"Tremors 5: Bloodlines" Review (Spoilers)
Feb. 15th, 2017 08:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matt_zimmerAlso reviews for the latest episodes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers Ninja Steel, The Simpsons, Sleepy Hollow, Grimm, Bob's Burgers, Son Of Zorn, Family Guy, Emerald City, Colony, The Blacklist, and Blindspot.
Upcoming reviews include Doctor Who: Series 9, The X-Files: Season 10, Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), Captain America: Civil War (Blu-Ray), Daredevil: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Deadpool, X-Men: Apocalypse (Blu-Ray), The Lion Guard: Return Of The Roar (DVD), Zootopia, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), The Good Dinosaur (Blu-Ray), Finding Dory (Blu-Ray), Once Upon A Time: Season 5, The BFG, Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Blu-Ray), Star Wars Rebels: Season 2, Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales, Lego Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures: Season One, Jim Henson's Turkey Hollow (DVD), Justice League Vs. Teen Titans, Batman: The Killing Joke, Teen Titans Go!: Get In Pig Out, Suicide Squad (Blu-Ray), The Flash: Season 2, Arrow: Season 4, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow: Season 1, Supergirl: Season 1, Gotham: Season 2, iZombie: Season 1, iZombie: Season 2, Lucifer: Season 1, Be Cool Scooby Doo!: Spooky Kooky Fun!, Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Prod.: Hare-Raising Tales, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Beyond The Known Universe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Earth's Last Stand, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Half-Shell Heroes: Blast To The Past, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Powr Rangers: Megaforce: The Complete Season, Power Rangers: Super Megaforce: The Complete Season, Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Season 1, Heroes Reborn: The Complete Series, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, The Legend Of Korra: The Complete Series, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Haven: The Final Season, Under The Dome: Season 3, Quantum Leap: Season 1, Quantum Leap: Season 2, Quantum Leap: Season 3, Quantum Leap: Season 4, Quantum Leap: Season 5, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Sleepy Hollow: Season 3, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 3, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Shaun The Sheep: The Farmer's Llamas, 12 Monkeys: Season 1, 12 Monkeys: Season 2, Grimm: Season 4, Grimm: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 6, The Peanuts Movie, Peanuts By Schulz: Snoopy Tales, Bob's Burgers: Season 5, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay: Part 2, Ghostbusters: Answer: The Call, Community: Season 6, Red Dwarf XI, Hannibal: Season 1, Hannibal: Season 2, Hannibal: Season 3, Preacher: Season One, Degrassi Junior High: The Complete Series, Degrassi High: The Complete Series, Danger Mouse: The Complete Series, Game Of Thrones: Season 5, and Game of Thrones: Season 6.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Tokka vs. The World"
Raph vs. Bishop? Unfairest fight ever.
What I love about how Bishop fights the Turtles, is that it is always defensively, and he never actually even tries to strike them. And Raph still got punked.
Loved Bishop cutting loose on those EPF soldiers. I liked the last one giving up and silently asking for permission for Bishop to merely pretend he knocked him out and play possum. That was so funny. I truly think Bishop is better than the EPF deserves.
I groaned at Bishop participating in the high three, but this version of Bishop is WAY more benevolent with the Turtles than usual, so I'll let it slide.
Pretty good. ****.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Tale Of Tiger Claw"
I'm impressed what they got away with on a TV-Y7 rating.
First off, severing Tiger Claw's arm was hardcore. We didn't actually see everything, but the implication was clear.
Similarly, even though Splinter's Drunken Master routine at the beginning wasn't explicitly called that, that is obviously what is was. Similarly, the hippie dropping the beer can was the hint of another character being inebriated.
I like the idea that Mikey has better intuition than Raph. Raph may be the better fighter, but it makes sense Mikey has certain skills that he does not.
The sick slow-mo scene at the end of Casey avoiding all of those deadly things to retrieve the blade was cool.
The teaser was great. It was so great, I almost hoped we were going to get an entire episode from Tiger Claw's perspective. I would not have complained.
I laughed at Rocksteady beatboxing. He is so white.
Great week. *****.
Power Rangers Ninja Steel "Forged In Steel"
I kinda like Mick. He's like a more annoying version of Enterprise's Dr. Phlox. No, you know what? I can't even pretend that. Phlox was super annoying his own dang self.
New Rangers reciting their Morphin and Zord oaths perfectly on the first and second tries will never stop annoying me.
Is the dog Zord seriously named the Cody Zord? Seriously?
What am I doing watching this? What is my damage? **.
Power Rangers Ninja Steel "Live And Learn"
So apparently the Power Rangers can simply guess that their Zords can form a Megazord without ever having to be told that. I hate this franchise so much. 0.
Power Rangers Ninja Steel "Presto Change-O"
Is the "We need a show good enough for the Rangers!" line a meta moment?
Hearing the Ninja / Turtle joke is interesting because Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation is still considered canon with this franchise.
Let me get this straight. Preston disfigures Monty, but Brody says to leave him be because they have more pressing concerns? Does that seem right to you? Also Preston's spell at the end should have worked. Because it establishes the magic only works when he's helping somebody. Well, he was trying to: Monty. Monty saying he liked his new square body was far more forgiving than the situation called.
What is the deal with the beauty shot of the truck at the end? Is this an actual product placement for a car in a show aimed at seven year olds? Usually this show not knowing it's target audience is NOT a problem. This was. Totally.
This show is a hot mess. *1/2.
The Simpsons "Fatzcarraldo"
Oh, my lord, I freaking LOVE that hot dog cook! One of Kevin Michael Richardson's finest performances anywhere EVER. Do you know what the best thing about him is? He is easily the most visually expressive Simpsons character of all time. As eye-popping as the Simpsons and the world of Springfield look, due to Matt Groening's simple art style, none of the characters are all that expressive in the face. When that cook was singing that hot dog song with Homer, I could read the delight in his eyes, in a way I have NEVER seen a Simpsons design work before. And it's the fact that I've never seen it before which tells me it's amazing.
I love Lisa's interviews around the school. Bless her, she cares far more about the school and the town than it deserves.
The story sort of petered out at the end, but because of the cook, and a bunch of great observational jokes, I'm declaring this episode a success. ****.
Sleepy Hollow "The People v Ichabod Crane"
I liked it. And I realize how valuable Lyndie Greenwood is going to be for the season, and possibly the rest of the series. She will not be one of the focal characters. But I think she is the make-or-break character for the make-or-break retooled season of the show.
Why do I think this? Aside from being the only old cast member besides Crane, her role to the team seems to be invaluable. Did you see how well she improvised when she was caught by those army guys? True, it didn't work, but that's only because the gun fell out of the bag. Jenny is far better suited to this kind of work than anyone else on the show.
Plus, she brings people together. When she describes to Diane that the idea that such a beautiful connection that Crane and Abbie had is actually a gift, and not frightening at all, I knew at that moment Diane was going to consent. And I'm betting that's when Diane realized it too. The second the words "gift" escaped Jenny's mouth, the controversy was settled, I think.
I think her explanation that everybody's lives are intertwined was proven in the bar scene. Some people will see that as random bad writing, and Diane having an unlikely, surprise connection to the guy they had to convince because the writers were trying to build up her credibility with the audience in an unearned manner. That's not what moment meant to me. It meant that everyone's lives are SO intertwined, that God or The Universe, or whoever actually runs things, brought the only person possible who could get Jenny out of that bar alive. It's not a badly written coincidence. It's the show's demonstration of Fate. Some people may think that's the same thing. And there IS an argument for that, as these seemingly badly written coincidences seem to infect all apocalyptic prophecy fantasies. But that one of the drawbacks of the genre. If you do not subvert that trope (and most shows in the genre cannot by necessity) the next best thing is to embrace it.
What I DIDN'T like is that the show didn't outright say that was what was going on. I think it should have. It's possible the writers were so clueless that the subtext I just described was unintentional, and they weren't aware of it when they wrote. But that doesn't mean the subtext that the audience takes from that moment doesn't exist. Oftentimes fan reaction guides how show producers view things. But I wish that moment had been made a little more explicit. It almost makes a scene that is clearly destiny seem accidental.
I'd say it was nice to see Henry again, but as much as I love John Noble the actor, that statement would never be true. I liked his face in the jar at the end. That tells me that if the show isn't canceled, a sequel to the episode is coming.
Do you know what was sucked though? There were a couple of points where I thought this episode didn't work because Nicole Beharie and Katia Winter weren't here. Imagine how juicy the episode would have been had Abbie and Katrina shamed Crane on the witness stand, and both told him he blamed him for their deaths. And since it's Crane's mind that's what should have happened. It was an unpleasant reminder that this is just a TV show and cannot always get the cast members it needs to tell the story properly. I think Nicole Beharie leaving when she did pretty much destroyed the show and this episode, as otherwise good as it was, showed why. The sad thing is, I understand completely why she left, and do not blame her in the slightest. By the end of season 3, the show had gotten outright terrible. I get why she would no longer want to be embarrassed by it.
But her leaving DID destroy the show, for real, and for reasons outside of actual quality, and it most certainly will not recover. I'm tempted to grade this season on it's own curve due to this fact, but season three tells me I should NEVER give this show the benefit of the doubt. It doesn't deserve it. So if I see a bad episode, or a bad thing in an otherwise GOOD episode that is due to Beharie being absent, I am still going to point it out.
Still, I can't deny this was better than usual. ***1/2.
Sleepy Hollow "Blood From A Stone'
The good news:
The reason Dreyfuss wants immortality is a good one. Because immortality is a worthless gift in a show with an afterlife. But if you've sold your soul to the Devil, suddenly it makes sense.
The bad news:
Unfortunately this make Dreyfuss much less of a bad guy than he should be. His goal to find the Philosopher's Stone is not actual evil in and of itself. Which is kind of a problem for the show. Yeah, he doesn't care if people die while he gets it, but just the fact that his goals are NOT apocalyptic make him a MUCH less dangerous bad guy than Moloch, the Headless Horseman, Henry, Pandora, and the Hidden One. Unless Dreyfuss needs to destroy the world for some reason, Sleepy Hollow has much fewer stakes this season.
I'm glad the show give Jeremy Davies such a grody haircut in the flashback because the idea that somebody else was "The Face" is ludicrous as long as Davies remains as good looking as he still is. It's one thing for Davies to be cast as tweakers and freaks. I can buy that. But when they ask me to tell me those freaks are unattractive, my response is "I am not blind." Still, the ugly haircut helped.
The soul selling thing was unlike any I've seen so far in that Dreyfuss was practically blackmailed into it. He didn't really have all that much of a choice in that moment (he was put in immediate physical jeopardy) and signed because his balls were in a vice.
Is it just me or would Jenny have made a better Witness? She is the most useful member of the cast.
All right. Look forward to the Homecoming next week. ***.
Sleepy Hollow "Homecoming"
I think Diane is trying to feel out whether or not Crane feels betrayed by the revelation that Washington kept secrets from him because Crane did the same to her, and she wants him to know what it was like. But to be honest. there is no comparison between Washington's betrayal and Crane waiting to tell Diane everything. Crane was right to do that while Washington was very wrong.
