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matt_zimmerAlso reviews for the latest episodes of Marvel's Avengers: Ultron Revolution, Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy, and LEGO Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures, the first three episodes of Elena Of Avalor, and the latest episodes of Mickey Mouse and Girl Meets World, the season finale of Wayward Pines, and the latest episodes of Scream and Angie Tribeca.
Preacher "Pilot"
I'll say the same thing I said when I saw Constantine's Pilot: I don't know what I just saw but I want to see more. I will be back next week.
Loved Tulip bonding with the kids over her making a homemade bazooka. I'm take any excuse to see Ruth Negga's bumbum, even if it's only in silhouette.
Love the idea of Tom Cruise exploding. I hope that happens in real life.
Wild show. ****.
Preacher "See"
This raised all of the right questions. The two ways to summon a demon are the Winkin, Blinkin, and Nod Lullaby, or a chainsaw. Whichever works.
I have a lot of questions about this world. What did the prologue have to do with anything? Is this set in the present? The near future? The far future? An alternate universe? After the apocalypse? DURING the apocalypse? I want to know and I kind of love that the series hasn't outright said these things so far.
I love that Tulip didn't actually tie Preacher's chain to the wall. Good gag.
Weird show. ***1/2.
Preacher "The Possibilities"
That scene of Preacher and Donnie in the bathroom shows just how awful that power is and why no-one should have it.
I loved the scene of Tulip talking her way out of a ticket. Because she isn't just trying to get away. That would have happened anyways. She's trying to not have to kill the cop. Tulip seems to be one of those characters who do terrible things who only do those terrible things as a last resort. When they are forced to. The scene was very interesting.
I really like Cassidy and am dying to find out what is up with those "Heaven Clones".
This show has officially piqued my interest. ****1/2.
Preacher "Monster Swamp"
I'm starting to get the idea that the Preacher is a bad guy.
I still have no idea what is going on when I watch this.
Cassidy is the best character on the show.
Quinncannon peeing in the briefcase was super gross.
I really like that this show has a proper main title / theme song. I wish all TV shows did.
Definitely a curiosity. ***1/2.
Preacher "South Will Rise Again"
Of COURSE the power isn't God. That is not a divine power at all. And Quincannon is just the first proof of it.
Can't wait to see how the Cowboy actually connects to all this.
Tulip ain't into Cassidy at all if their sex scene is any indication.
Nice what Preacher did for Eugene, but after what happened with Quincannon, I'm wondering if this will lead to a similar disaster. Feels very weird and icky for Eugene to be referred to as "it". The townspeople suck.
Those Heaven guys probably waited too long to answer the phone.
Gettin' good. ***1/2.
Preacher "Sundowner"
That was bananas! SO good. First great episode of the series.
I disagree with both the Custodians AND the Preacher. I do not really think Genesis strikes me as the kind of thing that should actually never be used. The religious fervor against it strikes me as a bit of bigotry for demon and angel race mixing. That's the feeling I get. The angels don't know what to do with it, so they don't want anyone else to have it either. But that doesn't really ring true to me, especially if there IS a war between Heaven and Hell going on. It could be a very powerful force for good if used properly and wisely. But the person controlling it would have to be both a saint and a genius to work it right. Individual saints and geniuses are rare enough. I've never heard of a person who is both, and I think that's the only person who could properly use it.
It would have to both. A saint would never want the power and would refuse it, and a non-saint genius would automatically abuse it. I cannot think of anyone who would be worthy. And certainly not Jesse Custer. Him not exploding doesn't mean he should keep it.
Preacher is neither a saint OR a genius. I am less concerned with the idea that he doesn't want to give the power up even after learning the full story. I kind of get why someone might be hesitant to let a gift like that pass from their lives. I do. No, what alarms me is that Jesse doesn't actually seem to have a plan for what to do with it. At all. And again, this is where being a saint or a genius would come in handy. And the fact that Jesse is so thoroughly unequipped to deal with it tells me the power choosing him was random, and that he is one of the last people who should have it.
Tulip is insane. I kind of like the subtext that Emily, a very mind-mannered, and mousy Church-going, single mother, is surrounded by nothing but lunatics. What is especially fun about that is she doesn't realize it yet. But maybe Tulip watching her pee a couple of episodes ago should have been a clue.
I strongly dislike Eugene, just because he supposedly committed an atrocity on the level of murder, and I don't just forgive him for that. But he's right that he SHOULDN'T be forgiven. And God willing if he someday is, it should be for real. Absolution means nothing without sincerity. How a Preacher doesn't know that is beyond me.
I also got strong David Lynch vibes first by the wide-angle weird shots and minimal dialogue, but the mythology of this show reminds me of Twin Peaks too. The whole Genesis Heaven and Hell war sounds like it has an entire arc mythology built into it. Similar to the Black Lodge and Glastonberry Grove on Twin Peaks. It sounds heavily researched and as if the writers put in a lot of time and effort into mapping it out. But in reality is probably simpler. The Ancient Familiars in Twin Peaks weren't created in actuality to make the weird stuff make sense, but simply because it sounded cool. This Heaven War and Genesis explains exactly nothing, and will probably wind up meaning exactly that to the canon. But it SOUNDS cool, which means it is. And I think it is VERY similar to the Black Lodge in trying to attach a plausible explanation to the unexplainable. I want to believe this has been in David Lynch's head the entire time, and the secret Twin Peaks Bible is layered with notes about this unknown story. But the truth is Lynch and Mark Frost probably thought it sounded cool, and didn't put more examination into it than that. It's the fans who have read so much into this stuff. That was the vibe I got from the Heaven war and Genesis. If we actually see the Heaven War on the series I will be VERY surprised.
