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matt_zimmerBuffy The Vampire Slayer "Anne"
Buffy The Vampire Slayer is famous for have surprisingly sucky season premieres, and "Anne" is the second worst of all (next to "Buffy Vs. Dracula"). I understand the rationale behind it, at least I did at the time, but it's an outmoded way to tell a story.
What Joss is doing with small, underwhelming premieres is what is known as The Slow Burn. Sometimes I appreciate it even if the episode sucks (Season Four's premiere is quite impressive with its foreshadowing, without ever once being impressive itself) but "Anne" is even worse than usual because NONE of the Season 3 Arc is being set up here, and it's all unrelated to everything else. We'll talk about a few interesting things, and the episode's many failings. This is a bad episode and I don't want to unfairly pick on it or suggest episodes this bad are common for this show.
I'll talk about things that didn't work first. Just to end things on a more positive note.
The Scooby adventures were shockingly bland. Outside of the classic bit of Oz whiffing throwing the stake at the fleeing vamp, nothing is funny or clever. Even Xander and Cordelia collapsing in orchestral passion as the vampire turns to dust feels a bit old hat.
"Here's my impression of Gandhi." That is a classic Joss Whedon joke. What is especially classic about it is that it's not the slightest bit funny and Whedon seems completely unaware of it. It's this episode's version of Captain America's "Language" from Age Of Ultron. It's Whedon believing he is funnier than he is and that his fans' threshold for laughing is lower than it is. It's annoying. Here's something new: I wouldn't have recognized it as annoying as it is if "Language" never existed. One of the worst things about Age Of Ultron and Justice League sucking so much is that many of their weaknesses throw into relief flaws in his earlier work I would have had no context to recognize as sucky as they were. The "Gandhi impression" is Whedon at his stupidest, confusing himself for clever.
I am thoroughly unimpressed by how unimaginative the Buffyverse's version of Hell ultimately is. Yes, the show's budget is shoestring. And it doesn't stop this version from paling in comparison from what they were able to come up with in Lucifer, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow, and even Preacher. Preacher's Hell being memorable especially stings because they didn't actually usually have to pay a whole bunch of money to portray it. This just sucks.
I am creeped out at Whedon sexualizing Buffy in the dream sequence. The camera lingers WAY too long on her breasts to be considered anything but icky. To be fair to Whedon, sexualizing teenagers is a major problem in Hollywood still, and has been done on everything from Smallville to Riverdale. I don't have to like it or think it's isn't gross though.
Next I am going to talk about good things, and finally some random things of notes.
The first good thing is Joyce blaming Giles for Buffy leaving. It throws him for a loop, but he regains enough composure to tell Joyce he didn't make Buffy what she was. As far as excuses go, it utterly sucks. Joyce's complaint isn't about Buffy being the Slayer. It's about how she was doing it in secret, and had an entire secret relationship with this man she knew nothing about. That's super creepy. And Giles believing Buffy should keep this from her mother is 100% on him. Especially because the blow-up wouldn't have occurred if this had been revealed and acknowledged during a quiet moment and Joyce had been allowed the proper time and context to deal with it. To be blunt, Buffy does little to comfort her mother about the truth in the last episode and that's also on her. It bothers me that the finale portrayed Joyce as being dumb and unreasonable. Because Buffy and Giles have been treating her terribly. I like this episode because Joyce actually calls Giles on it.
Say what you will about the climax (and it DID suck) but the practical fights were SO bad@$$, they made wonderful clips for the intro to Season 3. The bad@$$ look of Buffy looking around with the axe in her hand is so iconic it spent three seasons as the end of the theme song.
"I'm Buffy The Vampire Slayer." Generally speaking, the characters in the show say the title of the show rarely. But when Buffy does, it's ALWAYS a big moment.
Lily may be annoying in this episode, and this episode may have sucked for set-up for the rest of the season, but Lily becoming Anne at the end of the episode was neat set-up for her arc on Angel.
