"Kim Possible" (2019) Review (Spoilers)
Feb. 18th, 2019 02:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matt_zimmerAlso reviews for the latest episodes of Elena Of Avalor, Muppet Babies, Marvel's Avengers: Black Panther's Quest, Star Wars Resistance, DC Super Hero Girls Super Shorts, Supergirl, Unikitty!, Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Transformers: Rescue Bots Academy, The Simpsons, Bob's Burgers, Family Guy, The Blacklist, and Blindspot.
Take my negative review with a huge grain of salt. I am not the target demographic for this.
Kim Possible
After about a half hour of this nonsense I was going to start off my review like, "More like Kim Passable", but by the end I realized that joke would be overly generous.
So here is my relationship to the original show. I was an adult when it premiered, and didn't feel any affinity towards it. Not enough to have to want to ever put up with the creepy adult male fandom (which is the precise reason I'm avoiding My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic too). So I'm coming into this movie with few judgments. And the original creators are involved, so maybe it won't be so bad.
I could go over how bad the dialogue and the story are, but ultimately that seems like a pointless complaint. It's possible this was a problem on the cartoon too, but nobody minded because people forgive a lot more in cartoons than in live-action projects. And I just don't have it in me to go over why this project, obviously designed for teenage girls, doesn't meet my personal standards as an adult male. Maybe my complaints should be a little more general than that.
I'll bite. This was the wrong movie for the debut project. The movie seems to be more about Athena's arc than Kim's, which is completely unwise for the first project in the continuity ever. The producers of Star Trek Generations, in my mind the very worst Star Trek film, were very regretful that they had Picard cry in his first ever big screen appearance. And while I think that is actually the least of that movie's problems, I see the argument. Making Kim such a mess who is jealous and feeling inadequate throughout the movie is a really dumb place to put the character in her first ever appearance. Now the audience will think she's ALWAYS like that. It makes a bad first impression to see her going through this in the first movie. The first movie should be pretty basic I would think (they are totally overthinking making Athena a robot and partial traitor) and just have Kim be Kim, and not have Athena in it at all. Athena is the character you introduce in the second (or in my personal opinion) third movie to spice things up. She is not a first movie character, and it's troubling that the creators of the long-running series wrote a movie without realizing that.
Other complaints. This might go for society in general, so maybe I shouldn't have it out for this movie about this: But I think the movie, and most Disney Channel stuff, teaches little girls to value the wrong things. It's not like boy's entertainment doesn't do the same thing, but most boy's shows are sort of made under the understanding that they will attract adult nerd fans too, so they write it on a couple of levels. Disney Channel projects for girls are always all about the lipsticks and the make-overs and things like that. And as an adult male, maybe it's not something I should be judging the movie for. But maybe it's something I should be judging society for.
The kid who plays Ron Stoppable alarms me because he is far more cartoony and arch than Will Friedle's version ever was. There was a large contingent of animated series fans who were SERIOUS, borderline creepy shippers of the two leads, but Ron here is such a cartoon that there is no way anyone would want to see these characters pushed together. This could be good or bad depending on what's next. If the series simply decides to eschew sexual tension and romance in the live-action version, more power to them. I would actually love that. But if they try to push them together anyways, it would be like if Kimberly from Power Rangers ended up with Bulk or Skull.
I also feel like it's probable that the fight scenes are worse in live-action than animation. Granted, the old show was made before the era of tightly boarded action scenes in animation (the technology wasn't there yet) but I do seem to remember it was more impressive than most other cartoons. Because of budget considerations, the fights in live-action are slower and involve less people. Also since the project is G-rated, they have to make the punches land less hard than they do in a cartoon. I feel very little real jeopardy in the project for that reason.
I imagine fans will go into conniptions for how little Rufus is in the movie, but again this is the downside to live-action on a TV budget. He doesn't effect the plot, and is involved in none of the spyjinx. But truthfully I'm not surprised at all.
The one thing I liked was Todd Stashwick as Drakken. Stashwick has always been a solid character actor, and Stashwick did good here. What drives me bonkers about Stashwick is that when he was slightly younger, he wasn't a bad lookin' dude. He could have gotten lead roles if he wanted them back in the day. It's just he's SO good at playing psychopaths, that nobody was ever willing to cast him as anything else. Who knows? Maybe he tried out for hero roles once upon a time, and was all wrong for them. But he was definitely handsome enough to be cast in them if he COULD have done a proper good guy performance. I would have been curious to see what that would have looked like.
Part of me really wishes that adult women were into girl's cartoons and projects, because then maybe producers would put a little effort into better plots and dialogue. But since they aren't and they don't, I have to accept the movie on those terms. I don't have to like it though. *.