Best episode so far. *****.
Preacher "He Gone"
The power is temporary! That automatically puts the Custodians back in play, and possibly Eugene. This also tells me Eugene's salvation would have only been temporary as well. But since he's in Hell, he might need actual help to get back. Cue the Custodians.
I really hate Jesse. The fact that he doesn't feel bad is why. And I'm going to state something weird. I haven't changed my original theory that Genesis itself is not evil. What Jesse's actions tell me is that Jesse is, and Genesis was simply a catalyst for that. This is always who the Preacher has been deep down. When he tells the people in the play to show some fear I was like "Oh, he's one of THESE guys now." I would have liked to have thought he wasn't before that moment, but if I'm right about Genesis being morally neutral, this is who he has always been deep down.
Eugene's life story makes no sense to me. Why isn't he in prison? How could he possibly beat the wrap for that? Does the Sheriff actually have THAT much juice? Because he seems like kind of a dope.
I'll say one thing for Sheriff. I like that he didn't realize he missed Eugene until he was gone. He probably thought he didn't love him and his absence proves that untrue. That's really cool and another reason I hate Jesse.
Cassidy talking smack about The Big Lebowski will never get old. It's considered a classic now but when it was first released it did very poorly at the box office and got mixed reviews at best. Hindsight often improves movies. I like that as a vampire, perhaps Cassidy's opinions are stuck in one place too.
I love that "Principle's Office" is given just as harsh a title card as "Outer Space" in the Pilot.
Dark stuff and great cliffhanger. ****1/2.
Preach "El Valero"
Not too deep and crowded. What is great about those clues to Hell is that I would have accepted them had they been true. They sound right. But they ESPECIALLY sound right if they are merely in the mind of a crazy Preacher.
Honestly? This whole thing probably would have been over had the Custodians kept their word to help Eugene. I'm a little bit amazed they were too dumb to do that because this is now probably going to be the only time Jesse gives it up willingly. He'll never do that again once he knows what their word is worth. What kind of angels are they?
But they DID ask Preacher the question of the night "What good have you done with it?" And the answer is nothing. Which is probably why Jesse was in a briefly reasonable mood.
God of Meat. Quinncannon is crazy. I'm still amazed the guy hasn't yet been locked up in a looney bin. There is absolutely no reason the people who have been covering his crimes should have done that. But this does say that the power isn't actually temporary as I theorized in an earlier review.
"Preacher shot my d*ck off. See?" Funniest line of the night especially since it was said in a brightly innocent voice.
I was wondering what was going on with Tulip and the dog bonding when I realized it was a goodbye so she could sacrifice it for Cassidy. Tulip is a better person than either he or Preacher ever suspected.
Donnie deafening himself was brilliant. Which also shows the power has limits. The deaf cannot be swayed. And I love that it was a halfwit like Donnie who first came up with the idea.
Pretty good week. ***1/2.
Preacher "Finish The Song"
I hated the massacre in the beginning. I HATE watching stuff like that, and that was the reason I gave up on American Horror Story. But I cannot deny that it led somewhere interesting: Big "Hell" title card. I suspected as much once the story started to loop and realized the Cowboy is Roland Deschain without the grace of God. Sure Roland is destined to go to the Tower over an over again. But maybe this time the horn from Jericho Hill will lead him down a different path. There is no escape from the Cowboy's hell. Even if he takes the Custodians at their word, he's still gonna have to die SOMETIME, and this is a temporary reprieve at best.
Here's a good question: is the Cowboy more connected to the main story than he appears? Is he a distant relation to either Jesse or Quinncannon? His wife and daughter died, but that doesn't mean he has no brothers or sisters to continue the lineage. For all we know, he may have a b@stard child out there too. If he IS related to someone, it's probably Quinncannon. He is the only person in the story who hates God more than him.
When Miles received that phone call from Emily, my first thought was, "He didn't get out." I knew what was coming, and I enjoyed being right.
The angel hands thing, like Donnie deafening himself last episode, shows that the rules of this universe are very literal, and can be worked around by clever people. That never should have worked in a million years, but that's the type of show this is. I approve.
I love that the Custodians are apparently gay lovers, and one of them is bummed he has to leave his comic books behind on the bus to Hell. THAT'S what was in the briefcase? Okie doke. I absolutely loved the moment of the dog crossing the road as the bus to Hell rolled on. Whoever thought of that was a genius because it made the moment real and believable. It is something relatable David Lynch would do, which shows another way this show is like Twin Peaks.
Angel prostitution is a thing. Which leads me to believe that Preacher's theory last week about Hell being crowded is probably untrue. I'm betting Heaven is. They'll let you get away with anything Up There.
The ending saved it. ***.
Marvel's Avengers: Ultron Revolution "Inhumans Among Us"
Hulk spotlights are always the best, and this version of Hulk is one of my favorites. Not quite as awesome as the one from Earth's Mightiest Heroes, but that version seems to be this one's biggest influence, and it shows.
I love that Hulk loves Lockjaw and can understand him perfectly. They don't explain it, and they don't NEED to explain it. I also love that this version of Hulk was going out of his way NOT to hurt the attacking Inhumans. A LOT of Hulk interpretations smash first and ask questions later, but this Hulk is actually concerned at how outmatched they are against him, and doesn't want to hurt them. Hulk is strongest there is. He has nothing to prove, and since he's a good guy, there is no reason to not try and simply get away from these guys.
Carnac's weakness powers were finally explained properly to me. I couldn't figure out why a couple of weeks ago on the Guardians cartoon he was telling Drax he'd find a weakness on him.
