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matt_zimmerAlso reviews for the latest episodes of LEGO Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures, The Lion Guard, Elena Of Avalor, Girl Meets World, and Scream and the season finale of Angie Tribeca.
Star Trek Beyond
Even numbered quality, odd numbered movie. Trekkies will know what I mean.
I think the thing I love best was McCoy basically giving Spock the business about him and Uhura breaking up. Because on the surface it sounds like Bones is the d*ck of the year for rubbing his friend's face in the fact that his serious relationship just ended. And Spock had been with Uhura over three years (at least)! What is WRONG with Bones?!
I love that moment because Bones' behavior doesn't suggest there is something wrong with Bones. It suggests to me there is something wrong with Spock and Uhura. The fact that Bones doesn't take this seriously says to me that Spock and Uhura are one of THOSE couples. You know, the kind who break up with each other and get back together every two weeks. Get into screaming matches at their friends' wedding receptions, and you walk in on them having sex in the coat room 20 minutes later. I laugh thinking about Spock and Uhura as Ross and Rachel. But that is the only explanation to Bones' behavior other than the fact that he is possibly the world's biggest douchecanoe. But no, just the fact that they DO get back together at the end of the film says that Bones is right to find their relationship drama ridiculous. And I love that Spock is one of THOSE guys. I never would have predicted that and it's hilarious.
I was very moved that Spock Prime brought a picture of the original Enterprise crew with him on his voyage to this universe. The look of wonder on our Spock's face as he saw aged versions of his friends was a super cool concept. I'm glad Spock Prime got his due in this movie. I hope Chekov is given the same consideration in Star Trek 4.
The whole Sulu being gay thing was a big bucket of nothing. He doesn't even introduce his partner or even say that's who he is. He doesn't even get any lines. As far as an audience member who isn't aware of the Takei drama is concerned, he may as well be Sulu's brother. I wonder if this was changed at the last minute for Takei. Because I cannot imagine them publicly stating that about the character unless they filmed an actual scene confirming it and simply changed their mind at the last minute.
Xindi shout-out! You want Star Trek: Enterprise to just go away, and the franchise refuses to let it!
Loved the reference to the giant green hand. All of the TOS players seem to be the same, it's just possible that the Enterprise is getting around to meeting them in the wrong order.
Idris Elba was wasted as Krall. I mean, what's the point? Idris Elba is probably the hottest male actor alive, and they cover up his face entirely in ugly alien (?) make-up. He should have been cast as a human admiral so I could look at his fineness, and keep having to remind myself I'm not actually gay.
I really dig the design of Jaylah. We haven't getting a really striking looking Trek alien in awhile, and her black and white design is probably the best alien make-up since the Jem'Hadar.
Loved the joke at the beginning of the fierce warrior race turning out to be the size of small dogs. You can get a joke like that in a Star Trek novel, but the Kelvin Timeline is the first group of Trek movies that actually have the budget and CGI expertise to actually pull that gag off. You literally could not have done that ten years ago on a Trek budget. Never.
The movie seems to have a very interesting idea about what constitutes classical music. Hmmm...
This is not the best Star Trek movie. Wrath Of Khan, Voyage Home, and First Contact are all far superior. But this is easily the best Kelvin Timeline one. Definitely. ****1/2.
LEGO Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures "The Maker Of Zoh"
I like that Jeks seems to be used for all of the LEGO Star Wars projects because he uses the Force in an interesting way: to build stuff. In a LEGO universe, that is a very useful skill. Not bad. ***1/2.
The Lion Guard "The Trouble With Galagos"
You know what? This was straight-up terrible. Alarmingly so. The fact that the writers, directors, and producers thought something this badly written and plotted would be acceptable under any circumstance, even as a preschool show, is disturbing. Disney has stopped trying, and if The Lion Guard thinks this is an okay thing to connect the film to, the franchise is now hopeless. Seriously. The movie was NEVER this dumb, and obvious. Granted, it wasn't geared towards preschoolers, but that fact just makes me wonder again why this show ever was in the first place.
