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matt_zimmerAlso reviews for the latest Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Shorts, the latest episodes of Star Trek: Lower Decks, She-Hulk: Attorney At Law, and Spidey And His Amazing Friends, the two episode series premiere of The Lord Of The Rings: The Rings Of Power, the latest episode of Harley Quinn, the Bob's Burgers theatrical short, the latest episodes of Mike Judge's Beavis And Butt-Head, and Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal, and the novel 'Salem's Lot.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Runaway Training"
I had totally forgotten how lame and stupid this cartoon was. This episode was quite the helpful refresher.
And do you know who Kitsune is at the end? Elmyra. THAT is the obnoxious level of company she keeps with that. *.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Game Dogs"
I've never really read Usagi Yojimbo but I'm guessing this show has veered far outside of the premise at this point.
I like the Yokai telling Lord Kigane that he was a three-eyed clam and he needed to lower his expectations.
It wasn't great, but at least it was better than the first episode. **1/2.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "The Fuzzy Pony"
Usagi Yojimbo may have been centered around a cartoon rabbit, but it was never as obnoxiously cutesy and cloying as this.
Do you know what bugs the crap out of me? This nonsense was written by JLU's Matt Wayne, an actual great writer. I and The Universe are not going to thank this show for making Matt Wayne suck. **.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Adventures In Ninjasitting"
It was dumb but I laughed at the bit of Tetsujin saying that kids sometimes confuse old people for smart because they are old. It's funny because it's true. **1/2.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Interdimensionals"
I'll tell you what I like: I like that Usagi takes former enemies and turns them into allies. That is something I respond to in fiction. I enjoyed the board game at the end for that reason.
I also like that Usagi can't wear the sunglasses because his ears are in the wrong place. Good thinking there, writers. That would have escape many cartoons' notice. (See the Energizer Bunny for the most obvious and stupidest example).
I kinda liked this one. ***1/2.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Warbotto"
Tetsujin was an even bigger nuisance than usual this episode.
I like that O-Dokura was allowed to be useful at the end.
I also liked when Usagi correctly pointed out Chizu's idea to destroy all the robots wasn't a plan, but a goal.
The stuff with the bubbles was stupid though. I don't really take anything on this show seriously because of stuff like that. **1/2.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Willow Branch"
I liked the ending for the ghosts, and I like that when O-Dokura was given his new body he didn't turn on the heroes, and still kept the peace. I like the fact that the show pushes for peace so hard. It's not a show I like very much. But I very much like that part of it.
It actually makes sense Tetsujin is a good fighter. It also makes sense as to why we've never seen it before.
The only part I really didn't like was the talking swords bit at the end. A little too silly, even for this show. I think my main objection is that it should have been a serious moment, and they went for the joke instead, which is frustrating. But I very much liked the rest of the episode. ****.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "A Chizu Stands Alone"
This show is very badly written, especially as far as dialogue goes, but I really REALLY respond to the themes about self-sacrifice and wanting to do right by the greater good instead of what is easy and expedient. I thought it was very cool when Kagehito gives Usagi his blessing to cut the Clovis on the Keystone, even knowing it would doom his people, and Usagi ultimately refuses to do it because he knows that.
I was impressed Chizu already knew who the spy was, but the show did wrong by having ALL the Ninjas turn on her at the end. I was as disappointed as she was.
Kitsune got the funniest line. I liked her relating the time she once insisted puppetry would save the world, and she was told to keep her voice down because they were in a library.
Personally, I would have cast Stan Sakai as Usagi Yojimbo, whether his voice was right for the role or not. For the record.
It was all right. ***.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Eggs!"
I loved that. I see value in the show. Whether the writing is beneath my personal standards or not, I love the idea of the show teaching kids we all have free will, and can make our own decisions, and effect the world in a positive way if we choose to. There is no such thing as destiny or inevitability when it comes to our choices and our behavior. Even for robots. And that's a refreshing moral for a kiddie show. I'll sit through 10 badly written episodes to see it. No question.
So yeah, I loved that idea. *****.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Invasion!"
Fine finale. I want to give the show credit for something. Kagehito has a VERY scary character design and voice. I admire the show for resisting the urge to turn him into a bad guy at the end and say he was faking his redemption. The reason I appreciate it goes beyond the fact that it would be cliched and badly written. But I like that the show has been talking up making good and noble choices all season, and refuses to undercut the moral for any reason.
And no, I don't think the show is very good quality-wise. But its positive messages are sorely lacking in most other kids shows. The other kiddie cartoon show whose themes I approved of on this level was She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power. Now She-Ra was a great show and this isn't. But I similarly think kids can take something positive from this too. ****.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Shorts "C.O.W.A.B.U.N.G.A."
Fun game. ****.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Shorts "Cucumber-Mikey Vs. Manticat"
Hilarious. Donnie knows they should save him but he can't take his eyes off him. ****1/2.
Star Trek: Lower Decks "The Least Dangerous Game"
This was an average episode, but this is a good show, and an average episode of a good show is always eminently watchable. I don't feel the need to do a full deconstruction, but I do need to address one thing. The show did NOT need to get back J.G. Hertzler for Martok. No other animated show would have bothered. But this show cares. And that makes all the difference.
