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matt_zimmerAlso reviews for the latest episodes of Justice League Action, Teen Titans Go!, DC Super Hero Girls, Supergirl, The Flash, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow, Powerless, Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D., Legion, Star Wars Rebels, The Lion Guard, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Simpsons, Sleepy Hollow, Grimm, Bob's Burgers, Son Of Zorn, Family Guy, Emerald City, Colony, and The Blacklist, the series premiere of The Blacklist Redemption, and the latest episodes of Blindspot.
Upcoming reviews include Doctor Who: Series 9, The X-Files: Season 10, Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), Captain America: Civil War (Blu-Ray), Daredevil: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Deadpool, X-Men: Apocalypse (Blu-Ray), The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes! Season 1, The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes! Season 2, The Lion Guard: Return Of The Roar (DVD), Zootopia, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), The Good Dinosaur (Blu-Ray), Finding Dory (Blu-Ray), Once Upon A Time: Season 5, The BFG, Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Blu-Ray), Star Wars Rebels: Season 2, Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales, Lego Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures: Season One, Jim Henson's Turkey Hollow (DVD), Justice League Vs. Teen Titans, Batman: The Killing Joke, Teen Titans Go!: Get In Pig Out, Suicide Squad (Blu-Ray), The Flash: Season 2, Arrow: Season 4, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow: Season 1, Supergirl: Season 1, Gotham: Season 2, iZombie: Season 1, iZombie: Season 2, Lucifer: Season 1, Be Cool Scooby Doo!: Spooky Kooky Fun!, Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Prod.: Hare-Raising Tales, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Beyond The Known Universe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Earth's Last Stand, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Half-Shell Heroes: Blast To The Past, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Powr Rangers: Megaforce: The Complete Season, Power Rangers: Super Megaforce: The Complete Season, Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Season 1, Heroes Reborn: The Complete Series, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, The Legend Of Korra: The Complete Series, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Haven: The Final Season, Under The Dome: Season 3, Quantum Leap: Season 1, Quantum Leap: Season 2, Quantum Leap: Season 3, Quantum Leap: Season 4, Quantum Leap: Season 5, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Sleepy Hollow: Season 3, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 3, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Shaun The Sheep: The Farmer's Llamas, 12 Monkeys: Season 1, 12 Monkeys: Season 2, Grimm: Season 4, Grimm: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 6, The Peanuts Movie, Peanuts By Schulz: Snoopy Tales, Bob's Burgers: Season 5, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay: Part 2, Ghostbusters: Answer: The Call, Community: Season 6, Hannibal: Season 1, Hannibal: Season 2, Hannibal: Season 3, Preacher: Season One, Degrassi Junior High: The Complete Series, Degrassi High: The Complete Series, Danger Mouse: The Complete Series, Game Of Thrones: Season 5, and Game of Thrones: Season 6.
Justice League Action "Time Share"
Love the BTAS tributes, particular the Elfman theme, the zeppelins, and the "Dark Deco" animation style. But this episode says something very interesting about Kevin Conroy's early Batman performances that many fans refuse to admit. The whole "I am vengeance. I am the night. I am Batman!" thing is super tacky. The line landed with a thud in the episode it occurred in due to the crummy animation, (Nothing to Fear) but even when Cartoon Network jazzed it up by combining with the lightning sky outline from the theme song, it is still a groaner. Batman: The Animated Series was not a perfect show, but it WAS a good one (usually). That whole thing being one of the most famous things about it makes it seem worse than it actually was. ****.
Teen Titans Go! "BBRAE: PT 1"
Not much to say about PT 1, except to say I am amused the Mama Bear is carrying a purse. ***.
Teen Titans Go! "BBRAE: PT 2"
Was that Kitten chasing Speedy?
I have to say I like Beast Boy's second song much better than the first anyways. ***.
DC Super Hero Girls "Tales From The Krytomites, Part 1"
Those Krytomites were SO cute! I want a plushie of them!
Why does Supergirl need a defense missile? And how defensive can a missile actually be?
I liked it. ***1/2.
Supergirl "Mr. And Mrs. Mxyzptlk"
I love that robber saying "Thank you, Supergirl!" before she clocks him. He is very lucky heroes are nicer to their enemies than villains are.
Do you know what Kara should have done when she sent away a dejected Mon-El because she could handle Mxy herself? She should have winked at him to let him know it was a ploy. Instead Mon-El feels like dirt for a great deal of the episode.