And The Lion Guard exposes a problem in The Lion King that cannot be addressed by the Guard and truly disturbs me: The lions get to decide who does and doesn't get eaten. That's pretty much the definition of a fascist dictatorship, is it not? And yet the show treats the idea of the Guard eating animals they can purposefully converse with as totally okay if they decide it is. Why should the Galagos go to the Guard for help? And why should the Guard actually even WANT to help them? What is different about a leopard eating those things than a lion eating gazelle?
The interesting thing about the movie is that it had the same moral, but it kind of was asking the audience around the edges of it to not take it literally. It was subversively saying with "The zebra bones feed the grass" line that Mufasa had no actual idea about ecology, and that's just how he justifies his place on the food chain to lesser animals, and that he was pulling it out of his butt. The fact that Simba looks upon this explanation in wonder is I think supposed to disturb the audience on some level. THIS show actually seems to be trying to say that Circle of Life idea is legit. When it is plain crazy when every animal is sentient.
And what is the moral of the story? Kids should learn how to threaten better? If the show IS truly going to aim itself at preschoolers, maybe it should teach children how to be more loving and kind. The episode said it was getting the Leopard to stand up for himself. But does anyone really think a toddler needs to be taught that? Toddlers are incredibly self-focused, so you'd figure the lesson for the pre-school show would be that they should be LESS confrontational to unfriendly people, not more. A good kiddie show moral should not be "the meaner bully always wins."
And finally, Jack MacBrayer. I cannot tell if he is slumming, or this is simply his career trajectory post 30 Rock. I think this is the latter. I sadly do NOT think this show is too good for him at this point. And that is seriously depressing.
This show has major problems. 0.
Elena Of Avalor "Island Of Youth"
I loved that! Who knew?
What this exciting and tense episode tells me is that this show needs to lose the Disney Channel teenage drama episodes, and focus strictly on the adventures. It is not an accident Isabella's plot with the musical instrument was the only terrible thing about the episode.
Guitardian sounds vaguely offensive. It's sort of like Stan Smith from American Dad! naming his teddy bears "Celebeartions" without realizing that sounds like both celebration and abortions. They REALLY should have either found a different name, or combined different instruments.
I love that the magic map works like a mobile device! That's clever! I hope all future Disney Princess projects do modern stuff like that within the framework of "A long time ago".
As for Estabon, I think the series has changed its mind about turning him into the villain. They're not gonna do that. He's not Hans. He's the series' antagonist usually, but he's not a bad guy. Him choosing to save Elena over the Fountain of Youth water proves it.
I hope the show does more episodes like this. Technically because of the Isabella stuff the episode wasn't perfect. But I grade on a curve, so five stars. *****.
Girl Meets World "Girl Meets I Do"
Do you know what I love about this show? In fact, it might be one of the few things I actually DO outright love about it. I love that this show actually explores relationships between the adult characters. I do not watch any other Have A Laugh kidcoms, but I would be very surprised if Girl Meets World isn't singularly unique in this regard. And they can get away with it because the adult characters used to be the kid characters on the old show, so it's fine to show us the progression (or in the case of male-on-male pillowfights, the lack thereof).
I love Feeny as the Minister because they made a joke that you shouldn't think too hard about it. That was entirely Feeny on the original series for how they kept finding ways to use him past the first season.
I love Cory trying to selflessly give Shawn permission to love Katie more than him, but Shawn's already there. Cory's probably been demoted to number three. Cory thinks he's departing a harsh life lesson by telling Shawn he likes Topanga more than him, but Shawn already is aware of how obvious that is. As amazing as Cory seems to the kids, the truth is he is far less amazing than he thinks he is.
The scene with Maya talking to Riley who refused to wake up was good and bad. Good, because I think most shows would have had Riley faking being asleep, but frankly, she's a teenage girl. I do not think less of her for her simply not being able to wake up when her friend needed her. It was bad because the scene of Maya wearing Riley like a coat made me cringe. They are far too old in my mind to be that physically intimate with each other. I get little kids having no boundaries with personal space. I think teenagers should probably have some.