Also nice hear that Martok is still Chancellor. The shady Klingons from last year's finale had me a bit worried about the Empire, but if Martok is still in charge, things'll be all right. ***1/2.
She-Hulk: Attorney At Law "The People Vs. Emil Blonsky"
Sigh. And the Marvel Studio series decline starts right on cue. I'm disappointed but not surprised.
I will say this. Because the series is a doofy comedy, even if it does become as underwhelming as every other Marvel show that limped to the barn, it at least won't turn into a bummer to watch. I still can't believe that happened to Ms. Marvel and I'm still steamed about it.
I loved Wong's appearance, and frankly I love that the show is giving Blonsky a genuine redemption arc, and even came up with a plausible reason for the prison break. It was so plausible, it was already set up! I was like "Oh, yeah!"
I'm giving that a solid three and a half stars, but I really think I should be giving it a lower grade on general principle. But this show's decline will not be Moon Knight or Ms. Marvel's decline. So that's something at least. Not much, but still. ***1/2.
Spidey And His Amazing Friends "Bootsie's Day Out / Trouble At Tony's"
Bootsie's Day Out:
Bootsie is still cute but I'm already tired of Black Cat learning the same damn lesson every episode. **1/2.
Trouble at Tony's:
I still maintain Stamos would be an excellent live-action Tony Stark. ***.
Episode Overall: **1/2.
The Lord Of The Rings: The Rings Of Power "A Shadow Of The Past"
Wow. That was super interesting. If Game Of Thrones and House Of The Dragon come up several times in an uncomplimentary fashion during this review, don't be shocked.
New Line Cinema IS one of the production studios here. Considering both Galadriel and Elrond are portrayed as younger as they were in the films, this show is so far part of my movie head-canon. If and when they start contradicting stuff, I'll reassess. For instance, the differences in the Hobbit holes and dwellings, bothered me until it's revealed they are nomads at this point and moving from place to place. It makes sense the holes are far less elaborate than those in Hobbiton.
It's very difficult to believe this was done on a TV budget. It is the most lavish show I have ever seen, including stuff from Marvel Studios and Star Wars.
I think more than one person has suggested they are more interested in this show than House Of The Dragon. It's definitely a far better and more interesting show. Let also offer another opinion about why it is better than that AND Game Of Thrones. It's not tough to watch. Bad things happen, but the show doesn't punish the viewer for liking the characters. We are allowed moments of hope, and well, GOOD. And that means while House Of The Dragon is a bummer, this show is entertaining. This show fills me wonder instead of dread.
A few other things to note. I am one of those people who have read the entire Silmarillion, not because it was a good book, or because I am a huge Tolkien fan, but simply because I'm weird. Somebody told me once that if a person can sit down and read the entire Silmarillion they can pretty much read anything. I haven't read a phone book or the Bible cover to cover, but I DID read the entire Star Trek Encyclopedia as well, so I think I'm well-suited to believe that about myself. But Morgoth was a pretty big deal there, and even if we don't see him, he's mentioned for the first time.
Also we get a good and fascinating glimpse of Valinor, and better context for the Elves going to the West to Grey Havens. It's a combination of Eden and Heaven in my mind. The one thing I'm unclear on is why it's hinted nobody can ever return. Obviously the Elves had to actually leave to fight the war in Middle-Earth. I'm not sure why nobody can ever come back again.
Nice to see faces of color. This will upset people, but maybe those people SHOULD be upset. There really was no reason for Jackson to cast white people exclusively. Tolkien didn't spend much (if any) time describing skin tones on humans, Elves, and Hobbits. The fact that they were all supposed to be white was an assumption on both Jackson and the fans' part. I don't recall a single thing in the Big Four books or The Silmarillion that said everybody is white.
This is the first episode, so things can change. So far the violence is gorier than the movie. But the language is mild (the closest thing to cursing is a human saying "Bloody") and (so far) the romance is quite chaste (also consistent with the franchise). This IS the first episode, and things can change, but I can safely say there won't be Dwarves dropping F-bombs or full frontal Elves. Which will be nice.
I don't like giving Pilots five stars too often because they ARE the kitchen sink, and a lousy way to establish a baseline. But if I had seen that as a movie I would have given it five stars. So yeah, I'm gonna have to rethink and adjust my curve here at some point (probably). *****.
The Lord Of The Rings: The Rings Of Power "Adrift"
The Stranger is obviously Mithrandir. It would explain Gandalf's weird affinity for Hobbits. Predict he is gonna heal Nori's father's foot unexpectedly.
The Silmarils were mentioned.
I'm thinking the Dark Sauron-looking blade that Theo is hiding might wind up the material the Rings are made out of, specifically the One Ring. Theo's hoarding and secretive behavior over it it a big clue about that.
Mistake: Drawf females are supposed to have beards. Perhaps off-putting on a TV show, but they were shown in the Hobbit movies.
I'm digging this show. If I had any complaints, it's that the runtime feels a little long. But that's true for the movies too. ****1/2.
