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matt_zimmerAlso reviews for the latest episodes of Star Trek: Picard, Star Wars: The Bad Batch, Spidey And His Amazing Friends, The Flash, The Simpsons, The Great North, Bob's Burgers, Family Guy, Night Court, Law & Order, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, and Law & Order: Organized Crime, and the novel Insomnia. Warning: I WILL be talking about the major plot twists at the end of the final Dark Tower book, so stay away from the Insomnia review if you haven't ascended the Tower yet.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 1"
Previously On:
So the credits listed the recap as a separate cartoon, so I need to review it. But it's a freaking recap, new spit-take animation or not. **1/2.
Season Three And WB: Part 1:
Maybe not do movie parodies to escape if the new guard ran the studio in question and saw all the movies.
True note: The Dark Knight Rises is worse than The Dark Knight in every nearly respect. But it DID have the more memorable set-piece. Doesn't stop it from sucking, but it was a true observation from Yakko.
Meatball Man felt too far outside the franchise. And since I didn't like the original show too much, I don't tend to mind that. But when it gets TOO far outside it, it's noticeable, and noticing things like that makes the viewing experience worse. It's not bad per se, but the fact that it feels "wrong" makes my enjoyment less anyways. Does that make sense? ***1/2.
How To Friendship:
The Pinky the Brain cartoons on the relaunch are really getting in the psychological underpinnings of the codependent relationship between Brain and Pinky. It's such a conundrum that Pinky ruins everything Brain tries to do, and for some reason Brain still can't function without him.
I could be wrong, but I think Maurice La Marche played the catch-phrase at the end entirely differently for the first time ever. I don't recall him using this specific tone before. Usually when Brain does the "The same thing we do every night, Pinky" he's sort of low-key sinister followed by ambition and falsely earned triumph. Here, his voice has a measure of disgust in it. The undertone is, "How many times do I have to say this, and when are you going to stop asking me the same damn question?" That was an interesting thing, for sure. ***1/2.
Season Three And WB: Part 2:
I could be wrong, but this hit me wrong tonally too. I don't like that it turns out Nora actually beat the Warners last episode. They had to beg her for mercy, and it turns out it wasn't a con on their end, they truly cut a deal with her and held up to it.
Yeah, that's... new. But it's totally outside of the premise. The Warners are always supposed to win against their antagonists. That's the whole bit of the show. I understand Bugs Bunny lost to Cecile Turtle on occasion, but Bugs Bunny was not a franchise that had been around for nearly 30 years when Bob Clampett was messing around with the tropes. Again, this felt wrong to me. Am I crazy for thinking that? **1/2.
Episode Overall: ***.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 2"
Soda-Pressed:
Before I review the cartoon, I will offer a brief opinion of Jojo Siwa. She is one of those celebrities that absolutely makes my skin crawl. She dresses like Punky Brewster, and no lie, has a voice like Baby Huey. Everything she says and does project utter stupidity and vapidity. I'm not saying my generation didn't love stupid things. But I am hard pressed to think of a thing as obviously stupid and repulsive as Jojo Siwa gaining a huge amount of screaming fans. To me, it's obscene.
So I was looking forward to a cartoon taking shots at a stand-in for her. But it's a toothless parody instead, throwing her undeserved sympathy for supposedly not being allowed to be a kid. That annoyed me, but whatever. But the episode can't even stick that landing and makes her a psycho at the end. So what's the point of the cartoon anyways? What's the message? What is its stance?
What it is, is an utter mess in both premise and execution. *.
A Starbox Is Born:
I think they aged up Cindy so they wouldn't have to change her voice actress.
And yeah, I always love that these shorts use different animation. ***1/2.
Royal Flush:
Talking about how the stand-in for Megan Markle's horse farm resides on stolen Aboriginal land raises a HELL of a lot more political questions for me than the cutesy idea that gosh, I don't understand WHY this woman of color could possibly feel like an outsider in aristocracy / monarchy. People give Megan Markle SO much crap. If that Aboriginal Lands thing is true, this is the first time I've seen anyone give her crap for a legit reason. But since I never heard of this before, I'm loathe to take it at face value. Sorry, I'm not just gonna take this show's word for it. I'll do some research later on, probably after this damn review has already been posted elsewhere. But it's sort of weird I've never heard of that.
Is Pinky actually in love with Brain? The cartoon is hinting at that, and I feel like maybe that's the show going a little too far with the fact that they like to make Pinky effeminate as a joke. I don't find that idea funny. Considering the way Brain treats him, if that were so, I'd find it tragic.
Also, why the hell did Brain randomly confess to being the paparazzo at the end? Are we sure it's Pinky who is the stupid one who always ruins everything? There was no reason, or even logical benefit to Brain doing that other than plot-related stupidity that would allow him to be "properly punished". And I am not a fan of that. Although the original show sure as hell did its share of it too.
I didn't like this cartoon either. *1/2.
Episode Overall: **.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 3"
Planet Warner:
Future seasons? Fat chance. The episode also basically admits the old episodes without Pinky And The Brain are inferior, but was clearly written and animated before anybody knew Hulu would take the original series off the service.
In fairness to the cartoon at hand, I like Hamster Hog Heron Boy. ***.
Talladega Mice: The Ballad Of Pinky Brainy:
See if I were Brain at the beginning I wouldn't be chastising Pinky for playing an anti-mouse game. I'd be praising him for actually getting the damn Mouse Trap toy to work. Does he have any idea how near-impossible this is? Seeing Brain max out Pinky's stress levels is also another clue that Pinky might be halfway competent if Brain didn't treat him like crap.
I love Brain's Christopher Lloyd and Morgan Freeman impressions. I also laughed at his panic at not knowing how to do Orson Welles. Right. Here's how you do Orson Welles, Brain: Sound like you are the cast member of Transformers: The Movie most embarrassed to be there and then you're all set.
Good cartoon. ***1/2.
DIWhy:
I like the fan art. I wonder what part of Wakko on it was big.
I will never tire of a character pointing out that money is an artificially agreed-upon, fictional construct. Yakko is my people.
Funny. ***1/2.
Episode Overall: ***1/2.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 4"
Fantasy Cold Open:
Not too many cartoons where the Warners and Pinky and the Brain interact. The opening animation style is neat. ***.
Uber Nachtmare:
You know what? I thought this was a little too mean. I DID like the mule who spoke like a New York cabbie though. **.
Mad Mouse: Furry Road:
Sorry, Dexter. There IS no season four. You are finished.
Still can't believe that's the same guy who voices Mickey Mouse. ***1/2.
Episode Overall: ***.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 5"
Teeniacs:
And yet, still not as dumb as Riverdale. ****1/2.
Dog Days:
Starbox And Cindy Arc? Why not? ***1/2.
Groundmouse Day:
Two-Parter? I love it.
Great Garfield slam.
I love when Pinky talks about something Furry, Brain's worried they're playing things a little too close to that side of the fandom. And people wonder why Minerva Mink has been entirely absent on the relaunch.
The Board Store is running out of that guy! Constanza exits room.
Thinky is a funny name, but truthfully there IS every possibility that Pinky is the genius and Brain is insane. Remind yourself what the textbook definition of insanity is and yeah, Brain's not looking so hot there.
So Stephen Tobolowsky played the DJ. If I ran the show, he'd have played Egwind.
Great stuff. *****.
Episode Overall: ****1/2.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 6"
Animaliens:
Not the timeliest parody, for sure. ***.
Murder Pals:
This Lassie / Flipper parody felt like the randomest trio of interstitials EVER. And then the title reveal at the end of the episode hits, and it's pretty much perfect comedy.
Take note: I think the TV-PG rating of the relaunch is bogus. And yet, I am well aware these dark Lassie and Flipper gags could NEVER be done on Fox Kids or Kids WB. And that title would certainly have to be changed as well.
I think this is brilliant. *****.
Groundmouse Day Again:
The original show did this a couple of times too. And it's sort of both important to show and depressing in equal measure. Brain taking over the world is not a pipe dream. It is possible. It's just that he's too incompetent to do it under normal circumstances.
Take this episode. If he hadn't blown his stack with Pinky at the end, and destroyed the proto time machine, he could have ridden a final loop, taken over the world, THEN destroyed the machine, and then he would be Master of the World for good. Maybe Brain isn't insane. But he sure as hell isn't a genius, and is probably stupid deep down.
My favorite bit in the cartoon was the DJ telling us Brain took over the world once simply by claiming he was the ruler and everybody just went with it. I think that's kind of how most people saw the Trump Presidency too. While we are taking shots at Brain's intelligence.
Pssst! Show! Hillary won Colorado! Hillary stand-in FAIL.
I liked it though. ****.
The Island Of Dr. Warneau:
Kind of a dark and gruesome cartoon. And the implications of the Warners having done away with Scratchensniff's brother without him ever being aware of it gives me the willies too.
The joke I liked was Yakko telling his island stand-in that he likes that he's the tallest so they can tell he's the oldest. I would like to think our Yakko has more to him than that (and he does) but the show poking fun at the superficiality of the design is interesting.
The animation was good too.
But that's a darker ending than freaking Murder Pals. **1/2.
Episode Overall: ****.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 7"
Global Warnering:
"Cleft In Twaining" is a good one.
Josh Polar has a great design.
"Here Comes The Sea" is a DAMN good song, considering Randy Rogel had nothing to do with it.
Was the ending too political? Well, yes. But if it wasn't, they couldn't really tackle the topic at all, could they? Maybe they shouldn't have. But the song tells me any uneasy preachy morals are probably worth it. At least this time. ****.
Lawn In Sixty Seconds:
Cynical cartoon that I dislike simply because it makes Murder Pals feel less special. **.
All's Fair In Love And Door:
Julia continues to have the best cartoon character design and animated facial expressions on the show. I hear people taking shots at this show's animation for supposedly being worse than the original series. And in fairness it's been awhile since I've seen it. But I was an animation fan as a teenager. If they had ever animated a character as perfectly back then as they do Julia now, I would have noticed it. No question.
No, I think the series is just seriously underrated as far as animation goes. ****.
Cute Things That Can Kill You:
Again, another differently animated interstitial I'm resentful for because it takes the wind out of the sails of Murder Pals. The noive. *1/2.
Episode Overall: ***1/2.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 8"
WARner GAMES:
Cameos from the Goodfeathers, Slappy Squirrel, and Chicken Boo.
Those guys look like Wakko smells. I love Wakko telling Yakko to punch up for once, why don'cha?
I also laughed when Yakko points out he's technically a Boomer. I totally forgot that. The old-timey nature of the Warners has been largely ignored on the relaunch.
What would be amazing would be if someone on Reddit liked the reboot.
By the way, it's not a reboot, it's a revival. Reboot is the most misused word in popular culture. Animaniacs 2020 does not fit its definition.
Jackass Monkey? Okay, I'll concede that legit earned the ep a TV-PG rating. It's normally unnecessary.
I liked some of the Terminator sequels. I thought Genisys was a lot of fun.
Funny stuff. ****.
Starbox And Cindy: Bedtime:
Surprisingly sweet ending.
I also should probably say that the more I hear it, the more I think the Starbox and Cindy theme tune ("Alien Chorus") is excellent.
Weirdest Cindy line (in a show where she says nothing by weird lines) was her saying she was born with a tail, but it fell off, and that's how you can tell if a person is a monster. She then looks at Starbox's butt and tells him he's just a guy.
Turning these shorts into an arc this season has made them extra interesting. ****1/2.
WARner GAMES2:
The "sucks" and Beastwipe trying to "seduce" Wakko are more TV-PGedness.
I got the battle videogames they were parodying but I kind of think it would have been more fun to instead of seeing the Warners as 3D CGI videogame characters, for them to turn into 8/16-bit sprites instead. Granted that's been done before, but Animaniacs actually HAD a Super Nintendo game, so it would probably have felt more appropriate. ***1/2.