I like that the show is basically saying that Maya is trying to make the whole situation about her, but Shawn simply lets her. Why not? He's happy and she's miserable. Why not fix that? He's an adult. And I especially love that he refuses to promise this "will work". Because Shawn HAS been in Maya's shoes before, and he knows those words are complete b.s. and meaningless. He CAN'T promise that. They are also a completely unrealistic expectation for him, so maybe it's better he outright clarifies that then and there.
I have to say Rider Strong has developed into a decent actor. When he seriously, and I mean SERIOUSLY, tells Maya that "I love you" are not words he uses often (if at all), I realized it's almost a shame this guy never had a bigger career. He's quite convincing as a romantic lead. The beard still bugs me though.
This show doesn't usually work. Once in awhile it does. This was one of those weeks. *****.
Scream "Heavenly Creature"
This show does too many dream sequences and it is all the worse for it. On a normal show, that opening sequence would have been terrifying and riveting. Here, I was busy thinking there was like a 70% chance it wasn't even real. That is a crazy storytelling decision on a horror franchise with no supernatural elements. If I cannot believe what I am seeing, that means I will not be scared when I should be. I'm a bit amazed the writers of a TV series set in the horror genre didn't see this problem coming with all of the fake-outs they do. It was inevitable I would not be scared at a moment I was supposed to be during that.
I know hindsight is 20/20 and I'm basically Monday morning quarterbacking a frightened teenage girl, but if that had be me? I would have thrown the pitchfork across the room when I heard the siren. And even if the cops opened up the barn faster than was believable, Emma still had a few seconds to do that. Crazy she didn't.
And they are fingered for the Mayor's murder for the same reason Henry Allen was his wife on The Flash: They tried to save his life. Bummer.
Personally, I do NOT think Emma and Audrey are going to be considered guilty for very long. Why? Because they have answers for everything. Even Audrey can properly justify most of the stuff she did. Discovering Jake's body and keeping it a secret makes her a scumbag, not a criminal. And there is no actual evidence against Emma at all.
Revised my killer theory. It's 50/50 not Stavos. I truly believe this kid is simply amazingly stupid with poor judgment. If I am right, he'll be lucky to survive the season. Still, the hint that there is a second killer is worrying. Because he is the second most likely suspect and he'll probably be one of them if it's true.
I think it's Eli and I think the series is going to take the opposite tack they did last year and make the most obvious suspect the guilty one. The preview hinted there might be a second killer amidst the group of friends, but that might be a "promo theory" rather than an actual fact. But if there ARE two killers again, I'm betting money Eli is one of them.
Why? Unlike Emma and Audrey, there is no acceptable excuse or answer Eli could give about his alarming behavior, especially since the audience knows plenty of shocking things about him that the other character don't (like that he knew the hiding spot between Maggie and Brandon James). The letters from Audrey to Piper cannot be explained any other way either, nor can the pictures from the barn. And we KNOW Eli was the one who lured the Mayor to the barn (and I'm guessing Kieran will figure that out). If the killer truly IS trying to frame Emma and Audrey, Eli is doing an horrible job at not making himself look incredibly guilty at the same time.
The season's not over yet, but we'll supposedly get the reveal of the (a) killer next week. I'm betting money it's Eli. Whether he's working alone is an open question (I lean towards there is another killer). Dark horse is the Sheriff, but that would be like the Piper reveal in being totally unfair to the viewer. Even more-so because the killer called him and we heard their conversation from the perspective that the Sheriff didn't know who it was. But my first guess is Eli, and if there is a second killer, Stavos. ****.
Angie Tribeca "Electoral Dysfunction"
Wow, that was non-stop spoof. The weird thing about Airplane and The Naked Gun is that even when the movies used the emotional beats between the characters to poke fun at how cheesy and badly written those cliches are, those beats actually existed in the first place. There is a sincerity to Frank Drebin that is completely absent in this episode. What is weird is that it isn't completely absent on the series usually, but this episode was all comedy with no larger agenda.
James Franco doesn't watch the show, he's just doing a cameo for a friend. If James Franco watched all of the stuff he cameoed in he'd never be able to leave his den.
The garbage truck chase was masterful comedy. And they sold the frustration and triumph. Which is the last thing the audience should believe. But I kind of did.