Also cool that we got a little continuity from Hulk And The Agents Of S.M.A.S.H. by reminding people this (somewhat loose) continuity's Hulk already met the Inhumans on his canceled TV show. I like that that show has not been outright forgotten.
I loved the episode. ****1/2.
Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy "I Feel The Earth Move"
Disappointed. Simply because they didn't answer any of my unanswered questions from last week about the Cosmic Seed.
Still, it WAS sort of interesting to see Drax saving Ronan's life because he wants to be the guy to personally kill him. Personally, I think Drax is overthinking things a bit, but I love that because now Ronan owes him a life-debt, and still hadn't properly paid it off by the end of the episode. Whatever else happens next with Ronan, that could come in VERY handy, even though Ronan is clear it's a favor only Drax himself is allowed to benefit from.
I was disappointed they didn't get the rights to Leroy Brown! And I'm a little puzzled why not. They quoted enough of the song to have to pay for it, why not go for the whole thing instead of putting up money for an entirely different song? Or was that Leroy Brown and I just didn't recognize it (I admit I'm not familiar with the song)? But I know for a fact that in the portion of the song they played, Leroy Brown was not mentioned once.
Although maybe it would have been a plothole. If Peter had that on his mix-tape, everyone else would have gotten the reference.
Underwhelmed. ***.
LEGO Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures "The Test"
Wow, what a teaser! This is Lego? Holy cow.
I give the series props for coming up with a solution I didn't see out of the Naare mess. Run, Simba. Run. And never look back. I had actually thought of that as the Freemakers' permanent base and thought the idea of them leaving was a non-starter. But in reality? That was the only answer.
The rest of the episode with Hondu and the alien lady from Force Awakens wasn't that hot, but the teaser gives the episode a super high grade. ****.
Elena Of Avalor "First Day Of Rule"
This is kind of a rarity for a Disney TV cartoon. It's an entirely original property using the Disney animation "house-style". The only two previous TV cartoons to REALLY do that were Gummi Bears and arguably Gargoyles (which had a FAR bigger Disney influence in its animation style than its fans might like to admit). Most of the other Disney TV Animation "originals" seem to be based on the individual and varied cartoon styles of the various creators. Elena of Avalor is clearly Disney, despite having seemingly no connections to the actual Princess franchise yet.
I want to whap Elena over the head for choosing Estabon on the council. He's Hans in Frozen. Totally. If he doesn't wind up being as evil as that douchebag it will be a miracle. It's possible he's just comic relief. But Elena is dumb for giving him the power she did.
When Elena says "Where getting our ship back!" I for a split-second thought she said "Were getting our sh*t back!". Those two words REALLY sound similar out of context.
I liked the prologue at the beginning, but do you know what? That should have been the first episode! They should have made a one-hour Pilot based on that unknown fairytale and then made THIS the second episode. I feel like I was missing out on a big adventure and defining moment in Elena's life. And I'm still not sure why I did.
Technically, this wasn't great, but compared to Wicked World, it is definitely tolerable. **1/2.
Elena Of Avalor "Model Sister"
Got George Takei to say "Oh, my!". I like this show already.
Disney first: the first Disney Princess production to use the phrase "wardrobe malfunction." I didn't say it was a GOOD milestone.
Passable. **1/2.
Elena Of Avalor "All Heated Up"
Unlike the first two episodes, this gave me a definite feel for the series.
It's a dumb show. It's an obvious show. It's a show geared towards four-year-olds. That's fine, but I have to wonder what it is doing airing during Primetime Disney Channel if the target audience is toddlers. Is it possible older kids won't find this completely stupid? I really hope not. I really hope the next generation isn't that bad off. I sincerely hope Disney Channel put it in a dumb timeslot and will eventually move it to Disney Junior where it belongs.
Aladdin: The Series was also legitimately stupid, but at least that had wisecracks. As badly written and ham-fisted as it was, it could occasionally make me laugh. The humor is this show is completely mild-mannered and not even G-rated. It's pre TV-Y rated.
Do you know what's weird? The Lion Guard, a legit Disney Junior show is more hardcore than this. It deals with life and death stakes and often has potty humor to boot. And for some reason, even if the heroes are as dumb as this, there are always wiser characters to guide them out of it. Elena doesn't have that. Estabon has to escalate things and turns non-disasters into big deals.
And exactly how were they planning on throwing the monster out of the Kingdom? The Lion Guard says straight up that the "bad guys" are looking to kill the good guys (and sometimes even vice versa). How did they expect to achieve that without violence? And what would the logical endpoint of that violence be? Did they legitimately think they could storm the monster's house and try to violently move him with nobody getting killed? Because that's pretty much what the episode suggested the Council was thinking. One of the problems of doing a pre-school show is you have to dial back the menace. Well, the menace is dialed back so much on this show we aren't even allowed to point out that is what it is.
I have complimented The Lion Guard's animation for being able to keep up with a traditionally animated Disney film from 1994 while looking exactly as great. Unfortunately, because Elena is CGI, I can only compare this Princess TV show to CGI Disney movies. And Elena looks cheap and terrible by comparison. Unlike Descendants: Wicked World, there is a budget (there are actually a lot of different characters and settings which cost money in CGI) and unlike Wicked World, it's an adventure show instead of sitcom. But it still looks terrible, and ill-defined next to Tangled and Frozen. Honestly, if this show had been 2-D in the style of The Little Mermaid, nobody would have complained, and it would have looked amazing. It seems to me CGI TV shows often spend more money to look worse. And I think that's true of Elena of Avalor.
I am not a fan of this show because I am not in diapers. *.
Mickey Mouse "Good Sports"
FAIL. Epic FAIL. Epic MICKEY fail.