I love that they tied the Philosopher's Stone into the mythology of the Pilot. I especially like that I was right that there weren't any world shattering consequences (yet) for Dreyfuss pursuing Immortality. The "life for a life" thing had me worried for awhile but Dreyfuss is good with loopholes.
I love Jenny saying she was surrounded by ghosts but that she loved them all. What a beautiful way to put grief.
Crane and the slushie was hilarious and I laughed that Crane seems to be a hardcore Harry Potter fan. I also liked his jukebox choice of "I Put A Spell On You."
Slightly above average episode. ***1/2.
Grimm "El Cuegle"
I had a problem with the scenario.
Okay, if I could go back in time and kill Hitler and Bin Laden when they were babies, I would. No question. I've never murdered anyone, but if I were given that chance, I would. I'd damage my own soul to protect the innocent. The scenario the episode is asking me to see shows that things are not black and white there.
Except...
El Cuegle eats the babies.
That makes him a monster. If he were both concerned about the future and a decent person, he would simply snap the baby's neck in his crib. The fact that he doesn't do that can't even be blamed on a biological need. He felt so guilty he returned a kid who later murdered 10 people. He can fight this urge. That fact that he gives into it makes him every bit the evil he is trying to prevent.
Murder is not a good thing. But in that completely fictitious setting, it's all right. Until you eat the person. Then YOU are the bad guy.
I understand why they did it. Because then there would be no kidnapping, and the episode's premise couldn't work. But just that fact that he eats the babies means the episode's premise was NEVER gonna work.
I loved Nick reiterating he would like a medal. It shows that despite the Captain's threats, he, Hank, and Wu don't fear the Captain in the slightest. He's got nuthin' on them, and there is nothing he can do about it.
Renard's conversation with Diana about how Bonaparte died was interesting. Diana seems more than a little bit of a sociopath by blaming her father for something they both know was not his doing. They both know it and they both know they both know it. Yet Diana refuses to pretend the situation was anything but Daddy protecting Mommy.
I am both a little relieved about Diana and Nick, and a little concerned. First off, she seems okay with the idea that Adalind loves Nick. That's good. It means he won't be killed anytime soon for supposedly breaking up Mommy and Daddy. Relief there. It is also good that she tells her father that she doesn't take the fact that he says Nick was behind the split at face value. Adalind knew he'd say that because Renard is a manipultive bunghole. So Diana lets him know she saw that response coming. Interestingly her father asking her if she considered Mommy was wrong, and Diana shrugging, was a good thing too. It means Diana is independent. Diana can make her own decisions. And since Renard is clearly in the wrong, and Nick and Adalind obviously love each other, she will probably see through her father's lies on her own.
But there's one thing that bothers me.
When she says Nick would regret if he ever hurt Mommy, and that she's already thought about this, Renard thinks it's because she is worried that Nick is dangerous and could become physically abusive to her. What if that isn't it at all? What if she sees the stolen glances between Juliet at Nick and worries they are going to get back together? That would absolutely destroy Adalind, and be all the push Diana needs to take on Nick. And I don't think Nick could beat Diana without killing her, and since she's Adalind's kid, that isn't an option. Even the Healing Stick might not be enough to escape this kid's wrath if he and Juliet reconcile.
I don't think he and Juliet SHOULD reconcile though. I hate Nick and Adalind, and I hate that the show asks me to accept them as a couple when they are only together because she raped Nick and destroyed his family. But I kind of go along with it (even though I shouldn't) because even if the word rape never escapes any of the character's lips, they are fully aware that is why they are together. It's why their relationship is messy, and will never be healthy. And it's the fact that they both know that which is the reason I am willing to tolerate it a little bit. I will be unhappy if Nick gets back with Juliet by the end of the series, but I'll be REALLY unhappy if he stays with Adalind too. I'd rather face Diana's wrath.
Speaking of Juliet and the Healing Stick, the show asking me to feel sympathy for Juliet upon hearing Nick say he loves Adalind is a bit ridiculous. She blew up the trailer and killed his mother. She had the high ground with Nick's deplorable treatment of her for most of the fourth season. Until she blew up the trailer. Then she's the villain. Her killing his Mom just tells me Nick should NEVER forgive her.
What was up with Juliet carving those symbols in the wall? Does she want Nick to know she was there? Because that's all that does.
I was disappointed but not surprised it's not Meisner. On the other hand, I don't think it's nothing. The Captain isn't imagining it, and whether he's a ghost or a Jedi mind trick, the Captain himself is not crazy (at least not about that). Why? Because Meisner was still there when the Captain left the room. I noticed that. Which tells me something else is going on besides survivor's guilt.
Speaking of which, I didn't like how Meisner was portrayed. He was far too snarky and happy-go-lucky for this grim (pun unintended) and laconic character. Plus I always detected a hint of a German accent when Damien Puckler previously played him, and here he's an all American fratboy butthole here. Maybe that's the point. Maybe the people making Sean see Meisner don't actually GET Meisner. But it still bugs the cr*p out of me.
I probably would have liked the episode MUCH more if the villain was NOT a cannibal. The morality there would have been a LOT more grey if he weren't. ***1/2.
Grimm "The Seven Year Itch"
I love that the super hot female goddess of desire is a very overweight woman. And you know what? She is sexy and you can believe two attractive men would fight for her. I almost resent them making her a hippo Wesen at the end, but the fact that she bit her attacker's head off was a more than fair trade-off in female empowerment messages.
I love that her reaction to Nick is to say "So you're the Grimm," and then to crack a cute flirtatious joke at him. Because it shows something the series has gotten away from since the introduction of Black Claw: Nick making inroads in the Wesen Community. She already knew he existed, and she also knows him by good reputation and that he isn't a threat to her, even when he has a gun on her. I like that Wesen talk. And people like Bud and Monroe talk up Nick.
The stuff with Renard and Meisner was interesting, although the fortuneteller booth the guy hauled out seemed a bit ridiculous. I also have no clue what is going on with Eve OR Diana. I will say this: The kid that got for Diana is good. I'm not going to say she's as good as David Masouz or Maisie Williams, but she is perfect. Again, it's hard to compare, because she never really stretches the way Bruce Wayne or Arya Stark do, so I don't know if she's capable of anything but creepy. But since the character is nothing but creepy, perhaps she doesn't need to be. She nails what the writers give her.
I don't buy the Wesen being a frontier pioneer. Because to build up that kind of reputation would take longer than a single day. The show didn't think that bit out very well.
All in all, a good week. ****.
Grimm "Breakfast In Bed"
Elephant in the room: Anyone going to comment on the fact that Nick just murdered the hotel manager for no reason? Yeah, he was violent, but Nick attacked him. He wasn't actually guilty. How on Earth are they going to explain both his death and the death of the Aelp? Sloppy.
As for Meisner what it proved to me is that it IS something. It's not in Renard's head. Whether it's a haunting or somebody else mindscrewing him doesn't matter. He wouldn't have been able to know about the men waiting by the car if he were simply imaginary. I hope this isn't the last we've seen of this as the episode hinted. We are due an explanation.
Monroe doesn't like needles! To be fair, that particular needle was daunting.
Didn't like this much. **.
Bob's Burgers "Bob Actually"
White people and hip hop are exactly that bad. And always have been. Frankly, I think Jamie Kennedy actually portrays wannabes as cooler than they actually are. This episode is wannabes. One hundred percent. I love that Linda loves the dance. She is so lame. I get a kick out of the idea that Bob knew she would like it.
I really liked the plot of Louise and Regular-Sized Rudy, because it played out differently than any Louise plot I've seen. I fully expected the revelation that Rudy bought the love-weeds for another girl to make Louise jealous, but the series is smart enough to realize that isn't really Louise's thing. She's actually concerned about Rudy's happiness and tries to bully the girl into going through with the kiss. She DOESN'T actually like or want Rudy herself. But she is his friend and she knows he doesn't deserve to be taken advantage of. Even by someone with such sweet smelling hair.
To be honest, I saw Louise kissing him coming a mile away, but I love it because even if it is ostensibly a pity kiss, she makes it magnificent. It's her first kiss too, and she puts everything she has in it for Rudy. And that's not usually what pity kisses and pity sex are like. But Louise knows Rudy deserves better than that girl, even if only for a moment, so she actually does something about it. And if Rudy tells anyone, she'll kill him.
I haven't liked Louise in a couple of seasons. They've made her stupid and unlikable for no real reason. This was a return to form for the character. ****1/2.
Son Of Zorn "The Quest For Craig"
Edie is the worst.
I love that Craig's brother is even more pathetic than he is. And I see exactly why his wife prefers Craig. Big time.
Alan's disaster on the football field proves something: strength does not equal precision or skill. It makes no sense for the coach to expect him to kick a field goal when he has never even practiced doing it before.
I would somehow like this show even more if it were centered around Craig. ****.
Family Guy "Peter's Def Jam"
Very smart to get Marlee Matlin's perspective in this.
Biggest laugh was Dr. Hartman walking off laughing saying "Enjoy your life."
Alex Borstein is VERY good at playing sick. It actually sounds like she's near-death and licked a hundred doorknobs.
Byrd-Watching: Good.
Tom Sizemore's Game of Life is played exactly the way you'd expect it to be played. But perhaps the pieces should be moving backwards.
And yes, Chelsea Handler is exactly that gross. I do not get her appeal. At all.
Funny episode. ***1/2.
Emerald City "Everybody Lies"
Back on track.
Ozma is playing a very dangerous game, but in her defense, it's working because West is so thick. You should NOT be able to so brazenly lie to a chick who can mindread, but since West is stupid, it's a risk that can pay off. And that was SOME brazen lie.
I love that Dorothy escapes the same way Andy Dufreunse does in Shawshank. Through the poophole.
Speaking of Dorothy, we finally got the "Good witch or a bad witch" line from West. And I admire this Dorothy for refusing to answer it, and this West for saying there is no wrong answer. Because that is something that should be true.
In the real world, everyone thinks they are good. Donald Trump's entire shtick is that while he is the most evil person currently alive, he also thinks he's the best. And every single bad person thinks that. We are all the heroes of our own stories. And people who think they are actually bad, probably aren't deep down. But actual bad people think They Have Their Reasons. So that always rankled me about the question, as did the fact that the West of the movie and book self-identifies as Wicked. That's exactly as dumb as The Brotherhood Of Evil. Except Marvel rightly got cr*p thrown at it for how cheesy and dumb that was, (so much so they wound up shortening it to just The Brotherhood) while Oz is considered a classic book and movie, and nobody has a problem with it.
But let's stipulate that the earlier versions of Oz had evil people self-aware enough to identify themselves as such. What really bothers me about the question is that Glinda thinks Dorothy has to answer it.
Dorothy's protestation "I'm not a witch!" is the wrong answer. The right answer is "Why do I have to be one or the other?" Is there no such thing as a medium witch? A neutral witch? The good or bad question is asking a young girl to immediately pick a side in a war she knows nothing about. Something where people are going to wind up dead. The fact that Dorothy chooses correctly immediately is due more to luck and wording than actual virtue. And that bugs the cr*p out of me too.
Dorothy should have immediately known that wasn't her mother. Her answers were SO vague they were clearly given by someone who knew no more than the Witch did. Dorothy only fell for that trick because she wanted to.