Elena Of Avalor "Two Left Fins"
Kind of a slight episode but it was enjoyable nonetheless. ***1/2.
Elena Of Avalor "Movin' On Up"
Laughed out loud at Matteo's mother being such a menace. I laughed hard when he said he wanted to live on his own and she simply said "No." That was so funny.
I thought the solution of doubling the photo at the end was sweet.
I love Estabon yelling "Noooo!!!" upon being stuck with the plant and then dropping it out the window. That's one solution.
Fun episode. ****1/2.
Muppet Babies "The Best Best Friend"
You might accuse Fozzie of being paranoid, but truly Kermit was being insensitive. I don't like the moral being that Fozzie misread the situation. I think Kermit was treating him badly.
How was Rowlf? I like him and I like that he likes Beethoven like the original series version. Of course that version may have only liked him because Schroeder from Peanuts did.
Rowlf is cute, but I think the moral of this episode is misguided at best. ***.
Marvel's Avengers: Black Panther's Quest "Widowmaker"
This is going to be a tough review for me. Because I think people fully expect me to bash the episode. Anyone who has read these reviews will not be surprised by that. What they may find they dislike is that I am about to bash the entire Black Panther franchise. And it's because of this episode I'm like "This whole thing is stupid."
But we have a whole lot of other stupid to get through before we get there. Killmonger's actions in this episode make me think it was even stupider Panther took custody of him and then just left. What is especially infuriating is that he didn't even have to wind up taking him on the mission after all. He COULD have had the Atlanteans extract the info for him. They wouldn't be preparing to go to war and Bast might not be waiting for him when he got home.
It also made me question the idea that this is all going to Killmonger's plan. I was like "That is either a lie" or possibly the worst piece of writing claptrap I've ever heard on this show. Do you know what says it's untrue? He killed Attuna last week. In front of the Atlantean Royal Guard, with clearly no escape plan available to him and he simply lucked out that T'Challa is as bad at his job as he is. He did it in broad daylight and in front of everyone and he supposedly PLANNED for this outcome? This isn't a Xanatos' Gambit, or Xanatos Roulette, or even Xanatos 50 Car Pile-Up. It's Xanatos Unicorn and Puppy Farts. There is a sort of dumb logic behind most of the Xanatos tropes. But this example is a Master Plan that is easily proven to be spur of the moment and super dumb. If T'Challa IS playing into the dude's hands, T'Challa is an extra kind of thick.
And finally we get to the part of the episode that makes me think the entire premise is flawed from the ground up: The challenge to the crown from Bast. T'Challa correctly points out it was a perfectly legal challenge. My question is "Why?" After all that trouble that law has caused T'Challa and his people, why is it still on the books? It's a monarchy. He could have gotten rid of it if he wanted with no trouble whatsoever. And the law is so dumb and so damaging that I'm like "This entire premise is stupid". I'm rooting for characters fighting about something that would not even be a problem in a legitimate nation, Democratic or not. It's SO freaking stupid, and I'm tired of pretending it isn't. I think they could use the challenge to the crown ONCE (during T'Challa's origin story) but for it to be a continued problem says there is not anything about the monarchy of Wakanda actually worth rooting for. And T'Challa has been such a terrible leader this season, I'm starting to resent this show for taking a premise I sort of liked prior to this season, and putting all of the flaws in it front and center in a way the movie sort of was able to gloss over. And I resent the show for that. I loved the movie. And now because I'm thinking these things, I'll love it less when I see it again. I hate this show for that.
I grade on a curve so that's the only reason this episode isn't getting a zero. Most other shows I watch that deliver something like that would get one. *.
Star Wars Resistance "The Core Problem"
Not much to say this week except that it's a bit rich that Tam is complaining about being kept out of the loop at the end of episode. I don't know, maybe if she hadn't defended the freaking Empire last week I'd share a little bit of that righteous fury. But since she's "Go Team Genocide!" I think that girl needs to know as little as possible.
I'll miss BB-8 though. ***1/2.
DC Super Hero Girls Super Shorts "Get To Know: Supergirl"
I don't like Kara's design and personality. Feels all wrong. I seem to keep going back and forth on that opinion. **1/2.
Supergirl "Menagerie"
The idea that Ben Lockwood has decent poll numbers is supposed to be a commentary on the Trump dead-enders, but that cr*p did not start with Trump. Somebody did a relatively recent poll of Germany, and after everything that everybody knows, a solid 30% thought Hitler was good for Germany. Basically about 30% of any given population are hardwired to be pure monsters. It's not a Trump specific thing, and this phenomena will still be with us long after Trump is an ugly memory.
