Bad Ideas. A Fone Bone Essay.

Ever see The Man Show? That was the Comedy Central Show best known for being the thing Jimmy Kimmel was stuck on before he did anything good. And yes, I'm including Win Ben Stein's Money in that statement.

The Man Show started off as a satire of how dumb men and their ideas are, but it sort of went off the rails in the way Andrew Dice Clay did. For the record, Andrew Dice Clay only went off the rails by his own account. I do not for one second believe that account.

But Clay always says his comedy is a satire of hateful, bigoted people, and to show how dumb they are. He's supposedly making fun of the guy on-stage, and we're supposed to be in on the joke. I very much ever doubt that was really ever the intention, but if it was, it failed spectacularly. All of those fratboy @$$holes in Clay's stadium audiences screaming "Dice! Dice! Dice!" actually believed with and agreed with his deplorable racism and misogyny 100%. They were NOT in on some secret joke. They took Dice at face value, and made him an icon for it. And Dice trying to pretend differently in hindsight is a really specious argument, if you ask me.

And that's what happened to The Man Show. It was no longer a show making fun of dumb men, it was a show celebrating them. But Kimmel and Adam Corolla did a bit at the time, that I thought was absolutely brilliant, because it was terrible and untrue, and made me think at the same time. But the idea is that women should not be allowed to attend the Superbowl. Only men should be allowed that privilege.

What fascinated me about the idea is the logic behind it. It's actually good! According to those two erstwhile lunkheads, the only women who attend the Superbowl are the rich wives of the players, and owners, and other powerful people. They are basically taking a ticket away from something a man would enjoy for people only there to have something to brag about to their socialite friends after the fact. "Oh, my! What an experience! You really should attend next year!" Can't you just picture the snootiest of dowagers simpering that?

Like all dangerous ideas, there is a rationality behind it. It IS unfair that the Superbowl, one of the most highly sought out events of the year, is largely attended by people who don't actually care about football, and are only there for social standing. But like all bad patriarchal ideas, it misses the point of the problem entirely.

The problem is that The Superbowl is far too expensive for an everyday football fan to attend. Not having women there wouldn't make those tickets cheaper. It would just fill the stadium with more MEN who are there for business reasons, and don't actually care about the game. The problem isn't women, and it wouldn't be fixed by penalizing them. It's the ridiculous caste system America is beholden to, and the fact that for truly special occasions, nobody who will TRULY appreciate those occasions will be able to afford to attend. Tickets to Disneyworld have always been expensive, but they were affordable, if you saved up. Now they aren't. Now you can only take your kids there if you are rich. And that's only been a problem within the last few years. And it's extended to things like ComicCon too, which isn't quite at that level yet, but sooner or later, it will be, as it gets bigger and bigger every year. And the bigger and bigger things like ComicCon, and Disneyworld, and the Superbowl get, the less they are allowed to be enjoyed by people like you and I.

It's funny that this fact doesn't occur to Adam Carolla. He's a Republican. Where did he actually THINK those ideas led?

The Predictable Roseanne Barr Implosion: A Fone Bone Essay.

I saw this coming a mile away. As most people have noted, Roseanne has been tweeting insane racist conspiracy theories for years. This was always going to happen so don't act shocked.

A few things worth noting.

1. Roseanne Barr is an idiot. I want you know and understand that I have always thought that, even before her politics went the Dark Side. Back in the Bush era, liberals at blogs I hung out with, always smugly said that there was not a single liberal as stupid as the dumbest conservative. And I would bring up Barr every single time. She is an effing moron and always been. Seriously, if you want to get right down to it, her support of Trump basically boiled down to the notion that he was to the left of Hillary Clinton on economic issues. She is that stupid. Back when she was a liberal, I was always a bit ashamed somebody this dumb shared my exact political philosophy. There have been many Republicans who have made me question whatever conservative values I have. All of them have, in fact. But Barr is the only liberal I have ever had do that to me for my liberal ideals. Her supporting Trump was a bit of a relief.

2. Roseanne's original series literally delivered the worst series finale in television history. It was a huge middle finger to every single fan who watched the show for years. When I say the worst in television history, that is not hyperbole. Star Trek Enterprise's finale looks like The Fugitive's compared to Roseanne's. Let us itemize the suck. Roseanne basically took over as show-runner for the final season after firing all of the writers. John Goodman's views of the show had soured a bit, and he was relegated to a part time cast member in the last season. To temporarily write him out of the show, the show said he was having an affair and abandoned his family before coming to his senses in the latter half of the season. And the last season was basically The Beverly Hillbillies with Barr coming up with the idea that the Connors won the lottery. The writers thought that was dumb but they went along with it, and the show's last season was outright terrible. By the end of the season, and the time of the series finale, Roseanne decided to write / co-write the last episode itself.

It was effing infuriating.

I cannot properly convey how bad it was. She did a voice-narration bit at the end where she revealed that she was a novelist, and the entire series was a fictionalized version of her life. Some of her family members who were gay were actually straight, and vice versa. Her kids who married different brothers who we watched fall in love and have a kid together actually turned out to have married the other person. Worst of all is the notion that Dan died a year ago. Supposedly the affair as portrayed was done because Roseanne Connor felt him dying was such a betrayal that it felt like he cheated on her. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine non-sociopathic novelist portraying their beloved dead husband as a philanderer to strangers for simply having the unmitigated gall to die before she did? The psychological implications of Barr actually thinking that was even a REMOTELY human reaction boggle the mind, and shows she was always a psycho. Worst episode ever.

3. I have heard a lot of people expressing sadness for the actors and crew on the show who are now out of work. Don't. They knew what she was. They chose to let the Scorpion ride their backs anyways. So did ABC. She compared Susan Rice to a gorilla and called Hillary Clinton the c-word, and ABC gave her own show. Sara Gilbert is now all "It's sad when one cast member's behavior taints an entire series". I was like "No, Sara. The show is CALLED Roseanne. You don't get to distance yourself from what you gave a platform to." Gilbert, Goodman, Metcalf, Galecki all knew what they were getting into. Read John Goodman's body language in the Kimmel interview. It seems like he doesn't like sitting next to her, and has reservations despite how optimistic what he is saying is. All of the actors who came back chose to prop up Barr after all of the terrible things she has been saying, and after she personally destroyed the first version of her show that that same crew worked hard for years on. I feel a TINY bit bad for the bit actors like Michael Fishman who literally needed the paycheck, and since the original show's reruns are being pulled now, will not be getting any more residuals. Those are the people Barr truly screwed over. The ones who left with successful careers and signed a deal with the devil for a huge paycheck are not off the hook. And neither are producers and showrunners Wanda Sykes and Whitney Cummings. Roseanne's abusive behavior has long been documented. They knew what they were getting into.

Off topic: "Gilbert, Goodman, Metcalf, and Galecki" would be a good name for a law firm.