Speaking of falling for tricks, here something interesting: the Dorothy on this series IS a murderer on some level. Maybe not a murderer. But a manslaughterer. You could argue self-defense and extenuating circumstances and you'd be right. But she DID deliberately trick East into killing herself. If those extenuating circumstances did not exist, Dorothy would be guilty of murder. As of now, she deliberate caused a homicide and West is both right to be p*ssed, and to say that Dorothy is lying to her. Because she is. She killed East and refuses to take responsibility for it. Which hints to me that Lucas is a better person than her simply because he refuses to make the same mistake.
I thought a rock montage was the most inappropriate thing for this show ever, until it is surprisingly revealed the Wizard likes and is listening to Pink Floyd. We definitely saw music in Oz for the first time. My theory that it did not exist until people from our world shared it was incorrect.
When Ev say Jack is her friend, it can read one of two ways: either she is completely innocent, or a total sociopath. In the favor of her being a sociopath is her telling the Wizard that her greatest desire is to see him and Emerald City drown once the Beast Forever gets done with it. In favor of the idea that she is innocent is her unexpected kiss with Jack. But as Jack noted, friends don't do that to each other. And Jack knows this better than anyone in Oz.
The "Do that to each other" line is interesting because it is clear that Jack sees a kiss as a violation, at least when it comes from him. Ozma may be completely messed up by her sexuality, but she completely damaged Jack sexually too by pushing him off a building for doing that. Now any sexual overture is seen by Jack as something bad someone does to someone else, instead of something good two people share together. This might be why the Tin Man's heart is mess.
Speaking of the Tin Man, I am a bit amused and exasperated Jack didn't think to use his tin appendages in the fight quicker than he did, and that the idea was an accident. Jack is only weak in that scenario because he believes he is and doesn't know any better. I get living the way Jack now has to is an adjustment, but you'd think he'd have spent some of those nights in the lab thinking about what the new limbs could accomplish, instead of only what they took away.
Here's a creeper question: Does the Tin Man still have a penis? Does he even WANT a relationship with Ev or is he simply confused? TBD...
I am going to ask a tough question. It's a question that is nonsense in real-world applications, and if you asked this about regular people, you'd be a monster. But the Beast Forever supposedly wants to destroy Oz. And all signs are either Dorothy being the Beast Forever, or the Beast Forever being a combo of her and her friends. Here's the horrible question: Is the Beast Forever wrong for doing that?
It's horrible, and it's genocide, and it's something we could not ask of real people, even if aliens came upon Donald Trump's America and thought we weren't worthy to survive. But this is a fictitious situation. It is not real. God commits genocide routinely in the Bible, and it's possible the Beast Forever might be God causing the Great Flood and only deeming the worthy to survive.
Why do I think that? Let's just say if a meteor came and wiped Westeros off the face of the map, I would think it had it coming on some level. That place was non-stop suck, and literally everyone there does nothing but hurt, rape, molest, and kill each other. Even supposedly good people like the Starks don't seem to actually love each other, and seem to only tolerate each other because they were forced into arranged marriages. God starts a Great Flood in Game of Thrones, and his actions make more sense there than they do in the actual freaking Bible!
Despite the fact that Oz is a TV-14 level of suck instead of a TV-MA level of suck, it isn't all that much better. Oz is still a pit, and I have yet to meet or have seen a single happy person there. Maybe the Beast Forever knocking over the house of cards and starting over is NOT the bad thing people are making it out to be. And that's only true in fiction. But I'm starting to think that it may be true here.
Is the Wizard Dorothy's father? How does he know her mother? I look forward to finding out, now that I know that the first two good episodes weren't a fluke, and the show is occasionally gonna be good. ****1/2.
Emerlad City "Beautiful Wickedness"
I hate the Wizard so much. Of course his disdain of magic is due to sexual inadequacy. That's the subtext rapidly becoming text. Poor Anna. She deserved better. She did nothing but help Frank out and he kills her because he is stupid. Idiot.
I have to say if Dorothy is going off to try and make peace with Glinda, the Wizard is working against her. What's especially bad about that is that Dorothy's plan is an amazing one and would have probably worked. As of now, the Wizard is causing his own troubles.
Even if the Wizard is a scumbag (and he is) this show is different from Game of Thrones in a very significant way. None of the characters, not even the bad guys, are malicious. All of the conflict is due to accidents or misunderstandings. If the entire cast sat in the same room and talked things out we could have a series finale in 1 episode. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.
Ozma's declaration of love to Jack was an example of "Too late". I was wondering how she thought he'd actually respond to that. It was quite galling.
Good one week, bad the next. Baddish week. **1/2.
Emerald City "They Came First"
Vincent D'Onffrio plays the Wizard entirely different by this episode. Once he shot Anna at the end of the last episode, the Wizard is entirely sinister and there is no wondering about his motivations. He is a bad guy.
Interestingly, the Wicked Witch of the West may be a good guy. Good to hear the name Ozma for the first time too.
I will never get used to the idea of Dorothy and the Scarecrow having sex with each. Similarly off-putting is the idea that the Tin Man has a penis.
I cannot believe it never occurred to Dorothy to offer to take Lucas and Sylvie with her. And because of her thoughtlessness, she just gave Lucas the perfect opening to want to betray her. She brought that on herself.
I'm not liking much of this show so far. **.
Colony "Somewhere Out There"
That 1967 flashback just blew the mythology wide upon. This has been in the planning stages for a LOOOOOOONG time.
I love the moment at the end where Will tries to convince the kids to go with him. Because he realizes in that instant, they'd be crazy to. They just saw him murder a bunch of people. It doesn't matter if he ultimately was trying to protect them and his son. He's a stranger. You don't go with strangers, and you certainly don't go with strangers who are mass murderers.
I like Nolan's perspective that in the new world order, there are only so many favors you can build up, and considering how bad things are likely to get, I get Nolan's reluctance to completely cash his chits in over this. And that's what it would do. I don't see WHY he should go out on a limb for Brahm in that scenario, and Katie is a madwoman if she thinks he should.
What was up with the magic box? That was cool, but I didn't entirely get it.
I share Katie's frustration that her daughter is being propagandized over her objections, but again, Katie cashed in all her favors already to the people who have been willing to look the other way about the fact she was in the resistance. Maybe if she weren't, she could raise her daughter the way she SHOULD be raised. That's on Katie.
Peter Jacobson at the camp was a pleasant surprise. And I shared his disdain for that idiot kid. He's gonna go to the Factory over a screwdriver? Imbecile.
I love that Brahm can't take his eyes off his crush in her stage of undress, because it states something very interesting about teenagers that is true, but we pretend isn't so as not to embarrass them. They get sexually turned on at the worst moments for that to happen. And they cannot help it. It's part of why being a teenager sucks so much. Those physical reactions are almost entirely out of their control. And that was the last place it should have happened. Literally.
How does the science teacher not know not to tell them he's a science teacher? It's good he went before Brahm, because I think Brahm is dumb enough to fall into the exact same trap. But once he sees it, he comes up with the proper lie.
Calling it: I think Charlie is now a sociopath and a lost cause. If and when they get him home, he is going to cause unbelievable damage to the Bowman family due to his inability to behave himself. Will probably would have been better off to just not go back for him at all. Because since he's his dad, he is now stuck with him. And I see Charlie being a bigger potential problem than Brahm and Katie combined. He is not built for a life of following strict rules. The Bowmans are in trouble.
Good episode of a great season so far. ****1/2.
Colony "Sublimation"
That scene on the wall was horrible. What a horrific way to die. I had expected Will's old partner to become a new cast member and I was shocked they killed her off. Somebody up there likes Will Bowman.
Here's a question about Will coming home when he did: Does he have the best timing ever, or the absolute worst? A case can be made for either.
Something tells me Brahm is going to be playing both sides in the prison camp. Snyder can get him anything he wants and get him home too. But the chick who stole his boots is hot and seems to like him. It's a conundrum.
Snyder is so smart. He knows something is wrong and already has a pretty good idea of what it was. I think his demotion was ill-advised. He's good at this stuff. And like he said, he keeps his promises.
The thing with the boots tells me how much life in this world sucks. You lose your boots, you are now barefoot for the rest of you life. New boots are not coming.
It's interesting that it is Katie's liberalism which is the reason she's teaching her daughter all of those religious texts. Very interesting idea.
I love Katie trying to manipulate Jennifer into helping her by saying she has a conscience and Jennifer turns it around: "Do you?" Just based on what Jennifer knows about the horrible things Katie has done shows that that is a legit question.
The opening scene in the camp was great, especially with the friend overweight guy getting brutally shot in the head. He thinks it's a good way to get extra rations. In reality there is a VERY real risk in doing that. And I don't think he got that until the moment he was shot.
Next week looks tense. Can't wait. ****1/2.
Colony "Panopticon"
Amazing episode. First one of the series I've outright loved.
Where to begin?
How about the fact that this show does some of the best cold openings on television? The first scene is usually the best and blows the mythology wide open. It's bad enough that there is talk of wiping LA off the map. It's the fact that other humans are suggesting it and thinking it's a reasonable idea which is why this world is fudged up.
And just when you think there is no hope, Charlie's sister sleeps next to him on the floor. That was the most significant thing in the episode in that it is probably the only thing that stopped Jennifer from eventually talking. It's because of that moment she committed suicide to protect the Bowmans. Because Will is right. She is not cut out for this. The wolves were at the door, and she would have broken, leading to a trip to the Factory. I love the Factory threat. Because it means nobody is safe, even if you think you are. At first it sounds like Jennifer thinks the idea is ridiculous until it dawns on her "What have I gotten myself into?"
What I love about the episode is that while is gave Jennifer many good reasons to protect the Bowmans, it gave her some equally good ones to sell them out. They don't actually like her, think she's stupid and weak, talk smack about her behind her back, and admit that they aren't her friends and are just using her. I totally get why she was about to sell them out and how she was on the brink of changing her mind one way or the other.
I love the shower scene. You thinks it's basic cable sexytimes, but instead the other shoe drops. Do you know the messed up thing? I'm betting they still had sex then to throw off suspicion. How would that work? How could a man perform under those conditions? Granted, it's easier when it is Sarah Wayne Callies, but I would not have been able to do it, even at my peak as a teenager.
I am less concerned about the fire than Will and Katie. It is very clear Charlie considered killing the tutor because she was so damaging to the family and instead scared her off. I think the fire was Charlie using the carrot. That's how messed up he is.
I love the idea that Will may only have loved Katie past tense. Because Katie's love is present tense, and she kind of realizes for the first time exactly how much damage she did to her marriage by working against Will behind his back. And the thing is, that SHOULD be true. I'd like to think they'll work past it in the future, but if Will is unsure, or even reluctant, that is freaking normal for that scenario. Especially since Katie obviously never gained anything from her time in the Resistance. Will collaborating has helped out their family far more than Katie's anonymous crime sprees have.
What I love about Jennifer's two bosses are that both know exactly how complicit she is, and the exact nature of the complicity. They guess everything right the first time. Which just tells me both the Bowmans and the rest of the world are in for a world or hurt. I'd feel better with dumber bad guys.
Best episode of the series so far. Only season two, but truly great shows know how to rock a bottle episode. *****.