"What are you doing?" "Going through your secret files." "I'm calling the police." [Rips phone off the wall.] That and Buffy's "I suck at undercover" is one of the reasons I like her as a hero. She's pretty no-nonsense when dealing with strangers, which is kind of refreshing. She has never been comfortable at guile or spyjinks and none of her missions have ever been compromised simply because she refuses to b.s. her enemies. I like that about her. Here's something: For people who like and admire Buffy, I don't think I've ever seen anybody else compliment her about that one thing. But it's one of her coolest qualities.
Speaking of main title clips, one of the shots of a homeless woman standing in the middle of the street was eventually used on the main title for Angel for all five of its seasons. I didn't realize it came from this episode until I just saw it this time.
The episode may not have set up the arc of the season, but the notion of time moving differently in Hell sure explains why Angel is totally crazy when he comes back in a couple of episodes.
One of the frustrating things about The Slow Burn is that later producers discovered it was unnecessary. The show "Lost" started with a plane exploding on a mysterious beach and the first scene in the Pilot being gripping and exhilarating didn't lesson the mystery, or make the journey less rewarding as it went along. Joss believes in a story getting better as it goes along. I believe in that too. What Whedon fails to understand is that doesn't mean you have to make the beginning of the story suck for the sake of comparison. The other option is to make a great premiere and keep upping your game every week. This is clearly not something Whedon was EVER cut out for. Season Seven is the basic proof of that. But that doesn't make weak season premieres like "Anne" any more acceptable. *.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Dead Man's Party"
Not much important happened this episode. But it was still surprisingly solid.
I am really rooting for Joyce and hating Xander. While Xander is right that Buffy put her mom through Hell, he does not get to be the one to call her on it. His behavior is loutish and he thinks he is more entitled to Buffy's apology than he is. Out of all of Buffy's major friends, he was actually hurt the least. And he's the one making her feel the worst. That's not okay. At all.
Joyce said some really interesting things in the episode. When Buffy snipes at the idea of private schools, Joyce ALMOST loses her cool and says with as much tact as she can muster, "Buffy, you made some bad choices. You might have to live with some consequences." That is a true thing a good parent says. Joyce also tells Buffy she wasn't perfect and handled Buffy telling her the truth badly. But this is something I already said: Buffy laid it on her in the most inconvenient and horrifying way possible, and acted like she was stupid for not immediately getting with the program. Joyce is a good enough person to admit she reacted badly. Is Buffy a self-aware enough person that she understands the way she told her gave her few other options BUT to react badly?
I have problems with the party. It's nice Joyce seems okay with it, but she shouldn't be. She was going to bring out the good plates, and the Scoobies essentially set up a drinking party with a band without asking her. They wreck her house even before the zombies show up.
And what was with the idiot answering the phone? I confess I don't go to parties but it is usual for a guest to answer the phone when it rings? Because it strikes me as incredibly bad etiquette. Even for a drunken stoner. There HAVE to be SOME sort of recognized rules at these sorts of parties. I can't believe strangers answering the phone is considered by anyone else to be okay.
I love Joyce's eulogy for the cat. It is very clear to me why Spike actually likes her. She doesn't NEED to be this decent and she weirdly is.
Giles' "Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead! Americans!" is one of that character's funniest lines ever.
Speaking of which, Oz saying he liked the cat and that he thinks they should name it Patches was a riot. His descriptions on the differences between a gathering, a shindig, and a hootenanny are Classic Oz too. "A whole lot of hoot, just a LITTLE bit of nanny." Awesome.
I have a problem with Snyder in the episode. He's too loathsome. A person like Snyder cannot function in society as long as he speaks to people like Joyce the rude way he does publicly. Someone like Snyder would have been fired a long time ago. I don't care that this is over fifteen years away from MeToo. Nobody who works with children would ever put up with it. I don't like how horrible they've made the character because it's quite unrealistic. You can throw Donald Trump in my face as a counterexample, but I think Snyder's behavior is openly worse. I have no doubt Trump is worse in private but Trump doesn't talk that way in public. I get this was a private meeting, but still, it's not realistic. Giles strong-arming him at the end was admittedly awesome but it never should have been necessary.
The last scene of Willow and Buffy jokingly throwing antifeminist slurs at each other has truly aged poorly. One of the worst endings of the series simply because every bit of the language is dated.