I think if Alex is bad at the not being selfish in relationships thing, Maggie shows she's worse. She's spouting all of these opinions about Valentines Day as if she expects Alex to automatically agree. Valentines Day is between TWO people, and you'd think Maggie would at least talk it out to truly see where Alex's headspace is on the matter. Instead, she's pretty much setting up a hierarchy in their relationship and putting herself on top. That sucks.
And yeah, Maggie has a sob story about Valentines' Day. Many people do. Not all of those people make the entire day about themselves.
I love that right before she defeats Mxy, Kara is drinking orange juice. I was beyond disappointed she didn't say "I love orange juice!" upon Mxy sharing that weakness, but she at least absorbed the idea anyways.
Some of it was all right, but it wasn't all there. ***.
The Flash "Attack On Gorilla City"
There's a season's budget.
How is it? Truthfully? It's everything I wanted, and yet everything I feared. We were hoping beyond hope for legit mega monkey smackdowns upon seeing that empty cage in the Pilot. But the problem is that you might want to be careful what you wish for.
Look at the scene in the arena of Flash yelling that humans are good and reject violence and are no threat to the gorillas. Possibly the worst bit of acting Grant Gustin has ever done, and the worst written scene on the show so far. But it's also necessary for the premise to work. That's the trade-off for mega monkey smackdowns. You get the cool smackdowns but you also have terrible writing and acting to try and justify it. There IS no justification. But I can't seriously expect the show not to try. So we have that instead.
I liked Julian's reactions to learning about parallel Earths and Gorilla City. Because he's excited and amused. Which is the proper response. One of Julian's biggest problems is that he never has the proper human response to any of the nonsense. That was him having it for that one time.
I love how immediately annoyed Harry is with HR, and asking why he's still there, and I also loved that later HR gleefully says that Jessie deciding to stay on Earth 1 was really gonna p*ss him off. Because it will.
For the record, I hate and reject recaps. I ever have my own TV show, I will refuse to use them. Why? Gypsy's appearance at the end would have been a genuine surprise had the recap not totally tipped us off at the beginning that she was coming. Recaps may make things easier for the less involved viewers. But they make things less awesome and surprising for the viewers who actually care about the show.
Great and terrible at the same time. Which is all I ever wanted for Christmas. ****.
DC's Legends Of Tomorrow "Camelot / 3000"
Great episode title.
Ugh. That stuff about Ray always wanting to be a knight was seriously badly written. How can any writer in 2017 think that is acceptable, much less do it every dang week? How many childhood heroes can a manchild like Ray believably have?
I liked the moment at the end where he showed off the Atom suit under the armor though. Totally Doc Brown and the bulletproof vest at the end of Back To The Future.
When they talked about Merlin appearing, I braced for Malcolm, but Stargirl was a true curveball. And not really a good one. Because Merlin IS a significant part of DC Comics mythology, and this means the Arrowverse doesn't get to have Etrigan. Constantine has also referenced King Arthur once or twice, but it's hard to take that show treating the material with respect in a continuity where Sarah Lance is actually Lance-a-lot. This episode caused more headaches for the Arrowverse than it needed. And don't get me started on the origin of Malcolm's name in the League of Assassins.
Not great. **1/2.
Arrow "Spectre Of The Gun"
Yeah, I don't believe in a middle ground in gun control. I personally think all guns should be illegal in the U.S.. We'd solve so many problems immediately. I seem to be one of the few people who thinks this way, but I don't have to agree with everything in the Constitution. It was created by imperfect people, and I think the current interpretation of the second amendment is not something the Founding Fathers foresaw, or even possibly could have foreseen. Guns used to be used to hunt. Now they are merely metal penis extenders.
But yeah, I guess I just have to accept that gun nuts have the right to own as many killing machines as they like. Mass shootings and homegrown terrorist attacks are simply the price the rest of us have to pay for them to enjoy that right.
That's my soapbox, and I doubt anyone will agree with me. But here's an interesting question: Why doesn't Oliver Queen voice a more forceful opinion? Why are the producers afraid of making him the liberal firebrand he is in the comics? The episode tries to say that society refusing to argue politics in polite company anymore because it is too divisive is wrong. But isn't refusing to write the Green Arrow as he has been historically portrayed in the comics exactly as gutless? I'd appreciate the moral of being willing to take a stand more if the writers actually were.
I love that they gave Quentin the liberal opinion about guns. He is not a liberal-seeming character by any stretch of the imagination, but considering what guns have cost him, I don't imagine him thinking any differently either.