Harley Quinn "Batman Begins Forever"
Honestly? That was one of the best premises for a Batman story I have EVER seen. I think of "Almost Got 'Im" and "Legends Of The Dark Night", and that's pretty much it for high-concept premises as can't miss as this. And don't insult me with the ludicrous idea that "Over The Edge" qualifies as one of those. I'm not a tourist. Don't treat me like I am.
Why did this show suck for so long if it had THIS in it? Man.
The villains have the whole store the entire episode and don't even realize it. That's the irresistible hook. But Harley is going to keep the secret out of patient confidentiality. And it's because Bruce lives in that one memory that it's such an arduous process for Harley to even get THAT much, and the rest of the villains are already out of his head by that point. I love the idea that Batman's secret is protected when villains enter Bruce Wayne's mind, because Batman is not the thing that matters to Bruce. And the realization for why he wanted Frank says two extra things. First, Bruce is not the Big Bad of the season after all. Second, he is definitely crazy and delusional. I can't see why Harley got attached to him. She can relate to a person this damaged and wounded.
I love her making fun of the accent in the dream. I feel like one of the reasons Tara Strong is such a horrible Harley Quinn is because she can't do the accent. Hynden Walch can't do the accent either. Margot Robbie ESPECIALLY can't do it. Hell, Kaley Cuoco can't do it either (as she proved here). The only person who can do it is Arlene Sorkin. Why does every Harley actress save Cuoco ape the one thing about Harley they'll never get right? And them failing that specific thing makes Harley sound WRONG, no matter who is voicing her when they attempt it, and utterly fail at it. It's probably why Cuoco is the only other acceptable Harley besides Sorkin. Because she doesn't even TRY to do the part of Harley no-one but Sorkin can. I loved the joke about the accent for that reason. I felt it was a bit of a shot across the bow at Strong, Walch, and yeah, Robbie for having the nerve to try to mimic the only thing about the character Sorkin brought to it that cannot be replicated. And it's super frustrating.
I don't trust Dr. Psycho, but it's a decent place for him to end up. And we get a Frasier parody out of it too.
This is the best episode of the series so far. I ragged mercilessly on this show in season 1. I could almost say my judgment is now suspect, but I genuinely think Season 1 was bad. This show being awesome was an actual process here. *****.
Bob's Burgers: My Butt Has A Fever
That's actually a good song, which is weird because literally none of the songs in The Bob's Burgers Movie are any good.
I like that Mr. Frond declares no Pulp Fiction monologues, and Lois assures him that they are professionals.
The animation was great in the short too.
I'm getting serious vibes from The Simpsons' "Do The Bartman" music video from the premise.
Maybe I would have liked the movie as much as this if it had been 6 minutes long. ****1/2.
Mike Judge's Beavis And Butt-Head "Virtual Stupidity / Locked Out"
Virtual Stupidity:
This specific level of stupidity beggars belief a bit. I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time accepting it.
The videos were cool. I love Beavis saying that was dark and Butt-Head apologizing. The beat your meat song is funny too.
It also makes sense that Beavis hates firemen. I loved him saying you wouldn't believe what comes out of firehoses. And he concedes the fire department DID save his life four times so they can't be ALL bad.
But the framing story was too dumb, even for me. ***1/2.
Locked Out:
Butt-Head declaring that Pixar sucks has gone down as the most rewarding part of the relaunch for me so far.
Buford and Bernando. How dumb is Tom Anderson? Really, he's not any smarter than the boys.
I love that Beavis was scared of the movie Ghost. Totally in character for him.
Funny stuff. ****.
Episode Overall: ****.
Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal "The Colossaeus II"
I'll tell you one thing about this show. It runs quick. It doesn't feel like it's 22 minutes. I'm watching it, I'm engrossed in it, and then, boom, it's over.
That Queen is beyond evil. I appreciate the producers had enough tact not to show us the actual slaughter of the village by the giant. Even Fang finds it distasteful.
I love the repetition theme explored by having all of the battles at the beginning boarded exactly the same. As violent and horrible as it is, it suggests life has also become dreary and humdrum for Spear and Fang, and that's not just oppression that's destroying them bit by bit. It's monotony and boredom.
That was a very solid episode. ****1/2.
'Salem's Lot by Stephen King
Until he wrote Lisey's Story (which I feel is quite a bit overrated) Stephen King said Salem's Lot was his favorite book that he'd written. It held this specific honor a HELL of a lot longer than it should have considering some of the great stuff King wrote between it and Lisey's Story, but rereading it in preparation of my thorough deconstruction for Stephen King Book Club made me realize two things. First, it's WAY better than I remembered it, and I always thought it was pretty great, especially after finishing The Dark Tower and rereading it for context for Pere Callahan. Secondly, it's not the first good book King has ever written. Both Carrie and The Long Walk were solid. But it's definitely the first great book he's ever written. For sure.
Callahan is of course the best character in the book, simply based on what came later. But the book makes me understand very clearly why King believed he was unfinished business. Callahan's role as the cautionary tale about the failure of faith does not suit his specific character all that well. This specific moral comeuppance is deserved by a morally worse and less interesting character. King deciding the ending for him wasn't right and turning him into a hero and unofficial Gunslinger later on is understandable.