Colony "Company Man"
I usually have a lot to say about this show but this seems more like a set-up episode than anything. That being said, those two kids being shot at the labor camp was another reminder of the huge stakes, and the fact that the majority of humans in this new world order are complete scumbags.
I don't blame Katie for kicking out Lindsay. She is horrible. Although I do agree that Charlie will wind up being a liability to the family.
Expect a longer review next week. ****.
The Blacklist "Natalie Luca"
Weird actor notes:
Daniel Davis: I am 100% positive I read his obituary last year. I'm glad he's alive and all, but he is proof as to why the internet sucks.
Elizabeth Lail: Typhoid Anna. Pretty much as adorable as a killer as you could get. I am a little bit amazed Navabi allowed her to play out her ridiculous scene with her dying boyfriend. Yeah, I get they both needed closure, but Navabi don't owe either of them that. And they ARE both murderers.
I like that Navabi figures out it was Aram who adjusted his own salary for her. I think she's wearing him down. She's right to wait.
I feel like the only reason Tom and Liz are imploding is due to the spin-off. And that is never good.
I like that Red needs a moment to sit down at the end. Next week is gonna be good.
Like a fairytale. With people puking everywhere and dying of plague. ***1/2.
The Blacklist "Isabella Stone"
Is Tom's father Terry O'Quinn? If so, we'll be seeing him again.
Loved Aram accidently bringing up the cat video on the computer.
I love Red's relationship to Stratos. He's not concerned that he'll give him up, he's worried about what the authorities will do to him when he won't. And he actually breaks him out. And before Stratos dies, Red promises to make sure his children are taken care of. Red may be a criminal but he is very loyal to his friends.
Worried about Dembe. I fear he may betray Red. And I fear Red will deserve it. That bloodbath at the end means next week will be interesting. ****.
Blindspot "Devil Never Even Lived"
Started off great, wound up weak.
That was one neat and mysterious teaser there. Similarly shocking was Shepard showing up in the old guy's room.
I also liked the interrogation of Kevin. Because Jane and Weller were sincere. What happened wasn't Kevin's fault. He got entrapped into it. I like whenever cops try to understand a perp. But I love it when they actually mean it and aren't just jiving.
The worst thing about this is that it is unlike every other law enforcement show I watch because the FBI is completely incompetent. The left hand never knows what the right is doing and all of the agents make stupid mistakes that only have a downside.
Take Malcolm sampling cocaine. It's not just that if he becomes a cokehead, his career is at risk. It's that if somebody finds out he got it from Freddy's ex, they might put together what actually happened with Freddy, and that he's an accomplice to murder. It's stupid for an FBI agent to to commit a crime. It's outright idiotic to commit one with a person who could potential tie you to an accessory for murder. And that's why the agents on this show suck. It's not just Jane who is an idiot. It's all of them.
How is it somebody doesn't know what Gogurt is? I get product placement needs to exist on network television, but if you are going to namedrop a common product, please don't insult my intelligence by pretending one of the characters hasn't heard of it. Seriously badly written.
Shepard did not need to stab that guy and the fact she did is the reason she's a monster. A bullet in the back of the head would have been just as effective, only painless and he wouldn't suffer. Yet it would be less theatrical in front of Weller which shows that Shepard is a manipulate crazyperson.
The worst part about the last scene is that Shepard pretty engages in every single cliche with the exception of "No WE did it!". She's all "We're the same,", "We're on the same side and someday you'll realize that." I think Shepard is an incredibly hackneyed person for that performance. What galls me is I'm betting that was not the writer's intention. I'm betting they actually thought that was good. Which is depressing and makes me worried about the future of the Berlanti-run Arrowverse.
Negative grade. **.
Tremors 5: Bloodlines
Pretty good, I think. It's not as good as the original film, but it's miles better than the previous three sequels. It's about the same level as the likable TV series. When Burt Gummer stomps on the snake, looks into the camera, and says "Who's hungry?" you know you're in for a good Tremors movie.
There was an awful lot of urine jokes in this, including Burt Gummer bathing in and drinking his own urine, and having a lion pee on him. I didn't much like the moments of Burt in the cage, but I will confess that the moment Burt leaves a video will for Heather to take care of his finest guns, was made funny by Burt admitting the guns meant more to him than she did. As he puts it "Heather, if you're still out there... Give the HK-41 a good home. I miss it... And to some extent you."
The scene in the cage is something I really regret. I want to be able to enjoy seeing Michael Gross completely chew the scenery as Burt has a VERY real mental break-down, but the things going on in the scene are so repulsive that I can't enjoy any of it. One of Burt's funniest moments ever, is also his creepiest moment ever, which makes it off-putting and a bit hard to watch. I much preferred the scene at the end of him crazily laughing upon the cave being blown up. Travis is right. He's a psychopath. Also crazy was his "gets rid of that tastes like chicken residue" smile. He's a total nut.
I think the worst thing about the cage scene is that they set it up with Burt saying "You will never cage me." It was a totally bad@$$ thing to say, that meant a lot for the particular character and how the audience views him And they automatically buy it back as a joke. I took that particular line far more seriously than the writers were hoping I would. It doesn't help that Michael Gross sold it completely, as he always does.
There has always been a heckuva lot more gore in the franchise (including human gore) than any other PG-13 movies I can think of. I'm not complaining that they didn't tone things down, but I'm a little surprised the MPAA let them get away with the things they did, even if it was direct to video.
Travis being Burt's son wasn't entirely predictable, but it wasn't surprising either, which made the revelation a wash. Does explain the subtitle Bloodlines though.
I like that when Burt says "You cannot be my offspring!" Travis is legitimately offended. And he should be. As noted, it was a total d*ck thing to say. I get that Burt thinks he's better than Travis (and he is) but that is the 100% worst thing to verbalize in that particular moment. Even I know that.
The main and end titles were extremely low budget, which is weird, because they spent money on the graphics for the fake reality show. It says something bad when your reality show parody looks better than your actual movie.
But this movie didn't really need a huge budget, just due to the location alone. Africa has so many wonderful vistas and beautiful animals that are as eye-catching the most expensive of CGI effects. And the added bonus is that they are actually real.
The shower scene where the couple was killed started off very sexy but turned horrifying quickly. Very effective.
I like Travis stating that Burt is suffering from a mild case of heat exhaustion and a severe case of getting too old for this crap.
I loved the trick with the flaming truck and the flaming arrow. Normally we don't get good Graboid deaths not committed by Burt or Valentine, but that qualified. Good moment for the guest cast there.
What I love about the monsters in Tremors is that they can be killed. The victims in this horror franchise can actually defend themselves against them, and that fact make Tremors much more empowering than any other horror franchise I've ever seen. Burt Gummer is an unremarkable human being. He's a nutjob and kind of a loser. And the fact that he is able to own these monsters with an owning stick repeatedly is made more awesome by that fact. He's not superhuman and he doesn't need to be. That's why this franchise is special.
Something I did NOT like: Burt did not have a strong reaction to Dreyer's death. And he really should have, and I'm surprised Michael Gross didn't nix this idea himself since he has so much clout with the character. But even if it's an accident, Dreyer's death is the first human death in all five movies and the TV series that Burt is directly responsible for. This should have been a bigger and worse moment for him.
They had a few callbacks to the original movies (which is also something the previous sequels did too). We first see Travis as he is taking a whiz in the desert (told you there was a lot of pee-pee jokes), which is the same way we were introduced to Kevin Bacon in the original movie. There is also another line about National Geographic, and the South African Pilot escaped the Graboid's stomach the same way Burt did: by blasting a hole in it from the inside.
I love how the franchise always talks up National Geographic. It is the trendiest and coolest magazine in the Tremorsverse, and I like that it's Nevada's (and now Africa's) version of Vanity Fair or The New Yorker. It's the magazine to be seen in.
It's interesting they gave Burt less firepower than usual due to the gun restrictions in South Africa, but it both lessens and improves the movie at the same time. It lessens it because Burt going all out with his firepower on the worms is pretty much the franchise's biggest selling point. It improves it because it makes Burt working at diminished capacity, which makes things scarier and more dangerous.
I liked Travis making fun of the shaved head of Burt's. I also really like that Burt secretly digs hippie music, which is a bit of a shock.
"Giving it to those @$$blasters" is a bad way to put it.
I like the fact that Travis suspects Van Vyck immediately and is sort of digging into his story in the background while Burt is taking things at face value. This shows that Burt's son is probably smarter than he is.
I love the little girl on the pogo stick in the cartoon at the beginning. That was one of the scariest beats from the first movie and they just turned it adorable. I approve.
Were there any things I disliked? I hated the slo-mo motorcycle scene over the opening credits. It's not just something you'd see in a boring movie. It's something you'd see in a boring BAD movie. It was definitely not a trope the franchise was better for having tried.
Also Van Vyk having the cigar in mouth in his death scene felt ridiculous. You find yourself running for you life, one of your arms messed up, and suffering from exhaustion, you spit out the freaking cigarette / cigar. It just looks ludicrous.
I also groaned at the moment where Burt is trying to puzzle out the evolution of African Graboids, Shriekers, and @$$blasters. It's so terrible and I understand why. When Burt says "What's next, Graboids that talk?" I realized what that moment was: Pokemon. It's characters speaking nonsense gobbledygook, that supposed means something significant to the characters, but sounds absolutely ridiculous to an outside observer, unfamiliar with the franchise. And honestly? Speaking as someone who enjoys Tremors (usually)? That's kind of embarrassing, and makes this fandom sound stupider than it is. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it IS this stupid. But it also is usually able to give me enough plausible deniability to pretend differently.
This was a surprisingly scary outing. I haven't really been scared of this franchise since the original, but it definitely has its share of jolts. My impression was overall favorable. ***1/2.
Deleted & Extended Scenes:
There was a lot cut. I'm guessing the extended scene at the beginning where the dude takes the watch off the severed arm was a censor note. Burt was originally going to drop an F bomb during an deleted car chase scene (which is bleeped on the Blu-Ray) and there was a big underwater action scene cut too. I liked the scene of Travis telling Burt he isn't a militia man and never joined the service, and that Boy Scouts have a legitimately higher rank than him ("Burt walk by a Cub Scout and they go "There goes Burt"). I was offended by the bone through the nose joke in the same scene though. There are a couple of scenes where Travis is clearly trying to work up the courage to tell Burt he is his son. I'm glad those scene were cut because Burt acts like such an irredeemable @$$hole in them. Granted, that is what the character is, but it feels wrong to have him doing it while his son is working up the courage to bare his soul to him. My favorite scene is Burt's commercial for his water purification pills. I'm betting the bridge chase, and the underwater scene with the Submariner Graboid was cut because the movie didn't have the budget to finish them. It looks like it woulda been cool. ****1/2.
Outtakes:
Jamie Kennedy thinks he's funnier than he actually is. Interestingly enough, Burt's outtakes in the cage are funnier than the actual scenes in the movie. Probably because there isn't such a painful subtext behind them here. ***.
Tremors 5: Behind The Bloodlines:
Apparently Michael Gross knows the character of Burt so well he'll rewrite his own lines and give the director ten reasons Burt would never say something. And he'd be right each time. I'm betting the fact that Burt never actually points a gun at a human, even when he's holding one and the human is being a threat, was a Michael Gross note too. That's the thing Gross has always said he liked best about Burt. ***1/2.