Crumbly's Moment:
This is essentially the Animaniacs version of a Pixar short. It's a bit of a goofy premise, but the animation is cool and it feels shockingly sweet and sincere too. Not too many Animaniacs cartoons I'd call "nice". That qualified. ****1/2.
Episode Overall: ****1/2.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 9"
How The Brain Thieved Christmas: Part One:
Bringing up "A Pinky And The Brain Christmas" was smart. Not only is it great to acknowledge one of the best episodes of the original show, but doing so allowed them to manage expectations about this one and perhaps not have to do something quite as heartwarming. There is some of that here, for sure. But we'll get to that soon enough.
My favorite bit in the first part is Robot Pinky asking if we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys, and Brain deadpanning that's TOO stupid. I don't think everyone in the audience is going to get that joke, but it's hilarious of you are of a certain mind. Let's keep it at that. ****1/2.
Santamaniacs:
I'm not going to say Animaniacs ripped off my Santa from Gilda And Meek, but... No, you know what? I AM gonna say it. Mine was online in 2017. Make THOSE guys defend it. Eh. I'll give them this one because I'm kind: My ripped Santa is way better and funnier. If they really ripped it off, their version would be cooler.
This show makes the excellent musical numbers look effortless. Although truth be told, they may actually be. I have a sneaking suspicion great original musical numbers aren't actually hard. Bob's Burgers just makes them LOOK hard. ***1/2.
How The Brain Thieved Christmas: Part Two:
I love that they do the same thing every Boxing Day: Finish off the nog before it goes bad, and try to take over the world.
There is a slight element of tugging at the heartstrings. But unlike the classic special it doesn't feel genuine. That's actually all right (A Pinky And The Brain Christmas was EXTREMELY unusual for an Animaniacs related project) but it's hard to take Brain's redemption at face value when the characters are literally deconstructing how the Whoville chorus works on a manipulative emotional level out-loud. But Brain doesn't have to love and appreciate Pinky this year. Him accepting part of the holidays is disappointment and regret is another valid response. And I'm glad the two Christmas specials, decades apart, reach different conclusions. And that's okay. Because some Christmases are better than others.
It feels nice to get an Animaniacs Christmas special again, but the fact that it streams on Hulu is a double-edged sword. We get all the episodes at once, but it means the Christmas special drops in February. It was a good one though. ****1/2.
Episode Overall: ****1/2.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 10"
International Mouse Of Mystery:
Good intro. ****.
Aliens Resurrected:
That's sort of the videogame sprites in the opening I was looking for.
And yes, I appreciate the show giving the audience a clearer picture why Hello Nurse and Minerva Mink are gone. Do you really miss them? Really? I'm gonna save my rage against dumb and pointless arguments for the last cartoon, but I think Slappy has me unleashing my inner curmudgeon today.
Also, psst! Warners? The aliens are not actually coming back. ****.
Joe:
Eh. Some of these random jokes are good. This one added nothing. Although the Australian accents gave it a bit of international flavor. But if you want good parents with Aussie accents your best bet is Bluey. **1/2.
The Stickening:
The Gnome In People's Mouths makes his one brief appearance of the season here. I'm less surprised he sat the rest of the season out, and more surprised he was brought back at ALL in season two. ***1/2.
Slappy's Return:
Slappy was a fan demanded character, and I think I like the fact that she thinks that's stupid. It was nice to throw Sherri Stoner this bone when they suspected it was the final episode, but I think Slappy finding fan outrage at her absence annoying entirely appropriate.
The irony is beside the Warners and Pink And The Brain, Slappy Squirrel was the one decent sketch on the original series. Literally everything else was awful. I'm not exaggerating my opinion. I truly think it all sucked, and I did as a teenager too. Goodfeathers, Rita and Runt, Buttons and Mindy, Hip Hippos, Chicken Boo, Katie Kaboom ALL of it sucked ass. If you didn't think so, you were young. Goodfeathers in particular confounded me. Who the HELL was that cartoon geared towards anyways? How is one pigeon repeating the line from Goodfeathers even a joke? How was this such a major recurring sketch they were in the damn theme song? What the freaking hell? Crap.
Slappy always struck me as hit and miss. When she did stuff like takes shots at Bonkers, I cringed, but mostly she was all right. And I felt the same way about the Warners, so I actually didn't really see the logic of not bringing her into the relaunch too. But damn, she was hardly an unimpeachable cartoon genius, no matter what Spielberg smugly told the kids at home at the time via obnoxious, unfunny meta jokes. I was like "Man, get over it!" to the fans whining about her absence. Maybe they didn't bring her back because the old show told every interesting story with her worth telling. That makes more sense than some massive conspiracy on the end of the producers to ruin your childhood and Tom Ruegger's legacy that his kid likes and retweets.
And yeah, I'll tell you one thing I won't miss about the reboot. The dirty laundry being aired behind the scenes. The show getting it from the fans of the old show is understandable. That goes with the territory. The show never had a remote shot so long as Tom Ruegger was turning fans against it. I found the actions of both Ruegger and his son completely unprofessional. And it strikes me as a good thing he wasn't invited back. He obviously is not a good team player or willing to share credit with anyone else. Maybe if the show had his blessing it would have either gotten a bigger fanbase or not been such a lightning rod for fan-hate. But his behavior towards the show was completely unprofessional. You think Don Rosa likes DuckTales 2017 or that Scott Bakula likes Quantum Leap 2022? They don't, but they said their piece, and that was the end of it. They didn't have their kids online nitpicking every little thing and trying to sabotage the show week by week. I'm not gonna miss that. At all.
Also should point out that math does in fact exist. Therefore even if you accepted that the reboot's versions of the Warners and Pinky And The Brain are worse than the original series' take (which is debatable, if you ask me), the fact that all of those awful cartoons I mentioned, that ate up SO much of the original series' runtime, are enirely absent, makes this show ten times better than the original. And that would be so if the Warners and Acme Labs were twice as bad. And I don't think they are, so it pisses me off the guy who let the Hip Hippos on the air is always whining about quality control. Give me a freaking break.
Wait, didn't I say I was gonna ONLY start arguing against stupid stuff in the last cartoon? I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd here, Ringo... Okay, maybe that joke's as played out as the Joe Pesci thing. But see, I'm only telling it once in this review. *****.
Everyday Safety: Giant Adirondack Chair:
Well, that's it, isn't it? I don't want to hear complaints about the ending and how it's cliffhanger and unresolved or the Warners died. Don't be stupid, okay? Please? Just this once, don't make me argue against nonsense. Let's pretend a comedy ending on a joke is acceptable. Because guess what? It is.
As the last cartoon, I guess it will be important to talk about what the show did right and wrong. I know the series probably wished for more seasons, but I don't like that Julia's Arc on Pinky And The Brain wound up totally unresolved, especially since it was just warming up. Similarly, I was delighted Starbox and Cindy sort of became a bit serialized this season. But it just stopped and we're left hanging. I object to that far most than the Warners being hit by a comet they would survived had the series been renewed. Like, I have Starbox QUESTIONS, man. Don't do that to me.
So That's All, Folks. Or more like, Those Are The Facts. ****.
Episode Overall: ****.
Star Trek: Picard "Disengage"
I predict this episode is going to be polarizing. Some people will love it, some people will hate it. Last week was a real crowd-pleaser, so I suspect the fact that this episode's viewpoint and morality is so questionable is gonna piss people off, and make them wonder why we aren't allowed nice things. I get that. I do. But even if a lot of it didn't feel like Star Trek, I thought a lot of it was interesting solely BECAUSE it was Star Trek, and didn't feel like it. People complained about Voyager and Enterprise never showing us anything new. The episode had the bad guys throw a spaceship at the Titan. That's definitely never been done before. Talk crap about the episode if you must, but damn.
I think Sneed is also going to create controversy among fans as he is totally unlike any other Ferengi. The main thing I was concerned about hearing there was going to be a Ferengi, was thinking the show might do like Discoery and get the make-up entirely wrong. No, the part of Sneed that feels wrong is that he doesn't remotely speak like a Ferengi. Ferengi speak in very arch tones that run the gamut from confused to malevolent. Even Quark, the most human Ferengi spoke that way. Sneed speaks not just like a human, but a 21st Century human, which is gonna piss people off.
For me, instead of declaring that a huge mistake, my inclination is to wonder why that is. Seven Of Nine got rid of her Borg cadences in her speaking voice, and it's hinted that Sneed is really into vintage Earth. It makes me wonder if he adjusted the way he speaks to fit in better with the galaxy at large, the way Seven did. And the reason I'm wondering this is because it seems like he has (or had before he died) legit juice in the underworld. Most criminal Ferengi we've seen on both Next Generation and Deep Space Nine are considered jokes by other criminals and not taken seriously. Maybe Sneed is acting like a scary human from a scary period on our history because it scares people and makes them take him seriously. Instead of me instantly screaming at the show that they are doing wrong by the Ferengi, I'm wondering how Sneed's way of speaking came to be.
Vadek is a pretty cool villain in that she has an actual personality, which human criminals were never permitted during the Roddenberry / Berman era. I don't see why. Making her funny and interesting, and having her say crazy and alarming things isn't making me think less of 24th Century humans, or worse, romanticize her actions. I feel like Roddenberry and Berman kept things boring for no good reason at all, and only seeing stuff like this makes me realize how much we were missing then.
I love that Raffi's handler was Worf. Good twist.
Picard getting around to realizing the truth about Jack, and Beverly confirming he's his son was done extremely well. Personally I though Picard's interrogation of him was terrific writing.
I admit I don't like the fact that this season doesn't have a main title sequence at the beginning. The credits are saved for after the episode like a movie. I hope this doesn't become a habit with Star Trek shows because Star Trek is NOT a movie franchise, it's a television one. The main defenses of the show doing that this year is that first off, the theme songs in the first two seasons sucked. Season 2 was actually quite a bit better, but I could never get over or accept how unmemorable the first season's theme tune was. So it's not like Picard is missing out by playing the decent Generations / Next Generation Themes at the end. But the real selling point of doing it after the episode is that they aren't spoiling anybody's surprise first appearance, which is clever. Needless to say, this shouldn't be a problem for any other Trek series or season, so I want everyone else to continue doing theme songs and opening title sequences.
This episode is going to get crap for being outside of Star Trek. I think the ways and reasons it's outside Star Trek are personally fascinating if you ask me. My fandom response is usually less "This doesn't fit" and "I wonder how they made this fit". But maybe that's just me. ****.
Star Wars: The Bad Batch "Retrieval"
I like the constant contrasts the episode does between how Makko and the Bad Batch do business and treat their respective crews. Truthfully, it feels a bit heavy-handed, and like Bennie should be getting the message sooner than he does. But it's obviousness can be forgiven because it IS a kids show, and I only think it's obvious as an adult viewer. For kids the clarifications might be necessary, and I think the contrasts are certainly not going overboard in preachiness either.
I like Bennie saying they obviously weren't Epsiem miners and Omega quipping he stole the wrong ship.
I never heard of the guy who played Mokko before but he has a great voice.
The cool thing about Hunter's trapeze rescue of Omega is that she trusts him to make it. It's a crazy stunt for a kid to do unless they totally trust the adult. And it's edge-of-your-seat exciting for that reason.
A good week, I think. This obviously isn't "Andor" or anything, but not everything Star Wars needs to be. It was Good Enough. ***1/2.
Spidey And His Amazing Friends "Pirate Plunder Blunder / Bad Bot"
Pirate Plunder Blunder
So apparently nobody can tell the Pirate with the green skin is Green Goblin. The people in this Universe are apparently dumb enough to fall for that. What is an open question is if the producers are cynical (and wrong) enough to believe kids in the audience will fall for it. Because it IS kinda played as a reveal and surprise.
And that level of stupidity reminds me this show and shows like it don't have to be as bad as stupid as they are. They simply choose to be. 0.