Honestly Lockwood sucking his son into this mess is the precise reason bigotry sucks.
There seems to be a debate over whether Lockwood is a terrorist or a hero. What he definitely is is a first degree mass murderer. I don't see any justification to free him under these circumstance whether his politics are popular or not.
Kara says she can't use her X-Ray vision to check if the couple they are checking up on are in coitus. Why not? It's preferable to walking in on them boinking.
Are marshmallow flowers actually a thing? I want to try one now.
Why is Lena even mad at James at all? For expressing a contrary opinion in as diplomatic a way as possible? An opinion, I should add, she seemed to share earlier in the episode. I'm gonna chalk this up to something that plagues this show a lot: Bad writing. Pure and simple.
Similarly Kara blaming herself for Alex's life sucking strikes me as incredibly narcissistic. What bothers me most is that the writers might make it true. But it shouldn't be, and wouldn't be on a different, better show.
How is it Nia's dream powers magically make her know how to fight? The answer is they shouldn't be able to do that.
The whole Baker pardon thing at the end was grotesque, but the most annoying thing about it is that this show is so stupid that they don't understand how pardons work. Accepting a pardon is an admission of guilt. You can't be released from prison on a pardon and claim to be vindicated at the same time. Anyone who does that is violating the terms of the pardon. Berlantiverse writers are SO stupid.
Also this show is playing is fast and loose with Lockwood's crimes. He killed plenty of humans who stood against him. Maybe the show is saying there isn't any direct evidence against him about those deaths. But he was the ringleader of the Children of Liberty, so he should get charged with the same crimes. In fact, even if he hadn't been convicted of killing any humans, he was sure suspected of it, which is another reason the pardon is dumb. Really, this show doesn't think much of me. I assure the show, the feeling is more than mutual.
The longer that went on, the unhappier I got. *1/2.
Unikitty! "P.L.O.T. Device"
I like Richard warning them not to tamper with the laws of boredom.
Puppycorn as a puppy eating himself was funny, but Unikitty as a kitty licking herself was nasty. You were clean 20 minutes ago. Now you're just on vacation.
Laughed that Master Frown didn't want to be a part of this.
Mostly funny but I think things got a little too crazy by the end. ****.
Unikitty! "Who Took Toast"
You know what? I bet old people without dentures ARE great kissers.
Puppycorn eating cotton candy with bugs in it off the floor is one of the reasons I so strongly dislike the character.
I love playing The Entertainer on the piano.
Cute episode. ***1/2.
Unikitty! "Rainbow Race"
I love it whenever the characters disassemble and reassemble like Legos.
I also laughed at Brock calling milk with cookies "Crucial". Totally.
Funny. ***.
Unikitty! "Beep"
It strikes me that most of the people in the Unikingdom would be unhappy. The kingdom gets blown up every other week, and Unikitty doesn't seem to care about the people at all.
Interesting that Taco Tuesday is still a thing on this show.
I like that Richard doesn't like being called Rick. Good to get that out in the open.
Brushing your teeth in the kitchen sink IS super gross.
I found the non-ending a bit annoying.
Otherwise it was a decent outing. ***1/2.
Unikitty! "Delivery Effect"
I loved Richard shooing the skeletons back into the closet.
Time Dad out! Funny.
Do you know what wasn't? The whole "Singin' to a flower" thing. I found that super annoying. What's weird is that it doesn't actually last that long. But it's so bad because Tara Strong is so miscast in the role of Unikitty. She turns in horrible voice performances week after week as this obnoxious character, who by the way, isn't actually SUPPOSED to be obnoxious at all, and wasn't until Strong started playing her.
Grrr. So-so episode, simply because Strong raised my hackles but good. **1/2.
Unikitty! "Lazer Tag"
Orange has no rhyme. Neither does purple or silver for that matter.
I love the guy saying lazers didn't affect him and Unikitty shooting him repeatedly anyways.
Unikitty also proves that stupid people DO use Yelp as a weapon.
Now Richard is an invisible as he feels.
This was okay but I'm starting to realize this is a REALLY bad show to binge. It takes a LOT out of you that the 11 minute weekly runtime does not. ***.
Unikitty! "Trapped In Paradise"
Yeah, this was NOT a smart show to binge. A little of that goes a long way. I found that super annoying. *.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Hot Soup: The Game"
It amazes me how great the 2-D animation is on this show compared to how sucky the CGI was on 2012. It's really no contest.
I love the Foot Guy's line reading on "Somebody's had her coffee." Even funnier was Donnie's "Sorry, if you didn't realize that was sarcasm. I AM in."