First off, the show cannot do How To or Sport Goofy like that. It does NOT work. Why?
Okay, Mickey cannot be the Narrator. The Narrator in a Sport Goofy cartoon should be a legitimate actor with a deep voice and gravitas to lend the proceedings credibility, which is destroyed by the contrasting images on-screen. When you hear the Mickey Mouse voice, there IS no credibility in the scenario, which automatically makes it unfunny. It's sort of like if Adam Sandler starred in The Naked Gun. It would not work. At all. Part of the humor is sort of treating it seriously. You can't do that when the voice is Mickey freaking Mouse.
Also, Mickey appears on-camera and interacts with the Goofs, which is a total Narrative don't in the "How To" shorts. The Narrator can help Goofy along by offering suggestions, but he should never get into the action itself, or the story AGAIN loses credibility.
I have no idea why they attempted a Sport Goofy cartoon while losing the very things that made them funny in the first place. 0.
Girl Meets World "Girl Meets Ski Lodge: Part 1"
Those fantasy sequences SUCKED. They also were clearly filler as the episode did not actually warrant a full two parts.
There was one moment I liked that I don't think anyone in the studio audience got. The joke of Farkle refusing to fight Zay in such a confrontational manner was quite funny. But because the fight was so quick, nobody in the audience seemed to register the joke. Which means it probably only worked for the viewers at home. But it DID work. **.
Girl Meets World "Girl Meets Ski Lodge: Part 2"
And of course the all nighter douchebag is the son of the girl who Cory kissed. I love that on Disney kidcoms staying up all night and talking is about as big a deal as cheating. You'd figure with the expressions on everybody's faces the next morning that they had caught Riley giving him head. She's wearing the same clothes! What else can that line do but make us all aware of how G rated the show is?
And God, this show is far too psychologically complex. It's a trashy sitcom. It does NOT need to give plausible and detailed reasons WHY Lucas chooses Riley over Maya. In real life, he just would. There is no need to justify kids feeling the way they do about stuff like that. They talked a bit about nature in the previous episode, but with all of the psychoanalyzing the show did for the reasons Maya and Riley acted the way they did, I have never seen a more clinical approach to a young romance. Lucas and Riley don't need to justify anything. And the fact that the show thinks they do makes me think that this show thinks it actually matters. To a MUCH smaller extent, Boy Meets World mattered. And this show is not that and never will be. It thinks it is deeper than it is. It will NEVER deal with the same deep themes of growing up as Boy Meets World does as long as sex is off the table. It's the elephant in the room and the fact that these high school kids never talk about it at all is starting to get noticeable. It was almost cute in middle school. Now it's starting to get outright strange.
Sigh. Better than part 1, but that isn't saying much. ***.
Wayward Pines "Bedtime Story"
Like the first season finale, I was disappointed. However I was less so here.
I'm glad the plague didn't work. While it really sucks that the rest of the town died, I was not cool with that plan. I was expecting Yedlin to try and reason with Margaret and I'm disappointed it didn't happen. '
Last season's last scene also gave us a glimpse of season two, and I'm a little bummed this did not. This is not a Shamaylan twist ending, so it's better in a way, but I would have liked to have seen a bit of the actual future of the town. Who knows if the show will get renewed again?
Arlene continues to be the best character on the show, and they finally gave her more than one scene and lots to do. Shiobhan Fallon-Hogan could handle it, and even made Arlene's over-the-top pathos seem credible. Her kissing Yedlin was a hoot.
Knowing this will probably return is the only consolation I take from an ending that unsatisfying. **1/2.
Scream "The Orphanage"
I love that the show remembered to have Maggie stare daggers at Acosta upon seeing Stavos' bloody picture of Emma. Seriously. That had to suck, and to the Sheriff's credit he was properly ashamed. I loved that moment and that he was brave enough to go to her with it.
Hayley earned her death. Total Darwin award.
That preview has me REALLY worried for Noah next week. If he WAS dead, they wouldn't actually spoil it, would they? Because that strikes me as the last thing a horror franchise should do. I bet it is either non-lethal or a fake-out.
Lang's reaction to Emma was very interesting. I still can't completely explain it.
Pretty good week. ***1/2.
Angie Tribeca "The Coast Is Fear"
Above average.
Really fun that they've started to include ridiculous recaps at the beginning. I would much prefer it if the recaps themselves were jokes (much like the "Next time on Arrested Development" segments were) but they at least are smart enough to make the jokes the major beat.
Geils know eyeliner and Amadeus. Fear him. Also, Smashmouth is one word, not two.
Frakes! With no beard! Does this mean if he returns in season three with a beard the show will get better?
No, you know what? "Grow the Beard" is the least accurate TV trope ever. Riker grew it in Next Gen season 2, which sucked exactly as much as season one did. The show wasn't actually good until season three. The beard had nothing to do with it. Respect the notion of a trope, TV Tropes.
Tanner and Atkins mouth sirens are hilarious. I also need to give a shout-out to the dude who plays Tanner. In season one, he was sort of a clown, but now he's sort of portrayed as a legit smoldering and intense cop. And as bad as he was as the clown is as good as Tanner is as the intense cop. I don't know why they didn't do this earlier. This show is a straight-laced spoof. ALL of the characters should be ostensibly serious.
Speaking of characters, this show has really been killing it with the casting of great actors. The guy on the docks has a great look to him (and participated in one of the funniest product placements I've ever seen for Dave and Buster's) and the guy who arm-wrestled Angie was similarly actually scary. This show would do better to cast legit actors and comedy pros, and less celebrities famous for being famous like Heather Graham.
