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matt_zimmerAlso reviews for the latest episodes of The Flash and Arrow.
Spider-Man: Far From Home
This is going to be a very long review, which is usually a bad sign. I tend to reserve those for things I dislike and am picking apart. Thankfully, I'll be mostly reporting good news here, but the review is probably going to be a bit of a bear and may be all over the map.
I liked, nay, LOVED everything in the movie until the tags. Both tags cut a giant fart in the room and then walked out. I was enjoying that silly Vacation end credits montage and then those bummed me out. A cliffhanger is also the wrong place to leave off an Epilogue, so I have many reasons to resent both. I disliked them so much I considered knocking off an entire star from this near perfect movie for less than five minutes of material. In the end, I'm only taking off a half star. I liked the rest of the movie that much.
Why does DC make it SO hard? Why is making an enjoyable superhero movie like pulling teeth for that company? I think I like and appreciate Tom Holland more than I ever did since they decided to ship him full-stop with MJ in this movie, and I get what makes his Peter different from Toby Maguire and Andrew Garfield. Holland is the cute Spider-Man. The one whose cheeks you want to pinch. Nothing says that more than the tentative and downright chaste kiss he and MJ are rewarded with after everything at the end of the movie. What I love about the Disney Channel vibe of that kiss is that Brad mistakes Peter with his pants down as something else. Sex clearly exists for some of the teenagers in the movie. And yet that's not where Peter and MJ are. They are nowhere NEAR it, and it's cute and refreshing, and it allows them to be kids and us to not feel bad about it.
Holland as Peter reminds me very much of Michael Cera as George Michael on Arrested Development. And yes, MJ is Maeby, except the ship doesn't make me want to throw up in my mouth a little. And if it did, at least Ben has a mint for that.
I suppose I should talk about some of the themes I noticed in the film. I suspect what a LOT of people will get from the movie is "Don't believe everything you see on TV". People can fool you. I didn't personally get that because Mysterio never fooled me. We'll talk about how Mysterio succeeded and failed in the movie later, but the thing I loved about the movie is the moral that people will surprise you. You can't predict what somebody is going to say or do next. And if you could, you might make different choices.
I think the biggest example of that is the fact that Peter is running around in the first half of the movie with MJ getting into the kinds of misunderstandings common on Three's Company. Peter is upset because Fury has thrust him into a below average sitcom. And finally when it's five minutes left until the credits, and he can tell the girl he likes her, she says she expected him to reveal he was Spider-Man.
That was a great curveball that the movie didn't need to do, but was great for doing. Peter has this idolized version of his first date with MJ going a certain way, and the instant she does that, he immediately lies to her. And you can tell by the look on his face he hates doing it for the precise reason he didn't expect he'd have to do it, especially not during his One Bright And Shining Moment. The revelation made him do something reflexively that got them off on the wrong foot. And it becomes such a huge embarrassment, she lies that her Spider-Man obsession is the only reason she was checking him out. That was my favorite thing in the movie. Do you know what my absolute favorite thing about it is? It's not too far. They can both come back from it, and pretty easily. This does not become the huge dramatic mess another franchise would turn it into in the name of melodrama. They're just kids working things out. And I like that.
MJ was so great this movie. She's obsessed with the word Bo and now that's all she's about. That was so funny. My favorite MJ moment came after the Spider-Man reveal, and the thing I loved about it is that Peter is playing checkers in their relationship, and Brad maybe has graduated to Candy Land, but MJ is freaking playing Go. And she's killing it. Brad does that whole thing about how terrible Peter is and talks about catching him with a girl in the bathroom with his pants and taking a picture. MJ doesn't have the whole story (or any of it) but knowing he's Spider-Man means there is almost certainly a good explanation for it. And instead of defending Peter's mysteriousness, she correctly points out it's weird to be taking pictures of dudes in the bathroom no matter what they're doing. Brad expected to drive a wedge between MJ and Peter by portraying Peter as a philanderer. But MJ is smarter than both boys, and deflects suspicion off Peter by again doing something Brad didn't expect.
The other moment I loved of characters acting in an unexpected way was the way Happy proved it was him. Instead of Three's Company, Peter now thinks he's in Star Trek, and Happy is going to say something touching and amazing that only Happy would say to Peter when it really counted. Instead, Happy talks about the adult movie Peter tried to pretend he didn't watch, and instead of feeding into his fairytale notions about what Happy should be, instead tells him something that ONLY Happy would actually know. It was such an unexpected and funny moment when Happy and Peter are having difficult enough problems establishing boundaries because of May. It was great.
Time to talk about Mysterio. I liked part of him, and I disliked part of him. Obviously the movie didn't fool Spider-Man fans of the comics or the cartoons. And I DO get that the movie needed a "Don't believe everything you see" subtext for someone like Mysterio. It's just that even if they created a new character out of whole cloth, and gave him the exact same role, as a mystery, it would still suck. It's obvious he's dirty from the beginning. He's far too noble, and perfect, and kind. There is no better metaphor for the fact that he can't be trusted than the fact that the glasses fit him perfectly. If he was less perfect, and had visible flaws, I'd have an easier time buying it. As someone who watched the cartoon when I was a teenager, I know Mysterio was a secret villain, but I object to it because I would have figured it out even if I didn't know that. That's the bad part of Mysterio.