Bad Bot:
Case in point: The episode feels the weak need to overexplain that Trace-E and Fake Trace-E are two separate beings who are on different sides. It says something bad about your animated show, when things are so overexplained and explicit in dialogue, it sound even overly obvious than if it were a radio play. And this stuff is about an essentially mute character as well, so making the dialogue do ALL the heavy lifting there is especially egregious.
Again, I believe the only reason this show is this bad is because Marvel and Disney don't believe a toddler show designed to sell toys actually needs to be any good. That's the only reason it sucks. I am positive if the writers of this show were asked to write a good show, they could do it. But the mandate is that Disney prefers a stupid show that talks down to kids. It sells more toys. Am I cynical enough or what?
Cartoons back in the 1980's were horrendous. But mostly due to incompetence on the part of writers, animators, and producers. As far as bad cartoons like this in 2023 go? I actually believe they are this bad on purpose. Doesn't that idea just piss you off? It pisses me off. 0.
Episode Overall: 0.
The Flash "Rogues Of War"
It was decent. I liked more than I didn't. But still, I had a couple of gripes.
I love Barry realizing the correct solution was to plan to give Hartley the device and then pay off the rest of the Rogues. Him expecting them to do it for free, was actually silly.
Of course we all knew the Red Death was Ryan, or at least a version of her, but Batwoman recently having gone missing sets off alarm bells. Smart narrative move for the show.
Do you know what wasn't? Mark's betrayal. It is ill-advised to make him a series regular if he's going to be working for Red Death. They are gonna have to move unlikely storytelling mountains to keep him in most of the episodes anyways. Bad idea.
Also I was digging Keon last week, until I realized the show simply created a character completely unlike the other two Snows, and have no idea what to do with her. Her role in the show is down to giving relationship advice. One of the smartest / most powerful members of Team Flash has essentially turn into Neelix for Star Trek: Voyager. Another ill-advised plot idea.
So it's clear they are not keeping Goldface an antagonist. He wouldn't have learned Barry was the Flash otherwise. It means he was either going to join the good guys, or get killed off by the end of the episode. Joining the good guys is more interesting.
I expected Hartley to get killed off based on what the chick in the mask was signing to him. You shouldn't use that kind of dialogue if you aren't gonna go through with it. It was a little more more scary and disturbing than simple "I'mma kick your ass" trash talk.
The episode was fine though. I'll allow it. ***1/2.
The Simpsons "Carl Carlson Rides Again"
The Simpsons has been on the air for so long that I believe its long-term health is in danger as long as they only try to come up with new Homer and Marge, Lisa and Bart, or Lisa and Homer stories. There is only so much you do with those characters, and since the show refuses actual character growth, having those character learn the same things over and over again is tiring.
So recently The Simpsons decided to see if centering episodes around minor or joke characters could possibly be interesting. This experiment has been a truly mixed bag. I want to slap Al Jean over the head for ever consenting to giving Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel his own episode. But the question remained: Could Carl Carlson, as a character famously devoid of a single personality trait outside of some vague homoeroticism with Lenny, carry an entire episode on his own? Frankly the idea probably wouldn't have worked before Alex Desert took over the character from Hank Azaria due to racial sensitivities (which is ironic because Carl was one of the few characters of color, along with Lou, that Azaria voiced with no offensive racial stereotyping whatsoever). But when Desert took over the role, maybe the fact that Carl is missing his own racial identity would be a good hook for an episode.
I am impressed and appreciate the show remembers that Carl was adopted and raised by white Icelandic parents. Not only had I forgotten that, nobody would have begrudged them for ignoring it. I don't just mean retconning. I mean totally pretending it never happened. But despite the show's continuity usually being shady, I like that they actually remembered one of the few unusual facts they already established about Carl's history. And regardless of whether you think the recasting of Carl was necessary or not, you have to understand they can't have a story about Carl exploring his black identity while he's voiced by a white guy. (The Cleveland Show did it with Mike Henry and it was just as appalling as you could imagine). Do I think the recasting was unnecessary myself? I think Carl is one of the few people of color Azaria voices without malice in his heart. But the fact that that malice exists for near everybody else means it best to move on from that specific actor. The good news is I think this episode is a turning point in that Desert is starting to sound a LOT more like Azaria than he did. And I was always annoyed that Family Guy went for a total unknown who sounded exactly like Mike Henry, and The Simpsons just opened the trusty voice actor rolodex and got "sort of, maybe, if he has a cold". In fairness I'll get used to Desert as Carl. I probably won't ever get used to Kevin Michael Richardson as Dr. Hibbert.
I like that Dr. Hibbert goes to the barbershop on Their Side Of Town, because it's been established in the past he's a Republican. Maybe Hibbert is due his own focus episode because just based on the contradictory things he does, and places we've seen him in, I still can't figure the guy out after 30 years.
I like that none of Carl's friends want to talk about his racial identity crisis. The entire selling point of Carl for them is that he never talks about his blackness and makes them uncomfortable and guilty. As such he is afforded the same privilege as the white guys in the group. For once, this not an exaggeration. He's not merely treated as an equal among the Moe's Patrons or Power Plant workers. He's considered an extremely respected member of that specific clique, probably second in deference to only Homer himself. Moe and Lenny might think they're Number Two material, but nobody really listens to or respects what they have to say. As far Carl goes, his opinions have gravitas. And the fact that his friends don't see his color makes them especially uncomfortable when he asks them to.
I like his new girlfriend for sure. She one of those characters like Superintendent Chalmers who actually talks like a real person. But there is still a cartoony archness behind Chalmers, particularly when dealing with Skinner. Carl's new girlfriend seem Earthy, real, and grounded. Totally refreshing. She yells at the TV for him to mention the name of the restaurant, and when he does, the place erupts in cheers. That felt authentic to me in a way Carl being surprised people in barbershops talk trash to each other did not.
Speaking of the barbershop, I not only like that Bart gets his hair cut on Their Side Of Town, but that he's on a first named basis with Clarence who likes the boy even though he's white. Why does Bart get his hair cut here? If you ever saw the cartoon in the Tracy Ullmann Show of him using Homer's elderly white barber, you might have an inkling. That was damn near 35 years ago, but having seen it makes me totally unsurprised Bart has searched elsewhere for his look. I don't like too much current Bart stuff but I liked this scene.
I think the thing I didn't like about the episode is that it never gave a good or plausible reason why Carl's parents abandoned him. On the tape they clearly loved him. So the doorstep thing makes even LESS sense. If I were Carl that would raise MORE questions and recriminations from me, not less. But The Simpsons is a 22 minute show, and they gotta wrap things up in the allotted time. I'm just pointing out they didn't wrap up this specific thing WELL. Because they didn't.
If the show wants to do an episode for Eddie and Lou next, that's a great idea. How about the Old Sea Captain? Or damn it, Dr. Hibbert? The show may have been on the air for 30 years, but it still has a TON of characters it still hasn't fully explored.
Just no more Otto, episodes, okay, Matt Selman? Those just plain suck, so don't bother trying.
But I liked this week and thought it was a worthy attempt of the show branching out. ****1/2.
The Great North "Sister Pact Too Adventure"
A mixed bag.
I like that Honeybee insists the Ghost reference is a good thing. Because I personally don't see it that way. Her and Judy have some Swayze movie binges in their future though.
I love the Trump pinata.
The thing is, I hated Beef's story. I thought it sucked. What Zelda did is played for laughs but it is the most inconsiderate thing another person could do to a person they barely know. The most detestable part about it is she does it KNOWING it's bogus, but she's clearly hoping that Beef is too chicken to correct her. The thing that pisses me off is he almost is. There is actually a debate involved, which makes me absolutely furious.
When Alyson says "She seems nice," yeah, that's a great laughline, but it's a reminder that this show's greatest strength has the potential to be a great weakness. The characters on the show are unusually nice. But that can lead to bad people taking advantage of them. Judy and Honeybee can take care of themselves when the feminist scammers lower the milk balloons, but it pisses me off that Beef is too nice to tell this rude wretch, "Get the hell out of my house. I never want to see you again. You are pathetic." Granted Bob Belcher would never say those words. But he'd also never let her in the house. (She'd only get in if Linda and the kids were there.) But the drawback to having nice characters is they can be portrayed as total losers and doormats. And the reason The Great North is so popular is because the cast is so nice. And despite taking place in a red state, it's nonpolitical, and whatever weak political stances it does take (like Wolf being a fan of Michelle Obama) are not the ones you'd expect. It's SUCH an easy show to like and enjoy, when it's just the cast goofing with each other (see the pickle runner at the end). Having an outsider barge in and create a crisis none of them want or deserve is not actually funny. It's annoying. It's infuriating. And it's the selling point of the show being used as a drawback, which is a red flag for any good show. It doesn't qualify as a shark jump. But the fact that it happened tells me the writers might believe the episode was dramatically interesting, and do it again a LOT. Peggy Hill wasn't originally envisioned to be the obnoxious buffoon should wound up as on King Of The Hill. But it got a HUGE laugh in the writers' room, and from that point forward that basically likeable show was essentially ruined. The good news for The Great North is that the show does not seem to be looking to make the Tobins themselves meaner or stupider. But this episode means they could be exploring conflicting them with those sorts of characters more often which is a HELL of a mistake.
I liked the stuff with Judy and Honeybee. I did. But I was disgusted with the Zelda stuff. **1/2.
Bob's Burgers "Stop! Or My Mom Will Sleuth!"
This is one of those shows that can still surprise you on occasion, but this wasn't one of those episodes.
I guess the one line I really liked was Ms. Selbo asking Linda if she's never seen interesting things. It is both the wrong question (Linda is b.s.ing her), and considering Linda's interests and what impresses her, the most right question anyone who doesn't know her could ever actually ask.
The song sucked, per usual. The show needs to stop this. It feels like a cry for help at this point.
The show's done better but it's also done worse. ***1/2.
Family Guy "Single White Dad"
I've been having a minor problem with Family Guy this season, and I figured I'd take this review to talk about it.
Except this specific episode was a gem. Maybe next week then.
I think Donkey Kong is a better game than it's described as here. But the truth is, it WOULD make a killer house. You can call Peter the worst father on television. He is. He's also the only one who would ever do Donkey Kong House. While we're keeping score of the important things.
Lois rubbing Brian's face in the reality of "The English Patient" was cathartic on every level. I love it when the show gives Lois empowering moments against Brian's horribleness, and since he's now constantly horrible, they are pleasurably frequent. But yeah, the dude sucks, and watching her literally rub his face in how much he sucks feels DAMN good. It's not just the audience who hates and is sick of Brian. It's not just us at all.
I love that everyone always yawns when Becky talks about Scott. I especially the last bit when we realized it's not just Peter.
What would Scott think? Give Becky a break. She was acquitted. That is a freaking fabulous joke.
Lois pointing out Becky could do better is something that really shouldn't need to be said. In other words the entire premise of the episode was a stretch.
Kirby makes a good name for pink videogame marshmallows.
Yeti Coolers are the right coolers for guys without personalities.
When Quagmire says that golf takes 6 hours to play, out of town, in a different shirt, suddenly the entire sport sounds suspect, doesn't it? Really insightful and alarming joke. I hope every husband who makes their wives watch this show laughs EXTRA nervously at that joke, while darting their eyes away from them. They're onto them now. Gulp!
The climax was a wonderful comedy of errors. Bonnie and the thing with the washing machine was an amazingly goofy and random complication to the whole thing. Well timed comedy nonsense.
I love that the Prowler is still on the roof during the last shot.
Hilarious episode. I'll save my gripe sesh for next week. *****.
Night Court "Train Court"
I forgot Dan was from Louisiana.
I know the old show was pretty stupid. But there's no reason the new show needs to be this stupid in 2023. Maybe I'd actually cut them some slack there if it was ALWAYS this stupid. But it isn't. So I'll complain about it instead. **.
Law & Order "Fear And Loathing"
For once the case went all right but I can't help feeling like the outcome of Shaw's story is nothing but a defense of the Blue Wall. If the lesson is you can't fight it, that means the writers are defending it. There's no other way to read that.