I think the episode was much funnier than usual, which is good. But I was also more detached to it than usual, which is not. ****1/2.
Star Trek Beyond
Even numbered quality, odd numbered movie. Trekkies will know what I mean.
I think the thing I love best was McCoy basically giving Spock the business about him and Uhura breaking up. Because on the surface it sounds like Bones is the d*ck of the year for rubbing his friend's face in the fact that his serious relationship just ended. And Spock had been with Uhura over three years (at least)! What is WRONG with Bones?!
I love that moment because Bones' behavior doesn't suggest there is something wrong with Bones. It suggests to me there is something wrong with Spock and Uhura. The fact that Bones doesn't take this seriously says to me that Spock and Uhura are one of THOSE couples. You know, the kind who break up with each other and get back together every two weeks. Get into screaming matches at their friends' wedding receptions, and you walk in on them having sex in the coat room 20 minutes later. I laugh thinking about Spock and Uhura as Ross and Rachel. But that is the only explanation to Bones' behavior other than the fact that he is possibly the world's biggest douchecanoe. But no, just the fact that they DO get back together at the end of the film says that Bones is right to find their relationship drama ridiculous. And I love that Spock is one of THOSE guys. I never would have predicted that and it's hilarious.
I was very moved that Spock Prime brought a picture of the original Enterprise crew with him on his voyage to this universe. The look of wonder on our Spock's face as he saw aged versions of his friends was a super cool concept. I'm glad Spock Prime got his due in this movie. I hope Chekov is given the same consideration in Star Trek 4.
The whole Sulu being gay thing was a big bucket of nothing. He doesn't even introduce his partner or even say that's who he is. He doesn't even get any lines. As far as an audience member who isn't aware of the Takei drama is concerned, he may as well be Sulu's brother. I wonder if this was changed at the last minute for Takei. Because I cannot imagine them publicly stating that about the character unless they filmed an actual scene confirming it and simply changed their mind at the last minute.
Xindi shout-out! You want Star Trek: Enterprise to just go away, and the franchise refuses to let it!
Loved the reference to the giant green hand. All of the TOS players seem to be the same, it's just possible that the Enterprise is getting around to meeting them in the wrong order.
Idris Elba was wasted as Krall. I mean, what's the point? Idris Elba is probably the hottest male actor alive, and they cover up his face entirely in ugly alien (?) make-up. He should have been cast as a human admiral so I could look at his fineness, and keep having to remind myself I'm not actually gay.
I really dig the design of Jaylah. We haven't getting a really striking looking Trek alien in awhile, and her black and white design is probably the best alien make-up since the Jem'Hadar.
Loved the joke at the beginning of the fierce warrior race turning out to be the size of small dogs. You can get a joke like that in a Star Trek novel, but the Kelvin Timeline is the first group of Trek movies that actually have the budget and CGI expertise to actually pull that gag off. You literally could not have done that ten years ago on a Trek budget. Never.
The movie seems to have a very interesting idea about what constitutes classical music. Hmmm...
This is not the best Star Trek movie. Wrath Of Khan, Voyage Home, and First Contact are all far superior. But this is easily the best Kelvin Timeline one. Definitely. ****1/2.
LEGO Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures "The Maker Of Zoh"
I like that Jeks seems to be used for all of the LEGO Star Wars projects because he uses the Force in an interesting way: to build stuff. In a LEGO universe, that is a very useful skill. Not bad. ***1/2.
The Lion Guard "The Trouble With Galagos"
You know what? This was straight-up terrible. Alarmingly so. The fact that the writers, directors, and producers thought something this badly written and plotted would be acceptable under any circumstance, even as a preschool show, is disturbing. Disney has stopped trying, and if The Lion Guard thinks this is an okay thing to connect the film to, the franchise is now hopeless. Seriously. The movie was NEVER this dumb, and obvious. Granted, it wasn't geared towards preschoolers, but that fact just makes me wonder again why this show ever was in the first place.