The good part is that he used his powers in a way I think all Spider-Man projects SHOULD have him use them, but can't because he doesn't know he's Peter Parker. Creating holograms of dragons and the like makes for nice action scenes in the cartoons, but there is little tension involved because they aren't real. Instead Mysterio's greatest power is that he can convince you you are safe with friends and make you willing to spill damaging secrets because you aren't aware the dangerous situation has not passed. Ultimately, it was good to use them that way, not only because it adds real tension and even paranoia, but it's something Peter can learn from, so not only do you understand WHY he beat the villain, but it is seen as a moment of personal growth too. I love that idea.
I found the disgruntled employees' grievances against Tony Stark both completely legitimately and genius in hindsight. He calls a great invention BARF as if it doesn't matter in an earlier movie. It blew by you then because it was just a funny joke, but a real person came up with that invention, and probably felt cr*ppy about Tony publicly calling it that. Humiliated in fact. I specifically like it whenever a character being a jerk is played for laughs in one project, the scene is remembered completely differently by the butt of a joke in a later project or episode. I love it, but it IS darn rare. Usually the audience is simply asked to love and forgive the character's jerkishness with no regrets. I love the idea that the jerkishness has negative consequences for everybody else. That's a good moral. Tony Stark was NOT a nice guy.
Time to talk about Blip fall-out. This movie is a case in point study of something I have always believed, but many fans (and most creators) don't. A lot of creators believe that if there is a loose end left in a movie, or TV show, or book, they can explain it later on their website and no harm, no foul. In other words, they believe it doesn't matter how unsatisfied their viewers are with the material itself, if they can later explain stuff they didn't bother to make clear at the time. I gave a rare negative review to Avengers: Infinity War because of all of the unanswered questions and hanging fates of people we didn't see. And the Russo brothers swore up and down that Aunt May was safe from the Snap. Clearly the producers of this movie thought differently. Which leads me to my personal belief that a creator can b.s. a viewer or reader about what really happened on their website all they want. Until it is on the screen or on the page, it is ALL b.s.. None of those answers count, or are remotely true. It's just the writer's opinion. As a matter of fact, I think doing that boxes the writer in, as seen here. I don't find Ask Greg remotely helpful. Plus, I think it's okay for the viewer to have to decide things for themselves. And if there ARE things the producers want the reader to get and understand about their work, maybe they should bother putting it in the project itself, instead of feeding frustrated viewers b.s. nonsense as if that's an acceptable solution.
The Russo brothers did say something interesting about the Snap that I didn't understand until Endgame. But when asked if Ben was safe or not, the Russos refused to say, which seemed a bit odd to me. You can reveal Howard the Duck's fate but Ben is too important of a character to reveal that about? In hindsight, I get why they didn't want to reveal that Ben had been snapped. Because if he hadn't been, he wouldn't still be classmates with Peter, which would lead people to surmising the big "Five Years Later" plot twist of Endgame. I don't think that if the Russos said Ben was snapped it would count until this specific movie. But it would completely tip off Endgame and the solution out of it.
I liked them exploring how confusing it was to be brought back from the Blip. People appeared in apartments they no longer owned, and now their younger siblings are older than they are. I imagine the Blip was a MUCH bigger disaster outside of Earth, because people in space would be reappearing where their spaceships USED to be, and instantly died in the vacuum. I imagine in the Universe at large, outside of Thanos himself, Tony Stark, Hulk, and Dr. Strange are considered the greatest mass murderers in the history of the entire galaxy. It was a happy ending for our guys. I don't expect that is so on spacefaring planets.
Time to get to the terrible tags. I don't really begrudge them for the cliffhanger (although let us all praise Galactus that the Sony / Marvel deal is back on for at least two more movies) but the thing that bummed me out the most was J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson. He absolutely sucked.
To put this in perspective, in the Raimi trilogy, Simmons was brilliant as Jameson. In fact, he was and remains the ONLY version of the character I ever liked. And I loved him to death. The thing instantly endeared to him was when the Goblin bursts into the Bugle office looking for Peter, Jameson while not knowing he's Spider-Man, protects the fact that he knows where Peter is hiding, unprovoked, with great personal risk to his own life, with no potential reward, for a person he barely knew and didn't like. There was an instant nobility to Jameson absent from every other version. If a Spider-Man continuity runs longs enough, they'll show Jameson is a teddy bear deep down, but the way Raimi did it instantly was absolutely brilliant.
And instead the first impression we get of Jameson here is him outing Spider-Man's secret identity, and framing him for a crime he didn't commit, while calling the guy he stopped a hero. The producers thought I'd squee in glee at Simmons' surprise appearance, but I think Jameson sucks because his buttholery is being established completely out of context. Instead of being happy to see Simmons, I'm annoyed Peter's life has been destroyed by a guy we didn't even know existed. Who does this chump think he is? That's actually a pretty common subtext for most Jamesons. But I loved the Raimi films because Simmons was the one guy we were instantly given the proper context for, so that we could laugh at his antics, instead of being mad at them.