Upcoming reviews include Doctor Who: Series 9, The X-Files: Season 10, Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), Captain America: Civil War (Blu-Ray), Daredevil: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Deadpool, X-Men: Apocalypse (Blu-Ray), The Lion Guard: Return Of The Roar (DVD), Zootopia, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), The Good Dinosaur (Blu-Ray), Finding Dory (Blu-Ray), Once Upon A Time: Season 5, The BFG, Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Blu-Ray), Star Wars Rebels: Season 2, Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales, Lego Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures: Season One, Jim Henson's Turkey Hollow (DVD), Justice League Vs. Teen Titans, Batman: The Killing Joke, Teen Titans Go!: Get In Pig Out, Suicide Squad (Blu-Ray), The Flash: Season 2, Arrow: Season 4, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow: Season 1, Supergirl: Season 1, Gotham: Season 2, iZombie: Season 1, iZombie: Season 2, Lucifer: Season 1, Be Cool Scooby Doo!: Spooky Kooky Fun!, Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Prod.: Hare-Raising Tales, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Beyond The Known Universe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Earth's Last Stand, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Half-Shell Heroes: Blast To The Past, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Powr Rangers: Megaforce: The Complete Season, Power Rangers: Super Megaforce: The Complete Season, Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Season 1, Heroes Reborn: The Complete Series, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, The Legend Of Korra: The Complete Series, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Haven: The Final Season, Under The Dome: Season 3, Quantum Leap: Season 1, Quantum Leap: Season 2, Quantum Leap: Season 3, Quantum Leap: Season 4, Quantum Leap: Season 5, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Sleepy Hollow: Season 3, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 3, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Shaun The Sheep: The Farmer's Llamas, 12 Monkeys: Season 1, 12 Monkeys: Season 2, Grimm: Season 4, Grimm: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 6, The Peanuts Movie, Peanuts By Schulz: Snoopy Tales, Bob's Burgers: Season 5, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay: Part 2, Ghostbusters: Answer: The Call, Community: Season 6, Red Dwarf XI, Hannibal: Season 1, Hannibal: Season 2, Hannibal: Season 3, Preacher: Season One, Degrassi Junior High: The Complete Series, Degrassi High: The Complete Series, Danger Mouse: The Complete Series, Game Of Thrones: Season 5, and Game of Thrones: Season 6.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Tokka vs. The World"
Raph vs. Bishop? Unfairest fight ever.
What I love about how Bishop fights the Turtles, is that it is always defensively, and he never actually even tries to strike them. And Raph still got punked.
Loved Bishop cutting loose on those EPF soldiers. I liked the last one giving up and silently asking for permission for Bishop to merely pretend he knocked him out and play possum. That was so funny. I truly think Bishop is better than the EPF deserves.
I groaned at Bishop participating in the high three, but this version of Bishop is WAY more benevolent with the Turtles than usual, so I'll let it slide.
Pretty good. ****.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Tale Of Tiger Claw"
I'm impressed what they got away with on a TV-Y7 rating.
First off, severing Tiger Claw's arm was hardcore. We didn't actually see everything, but the implication was clear.
Similarly, even though Splinter's Drunken Master routine at the beginning wasn't explicitly called that, that is obviously what is was. Similarly, the hippie dropping the beer can was the hint of another character being inebriated.
I like the idea that Mikey has better intuition than Raph. Raph may be the better fighter, but it makes sense Mikey has certain skills that he does not.
The sick slow-mo scene at the end of Casey avoiding all of those deadly things to retrieve the blade was cool.
The teaser was great. It was so great, I almost hoped we were going to get an entire episode from Tiger Claw's perspective. I would not have complained.
I laughed at Rocksteady beatboxing. He is so white.
Great week. *****.
Power Rangers Ninja Steel "Forged In Steel"
I kinda like Mick. He's like a more annoying version of Enterprise's Dr. Phlox. No, you know what? I can't even pretend that. Phlox was super annoying his own dang self.
New Rangers reciting their Morphin and Zord oaths perfectly on the first and second tries will never stop annoying me.
Is the dog Zord seriously named the Cody Zord? Seriously?
What am I doing watching this? What is my damage? **.
Power Rangers Ninja Steel "Live And Learn"
So apparently the Power Rangers can simply guess that their Zords can form a Megazord without ever having to be told that. I hate this franchise so much. 0.
Power Rangers Ninja Steel "Presto Change-O"
Is the "We need a show good enough for the Rangers!" line a meta moment?
Hearing the Ninja / Turtle joke is interesting because Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation is still considered canon with this franchise.
Let me get this straight. Preston disfigures Monty, but Brody says to leave him be because they have more pressing concerns? Does that seem right to you? Also Preston's spell at the end should have worked. Because it establishes the magic only works when he's helping somebody. Well, he was trying to: Monty. Monty saying he liked his new square body was far more forgiving than the situation called.
What is the deal with the beauty shot of the truck at the end? Is this an actual product placement for a car in a show aimed at seven year olds? Usually this show not knowing it's target audience is NOT a problem. This was. Totally.
This show is a hot mess. *1/2.
The Simpsons "Fatzcarraldo"
Oh, my lord, I freaking LOVE that hot dog cook! One of Kevin Michael Richardson's finest performances anywhere EVER. Do you know what the best thing about him is? He is easily the most visually expressive Simpsons character of all time. As eye-popping as the Simpsons and the world of Springfield look, due to Matt Groening's simple art style, none of the characters are all that expressive in the face. When that cook was singing that hot dog song with Homer, I could read the delight in his eyes, in a way I have NEVER seen a Simpsons design work before. And it's the fact that I've never seen it before which tells me it's amazing.
I love Lisa's interviews around the school. Bless her, she cares far more about the school and the town than it deserves.
The story sort of petered out at the end, but because of the cook, and a bunch of great observational jokes, I'm declaring this episode a success. ****.
Sleepy Hollow "The People v Ichabod Crane"
I liked it. And I realize how valuable Lyndie Greenwood is going to be for the season, and possibly the rest of the series. She will not be one of the focal characters. But I think she is the make-or-break character for the make-or-break retooled season of the show.
Why do I think this? Aside from being the only old cast member besides Crane, her role to the team seems to be invaluable. Did you see how well she improvised when she was caught by those army guys? True, it didn't work, but that's only because the gun fell out of the bag. Jenny is far better suited to this kind of work than anyone else on the show.
Plus, she brings people together. When she describes to Diane that the idea that such a beautiful connection that Crane and Abbie had is actually a gift, and not frightening at all, I knew at that moment Diane was going to consent. And I'm betting that's when Diane realized it too. The second the words "gift" escaped Jenny's mouth, the controversy was settled, I think.
I think her explanation that everybody's lives are intertwined was proven in the bar scene. Some people will see that as random bad writing, and Diane having an unlikely, surprise connection to the guy they had to convince because the writers were trying to build up her credibility with the audience in an unearned manner. That's not what moment meant to me. It meant that everyone's lives are SO intertwined, that God or The Universe, or whoever actually runs things, brought the only person possible who could get Jenny out of that bar alive. It's not a badly written coincidence. It's the show's demonstration of Fate. Some people may think that's the same thing. And there IS an argument for that, as these seemingly badly written coincidences seem to infect all apocalyptic prophecy fantasies. But that one of the drawbacks of the genre. If you do not subvert that trope (and most shows in the genre cannot by necessity) the next best thing is to embrace it.
What I DIDN'T like is that the show didn't outright say that was what was going on. I think it should have. It's possible the writers were so clueless that the subtext I just described was unintentional, and they weren't aware of it when they wrote. But that doesn't mean the subtext that the audience takes from that moment doesn't exist. Oftentimes fan reaction guides how show producers view things. But I wish that moment had been made a little more explicit. It almost makes a scene that is clearly destiny seem accidental.
I'd say it was nice to see Henry again, but as much as I love John Noble the actor, that statement would never be true. I liked his face in the jar at the end. That tells me that if the show isn't canceled, a sequel to the episode is coming.
Do you know what was sucked though? There were a couple of points where I thought this episode didn't work because Nicole Beharie and Katia Winter weren't here. Imagine how juicy the episode would have been had Abbie and Katrina shamed Crane on the witness stand, and both told him he blamed him for their deaths. And since it's Crane's mind that's what should have happened. It was an unpleasant reminder that this is just a TV show and cannot always get the cast members it needs to tell the story properly. I think Nicole Beharie leaving when she did pretty much destroyed the show and this episode, as otherwise good as it was, showed why. The sad thing is, I understand completely why she left, and do not blame her in the slightest. By the end of season 3, the show had gotten outright terrible. I get why she would no longer want to be embarrassed by it.
But her leaving DID destroy the show, for real, and for reasons outside of actual quality, and it most certainly will not recover. I'm tempted to grade this season on it's own curve due to this fact, but season three tells me I should NEVER give this show the benefit of the doubt. It doesn't deserve it. So if I see a bad episode, or a bad thing in an otherwise GOOD episode that is due to Beharie being absent, I am still going to point it out.
Still, I can't deny this was better than usual. ***1/2.
Sleepy Hollow "Blood From A Stone'
The good news:
The reason Dreyfuss wants immortality is a good one. Because immortality is a worthless gift in a show with an afterlife. But if you've sold your soul to the Devil, suddenly it makes sense.
The bad news:
Unfortunately this make Dreyfuss much less of a bad guy than he should be. His goal to find the Philosopher's Stone is not actual evil in and of itself. Which is kind of a problem for the show. Yeah, he doesn't care if people die while he gets it, but just the fact that his goals are NOT apocalyptic make him a MUCH less dangerous bad guy than Moloch, the Headless Horseman, Henry, Pandora, and the Hidden One. Unless Dreyfuss needs to destroy the world for some reason, Sleepy Hollow has much fewer stakes this season.
I'm glad the show give Jeremy Davies such a grody haircut in the flashback because the idea that somebody else was "The Face" is ludicrous as long as Davies remains as good looking as he still is. It's one thing for Davies to be cast as tweakers and freaks. I can buy that. But when they ask me to tell me those freaks are unattractive, my response is "I am not blind." Still, the ugly haircut helped.
The soul selling thing was unlike any I've seen so far in that Dreyfuss was practically blackmailed into it. He didn't really have all that much of a choice in that moment (he was put in immediate physical jeopardy) and signed because his balls were in a vice.
Is it just me or would Jenny have made a better Witness? She is the most useful member of the cast.
All right. Look forward to the Homecoming next week. ***.
Sleepy Hollow "Homecoming"
I think Diane is trying to feel out whether or not Crane feels betrayed by the revelation that Washington kept secrets from him because Crane did the same to her, and she wants him to know what it was like. But to be honest. there is no comparison between Washington's betrayal and Crane waiting to tell Diane everything. Crane was right to do that while Washington was very wrong.
I love that they tied the Philosopher's Stone into the mythology of the Pilot. I especially like that I was right that there weren't any world shattering consequences (yet) for Dreyfuss pursuing Immortality. The "life for a life" thing had me worried for awhile but Dreyfuss is good with loopholes.