For the record, this is not the most violent or mature episode of Arrow by a longshot. It's probably not even in the top twenty. But I get the viewer discretion warning completely. Because even if Arrow has been gorier, more violent, and more inappropriate, it hasn't really been more upsetting. It genuinely upsets me to watch mass shootings portrayed in fiction. I never would have started watching American Horror Story if I had known that coming. What I appreciate about this episode, is that even if the politics are murky, they at least take the violence that occurred seriously. And Arrow doesn't always do that. The Flash and Supergirl are shows more concerned with the innocent bystanders. So even if this is the toughest episode for me to watch, it isn't actually a bad episode or something I am going to give a negative review to. ****.
Arrow "The Sin-Eater"
I love that Oliver makes sure to run by the idea of calling Dinah Black Canary by Quentin first. And Quentin personally gives her his blessing too.
I don't blame Prometheus' mother for not wanting to help, especially considering who the person asking for help actually was.
I am very interested that the reason Warner decided to become a criminal again is because Quentin worked for Damian Darhk. Another unforeseen side effect of Quentin doing something that stupid. Thea is absolutely wrong that Quentin holds no responsibility here. And after the trick she pull with Susan, I think Quentin is overstating her wisdom too.
I love Oliver pretty much telling Thea her denials about her goals in doing that were b.s.. She knew exactly what she was doing. When Oliver looks her in the eyes and says "What kind of person does that?" I punched the air. Because Thea has pretty much been a sociopath since the very first episode, and Oliver always, ALWAYS made excuses for her. Him saying that is him seeing her as she actually is for the first time.
Boy, remember how much Moira sucked? I sure do.
Like Curtis' tacky new costume.
Were I Oliver, I would have told the Police Chief I was the Green Arrow. Maybe that should have been an absolute last resort, but I'm betting it would have settled it easier. Frankly, I don't know what Pike didn't get that was Oliver at the end of the episode. It was kind of obvious.
Average week. ***1/2.
Powerless "Sinking Day"
A lotta fun.
I was wondering who the skeleton who walked off the elevator was, until I realized it was Corbin Bernsen. The ravages of time are cruel and confusing.
I totally see Brendan Fraser being Atlantis' version of Jerry Lewis and France. I suspect Chris Hemsworth is big there too, for very similar reasons. I love the idea that William H. Macy is from there too.
I sort of get Van Wayne now. He's like Michael Scott, if Scott's Tots occurred every week, and could potentially get people killed.
Is The Olympian from the comics? Because he should be. Best way to check if someone's a superhero ever.
I love the theory that Bruce Wayne is Flash. I mean, savvy people will probably theorize that Bruce Wayne is Batman, but I'm kind of now realizing that just because he has all of the characteristics of somebody who leads a secret life, it doesn't mean that Batman is the only person he could be. I'm amazed I've never heard a superhero joke like that before.
I liked this a lot. ****.
Powerless "Emily Dates A Henchman"
Major is a henchman? Okay.
Riddler Henchmen all look like they belong on a Japanese game show.
Not a lotta white guys named Reggie. Good observation.
The Riddler riddles his henchmen? I have to imagine interoffice memos at his lair must be a nightmare.
Average. **1/2.
Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. "Self Control"
Holy. CRAP! Best episode of the season! Easily! But we have to wait until April to find out what the deal with Hydra is?! Is Ward coming back?! Worst hiatus choice point ever!
I freaking loved the scene where Simmons is stabbing RoboFitz to death as he begs her to stop. Super disturbing, as was Daisy hiding amongst the RoboDaisys while RoboMack is trying to find her.
Seeing how badly Daisy punked RoboMack makes me wonder why she didn't use her Quake powers to start with on RoboMace.
I have to admit the scenario in which Simmons tested to see if Fitz was a robot was brilliant. Because her asking him to do that played equally well as if she was the robot. You just didn't know until he stabbed her. Very surprising and clever idea. I've complained about Mutant Enemy being out of tricks. Jed Whedon just found a new one.
I saw Radcliffe's fate coming a mile away. I pray he was being sincere about not caring what happens to his body. Because he was begging for Aida to kill him after that particular speech.
Bad things? I realize I do not ship Coulson and May. At all. If the real life versions are going to be anywhere NEAR as emo as their roboversions that is one sunk ship. Sigh.
Everything else was awesome. *****.
Legion "Chapter 2"
I get this show now. It's an independent art film with superpowers.
The Angriest Boy book scared me to death. Was that really Xavier? If not, why couldn't we see his face?
I'm officially a little bit freaked out now. I liked last week, but I loved this one. ****1/2.