But the rest of the episode was decent, especially considering nothing much really happened during it. ***1/2.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Faith, Hope And Trick"
Interesting thing I noticed: In Faith's first episode, Buffy treats Faith far worse than Faith treats Buffy. Thought that bears mentioning.
I like Willow telling Oz he was supposed to stop her from doing that and him saying he likes when she does that.
Xander's "They should film that story and show it every Christmas," is also a great line. Although to be blunt, his perving on Faith is creepy. And to do it in front of Cordelia is especially rude.
"I told him I loved him, and then I kissed him, and then I killed him." Only on this show will you get an epic (yet ridiculous) line like that.
Mr. Trick is cool simply because he acknowledges the fact that he's black. He in fact mentions that Sunnydale is not exactly a haven for the brothers.
Scott totally whiffed it what that ring. Holy cow, what a screw-up. Not his fault, but it's also not something I'd look past were I Buffy. Were I Buffy, he just blew it forever with that.
Odd, weirdly poetic, and surprisingly accurate episode title.
The screen fading to black, and then the ring lighting up and shaking was a total Twin Peaks move. Instantly got that homage.
One thing I notice in hindsight is that I don't think Angel returning when he did was ever explained satisfactorily. I mean, I get The Powers That Be weren't done with him, but what caused him to return at that exact moment? I feel like a great deal of the most important parts of Angel's arc seem a bit random and coincidental in hindsight.
Buffy telling Snyder him being overruled is essentially him having his entire competency and fitness to do his job called into question is one of the few "good ones" the show was nice enough to allow her to get off on him. The fact that Joyce was there to enjoy it was icing on the cake.
The show is still doing The Slow Burn at this point, but with the arrival of Faith and Mr. Trick, things are starting to come into focus. ***1/2.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer "The Beauty And The Beasts"
One thought kept circling around head as I was rewatching this: Buffy The Vampire Slayer shouldn't ever be this bad. At least not at this stage of the game. I'm not saying the show hasn't done worse, or even that's it's the worst episode so far. But it's after "Becoming". There is no excuse for it anymore. I chalked up all of the horrible episodes in Season 1 and 2 as growing pains, and part of the process of the show finding itself. This is terrible with no larger explanation needed.
Here is a fun thought experiment for people who have seen the show but aren't completely attached to it, or maybe if the recent Whedon allegations made you lose the Faith a little (so to speak). The next time one of those alleged Buffy scholars (You know who I mean. The people who have done psychological dissertations on the show and characters, and believe the the show is perfect in its creation myths allegories, and that its melodrama is the closest the modern age gets to Shakespeare; those guys) talk about how purely brilliant the show is, I suggest you dare them to watch this episode with you while you MST3K it. If the person isn't fuming, there is gonna be a LOT of painful silence on their end due to utter embarrassment. You cannot declare Buffy The Vampire Slayer the modern Shakespeare as long as this episode exists where it does. What Buffy The Vampire Slayer is is television. Nothing more, nothing less. And it's often as thoroughly mediocre as all of the rest of the television is. It is NOT actually all of those revelatory things its boosters say it is. It's a regular TV show that is sometimes good. And sometimes it's this bad, and there is no defense for it possible. I'm sorry. It's the truth.
I think what the problem is is that even at this stage, the show believed that it needed to lean into the premise of "Everything scary is real." They've done Frankensteins, zombies, mummies, robots, witches, all that nonsense. So the producers were like "Hey, let's do Mr. Hyde!" That shouldn't be how any show tells its stories. Have you ever seen the show Grimm? (Coincidentally co-created by Buffy producer and Angel co-creator David Greenwalt.) During the early episodes they tried to make the premise a police detective procedural of a cop solving fairy tale crimes. Not only did the gimmick never convincingly work, but it landed with a thud every time. So the show soon enough decided it was no longer about that and never looked back. It was never a great show. But once it understood its entire high-concept premise was holding it back, it became occasionally watchable.
The sooner Buffy The Vampire Slayer realizes they aren't a "Monster Of The Week" show, the better off we'll all be.
What really bothers me about the episode is that it is SO easy to criticize. I never liked the episode, but it amazes me I never destroyed it in a previous review either. Its flaws are numerous, and obvious. And ultimately inexcusable. Where to begin?