I think the thing I love and respond to about Callahan is that based on what he says his beliefs are, he is VERY fundamentally conservative in his views of sin and God. But as he's reached these conclusions through an unusual level of studying and experience, instead of self-righteous morality, when he talks about things that matter to him, I find his language is a bit leftist. As a Democrat who considers himself a conservative, I relate to this idea entirely. His reason and logic about his staunch beliefs in Old Evil strike me as rational. Especially so, given the premise of the vampire novel he appears in.
I think the thing working against the heroes isn't Barlow. It's not even precisely fading daylight. It's time. I think if cell phones had existed in this point in time all of the heroes' problems would be solved. And Ben and Matt getting laid out when they did cost them a precious day of strategy. I believe that if they had been allowed that day they would have killed Barlow, and their Tet (as it were) would have all survived. Only Matt Burke seems to understand the bind Barlow is putting them in by having them waste time on wild goose chases.
While we are speaking of time dooming the heroes, Callahan actually thinks before refusing to throw down the cross that this was happening too fast, and that he needed some time to think the implications through. And if he had that time he obviously would have made the opposite choice. That's one of the reasons I believe Stephen King brought him back in The Dark Tower. So he finally had not just the time to reason out the implications, but the experience to not fall for the same trick twice, and become an actual hero instead. Again, Callahan's role as the dude bearing the mark of Cain wouldn't make me feel so unsatisfied if the cat himself were stupider or meaner. He's kind of cool and with-it which makes me resent it a little instead. I thank God King felt the same way. The Pere's reemergence in Wolves Of The Calla is one of the surest introductory scenes Stephen King has ever written, and suggests he knows exactly what he wants to do with that specific character from that point forward, and the reader needs to hold onto their hat for upcoming awesomeness. Which he DID deliver. In spades.
I respond to Ben Mears so well because he is a fine detective. And the case he is trying to solve (for Susan's benefit) is "Is Matt Burke an insane murderer?" And I love how King has him talking it all out and reasoning that even if he can't fully accept it himself, nothing Burke says can be ruled out, and in fact everything fits the story he's telling. His rule about the world "can't" tripping people up is a good rule in general, and not just for supernatural beliefs and problems. The world is plenty weird and a lot of problems could be prevented if people took the worst case scenario into account instead of saying "That can't happen."
The bus driver Charlie is the first major example King gives of a loathsome person who justifies his own loathsomeness in own his eyes with bogus rationality. The kid who bullies Mark is similarly full of himself and him wanting to "smoke Camels like his old man" makes him seem extra pathetic. But really I think the most unlikable character for me is Susan Norton's mother. When she vehemently tells Susan that they don't give people breathalyzers unless they are drunk, I am sorely disappointed Susan didn't say "That is the stupidest, easily-verified-to-be-bogus-thing I have ever heard. How dumb are you, anyways?" Because that was my exact reaction. What pisses me off the most about her saying it is how strongly she actually believes something that dumb. And people believing stupid things with ferocity is a modern pet peeve of mine, so Uncle Stevie sort got touchy with me about the subject in the 1970's.
King has gotten a lot of credit for how credible his small-town characters are. Let me go against the grain here a bit. Sometimes King can make unlearned-seeming characters from small towns seem surprisingly awesome. For this book, their portrayals are almost all negative outside of the actual group of heroes (Susan's father is the rare exception). There is an elitism present in King for these "credible small-town characters". He 's not asking the reader to relate to them. He's asking them to look down on them. I will not deny that a certain aspect of small-mindedness is present in small-town life. But for King at this stage of the game, it's Universal, which I don't like. And I certainly don't think it's anything he should be praised for.
Mark Petrie however is good example of precocious, capable, child character. King is one of those rare writer like Steven Spielberg who permits kid characters to be cool and smart. He doesn't worry about the kid being perceived by the reader as an obnoxious Mary Sue. Because readers and viewers of fiction have a real blind spot there. They believe all children in genre are obnoxious simply by their presence. How else to explain how widely hated the character of Henry Mills was on "Once Upon A Time" despite being the only character on that show I didn't want to routinely strangle on a weekly basis? Insightful kids scares audiences, and they don't know what to do with them. So they are lumped in with obnoxious kids like Wesley Crusher without people understanding why that isn't so. I think maybe perhaps the best thing Stranger Things did for popular culture is put it into society's head that fictional kids are ALLOWED to be awesome and the viewer is allowed to like them. The kids on that show aren't working against the adult heroes either, so there is no "Us versus them" mentality present for the adults and the kids. And that's how I think Mark Petrie's role in 'Salem's Lot works. And it works very well.
Of course Stephen King is NOT perfect in this regard. I very much detest the child characters in both "It" and "The Body". But he's written great kids in The Talisman, Under The Dome, The Institute, and elsewhere. I appreciate King so often tries to build up how cool kid heroes can be instead of trying to tear them down as is trendy. He's not always successful. But the fact that he believes that and tries to show it means everything.