I loved the teaser of the family finding the dead body in the freezer. Because it doesn't stop the guy from selling the fridge. It couldn't have been in there for more than 20 minutes, and it's already frozen! Pretty great, right?
Pretty great describes this episode in general. *****.
Preacher "Pilot"
I'll say the same thing I said when I saw Constantine's Pilot: I don't know what I just saw but I want to see more. I will be back next week.
Loved Tulip bonding with the kids over her making a homemade bazooka. I'm take any excuse to see Ruth Negga's bumbum, even if it's only in silhouette.
Love the idea of Tom Cruise exploding. I hope that happens in real life.
Wild show. ****.
Preacher "See"
This raised all of the right questions. The two ways to summon a demon are the Winkin, Blinkin, and Nod Lullaby, or a chainsaw. Whichever works.
I have a lot of questions about this world. What did the prologue have to do with anything? Is this set in the present? The near future? The far future? An alternate universe? After the apocalypse? DURING the apocalypse? I want to know and I kind of love that the series hasn't outright said these things so far.
I love that Tulip didn't actually tie Preacher's chain to the wall. Good gag.
Weird show. ***1/2.
Preacher "The Possibilities"
That scene of Preacher and Donnie in the bathroom shows just how awful that power is and why no-one should have it.
I loved the scene of Tulip talking her way out of a ticket. Because she isn't just trying to get away. That would have happened anyways. She's trying to not have to kill the cop. Tulip seems to be one of those characters who do terrible things who only do those terrible things as a last resort. When they are forced to. The scene was very interesting.
I really like Cassidy and am dying to find out what is up with those "Heaven Clones".
This show has officially piqued my interest. ****1/2.
Preacher "Monster Swamp"
I'm starting to get the idea that the Preacher is a bad guy.
I still have no idea what is going on when I watch this.
Cassidy is the best character on the show.
Quinncannon peeing in the briefcase was super gross.
I really like that this show has a proper main title / theme song. I wish all TV shows did.
Definitely a curiosity. ***1/2.
Preacher "South Will Rise Again"
Of COURSE the power isn't God. That is not a divine power at all. And Quincannon is just the first proof of it.
Can't wait to see how the Cowboy actually connects to all this.
Tulip ain't into Cassidy at all if their sex scene is any indication.
Nice what Preacher did for Eugene, but after what happened with Quincannon, I'm wondering if this will lead to a similar disaster. Feels very weird and icky for Eugene to be referred to as "it". The townspeople suck.
Those Heaven guys probably waited too long to answer the phone.
Gettin' good. ***1/2.
Preacher "Sundowner"
That was bananas! SO good. First great episode of the series.
I disagree with both the Custodians AND the Preacher. I do not really think Genesis strikes me as the kind of thing that should actually never be used. The religious fervor against it strikes me as a bit of bigotry for demon and angel race mixing. That's the feeling I get. The angels don't know what to do with it, so they don't want anyone else to have it either. But that doesn't really ring true to me, especially if there IS a war between Heaven and Hell going on. It could be a very powerful force for good if used properly and wisely. But the person controlling it would have to be both a saint and a genius to work it right. Individual saints and geniuses are rare enough. I've never heard of a person who is both, and I think that's the only person who could properly use it.
It would have to both. A saint would never want the power and would refuse it, and a non-saint genius would automatically abuse it. I cannot think of anyone who would be worthy. And certainly not Jesse Custer. Him not exploding doesn't mean he should keep it.
Preacher is neither a saint OR a genius. I am less concerned with the idea that he doesn't want to give the power up even after learning the full story. I kind of get why someone might be hesitant to let a gift like that pass from their lives. I do. No, what alarms me is that Jesse doesn't actually seem to have a plan for what to do with it. At all. And again, this is where being a saint or a genius would come in handy. And the fact that Jesse is so thoroughly unequipped to deal with it tells me the power choosing him was random, and that he is one of the last people who should have it.
Tulip is insane. I kind of like the subtext that Emily, a very mind-mannered, and mousy Church-going, single mother, is surrounded by nothing but lunatics. What is especially fun about that is she doesn't realize it yet. But maybe Tulip watching her pee a couple of episodes ago should have been a clue.
I strongly dislike Eugene, just because he supposedly committed an atrocity on the level of murder, and I don't just forgive him for that. But he's right that he SHOULDN'T be forgiven. And God willing if he someday is, it should be for real. Absolution means nothing without sincerity. How a Preacher doesn't know that is beyond me.
I also got strong David Lynch vibes first by the wide-angle weird shots and minimal dialogue, but the mythology of this show reminds me of Twin Peaks too. The whole Genesis Heaven and Hell war sounds like it has an entire arc mythology built into it. Similar to the Black Lodge and Glastonberry Grove on Twin Peaks. It sounds heavily researched and as if the writers put in a lot of time and effort into mapping it out. But in reality is probably simpler. The Ancient Familiars in Twin Peaks weren't created in actuality to make the weird stuff make sense, but simply because it sounded cool. This Heaven War and Genesis explains exactly nothing, and will probably wind up meaning exactly that to the canon. But it SOUNDS cool, which means it is. And I think it is VERY similar to the Black Lodge in trying to attach a plausible explanation to the unexplainable. I want to believe this has been in David Lynch's head the entire time, and the secret Twin Peaks Bible is layered with notes about this unknown story. But the truth is Lynch and Mark Frost probably thought it sounded cool, and didn't put more examination into it than that. It's the fans who have read so much into this stuff. That was the vibe I got from the Heaven war and Genesis. If we actually see the Heaven War on the series I will be VERY surprised.
Best episode so far. *****.