Using the Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde plot as an Afterschool Special allegory for a guy beating his girlfriend is bad enough (on pretty much every level, both concerning message and episode quality) but what kills me is Buffy looking down on this girl for thinking she can change the guy in the very episode she's trying to tame Angel. How is it I missed that before this? How are Buffy's delusions any purer than this poor girl's? Why should I EVER think it's okay for Buffy to judge her negatively as some kind of doormat, instead of, I dunno showing some, "I been there, babe," empathy?
Whedon wants credit for being a feminist? He might do better by having the female characters actually support the poor girl being abused instead of acting like her refusing to leave makes it entirely her own fault. I should not have to be first person to point this out. Buffy scholars, hang your heads in shame.
I also am disgusted with how the show treats Mr. Platt. He is completely lovable, empathetic, charismatic, and a great addition to the show. But he's also black, which means he is destined to die in the most humiliating manner possible. I cannot think of a more embarrassing death for a black character. For one thing, a teacher like that wouldn't be smoking in his office at school EVER. And they only had him do that so they could do the horrible gag reveal of the burned out cigarette his corpse is holding. What's especially twisted and sick is Buffy goes into his office not realizing he's dead, and opens her heart and tearfully cries that she needs to talk to SOMEONE! Mr. Platt is not a heroic character. And the show still made his subtext the black guy who sacrifices himself so the white character can grieve them. I have to say, that's a pretty impressive (and awful) racist trick. If I haven't said it before (and I have) IStandWithRayFisher.
The continuity of the show is ludicrous too. Angel is a feral beast now? Swell! So who put on his pants for him at the beginning of the episode? That huge and ridiculous continuity error bothers me a lot less than the idea that this is the first time I've noticed it. I have never been a picky TV viewer, but I was SO lenient on shows I otherwise liked, I could never see stuff like this staring me right in the face. It's unacceptable, and I'm ashamed I never noticed it before.
Also Angel killed Pete at the end of the episode. Forget how the Scoobies explain to the rest of the school how that happened. How does Buffy explain to the rest of her friends how that happened? Without having to lie and falsely implicate herself as his murderer? They had Angel kill him to tie up loose ends, but instead it created an unforgivable plothole. What a mess this show is turning out to be in this viewing.
Faith's take on all men being animals deep down really annoyed me. Not because I disagreed with it. I'd have a problem with it even if I thought it might be true. The problem is the statement is definitive about ALL men who exist, no matter the circumstance, which is actually something she has no way of knowing about. It's not something any given man has anyway of knowing about either. You cannot state an ironclad truth about a group of people's personalities when everyone everywhere seems to have a differing opinion on every topic imaginable. It's just as toxic and cliched when men make "All women are," statements. Faith isn't insightful, she's ignorant, and desperately trying to hide it by pretending to be an expert on a subject she actually knows nothing about.
Is there anything in the episode I liked? (Besides poor Mr. Platt?) Oz had a very Oz line: "Just a thought. Poker, not your game." Basically we were treated to one great Oz quip and an unending mess otherwise. I never gave this a great review in my previous reviews, but I'm kicking myself for not destroying it long before now. 0.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Homecoming"
A lot of fun. And also imperfect. We'll try to focus more on the fun in this review, but we'll get in some snipes too.
I have to say I don't think in hindsight the show gave the Mayor a great opening scene. I think he's my favorite of the Big Bads, so it's very weird they made the restrained choice for an opening scene they did. To be fair, the scene may not be either great or memorable, but it's surely interesting and raises questions. He's obsessed with germs and Alan's hands, nothing really alarming in and of itself, but Alan is clearly absolutely terrified of him. I'm still not sure after all these years what specific thing Finch saw that made him so terrified, but it's an interesting way to go, if not as big and funny as the character wound up being.
I liked Mr. Trick in the episode very much. I liked his bit about spiny headed things, and expressing admiration for the Slayers still being alive. That's like the Capital citizens in The Hunger Games. They are all there to see the kids kill each other, but on some level they want the underdog to survive. It's a very brutal and human viewpoint in this kind of scenario. Mr. Trick is more of a man than Mayor Wilkins thinks he is. I especially love that Mr. Trick suggests Sundown towns were his reality before he became a vampire, so the Mayor isn't telling him anything he hasn't heard before.