I love that Susan respects Mark for the surety of his beliefs after he points out he saw it with his own eyes. That wins the argument for her in a way her "Yeah, butting" with Ben and Matt doesn't.
I haven't read this in awhile, and it's really cool that it totally holds up. A bunch of King's earlier stuff does not. *****.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Runaway Training"
I had totally forgotten how lame and stupid this cartoon was. This episode was quite the helpful refresher.
And do you know who Kitsune is at the end? Elmyra. THAT is the obnoxious level of company she keeps with that. *.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Game Dogs"
I've never really read Usagi Yojimbo but I'm guessing this show has veered far outside of the premise at this point.
I like the Yokai telling Lord Kigane that he was a three-eyed clam and he needed to lower his expectations.
It wasn't great, but at least it was better than the first episode. **1/2.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "The Fuzzy Pony"
Usagi Yojimbo may have been centered around a cartoon rabbit, but it was never as obnoxiously cutesy and cloying as this.
Do you know what bugs the crap out of me? This nonsense was written by JLU's Matt Wayne, an actual great writer. I and The Universe are not going to thank this show for making Matt Wayne suck. **.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Adventures In Ninjasitting"
It was dumb but I laughed at the bit of Tetsujin saying that kids sometimes confuse old people for smart because they are old. It's funny because it's true. **1/2.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Interdimensionals"
I'll tell you what I like: I like that Usagi takes former enemies and turns them into allies. That is something I respond to in fiction. I enjoyed the board game at the end for that reason.
I also like that Usagi can't wear the sunglasses because his ears are in the wrong place. Good thinking there, writers. That would have escape many cartoons' notice. (See the Energizer Bunny for the most obvious and stupidest example).
I kinda liked this one. ***1/2.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Warbotto"
Tetsujin was an even bigger nuisance than usual this episode.
I like that O-Dokura was allowed to be useful at the end.
I also liked when Usagi correctly pointed out Chizu's idea to destroy all the robots wasn't a plan, but a goal.
The stuff with the bubbles was stupid though. I don't really take anything on this show seriously because of stuff like that. **1/2.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Willow Branch"
I liked the ending for the ghosts, and I like that when O-Dokura was given his new body he didn't turn on the heroes, and still kept the peace. I like the fact that the show pushes for peace so hard. It's not a show I like very much. But I very much like that part of it.
It actually makes sense Tetsujin is a good fighter. It also makes sense as to why we've never seen it before.
The only part I really didn't like was the talking swords bit at the end. A little too silly, even for this show. I think my main objection is that it should have been a serious moment, and they went for the joke instead, which is frustrating. But I very much liked the rest of the episode. ****.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "A Chizu Stands Alone"
This show is very badly written, especially as far as dialogue goes, but I really REALLY respond to the themes about self-sacrifice and wanting to do right by the greater good instead of what is easy and expedient. I thought it was very cool when Kagehito gives Usagi his blessing to cut the Clovis on the Keystone, even knowing it would doom his people, and Usagi ultimately refuses to do it because he knows that.
I was impressed Chizu already knew who the spy was, but the show did wrong by having ALL the Ninjas turn on her at the end. I was as disappointed as she was.
Kitsune got the funniest line. I liked her relating the time she once insisted puppetry would save the world, and she was told to keep her voice down because they were in a library.
Personally, I would have cast Stan Sakai as Usagi Yojimbo, whether his voice was right for the role or not. For the record.
It was all right. ***.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Eggs!"
I loved that. I see value in the show. Whether the writing is beneath my personal standards or not, I love the idea of the show teaching kids we all have free will, and can make our own decisions, and effect the world in a positive way if we choose to. There is no such thing as destiny or inevitability when it comes to our choices and our behavior. Even for robots. And that's a refreshing moral for a kiddie show. I'll sit through 10 badly written episodes to see it. No question.
So yeah, I loved that idea. *****.
Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles "Invasion!"
Fine finale. I want to give the show credit for something. Kagehito has a VERY scary character design and voice. I admire the show for resisting the urge to turn him into a bad guy at the end and say he was faking his redemption. The reason I appreciate it goes beyond the fact that it would be cliched and badly written. But I like that the show has been talking up making good and noble choices all season, and refuses to undercut the moral for any reason.
And no, I don't think the show is very good quality-wise. But its positive messages are sorely lacking in most other kids shows. The other kiddie cartoon show whose themes I approved of on this level was She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power. Now She-Ra was a great show and this isn't. But I similarly think kids can take something positive from this too. ****.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Shorts "C.O.W.A.B.U.N.G.A."
Fun game. ****.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Shorts "Cucumber-Mikey Vs. Manticat"
Hilarious. Donnie knows they should save him but he can't take his eyes off him. ****1/2.
Star Trek: Lower Decks "The Least Dangerous Game"
This was an average episode, but this is a good show, and an average episode of a good show is always eminently watchable. I don't feel the need to do a full deconstruction, but I do need to address one thing. The show did NOT need to get back J.G. Hertzler for Martok. No other animated show would have bothered. But this show cares. And that makes all the difference.
Also nice hear that Martok is still Chancellor. The shady Klingons from last year's finale had me a bit worried about the Empire, but if Martok is still in charge, things'll be all right. ***1/2.
