Competitive food eating is stupid.

I will never understand eating contests. Ever.

I don't know if I've told this story on my journal or not, but when I was a kid (maybe sixteen or seventeen) my school was having carnival type group of fun contests. I saw pie-eating was one of them and signed up immediately.

I have to confess I ruined the contest. I brought in a fork from home and started eating the pie daintily, cleanly, yet purposefully, enjoying every bite. For me, pie eating wasn't a means to get some reward at the end of a competition. Eating unlimited free pie, WAS the reward.

Needless to say I caused quite a stir. Everyone crowded around me and starting high-fiving me. I was never exactly popular in school. But I was also JUST weird enough to gain a modicum of respect from the cool kids. I didn't bother them and they didn't bother me. The fact that I was one of the few kids in school who didn't care about them, or want to be them, meant they could never figure me out, and they pretty much just left me alone.

But me bringing a fork to a pie-eating contest was a highlight of high school for me. I won't lie about that.