And The Lion Guard exposes a problem in The Lion King that cannot be addressed by the Guard and truly disturbs me: The lions get to decide who does and doesn't get eaten. That's pretty much the definition of a fascist dictatorship, is it not? And yet the show treats the idea of the Guard eating animals they can purposefully converse with as totally okay if they decide it is. Why should the Galagos go to the Guard for help? And why should the Guard actually even WANT to help them? What is different about a leopard eating those things than a lion eating gazelle?
The interesting thing about the movie is that it had the same moral, but it kind of was asking the audience around the edges of it to not take it literally. It was subversively saying with "The zebra bones feed the grass" line that Mufasa had no actual idea about ecology, and that's just how he justifies his place on the food chain to lesser animals, and that he was pulling it out of his butt. The fact that Simba looks upon this explanation in wonder is I think supposed to disturb the audience on some level. THIS show actually seems to be trying to say that Circle of Life idea is legit. When it is plain crazy when every animal is sentient.
And what is the moral of the story? Kids should learn how to threaten better? If the show IS truly going to aim itself at preschoolers, maybe it should teach children how to be more loving and kind. The episode said it was getting the Leopard to stand up for himself. But does anyone really think a toddler needs to be taught that? Toddlers are incredibly self-focused, so you'd figure the lesson for the pre-school show would be that they should be LESS confrontational to unfriendly people, not more. A good kiddie show moral should not be "the meaner bully always wins."
And finally, Jack MacBrayer. I cannot tell if he is slumming, or this is simply his career trajectory post 30 Rock. I think this is the latter. I sadly do NOT think this show is too good for him at this point. And that is seriously depressing.
This show has major problems. 0.
Elena Of Avalor "Island Of Youth"
I loved that! Who knew?
What this exciting and tense episode tells me is that this show needs to lose the Disney Channel teenage drama episodes, and focus strictly on the adventures. It is not an accident Isabella's plot with the musical instrument was the only terrible thing about the episode.
Guitardian sounds vaguely offensive. It's sort of like Stan Smith from American Dad! naming his teddy bears "Celebeartions" without realizing that sounds like both celebration and abortions. They REALLY should have either found a different name, or combined different instruments.
I love that the magic map works like a mobile device! That's clever! I hope all future Disney Princess projects do modern stuff like that within the framework of "A long time ago".
As for Estabon, I think the series has changed its mind about turning him into the villain. They're not gonna do that. He's not Hans. He's the series' antagonist usually, but he's not a bad guy. Him choosing to save Elena over the Fountain of Youth water proves it.
I hope the show does more episodes like this. Technically because of the Isabella stuff the episode wasn't perfect. But I grade on a curve, so five stars. *****.
Girl Meets World "Girl Meets I Do"
Do you know what I love about this show? In fact, it might be one of the few things I actually DO outright love about it. I love that this show actually explores relationships between the adult characters. I do not watch any other Have A Laugh kidcoms, but I would be very surprised if Girl Meets World isn't singularly unique in this regard. And they can get away with it because the adult characters used to be the kid characters on the old show, so it's fine to show us the progression (or in the case of male-on-male pillowfights, the lack thereof).
I love Feeny as the Minister because they made a joke that you shouldn't think too hard about it. That was entirely Feeny on the original series for how they kept finding ways to use him past the first season.
I love Cory trying to selflessly give Shawn permission to love Katie more than him, but Shawn's already there. Cory's probably been demoted to number three. Cory thinks he's departing a harsh life lesson by telling Shawn he likes Topanga more than him, but Shawn already is aware of how obvious that is. As amazing as Cory seems to the kids, the truth is he is far less amazing than he thinks he is.
The scene with Maya talking to Riley who refused to wake up was good and bad. Good, because I think most shows would have had Riley faking being asleep, but frankly, she's a teenage girl. I do not think less of her for her simply not being able to wake up when her friend needed her. It was bad because the scene of Maya wearing Riley like a coat made me cringe. They are far too old in my mind to be that physically intimate with each other. I get little kids having no boundaries with personal space. I think teenagers should probably have some.
I like that the show is basically saying that Maya is trying to make the whole situation about her, but Shawn simply lets her. Why not? He's happy and she's miserable. Why not fix that? He's an adult. And I especially love that he refuses to promise this "will work". Because Shawn HAS been in Maya's shoes before, and he knows those words are complete b.s. and meaningless. He CAN'T promise that. They are also a completely unrealistic expectation for him, so maybe it's better he outright clarifies that then and there.