This show is enjoyable. It's been years since I've felt that way about a Turtles project. It's refreshing to be able to say that again. ****.
Transformers: Rescue Bots Academy "The TX3000"
I don't know why I'm watching a rescue show with so many incompetent and selfish characters. Real-world disasters do not occur to help Hotshot with his personal character growth.
No curve, zero stars. 0.
Transformers: Rescue Bots Academy "Little Bot Peep"
Speaking of which, the fact that Hoist is doing this because he thinks it's fun shows he is another Bot in this for the wrong reasons.
No curve, zero stars. 0.
The Simpsons "The Clown Stays In The Picture"
I don't dislike the past episodes as much as I do the future ones, but they always plays things too fast and loose. Marge and Homer had Bart super young, and had to rush into their marriage upon losing their virginity with each other. I don't see the time for them to have spent a summer making a movie.
I hope this episode makes Nancy Cartwright super uncomfortable. Scientologists suck.
I like Krusty saying that he's only a good person around Marge, and that he never wants to see her again. I especially like her telling him she feels the same way.
The whole kids cactus thing was weird.
Speaking of weird, it's stupid Fox has to give the episode a TV-14 rating because of cartoons butts. What I just saw on The Simpsons tonight, and what I saw on Family Guy are not equivalent, and it borders on the obscene that Fox thinks it is.
I'll be darned if I could tell you why it worked, but the wrap-up with the podcaster and Krusty in the Mexican theater, with the moviegoers both enjoying the movie, and misunderstanding it, was a super strong ending. It's not anything I've never seen before. But the dialogue and music was unusually strong. Most later season Simpsons episodes usually don't end on a strong note, even though the show is good again. So I take notice when it happens.
For some reason Marge being impressed when Krusty saying that he hopes nothing bad happens to Homer and then laughing gives me totally mixed feelings. On the one hand, it's why we love Marge. On the other hand, it's a stark reminder that all things considered, Marge is actually dumb. And what bothers me seeing the joke is being sad that it's not actually out of character for her to be this stupidly naive. And that both amuses me and bums me out like no tomorrow at the exact same time.
I don't love this episode. But I like it. Plus the ending was great. Simpsons won the night over Bob's Burgers and Family Guy too. ****.
Bob's Burgers "Every Which Way But Goose"
Disliked that immensely. A funny joke and line here and there cannot disguise how terrible both plots of the episode are.
Tina falling in love with a goose and fantasizing about laying half-human / half-goose eggs isn't funny. It's actually pathetic and super gross. All things considered, for a show that has been on the air for so long, Bob's Burgers is remarkably solid. The one exception is how desperate and crazy they have been making Tina. I am unsure why this is a particular quality the writers feel the need to top every episode. And Tina is the one thing on the show that has been getting worse.
But Gretchen sucks too. She is outright repulsive. On the other hand, I liked two things about the plot. I love Bob's insightful advice to Linda about how badly she was making Gretchen feel. Bob is scary wise. And I also liked Linda's solution to go as Gretchen's wedding date. Even five years ago that would not have flown as a plot resolution, but now it's a great no-brainer instead.
But honestly, I don't know what disturbs me more. How absolutely creepy Tina is, or the idea that the producers think I will find it funny. *1/2.
Family Guy "Trans-Fat"
I liked Ida's moving speech at the end, but until she makes it, the entire premise of the episode is in bad taste. It's all kinds of cringe until then, and I'm not sure it was actually great enough to warrant that level of discomfort.
The show has done an hilarious thing in recent years by having Patrick Warburton say amazingly creepy things in that deep macho voice of his. "I made poopies" is without a doubt one of his best line readings ever. It's not quite up to "Now you might see the very top of the crack, but that's not what it's all about" but it's the only line that's close. And he says it twice.
I love the Bob's Burgers crossover at the end, with Peter amending that it was not a roast because roasts are good-natured.
I didn't like the episode much, but it could have wound up worse. ***.
The Blacklist "General Shiro"
It's always good to see Mark Linn-Baker getting cast in dramatic roles. He was wasted on the sitcom Perfect Strangers. He's really talented at playing quirky characters, in this case a psychopath.
I hate Gus. I have always found him repulsive, but I was hoping beyond hope Dembe would kill him by the end of the episode. No such luck. I was disgusted Red felt the need to apologize to HIM.
Speaking of Dembe, I think we finally got a good idea about what Red owes Dembe. The dude didn't just save his life. He brought him back from death. That is a far more significant debt owed.
I just want to toss Gus in a giant blender and press frappe. ***1/2.