It's funny that on the big board, the last listed weakness for Cordelia is Xander. It's true, but Buffy is a witch for writing it down in front of him.
I very much loved Oz's yearbook photo.
I think the thing that bothers me the most about the mess with Xander and Willow is that this specific episode is playing it as cute, and endearing, and even romantic. A couple of episodes from now our perspective will be that it's utterly heinous, and if that's true (and I lean towards "Lover's Walk"'s take more) they shouldn't be confusing the issue like this. That is a story failing. It can be argued it's confusing because they are confused kids and the writers are leaning into that. But if the writers are going to decide it's devastating and unforgivable later on, they shouldn't be doing that.
Loved Cordelia bluffing Lyle Gorch. You can think him a coward for falling for that, but out of all of the recurring evil vampires we've met, only he, Drusilla, and Harmony survived all eight seasons of Buffy and Angel. Maybe he's simply not stupid.
I'm wondering if it was this specific episode that gave Whedon the idea for The Cabin In The Woods. I see many elements from it here.
I think Faith's prank she pulled on Scott in front of his date at the dance was a pretty dirty and low-class trick. That she pulled on behalf of Buffy for no other reason than that she likes her. I think Faith is a pretty deplorable character, when all is said and done. But I'm not going to argue that a LARGE part of her descent into villainy wasn't triggered by Buffy treating her unfairly.
I recall the end being memorable back in the day because no other show would think to end it that way, but I'm underwhelmed in hindsight. Perhaps no other show would end it that way because it's actually really unsatisfying. Food for thought.
It was a fun episode though. ****.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Band Candy"
This isn't a well-loved episode but I also think it was probably a bit better received that it should have been. It's Jane Espensen's first episode and it is classic her. It's well-written enough, but she tends to put in a really filthy or unpleasant element in most of her stories that doesn't let you enjoy things. This is a comedy episode. The "tribute" should not have been babies. I think as a person and somebody who interacts with fans Espensen is great and down-to-Earth. As a writer she is totally overpraised. I think because she's so awesome and great with fans people give her a pass for things like this. We really shouldn't.
I think the thing that worked best in the episode was Giles. It was down to Anthony Stewart Head's brilliant and convincing performance, but Espensen also made some very interesting (and correct) choices in her script as to how to depict an immature Giles. The first thing I noticed upon a rewatch is that he is a total jerk to Joyce. He leads her around hanging off his arm but he's totally inattentive to what she wants, never agreeing with her about what bands are cool, and saying growing up in England was boring, not because it was, but because expressing disdain for everything is cool and turns girls on. I think Whedon does not know how to write women properly when all is said and done. This episode proves Espensen knows how to write men. She did need not to make Giles as abusive to Joyce as Angel was to Buffy, and she still is able to show to the older people in the audience that he's mistreating her. Again, Espensen's writing is usually overpraised. But stuff like this is why she has fans to begin with.
Giles nodding along and getting into the music was brilliant. The way Head holds the cigarette is pretty convincing too.
Joyce may think that her car is the Geekmobile, but the truth is she still thinks Juice Newton is cool. Which means she ultimately isn't. Perhaps James Dean Giles is right to keep her at arm's length as long as she's saying stuff like that.
I took note at Snyder saying it was just wrong that the babies were going to be eaten. Because it is literally the only remotely good and noble thing he has EVER said. And it's really a no-brainer, and not exactly a tough stance for a person to take. But that's how low the bar is for that character. Literally his best quality is that he's against babies being eaten. That's not a real brag.
"Summers, you drive like a spaz!" I think the episode was better received than it should have been. But lines like that are why it was well-received back in the day at all.
I love Mr. Trick this episode, and I'm fascinated by him because I'm paying more attention to him this time through. There were three really interesting things he did. The first was to kill the guy who might not have eaten the candy just to make sure no-one else would. Whatever you think of Ethan Rayne, him witnessing that says he probably thinks he's gotten in over his head. The second interesting thing he did is that we learned he actually paid Ethan for his work. Rayne delivered what he said he would, and there was no need to burn that particular asset. I love it when villains are smart enough to treat people well because it's in their best interest. I also found Trick's perspective that the demon being killed was in Wilkin's best interest and that he did him a favor correct. That's the right way to look at it, but the truth is Buffy did Wilkins the favor. Trick claiming credit is him simply trying to get ahead of the narrative. Which is the right tack to take when your boss is a politician.