Preacher "He Gone"
The power is temporary! That automatically puts the Custodians back in play, and possibly Eugene. This also tells me Eugene's salvation would have only been temporary as well. But since he's in Hell, he might need actual help to get back. Cue the Custodians.
I really hate Jesse. The fact that he doesn't feel bad is why. And I'm going to state something weird. I haven't changed my original theory that Genesis itself is not evil. What Jesse's actions tell me is that Jesse is, and Genesis was simply a catalyst for that. This is always who the Preacher has been deep down. When he tells the people in the play to show some fear I was like "Oh, he's one of THESE guys now." I would have liked to have thought he wasn't before that moment, but if I'm right about Genesis being morally neutral, this is who he has always been deep down.
Eugene's life story makes no sense to me. Why isn't he in prison? How could he possibly beat the wrap for that? Does the Sheriff actually have THAT much juice? Because he seems like kind of a dope.
I'll say one thing for Sheriff. I like that he didn't realize he missed Eugene until he was gone. He probably thought he didn't love him and his absence proves that untrue. That's really cool and another reason I hate Jesse.
Cassidy talking smack about The Big Lebowski will never get old. It's considered a classic now but when it was first released it did very poorly at the box office and got mixed reviews at best. Hindsight often improves movies. I like that as a vampire, perhaps Cassidy's opinions are stuck in one place too.
I love that "Principle's Office" is given just as harsh a title card as "Outer Space" in the Pilot.
Dark stuff and great cliffhanger. ****1/2.
Preach "El Valero"
Not too deep and crowded. What is great about those clues to Hell is that I would have accepted them had they been true. They sound right. But they ESPECIALLY sound right if they are merely in the mind of a crazy Preacher.
Honestly? This whole thing probably would have been over had the Custodians kept their word to help Eugene. I'm a little bit amazed they were too dumb to do that because this is now probably going to be the only time Jesse gives it up willingly. He'll never do that again once he knows what their word is worth. What kind of angels are they?
But they DID ask Preacher the question of the night "What good have you done with it?" And the answer is nothing. Which is probably why Jesse was in a briefly reasonable mood.
God of Meat. Quinncannon is crazy. I'm still amazed the guy hasn't yet been locked up in a looney bin. There is absolutely no reason the people who have been covering his crimes should have done that. But this does say that the power isn't actually temporary as I theorized in an earlier review.
"Preacher shot my d*ck off. See?" Funniest line of the night especially since it was said in a brightly innocent voice.
I was wondering what was going on with Tulip and the dog bonding when I realized it was a goodbye so she could sacrifice it for Cassidy. Tulip is a better person than either he or Preacher ever suspected.
Donnie deafening himself was brilliant. Which also shows the power has limits. The deaf cannot be swayed. And I love that it was a halfwit like Donnie who first came up with the idea.
Pretty good week. ***1/2.
Preacher "Finish The Song"
I hated the massacre in the beginning. I HATE watching stuff like that, and that was the reason I gave up on American Horror Story. But I cannot deny that it led somewhere interesting: Big "Hell" title card. I suspected as much once the story started to loop and realized the Cowboy is Roland Deschain without the grace of God. Sure Roland is destined to go to the Tower over an over again. But maybe this time the horn from Jericho Hill will lead him down a different path. There is no escape from the Cowboy's hell. Even if he takes the Custodians at their word, he's still gonna have to die SOMETIME, and this is a temporary reprieve at best.
Here's a good question: is the Cowboy more connected to the main story than he appears? Is he a distant relation to either Jesse or Quinncannon? His wife and daughter died, but that doesn't mean he has no brothers or sisters to continue the lineage. For all we know, he may have a b@stard child out there too. If he IS related to someone, it's probably Quinncannon. He is the only person in the story who hates God more than him.
When Miles received that phone call from Emily, my first thought was, "He didn't get out." I knew what was coming, and I enjoyed being right.
The angel hands thing, like Donnie deafening himself last episode, shows that the rules of this universe are very literal, and can be worked around by clever people. That never should have worked in a million years, but that's the type of show this is. I approve.
I love that the Custodians are apparently gay lovers, and one of them is bummed he has to leave his comic books behind on the bus to Hell. THAT'S what was in the briefcase? Okie doke. I absolutely loved the moment of the dog crossing the road as the bus to Hell rolled on. Whoever thought of that was a genius because it made the moment real and believable. It is something relatable David Lynch would do, which shows another way this show is like Twin Peaks.
Angel prostitution is a thing. Which leads me to believe that Preacher's theory last week about Hell being crowded is probably untrue. I'm betting Heaven is. They'll let you get away with anything Up There.
The ending saved it. ***.
Marvel's Avengers: Ultron Revolution "Inhumans Among Us"
Hulk spotlights are always the best, and this version of Hulk is one of my favorites. Not quite as awesome as the one from Earth's Mightiest Heroes, but that version seems to be this one's biggest influence, and it shows.
I love that Hulk loves Lockjaw and can understand him perfectly. They don't explain it, and they don't NEED to explain it. I also love that this version of Hulk was going out of his way NOT to hurt the attacking Inhumans. A LOT of Hulk interpretations smash first and ask questions later, but this Hulk is actually concerned at how outmatched they are against him, and doesn't want to hurt them. Hulk is strongest there is. He has nothing to prove, and since he's a good guy, there is no reason to not try and simply get away from these guys.
Carnac's weakness powers were finally explained properly to me. I couldn't figure out why a couple of weeks ago on the Guardians cartoon he was telling Drax he'd find a weakness on him.
Also cool that we got a little continuity from Hulk And The Agents Of S.M.A.S.H. by reminding people this (somewhat loose) continuity's Hulk already met the Inhumans on his canceled TV show. I like that that show has not been outright forgotten.