Blindspot "Through This Be Madness, Yet There Is Method In't"
That was pretty exciting.
Boston was fun to root for, and I like that Weitz finagled his hero moment into keeping his job. It looks like the next episode is gonna suck though, but that's a March problem. For now that was pretty great. ****1/2.
Take my negative review with a huge grain of salt. I am not the target demographic for this.
Kim Possible
After about a half hour of this nonsense I was going to start off my review like, "More like Kim Passable", but by the end I realized that joke would be overly generous.
So here is my relationship to the original show. I was an adult when it premiered, and didn't feel any affinity towards it. Not enough to have to want to ever put up with the creepy adult male fandom (which is the precise reason I'm avoiding My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic too). So I'm coming into this movie with few judgments. And the original creators are involved, so maybe it won't be so bad.
I could go over how bad the dialogue and the story are, but ultimately that seems like a pointless complaint. It's possible this was a problem on the cartoon too, but nobody minded because people forgive a lot more in cartoons than in live-action projects. And I just don't have it in me to go over why this project, obviously designed for teenage girls, doesn't meet my personal standards as an adult male. Maybe my complaints should be a little more general than that.
I'll bite. This was the wrong movie for the debut project. The movie seems to be more about Athena's arc than Kim's, which is completely unwise for the first project in the continuity ever. The producers of Star Trek Generations, in my mind the very worst Star Trek film, were very regretful that they had Picard cry in his first ever big screen appearance. And while I think that is actually the least of that movie's problems, I see the argument. Making Kim such a mess who is jealous and feeling inadequate throughout the movie is a really dumb place to put the character in her first ever appearance. Now the audience will think she's ALWAYS like that. It makes a bad first impression to see her going through this in the first movie. The first movie should be pretty basic I would think (they are totally overthinking making Athena a robot and partial traitor) and just have Kim be Kim, and not have Athena in it at all. Athena is the character you introduce in the second (or in my personal opinion) third movie to spice things up. She is not a first movie character, and it's troubling that the creators of the long-running series wrote a movie without realizing that.
Other complaints. This might go for society in general, so maybe I shouldn't have it out for this movie about this: But I think the movie, and most Disney Channel stuff, teaches little girls to value the wrong things. It's not like boy's entertainment doesn't do the same thing, but most boy's shows are sort of made under the understanding that they will attract adult nerd fans too, so they write it on a couple of levels. Disney Channel projects for girls are always all about the lipsticks and the make-overs and things like that. And as an adult male, maybe it's not something I should be judging the movie for. But maybe it's something I should be judging society for.
The kid who plays Ron Stoppable alarms me because he is far more cartoony and arch than Will Friedle's version ever was. There was a large contingent of animated series fans who were SERIOUS, borderline creepy shippers of the two leads, but Ron here is such a cartoon that there is no way anyone would want to see these characters pushed together. This could be good or bad depending on what's next. If the series simply decides to eschew sexual tension and romance in the live-action version, more power to them. I would actually love that. But if they try to push them together anyways, it would be like if Kimberly from Power Rangers ended up with Bulk or Skull.
I also feel like it's probable that the fight scenes are worse in live-action than animation. Granted, the old show was made before the era of tightly boarded action scenes in animation (the technology wasn't there yet) but I do seem to remember it was more impressive than most other cartoons. Because of budget considerations, the fights in live-action are slower and involve less people. Also since the project is G-rated, they have to make the punches land less hard than they do in a cartoon. I feel very little real jeopardy in the project for that reason.
I imagine fans will go into conniptions for how little Rufus is in the movie, but again this is the downside to live-action on a TV budget. He doesn't effect the plot, and is involved in none of the spyjinx. But truthfully I'm not surprised at all.
The one thing I liked was Todd Stashwick as Drakken. Stashwick has always been a solid character actor, and Stashwick did good here. What drives me bonkers about Stashwick is that when he was slightly younger, he wasn't a bad lookin' dude. He could have gotten lead roles if he wanted them back in the day. It's just he's SO good at playing psychopaths, that nobody was ever willing to cast him as anything else. Who knows? Maybe he tried out for hero roles once upon a time, and was all wrong for them. But he was definitely handsome enough to be cast in them if he COULD have done a proper good guy performance. I would have been curious to see what that would have looked like.
Part of me really wishes that adult women were into girl's cartoons and projects, because then maybe producers would put a little effort into better plots and dialogue. But since they aren't and they don't, I have to accept the movie on those terms. I don't have to like it though. *.
Elena Of Avalor "Two Left Fins"
Kind of a slight episode but it was enjoyable nonetheless. ***1/2.