Full disclosure: I have stated elsewhere that Simmons was my personal pick to play the MCU Jameson. He was literally the best thing about the Raimi films, the only good Jameson EVER, and he hadn't aged out of the role. To be clear: This is the unlikely casting I always WANTED and talked about, while other people pooh-poohed me over continuity issues. It says something bad that they cast the one and only guy I wanted in the role, and I still didn't like him.
The second tag is annoying because it's unnecessary. I saw a lot of remarks online of "Oooh, Secret Invasion is coming!" But that's not what the tag showed. The Skrulls in the tag were good guys working for Fury who was relaxing and / or busy elsewhere. If Secret Invasion happens, it won't be because this movie set it up. Like in Captain Marvel, the Skrulls are lovable friendlys. What it does mean is that none of the development between Peter and Fury actually happened. And the biggest thing that I feel cheated out of is that by the end of the movie, for the first time ever, Happy is no longer afraid of Fury. And they don't even allow Happy THAT much because it's not actually him. Basically we got some lousy ambiguous set-up for Phase 4, while diluting a great deal of this movie's impact. I feel far worse for Happy's empowerment completely being false than May Just Not Being That Into Him. Far worse.
But other than that, the movie was aces. I enjoyed everything until the credits started. The movie had a lot of funny scenes, and characters behaving in unexpected way, and lot of great character drama and friendship was built during the crisis of the movie. I am very glad Disney and Sony came to their senses however, because the post-credits stuff would have made it the worst send off Marvel Studios could give to Spidey. ****1/2.
Peter's To-Do List:
I think the sound was a little messed up in the high school scene.
Here is something appalling I realized in hindsight. Spider-Man makes two quips to bad guys in the three minute short. Which is more than he did to any of the bad guys in the movie. I was like "What?" I almost forget that Marvel had been making a concerted effort with Holland to bring back the wisecracks. Because they totally dropped the ball in the actual movie.
I love the convenience store clerk. Great slice of life scene and character. He wants to go on vacation with Peter. That's neat.
Why does a 16 year old Peter Parker have He-Man figures from the 1980's? Yeah, they are standard action figures you sell to dealers. But Peter is far to young to have liked or appreciated that franchise.
The Spider-bot at the DMV actually shows that Peter is a techie, which is another thing that was downplayed in the movie. But unlike the wisecracks, at least it wasn't completely ignored.
I love Peter joking around with the cops at the end. He's doing their job. They should probably put the snitch in a separate cell. These are the kinds of dealings with cops that only Spider-Man deals with. You don't see or here that kind of minutia and humor with any other superhero and the police. Barry Allen is just as goofy of a personality as Peter on the CW TV show, but his Flash is always professional with the police. It's more fun to see that Peter knows he doesn't actually have any authority, and tries to figure out how to bring the thieves to the cops without running afoul of their rights or the law. I like that Peter is a vigilante who is willing to stay until the cops show up just to set everything straight. He cares. Which is endearing.
Fun short. ****.
Deleted And Alternate Scenes:
Some interesting finds but I don't think any were things the movie was worse off for losing. Overall: ***.
Betty Blips:
That was fun and silly, but far too fun and silly when dealing with the Blip. I like that the movie explored some of the neat high-concept aspects of it. But it was in reality a tragedy and not funny. ***.
Bus Rest Stop With Class:
An extended scene of the scary hot woman demanding Peter take off his clothes. We learned what the rest of the class was doing while it was happening. Answer: Nothing very interesting. **1/2.
Beck's Green Juice:
Good callback of Beck saying to never apologize for being the smartest guy in the room. For the record, nothing about Beck's actual demeanor seems sociopathic to me. It's the fact that he doesn't care that all of those people are going to die with says he is one, but Beck emotes like a normal person. I guess that's why they call it acting. ****.
Peter & MJ On Plane And May Sees Glasses:
That was a sweet scene between Peter and MJ. I love the fact that MCU's Aunt May is outright hot. Purists will scoff, but I think most versions of Aunt May are lousy. I love whenever a project gives her an unexpected virtue (like the fact that Ultimate Spider-Man's version was a bad@$$.) ****.
A Film By Flash Thompson's Phone:
I don't like this version of Flash, but it's to the MCU's credit that it's a unique take. This version of Flash is actually awkward. Most versions of Flash make OTHER people feel uncomfortable while he's being clueless, but it's clear this Flash knows that about himself, and hates it, and is embarrassed by it. He's a lot like Michael Scott on The Office except he has redeeming virtues. ***.
Gag Reel & Outtakes:
JB Smoove being shocked Tom isn't from Holland says Smoove was actually wasted in the movie. Ned saying he's a virgin was cut from the final film, and it's not even in the deleted scene. It's so far beyond what the movie was exploring with the coming of age romances that it seemed a little bit too far. ***.
The Flash "The Last Temptation Of Barry Allen"
Grant Gustin done brung it this episode, but I felt there were a couple of superficial problems.