I love Jenny saying she was surrounded by ghosts but that she loved them all. What a beautiful way to put grief.
Crane and the slushie was hilarious and I laughed that Crane seems to be a hardcore Harry Potter fan. I also liked his jukebox choice of "I Put A Spell On You."
Slightly above average episode. ***1/2.
Grimm "El Cuegle"
I had a problem with the scenario.
Okay, if I could go back in time and kill Hitler and Bin Laden when they were babies, I would. No question. I've never murdered anyone, but if I were given that chance, I would. I'd damage my own soul to protect the innocent. The scenario the episode is asking me to see shows that things are not black and white there.
Except...
El Cuegle eats the babies.
That makes him a monster. If he were both concerned about the future and a decent person, he would simply snap the baby's neck in his crib. The fact that he doesn't do that can't even be blamed on a biological need. He felt so guilty he returned a kid who later murdered 10 people. He can fight this urge. That fact that he gives into it makes him every bit the evil he is trying to prevent.
Murder is not a good thing. But in that completely fictitious setting, it's all right. Until you eat the person. Then YOU are the bad guy.
I understand why they did it. Because then there would be no kidnapping, and the episode's premise couldn't work. But just that fact that he eats the babies means the episode's premise was NEVER gonna work.
I loved Nick reiterating he would like a medal. It shows that despite the Captain's threats, he, Hank, and Wu don't fear the Captain in the slightest. He's got nuthin' on them, and there is nothing he can do about it.
Renard's conversation with Diana about how Bonaparte died was interesting. Diana seems more than a little bit of a sociopath by blaming her father for something they both know was not his doing. They both know it and they both know they both know it. Yet Diana refuses to pretend the situation was anything but Daddy protecting Mommy.
I am both a little relieved about Diana and Nick, and a little concerned. First off, she seems okay with the idea that Adalind loves Nick. That's good. It means he won't be killed anytime soon for supposedly breaking up Mommy and Daddy. Relief there. It is also good that she tells her father that she doesn't take the fact that he says Nick was behind the split at face value. Adalind knew he'd say that because Renard is a manipultive bunghole. So Diana lets him know she saw that response coming. Interestingly her father asking her if she considered Mommy was wrong, and Diana shrugging, was a good thing too. It means Diana is independent. Diana can make her own decisions. And since Renard is clearly in the wrong, and Nick and Adalind obviously love each other, she will probably see through her father's lies on her own.
But there's one thing that bothers me.
When she says Nick would regret if he ever hurt Mommy, and that she's already thought about this, Renard thinks it's because she is worried that Nick is dangerous and could become physically abusive to her. What if that isn't it at all? What if she sees the stolen glances between Juliet at Nick and worries they are going to get back together? That would absolutely destroy Adalind, and be all the push Diana needs to take on Nick. And I don't think Nick could beat Diana without killing her, and since she's Adalind's kid, that isn't an option. Even the Healing Stick might not be enough to escape this kid's wrath if he and Juliet reconcile.
I don't think he and Juliet SHOULD reconcile though. I hate Nick and Adalind, and I hate that the show asks me to accept them as a couple when they are only together because she raped Nick and destroyed his family. But I kind of go along with it (even though I shouldn't) because even if the word rape never escapes any of the character's lips, they are fully aware that is why they are together. It's why their relationship is messy, and will never be healthy. And it's the fact that they both know that which is the reason I am willing to tolerate it a little bit. I will be unhappy if Nick gets back with Juliet by the end of the series, but I'll be REALLY unhappy if he stays with Adalind too. I'd rather face Diana's wrath.
Speaking of Juliet and the Healing Stick, the show asking me to feel sympathy for Juliet upon hearing Nick say he loves Adalind is a bit ridiculous. She blew up the trailer and killed his mother. She had the high ground with Nick's deplorable treatment of her for most of the fourth season. Until she blew up the trailer. Then she's the villain. Her killing his Mom just tells me Nick should NEVER forgive her.
What was up with Juliet carving those symbols in the wall? Does she want Nick to know she was there? Because that's all that does.
I was disappointed but not surprised it's not Meisner. On the other hand, I don't think it's nothing. The Captain isn't imagining it, and whether he's a ghost or a Jedi mind trick, the Captain himself is not crazy (at least not about that). Why? Because Meisner was still there when the Captain left the room. I noticed that. Which tells me something else is going on besides survivor's guilt.
Speaking of which, I didn't like how Meisner was portrayed. He was far too snarky and happy-go-lucky for this grim (pun unintended) and laconic character. Plus I always detected a hint of a German accent when Damien Puckler previously played him, and here he's an all American fratboy butthole here. Maybe that's the point. Maybe the people making Sean see Meisner don't actually GET Meisner. But it still bugs the cr*p out of me.
I probably would have liked the episode MUCH more if the villain was NOT a cannibal. The morality there would have been a LOT more grey if he weren't. ***1/2.
Grimm "The Seven Year Itch"
I love that the super hot female goddess of desire is a very overweight woman. And you know what? She is sexy and you can believe two attractive men would fight for her. I almost resent them making her a hippo Wesen at the end, but the fact that she bit her attacker's head off was a more than fair trade-off in female empowerment messages.
I love that her reaction to Nick is to say "So you're the Grimm," and then to crack a cute flirtatious joke at him. Because it shows something the series has gotten away from since the introduction of Black Claw: Nick making inroads in the Wesen Community. She already knew he existed, and she also knows him by good reputation and that he isn't a threat to her, even when he has a gun on her. I like that Wesen talk. And people like Bud and Monroe talk up Nick.
The stuff with Renard and Meisner was interesting, although the fortuneteller booth the guy hauled out seemed a bit ridiculous. I also have no clue what is going on with Eve OR Diana. I will say this: The kid that got for Diana is good. I'm not going to say she's as good as David Masouz or Maisie Williams, but she is perfect. Again, it's hard to compare, because she never really stretches the way Bruce Wayne or Arya Stark do, so I don't know if she's capable of anything but creepy. But since the character is nothing but creepy, perhaps she doesn't need to be. She nails what the writers give her.
I don't buy the Wesen being a frontier pioneer. Because to build up that kind of reputation would take longer than a single day. The show didn't think that bit out very well.
All in all, a good week. ****.
Grimm "Breakfast In Bed"
Elephant in the room: Anyone going to comment on the fact that Nick just murdered the hotel manager for no reason? Yeah, he was violent, but Nick attacked him. He wasn't actually guilty. How on Earth are they going to explain both his death and the death of the Aelp? Sloppy.
As for Meisner what it proved to me is that it IS something. It's not in Renard's head. Whether it's a haunting or somebody else mindscrewing him doesn't matter. He wouldn't have been able to know about the men waiting by the car if he were simply imaginary. I hope this isn't the last we've seen of this as the episode hinted. We are due an explanation.
Monroe doesn't like needles! To be fair, that particular needle was daunting.
Didn't like this much. **.
Bob's Burgers "Bob Actually"
White people and hip hop are exactly that bad. And always have been. Frankly, I think Jamie Kennedy actually portrays wannabes as cooler than they actually are. This episode is wannabes. One hundred percent. I love that Linda loves the dance. She is so lame. I get a kick out of the idea that Bob knew she would like it.
I really liked the plot of Louise and Regular-Sized Rudy, because it played out differently than any Louise plot I've seen. I fully expected the revelation that Rudy bought the love-weeds for another girl to make Louise jealous, but the series is smart enough to realize that isn't really Louise's thing. She's actually concerned about Rudy's happiness and tries to bully the girl into going through with the kiss. She DOESN'T actually like or want Rudy herself. But she is his friend and she knows he doesn't deserve to be taken advantage of. Even by someone with such sweet smelling hair.
To be honest, I saw Louise kissing him coming a mile away, but I love it because even if it is ostensibly a pity kiss, she makes it magnificent. It's her first kiss too, and she puts everything she has in it for Rudy. And that's not usually what pity kisses and pity sex are like. But Louise knows Rudy deserves better than that girl, even if only for a moment, so she actually does something about it. And if Rudy tells anyone, she'll kill him.
I haven't liked Louise in a couple of seasons. They've made her stupid and unlikable for no real reason. This was a return to form for the character. ****1/2.
Son Of Zorn "The Quest For Craig"
Edie is the worst.
I love that Craig's brother is even more pathetic than he is. And I see exactly why his wife prefers Craig. Big time.
Alan's disaster on the football field proves something: strength does not equal precision or skill. It makes no sense for the coach to expect him to kick a field goal when he has never even practiced doing it before.
I would somehow like this show even more if it were centered around Craig. ****.
Family Guy "Peter's Def Jam"
Very smart to get Marlee Matlin's perspective in this.
Biggest laugh was Dr. Hartman walking off laughing saying "Enjoy your life."
Alex Borstein is VERY good at playing sick. It actually sounds like she's near-death and licked a hundred doorknobs.
Byrd-Watching: Good.
Tom Sizemore's Game of Life is played exactly the way you'd expect it to be played. But perhaps the pieces should be moving backwards.
And yes, Chelsea Handler is exactly that gross. I do not get her appeal. At all.
Funny episode. ***1/2.
Emerald City "Everybody Lies"
Back on track.
Ozma is playing a very dangerous game, but in her defense, it's working because West is so thick. You should NOT be able to so brazenly lie to a chick who can mindread, but since West is stupid, it's a risk that can pay off. And that was SOME brazen lie.
I love that Dorothy escapes the same way Andy Dufreunse does in Shawshank. Through the poophole.
Speaking of Dorothy, we finally got the "Good witch or a bad witch" line from West. And I admire this Dorothy for refusing to answer it, and this West for saying there is no wrong answer. Because that is something that should be true.
In the real world, everyone thinks they are good. Donald Trump's entire shtick is that while he is the most evil person currently alive, he also thinks he's the best. And every single bad person thinks that. We are all the heroes of our own stories. And people who think they are actually bad, probably aren't deep down. But actual bad people think They Have Their Reasons. So that always rankled me about the question, as did the fact that the West of the movie and book self-identifies as Wicked. That's exactly as dumb as The Brotherhood Of Evil. Except Marvel rightly got cr*p thrown at it for how cheesy and dumb that was, (so much so they wound up shortening it to just The Brotherhood) while Oz is considered a classic book and movie, and nobody has a problem with it.
But let's stipulate that the earlier versions of Oz had evil people self-aware enough to identify themselves as such. What really bothers me about the question is that Glinda thinks Dorothy has to answer it.
Dorothy's protestation "I'm not a witch!" is the wrong answer. The right answer is "Why do I have to be one or the other?" Is there no such thing as a medium witch? A neutral witch? The good or bad question is asking a young girl to immediately pick a side in a war she knows nothing about. Something where people are going to wind up dead. The fact that Dorothy chooses correctly immediately is due more to luck and wording than actual virtue. And that bugs the cr*p out of me too.
Dorothy should have immediately known that wasn't her mother. Her answers were SO vague they were clearly given by someone who knew no more than the Witch did. Dorothy only fell for that trick because she wanted to.
