeah? Then maybe realize what your actual target audience is before making a raunchy R-rated comedy with blood-spattering violence and Joker and Harley dropping f-bombs. I wound up LOVING Harley Quinn. But the choices DC made to first present the show made it an extremely difficult show for me to love, and it took time, and was a process of growth to get there. And part of me is convinced that R rated Batman adjacent cartoons just shouldn't exist. I'll make the Harley Quinn exemption to this belief now. I wouldn't have two seasons ago.
If I want to be completely honest (and I try to be in my reviews) I will concede it's possible this film might be of a higher quality than another film in this line I previously gave a positive review for. And if you want to call me out for THAT too, that's fair. But I like the fact that I have higher standards now, and I won't apologize for them. This movie is dreadful. *.
My Adventures With Superman "You Will Believe A Man Can Lie"
That was some great pathos. I also want to compliment the voice acting on the show, particularly Lois' actress. They hit the beats of the betrayal and the hurt perfectly. And I love that Clark actually argues back against why he didn't tell her. And his reasons are good. But really, if she has to jump off a building to get the truth out of him, the reasons simply aren't good enough.
One of the things I loved most about She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power is that it had a bunch of unknown voice actors in all the major roles, and they hit the beats as perfectly or better than any celebrity they could cast. And I feel that way about Lois' actress too, although I could be wrong, and I just don't recognize her from anywhere else. The animation industry is in dire straits based on how they treat creators, writers, and actors. But really, this is the only time in entertainment's history where you can get performances this amazing from people who work for scale. And the fact that it's so amazing is why actors deserve to be paid fairly for their work.
The General is obviously Sam Lane. He seems to have a bit more morality than Amanda Waller, but there is a definite cruel and evil streak to this version of the character. If it is him, I understand why he and Lois are estranged. He's a bad guy.
If Agent Wilson is Deathstroke like I think he is, I hate his costume and mask. And Deathstroke doesn't really possess the kind of powers that could be confused for Superman's either. But the fact that the dude had gray hair and the color scheme is orange and black says it's him.
Big Drama, and shocker of shockers, GOOD drama. It is not as hard as the rest of fiction makes it look. It especially lands as devastating and personal because we already like and care about the characters so much. Take note, other genre stuff. This is how a good guy betrayal in fiction is done right. It's literally the only example I can think of. ****1/2.
Harley Quinn "Gotham's Hottest Hotties"
The show is dark, perverted, and violent. It should not be as wonderful and enjoyable as it is. But Harley and Ivy are SO cute together, and it's just empowering what they are both doing in their opposite careers.
I love that Alfred hates Alvin. Let me be blunt. I do too. I think he's bad news.
I love that Robin is cool with the death. To be perfectly blunt so am I. Professor Pyg is one of those rare unsympathetic Batman rogues with no redeeming qualities. Something he shares with the Mad Hatter, who, surprise, surprise, Harley ALSO wound up killing.
Mysterious Woman is Talia. Bank on it. Mommy's coming home, Damian.
I like this show more than I would any other show with an identical premise and tone. Because unlike Titans, the tone is only horrible on the surface. The subtext to the ships and the characters weirdly make you feel GOOD. Which I love. ****1/2.
Harley Quinn "B.I.T.C.H."
So Alfred is more than a little bit insane. And more than a little bit stupid too.
I cannot get a bead on this Joker. He is literally unlike every other interpretation. That's good in a way, but usually when it comes to the Joker, I know where I stand. This guy makes me nervous because part of me actually likes him.
And yup, Talia. And yeah, it turns out she's the worst absentee mother possible.
Snitches get stiches in the Batfamily. Literally. Anyone tells you the idea of the Batfamily is morally sound and justified, here's your counterargument wrapped up in a bow.
I love even at the end, Ivy and Talia are relating to their frustrations over being powerful woman and the painful cliches they have to pretend to be okay with to get ahead. It feels very right to take that on.