The idea that Barry gave into the infection is a great twist. It also makes perfect sense. For the record, whoever the Speed Force is, she's a bad explainer. I'm not saying she uses the kind of mysterious cliches and speech patterns confounding Star Trek aliens use. It's probably worse. The whole point of the Star Trek mumbo jumbo is to keep the Enterprise from figuring out what's going. The Onlies aren't inclined to help Kirk figure out how to stop them. But the Speed Force is trying to convince Barry to sacrifice his life. Here's an idea: How about not telling him that Ramse was telling the truth about him surviving? Or better yet, after fumbling that football, why not explain the soul losing thing immediately? It's information the Force wants him to have, and isn't hiding it. Why not tell him immediately before the infection spreads further? She needs a Secretary Of Explaining Stuff. Which is another thing that proves that Bill Clinton is never actually around when you really need him.
But I thought Gustin did great. My heart is breaking when he whispers that he doesn't want to die, but what kills me is that he calls that mindset selfish. What's actually selfish is asking him to sacrifice all he is being asked to sacrifice without properly explaining it.
I am 50/50 on whether I want Barry possessed during the Crisis. It would be the obvious way for him to survive, but I also feel Barry himself should be the guy in that crossover. The upcoming clips hint it will be Barry. What I would like to see is for Barry to beat Ramse and the Infection next week, and find a different way to survive based upon what happened with the Infection. The reason I think that would be interesting is that Barry tells Ramse that he is not involved at ALL in any of the billions of deaths Barry witnessing himself being forced to sacrifice himself for. That is suggestive to me. If Ramse does perhaps have a role in the Crisis could it be that the reason Flash never saw him in the other scenarios is because his one in a billion Universe is the secret way Flash actually survives? I am very interested to see how next week shakes out.
I liked and didn't like the Iris stuff with Allegra. Allegra is pretty much fed up with her boss at the beginning of the episode, but when she learns what Iris has looming over her, and STILL seems completely vested in finding her sister, she starts to dig her loyalty and dedication. Until she realizes it's TOO altruistic. The real reason Iris is busy solving unrelated Scooby Doo mysteries is because she does not want to have to write the obituary her life has been building towards. And I like that Allegra figured that out on her own, and even helped Iris deal a little.
The thing I didn't like is that Barry is in a life-threatening emergency. Iris should be by his side no matter what, especially if they have less than two days left together. The show should not be giving her a B plot to showcase the newer characters. This is not the episode for that. It mundane, a little ridiculous and appalling, and totally besides the point. The Charlie's Angels spin-off pilot should have been done elsewhere.
Do you know what I loved? Everybody's face dripping black oil after eating the Bloody Ichor Pie. That was some real horrowshow stuff right there. And it's terrifying without being gory, which is a rare and neat trick.
This could lead somewhere interesting next week. ****.
Arrow "Reset"
I enjoyed the episode immensely. I suspected my enjoyment would be fleeting, and that if I saw the episode a second time the logic wouldn't hold up. Why are Dig and Lyla being so unhelpful? It must be a mindgame. Except it's Groundhog Day. And yet none of the variables change when Oliver and Laurel make very different choices, running counter to the chaos theory present in the scenario. So it's JUST a headgame? But wait, if it is, why is Quentin being completely helpful, and for the first time ever? This is a rare kind of sci-fi mystery in which a high-concept lies beneath the mystery, but each theory you come up with during the episode gets disproven 2 minutes later, until you have no idea what's going on. My favorite use of this trope was on the criminally underrated Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. The episode "Things Past" got so crazy and unsolvable, with no apparent solution that I was impressed that they actually came up with something insane and yet believable enough to explain everything. This episode being a test isn't that level of creative, but it helps fill in one of the huge holes of the season. The Monitor asking Laurel to betray Oliver was ridiculous. Unless it's a part of her test and he doesn't actually want her to do it. So I think like Things Past, I probably won't be able to detect a lot of things wrong with it if I rewatch it a couple of times.
The random spilled drink is the biggest hint it's Groundhog Day. Something that random and inconsequential on television only happens during time loops.
Time to talk about the elephant in the room: Paul Blackthorne. I'm glad they gave him this, because I felt his death at the end of season five was tacked on, because his decision to leave was last minute. So I'm glad they gave him a few good death scenes here. Here is something people who watch the show may not realize. But last season the internet exploded in outrage over the fact that Emily Bett Rickards left the show in the lurch in the last shortened season. The show would not be (and is not) the same with Felicity Smoak. How dare she? But the show has already been less than it should be before Felicity left. Paul Blackthorne was not only the show's MVP and secret weapon, who brought the pathos to every performance. But his building trust and friendship and eventually love and respect with Oliver Queen was the actual heart of the show. When Quentin bursts into the Arrowcave in season 3 and says, "I've got you now you son of a b-word" that was the high point of the show, and the actual reason it was worth watching. You can talk about superhero crossovers and streetfights all you want, but for me the entire show was Oliver and Quentin. They were the reason the show was worth watching in the first place. As much as I love Felicity, she was pretty much just the gravy on top of that. Once Blackthorne left, the series lost it's entire hook, and reason for being in my mind. No Felicity is bound to anger the fans more. But no Quentin actually hurt the show.
I love Quentin saying that he's done doubting Oliver and that always leads to disaster. It's not exactly growth because it's not exactly him but I appreciated it anyways.
I loved it as I watched it, and I suspect I'll love it when I see it again. That's the best you can hope for for the crazy unsolvable sci-fi mystery episode. *****.