She-Hulk: Attorney At Law "The People Vs. Emil Blonsky"
Sigh. And the Marvel Studio series decline starts right on cue. I'm disappointed but not surprised.
I will say this. Because the series is a doofy comedy, even if it does become as underwhelming as every other Marvel show that limped to the barn, it at least won't turn into a bummer to watch. I still can't believe that happened to Ms. Marvel and I'm still steamed about it.
I loved Wong's appearance, and frankly I love that the show is giving Blonsky a genuine redemption arc, and even came up with a plausible reason for the prison break. It was so plausible, it was already set up! I was like "Oh, yeah!"
I'm giving that a solid three and a half stars, but I really think I should be giving it a lower grade on general principle. But this show's decline will not be Moon Knight or Ms. Marvel's decline. So that's something at least. Not much, but still. ***1/2.
Spidey And His Amazing Friends "Bootsie's Day Out / Trouble At Tony's"
Bootsie's Day Out:
Bootsie is still cute but I'm already tired of Black Cat learning the same damn lesson every episode. **1/2.
Trouble at Tony's:
I still maintain Stamos would be an excellent live-action Tony Stark. ***.
Episode Overall: **1/2.
The Lord Of The Rings: The Rings Of Power "A Shadow Of The Past"
Wow. That was super interesting. If Game Of Thrones and House Of The Dragon come up several times in an uncomplimentary fashion during this review, don't be shocked.
New Line Cinema IS one of the production studios here. Considering both Galadriel and Elrond are portrayed as younger as they were in the films, this show is so far part of my movie head-canon. If and when they start contradicting stuff, I'll reassess. For instance, the differences in the Hobbit holes and dwellings, bothered me until it's revealed they are nomads at this point and moving from place to place. It makes sense the holes are far less elaborate than those in Hobbiton.
It's very difficult to believe this was done on a TV budget. It is the most lavish show I have ever seen, including stuff from Marvel Studios and Star Wars.
I think more than one person has suggested they are more interested in this show than House Of The Dragon. It's definitely a far better and more interesting show. Let also offer another opinion about why it is better than that AND Game Of Thrones. It's not tough to watch. Bad things happen, but the show doesn't punish the viewer for liking the characters. We are allowed moments of hope, and well, GOOD. And that means while House Of The Dragon is a bummer, this show is entertaining. This show fills me wonder instead of dread.
A few other things to note. I am one of those people who have read the entire Silmarillion, not because it was a good book, or because I am a huge Tolkien fan, but simply because I'm weird. Somebody told me once that if a person can sit down and read the entire Silmarillion they can pretty much read anything. I haven't read a phone book or the Bible cover to cover, but I DID read the entire Star Trek Encyclopedia as well, so I think I'm well-suited to believe that about myself. But Morgoth was a pretty big deal there, and even if we don't see him, he's mentioned for the first time.
Also we get a good and fascinating glimpse of Valinor, and better context for the Elves going to the West to Grey Havens. It's a combination of Eden and Heaven in my mind. The one thing I'm unclear on is why it's hinted nobody can ever return. Obviously the Elves had to actually leave to fight the war in Middle-Earth. I'm not sure why nobody can ever come back again.
Nice to see faces of color. This will upset people, but maybe those people SHOULD be upset. There really was no reason for Jackson to cast white people exclusively. Tolkien didn't spend much (if any) time describing skin tones on humans, Elves, and Hobbits. The fact that they were all supposed to be white was an assumption on both Jackson and the fans' part. I don't recall a single thing in the Big Four books or The Silmarillion that said everybody is white.
This is the first episode, so things can change. So far the violence is gorier than the movie. But the language is mild (the closest thing to cursing is a human saying "Bloody") and (so far) the romance is quite chaste (also consistent with the franchise). This IS the first episode, and things can change, but I can safely say there won't be Dwarves dropping F-bombs or full frontal Elves. Which will be nice.
I don't like giving Pilots five stars too often because they ARE the kitchen sink, and a lousy way to establish a baseline. But if I had seen that as a movie I would have given it five stars. So yeah, I'm gonna have to rethink and adjust my curve here at some point (probably). *****.
The Lord Of The Rings: The Rings Of Power "Adrift"
The Stranger is obviously Mithrandir. It would explain Gandalf's weird affinity for Hobbits. Predict he is gonna heal Nori's father's foot unexpectedly.
The Silmarils were mentioned.
I'm thinking the Dark Sauron-looking blade that Theo is hiding might wind up the material the Rings are made out of, specifically the One Ring. Theo's hoarding and secretive behavior over it it a big clue about that.
Mistake: Drawf females are supposed to have beards. Perhaps off-putting on a TV show, but they were shown in the Hobbit movies.
I'm digging this show. If I had any complaints, it's that the runtime feels a little long. But that's true for the movies too. ****1/2.
Harley Quinn "Batman Begins Forever"
Honestly? That was one of the best premises for a Batman story I have EVER seen. I think of "Almost Got 'Im" and "Legends Of The Dark Night", and that's pretty much it for high-concept premises as can't miss as this. And don't insult me with the ludicrous idea that "Over The Edge" qualifies as one of those. I'm not a tourist. Don't treat me like I am.