Legion "Chapter 3"
Mostly boring, although it got scary at the end. I really liked two things.
1. The Angriest Boy cut-out.
2. Sydney hugging the child version of David. You could tell how much it meant to her.
Not much happened this week. But hey, David Selby. ***.
Star Wars Rebels "Legacy Of Mandalore"
You know what this was? Galactic Senate hearings in Phantom Menace. And like Episode I, a big action scene at the end cannot disguise how boring the rest of the episode was. *.
The Lion Guard "Ono's Idol"
Simba is dumb. How can he extoll Hadithi for being a hero who looks out for others first 30 seconds after he sings a musical number called "It's All About Me"?
Oh, and for the record, Bunga is still the most annoying character on the show.
I like where Ono ended up at the end of the episode, and I like that the Hyenas were actually happy they were beaten by a legend. And I especially liked that one of Janja's crew basically quoted Homer Simpson's funniest line ("It's funny because it's true").
This ain't great, but the show has done much worse. ***.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Requiem"
Derivative. We've been through this exact same scenario before, and I didn't like it any more this time.
But this proves once and for all how much Shredder sucks. Casey's "Oops" was great. I'm upset the end bought it back. That would have been the best first murder for Casey ever.
This show is starting to get long in the tooth. **.
The Simpsons "The Cad And The Hat"
Great episode title.
I didn't like the couch gag as much as the writers were hoping I would. Because, the slam about raisins being the worst part of a cookie that has them is true. They really shouldn't have bought it back with Maggie liking them by the end.
I can buy Homer being an idiot savant at chess. What I cannot buy is that he got there through hard work and practice, and developed his skill. If he wasn't ALWAYS good at it, it's not believable someone as dumb as him could work up to that.
Good things? I liked the stuff with Lisa's awesome sunhat (which WAS amazing) and Bart's guilt over getting rid of it. But Bart doesn't actually possess any redeeming qualities in my mind, and is actually a sociopath. I don't think they actually needed to have him repent here.
Pretty good, not great. ***1/2.
Sleepy Hollow "Loco Parentis"
Molly should know who Scooby and Shaggy are. They are still around, even if the middle aged writers of the episode don't watch current kid cartoons. It makes sense Crane doesn't know them. Do you know what doesn't? That the Lycan does. He just got resurrected a couple of weeks ago, and I doubt he's spent much time watching Boomerang in the meantime.
Love that they had Molly wear a red coat and hood during the climax. This episode fills in a major hole in the Red Riding Hood fairy tale. Red should know immediately that the Wolf isn't her grandmother, even if he's wearing her clothes. The episode takes the tack that the Lycan is a shape-shifter who transforms into people the girl trust, although often with bigger than normal teeth. This fills the hole in the story, but it's the fact that a project needs to come up with an alternate explanations hundreds of years later as to why the original story does NOT work at all. Because that is NOT the subtext in the Grimm version and it never would have occurred to them.
Jeremy Davies is legitimately scaring me now. He is one of those actors who can do anything.
Good week, I think. ****.
Sleepy Hollow "Sick Burn"
I love the vision of the future because it hints that there is going to have to be some time travel involved to fix it. Short of the series running an additional 30 seasons to resolve it.
Why would Ichabod know the "Say prunes" thing to begin with? He disappeared nearly a hundred years before cameras were invented, and reappeared over 80 or more years after "cheese" was the standard. The writers are getting super sloppy with what history Crane should and should not know.
For the record, Aladdin was rated G instead of PG. Of course, if it were released today it would get a PG rating, just like every other current vanilla Disney film is rated, no matter how mild it is. I'm not surprised the writers made that mistake. It's only within the last ten years or so that ratings became utterly worthless. They were always mostly worthless, but once "thematic elements" became a note of parental caution, they officially became 100% useless.
The future vision hints the season could perhaps be salvaged if this is this show's version of Observergeddon from Fringe. ****.
Grimm "Blind Love"
Good and bad. The good was REALLY good, and the bad was freaking terrible.
Let's start off with the bad.
While the idea that before he became a Grimm Nick had made Wesen enemies that neither he nor the enemy knew each other's deal about is an interesting one, this whole Cupid thing was embarrassingly bad. Possibly the most embarrassing bad thing the series has ever done. The acting was terrible, the supposed humorous stuff unfunny, and the idea just plain badly written. If Russell Hornsby's performance in the mirror occurred in a movie, not only would it be nominated for a Razzie, it would win it easily. This was a trainwreck.