Spider-Man: Far From Home
This is going to be a very long review, which is usually a bad sign. I tend to reserve those for things I dislike and am picking apart. Thankfully, I'll be mostly reporting good news here, but the review is probably going to be a bit of a bear and may be all over the map.
I liked, nay, LOVED everything in the movie until the tags. Both tags cut a giant fart in the room and then walked out. I was enjoying that silly Vacation end credits montage and then those bummed me out. A cliffhanger is also the wrong place to leave off an Epilogue, so I have many reasons to resent both. I disliked them so much I considered knocking off an entire star from this near perfect movie for less than five minutes of material. In the end, I'm only taking off a half star. I liked the rest of the movie that much.
Why does DC make it SO hard? Why is making an enjoyable superhero movie like pulling teeth for that company? I think I like and appreciate Tom Holland more than I ever did since they decided to ship him full-stop with MJ in this movie, and I get what makes his Peter different from Toby Maguire and Andrew Garfield. Holland is the cute Spider-Man. The one whose cheeks you want to pinch. Nothing says that more than the tentative and downright chaste kiss he and MJ are rewarded with after everything at the end of the movie. What I love about the Disney Channel vibe of that kiss is that Brad mistakes Peter with his pants down as something else. Sex clearly exists for some of the teenagers in the movie. And yet that's not where Peter and MJ are. They are nowhere NEAR it, and it's cute and refreshing, and it allows them to be kids and us to not feel bad about it.
Holland as Peter reminds me very much of Michael Cera as George Michael on Arrested Development. And yes, MJ is Maeby, except the ship doesn't make me want to throw up in my mouth a little. And if it did, at least Ben has a mint for that.
I suppose I should talk about some of the themes I noticed in the film. I suspect what a LOT of people will get from the movie is "Don't believe everything you see on TV". People can fool you. I didn't personally get that because Mysterio never fooled me. We'll talk about how Mysterio succeeded and failed in the movie later, but the thing I loved about the movie is the moral that people will surprise you. You can't predict what somebody is going to say or do next. And if you could, you might make different choices.
I think the biggest example of that is the fact that Peter is running around in the first half of the movie with MJ getting into the kinds of misunderstandings common on Three's Company. Peter is upset because Fury has thrust him into a below average sitcom. And finally when it's five minutes left until the credits, and he can tell the girl he likes her, she says she expected him to reveal he was Spider-Man.
That was a great curveball that the movie didn't need to do, but was great for doing. Peter has this idolized version of his first date with MJ going a certain way, and the instant she does that, he immediately lies to her. And you can tell by the look on his face he hates doing it for the precise reason he didn't expect he'd have to do it, especially not during his One Bright And Shining Moment. The revelation made him do something reflexively that got them off on the wrong foot. And it becomes such a huge embarrassment, she lies that her Spider-Man obsession is the only reason she was checking him out. That was my favorite thing in the movie. Do you know what my absolute favorite thing about it is? It's not too far. They can both come back from it, and pretty easily. This does not become the huge dramatic mess another franchise would turn it into in the name of melodrama. They're just kids working things out. And I like that.
MJ was so great this movie. She's obsessed with the word Bo and now that's all she's about. That was so funny. My favorite MJ moment came after the Spider-Man reveal, and the thing I loved about it is that Peter is playing checkers in their relationship, and Brad maybe has graduated to Candy Land, but MJ is freaking playing Go. And she's killing it. Brad does that whole thing about how terrible Peter is and talks about catching him with a girl in the bathroom with his pants and taking a picture. MJ doesn't have the whole story (or any of it) but knowing he's Spider-Man means there is almost certainly a good explanation for it. And instead of defending Peter's mysteriousness, she correctly points out it's weird to be taking pictures of dudes in the bathroom no matter what they're doing. Brad expected to drive a wedge between MJ and Peter by portraying Peter as a philanderer. But MJ is smarter than both boys, and deflects suspicion off Peter by again doing something Brad didn't expect.
The other moment I loved of characters acting in an unexpected way was the way Happy proved it was him. Instead of Three's Company, Peter now thinks he's in Star Trek, and Happy is going to say something touching and amazing that only Happy would say to Peter when it really counted. Instead, Happy talks about the adult movie Peter tried to pretend he didn't watch, and instead of feeding into his fairytale notions about what Happy should be, instead tells him something that ONLY Happy would actually know. It was such an unexpected and funny moment when Happy and Peter are having difficult enough problems establishing boundaries because of May. It was great.
Time to talk about Mysterio. I liked part of him, and I disliked part of him. Obviously the movie didn't fool Spider-Man fans of the comics or the cartoons. And I DO get that the movie needed a "Don't believe everything you see" subtext for someone like Mysterio. It's just that even if they created a new character out of whole cloth, and gave him the exact same role, as a mystery, it would still suck. It's obvious he's dirty from the beginning. He's far too noble, and perfect, and kind. There is no better metaphor for the fact that he can't be trusted than the fact that the glasses fit him perfectly. If he was less perfect, and had visible flaws, I'd have an easier time buying it. As someone who watched the cartoon when I was a teenager, I know Mysterio was a secret villain, but I object to it because I would have figured it out even if I didn't know that. That's the bad part of Mysterio.