Why did this show suck for so long if it had THIS in it? Man.
The villains have the whole store the entire episode and don't even realize it. That's the irresistible hook. But Harley is going to keep the secret out of patient confidentiality. And it's because Bruce lives in that one memory that it's such an arduous process for Harley to even get THAT much, and the rest of the villains are already out of his head by that point. I love the idea that Batman's secret is protected when villains enter Bruce Wayne's mind, because Batman is not the thing that matters to Bruce. And the realization for why he wanted Frank says two extra things. First, Bruce is not the Big Bad of the season after all. Second, he is definitely crazy and delusional. I can't see why Harley got attached to him. She can relate to a person this damaged and wounded.
I love her making fun of the accent in the dream. I feel like one of the reasons Tara Strong is such a horrible Harley Quinn is because she can't do the accent. Hynden Walch can't do the accent either. Margot Robbie ESPECIALLY can't do it. Hell, Kaley Cuoco can't do it either (as she proved here). The only person who can do it is Arlene Sorkin. Why does every Harley actress save Cuoco ape the one thing about Harley they'll never get right? And them failing that specific thing makes Harley sound WRONG, no matter who is voicing her when they attempt it, and utterly fail at it. It's probably why Cuoco is the only other acceptable Harley besides Sorkin. Because she doesn't even TRY to do the part of Harley no-one but Sorkin can. I loved the joke about the accent for that reason. I felt it was a bit of a shot across the bow at Strong, Walch, and yeah, Robbie for having the nerve to try to mimic the only thing about the character Sorkin brought to it that cannot be replicated. And it's super frustrating.
I don't trust Dr. Psycho, but it's a decent place for him to end up. And we get a Frasier parody out of it too.
This is the best episode of the series so far. I ragged mercilessly on this show in season 1. I could almost say my judgment is now suspect, but I genuinely think Season 1 was bad. This show being awesome was an actual process here. *****.
Bob's Burgers: My Butt Has A Fever
That's actually a good song, which is weird because literally none of the songs in The Bob's Burgers Movie are any good.
I like that Mr. Frond declares no Pulp Fiction monologues, and Lois assures him that they are professionals.
The animation was great in the short too.
I'm getting serious vibes from The Simpsons' "Do The Bartman" music video from the premise.
Maybe I would have liked the movie as much as this if it had been 6 minutes long. ****1/2.
Mike Judge's Beavis And Butt-Head "Virtual Stupidity / Locked Out"
Virtual Stupidity:
This specific level of stupidity beggars belief a bit. I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time accepting it.
The videos were cool. I love Beavis saying that was dark and Butt-Head apologizing. The beat your meat song is funny too.
It also makes sense that Beavis hates firemen. I loved him saying you wouldn't believe what comes out of firehoses. And he concedes the fire department DID save his life four times so they can't be ALL bad.
But the framing story was too dumb, even for me. ***1/2.
Locked Out:
Butt-Head declaring that Pixar sucks has gone down as the most rewarding part of the relaunch for me so far.
Buford and Bernando. How dumb is Tom Anderson? Really, he's not any smarter than the boys.
I love that Beavis was scared of the movie Ghost. Totally in character for him.
Funny stuff. ****.
Episode Overall: ****.
Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal "The Colossaeus II"
I'll tell you one thing about this show. It runs quick. It doesn't feel like it's 22 minutes. I'm watching it, I'm engrossed in it, and then, boom, it's over.
That Queen is beyond evil. I appreciate the producers had enough tact not to show us the actual slaughter of the village by the giant. Even Fang finds it distasteful.
I love the repetition theme explored by having all of the battles at the beginning boarded exactly the same. As violent and horrible as it is, it suggests life has also become dreary and humdrum for Spear and Fang, and that's not just oppression that's destroying them bit by bit. It's monotony and boredom.
That was a very solid episode. ****1/2.
'Salem's Lot by Stephen King
Until he wrote Lisey's Story (which I feel is quite a bit overrated) Stephen King said Salem's Lot was his favorite book that he'd written. It held this specific honor a HELL of a lot longer than it should have considering some of the great stuff King wrote between it and Lisey's Story, but rereading it in preparation of my thorough deconstruction for Stephen King Book Club made me realize two things. First, it's WAY better than I remembered it, and I always thought it was pretty great, especially after finishing The Dark Tower and rereading it for context for Pere Callahan. Secondly, it's not the first good book King has ever written. Both Carrie and The Long Walk were solid. But it's definitely the first great book he's ever written. For sure.
Callahan is of course the best character in the book, simply based on what came later. But the book makes me understand very clearly why King believed he was unfinished business. Callahan's role as the cautionary tale about the failure of faith does not suit his specific character all that well. This specific moral comeuppance is deserved by a morally worse and less interesting character. King deciding the ending for him wasn't right and turning him into a hero and unofficial Gunslinger later on is understandable.
