"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" (2014) Review (Do you really care if I spoil this crap?)

Also reviews for the latest episodes of Doctor Who, DC Superhero Girls, Supergirl, Gotham, and Wabbit, the long delayed viewing of the series finale of The Looney Tunes Show, the latest episode of Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy, the series premiere of The Lion Guard, the special Half Shell Heroes: Blast From The Past, and the latest episodes of The Simpsons, Power Rangers: Dino Charge, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Family Guy, The Last Man On Earth, Minority Report, Scream Queens, and Fargo. You might care about the spoilers for the rest of those.

Upcoming reviews include Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), Phineas And Ferb: Star Wars, Star Wars Rebels: Season 1, Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Attack Of The Legion Of Doom, Batman Unlimited: Monster Mayhem, Teen Titans Go!: House Pests, Arrow: Season 3, The Flash: Season 1, Gotham: Season 1, iZombie: Season 1, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Retreat!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Return To NYC!, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, Mr. Peabody & Sherman, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Doctor Who: Dark Water / Death In Heaven, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Grimm: Season 4, and Mulholland Dr..

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In defense of Muppet Babies.

I've heard it all. Henson sold out. Cheap production values. Annoying voices. Bad writing. Believe me, those gripes are all legitimate (and true).

What people may not remember was the state of Saturday morning television on the day Muppet Babies debuted. The instant "Noisy Neighbors" debuted, it was the single best animated project on television. Bar none. And you cannot seriously argue with me about that. All of the things that are cult faves now (Transformers, He-Man, Smurfs) were NOTHING compared to how amazing it was for my seven year old self to see Muppet Babies for the first time on that day in 1983. Where to begin?

People argue that the animation renaissance occurred in the early 1990's, but some John K. purists like to lump in Mighty Mouse: The New Adventures as the jumping off point for the animated resurgence. I think Muppet Babies deserves a LITTLE credit. Not a lot, but a smidge. As bad as Muppet Babies was, it started a few amazing trends that we now take for granted.

1. It did film and TV parodies. Not unheard of for a TV show, but definitely for a cartoon. Sesame Street did "Spoofs" too but those were always really loosely based so they would never get sued. The parodies Sesame Street had had the show take one of the words for a film or TV show and turn it into a pun (Twin Beaks, Colambo). They rarely ever actually spoofed the material the title was taken from. Muppet Babies actually licensed movie rights so they could do legit spoofs in a way few other shows have been able to. They put their money where their mouth was.

2. The songs were amazing. At least for the first season. You cannot argue with that. I would argue that almost every first season song is as good as C Is for Cookie or Rubber Duckie. I'm not joking.

3. The show looked incredible and like nothing else on television. It would often splice animation over live-action footage and have the babies interact with movie characters. In the most primitive, low-budget of ways, but that had never been done on a kids show before, and certainly not to this extent. The backgrounds were often illustrated or painted beautifully if the Babies were visiting a library or a museum. The entire look of the show was fluid based upon what the Babies were doing.

I still remember the debut of Noisy Neighbors. It was amazing. As that cardboard box pretending to be a submarine moves along the floor in the opening, even a 7 year old with terrible taste like me could admire the audacity for the Pilot episode keeping us in suspense as to what the Babies actually looked and acted like for so long. The brief theme song appearance wasn't enough (great song though). What a rip-off!

Then Gozno pokes first his nose out of the box (as a periscope) and then his entire head. And television history was made for my 7 year old self.

My first perceptions of Muppets Babies were just as amazing as I recall watching the first season of The Simpsons over the air was. There had never been another cartoon like it before. The Simpsons holds up to scrutiny and Muppet Babies doesn't, but the experiences were one and the same for me.

I am still afraid of Officer Caruthers calling again. Do you know the most subversive thing about the Pilot? It gave little kids a healthy fear of police. NOTHING is as bad as a grumpy Officer Caruthers. NOTHING. And that kept me in line for my childhood. The show was literally the first kids show that said police are not your friends. Muppet Babies doesn't deserve HALF the crap it gets just for that.