The thing that pisses me off the most is both Cosgrove and Dixon tell Shaw that no matter what he decides, they have his back. And then... They don't. It's infuriating.
This show has problems. **1/2.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit "King Of The Moon"
Richard Belzer died? I had no idea. Well, they certainly picked the right episode to pay tribute to him. There aren't many Law & Order episodes I'd call beautiful, but this definitely qualified. I'm amazed at the timing that they were able to pay tribute to Richard with this.
As for Valasco, I like that unlike the Mothershow, there is accountability for cops' bad actions. But let me blunt. Him sitting on Chili's name is a luxury he should not be afforded at all. If I were Carisi, until he came clean, I'd charge him with the murder himself. Why? Because if you commit a crime with somebody else, and they murder somebody, you get charged with murder too. That's how the law works. And the show acting like him not pulling the trigger exonerates him, is another troubling recent example of the franchise's writers no longer understanding the law.
My favorite bit was him asking who they were interrogating and Fin's all, "You." Really, this specific revelation seems so huge it's kind of weird that the show has been sitting on it for a couple weeks.
Was this the first episode of Law & Order EVER to use heavy visual effects? Damn, it actually might have been. There might have been some CGI explosions here and there before this, but this was legit sci-fi effects, even if they weren't obviously big budgeted.
Another difference between this and the awful Mothershow. Carisi declining to charge Pence because he believed he was innocent is not something Price would ever do. Price has noted more than once that finding out how and why the crime occurred doesn't matter, which is the stupidest thing ever for a prosecutor to believe, and is totally on-brand what a turd of a person and writer Rick Eid is. Olivia says Carisi is using his cop instincts. But really, getting to the truth of the crime is what EVERY part of the law should actually be about.
And truly, the stuff with Bradley Whitford as Pence was by turns heartbreaking and wonderful. I don't how and why God decided to take Richard last week, so THIS perfect, tear-jerker of an episode carried his dedication card. But damn it, it nearly makes me sob even before finding out the guy who played Munch died. *****.
Law & Order: Organized Crime "The Wild And The Innocent"
I thought that was great.
The thing I really responded to was how on the level both Stabler and Carver were with each other. Stabler lets him know after this is all over, he's going to jail. And Carver understands it and accepts his help to get his daughter back anyways.
But as much honor as Carver clearly has is as morally bankrupt as the other two gang factions seem. This is supposed to be organized crime? Pure chaos!
I love Stabler and Bell's scene at the end. What I hope Stabler can appreciate (and it is left unsaid) is that no matter how guilty he feels about the last time he saw him before this, because of what happened in this episode their relationship was STILL left off on a much healthier place, cop and criminal or not. That's not nothing.
I find the fact that Bruce is routinely mortified by his obvious crush on Jet all kinds of adorable. If he were a creep, the crush wouldn't be cute. Because every true feeling that spills out of him is accidental instead, it's a bit endearing instead. Think Felicity Smoak. Which is a tough dynamic to pull off with Bruce a dude and Jet a woman, but I buy it.
Great episode. ****1/2.
Insomnia by Stephen King
I'm giving this a lukewarm review, but in fairness, I want to point out that this specific novel is something I tend to go back and forth about the quality of it each time I reread it. Sometimes I love it. Sometimes I don't. I believe one of the times I read it I actually cried at the ending (which is high praise from me). My ultimate opinion of the book tends to vary based upon the mood I was in when I read it. I wasn't in a bad mood this time at all. But I was in a bit of a no-nonsense mood, which happens a lot during a creative period of mine, and yeah, I kind of noticed the flaws in the dialogue this time out. And this happened to be the time I decided to put a review to paper so keep in mind this review is of The Random, rather than The Purpose.
One of the things I notice immediately after not having read it in a few years is that in the 1990's King had a different viewpoint and plan for the fictional town of Derry back then. The idea here seems to be that it's slowly healing from the horrors of Pennywise from "IT", but there is still a dangerous undercurrent to it. Books like "11/22/63" and "Gwendy's Final Task" take the stance that Derry is irredeemably rotten and nothing will ever truly change. In Gwendy's level of the Tower it seems like Pennywise was never defeated either. I have a hard time accepting King's later decision, just knowing there ARE good people in Derry like Ralph Roberts, Lois Chasse, Joe Wyzer, John Leydecker, and Dorrance Marstaller. A town with a bunch of people like this mingled in it, is simply put, NOT evil incarnate. And I accepted the judgment of the Jake Epping of "11/22/63" BECAUSE it was before Pennywise was defeated for good. But really, I'm having a hard time accepting Derry as King's version Hell In Maine. "Dreamcatcher" makes it hard too, although in fairness, that is a far worse book. But I'll review that later on.
Some of the sites I post reviews on don't allow political talk but for this review, I must offer some insights about the ideas the book is talking about. There isn't any choice. To anyone reading this review whose sensibilities I offend with the following observations, instead of telling me how wrong I am. and starting a flame war that will get us both in trouble, just know that I accept the idea that I could be wrong. The following paragraphs are wholly dedicated to the phrase "Your Mileage May Vary".
This is a book clearly from the period of King's career where he felt the need to stand up for abused and mistreated women. And as far as Helen Deepneau's arc goes, he does fine. But King's politics from this era are a work in progress. I don't think King in 2023 would remotely reach the same conclusion about Susan Day's visit to the convention center that John Leydecker does. You get the feeling King uses Leydecker as his surrogate in his disdain for somebody coming to town and "stirring the pot". Not only are abortion rights no longer as safe as they were in the early 1990's when the book was written (which admittedly King had no way of predicting) I find Leydecker's hatred of Day "stirring up trouble" lazy bothsiderism, that effected many liberals of the era. I sure as hell suffered from it and I was not alone. Bill Clinton's entire Presidency and success was built upon an idea called "triangulation" that meant accepting conservative frames and working within them so to not alienate moderate voters.
And as far as the scenario in the book as shown is concerned, that's wrong. A woman has every right to give a speech to a town without fear of there being a terrorist mass bombing. It is not incumbent on the feminist group to stay silent so as not to provoke antiabortion terrorists. In a just and free society, they should be allowed to gather and say what they want. There would be no false equivalence in reality in Helen's pained determination that if they cancel the rally the bad guys win. King is trying to get the reader to believe that winning boils down to nothing but a team sport. But when you add terrorism and murder to the mix, not only is winning a necessity, but Helen's team winning is the outcome the moral person would want. And for the record, prolifers reading this, the same would hold true if Susan Day's followers were the violent terrorists intent on murdering the Friends to Life. King tries to say "This can't happen because Derry isn't like any other town." You know what, Uncle Stevie? It is. I am also willing to bet that as horrible as you portray the people in later books, Derry is probably a HELL of a lot nicer and more civilized that MANY real-world towns in the Keystone Earth version of the United States. King conceived that Greg Stillson was the worst politician you could ever imagine. And that's why 2016 stunned him so much. When it comes to horrible things in the imagination, King knows what buttons to push. When it comes to horrible things in reality, it always turns out King thought WAY too small in hindsight.
I don't like Bill McGovern. Which is good, because I don't think King does either. The sense I get from his relationship to Ralph is that he is VERY unhealthy for him. Which leads to their final fight before McGovern croaks, and also Ralph realizing Bill was full of crap about Lois' gossipy vapidity.
King Connections Of Note: I do this for every book that has them, and most of them do. But I'll list off the couple of other King books the story references before talking about The Dark Tower connections in earnest. This is considered a Dark Tower-related book, but considering how The Dark Tower ended, it probably shouldn't be. Robin Furth is of the opinion The Eyes Of The Dragon doesn't fit into Mid-World, and must exist on a different level of the Tower. I believe the same of Insomnia.
The biggest references of course go back to "IT". Not just about mentioning that Derry is not like other towns, and that there is a darkness under the surface, but many of the characters and premises are mentioned. Mike Hanlon appears a few times, Ben Hanscomb, Adrian Mellon, and Butch Bowers are mentioned, and in my favorite bit, during Ralph's fight with the Crimson King the word "Deadlights" flashes in his mind with him having no idea (and never finding out) what it means. The Crimson King also tells Ralph there is a rich history of shapeshifters in Derry. Many of the locations from "IT" are revisited as well.
The most interesting King connection to me however is seeing Gage Creed's sneaker in Atropos' lair. It means the events of "Pet Sematary" were never supposed to happen, and as far as causing random death and destruction goes, Atropos certainly got his money's worth there.
Time to talk about the Dark Tower stuff. Roland Deschain actually has a cameo at the end and a version of the Crimson King (utterly unlike his interpretation in both the final novel and the comic books) confronts Ralph at the end. But the reason the novel refuses to fit into the canon is because King utterly changed gears and his mind about what to do with Patrick Danville. According to this book, in 18 years Patrick Danville will die saving the lives of two men, one of whom is going to be crucial to saving the Tower and the Beams. Now this might have happened later ON, but those two men are NOT Roland Deschain and Eddie Dean, as Insomnia readers might have guessed. Eddie is already dead by the time Patrick meets Roland and Susannah, and the Tower has already ostensibly been saved. If there is an additional threat Roland has missed and Patrick has to take care of later on, we don't see it. King refuses to tell us Patrick's ultimate fate in the last book, but the last time we see him he is actually alive. And I don't believe he ever saved Roland's life either. If anything, he was a hindrance to Roland's remaining Tet, and got Oy killed.
King sort of cleverly pointed out this discrepancy himself in the final Dark Tower book when Roland goes to Keystone Earth to meet the Tet Corporation for the final time. Mose Carver's granddaughter hands Roland a copy of "Insomnia" and claims out of all the books Stephen King has written, this one will probably be the key to Roland saving the Tower once and for all. And Roland, God bless his simple heart, dumps the book in the trash the second he leaves Keystone Earth. Why? Because it "feels tricksy". Isn't that the best and most infuriating way King could possibly have disowned Insomnia's connection to The Dark Tower? It's like Discordia was messing with him for that one book, and Roland knew it. But If I want to be perfectly frank, it doesn't actually impress me. What would have impressed me more is if King hadn't written himself into that corner with Patrick to begin with. He wrote himself a pretty audacious out there, no question. But it's annoying he wasn't competent enough to write "Insomnia" so it would fit in the first place.
This go-round, I see the flaws clearly. The love story between Ralph and Lois seems particularly painful to me, and I feel like a LOT of his love stories from the 1990's and early 2000's are kind of sappy, and poorly written. By the way, this includes "Lisey's Story", King's personal favorite book. What he considers empowering moments, I find kind of cringe. It's also something you can sometimes forgive. It's present in "The Library Policeman" for example, but it's such a minor part, I didn't even need to bring it up. I love that King is an optimist, and it is refreshing that a writer of scary books enjoys giving readers nice moments. I just wish the nice stuff was better written at this stage of the game. He does get better at it later on. The romance in "11/22/63" is pure perfection, and kills me dead every time. This lovey-dovey stuff here just makes me want to point my finger in my mouth and make sarcastic gagging noises. I wish I could put it kinder than that, but I cannot.
Another reason I have a hard time accepting "Insomnia" as Dark Tower canon is because even though I BELIEVE The Random and The Purpose come up again (although I could be wrong) Atropos, Clotho, and Lachesis never show up in any other King story. I might be misremembering it, but I think they MIGHT have been mentioned in either "Rose Madder" or "Desperation" as an Easter Egg for the reader (and we'll find that out soon enough) but the mention of them was I believe done in the form of the Greek sisters instead of The Little Bald Doctors. But if "Insomnia" kept the Beams up, they'd be recurring characters like Maturin the Turtle, or even Randall Flagg. The "physicians of last resort" (which is a fabulous job description for them) should not ONLY appear in JUST this book if it IS supposed to be central to the mythology of "The Dark Tower".