The good part is that he used his powers in a way I think all Spider-Man projects SHOULD have him use them, but can't because he doesn't know he's Peter Parker. Creating holograms of dragons and the like makes for nice action scenes in the cartoons, but there is little tension involved because they aren't real. Instead Mysterio's greatest power is that he can convince you you are safe with friends and make you willing to spill damaging secrets because you aren't aware the dangerous situation has not passed. Ultimately, it was good to use them that way, not only because it adds real tension and even paranoia, but it's something Peter can learn from, so not only do you understand WHY he beat the villain, but it is seen as a moment of personal growth too. I love that idea.
I found the disgruntled employees' grievances against Tony Stark both completely legitimately and genius in hindsight. He calls a great invention BARF as if it doesn't matter in an earlier movie. It blew by you then because it was just a funny joke, but a real person came up with that invention, and probably felt cr*ppy about Tony publicly calling it that. Humiliated in fact. I specifically like it whenever a character being a jerk is played for laughs in one project, the scene is remembered completely differently by the butt of a joke in a later project or episode. I love it, but it IS darn rare. Usually the audience is simply asked to love and forgive the character's jerkishness with no regrets. I love the idea that the jerkishness has negative consequences for everybody else. That's a good moral. Tony Stark was NOT a nice guy.
Time to talk about Blip fall-out. This movie is a case in point study of something I have always believed, but many fans (and most creators) don't. A lot of creators believe that if there is a loose end left in a movie, or TV show, or book, they can explain it later on their website and no harm, no foul. In other words, they believe it doesn't matter how unsatisfied their viewers are with the material itself, if they can later explain stuff they didn't bother to make clear at the time. I gave a rare negative review to Avengers: Infinity War because of all of the unanswered questions and hanging fates of people we didn't see. And the Russo brothers swore up and down that Aunt May was safe from the Snap. Clearly the producers of this movie thought differently. Which leads me to my personal belief that a creator can b.s. a viewer or reader about what really happened on their website all they want. Until it is on the screen or on the page, it is ALL b.s.. None of those answers count, or are remotely true. It's just the writer's opinion. As a matter of fact, I think doing that boxes the writer in, as seen here. I don't find Ask Greg remotely helpful. Plus, I think it's okay for the viewer to have to decide things for themselves. And if there ARE things the producers want the reader to get and understand about their work, maybe they should bother putting it in the project itself, instead of feeding frustrated viewers b.s. nonsense as if that's an acceptable solution.
The Russo brothers did say something interesting about the Snap that I didn't understand until Endgame. But when asked if Ben was safe or not, the Russos refused to say, which seemed a bit odd to me. You can reveal Howard the Duck's fate but Ben is too important of a character to reveal that about? In hindsight, I get why they didn't want to reveal that Ben had been snapped. Because if he hadn't been, he wouldn't still be classmates with Peter, which would lead people to surmising the big "Five Years Later" plot twist of Endgame. I don't think that if the Russos said Ben was snapped it would count until this specific movie. But it would completely tip off Endgame and the solution out of it.
I liked them exploring how confusing it was to be brought back from the Blip. People appeared in apartments they no longer owned, and now their younger siblings are older than they are. I imagine the Blip was a MUCH bigger disaster outside of Earth, because people in space would be reappearing where their spaceships USED to be, and instantly died in the vacuum. I imagine in the Universe at large, outside of Thanos himself, Tony Stark, Hulk, and Dr. Strange are considered the greatest mass murderers in the history of the entire galaxy. It was a happy ending for our guys. I don't expect that is so on spacefaring planets.
Time to get to the terrible tags. I don't really begrudge them for the cliffhanger (although let us all praise Galactus that the Sony / Marvel deal is back on for at least two more movies) but the thing that bummed me out the most was J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson. He absolutely sucked.
To put this in perspective, in the Raimi trilogy, Simmons was brilliant as Jameson. In fact, he was and remains the ONLY version of the character I ever liked. And I loved him to death. The thing instantly endeared to him was when the Goblin bursts into the Bugle office looking for Peter, Jameson while not knowing he's Spider-Man, protects the fact that he knows where Peter is hiding, unprovoked, with great personal risk to his own life, with no potential reward, for a person he barely knew and didn't like. There was an instant nobility to Jameson absent from every other version. If a Spider-Man continuity runs longs enough, they'll show Jameson is a teddy bear deep down, but the way Raimi did it instantly was absolutely brilliant.
And instead the first impression we get of Jameson here is him outing Spider-Man's secret identity, and framing him for a crime he didn't commit, while calling the guy he stopped a hero. The producers thought I'd squee in glee at Simmons' surprise appearance, but I think Jameson sucks because his buttholery is being established completely out of context. Instead of being happy to see Simmons, I'm annoyed Peter's life has been destroyed by a guy we didn't even know existed. Who does this chump think he is? That's actually a pretty common subtext for most Jamesons. But I loved the Raimi films because Simmons was the one guy we were instantly given the proper context for, so that we could laugh at his antics, instead of being mad at them.