As far as The Rule goes, if you don't hear a fish stuck to a board singing it first, it doesn't count. That's sort of how I've been living my life, and ALL of the voices there can't be wrong.
This show is nuts. In a good way. ****.
Harley Quinn "Icons Only"
That "Is this your card?" moment was like a PERFECT climax. Whatever problems you could ever have with the series, it had that moment, which says it has merit. Full stop.
I love that Harley and Ivy think the babies are ugly. You know what? They are. Totally.
Tiny Starro waiters? Funny.
I'm about to hand the show a BIG compliment. The last DC cartoon show able to pull together climaxes that worked so well was Justice League Unlimited. I'm not saying this show is as good as that. But this is the first episode of an animated DC show with a climax as tight as that. That's how long it's been.
That card trick moment made me say, "Wow, this show is special." *****.
Teen Titans Go! "Our House"
I love that the Chief randomly has a giant Starro trapped in one of the floors of his underground lab.
I also loved the fight between the mecha-house and Mallah's bulldozer. I love that the animators used the dozer's claws to make it look like it was running like an ape.
Funny. ***1/2.
Teen Titans Go! "Beard Hunter"
Some episodes of the show are stupid. Some are tiresome. Some are both. This was both.
I might have forgiven it if it was also funny, but no. Even learning this was an actual DC Comics character at the end wasn't actually funny. *.
Teen Titans Go! "Elasti-Bot"
It's amusing enough, but I somehow don't feel right about the Doom Patrol being portrayed as useless as the Teen Titans. Even in this continuity, I feel like the Titans' uselessness must remain singularly theirs and not actually a problem for other superheroes and teams in the Universe. Am I wrong for thinking that? Some cute comedy (much of it clearly designed after Richie Rich's crazy and easily corrupted robot maid) can't help me feeling this is feeling too much like the nonsense the Titans themselves would do. ***.
Teen Titans Go! "Negative Feels"
Can you believe it's been four episodes since we last saw the Teen Titans?
I never understood the celebrity casting of Rachel Dratch as Negative Girl. It would be one thing if ALL the Doom Patrol was voiced by celebrities or comedians, but despite Cree Summer and Larry Kenney being well-known voice-over vets, they aren't former SNL cast members or people who were on The King Of Queens like Dratch is (although Summer was on A Different World). After seeing what she did here, I see the point in casting her. She was cast a couple of seasons ago, and I'm not dumb enough to believe this was planned from way back then, but I will say I now think the exact right person was given the role.
No, you know what? I take that back. I also would have accepted Brooklyn Nine-Nine's Chelsea Peretti here. For the record.
Interesting episode. ***1/2.
Teen Titans Go! "New Chum"
Quick take: You know how THIS version of Robotman is inferior in every way to the live-action one from Doom Patrol? That's the same way this version of King Shark is inferior to the one on Harley Quinn. ***.
Justice League: Warworld
During the first ten or fifteen minutes I thought there was a good chance I would be giving this a positive review. But that turned into a slow-motion trainwreck. I'm a little appalled. Simply because there was no need for this movie to be as bad as it was. It chose to be. For reasons I don't get and I don't want to get.
So this will NOT be a positive review, despite me responding well to the Western atmosphere at the beginning that was mostly dialogue-free and effectively used animation, sound, and music to convey both the mood and what was happening. If the whole movie had been like that, we wouldn't be in this mess. What this WILL be is a relatively in-depth review for these DC Universe movies, which I don't usually care enough about either way to do a thorough deconstruction. But what the hell was that?
Let's talk about the cliffhanger ending. They're still doing Crisis?! Even though Kevin Conroy is dead?! What is the freaking point then?! That pisses me off like nothing else. I really hate Warner Bros Animation and DC Comics, and this was BEFORE Zaslav took over. The unmitigated GALL of this studio to rarely hire their best Batman, and outside of Justice League Action, only put him in inferior productions, and then they do this? I am furious. What a giant middle finger to Conroy's amazing career these past few years have been. And to do Crisis without him is the final kick in the pants. I am furious. I am appalled. I am sickened.