I'll give that a passing grade, but little more. I like it more than Stephen King does, solely because I see value in Helen's independence and getting away from the abusive Ed. I will talk a LITTLE bit more in Rose Madder's review about why King should not be dismissing the real-life women books like this and that one help just because they left him a bit creatively unfulfilled. It's actually all right. ***.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 1"
Previously On:
So the credits listed the recap as a separate cartoon, so I need to review it. But it's a freaking recap, new spit-take animation or not. **1/2.
Season Three And WB: Part 1:
Maybe not do movie parodies to escape if the new guard ran the studio in question and saw all the movies.
True note: The Dark Knight Rises is worse than The Dark Knight in every nearly respect. But it DID have the more memorable set-piece. Doesn't stop it from sucking, but it was a true observation from Yakko.
Meatball Man felt too far outside the franchise. And since I didn't like the original show too much, I don't tend to mind that. But when it gets TOO far outside it, it's noticeable, and noticing things like that makes the viewing experience worse. It's not bad per se, but the fact that it feels "wrong" makes my enjoyment less anyways. Does that make sense? ***1/2.
How To Friendship:
The Pinky the Brain cartoons on the relaunch are really getting in the psychological underpinnings of the codependent relationship between Brain and Pinky. It's such a conundrum that Pinky ruins everything Brain tries to do, and for some reason Brain still can't function without him.
I could be wrong, but I think Maurice La Marche played the catch-phrase at the end entirely differently for the first time ever. I don't recall him using this specific tone before. Usually when Brain does the "The same thing we do every night, Pinky" he's sort of low-key sinister followed by ambition and falsely earned triumph. Here, his voice has a measure of disgust in it. The undertone is, "How many times do I have to say this, and when are you going to stop asking me the same damn question?" That was an interesting thing, for sure. ***1/2.
Season Three And WB: Part 2:
I could be wrong, but this hit me wrong tonally too. I don't like that it turns out Nora actually beat the Warners last episode. They had to beg her for mercy, and it turns out it wasn't a con on their end, they truly cut a deal with her and held up to it.
Yeah, that's... new. But it's totally outside of the premise. The Warners are always supposed to win against their antagonists. That's the whole bit of the show. I understand Bugs Bunny lost to Cecile Turtle on occasion, but Bugs Bunny was not a franchise that had been around for nearly 30 years when Bob Clampett was messing around with the tropes. Again, this felt wrong to me. Am I crazy for thinking that? **1/2.
Episode Overall: ***.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 2"
Soda-Pressed:
Before I review the cartoon, I will offer a brief opinion of Jojo Siwa. She is one of those celebrities that absolutely makes my skin crawl. She dresses like Punky Brewster, and no lie, has a voice like Baby Huey. Everything she says and does project utter stupidity and vapidity. I'm not saying my generation didn't love stupid things. But I am hard pressed to think of a thing as obviously stupid and repulsive as Jojo Siwa gaining a huge amount of screaming fans. To me, it's obscene.
So I was looking forward to a cartoon taking shots at a stand-in for her. But it's a toothless parody instead, throwing her undeserved sympathy for supposedly not being allowed to be a kid. That annoyed me, but whatever. But the episode can't even stick that landing and makes her a psycho at the end. So what's the point of the cartoon anyways? What's the message? What is its stance?
What it is, is an utter mess in both premise and execution. *.
A Starbox Is Born:
I think they aged up Cindy so they wouldn't have to change her voice actress.
And yeah, I always love that these shorts use different animation. ***1/2.
Royal Flush:
Talking about how the stand-in for Megan Markle's horse farm resides on stolen Aboriginal land raises a HELL of a lot more political questions for me than the cutesy idea that gosh, I don't understand WHY this woman of color could possibly feel like an outsider in aristocracy / monarchy. People give Megan Markle SO much crap. If that Aboriginal Lands thing is true, this is the first time I've seen anyone give her crap for a legit reason. But since I never heard of this before, I'm loathe to take it at face value. Sorry, I'm not just gonna take this show's word for it. I'll do some research later on, probably after this damn review has already been posted elsewhere. But it's sort of weird I've never heard of that.
Is Pinky actually in love with Brain? The cartoon is hinting at that, and I feel like maybe that's the show going a little too far with the fact that they like to make Pinky effeminate as a joke. I don't find that idea funny. Considering the way Brain treats him, if that were so, I'd find it tragic.
Also, why the hell did Brain randomly confess to being the paparazzo at the end? Are we sure it's Pinky who is the stupid one who always ruins everything? There was no reason, or even logical benefit to Brain doing that other than plot-related stupidity that would allow him to be "properly punished". And I am not a fan of that. Although the original show sure as hell did its share of it too.
I didn't like this cartoon either. *1/2.
Episode Overall: **.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 3"
Planet Warner:
Future seasons? Fat chance. The episode also basically admits the old episodes without Pinky And The Brain are inferior, but was clearly written and animated before anybody knew Hulu would take the original series off the service.
In fairness to the cartoon at hand, I like Hamster Hog Heron Boy. ***.
Talladega Mice: The Ballad Of Pinky Brainy:
See if I were Brain at the beginning I wouldn't be chastising Pinky for playing an anti-mouse game. I'd be praising him for actually getting the damn Mouse Trap toy to work. Does he have any idea how near-impossible this is? Seeing Brain max out Pinky's stress levels is also another clue that Pinky might be halfway competent if Brain didn't treat him like crap.
I love Brain's Christopher Lloyd and Morgan Freeman impressions. I also laughed at his panic at not knowing how to do Orson Welles. Right. Here's how you do Orson Welles, Brain: Sound like you are the cast member of Transformers: The Movie most embarrassed to be there and then you're all set.
Good cartoon. ***1/2.
DIWhy:
I like the fan art. I wonder what part of Wakko on it was big.
I will never tire of a character pointing out that money is an artificially agreed-upon, fictional construct. Yakko is my people.
Funny. ***1/2.
Episode Overall: ***1/2.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 4"
Fantasy Cold Open:
Not too many cartoons where the Warners and Pinky and the Brain interact. The opening animation style is neat. ***.
Uber Nachtmare:
You know what? I thought this was a little too mean. I DID like the mule who spoke like a New York cabbie though. **.
Mad Mouse: Furry Road:
Sorry, Dexter. There IS no season four. You are finished.
Still can't believe that's the same guy who voices Mickey Mouse. ***1/2.
Episode Overall: ***.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 5"
Teeniacs:
And yet, still not as dumb as Riverdale. ****1/2.
Dog Days:
Starbox And Cindy Arc? Why not? ***1/2.
Groundmouse Day:
Two-Parter? I love it.
Great Garfield slam.
I love when Pinky talks about something Furry, Brain's worried they're playing things a little too close to that side of the fandom. And people wonder why Minerva Mink has been entirely absent on the relaunch.
The Board Store is running out of that guy! Constanza exits room.
Thinky is a funny name, but truthfully there IS every possibility that Pinky is the genius and Brain is insane. Remind yourself what the textbook definition of insanity is and yeah, Brain's not looking so hot there.
So Stephen Tobolowsky played the DJ. If I ran the show, he'd have played Egwind.
Great stuff. *****.
Episode Overall: ****1/2.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 6"
Animaliens:
Not the timeliest parody, for sure. ***.
Murder Pals:
This Lassie / Flipper parody felt like the randomest trio of interstitials EVER. And then the title reveal at the end of the episode hits, and it's pretty much perfect comedy.
Take note: I think the TV-PG rating of the relaunch is bogus. And yet, I am well aware these dark Lassie and Flipper gags could NEVER be done on Fox Kids or Kids WB. And that title would certainly have to be changed as well.
I think this is brilliant. *****.
Groundmouse Day Again:
The original show did this a couple of times too. And it's sort of both important to show and depressing in equal measure. Brain taking over the world is not a pipe dream. It is possible. It's just that he's too incompetent to do it under normal circumstances.
Take this episode. If he hadn't blown his stack with Pinky at the end, and destroyed the proto time machine, he could have ridden a final loop, taken over the world, THEN destroyed the machine, and then he would be Master of the World for good. Maybe Brain isn't insane. But he sure as hell isn't a genius, and is probably stupid deep down.
My favorite bit in the cartoon was the DJ telling us Brain took over the world once simply by claiming he was the ruler and everybody just went with it. I think that's kind of how most people saw the Trump Presidency too. While we are taking shots at Brain's intelligence.
Pssst! Show! Hillary won Colorado! Hillary stand-in FAIL.
I liked it though. ****.
The Island Of Dr. Warneau:
Kind of a dark and gruesome cartoon. And the implications of the Warners having done away with Scratchensniff's brother without him ever being aware of it gives me the willies too.
The joke I liked was Yakko telling his island stand-in that he likes that he's the tallest so they can tell he's the oldest. I would like to think our Yakko has more to him than that (and he does) but the show poking fun at the superficiality of the design is interesting.
The animation was good too.
But that's a darker ending than freaking Murder Pals. **1/2.
Episode Overall: ****.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 7"
Global Warnering:
"Cleft In Twaining" is a good one.
Josh Polar has a great design.
"Here Comes The Sea" is a DAMN good song, considering Randy Rogel had nothing to do with it.
Was the ending too political? Well, yes. But if it wasn't, they couldn't really tackle the topic at all, could they? Maybe they shouldn't have. But the song tells me any uneasy preachy morals are probably worth it. At least this time. ****.
Lawn In Sixty Seconds:
Cynical cartoon that I dislike simply because it makes Murder Pals feel less special. **.
All's Fair In Love And Door:
Julia continues to have the best cartoon character design and animated facial expressions on the show. I hear people taking shots at this show's animation for supposedly being worse than the original series. And in fairness it's been awhile since I've seen it. But I was an animation fan as a teenager. If they had ever animated a character as perfectly back then as they do Julia now, I would have noticed it. No question.
No, I think the series is just seriously underrated as far as animation goes. ****.
Cute Things That Can Kill You:
Again, another differently animated interstitial I'm resentful for because it takes the wind out of the sails of Murder Pals. The noive. *1/2.
Episode Overall: ***1/2.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 8"
WARner GAMES:
Cameos from the Goodfeathers, Slappy Squirrel, and Chicken Boo.
Those guys look like Wakko smells. I love Wakko telling Yakko to punch up for once, why don'cha?
I also laughed when Yakko points out he's technically a Boomer. I totally forgot that. The old-timey nature of the Warners has been largely ignored on the relaunch.
What would be amazing would be if someone on Reddit liked the reboot.
By the way, it's not a reboot, it's a revival. Reboot is the most misused word in popular culture. Animaniacs 2020 does not fit its definition.
Jackass Monkey? Okay, I'll concede that legit earned the ep a TV-PG rating. It's normally unnecessary.
I liked some of the Terminator sequels. I thought Genisys was a lot of fun.
Funny stuff. ****.
Starbox And Cindy: Bedtime:
Surprisingly sweet ending.
I also should probably say that the more I hear it, the more I think the Starbox and Cindy theme tune ("Alien Chorus") is excellent.
Weirdest Cindy line (in a show where she says nothing by weird lines) was her saying she was born with a tail, but it fell off, and that's how you can tell if a person is a monster. She then looks at Starbox's butt and tells him he's just a guy.
Turning these shorts into an arc this season has made them extra interesting. ****1/2.
WARner GAMES2:
The "sucks" and Beastwipe trying to "seduce" Wakko are more TV-PGedness.
I got the battle videogames they were parodying but I kind of think it would have been more fun to instead of seeing the Warners as 3D CGI videogame characters, for them to turn into 8/16-bit sprites instead. Granted that's been done before, but Animaniacs actually HAD a Super Nintendo game, so it would probably have felt more appropriate. ***1/2.
Crumbly's Moment:
This is essentially the Animaniacs version of a Pixar short. It's a bit of a goofy premise, but the animation is cool and it feels shockingly sweet and sincere too. Not too many Animaniacs cartoons I'd call "nice". That qualified. ****1/2.