I loved the episode. ****1/2.
Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy "I Feel The Earth Move"
Disappointed. Simply because they didn't answer any of my unanswered questions from last week about the Cosmic Seed.
Still, it WAS sort of interesting to see Drax saving Ronan's life because he wants to be the guy to personally kill him. Personally, I think Drax is overthinking things a bit, but I love that because now Ronan owes him a life-debt, and still hadn't properly paid it off by the end of the episode. Whatever else happens next with Ronan, that could come in VERY handy, even though Ronan is clear it's a favor only Drax himself is allowed to benefit from.
I was disappointed they didn't get the rights to Leroy Brown! And I'm a little puzzled why not. They quoted enough of the song to have to pay for it, why not go for the whole thing instead of putting up money for an entirely different song? Or was that Leroy Brown and I just didn't recognize it (I admit I'm not familiar with the song)? But I know for a fact that in the portion of the song they played, Leroy Brown was not mentioned once.
Although maybe it would have been a plothole. If Peter had that on his mix-tape, everyone else would have gotten the reference.
Underwhelmed. ***.
LEGO Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures "The Test"
Wow, what a teaser! This is Lego? Holy cow.
I give the series props for coming up with a solution I didn't see out of the Naare mess. Run, Simba. Run. And never look back. I had actually thought of that as the Freemakers' permanent base and thought the idea of them leaving was a non-starter. But in reality? That was the only answer.
The rest of the episode with Hondu and the alien lady from Force Awakens wasn't that hot, but the teaser gives the episode a super high grade. ****.
Elena Of Avalor "First Day Of Rule"
This is kind of a rarity for a Disney TV cartoon. It's an entirely original property using the Disney animation "house-style". The only two previous TV cartoons to REALLY do that were Gummi Bears and arguably Gargoyles (which had a FAR bigger Disney influence in its animation style than its fans might like to admit). Most of the other Disney TV Animation "originals" seem to be based on the individual and varied cartoon styles of the various creators. Elena of Avalor is clearly Disney, despite having seemingly no connections to the actual Princess franchise yet.
I want to whap Elena over the head for choosing Estabon on the council. He's Hans in Frozen. Totally. If he doesn't wind up being as evil as that douchebag it will be a miracle. It's possible he's just comic relief. But Elena is dumb for giving him the power she did.
When Elena says "Where getting our ship back!" I for a split-second thought she said "Were getting our sh*t back!". Those two words REALLY sound similar out of context.
I liked the prologue at the beginning, but do you know what? That should have been the first episode! They should have made a one-hour Pilot based on that unknown fairytale and then made THIS the second episode. I feel like I was missing out on a big adventure and defining moment in Elena's life. And I'm still not sure why I did.
Technically, this wasn't great, but compared to Wicked World, it is definitely tolerable. **1/2.
Elena Of Avalor "Model Sister"
Got George Takei to say "Oh, my!". I like this show already.
Disney first: the first Disney Princess production to use the phrase "wardrobe malfunction." I didn't say it was a GOOD milestone.
Passable. **1/2.
Elena Of Avalor "All Heated Up"
Unlike the first two episodes, this gave me a definite feel for the series.
It's a dumb show. It's an obvious show. It's a show geared towards four-year-olds. That's fine, but I have to wonder what it is doing airing during Primetime Disney Channel if the target audience is toddlers. Is it possible older kids won't find this completely stupid? I really hope not. I really hope the next generation isn't that bad off. I sincerely hope Disney Channel put it in a dumb timeslot and will eventually move it to Disney Junior where it belongs.
Aladdin: The Series was also legitimately stupid, but at least that had wisecracks. As badly written and ham-fisted as it was, it could occasionally make me laugh. The humor is this show is completely mild-mannered and not even G-rated. It's pre TV-Y rated.
Do you know what's weird? The Lion Guard, a legit Disney Junior show is more hardcore than this. It deals with life and death stakes and often has potty humor to boot. And for some reason, even if the heroes are as dumb as this, there are always wiser characters to guide them out of it. Elena doesn't have that. Estabon has to escalate things and turns non-disasters into big deals.
And exactly how were they planning on throwing the monster out of the Kingdom? The Lion Guard says straight up that the "bad guys" are looking to kill the good guys (and sometimes even vice versa). How did they expect to achieve that without violence? And what would the logical endpoint of that violence be? Did they legitimately think they could storm the monster's house and try to violently move him with nobody getting killed? Because that's pretty much what the episode suggested the Council was thinking. One of the problems of doing a pre-school show is you have to dial back the menace. Well, the menace is dialed back so much on this show we aren't even allowed to point out that is what it is.
I have complimented The Lion Guard's animation for being able to keep up with a traditionally animated Disney film from 1994 while looking exactly as great. Unfortunately, because Elena is CGI, I can only compare this Princess TV show to CGI Disney movies. And Elena looks cheap and terrible by comparison. Unlike Descendants: Wicked World, there is a budget (there are actually a lot of different characters and settings which cost money in CGI) and unlike Wicked World, it's an adventure show instead of sitcom. But it still looks terrible, and ill-defined next to Tangled and Frozen. Honestly, if this show had been 2-D in the style of The Little Mermaid, nobody would have complained, and it would have looked amazing. It seems to me CGI TV shows often spend more money to look worse. And I think that's true of Elena of Avalor.
I am not a fan of this show because I am not in diapers. *.
Mickey Mouse "Good Sports"
FAIL. Epic FAIL. Epic MICKEY fail.
First off, the show cannot do How To or Sport Goofy like that. It does NOT work. Why?