Which means the subplot being so phenomenal is REALLY weird. Usually episodes this bad are written by terrible writers, and are underwhelming the entire way through, but Diana's Ransom of Red Chief plot was nonstop sublime, including the Captain frantically getting ready to call the police, realizing that Diana is not the one in danger in that scenario, putting the phone away and smirking. It's just non-stop brilliant which makes the fact that it shares space with this dud of an episode extremely surprising.
The Cupid plot gets a 0. The Diana plot gets *****. Unfortunately since the Cupid plot takes up twice as much time, the episode's grade is negative. **.
Grimm "The Son Also Rises"
Love the Frankenstein quote at the beginning, and that they named the Doctor Victor Shelley. In the first season, Grimm used to straight up adapt fairytales in a modern setting, often without the characters understanding or recognizing that was what was going on. They'd even use fairytale names for the characters. About midway through the season, they introduced the concept of Wesen, and the fairytale adaptation thing sort of fell by the wayside. But once or twice every season, they tend to go back to that concept. And I like that even if Frankenstein is not a traditional Germanic Folk Tale, it's well known enough that it can be believably branched out into. Frankly, I have an easier time buying this show adapting it than Once Upon A Time, and I mostly liked that show's version.
I love how delighted Wu and Hank were over the case, because they knew something unusual and amazing was happening. They were gonna have to solve this themselves, with no supernatural outside help. And even if the culprit had Wesen arms, all of the suspects and victims were completely human, which meant it WAS something they could do on their own. And they had fun with it too.
Why did they show all of those clips from the high and low points of Nick and Juliet's relationship? I really hope it's to remind the audience that Nick should never get back with her.
And why doesn't Nick describe the guy in the mirror as a demon to Monroe and Rosalee? Why is this show so afraid to use that word?
I figured the Rosalee giving birth was a dream sequence, but I wasn't sure if it was hers or Monroe's at first. I should have guessed Monroe easily. Only a man could have a dream sequence about a woman easily giving birth to six children from under two minutes from when her water broke. Total dude cluelessness there. And as erudite and learned as Monroe usually is, deep down, he's a typical, dumb guy. I like that because I probably am too and just don't realize it.
Do you know who Diana's actress reminds me of? A young Sheryl Lee! When I saw that photo I recognized Laura Palmer's smile and eyes in it immediately. Hopefully Diana has a better ending. I'm glad Renard's friend was less help than I feared. She doesn't know anything more than our friends do, and quite a bit less than them. Why does she ask Renard if he knows who the mother is? You can ask a mother that about a father, but that is NOT a scenario many if any at ALL fathers ever face.
Strong episode. *****.
Bob's Burgers "There's No Business Like Mr. Business Business"
Gayle episodes tend to be the worst and this was no exception. And don't get me started on the eating cat food thing.
Good things? Somehow, listening to John Oliver pretend to be attacked by a cat sounds as funny as you think it would.
But the episode is otherwise a bummer. **.
Son Of Zorn "All Hail Son Of Zorn"
I've noticed that since they've been dating, Linda has been cutting Zorn a LOT more slack. She's right. He's pretty. And when he calls her a knock-out, that is accurate too.
Loved the way Alan purposefully embarrassed himself at the prom. Taking his mom was a genius move in loserdom. Not sure how the pregnancy is gonna go, but I DO hope there is a season two.
Craig is SO Black Flanders. I laughed because I never made the connection before. But that is what he is.
Hope this gets renewed. ****1/2.
Family Guy "The Finer Strings"
Love the Carrot Top cataract joke (especially since they got him to come back later in the episode) but the "I've got a friend in me" thing was SO gross and tacky, it legitimately upset me. Family Guy at its worst.
Peter's plot was all right, and Brian's plot was all right, but nothing about the episode really gelled. **1/2.
Emerald City "Lions In Winter"
If Lucas winds up killing Dorothy next week, she'll have deserved it. Why on Earth when those gloves appeared did she try to kill Glinda rather than help those suffering children? Ugh.
Interesting that Amon is the Lion and the killer of Ozma's father. He doesn't seem very cowardly to me.
I cannot believe the Wizard is surprised by Ev's betrayal. Him giving her the designs of the gun was one of the dumbest things he has ever done (and that is saying something).
I believe West is a better and more virtuous person than Glinda. And I'd be shocked if it didn't stay that way.
This show is getting outright unpleasant. **.
Emerald City "The Villain That's Become"
In which Toto mauls the Scarecrow.
Dorothy crucifying the Scarecrow to make it so she never entered his life was quite fitting, no? He is no longer the one she loves most of all.