Episode Overall: ****1/2.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 9"
How The Brain Thieved Christmas: Part One:
Bringing up "A Pinky And The Brain Christmas" was smart. Not only is it great to acknowledge one of the best episodes of the original show, but doing so allowed them to manage expectations about this one and perhaps not have to do something quite as heartwarming. There is some of that here, for sure. But we'll get to that soon enough.
My favorite bit in the first part is Robot Pinky asking if we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys, and Brain deadpanning that's TOO stupid. I don't think everyone in the audience is going to get that joke, but it's hilarious of you are of a certain mind. Let's keep it at that. ****1/2.
Santamaniacs:
I'm not going to say Animaniacs ripped off my Santa from Gilda And Meek, but... No, you know what? I AM gonna say it. Mine was online in 2017. Make THOSE guys defend it. Eh. I'll give them this one because I'm kind: My ripped Santa is way better and funnier. If they really ripped it off, their version would be cooler.
This show makes the excellent musical numbers look effortless. Although truth be told, they may actually be. I have a sneaking suspicion great original musical numbers aren't actually hard. Bob's Burgers just makes them LOOK hard. ***1/2.
How The Brain Thieved Christmas: Part Two:
I love that they do the same thing every Boxing Day: Finish off the nog before it goes bad, and try to take over the world.
There is a slight element of tugging at the heartstrings. But unlike the classic special it doesn't feel genuine. That's actually all right (A Pinky And The Brain Christmas was EXTREMELY unusual for an Animaniacs related project) but it's hard to take Brain's redemption at face value when the characters are literally deconstructing how the Whoville chorus works on a manipulative emotional level out-loud. But Brain doesn't have to love and appreciate Pinky this year. Him accepting part of the holidays is disappointment and regret is another valid response. And I'm glad the two Christmas specials, decades apart, reach different conclusions. And that's okay. Because some Christmases are better than others.
It feels nice to get an Animaniacs Christmas special again, but the fact that it streams on Hulu is a double-edged sword. We get all the episodes at once, but it means the Christmas special drops in February. It was a good one though. ****1/2.
Episode Overall: ****1/2.
Animaniacs "Season 3, Episode 10"
International Mouse Of Mystery:
Good intro. ****.
Aliens Resurrected:
That's sort of the videogame sprites in the opening I was looking for.
And yes, I appreciate the show giving the audience a clearer picture why Hello Nurse and Minerva Mink are gone. Do you really miss them? Really? I'm gonna save my rage against dumb and pointless arguments for the last cartoon, but I think Slappy has me unleashing my inner curmudgeon today.
Also, psst! Warners? The aliens are not actually coming back. ****.
Joe:
Eh. Some of these random jokes are good. This one added nothing. Although the Australian accents gave it a bit of international flavor. But if you want good parents with Aussie accents your best bet is Bluey. **1/2.
The Stickening:
The Gnome In People's Mouths makes his one brief appearance of the season here. I'm less surprised he sat the rest of the season out, and more surprised he was brought back at ALL in season two. ***1/2.
Slappy's Return:
Slappy was a fan demanded character, and I think I like the fact that she thinks that's stupid. It was nice to throw Sherri Stoner this bone when they suspected it was the final episode, but I think Slappy finding fan outrage at her absence annoying entirely appropriate.
The irony is beside the Warners and Pink And The Brain, Slappy Squirrel was the one decent sketch on the original series. Literally everything else was awful. I'm not exaggerating my opinion. I truly think it all sucked, and I did as a teenager too. Goodfeathers, Rita and Runt, Buttons and Mindy, Hip Hippos, Chicken Boo, Katie Kaboom ALL of it sucked ass. If you didn't think so, you were young. Goodfeathers in particular confounded me. Who the HELL was that cartoon geared towards anyways? How is one pigeon repeating the line from Goodfeathers even a joke? How was this such a major recurring sketch they were in the damn theme song? What the freaking hell? Crap.
Slappy always struck me as hit and miss. When she did stuff like takes shots at Bonkers, I cringed, but mostly she was all right. And I felt the same way about the Warners, so I actually didn't really see the logic of not bringing her into the relaunch too. But damn, she was hardly an unimpeachable cartoon genius, no matter what Spielberg smugly told the kids at home at the time via obnoxious, unfunny meta jokes. I was like "Man, get over it!" to the fans whining about her absence. Maybe they didn't bring her back because the old show told every interesting story with her worth telling. That makes more sense than some massive conspiracy on the end of the producers to ruin your childhood and Tom Ruegger's legacy that his kid likes and retweets.
And yeah, I'll tell you one thing I won't miss about the reboot. The dirty laundry being aired behind the scenes. The show getting it from the fans of the old show is understandable. That goes with the territory. The show never had a remote shot so long as Tom Ruegger was turning fans against it. I found the actions of both Ruegger and his son completely unprofessional. And it strikes me as a good thing he wasn't invited back. He obviously is not a good team player or willing to share credit with anyone else. Maybe if the show had his blessing it would have either gotten a bigger fanbase or not been such a lightning rod for fan-hate. But his behavior towards the show was completely unprofessional. You think Don Rosa likes DuckTales 2017 or that Scott Bakula likes Quantum Leap 2022? They don't, but they said their piece, and that was the end of it. They didn't have their kids online nitpicking every little thing and trying to sabotage the show week by week. I'm not gonna miss that. At all.
Also should point out that math does in fact exist. Therefore even if you accepted that the reboot's versions of the Warners and Pinky And The Brain are worse than the original series' take (which is debatable, if you ask me), the fact that all of those awful cartoons I mentioned, that ate up SO much of the original series' runtime, are enirely absent, makes this show ten times better than the original. And that would be so if the Warners and Acme Labs were twice as bad. And I don't think they are, so it pisses me off the guy who let the Hip Hippos on the air is always whining about quality control. Give me a freaking break.
Wait, didn't I say I was gonna ONLY start arguing against stupid stuff in the last cartoon? I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd here, Ringo... Okay, maybe that joke's as played out as the Joe Pesci thing. But see, I'm only telling it once in this review. *****.
Everyday Safety: Giant Adirondack Chair:
Well, that's it, isn't it? I don't want to hear complaints about the ending and how it's cliffhanger and unresolved or the Warners died. Don't be stupid, okay? Please? Just this once, don't make me argue against nonsense. Let's pretend a comedy ending on a joke is acceptable. Because guess what? It is.
As the last cartoon, I guess it will be important to talk about what the show did right and wrong. I know the series probably wished for more seasons, but I don't like that Julia's Arc on Pinky And The Brain wound up totally unresolved, especially since it was just warming up. Similarly, I was delighted Starbox and Cindy sort of became a bit serialized this season. But it just stopped and we're left hanging. I object to that far most than the Warners being hit by a comet they would survived had the series been renewed. Like, I have Starbox QUESTIONS, man. Don't do that to me.
So That's All, Folks. Or more like, Those Are The Facts. ****.
Episode Overall: ****.
Star Trek: Picard "Disengage"
I predict this episode is going to be polarizing. Some people will love it, some people will hate it. Last week was a real crowd-pleaser, so I suspect the fact that this episode's viewpoint and morality is so questionable is gonna piss people off, and make them wonder why we aren't allowed nice things. I get that. I do. But even if a lot of it didn't feel like Star Trek, I thought a lot of it was interesting solely BECAUSE it was Star Trek, and didn't feel like it. People complained about Voyager and Enterprise never showing us anything new. The episode had the bad guys throw a spaceship at the Titan. That's definitely never been done before. Talk crap about the episode if you must, but damn.
I think Sneed is also going to create controversy among fans as he is totally unlike any other Ferengi. The main thing I was concerned about hearing there was going to be a Ferengi, was thinking the show might do like Discoery and get the make-up entirely wrong. No, the part of Sneed that feels wrong is that he doesn't remotely speak like a Ferengi. Ferengi speak in very arch tones that run the gamut from confused to malevolent. Even Quark, the most human Ferengi spoke that way. Sneed speaks not just like a human, but a 21st Century human, which is gonna piss people off.
For me, instead of declaring that a huge mistake, my inclination is to wonder why that is. Seven Of Nine got rid of her Borg cadences in her speaking voice, and it's hinted that Sneed is really into vintage Earth. It makes me wonder if he adjusted the way he speaks to fit in better with the galaxy at large, the way Seven did. And the reason I'm wondering this is because it seems like he has (or had before he died) legit juice in the underworld. Most criminal Ferengi we've seen on both Next Generation and Deep Space Nine are considered jokes by other criminals and not taken seriously. Maybe Sneed is acting like a scary human from a scary period on our history because it scares people and makes them take him seriously. Instead of me instantly screaming at the show that they are doing wrong by the Ferengi, I'm wondering how Sneed's way of speaking came to be.
Vadek is a pretty cool villain in that she has an actual personality, which human criminals were never permitted during the Roddenberry / Berman era. I don't see why. Making her funny and interesting, and having her say crazy and alarming things isn't making me think less of 24th Century humans, or worse, romanticize her actions. I feel like Roddenberry and Berman kept things boring for no good reason at all, and only seeing stuff like this makes me realize how much we were missing then.
I love that Raffi's handler was Worf. Good twist.
Picard getting around to realizing the truth about Jack, and Beverly confirming he's his son was done extremely well. Personally I though Picard's interrogation of him was terrific writing.
I admit I don't like the fact that this season doesn't have a main title sequence at the beginning. The credits are saved for after the episode like a movie. I hope this doesn't become a habit with Star Trek shows because Star Trek is NOT a movie franchise, it's a television one. The main defenses of the show doing that this year is that first off, the theme songs in the first two seasons sucked. Season 2 was actually quite a bit better, but I could never get over or accept how unmemorable the first season's theme tune was. So it's not like Picard is missing out by playing the decent Generations / Next Generation Themes at the end. But the real selling point of doing it after the episode is that they aren't spoiling anybody's surprise first appearance, which is clever. Needless to say, this shouldn't be a problem for any other Trek series or season, so I want everyone else to continue doing theme songs and opening title sequences.
This episode is going to get crap for being outside of Star Trek. I think the ways and reasons it's outside Star Trek are personally fascinating if you ask me. My fandom response is usually less "This doesn't fit" and "I wonder how they made this fit". But maybe that's just me. ****.
Star Wars: The Bad Batch "Retrieval"
I like the constant contrasts the episode does between how Makko and the Bad Batch do business and treat their respective crews. Truthfully, it feels a bit heavy-handed, and like Bennie should be getting the message sooner than he does. But it's obviousness can be forgiven because it IS a kids show, and I only think it's obvious as an adult viewer. For kids the clarifications might be necessary, and I think the contrasts are certainly not going overboard in preachiness either.
I like Bennie saying they obviously weren't Epsiem miners and Omega quipping he stole the wrong ship.
I never heard of the guy who played Mokko before but he has a great voice.
The cool thing about Hunter's trapeze rescue of Omega is that she trusts him to make it. It's a crazy stunt for a kid to do unless they totally trust the adult. And it's edge-of-your-seat exciting for that reason.
A good week, I think. This obviously isn't "Andor" or anything, but not everything Star Wars needs to be. It was Good Enough. ***1/2.
Spidey And His Amazing Friends "Pirate Plunder Blunder / Bad Bot"
Pirate Plunder Blunder
So apparently nobody can tell the Pirate with the green skin is Green Goblin. The people in this Universe are apparently dumb enough to fall for that. What is an open question is if the producers are cynical (and wrong) enough to believe kids in the audience will fall for it. Because it IS kinda played as a reveal and surprise.
And that level of stupidity reminds me this show and shows like it don't have to be as bad as stupid as they are. They simply choose to be. 0.
Bad Bot:
Case in point: The episode feels the weak need to overexplain that Trace-E and Fake Trace-E are two separate beings who are on different sides. It says something bad about your animated show, when things are so overexplained and explicit in dialogue, it sound even overly obvious than if it were a radio play. And this stuff is about an essentially mute character as well, so making the dialogue do ALL the heavy lifting there is especially egregious.