Elena Of Avalor "Movin' On Up"
Laughed out loud at Matteo's mother being such a menace. I laughed hard when he said he wanted to live on his own and she simply said "No." That was so funny.
I thought the solution of doubling the photo at the end was sweet.
I love Estabon yelling "Noooo!!!" upon being stuck with the plant and then dropping it out the window. That's one solution.
Fun episode. ****1/2.
Muppet Babies "The Best Best Friend"
You might accuse Fozzie of being paranoid, but truly Kermit was being insensitive. I don't like the moral being that Fozzie misread the situation. I think Kermit was treating him badly.
How was Rowlf? I like him and I like that he likes Beethoven like the original series version. Of course that version may have only liked him because Schroeder from Peanuts did.
Rowlf is cute, but I think the moral of this episode is misguided at best. ***.
Marvel's Avengers: Black Panther's Quest "Widowmaker"
This is going to be a tough review for me. Because I think people fully expect me to bash the episode. Anyone who has read these reviews will not be surprised by that. What they may find they dislike is that I am about to bash the entire Black Panther franchise. And it's because of this episode I'm like "This whole thing is stupid."
But we have a whole lot of other stupid to get through before we get there. Killmonger's actions in this episode make me think it was even stupider Panther took custody of him and then just left. What is especially infuriating is that he didn't even have to wind up taking him on the mission after all. He COULD have had the Atlanteans extract the info for him. They wouldn't be preparing to go to war and Bast might not be waiting for him when he got home.
It also made me question the idea that this is all going to Killmonger's plan. I was like "That is either a lie" or possibly the worst piece of writing claptrap I've ever heard on this show. Do you know what says it's untrue? He killed Attuna last week. In front of the Atlantean Royal Guard, with clearly no escape plan available to him and he simply lucked out that T'Challa is as bad at his job as he is. He did it in broad daylight and in front of everyone and he supposedly PLANNED for this outcome? This isn't a Xanatos' Gambit, or Xanatos Roulette, or even Xanatos 50 Car Pile-Up. It's Xanatos Unicorn and Puppy Farts. There is a sort of dumb logic behind most of the Xanatos tropes. But this example is a Master Plan that is easily proven to be spur of the moment and super dumb. If T'Challa IS playing into the dude's hands, T'Challa is an extra kind of thick.
And finally we get to the part of the episode that makes me think the entire premise is flawed from the ground up: The challenge to the crown from Bast. T'Challa correctly points out it was a perfectly legal challenge. My question is "Why?" After all that trouble that law has caused T'Challa and his people, why is it still on the books? It's a monarchy. He could have gotten rid of it if he wanted with no trouble whatsoever. And the law is so dumb and so damaging that I'm like "This entire premise is stupid". I'm rooting for characters fighting about something that would not even be a problem in a legitimate nation, Democratic or not. It's SO freaking stupid, and I'm tired of pretending it isn't. I think they could use the challenge to the crown ONCE (during T'Challa's origin story) but for it to be a continued problem says there is not anything about the monarchy of Wakanda actually worth rooting for. And T'Challa has been such a terrible leader this season, I'm starting to resent this show for taking a premise I sort of liked prior to this season, and putting all of the flaws in it front and center in a way the movie sort of was able to gloss over. And I resent the show for that. I loved the movie. And now because I'm thinking these things, I'll love it less when I see it again. I hate this show for that.
I grade on a curve so that's the only reason this episode isn't getting a zero. Most other shows I watch that deliver something like that would get one. *.
Star Wars Resistance "The Core Problem"
Not much to say this week except that it's a bit rich that Tam is complaining about being kept out of the loop at the end of episode. I don't know, maybe if she hadn't defended the freaking Empire last week I'd share a little bit of that righteous fury. But since she's "Go Team Genocide!" I think that girl needs to know as little as possible.
I'll miss BB-8 though. ***1/2.
DC Super Hero Girls Super Shorts "Get To Know: Supergirl"
I don't like Kara's design and personality. Feels all wrong. I seem to keep going back and forth on that opinion. **1/2.
Supergirl "Menagerie"
The idea that Ben Lockwood has decent poll numbers is supposed to be a commentary on the Trump dead-enders, but that cr*p did not start with Trump. Somebody did a relatively recent poll of Germany, and after everything that everybody knows, a solid 30% thought Hitler was good for Germany. Basically about 30% of any given population are hardwired to be pure monsters. It's not a Trump specific thing, and this phenomena will still be with us long after Trump is an ugly memory.
Honestly Lockwood sucking his son into this mess is the precise reason bigotry sucks.
There seems to be a debate over whether Lockwood is a terrorist or a hero. What he definitely is is a first degree mass murderer. I don't see any justification to free him under these circumstance whether his politics are popular or not.