Full disclosure: I have stated elsewhere that Simmons was my personal pick to play the MCU Jameson. He was literally the best thing about the Raimi films, the only good Jameson EVER, and he hadn't aged out of the role. To be clear: This is the unlikely casting I always WANTED and talked about, while other people pooh-poohed me over continuity issues. It says something bad that they cast the one and only guy I wanted in the role, and I still didn't like him.
The second tag is annoying because it's unnecessary. I saw a lot of remarks online of "Oooh, Secret Invasion is coming!" But that's not what the tag showed. The Skrulls in the tag were good guys working for Fury who was relaxing and / or busy elsewhere. If Secret Invasion happens, it won't be because this movie set it up. Like in Captain Marvel, the Skrulls are lovable friendlys. What it does mean is that none of the development between Peter and Fury actually happened. And the biggest thing that I feel cheated out of is that by the end of the movie, for the first time ever, Happy is no longer afraid of Fury. And they don't even allow Happy THAT much because it's not actually him. Basically we got some lousy ambiguous set-up for Phase 4, while diluting a great deal of this movie's impact. I feel far worse for Happy's empowerment completely being false than May Just Not Being That Into Him. Far worse.
But other than that, the movie was aces. I enjoyed everything until the credits started. The movie had a lot of funny scenes, and characters behaving in unexpected way, and lot of great character drama and friendship was built during the crisis of the movie. I am very glad Disney and Sony came to their senses however, because the post-credits stuff would have made it the worst send off Marvel Studios could give to Spidey. ****1/2.
Peter's To-Do List:
I think the sound was a little messed up in the high school scene.
Here is something appalling I realized in hindsight. Spider-Man makes two quips to bad guys in the three minute short. Which is more than he did to any of the bad guys in the movie. I was like "What?" I almost forget that Marvel had been making a concerted effort with Holland to bring back the wisecracks. Because they totally dropped the ball in the actual movie.
I love the convenience store clerk. Great slice of life scene and character. He wants to go on vacation with Peter. That's neat.
Why does a 16 year old Peter Parker have He-Man figures from the 1980's? Yeah, they are standard action figures you sell to dealers. But Peter is far to young to have liked or appreciated that franchise.
The Spider-bot at the DMV actually shows that Peter is a techie, which is another thing that was downplayed in the movie. But unlike the wisecracks, at least it wasn't completely ignored.
I love Peter joking around with the cops at the end. He's doing their job. They should probably put the snitch in a separate cell. These are the kinds of dealings with cops that only Spider-Man deals with. You don't see or here that kind of minutia and humor with any other superhero and the police. Barry Allen is just as goofy of a personality as Peter on the CW TV show, but his Flash is always professional with the police. It's more fun to see that Peter knows he doesn't actually have any authority, and tries to figure out how to bring the thieves to the cops without running afoul of their rights or the law. I like that Peter is a vigilante who is willing to stay until the cops show up just to set everything straight. He cares. Which is endearing.
Fun short. ****.
Deleted And Alternate Scenes:
Some interesting finds but I don't think any were things the movie was worse off for losing. Overall: ***.
Betty Blips:
That was fun and silly, but far too fun and silly when dealing with the Blip. I like that the movie explored some of the neat high-concept aspects of it. But it was in reality a tragedy and not funny. ***.
Bus Rest Stop With Class:
An extended scene of the scary hot woman demanding Peter take off his clothes. We learned what the rest of the class was doing while it was happening. Answer: Nothing very interesting. **1/2.
Beck's Green Juice:
Good callback of Beck saying to never apologize for being the smartest guy in the room. For the record, nothing about Beck's actual demeanor seems sociopathic to me. It's the fact that he doesn't care that all of those people are going to die with says he is one, but Beck emotes like a normal person. I guess that's why they call it acting. ****.
Peter & MJ On Plane And May Sees Glasses:
That was a sweet scene between Peter and MJ. I love the fact that MCU's Aunt May is outright hot. Purists will scoff, but I think most versions of Aunt May are lousy. I love whenever a project gives her an unexpected virtue (like the fact that Ultimate Spider-Man's version was a bad@$$.) ****.
A Film By Flash Thompson's Phone:
I don't like this version of Flash, but it's to the MCU's credit that it's a unique take. This version of Flash is actually awkward. Most versions of Flash make OTHER people feel uncomfortable while he's being clueless, but it's clear this Flash knows that about himself, and hates it, and is embarrassed by it. He's a lot like Michael Scott on The Office except he has redeeming virtues. ***.
Gag Reel & Outtakes:
JB Smoove being shocked Tom isn't from Holland says Smoove was actually wasted in the movie. Ned saying he's a virgin was cut from the final film, and it's not even in the deleted scene. It's so far beyond what the movie was exploring with the coming of age romances that it seemed a little bit too far. ***.
The Flash "The Last Temptation Of Barry Allen"
Grant Gustin done brung it this episode, but I felt there were a couple of superficial problems.