Giles being so punch-happy with Ethan was a lot of fun. He is so delighted whenever Buffy is forced to punch him it was infectious, and I wished she punched him more just to see Giles punching the air even more than he did. Ethan was never properly paid off on the series. But Robin Sachs and Head brought the goods this episode.
Fun, but imperfect, and the babies in jeopardy means it's less fun than it should have been. ****.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Revelations"
In my rewatch of Season 1, I gave the episode "Angel" a shockingly bad review. It surprised me because I did not expect to hate that episode that much this go-round. But it was stupid and obvious. The thing that turned me against it totally was the dumb, cliched, and unlikely hoops the show had to go through to have Buffy come upon Angel holding Joyce in a compromising position. It was so fake and phony and television, (and I can never give a harsher description of a bad plot turn than describing it as "television").
However, Faith catching Angel in a compromising position with Miss Post was entirely 100% believable and properly set up. There is not a single piece of it that feels contrived. I can think Faith rash and stupid for not being willing to hear either Xander or Buffy out, but I don't blame her for seeing red for walking in on Angel doing what he was doing to her.
I think Miss Post was probably a bad Watcher to begin with. She tells Faith when she visits her Motel room that Vampires don't tend to knock. Actually, genius, they DO. That HAVE to in order to get into a residence. They cannot enter a home uninvited. This is not sound advice any Watcher should ever be giving a Slayer.
I found Giles' rant to Buffy a bit heart-breaking in how earnest and hurt he is, but if I may be so bold? What did he expect? I get why Xander is mad (and Cordelia brought up some excellent points as well) but Xander was very clear last year that re-ensouling Angel would essentially be giving that murderer a free pass on killing Miss Calendar, and a way for "Buffy to get her boyfriend back". As I recall, before he was taken and tortured by Angel himself, Giles was very supportive of honoring "Jenny's last wish". He cannot actually be surprised this went down exactly as Xander said it would. I get the torture makes him feel especially personally betrayed. But he's no better than the crying members of the Leopard's Eating Face Party always screaming that they never believed a leopard would eat THEIR face. This was always going to happen. He was kidding himself if he thought Buffy would put his personal dignity ahead of reconnecting with the man she loves. And this is EXACTLY why Xander was against the idea to begin with, so he can't act like he wasn't warned this was coming, whether he was tortured or not.
Cordelia's two best points are that Buffy doesn't have much to fear from Angel. The last time he went crazy he was focused on torturing and killing all of their friends. And I especially love her telling Buffy to get over herself when Buffy accuses Xander of hating Angel because he's jealous. That breaks my heart on some level. Cordelia is defending her man in a way he clearly does not deserve. But like, I get it anyways. Buffy saying that to Xander in front of Cordelia is actually insulting to HER too. I like that Cordelia calls her on it.
I feel like Oz seems a bit out of place in the episode. They didn't really have him offer an opinion either way, and he simply asked questions other characters could have asked if he weren't in the episode. That's not great or even usual for the character.
The reason the Glove cannot be removed is a brilliant and gruesome one, and Buffy's solution for "removing" it was brutal and funny. Although I need to point out that Buffy actually KILLED Miss Post by doing it. If you count her, the zookeeper from Season 1, the human bounty hunter from "What's My Line?", and the two German assassins she tricked into shooting each other, Buffy has killed a total of five people (so far). I really don't understand why she is coming down so hard on Faith for doing the same thing (only once) later on, but by accident instead of deliberately.
I continue to be annoyed that Xander and Willow are still being portrayed as tender and sweet. They even created a music cue for their love theme for God's sake! It's super obnoxious in hindsight.
That definitely landed better than "Angel", an episode with a similar premise. I felt every bit of Faith's pain was earned, and I can actually see her mistrust of Buffy and the group growing out of a real and logical place. I am very glad that aspect of Faith going bad actually holds up in hindsight. ****.