Kara says she can't use her X-Ray vision to check if the couple they are checking up on are in coitus. Why not? It's preferable to walking in on them boinking.
Are marshmallow flowers actually a thing? I want to try one now.
Why is Lena even mad at James at all? For expressing a contrary opinion in as diplomatic a way as possible? An opinion, I should add, she seemed to share earlier in the episode. I'm gonna chalk this up to something that plagues this show a lot: Bad writing. Pure and simple.
Similarly Kara blaming herself for Alex's life sucking strikes me as incredibly narcissistic. What bothers me most is that the writers might make it true. But it shouldn't be, and wouldn't be on a different, better show.
How is it Nia's dream powers magically make her know how to fight? The answer is they shouldn't be able to do that.
The whole Baker pardon thing at the end was grotesque, but the most annoying thing about it is that this show is so stupid that they don't understand how pardons work. Accepting a pardon is an admission of guilt. You can't be released from prison on a pardon and claim to be vindicated at the same time. Anyone who does that is violating the terms of the pardon. Berlantiverse writers are SO stupid.
Also this show is playing is fast and loose with Lockwood's crimes. He killed plenty of humans who stood against him. Maybe the show is saying there isn't any direct evidence against him about those deaths. But he was the ringleader of the Children of Liberty, so he should get charged with the same crimes. In fact, even if he hadn't been convicted of killing any humans, he was sure suspected of it, which is another reason the pardon is dumb. Really, this show doesn't think much of me. I assure the show, the feeling is more than mutual.
The longer that went on, the unhappier I got. *1/2.
Unikitty! "P.L.O.T. Device"
I like Richard warning them not to tamper with the laws of boredom.
Puppycorn as a puppy eating himself was funny, but Unikitty as a kitty licking herself was nasty. You were clean 20 minutes ago. Now you're just on vacation.
Laughed that Master Frown didn't want to be a part of this.
Mostly funny but I think things got a little too crazy by the end. ****.
Unikitty! "Who Took Toast"
You know what? I bet old people without dentures ARE great kissers.
Puppycorn eating cotton candy with bugs in it off the floor is one of the reasons I so strongly dislike the character.
I love playing The Entertainer on the piano.
Cute episode. ***1/2.
Unikitty! "Rainbow Race"
I love it whenever the characters disassemble and reassemble like Legos.
I also laughed at Brock calling milk with cookies "Crucial". Totally.
Funny. ***.
Unikitty! "Beep"
It strikes me that most of the people in the Unikingdom would be unhappy. The kingdom gets blown up every other week, and Unikitty doesn't seem to care about the people at all.
Interesting that Taco Tuesday is still a thing on this show.
I like that Richard doesn't like being called Rick. Good to get that out in the open.
Brushing your teeth in the kitchen sink IS super gross.
I found the non-ending a bit annoying.
Otherwise it was a decent outing. ***1/2.
Unikitty! "Delivery Effect"
I loved Richard shooing the skeletons back into the closet.
Time Dad out! Funny.
Do you know what wasn't? The whole "Singin' to a flower" thing. I found that super annoying. What's weird is that it doesn't actually last that long. But it's so bad because Tara Strong is so miscast in the role of Unikitty. She turns in horrible voice performances week after week as this obnoxious character, who by the way, isn't actually SUPPOSED to be obnoxious at all, and wasn't until Strong started playing her.
Grrr. So-so episode, simply because Strong raised my hackles but good. **1/2.
Unikitty! "Lazer Tag"
Orange has no rhyme. Neither does purple or silver for that matter.
I love the guy saying lazers didn't affect him and Unikitty shooting him repeatedly anyways.
Unikitty also proves that stupid people DO use Yelp as a weapon.
Now Richard is an invisible as he feels.
This was okay but I'm starting to realize this is a REALLY bad show to binge. It takes a LOT out of you that the 11 minute weekly runtime does not. ***.
Unikitty! "Trapped In Paradise"
Yeah, this was NOT a smart show to binge. A little of that goes a long way. I found that super annoying. *.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Hot Soup: The Game"
It amazes me how great the 2-D animation is on this show compared to how sucky the CGI was on 2012. It's really no contest.
I love the Foot Guy's line reading on "Somebody's had her coffee." Even funnier was Donnie's "Sorry, if you didn't realize that was sarcasm. I AM in."
This show is enjoyable. It's been years since I've felt that way about a Turtles project. It's refreshing to be able to say that again. ****.