Let me a settle a bit. There was a ton of bad stuff in the movie and I don't want me feeling offense on Conroy's behalf to make me neglect them. This movie has EARNED my bad review, and damn it, I intend to give it everything it deserves there. I want to itemize every last way this movie sucked, and failed the premise, the characters, and the viewers. I say viewers, because I don't see eye to eye with the fans, and for all I know they liked it. But for average viewers who barely know about this stuff, or at least closer to me, barely care about it, I speak on behalf of the DC layman: That was bad. That was annoying.
Maybe I am not giving fans enough credit and people will be gunning for me about this review. Maybe y'all hated it as much as it deserved to be. Maybe. But the biggest thing I recall about fans and this movie line was seeing a ComicCon panel on one of the Blu-Rays for one of these things a few years ago, and the guy in charge of DC movies, I think it was James Tucker at the time, asked the audience if they preferred R-rated animated films to PG-13 ones. And damn them, those braying hyenas in the convention center hooted like the classiest studio audience for Married.. With Children or Jerry Springer that ever existed. As of the time of that panel, Batman: Soul Of The Dragon, had not been made yet. But I thought of all R-rated Western animation from the 1970's to the present starting with Ralph Bakshi, and I can safely say until Soul Of The Dragon hit there had never been a SINGLE great R-rated animated film. All of them, ALL of them had been smut-filled edgelord "Look what we can get away with" desperate affairs with nary a decent script among them. You want to throw the South Park movie at me? Maybe. But like everything else South Park, it's much less pleasant to view in hindsight than it was at the time it was made. Hell, even if I give you the idea that South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut was at least a GOOD movie, I will still say it and Soul Of The Dragon remain the only two R rated animated films that earned THAT specific designation too. Those ComicCon fans squealing and giggling at the possibility of future uncovered sideboob nipples and f-bombs is simply put, why I am not a superhero comic fan and never will be. I value entirely different things from that fandom. And if you want to call me out on this, fine. Whatever. Crap like this movie is constant and I'm sick and tired of having to hold my tongue from suggesting the actual thing currently in my darkest thoughts: Maybe it's the entire premise that is the problem. Maybe the first three Phases of the MCU movies and the DC Animated Universe being awesome are the actual unusual projects, and the outliers. Maybe the truth is, the genre mostly lends itself to crap. I would love to believe otherwise, because on a personal level, I love you guys very much. I learn SO much from you guys and I appreciated every single point you've made, even the ones I disagree with. I just think you deserve better and I think you ought to start recognizing this about yourself.
Do you know what kills me? There are a LOT of great superhero comics out there. But they aren't the ones that start reboots and events and get amazing sales. I have read a superhero comic or two that proudly lives up to the premise and potential, and I recognize there are probably at least a THOUSAND issues that is true for that I have not yet read. But really tie-in projects like these should get people who can take or leave DC Comics INTO the actual comics. And if this is the best way they can sell them, I wonder if it's the actual premise that's the problem. This should NOT be the ordeal it is.
How hard would it be for somebody to write a decent script for a Batman film? If Mask Of The Phantasm's exact script had been made in 1989 instead of the lousy Tim Burton crap, Warner Bros would have made five times the box office they got. It probably would have surpassed Star Wars, and E.T. as the high grossing film of all time. And it's like freaking pulling teeth here. Plenty of Batman writers write (or at least used to) write a decent Batman script for the comics once a freaking month! And you're telling me this movie is best we can do? It's insane.
Was it necessary to make Batman a completely amoral, selfish, money-grubbing, murderous sociopath upon losing his memories? How does that help the franchise? How does that win over new fans? DC is REALLY bad at this. When it comes to stuff like this and Titans it's pretty much unbelievable what I actually have to complain about. "Don't make Batman an amoral sociopath only interested in money" should NOT be the note I need to pin to any given DC writer's snowpants so they don't forget. That is self-evident and should go without freaking saying. What is WRONG with the writers, here?