I should have figured something larger was going to happen to Lady Ev upon her going maskless. Why else would she do that unless the writers planned to kill her? And why would the writers plan to kill such a great character other than to show she's a robot? The not wanting people to know she doesn't age thing is a REALLY good explanation for why she wears the masks.
But if Lady Ev IS a robot, why does Jane pretend at first that she can't fix her? I didn't get that bit.
I knew Jane seemed familiar. Now I know exactly where I saw her before.
Frank's pathetic, isn't he? The Big Bad of Oz is NOT the Wicked Witch of the West. I think she is actually benevolent. But the Wizard himself has no redeeming qualities and is the person that makes all of Oz suck.
Sort of defeats the purpose of Ozma if she can freely switch back and forth between genders, but if it's only for this episode, I'll forgive it.
A good one. ****.
Colony "Fallout"
The teaser says that things are this bad everywhere.
What was Nolan thinking with his visit to the camp? How could he not see Snyder doing what he did? While his rationale that if Will couldn't get Bram out of the camp, it might not be possible is sound, his wife is absolutely right that Snyder would have consented if he had asked. And that stunt with the container just means he blew up all his capital anyways. He's saving money from a rainy day while the house is one fire.
I love when Katie says work is now a nest of vipers, Will says "Good thing I'm a snake-charmer." That's a Sawyer line. Full stop.
I love that the scenes of the medical tests were played very naturalistic and without music. It definitely made things feel more real and clinical than an episode of ER ever did.
This show keeps getting more and more interesting week after week. Not always good. But I always want to know what happens next. ****.
Colony "Free Radicals"
Things are going downhill fast.
One of my biggest gripes of the Resistance is that they always target Collaborators instead of Hosts. With the revelation that the block is a death camp, that's pretty much doing the Host's work for them, which makes the Resistance utterly ineffective. Blowing up that spaceship was a big win for them in a way few things are. Granted, I don't think it actually will do anything good, but those kids wanted to hurt the Visitors and they did.
I can't quite recommend the episode though. Because the subtext of the entire thing seems to be beautiful women having sex with well-intentioned but gullible men to get them to do whatever horrible thing they wanted. Granted, Bram's girlfriend actually put her money where mouth was in the end, but there is no part of that Red Hand woman that doesn't suck. And I dislike that subtext, which is why the early episodes of Battlestar Galactica were less than enjoyable. Hopefully this is not the new normal, but I noticed it happened twice in the episode, with different people, and one of them a main cast member (and a virginal kid). I hope this isn't a trend. Because it's icky.
Not quite a passing grade. **1/2.
The Blacklist "The Architect"
If things are truly going this bad for Red, I suspect Dembe. I hope I'm wrong, but being compromised on this level means it's either him or Kaplan, and I do not believe Kaplan would be tempting fate in this way. This more smells like revenge in Kaplan's name by Dembe.
I love when Red asks Dembe how he knows Italian he says "There was a girl." Of course.
The whole painting thing was so stupid. That banker valued the absolute dumbest thing. And Red's talking about killing the guy in front of him who cluelessly goes on painting because he doesn't speak English. But Red is right. If he DID kill him, his final painting would be VERY valuable.
I'm surprised Aram never mentioned that the Architect looks like Data from Star Trek. Glad he got some closure from his ex who betrayed him. That was cute.
I like the idea that Red didn't kill his accountant like his wife thought, but actually helped him try to help her. And she squandered that gift and Red refuses to tell her where her husband is because he's married and he'd also be heartbroken to see what she's become. That was a cool moment.
The stuff with Tom is starting to aggravate me. I know it is for the spin-off but it is super boring. Which tells me the spin-off will be too.
Above Average. ****.
The Blacklist "The Apothecary"
This is the precise reason The Blacklist sucks, and why I ultimately think so little of it. That ripped my guts in half. Conceded. What amazes me is that the writers treat the moment as a twist, and as if I'm supposed to be surprised. I'm not. Dembe was the only suspect in my mind. And as heartbroken as I am, I am far more furious that the writers not only wrecked the character, but thought that by doing that they were surprising me. This is about as shocking as Liz having faked her death. The Liz faking her death thing was the shark jump to end all shark jumps, but in all fairness, if the show just did something like that once, I'd forgive it. This is the exact same type of storytelling, and this and Liz's fake death aren't the only times it's happened. I don't like shows that make the viewers miserable to shock them. But what is understood between the viewer and the better producers of shows who engaged in that trope is that if you plan on shocking the audience to make them miserable, the twist actually has to be a surprise. It's worthless if it isn't, and makes the audience upset for no reason. The shock is the only selling point of ruining friendships and characters. If you see it coming, not only is there no reason to do it, but it just makes the time you DID do it seem utterly pointless.