Transformers: Rescue Bots Academy "The TX3000"
I don't know why I'm watching a rescue show with so many incompetent and selfish characters. Real-world disasters do not occur to help Hotshot with his personal character growth.
No curve, zero stars. 0.
Transformers: Rescue Bots Academy "Little Bot Peep"
Speaking of which, the fact that Hoist is doing this because he thinks it's fun shows he is another Bot in this for the wrong reasons.
No curve, zero stars. 0.
The Simpsons "The Clown Stays In The Picture"
I don't dislike the past episodes as much as I do the future ones, but they always plays things too fast and loose. Marge and Homer had Bart super young, and had to rush into their marriage upon losing their virginity with each other. I don't see the time for them to have spent a summer making a movie.
I hope this episode makes Nancy Cartwright super uncomfortable. Scientologists suck.
I like Krusty saying that he's only a good person around Marge, and that he never wants to see her again. I especially like her telling him she feels the same way.
The whole kids cactus thing was weird.
Speaking of weird, it's stupid Fox has to give the episode a TV-14 rating because of cartoons butts. What I just saw on The Simpsons tonight, and what I saw on Family Guy are not equivalent, and it borders on the obscene that Fox thinks it is.
I'll be darned if I could tell you why it worked, but the wrap-up with the podcaster and Krusty in the Mexican theater, with the moviegoers both enjoying the movie, and misunderstanding it, was a super strong ending. It's not anything I've never seen before. But the dialogue and music was unusually strong. Most later season Simpsons episodes usually don't end on a strong note, even though the show is good again. So I take notice when it happens.
For some reason Marge being impressed when Krusty saying that he hopes nothing bad happens to Homer and then laughing gives me totally mixed feelings. On the one hand, it's why we love Marge. On the other hand, it's a stark reminder that all things considered, Marge is actually dumb. And what bothers me seeing the joke is being sad that it's not actually out of character for her to be this stupidly naive. And that both amuses me and bums me out like no tomorrow at the exact same time.
I don't love this episode. But I like it. Plus the ending was great. Simpsons won the night over Bob's Burgers and Family Guy too. ****.
Bob's Burgers "Every Which Way But Goose"
Disliked that immensely. A funny joke and line here and there cannot disguise how terrible both plots of the episode are.
Tina falling in love with a goose and fantasizing about laying half-human / half-goose eggs isn't funny. It's actually pathetic and super gross. All things considered, for a show that has been on the air for so long, Bob's Burgers is remarkably solid. The one exception is how desperate and crazy they have been making Tina. I am unsure why this is a particular quality the writers feel the need to top every episode. And Tina is the one thing on the show that has been getting worse.
But Gretchen sucks too. She is outright repulsive. On the other hand, I liked two things about the plot. I love Bob's insightful advice to Linda about how badly she was making Gretchen feel. Bob is scary wise. And I also liked Linda's solution to go as Gretchen's wedding date. Even five years ago that would not have flown as a plot resolution, but now it's a great no-brainer instead.
But honestly, I don't know what disturbs me more. How absolutely creepy Tina is, or the idea that the producers think I will find it funny. *1/2.
Family Guy "Trans-Fat"
I liked Ida's moving speech at the end, but until she makes it, the entire premise of the episode is in bad taste. It's all kinds of cringe until then, and I'm not sure it was actually great enough to warrant that level of discomfort.
The show has done an hilarious thing in recent years by having Patrick Warburton say amazingly creepy things in that deep macho voice of his. "I made poopies" is without a doubt one of his best line readings ever. It's not quite up to "Now you might see the very top of the crack, but that's not what it's all about" but it's the only line that's close. And he says it twice.
I love the Bob's Burgers crossover at the end, with Peter amending that it was not a roast because roasts are good-natured.
I didn't like the episode much, but it could have wound up worse. ***.
The Blacklist "General Shiro"
It's always good to see Mark Linn-Baker getting cast in dramatic roles. He was wasted on the sitcom Perfect Strangers. He's really talented at playing quirky characters, in this case a psychopath.
I hate Gus. I have always found him repulsive, but I was hoping beyond hope Dembe would kill him by the end of the episode. No such luck. I was disgusted Red felt the need to apologize to HIM.
Speaking of Dembe, I think we finally got a good idea about what Red owes Dembe. The dude didn't just save his life. He brought him back from death. That is a far more significant debt owed.
I just want to toss Gus in a giant blender and press frappe. ***1/2.
Blindspot "Through This Be Madness, Yet There Is Method In't"
That was pretty exciting.
Boston was fun to root for, and I like that Weitz finagled his hero moment into keeping his job. It looks like the next episode is gonna suck though, but that's a March problem. For now that was pretty great. ****1/2.