Speaking of falling for tricks, here something interesting: the Dorothy on this series IS a murderer on some level. Maybe not a murderer. But a manslaughterer. You could argue self-defense and extenuating circumstances and you'd be right. But she DID deliberately trick East into killing herself. If those extenuating circumstances did not exist, Dorothy would be guilty of murder. As of now, she deliberate caused a homicide and West is both right to be p*ssed, and to say that Dorothy is lying to her. Because she is. She killed East and refuses to take responsibility for it. Which hints to me that Lucas is a better person than her simply because he refuses to make the same mistake.
I thought a rock montage was the most inappropriate thing for this show ever, until it is surprisingly revealed the Wizard likes and is listening to Pink Floyd. We definitely saw music in Oz for the first time. My theory that it did not exist until people from our world shared it was incorrect.
When Ev say Jack is her friend, it can read one of two ways: either she is completely innocent, or a total sociopath. In the favor of her being a sociopath is her telling the Wizard that her greatest desire is to see him and Emerald City drown once the Beast Forever gets done with it. In favor of the idea that she is innocent is her unexpected kiss with Jack. But as Jack noted, friends don't do that to each other. And Jack knows this better than anyone in Oz.
The "Do that to each other" line is interesting because it is clear that Jack sees a kiss as a violation, at least when it comes from him. Ozma may be completely messed up by her sexuality, but she completely damaged Jack sexually too by pushing him off a building for doing that. Now any sexual overture is seen by Jack as something bad someone does to someone else, instead of something good two people share together. This might be why the Tin Man's heart is mess.
Speaking of the Tin Man, I am a bit amused and exasperated Jack didn't think to use his tin appendages in the fight quicker than he did, and that the idea was an accident. Jack is only weak in that scenario because he believes he is and doesn't know any better. I get living the way Jack now has to is an adjustment, but you'd think he'd have spent some of those nights in the lab thinking about what the new limbs could accomplish, instead of only what they took away.
Here's a creeper question: Does the Tin Man still have a penis? Does he even WANT a relationship with Ev or is he simply confused? TBD...
I am going to ask a tough question. It's a question that is nonsense in real-world applications, and if you asked this about regular people, you'd be a monster. But the Beast Forever supposedly wants to destroy Oz. And all signs are either Dorothy being the Beast Forever, or the Beast Forever being a combo of her and her friends. Here's the horrible question: Is the Beast Forever wrong for doing that?
It's horrible, and it's genocide, and it's something we could not ask of real people, even if aliens came upon Donald Trump's America and thought we weren't worthy to survive. But this is a fictitious situation. It is not real. God commits genocide routinely in the Bible, and it's possible the Beast Forever might be God causing the Great Flood and only deeming the worthy to survive.
Why do I think that? Let's just say if a meteor came and wiped Westeros off the face of the map, I would think it had it coming on some level. That place was non-stop suck, and literally everyone there does nothing but hurt, rape, molest, and kill each other. Even supposedly good people like the Starks don't seem to actually love each other, and seem to only tolerate each other because they were forced into arranged marriages. God starts a Great Flood in Game of Thrones, and his actions make more sense there than they do in the actual freaking Bible!
Despite the fact that Oz is a TV-14 level of suck instead of a TV-MA level of suck, it isn't all that much better. Oz is still a pit, and I have yet to meet or have seen a single happy person there. Maybe the Beast Forever knocking over the house of cards and starting over is NOT the bad thing people are making it out to be. And that's only true in fiction. But I'm starting to think that it may be true here.
Is the Wizard Dorothy's father? How does he know her mother? I look forward to finding out, now that I know that the first two good episodes weren't a fluke, and the show is occasionally gonna be good. ****1/2.
Emerlad City "Beautiful Wickedness"
I hate the Wizard so much. Of course his disdain of magic is due to sexual inadequacy. That's the subtext rapidly becoming text. Poor Anna. She deserved better. She did nothing but help Frank out and he kills her because he is stupid. Idiot.
I have to say if Dorothy is going off to try and make peace with Glinda, the Wizard is working against her. What's especially bad about that is that Dorothy's plan is an amazing one and would have probably worked. As of now, the Wizard is causing his own troubles.
Even if the Wizard is a scumbag (and he is) this show is different from Game of Thrones in a very significant way. None of the characters, not even the bad guys, are malicious. All of the conflict is due to accidents or misunderstandings. If the entire cast sat in the same room and talked things out we could have a series finale in 1 episode. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.
Ozma's declaration of love to Jack was an example of "Too late". I was wondering how she thought he'd actually respond to that. It was quite galling.
Good one week, bad the next. Baddish week. **1/2.
Emerald City "They Came First"
Vincent D'Onffrio plays the Wizard entirely different by this episode. Once he shot Anna at the end of the last episode, the Wizard is entirely sinister and there is no wondering about his motivations. He is a bad guy.
Interestingly, the Wicked Witch of the West may be a good guy. Good to hear the name Ozma for the first time too.
I will never get used to the idea of Dorothy and the Scarecrow having sex with each. Similarly off-putting is the idea that the Tin Man has a penis.
I cannot believe it never occurred to Dorothy to offer to take Lucas and Sylvie with her. And because of her thoughtlessness, she just gave Lucas the perfect opening to want to betray her. She brought that on herself.
I'm not liking much of this show so far. **.
Colony "Somewhere Out There"
That 1967 flashback just blew the mythology wide upon. This has been in the planning stages for a LOOOOOOONG time.
I love the moment at the end where Will tries to convince the kids to go with him. Because he realizes in that instant, they'd be crazy to. They just saw him murder a bunch of people. It doesn't matter if he ultimately was trying to protect them and his son. He's a stranger. You don't go with strangers, and you certainly don't go with strangers who are mass murderers.
I like Nolan's perspective that in the new world order, there are only so many favors you can build up, and considering how bad things are likely to get, I get Nolan's reluctance to completely cash his chits in over this. And that's what it would do. I don't see WHY he should go out on a limb for Brahm in that scenario, and Katie is a madwoman if she thinks he should.
What was up with the magic box? That was cool, but I didn't entirely get it.
I share Katie's frustration that her daughter is being propagandized over her objections, but again, Katie cashed in all her favors already to the people who have been willing to look the other way about the fact she was in the resistance. Maybe if she weren't, she could raise her daughter the way she SHOULD be raised. That's on Katie.
Peter Jacobson at the camp was a pleasant surprise. And I shared his disdain for that idiot kid. He's gonna go to the Factory over a screwdriver? Imbecile.
I love that Brahm can't take his eyes off his crush in her stage of undress, because it states something very interesting about teenagers that is true, but we pretend isn't so as not to embarrass them. They get sexually turned on at the worst moments for that to happen. And they cannot help it. It's part of why being a teenager sucks so much. Those physical reactions are almost entirely out of their control. And that was the last place it should have happened. Literally.
How does the science teacher not know not to tell them he's a science teacher? It's good he went before Brahm, because I think Brahm is dumb enough to fall into the exact same trap. But once he sees it, he comes up with the proper lie.
Calling it: I think Charlie is now a sociopath and a lost cause. If and when they get him home, he is going to cause unbelievable damage to the Bowman family due to his inability to behave himself. Will probably would have been better off to just not go back for him at all. Because since he's his dad, he is now stuck with him. And I see Charlie being a bigger potential problem than Brahm and Katie combined. He is not built for a life of following strict rules. The Bowmans are in trouble.
Good episode of a great season so far. ****1/2.
Colony "Sublimation"
That scene on the wall was horrible. What a horrific way to die. I had expected Will's old partner to become a new cast member and I was shocked they killed her off. Somebody up there likes Will Bowman.
Here's a question about Will coming home when he did: Does he have the best timing ever, or the absolute worst? A case can be made for either.
Something tells me Brahm is going to be playing both sides in the prison camp. Snyder can get him anything he wants and get him home too. But the chick who stole his boots is hot and seems to like him. It's a conundrum.
Snyder is so smart. He knows something is wrong and already has a pretty good idea of what it was. I think his demotion was ill-advised. He's good at this stuff. And like he said, he keeps his promises.
The thing with the boots tells me how much life in this world sucks. You lose your boots, you are now barefoot for the rest of you life. New boots are not coming.
It's interesting that it is Katie's liberalism which is the reason she's teaching her daughter all of those religious texts. Very interesting idea.
I love Katie trying to manipulate Jennifer into helping her by saying she has a conscience and Jennifer turns it around: "Do you?" Just based on what Jennifer knows about the horrible things Katie has done shows that that is a legit question.
The opening scene in the camp was great, especially with the friend overweight guy getting brutally shot in the head. He thinks it's a good way to get extra rations. In reality there is a VERY real risk in doing that. And I don't think he got that until the moment he was shot.
Next week looks tense. Can't wait. ****1/2.
Colony "Panopticon"
Amazing episode. First one of the series I've outright loved.
Where to begin?
How about the fact that this show does some of the best cold openings on television? The first scene is usually the best and blows the mythology wide open. It's bad enough that there is talk of wiping LA off the map. It's the fact that other humans are suggesting it and thinking it's a reasonable idea which is why this world is fudged up.
And just when you think there is no hope, Charlie's sister sleeps next to him on the floor. That was the most significant thing in the episode in that it is probably the only thing that stopped Jennifer from eventually talking. It's because of that moment she committed suicide to protect the Bowmans. Because Will is right. She is not cut out for this. The wolves were at the door, and she would have broken, leading to a trip to the Factory. I love the Factory threat. Because it means nobody is safe, even if you think you are. At first it sounds like Jennifer thinks the idea is ridiculous until it dawns on her "What have I gotten myself into?"
What I love about the episode is that while is gave Jennifer many good reasons to protect the Bowmans, it gave her some equally good ones to sell them out. They don't actually like her, think she's stupid and weak, talk smack about her behind her back, and admit that they aren't her friends and are just using her. I totally get why she was about to sell them out and how she was on the brink of changing her mind one way or the other.
I love the shower scene. You thinks it's basic cable sexytimes, but instead the other shoe drops. Do you know the messed up thing? I'm betting they still had sex then to throw off suspicion. How would that work? How could a man perform under those conditions? Granted, it's easier when it is Sarah Wayne Callies, but I would not have been able to do it, even at my peak as a teenager.
I am less concerned about the fire than Will and Katie. It is very clear Charlie considered killing the tutor because she was so damaging to the family and instead scared her off. I think the fire was Charlie using the carrot. That's how messed up he is.
I love the idea that Will may only have loved Katie past tense. Because Katie's love is present tense, and she kind of realizes for the first time exactly how much damage she did to her marriage by working against Will behind his back. And the thing is, that SHOULD be true. I'd like to think they'll work past it in the future, but if Will is unsure, or even reluctant, that is freaking normal for that scenario. Especially since Katie obviously never gained anything from her time in the Resistance. Will collaborating has helped out their family far more than Katie's anonymous crime sprees have.
What I love about Jennifer's two bosses are that both know exactly how complicit she is, and the exact nature of the complicity. They guess everything right the first time. Which just tells me both the Bowmans and the rest of the world are in for a world or hurt. I'd feel better with dumber bad guys.
Best episode of the series so far. Only season two, but truly great shows know how to rock a bottle episode. *****.
Colony "Company Man"
I usually have a lot to say about this show but this seems more like a set-up episode than anything. That being said, those two kids being shot at the labor camp was another reminder of the huge stakes, and the fact that the majority of humans in this new world order are complete scumbags.