I do not get how the producers of this show sleep at night with how wrong they do the audience by on a weekly basis. It's pure audacity, and hubris, and pretending the audience is stupider than it actually is. And I've frankly gotten sick of it. 0.
The Blacklist: Redemption "Leland Bray"
Wow, that sucked. Cliched, predictable, paint by numbers, and badly written. Least needed spin-off ever. It makes The Lone Gunmen feel relevant.
Let us itemize the suck. Most of it has to do with Famke Janssen. Ironically, the sucky things involving her have nothing to do with her performance. That's good, but it also shows how ill thought out this show, and her casting was.
First, she has genuine sexual chemistry with Ryan Eggold, which just creeps me out, especially since the show plays it for laughs. But it's not funny. Not even a little. There are some incest plots that could be funny (Arrested Development springs immediately to mind) but you cannot ask that of a weekly drama. That's just not possible.
Secondly, why is her name first in the credits? I get that she's the biggest name, but the show is actually about Tom Keene. I am as about resentful of this as I am Sullivan Stapleton being billed before Jamie Alexander on Blindspot. To be fair to Janssen, she's a legit name, while Stapleton is a nobody. But it feels wrong to have the star of the show billed second in the titles.
Third, there is no way Terry O'Quinn could EVER get Janssen. Patrick Stewart on Next Gen was already a stretch (not completely though; Picard was a hottie on some level), but O'Quinn would have had no shot, even 30 years ago. In fact, that would be even MORE true 30 years ago. Sigh.
That fat computer guy is beyond annoying and creepy. He will NOT be a good substitute for Aram.
Any good things? I like the visual of a woman in a swimsuit jumping onto a moving truck. But that was literally the only memorable thing in this piece of dreck. *.
Blindspot "Borrow Or Rob"
Explain to me why Rich Dotcom doesn't have a spin-off yet.
I laughed at Weller being mistaken for a prostitute, although I DO agree that he seems to be Rich's type. What I am amazed is that Weller didn't say "Meredith? Seriously?" upon hearing Rich's real middle name. I do not think I'd have been able to stay in character after that.
Rowan's plot makes me realize that Jane NEVER should have lied to someone that unstable about something that big. She is headed for a fall when he learns the truth.
Reade's cocaine thing is SO dumb and badly written. I don't know why the writers want me to sympathize with him anymore. He's an outright criminal.
But Rich Dotcom makes everything better. ****1/2.
Blindspot "Draw O Caesar, Erase A Coward"
I like that Patterson immediately knows Reade is using. He's not fooling anyone.
I would say it was good to see John Wesley Shipp, but he was barely onscreen before he was killed.
Average. ***.
Justice League Vs. Teen Titans
This is the best one of these things so far (in this continuity). I'd be inclined to say that's because they opened up the world a bit and introduced new characters and premises, but no, Batman: Bad Blood did that too and it still sucked butt. This film wasn't perfect (I'll get to some complaints) but it's the best featuring this incarnation of the characters.
Let's start off with the bad. Damian Wayne is the most unlikable DC character since Guy Gardener. But at least you are SUPPOSED to hate Gardener. I find it extremely odd that DC expects me to sympathize with someone so needlessly violent and cruel. Luckily, the movie stopped completely being centered around him after a half hour but I am gobsmacked that the creators think I should care about an entitled piece of s*** like Robin. It's like they made Joffrey from Game of Thrones a superhero. I do not get the appeal. At all.
I loved watching him get his @$$ handed to him by Blue Beetle. Movie was worth it just for that. "Am I fighting you or the bug?" "You better hope it's me." Love it.
"That is going to be one awkward call to Batman." You think, Beast Boy? Could you imagine if Damian had actually died on his first day at the hands of another Titan? If I were Blue Beetle I would have pooped a brick.
I like that everything Damian said regarding Ra's in his first solo conversation with Raven mirrored her relationship to Trigon without him even realizing it. Damian is a numbskull.
Something I liked was learning Raven's origin story (including how she got the red thing on her forehead). Suffice it to say, this is the first animated adaptation of that (for obvious reasons). It doesn't explain why the Raven on Teen Titans TAS of Teen Titans Go! has the crystal on her forehead though.