The idea that Barry gave into the infection is a great twist. It also makes perfect sense. For the record, whoever the Speed Force is, she's a bad explainer. I'm not saying she uses the kind of mysterious cliches and speech patterns confounding Star Trek aliens use. It's probably worse. The whole point of the Star Trek mumbo jumbo is to keep the Enterprise from figuring out what's going. The Onlies aren't inclined to help Kirk figure out how to stop them. But the Speed Force is trying to convince Barry to sacrifice his life. Here's an idea: How about not telling him that Ramse was telling the truth about him surviving? Or better yet, after fumbling that football, why not explain the soul losing thing immediately? It's information the Force wants him to have, and isn't hiding it. Why not tell him immediately before the infection spreads further? She needs a Secretary Of Explaining Stuff. Which is another thing that proves that Bill Clinton is never actually around when you really need him.
But I thought Gustin did great. My heart is breaking when he whispers that he doesn't want to die, but what kills me is that he calls that mindset selfish. What's actually selfish is asking him to sacrifice all he is being asked to sacrifice without properly explaining it.
I am 50/50 on whether I want Barry possessed during the Crisis. It would be the obvious way for him to survive, but I also feel Barry himself should be the guy in that crossover. The upcoming clips hint it will be Barry. What I would like to see is for Barry to beat Ramse and the Infection next week, and find a different way to survive based upon what happened with the Infection. The reason I think that would be interesting is that Barry tells Ramse that he is not involved at ALL in any of the billions of deaths Barry witnessing himself being forced to sacrifice himself for. That is suggestive to me. If Ramse does perhaps have a role in the Crisis could it be that the reason Flash never saw him in the other scenarios is because his one in a billion Universe is the secret way Flash actually survives? I am very interested to see how next week shakes out.
I liked and didn't like the Iris stuff with Allegra. Allegra is pretty much fed up with her boss at the beginning of the episode, but when she learns what Iris has looming over her, and STILL seems completely vested in finding her sister, she starts to dig her loyalty and dedication. Until she realizes it's TOO altruistic. The real reason Iris is busy solving unrelated Scooby Doo mysteries is because she does not want to have to write the obituary her life has been building towards. And I like that Allegra figured that out on her own, and even helped Iris deal a little.
The thing I didn't like is that Barry is in a life-threatening emergency. Iris should be by his side no matter what, especially if they have less than two days left together. The show should not be giving her a B plot to showcase the newer characters. This is not the episode for that. It mundane, a little ridiculous and appalling, and totally besides the point. The Charlie's Angels spin-off pilot should have been done elsewhere.
Do you know what I loved? Everybody's face dripping black oil after eating the Bloody Ichor Pie. That was some real horrowshow stuff right there. And it's terrifying without being gory, which is a rare and neat trick.
This could lead somewhere interesting next week. ****.
Arrow "Reset"
I enjoyed the episode immensely. I suspected my enjoyment would be fleeting, and that if I saw the episode a second time the logic wouldn't hold up. Why are Dig and Lyla being so unhelpful? It must be a mindgame. Except it's Groundhog Day. And yet none of the variables change when Oliver and Laurel make very different choices, running counter to the chaos theory present in the scenario. So it's JUST a headgame? But wait, if it is, why is Quentin being completely helpful, and for the first time ever? This is a rare kind of sci-fi mystery in which a high-concept lies beneath the mystery, but each theory you come up with during the episode gets disproven 2 minutes later, until you have no idea what's going on. My favorite use of this trope was on the criminally underrated Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. The episode "Things Past" got so crazy and unsolvable, with no apparent solution that I was impressed that they actually came up with something insane and yet believable enough to explain everything. This episode being a test isn't that level of creative, but it helps fill in one of the huge holes of the season. The Monitor asking Laurel to betray Oliver was ridiculous. Unless it's a part of her test and he doesn't actually want her to do it. So I think like Things Past, I probably won't be able to detect a lot of things wrong with it if I rewatch it a couple of times.
The random spilled drink is the biggest hint it's Groundhog Day. Something that random and inconsequential on television only happens during time loops.
Time to talk about the elephant in the room: Paul Blackthorne. I'm glad they gave him this, because I felt his death at the end of season five was tacked on, because his decision to leave was last minute. So I'm glad they gave him a few good death scenes here. Here is something people who watch the show may not realize. But last season the internet exploded in outrage over the fact that Emily Bett Rickards left the show in the lurch in the last shortened season. The show would not be (and is not) the same with Felicity Smoak. How dare she? But the show has already been less than it should be before Felicity left. Paul Blackthorne was not only the show's MVP and secret weapon, who brought the pathos to every performance. But his building trust and friendship and eventually love and respect with Oliver Queen was the actual heart of the show. When Quentin bursts into the Arrowcave in season 3 and says, "I've got you now you son of a b-word" that was the high point of the show, and the actual reason it was worth watching. You can talk about superhero crossovers and streetfights all you want, but for me the entire show was Oliver and Quentin. They were the reason the show was worth watching in the first place. As much as I love Felicity, she was pretty much just the gravy on top of that. Once Blackthorne left, the series lost it's entire hook, and reason for being in my mind. No Felicity is bound to anger the fans more. But no Quentin actually hurt the show.
I love Quentin saying that he's done doubting Oliver and that always leads to disaster. It's not exactly growth because it's not exactly him but I appreciated it anyways.
I loved it as I watched it, and I suspect I'll love it when I see it again. That's the best you can hope for for the crazy unsolvable sci-fi mystery episode. *****.