I don't blame Katie for kicking out Lindsay. She is horrible. Although I do agree that Charlie will wind up being a liability to the family.
Expect a longer review next week. ****.
The Blacklist "Natalie Luca"
Weird actor notes:
Daniel Davis: I am 100% positive I read his obituary last year. I'm glad he's alive and all, but he is proof as to why the internet sucks.
Elizabeth Lail: Typhoid Anna. Pretty much as adorable as a killer as you could get. I am a little bit amazed Navabi allowed her to play out her ridiculous scene with her dying boyfriend. Yeah, I get they both needed closure, but Navabi don't owe either of them that. And they ARE both murderers.
I like that Navabi figures out it was Aram who adjusted his own salary for her. I think she's wearing him down. She's right to wait.
I feel like the only reason Tom and Liz are imploding is due to the spin-off. And that is never good.
I like that Red needs a moment to sit down at the end. Next week is gonna be good.
Like a fairytale. With people puking everywhere and dying of plague. ***1/2.
The Blacklist "Isabella Stone"
Is Tom's father Terry O'Quinn? If so, we'll be seeing him again.
Loved Aram accidently bringing up the cat video on the computer.
I love Red's relationship to Stratos. He's not concerned that he'll give him up, he's worried about what the authorities will do to him when he won't. And he actually breaks him out. And before Stratos dies, Red promises to make sure his children are taken care of. Red may be a criminal but he is very loyal to his friends.
Worried about Dembe. I fear he may betray Red. And I fear Red will deserve it. That bloodbath at the end means next week will be interesting. ****.
Blindspot "Devil Never Even Lived"
Started off great, wound up weak.
That was one neat and mysterious teaser there. Similarly shocking was Shepard showing up in the old guy's room.
I also liked the interrogation of Kevin. Because Jane and Weller were sincere. What happened wasn't Kevin's fault. He got entrapped into it. I like whenever cops try to understand a perp. But I love it when they actually mean it and aren't just jiving.
The worst thing about this is that it is unlike every other law enforcement show I watch because the FBI is completely incompetent. The left hand never knows what the right is doing and all of the agents make stupid mistakes that only have a downside.
Take Malcolm sampling cocaine. It's not just that if he becomes a cokehead, his career is at risk. It's that if somebody finds out he got it from Freddy's ex, they might put together what actually happened with Freddy, and that he's an accomplice to murder. It's stupid for an FBI agent to to commit a crime. It's outright idiotic to commit one with a person who could potential tie you to an accessory for murder. And that's why the agents on this show suck. It's not just Jane who is an idiot. It's all of them.
How is it somebody doesn't know what Gogurt is? I get product placement needs to exist on network television, but if you are going to namedrop a common product, please don't insult my intelligence by pretending one of the characters hasn't heard of it. Seriously badly written.
Shepard did not need to stab that guy and the fact she did is the reason she's a monster. A bullet in the back of the head would have been just as effective, only painless and he wouldn't suffer. Yet it would be less theatrical in front of Weller which shows that Shepard is a manipulate crazyperson.
The worst part about the last scene is that Shepard pretty engages in every single cliche with the exception of "No WE did it!". She's all "We're the same,", "We're on the same side and someday you'll realize that." I think Shepard is an incredibly hackneyed person for that performance. What galls me is I'm betting that was not the writer's intention. I'm betting they actually thought that was good. Which is depressing and makes me worried about the future of the Berlanti-run Arrowverse.
Negative grade. **.
Tremors 5: Bloodlines
Pretty good, I think. It's not as good as the original film, but it's miles better than the previous three sequels. It's about the same level as the likable TV series. When Burt Gummer stomps on the snake, looks into the camera, and says "Who's hungry?" you know you're in for a good Tremors movie.
There was an awful lot of urine jokes in this, including Burt Gummer bathing in and drinking his own urine, and having a lion pee on him. I didn't much like the moments of Burt in the cage, but I will confess that the moment Burt leaves a video will for Heather to take care of his finest guns, was made funny by Burt admitting the guns meant more to him than she did. As he puts it "Heather, if you're still out there... Give the HK-41 a good home. I miss it... And to some extent you."
The scene in the cage is something I really regret. I want to be able to enjoy seeing Michael Gross completely chew the scenery as Burt has a VERY real mental break-down, but the things going on in the scene are so repulsive that I can't enjoy any of it. One of Burt's funniest moments ever, is also his creepiest moment ever, which makes it off-putting and a bit hard to watch. I much preferred the scene at the end of him crazily laughing upon the cave being blown up. Travis is right. He's a psychopath. Also crazy was his "gets rid of that tastes like chicken residue" smile. He's a total nut.
I think the worst thing about the cage scene is that they set it up with Burt saying "You will never cage me." It was a totally bad@$$ thing to say, that meant a lot for the particular character and how the audience views him And they automatically buy it back as a joke. I took that particular line far more seriously than the writers were hoping I would. It doesn't help that Michael Gross sold it completely, as he always does.
There has always been a heckuva lot more gore in the franchise (including human gore) than any other PG-13 movies I can think of. I'm not complaining that they didn't tone things down, but I'm a little surprised the MPAA let them get away with the things they did, even if it was direct to video.
Travis being Burt's son wasn't entirely predictable, but it wasn't surprising either, which made the revelation a wash. Does explain the subtitle Bloodlines though.
I like that when Burt says "You cannot be my offspring!" Travis is legitimately offended. And he should be. As noted, it was a total d*ck thing to say. I get that Burt thinks he's better than Travis (and he is) but that is the 100% worst thing to verbalize in that particular moment. Even I know that.
The main and end titles were extremely low budget, which is weird, because they spent money on the graphics for the fake reality show. It says something bad when your reality show parody looks better than your actual movie.
But this movie didn't really need a huge budget, just due to the location alone. Africa has so many wonderful vistas and beautiful animals that are as eye-catching the most expensive of CGI effects. And the added bonus is that they are actually real.
The shower scene where the couple was killed started off very sexy but turned horrifying quickly. Very effective.
I like Travis stating that Burt is suffering from a mild case of heat exhaustion and a severe case of getting too old for this crap.
I loved the trick with the flaming truck and the flaming arrow. Normally we don't get good Graboid deaths not committed by Burt or Valentine, but that qualified. Good moment for the guest cast there.
What I love about the monsters in Tremors is that they can be killed. The victims in this horror franchise can actually defend themselves against them, and that fact make Tremors much more empowering than any other horror franchise I've ever seen. Burt Gummer is an unremarkable human being. He's a nutjob and kind of a loser. And the fact that he is able to own these monsters with an owning stick repeatedly is made more awesome by that fact. He's not superhuman and he doesn't need to be. That's why this franchise is special.
Something I did NOT like: Burt did not have a strong reaction to Dreyer's death. And he really should have, and I'm surprised Michael Gross didn't nix this idea himself since he has so much clout with the character. But even if it's an accident, Dreyer's death is the first human death in all five movies and the TV series that Burt is directly responsible for. This should have been a bigger and worse moment for him.
They had a few callbacks to the original movies (which is also something the previous sequels did too). We first see Travis as he is taking a whiz in the desert (told you there was a lot of pee-pee jokes), which is the same way we were introduced to Kevin Bacon in the original movie. There is also another line about National Geographic, and the South African Pilot escaped the Graboid's stomach the same way Burt did: by blasting a hole in it from the inside.
I love how the franchise always talks up National Geographic. It is the trendiest and coolest magazine in the Tremorsverse, and I like that it's Nevada's (and now Africa's) version of Vanity Fair or The New Yorker. It's the magazine to be seen in.
It's interesting they gave Burt less firepower than usual due to the gun restrictions in South Africa, but it both lessens and improves the movie at the same time. It lessens it because Burt going all out with his firepower on the worms is pretty much the franchise's biggest selling point. It improves it because it makes Burt working at diminished capacity, which makes things scarier and more dangerous.
I liked Travis making fun of the shaved head of Burt's. I also really like that Burt secretly digs hippie music, which is a bit of a shock.
"Giving it to those @$$blasters" is a bad way to put it.
I like the fact that Travis suspects Van Vyck immediately and is sort of digging into his story in the background while Burt is taking things at face value. This shows that Burt's son is probably smarter than he is.
I love the little girl on the pogo stick in the cartoon at the beginning. That was one of the scariest beats from the first movie and they just turned it adorable. I approve.
Were there any things I disliked? I hated the slo-mo motorcycle scene over the opening credits. It's not just something you'd see in a boring movie. It's something you'd see in a boring BAD movie. It was definitely not a trope the franchise was better for having tried.
Also Van Vyk having the cigar in mouth in his death scene felt ridiculous. You find yourself running for you life, one of your arms messed up, and suffering from exhaustion, you spit out the freaking cigarette / cigar. It just looks ludicrous.
I also groaned at the moment where Burt is trying to puzzle out the evolution of African Graboids, Shriekers, and @$$blasters. It's so terrible and I understand why. When Burt says "What's next, Graboids that talk?" I realized what that moment was: Pokemon. It's characters speaking nonsense gobbledygook, that supposed means something significant to the characters, but sounds absolutely ridiculous to an outside observer, unfamiliar with the franchise. And honestly? Speaking as someone who enjoys Tremors (usually)? That's kind of embarrassing, and makes this fandom sound stupider than it is. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it IS this stupid. But it also is usually able to give me enough plausible deniability to pretend differently.
This was a surprisingly scary outing. I haven't really been scared of this franchise since the original, but it definitely has its share of jolts. My impression was overall favorable. ***1/2.
Deleted & Extended Scenes:
There was a lot cut. I'm guessing the extended scene at the beginning where the dude takes the watch off the severed arm was a censor note. Burt was originally going to drop an F bomb during an deleted car chase scene (which is bleeped on the Blu-Ray) and there was a big underwater action scene cut too. I liked the scene of Travis telling Burt he isn't a militia man and never joined the service, and that Boy Scouts have a legitimately higher rank than him ("Burt walk by a Cub Scout and they go "There goes Burt"). I was offended by the bone through the nose joke in the same scene though. There are a couple of scenes where Travis is clearly trying to work up the courage to tell Burt he is his son. I'm glad those scene were cut because Burt acts like such an irredeemable @$$hole in them. Granted, that is what the character is, but it feels wrong to have him doing it while his son is working up the courage to bare his soul to him. My favorite scene is Burt's commercial for his water purification pills. I'm betting the bridge chase, and the underwater scene with the Submariner Graboid was cut because the movie didn't have the budget to finish them. It looks like it woulda been cool. ****1/2.
Outtakes:
Jamie Kennedy thinks he's funnier than he actually is. Interestingly enough, Burt's outtakes in the cage are funnier than the actual scenes in the movie. Probably because there isn't such a painful subtext behind them here. ***.
Tremors 5: Behind The Bloodlines:
Apparently Michael Gross knows the character of Burt so well he'll rewrite his own lines and give the director ten reasons Burt would never say something. And he'd be right each time. I'm betting the fact that Burt never actually points a gun at a human, even when he's holding one and the human is being a threat, was a Michael Gross note too. That's the thing Gross has always said he liked best about Burt. ***1/2.