Okay, Mickey cannot be the Narrator. The Narrator in a Sport Goofy cartoon should be a legitimate actor with a deep voice and gravitas to lend the proceedings credibility, which is destroyed by the contrasting images on-screen. When you hear the Mickey Mouse voice, there IS no credibility in the scenario, which automatically makes it unfunny. It's sort of like if Adam Sandler starred in The Naked Gun. It would not work. At all. Part of the humor is sort of treating it seriously. You can't do that when the voice is Mickey freaking Mouse.
Also, Mickey appears on-camera and interacts with the Goofs, which is a total Narrative don't in the "How To" shorts. The Narrator can help Goofy along by offering suggestions, but he should never get into the action itself, or the story AGAIN loses credibility.
I have no idea why they attempted a Sport Goofy cartoon while losing the very things that made them funny in the first place. 0.
Girl Meets World "Girl Meets Ski Lodge: Part 1"
Those fantasy sequences SUCKED. They also were clearly filler as the episode did not actually warrant a full two parts.
There was one moment I liked that I don't think anyone in the studio audience got. The joke of Farkle refusing to fight Zay in such a confrontational manner was quite funny. But because the fight was so quick, nobody in the audience seemed to register the joke. Which means it probably only worked for the viewers at home. But it DID work. **.
Girl Meets World "Girl Meets Ski Lodge: Part 2"
And of course the all nighter douchebag is the son of the girl who Cory kissed. I love that on Disney kidcoms staying up all night and talking is about as big a deal as cheating. You'd figure with the expressions on everybody's faces the next morning that they had caught Riley giving him head. She's wearing the same clothes! What else can that line do but make us all aware of how G rated the show is?
And God, this show is far too psychologically complex. It's a trashy sitcom. It does NOT need to give plausible and detailed reasons WHY Lucas chooses Riley over Maya. In real life, he just would. There is no need to justify kids feeling the way they do about stuff like that. They talked a bit about nature in the previous episode, but with all of the psychoanalyzing the show did for the reasons Maya and Riley acted the way they did, I have never seen a more clinical approach to a young romance. Lucas and Riley don't need to justify anything. And the fact that the show thinks they do makes me think that this show thinks it actually matters. To a MUCH smaller extent, Boy Meets World mattered. And this show is not that and never will be. It thinks it is deeper than it is. It will NEVER deal with the same deep themes of growing up as Boy Meets World does as long as sex is off the table. It's the elephant in the room and the fact that these high school kids never talk about it at all is starting to get noticeable. It was almost cute in middle school. Now it's starting to get outright strange.
Sigh. Better than part 1, but that isn't saying much. ***.
Wayward Pines "Bedtime Story"
Like the first season finale, I was disappointed. However I was less so here.
I'm glad the plague didn't work. While it really sucks that the rest of the town died, I was not cool with that plan. I was expecting Yedlin to try and reason with Margaret and I'm disappointed it didn't happen. '
Last season's last scene also gave us a glimpse of season two, and I'm a little bummed this did not. This is not a Shamaylan twist ending, so it's better in a way, but I would have liked to have seen a bit of the actual future of the town. Who knows if the show will get renewed again?
Arlene continues to be the best character on the show, and they finally gave her more than one scene and lots to do. Shiobhan Fallon-Hogan could handle it, and even made Arlene's over-the-top pathos seem credible. Her kissing Yedlin was a hoot.
Knowing this will probably return is the only consolation I take from an ending that unsatisfying. **1/2.
Scream "The Orphanage"
I love that the show remembered to have Maggie stare daggers at Acosta upon seeing Stavos' bloody picture of Emma. Seriously. That had to suck, and to the Sheriff's credit he was properly ashamed. I loved that moment and that he was brave enough to go to her with it.
Hayley earned her death. Total Darwin award.
That preview has me REALLY worried for Noah next week. If he WAS dead, they wouldn't actually spoil it, would they? Because that strikes me as the last thing a horror franchise should do. I bet it is either non-lethal or a fake-out.
Lang's reaction to Emma was very interesting. I still can't completely explain it.
Pretty good week. ***1/2.
Angie Tribeca "The Coast Is Fear"
Above average.
Really fun that they've started to include ridiculous recaps at the beginning. I would much prefer it if the recaps themselves were jokes (much like the "Next time on Arrested Development" segments were) but they at least are smart enough to make the jokes the major beat.
Geils know eyeliner and Amadeus. Fear him. Also, Smashmouth is one word, not two.
Frakes! With no beard! Does this mean if he returns in season three with a beard the show will get better?
No, you know what? "Grow the Beard" is the least accurate TV trope ever. Riker grew it in Next Gen season 2, which sucked exactly as much as season one did. The show wasn't actually good until season three. The beard had nothing to do with it. Respect the notion of a trope, TV Tropes.
Tanner and Atkins mouth sirens are hilarious. I also need to give a shout-out to the dude who plays Tanner. In season one, he was sort of a clown, but now he's sort of portrayed as a legit smoldering and intense cop. And as bad as he was as the clown is as good as Tanner is as the intense cop. I don't know why they didn't do this earlier. This show is a straight-laced spoof. ALL of the characters should be ostensibly serious.
Speaking of characters, this show has really been killing it with the casting of great actors. The guy on the docks has a great look to him (and participated in one of the funniest product placements I've ever seen for Dave and Buster's) and the guy who arm-wrestled Angie was similarly actually scary. This show would do better to cast legit actors and comedy pros, and less celebrities famous for being famous like Heather Graham.
I loved the teaser of the family finding the dead body in the freezer. Because it doesn't stop the guy from selling the fridge. It couldn't have been in there for more than 20 minutes, and it's already frozen! Pretty great, right?
Pretty great describes this episode in general. *****.