I have to say Rider Strong has developed into a decent actor. When he seriously, and I mean SERIOUSLY, tells Maya that "I love you" are not words he uses often (if at all), I realized it's almost a shame this guy never had a bigger career. He's quite convincing as a romantic lead. The beard still bugs me though.
This show doesn't usually work. Once in awhile it does. This was one of those weeks. *****.
Scream "Heavenly Creature"
This show does too many dream sequences and it is all the worse for it. On a normal show, that opening sequence would have been terrifying and riveting. Here, I was busy thinking there was like a 70% chance it wasn't even real. That is a crazy storytelling decision on a horror franchise with no supernatural elements. If I cannot believe what I am seeing, that means I will not be scared when I should be. I'm a bit amazed the writers of a TV series set in the horror genre didn't see this problem coming with all of the fake-outs they do. It was inevitable I would not be scared at a moment I was supposed to be during that.
I know hindsight is 20/20 and I'm basically Monday morning quarterbacking a frightened teenage girl, but if that had be me? I would have thrown the pitchfork across the room when I heard the siren. And even if the cops opened up the barn faster than was believable, Emma still had a few seconds to do that. Crazy she didn't.
And they are fingered for the Mayor's murder for the same reason Henry Allen was his wife on The Flash: They tried to save his life. Bummer.
Personally, I do NOT think Emma and Audrey are going to be considered guilty for very long. Why? Because they have answers for everything. Even Audrey can properly justify most of the stuff she did. Discovering Jake's body and keeping it a secret makes her a scumbag, not a criminal. And there is no actual evidence against Emma at all.
Revised my killer theory. It's 50/50 not Stavos. I truly believe this kid is simply amazingly stupid with poor judgment. If I am right, he'll be lucky to survive the season. Still, the hint that there is a second killer is worrying. Because he is the second most likely suspect and he'll probably be one of them if it's true.
I think it's Eli and I think the series is going to take the opposite tack they did last year and make the most obvious suspect the guilty one. The preview hinted there might be a second killer amidst the group of friends, but that might be a "promo theory" rather than an actual fact. But if there ARE two killers again, I'm betting money Eli is one of them.
Why? Unlike Emma and Audrey, there is no acceptable excuse or answer Eli could give about his alarming behavior, especially since the audience knows plenty of shocking things about him that the other character don't (like that he knew the hiding spot between Maggie and Brandon James). The letters from Audrey to Piper cannot be explained any other way either, nor can the pictures from the barn. And we KNOW Eli was the one who lured the Mayor to the barn (and I'm guessing Kieran will figure that out). If the killer truly IS trying to frame Emma and Audrey, Eli is doing an horrible job at not making himself look incredibly guilty at the same time.
The season's not over yet, but we'll supposedly get the reveal of the (a) killer next week. I'm betting money it's Eli. Whether he's working alone is an open question (I lean towards there is another killer). Dark horse is the Sheriff, but that would be like the Piper reveal in being totally unfair to the viewer. Even more-so because the killer called him and we heard their conversation from the perspective that the Sheriff didn't know who it was. But my first guess is Eli, and if there is a second killer, Stavos. ****.
Angie Tribeca "Electoral Dysfunction"
Wow, that was non-stop spoof. The weird thing about Airplane and The Naked Gun is that even when the movies used the emotional beats between the characters to poke fun at how cheesy and badly written those cliches are, those beats actually existed in the first place. There is a sincerity to Frank Drebin that is completely absent in this episode. What is weird is that it isn't completely absent on the series usually, but this episode was all comedy with no larger agenda.
James Franco doesn't watch the show, he's just doing a cameo for a friend. If James Franco watched all of the stuff he cameoed in he'd never be able to leave his den.
The garbage truck chase was masterful comedy. And they sold the frustration and triumph. Which is the last thing the audience should believe. But I kind of did.
I think the episode was much funnier than usual, which is good. But I was also more detached to it than usual, which is not. ****1/2.