Again, I believe the only reason this show is this bad is because Marvel and Disney don't believe a toddler show designed to sell toys actually needs to be any good. That's the only reason it sucks. I am positive if the writers of this show were asked to write a good show, they could do it. But the mandate is that Disney prefers a stupid show that talks down to kids. It sells more toys. Am I cynical enough or what?
Cartoons back in the 1980's were horrendous. But mostly due to incompetence on the part of writers, animators, and producers. As far as bad cartoons like this in 2023 go? I actually believe they are this bad on purpose. Doesn't that idea just piss you off? It pisses me off. 0.
Episode Overall: 0.
The Flash "Rogues Of War"
It was decent. I liked more than I didn't. But still, I had a couple of gripes.
I love Barry realizing the correct solution was to plan to give Hartley the device and then pay off the rest of the Rogues. Him expecting them to do it for free, was actually silly.
Of course we all knew the Red Death was Ryan, or at least a version of her, but Batwoman recently having gone missing sets off alarm bells. Smart narrative move for the show.
Do you know what wasn't? Mark's betrayal. It is ill-advised to make him a series regular if he's going to be working for Red Death. They are gonna have to move unlikely storytelling mountains to keep him in most of the episodes anyways. Bad idea.
Also I was digging Keon last week, until I realized the show simply created a character completely unlike the other two Snows, and have no idea what to do with her. Her role in the show is down to giving relationship advice. One of the smartest / most powerful members of Team Flash has essentially turn into Neelix for Star Trek: Voyager. Another ill-advised plot idea.
So it's clear they are not keeping Goldface an antagonist. He wouldn't have learned Barry was the Flash otherwise. It means he was either going to join the good guys, or get killed off by the end of the episode. Joining the good guys is more interesting.
I expected Hartley to get killed off based on what the chick in the mask was signing to him. You shouldn't use that kind of dialogue if you aren't gonna go through with it. It was a little more more scary and disturbing than simple "I'mma kick your ass" trash talk.
The episode was fine though. I'll allow it. ***1/2.
The Simpsons "Carl Carlson Rides Again"
The Simpsons has been on the air for so long that I believe its long-term health is in danger as long as they only try to come up with new Homer and Marge, Lisa and Bart, or Lisa and Homer stories. There is only so much you do with those characters, and since the show refuses actual character growth, having those character learn the same things over and over again is tiring.
So recently The Simpsons decided to see if centering episodes around minor or joke characters could possibly be interesting. This experiment has been a truly mixed bag. I want to slap Al Jean over the head for ever consenting to giving Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel his own episode. But the question remained: Could Carl Carlson, as a character famously devoid of a single personality trait outside of some vague homoeroticism with Lenny, carry an entire episode on his own? Frankly the idea probably wouldn't have worked before Alex Desert took over the character from Hank Azaria due to racial sensitivities (which is ironic because Carl was one of the few characters of color, along with Lou, that Azaria voiced with no offensive racial stereotyping whatsoever). But when Desert took over the role, maybe the fact that Carl is missing his own racial identity would be a good hook for an episode.
I am impressed and appreciate the show remembers that Carl was adopted and raised by white Icelandic parents. Not only had I forgotten that, nobody would have begrudged them for ignoring it. I don't just mean retconning. I mean totally pretending it never happened. But despite the show's continuity usually being shady, I like that they actually remembered one of the few unusual facts they already established about Carl's history. And regardless of whether you think the recasting of Carl was necessary or not, you have to understand they can't have a story about Carl exploring his black identity while he's voiced by a white guy. (The Cleveland Show did it with Mike Henry and it was just as appalling as you could imagine). Do I think the recasting was unnecessary myself? I think Carl is one of the few people of color Azaria voices without malice in his heart. But the fact that that malice exists for near everybody else means it best to move on from that specific actor. The good news is I think this episode is a turning point in that Desert is starting to sound a LOT more like Azaria than he did. And I was always annoyed that Family Guy went for a total unknown who sounded exactly like Mike Henry, and The Simpsons just opened the trusty voice actor rolodex and got "sort of, maybe, if he has a cold". In fairness I'll get used to Desert as Carl. I probably won't ever get used to Kevin Michael Richardson as Dr. Hibbert.
I like that Dr. Hibbert goes to the barbershop on Their Side Of Town, because it's been established in the past he's a Republican. Maybe Hibbert is due his own focus episode because just based on the contradictory things he does, and places we've seen him in, I still can't figure the guy out after 30 years.
I like that none of Carl's friends want to talk about his racial identity crisis. The entire selling point of Carl for them is that he never talks about his blackness and makes them uncomfortable and guilty. As such he is afforded the same privilege as the white guys in the group. For once, this not an exaggeration. He's not merely treated as an equal among the Moe's Patrons or Power Plant workers. He's considered an extremely respected member of that specific clique, probably second in deference to only Homer himself. Moe and Lenny might think they're Number Two material, but nobody really listens to or respects what they have to say. As far Carl goes, his opinions have gravitas. And the fact that his friends don't see his color makes them especially uncomfortable when he asks them to.
I like his new girlfriend for sure. She one of those characters like Superintendent Chalmers who actually talks like a real person. But there is still a cartoony archness behind Chalmers, particularly when dealing with Skinner. Carl's new girlfriend seem Earthy, real, and grounded. Totally refreshing. She yells at the TV for him to mention the name of the restaurant, and when he does, the place erupts in cheers. That felt authentic to me in a way Carl being surprised people in barbershops talk trash to each other did not.
Speaking of the barbershop, I not only like that Bart gets his hair cut on Their Side Of Town, but that he's on a first named basis with Clarence who likes the boy even though he's white. Why does Bart get his hair cut here? If you ever saw the cartoon in the Tracy Ullmann Show of him using Homer's elderly white barber, you might have an inkling. That was damn near 35 years ago, but having seen it makes me totally unsurprised Bart has searched elsewhere for his look. I don't like too much current Bart stuff but I liked this scene.
I think the thing I didn't like about the episode is that it never gave a good or plausible reason why Carl's parents abandoned him. On the tape they clearly loved him. So the doorstep thing makes even LESS sense. If I were Carl that would raise MORE questions and recriminations from me, not less. But The Simpsons is a 22 minute show, and they gotta wrap things up in the allotted time. I'm just pointing out they didn't wrap up this specific thing WELL. Because they didn't.
If the show wants to do an episode for Eddie and Lou next, that's a great idea. How about the Old Sea Captain? Or damn it, Dr. Hibbert? The show may have been on the air for 30 years, but it still has a TON of characters it still hasn't fully explored.
Just no more Otto, episodes, okay, Matt Selman? Those just plain suck, so don't bother trying.
But I liked this week and thought it was a worthy attempt of the show branching out. ****1/2.
The Great North "Sister Pact Too Adventure"
A mixed bag.
I like that Honeybee insists the Ghost reference is a good thing. Because I personally don't see it that way. Her and Judy have some Swayze movie binges in their future though.
I love the Trump pinata.
The thing is, I hated Beef's story. I thought it sucked. What Zelda did is played for laughs but it is the most inconsiderate thing another person could do to a person they barely know. The most detestable part about it is she does it KNOWING it's bogus, but she's clearly hoping that Beef is too chicken to correct her. The thing that pisses me off is he almost is. There is actually a debate involved, which makes me absolutely furious.
When Alyson says "She seems nice," yeah, that's a great laughline, but it's a reminder that this show's greatest strength has the potential to be a great weakness. The characters on the show are unusually nice. But that can lead to bad people taking advantage of them. Judy and Honeybee can take care of themselves when the feminist scammers lower the milk balloons, but it pisses me off that Beef is too nice to tell this rude wretch, "Get the hell out of my house. I never want to see you again. You are pathetic." Granted Bob Belcher would never say those words. But he'd also never let her in the house. (She'd only get in if Linda and the kids were there.) But the drawback to having nice characters is they can be portrayed as total losers and doormats. And the reason The Great North is so popular is because the cast is so nice. And despite taking place in a red state, it's nonpolitical, and whatever weak political stances it does take (like Wolf being a fan of Michelle Obama) are not the ones you'd expect. It's SUCH an easy show to like and enjoy, when it's just the cast goofing with each other (see the pickle runner at the end). Having an outsider barge in and create a crisis none of them want or deserve is not actually funny. It's annoying. It's infuriating. And it's the selling point of the show being used as a drawback, which is a red flag for any good show. It doesn't qualify as a shark jump. But the fact that it happened tells me the writers might believe the episode was dramatically interesting, and do it again a LOT. Peggy Hill wasn't originally envisioned to be the obnoxious buffoon should wound up as on King Of The Hill. But it got a HUGE laugh in the writers' room, and from that point forward that basically likeable show was essentially ruined. The good news for The Great North is that the show does not seem to be looking to make the Tobins themselves meaner or stupider. But this episode means they could be exploring conflicting them with those sorts of characters more often which is a HELL of a mistake.
I liked the stuff with Judy and Honeybee. I did. But I was disgusted with the Zelda stuff. **1/2.
Bob's Burgers "Stop! Or My Mom Will Sleuth!"
This is one of those shows that can still surprise you on occasion, but this wasn't one of those episodes.
I guess the one line I really liked was Ms. Selbo asking Linda if she's never seen interesting things. It is both the wrong question (Linda is b.s.ing her), and considering Linda's interests and what impresses her, the most right question anyone who doesn't know her could ever actually ask.
The song sucked, per usual. The show needs to stop this. It feels like a cry for help at this point.
The show's done better but it's also done worse. ***1/2.
Family Guy "Single White Dad"
I've been having a minor problem with Family Guy this season, and I figured I'd take this review to talk about it.
Except this specific episode was a gem. Maybe next week then.
I think Donkey Kong is a better game than it's described as here. But the truth is, it WOULD make a killer house. You can call Peter the worst father on television. He is. He's also the only one who would ever do Donkey Kong House. While we're keeping score of the important things.
Lois rubbing Brian's face in the reality of "The English Patient" was cathartic on every level. I love it when the show gives Lois empowering moments against Brian's horribleness, and since he's now constantly horrible, they are pleasurably frequent. But yeah, the dude sucks, and watching her literally rub his face in how much he sucks feels DAMN good. It's not just the audience who hates and is sick of Brian. It's not just us at all.
I love that everyone always yawns when Becky talks about Scott. I especially the last bit when we realized it's not just Peter.
What would Scott think? Give Becky a break. She was acquitted. That is a freaking fabulous joke.
Lois pointing out Becky could do better is something that really shouldn't need to be said. In other words the entire premise of the episode was a stretch.
Kirby makes a good name for pink videogame marshmallows.
Yeti Coolers are the right coolers for guys without personalities.
When Quagmire says that golf takes 6 hours to play, out of town, in a different shirt, suddenly the entire sport sounds suspect, doesn't it? Really insightful and alarming joke. I hope every husband who makes their wives watch this show laughs EXTRA nervously at that joke, while darting their eyes away from them. They're onto them now. Gulp!
The climax was a wonderful comedy of errors. Bonnie and the thing with the washing machine was an amazingly goofy and random complication to the whole thing. Well timed comedy nonsense.
I love that the Prowler is still on the roof during the last shot.
Hilarious episode. I'll save my gripe sesh for next week. *****.
Night Court "Train Court"
I forgot Dan was from Louisiana.
I know the old show was pretty stupid. But there's no reason the new show needs to be this stupid in 2023. Maybe I'd actually cut them some slack there if it was ALWAYS this stupid. But it isn't. So I'll complain about it instead. **.
Law & Order "Fear And Loathing"
For once the case went all right but I can't help feeling like the outcome of Shaw's story is nothing but a defense of the Blue Wall. If the lesson is you can't fight it, that means the writers are defending it. There's no other way to read that.
The thing that pisses me off the most is both Cosgrove and Dixon tell Shaw that no matter what he decides, they have his back. And then... They don't. It's infuriating.