About that R-Rating. I think it was deserved, and paradoxically, 100% unnecessary at the exact same time. This entire movie could have been told with a nearly identical script that doesn't purposefully alienate every potential kid in the audience. R rated Justice League animated films? Is Warner insane? They couldn't even get people to see an R rated Harley Quinn or Suicide Squad movie and they think people are fine with doing this to Batman and Superman? What the hell?
What's especially infuriating to me, is that as fast as loose as DC plays it with the integrity of the characters and premises, it's entirely situational, and all of the Edgelord crap they pull comes from a point of weakness and timidity. They would not have nixed an oral sex scene between Batman and Catwoman on Harley Quinn if they actually HAD the artistic freedom principles they claimed to be championing with this gross stuff. "We can't show that! Kids buy action figures of Batman!" Yeah? Then maybe realize what your actual target audience is before making a raunchy R-rated comedy with blood-spattering violence and Joker and Harley dropping f-bombs. I wound up LOVING Harley Quinn. But the choices DC made to first present the show made it an extremely difficult show for me to love, and it took time, and was a process of growth to get there. And part of me is convinced that R rated Batman adjacent cartoons just shouldn't exist. I'll make the Harley Quinn exemption to this belief now. I wouldn't have two seasons ago.
If I want to be completely honest (and I try to be in my reviews) I will concede it's possible this film might be of a higher quality than another film in this line I previously gave a positive review for. And if you want to call me out for THAT too, that's fair. But I like the fact that I have higher standards now, and I won't apologize for them. This movie is dreadful. *.
My Adventures With Superman "You Will Believe A Man Can Lie"
That was some great pathos. I also want to compliment the voice acting on the show, particularly Lois' actress. They hit the beats of the betrayal and the hurt perfectly. And I love that Clark actually argues back against why he didn't tell her. And his reasons are good. But really, if she has to jump off a building to get the truth out of him, the reasons simply aren't good enough.
One of the things I loved most about She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power is that it had a bunch of unknown voice actors in all the major roles, and they hit the beats as perfectly or better than any celebrity they could cast. And I feel that way about Lois' actress too, although I could be wrong, and I just don't recognize her from anywhere else. The animation industry is in dire straits based on how they treat creators, writers, and actors. But really, this is the only time in entertainment's history where you can get performances this amazing from people who work for scale. And the fact that it's so amazing is why actors deserve to be paid fairly for their work.
The General is obviously Sam Lane. He seems to have a bit more morality than Amanda Waller, but there is a definite cruel and evil streak to this version of the character. If it is him, I understand why he and Lois are estranged. He's a bad guy.
If Agent Wilson is Deathstroke like I think he is, I hate his costume and mask. And Deathstroke doesn't really possess the kind of powers that could be confused for Superman's either. But the fact that the dude had gray hair and the color scheme is orange and black says it's him.
Big Drama, and shocker of shockers, GOOD drama. It is not as hard as the rest of fiction makes it look. It especially lands as devastating and personal because we already like and care about the characters so much. Take note, other genre stuff. This is how a good guy betrayal in fiction is done right. It's literally the only example I can think of. ****1/2.
Harley Quinn "Gotham's Hottest Hotties"
The show is dark, perverted, and violent. It should not be as wonderful and enjoyable as it is. But Harley and Ivy are SO cute together, and it's just empowering what they are both doing in their opposite careers.
I love that Alfred hates Alvin. Let me be blunt. I do too. I think he's bad news.
I love that Robin is cool with the death. To be perfectly blunt so am I. Professor Pyg is one of those rare unsympathetic Batman rogues with no redeeming qualities. Something he shares with the Mad Hatter, who, surprise, surprise, Harley ALSO wound up killing.