I think the thing I love and respond to about Callahan is that based on what he says his beliefs are, he is VERY fundamentally conservative in his views of sin and God. But as he's reached these conclusions through an unusual level of studying and experience, instead of self-righteous morality, when he talks about things that matter to him, I find his language is a bit leftist. As a Democrat who considers himself a conservative, I relate to this idea entirely. His reason and logic about his staunch beliefs in Old Evil strike me as rational. Especially so, given the premise of the vampire novel he appears in.
I think the thing working against the heroes isn't Barlow. It's not even precisely fading daylight. It's time. I think if cell phones had existed in this point in time all of the heroes' problems would be solved. And Ben and Matt getting laid out when they did cost them a precious day of strategy. I believe that if they had been allowed that day they would have killed Barlow, and their Tet (as it were) would have all survived. Only Matt Burke seems to understand the bind Barlow is putting them in by having them waste time on wild goose chases.
While we are speaking of time dooming the heroes, Callahan actually thinks before refusing to throw down the cross that this was happening too fast, and that he needed some time to think the implications through. And if he had that time he obviously would have made the opposite choice. That's one of the reasons I believe Stephen King brought him back in The Dark Tower. So he finally had not just the time to reason out the implications, but the experience to not fall for the same trick twice, and become an actual hero instead. Again, Callahan's role as the dude bearing the mark of Cain wouldn't make me feel so unsatisfied if the cat himself were stupider or meaner. He's kind of cool and with-it which makes me resent it a little instead. I thank God King felt the same way. The Pere's reemergence in Wolves Of The Calla is one of the surest introductory scenes Stephen King has ever written, and suggests he knows exactly what he wants to do with that specific character from that point forward, and the reader needs to hold onto their hat for upcoming awesomeness. Which he DID deliver. In spades.
I respond to Ben Mears so well because he is a fine detective. And the case he is trying to solve (for Susan's benefit) is "Is Matt Burke an insane murderer?" And I love how King has him talking it all out and reasoning that even if he can't fully accept it himself, nothing Burke says can be ruled out, and in fact everything fits the story he's telling. His rule about the world "can't" tripping people up is a good rule in general, and not just for supernatural beliefs and problems. The world is plenty weird and a lot of problems could be prevented if people took the worst case scenario into account instead of saying "That can't happen."
The bus driver Charlie is the first major example King gives of a loathsome person who justifies his own loathsomeness in own his eyes with bogus rationality. The kid who bullies Mark is similarly full of himself and him wanting to "smoke Camels like his old man" makes him seem extra pathetic. But really I think the most unlikable character for me is Susan Norton's mother. When she vehemently tells Susan that they don't give people breathalyzers unless they are drunk, I am sorely disappointed Susan didn't say "That is the stupidest, easily-verified-to-be-bogus-thing I have ever heard. How dumb are you, anyways?" Because that was my exact reaction. What pisses me off the most about her saying it is how strongly she actually believes something that dumb. And people believing stupid things with ferocity is a modern pet peeve of mine, so Uncle Stevie sort got touchy with me about the subject in the 1970's.
King has gotten a lot of credit for how credible his small-town characters are. Let me go against the grain here a bit. Sometimes King can make unlearned-seeming characters from small towns seem surprisingly awesome. For this book, their portrayals are almost all negative outside of the actual group of heroes (Susan's father is the rare exception). There is an elitism present in King for these "credible small-town characters". He 's not asking the reader to relate to them. He's asking them to look down on them. I will not deny that a certain aspect of small-mindedness is present in small-town life. But for King at this stage of the game, it's Universal, which I don't like. And I certainly don't think it's anything he should be praised for.
Mark Petrie however is good example of precocious, capable, child character. King is one of those rare writer like Steven Spielberg who permits kid characters to be cool and smart. He doesn't worry about the kid being perceived by the reader as an obnoxious Mary Sue. Because readers and viewers of fiction have a real blind spot there. They believe all children in genre are obnoxious simply by their presence. How else to explain how widely hated the character of Henry Mills was on "Once Upon A Time" despite being the only character on that show I didn't want to routinely strangle on a weekly basis? Insightful kids scares audiences, and they don't know what to do with them. So they are lumped in with obnoxious kids like Wesley Crusher without people understanding why that isn't so. I think maybe perhaps the best thing Stranger Things did for popular culture is put it into society's head that fictional kids are ALLOWED to be awesome and the viewer is allowed to like them. The kids on that show aren't working against the adult heroes either, so there is no "Us versus them" mentality present for the adults and the kids. And that's how I think Mark Petrie's role in 'Salem's Lot works. And it works very well.
Of course Stephen King is NOT perfect in this regard. I very much detest the child characters in both "It" and "The Body". But he's written great kids in The Talisman, Under The Dome, The Institute, and elsewhere. I appreciate King so often tries to build up how cool kid heroes can be instead of trying to tear them down as is trendy. He's not always successful. But the fact that he believes that and tries to show it means everything.
I love that Susan respects Mark for the surety of his beliefs after he points out he saw it with his own eyes. That wins the argument for her in a way her "Yeah, butting" with Ben and Matt doesn't.
I haven't read this in awhile, and it's really cool that it totally holds up. A bunch of King's earlier stuff does not. *****.