This show has problems. **1/2.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit "King Of The Moon"
Richard Belzer died? I had no idea. Well, they certainly picked the right episode to pay tribute to him. There aren't many Law & Order episodes I'd call beautiful, but this definitely qualified. I'm amazed at the timing that they were able to pay tribute to Richard with this.
As for Valasco, I like that unlike the Mothershow, there is accountability for cops' bad actions. But let me blunt. Him sitting on Chili's name is a luxury he should not be afforded at all. If I were Carisi, until he came clean, I'd charge him with the murder himself. Why? Because if you commit a crime with somebody else, and they murder somebody, you get charged with murder too. That's how the law works. And the show acting like him not pulling the trigger exonerates him, is another troubling recent example of the franchise's writers no longer understanding the law.
My favorite bit was him asking who they were interrogating and Fin's all, "You." Really, this specific revelation seems so huge it's kind of weird that the show has been sitting on it for a couple weeks.
Was this the first episode of Law & Order EVER to use heavy visual effects? Damn, it actually might have been. There might have been some CGI explosions here and there before this, but this was legit sci-fi effects, even if they weren't obviously big budgeted.
Another difference between this and the awful Mothershow. Carisi declining to charge Pence because he believed he was innocent is not something Price would ever do. Price has noted more than once that finding out how and why the crime occurred doesn't matter, which is the stupidest thing ever for a prosecutor to believe, and is totally on-brand what a turd of a person and writer Rick Eid is. Olivia says Carisi is using his cop instincts. But really, getting to the truth of the crime is what EVERY part of the law should actually be about.
And truly, the stuff with Bradley Whitford as Pence was by turns heartbreaking and wonderful. I don't how and why God decided to take Richard last week, so THIS perfect, tear-jerker of an episode carried his dedication card. But damn it, it nearly makes me sob even before finding out the guy who played Munch died. *****.
Law & Order: Organized Crime "The Wild And The Innocent"
I thought that was great.
The thing I really responded to was how on the level both Stabler and Carver were with each other. Stabler lets him know after this is all over, he's going to jail. And Carver understands it and accepts his help to get his daughter back anyways.
But as much honor as Carver clearly has is as morally bankrupt as the other two gang factions seem. This is supposed to be organized crime? Pure chaos!
I love Stabler and Bell's scene at the end. What I hope Stabler can appreciate (and it is left unsaid) is that no matter how guilty he feels about the last time he saw him before this, because of what happened in this episode their relationship was STILL left off on a much healthier place, cop and criminal or not. That's not nothing.
I find the fact that Bruce is routinely mortified by his obvious crush on Jet all kinds of adorable. If he were a creep, the crush wouldn't be cute. Because every true feeling that spills out of him is accidental instead, it's a bit endearing instead. Think Felicity Smoak. Which is a tough dynamic to pull off with Bruce a dude and Jet a woman, but I buy it.
Great episode. ****1/2.
Insomnia by Stephen King
I'm giving this a lukewarm review, but in fairness, I want to point out that this specific novel is something I tend to go back and forth about the quality of it each time I reread it. Sometimes I love it. Sometimes I don't. I believe one of the times I read it I actually cried at the ending (which is high praise from me). My ultimate opinion of the book tends to vary based upon the mood I was in when I read it. I wasn't in a bad mood this time at all. But I was in a bit of a no-nonsense mood, which happens a lot during a creative period of mine, and yeah, I kind of noticed the flaws in the dialogue this time out. And this happened to be the time I decided to put a review to paper so keep in mind this review is of The Random, rather than The Purpose.
One of the things I notice immediately after not having read it in a few years is that in the 1990's King had a different viewpoint and plan for the fictional town of Derry back then. The idea here seems to be that it's slowly healing from the horrors of Pennywise from "IT", but there is still a dangerous undercurrent to it. Books like "11/22/63" and "Gwendy's Final Task" take the stance that Derry is irredeemably rotten and nothing will ever truly change. In Gwendy's level of the Tower it seems like Pennywise was never defeated either. I have a hard time accepting King's later decision, just knowing there ARE good people in Derry like Ralph Roberts, Lois Chasse, Joe Wyzer, John Leydecker, and Dorrance Marstaller. A town with a bunch of people like this mingled in it, is simply put, NOT evil incarnate. And I accepted the judgment of the Jake Epping of "11/22/63" BECAUSE it was before Pennywise was defeated for good. But really, I'm having a hard time accepting Derry as King's version Hell In Maine. "Dreamcatcher" makes it hard too, although in fairness, that is a far worse book. But I'll review that later on.
Some of the sites I post reviews on don't allow political talk but for this review, I must offer some insights about the ideas the book is talking about. There isn't any choice. To anyone reading this review whose sensibilities I offend with the following observations, instead of telling me how wrong I am. and starting a flame war that will get us both in trouble, just know that I accept the idea that I could be wrong. The following paragraphs are wholly dedicated to the phrase "Your Mileage May Vary".
This is a book clearly from the period of King's career where he felt the need to stand up for abused and mistreated women. And as far as Helen Deepneau's arc goes, he does fine. But King's politics from this era are a work in progress. I don't think King in 2023 would remotely reach the same conclusion about Susan Day's visit to the convention center that John Leydecker does. You get the feeling King uses Leydecker as his surrogate in his disdain for somebody coming to town and "stirring the pot". Not only are abortion rights no longer as safe as they were in the early 1990's when the book was written (which admittedly King had no way of predicting) I find Leydecker's hatred of Day "stirring up trouble" lazy bothsiderism, that effected many liberals of the era. I sure as hell suffered from it and I was not alone. Bill Clinton's entire Presidency and success was built upon an idea called "triangulation" that meant accepting conservative frames and working within them so to not alienate moderate voters.
And as far as the scenario in the book as shown is concerned, that's wrong. A woman has every right to give a speech to a town without fear of there being a terrorist mass bombing. It is not incumbent on the feminist group to stay silent so as not to provoke antiabortion terrorists. In a just and free society, they should be allowed to gather and say what they want. There would be no false equivalence in reality in Helen's pained determination that if they cancel the rally the bad guys win. King is trying to get the reader to believe that winning boils down to nothing but a team sport. But when you add terrorism and murder to the mix, not only is winning a necessity, but Helen's team winning is the outcome the moral person would want. And for the record, prolifers reading this, the same would hold true if Susan Day's followers were the violent terrorists intent on murdering the Friends to Life. King tries to say "This can't happen because Derry isn't like any other town." You know what, Uncle Stevie? It is. I am also willing to bet that as horrible as you portray the people in later books, Derry is probably a HELL of a lot nicer and more civilized that MANY real-world towns in the Keystone Earth version of the United States. King conceived that Greg Stillson was the worst politician you could ever imagine. And that's why 2016 stunned him so much. When it comes to horrible things in the imagination, King knows what buttons to push. When it comes to horrible things in reality, it always turns out King thought WAY too small in hindsight.
I don't like Bill McGovern. Which is good, because I don't think King does either. The sense I get from his relationship to Ralph is that he is VERY unhealthy for him. Which leads to their final fight before McGovern croaks, and also Ralph realizing Bill was full of crap about Lois' gossipy vapidity.
King Connections Of Note: I do this for every book that has them, and most of them do. But I'll list off the couple of other King books the story references before talking about The Dark Tower connections in earnest. This is considered a Dark Tower-related book, but considering how The Dark Tower ended, it probably shouldn't be. Robin Furth is of the opinion The Eyes Of The Dragon doesn't fit into Mid-World, and must exist on a different level of the Tower. I believe the same of Insomnia.
The biggest references of course go back to "IT". Not just about mentioning that Derry is not like other towns, and that there is a darkness under the surface, but many of the characters and premises are mentioned. Mike Hanlon appears a few times, Ben Hanscomb, Adrian Mellon, and Butch Bowers are mentioned, and in my favorite bit, during Ralph's fight with the Crimson King the word "Deadlights" flashes in his mind with him having no idea (and never finding out) what it means. The Crimson King also tells Ralph there is a rich history of shapeshifters in Derry. Many of the locations from "IT" are revisited as well.
The most interesting King connection to me however is seeing Gage Creed's sneaker in Atropos' lair. It means the events of "Pet Sematary" were never supposed to happen, and as far as causing random death and destruction goes, Atropos certainly got his money's worth there.
Time to talk about the Dark Tower stuff. Roland Deschain actually has a cameo at the end and a version of the Crimson King (utterly unlike his interpretation in both the final novel and the comic books) confronts Ralph at the end. But the reason the novel refuses to fit into the canon is because King utterly changed gears and his mind about what to do with Patrick Danville. According to this book, in 18 years Patrick Danville will die saving the lives of two men, one of whom is going to be crucial to saving the Tower and the Beams. Now this might have happened later ON, but those two men are NOT Roland Deschain and Eddie Dean, as Insomnia readers might have guessed. Eddie is already dead by the time Patrick meets Roland and Susannah, and the Tower has already ostensibly been saved. If there is an additional threat Roland has missed and Patrick has to take care of later on, we don't see it. King refuses to tell us Patrick's ultimate fate in the last book, but the last time we see him he is actually alive. And I don't believe he ever saved Roland's life either. If anything, he was a hindrance to Roland's remaining Tet, and got Oy killed.
King sort of cleverly pointed out this discrepancy himself in the final Dark Tower book when Roland goes to Keystone Earth to meet the Tet Corporation for the final time. Mose Carver's granddaughter hands Roland a copy of "Insomnia" and claims out of all the books Stephen King has written, this one will probably be the key to Roland saving the Tower once and for all. And Roland, God bless his simple heart, dumps the book in the trash the second he leaves Keystone Earth. Why? Because it "feels tricksy". Isn't that the best and most infuriating way King could possibly have disowned Insomnia's connection to The Dark Tower? It's like Discordia was messing with him for that one book, and Roland knew it. But If I want to be perfectly frank, it doesn't actually impress me. What would have impressed me more is if King hadn't written himself into that corner with Patrick to begin with. He wrote himself a pretty audacious out there, no question. But it's annoying he wasn't competent enough to write "Insomnia" so it would fit in the first place.
This go-round, I see the flaws clearly. The love story between Ralph and Lois seems particularly painful to me, and I feel like a LOT of his love stories from the 1990's and early 2000's are kind of sappy, and poorly written. By the way, this includes "Lisey's Story", King's personal favorite book. What he considers empowering moments, I find kind of cringe. It's also something you can sometimes forgive. It's present in "The Library Policeman" for example, but it's such a minor part, I didn't even need to bring it up. I love that King is an optimist, and it is refreshing that a writer of scary books enjoys giving readers nice moments. I just wish the nice stuff was better written at this stage of the game. He does get better at it later on. The romance in "11/22/63" is pure perfection, and kills me dead every time. This lovey-dovey stuff here just makes me want to point my finger in my mouth and make sarcastic gagging noises. I wish I could put it kinder than that, but I cannot.
Another reason I have a hard time accepting "Insomnia" as Dark Tower canon is because even though I BELIEVE The Random and The Purpose come up again (although I could be wrong) Atropos, Clotho, and Lachesis never show up in any other King story. I might be misremembering it, but I think they MIGHT have been mentioned in either "Rose Madder" or "Desperation" as an Easter Egg for the reader (and we'll find that out soon enough) but the mention of them was I believe done in the form of the Greek sisters instead of The Little Bald Doctors. But if "Insomnia" kept the Beams up, they'd be recurring characters like Maturin the Turtle, or even Randall Flagg. The "physicians of last resort" (which is a fabulous job description for them) should not ONLY appear in JUST this book if it IS supposed to be central to the mythology of "The Dark Tower".
I'll give that a passing grade, but little more. I like it more than Stephen King does, solely because I see value in Helen's independence and getting away from the abusive Ed. I will talk a LITTLE bit more in Rose Madder's review about why King should not be dismissing the real-life women books like this and that one help just because they left him a bit creatively unfulfilled. It's actually all right. ***.