Mysterious Woman is Talia. Bank on it. Mommy's coming home, Damian.
I like this show more than I would any other show with an identical premise and tone. Because unlike Titans, the tone is only horrible on the surface. The subtext to the ships and the characters weirdly make you feel GOOD. Which I love. ****1/2.
Harley Quinn "B.I.T.C.H."
So Alfred is more than a little bit insane. And more than a little bit stupid too.
I cannot get a bead on this Joker. He is literally unlike every other interpretation. That's good in a way, but usually when it comes to the Joker, I know where I stand. This guy makes me nervous because part of me actually likes him.
And yup, Talia. And yeah, it turns out she's the worst absentee mother possible.
Snitches get stiches in the Batfamily. Literally. Anyone tells you the idea of the Batfamily is morally sound and justified, here's your counterargument wrapped up in a bow.
I love even at the end, Ivy and Talia are relating to their frustrations over being powerful woman and the painful cliches they have to pretend to be okay with to get ahead. It feels very right to take that on.
As far as The Rule goes, if you don't hear a fish stuck to a board singing it first, it doesn't count. That's sort of how I've been living my life, and ALL of the voices there can't be wrong.
This show is nuts. In a good way. ****.
Harley Quinn "Icons Only"
That "Is this your card?" moment was like a PERFECT climax. Whatever problems you could ever have with the series, it had that moment, which says it has merit. Full stop.
I love that Harley and Ivy think the babies are ugly. You know what? They are. Totally.
Tiny Starro waiters? Funny.
I'm about to hand the show a BIG compliment. The last DC cartoon show able to pull together climaxes that worked so well was Justice League Unlimited. I'm not saying this show is as good as that. But this is the first episode of an animated DC show with a climax as tight as that. That's how long it's been.
That card trick moment made me say, "Wow, this show is special." *****.
Teen Titans Go! "Our House"
I love that the Chief randomly has a giant Starro trapped in one of the floors of his underground lab.
I also loved the fight between the mecha-house and Mallah's bulldozer. I love that the animators used the dozer's claws to make it look like it was running like an ape.
Funny. ***1/2.
Teen Titans Go! "Beard Hunter"
Some episodes of the show are stupid. Some are tiresome. Some are both. This was both.
I might have forgiven it if it was also funny, but no. Even learning this was an actual DC Comics character at the end wasn't actually funny. *.
Teen Titans Go! "Elasti-Bot"
It's amusing enough, but I somehow don't feel right about the Doom Patrol being portrayed as useless as the Teen Titans. Even in this continuity, I feel like the Titans' uselessness must remain singularly theirs and not actually a problem for other superheroes and teams in the Universe. Am I wrong for thinking that? Some cute comedy (much of it clearly designed after Richie Rich's crazy and easily corrupted robot maid) can't help me feeling this is feeling too much like the nonsense the Titans themselves would do. ***.
Teen Titans Go! "Negative Feels"
Can you believe it's been four episodes since we last saw the Teen Titans?
I never understood the celebrity casting of Rachel Dratch as Negative Girl. It would be one thing if ALL the Doom Patrol was voiced by celebrities or comedians, but despite Cree Summer and Larry Kenney being well-known voice-over vets, they aren't former SNL cast members or people who were on The King Of Queens like Dratch is (although Summer was on A Different World). After seeing what she did here, I see the point in casting her. She was cast a couple of seasons ago, and I'm not dumb enough to believe this was planned from way back then, but I will say I now think the exact right person was given the role.
No, you know what? I take that back. I also would have accepted Brooklyn Nine-Nine's Chelsea Peretti here. For the record.
Interesting episode. ***1/2.
Teen Titans Go! "New Chum"
Quick take: You know how THIS version of Robotman is inferior in every way to the live-action one from Doom Patrol? That's the same way this version of King Shark is inferior to the one on Harley Quinn. ***.