I liked that the movie knew enough about Batman to say he'd poison himself before he'd let himself get taken over by an alien entity. It wasn't really Justice League Vs. Teen Titans when he did that. It was Justice League noticeably absent Batman Vs. Teen Titans when they did that.
I also like that they cured Cyborg earlier than the others, so he could join the Titans in the climax. Frankly, I wish Nightwing had been there too.
Clark's already making fun of Diana's glasses, even before he sees them. What makes your s*** not stink, Kent?
Robin sucks at crowd control.
I love Superman defending Damian to Batman only to get a look of abject fear when Batman gave him the hairy eyeball. It's great for two reasons. 1. Parenting is always a touchy subject. 2. It shows that Superman actually fears Batman on some level. Which is good. Because he should.
Refreshing to see an animated Starfire who is not a total airhead (she knows Robert Frost), but I don't like the costume. It's nowhere NEAR as bad as the comic book version (probably a corporate mandate) but it seems to be another thing about these projects that seems to be the producers way of hoping beyond hope the aging fanboys who eat that stuff up never discovers internet porn. Adult comic books are on some level like phone sex hotlines. Except, the rest of us do not have to suffer through a loser making a call to THAT dying industry. It's kind of sad and embarrassing. The nude transformation into her costume was similarly pathetic.
"Garfield, that was inappropriate." Says the woman dressed like a stripper.
"This IS Azarath," was a very sad line. Poor Raven.
I loved Star throwing a bucket of water on Dick's lust.
How is it an orange woman, a gray girl, and a green boy can walk through a carnival without attracting attention? Granted, it's night, but everyone can still see them.
The idea of Beast Boy licking himself NOT as a dog is a gross and unfunny one. I like that Robin's response to a high five is "Hmmm," though.
Do you know what I like? When Damian wins the sword at the carnival he gives it to an excited little girl rather than a little boy. Girls can be Amazon warriors too, after all.
I love that Batman doesn't actually know if Superman has the ability to rip the moon out of the sky, and actually sounds a bit worried about it. I also love him acknowledging immediately that he knew his plan to have Diana go into hiding was nonsense. "Worth a shot," sums it up.
I also really liked that not only did Damian have a plan to stop Superman, it was the correct plan. Because Superman is their biggest problem in that scenario, and if they get him back, he becomes their biggest asset. No brainer. Sort of like if you go up against a group of superpowered people, you take out the speedster first. And if there IS no speedster, go for the telepath. If there's both, do it in that order. And if you have a speedster and they only have a telepath, you are in fat city. Part of the fun of thinking about superheroes fighting each other is matching their talents and abilities to the particular situation. And that's why it makes sense to go after Superman first.
And Superman seriously crushed Flash's leg. I love Barry's reaction. He kinda overdid there, don't you think? I'm betting he's looking at Diana resentfully and muttering the lasso of truth worked just as well.
Weather Wizard: "Not the face!" Flash is happy to oblige. I groaned at him calling him "Wiz". Calling him a runner was funny though.
Is there a Toyman embargo for these movies now? Because Toymaster just hits the ear completely wrong.
Speaking of which, when Ra's tells Damian he's an Al Ghul, I cringed when Damian retorted "I'm a Titan!". That might make good trailer-bait, but he JUST met them. It would have sounded better to me (and made more sense) if he had said "I'm a Wayne!". Was that line for the trailer truly THAT important? Because it kind of wrecked a potentially awesome moment.
Trigon walks incredibly sloooowwwwlllyyy. Dude needs to watch 28 Days Later. He woulda done better.
I like how his hair looks like a combo of wind and fire when he appears though. That is a cool visual.
The idea that Trigon created the Lazarus Pit is intriguing, but since that wasn't Ra's, it was probably jive. Equally thought-provoking (but true) is the idea that Raven once loved Trigon.
I love that they not only surprisingly introduced the Legion of Doom in this movie, (as hinted at in Throne Of Atlantis) but did it as such to say that all of those ultimate evils are the warm-up act. Lex Luthor is a B lister in the movie, and considering the way Superman humiliatingly punked him in his supersuit, he's treated as such. It's okay. It's probably insured.
Speaking of tags, I hope Terra in the last shot means a Judas Contract movie IS indeed coming. It's long overdue at this point.
Stupid Superman moment: Clark saying "If this is a prank, you're messing with the wrong guy." Stupidest Clark Kent line ever. I cannot believe they had him say that. Yeah, it's true. But I don't care if Clark's alone when he says it, Clark would NEVER say something in the glasses that would tip off the identity so brazenly. It's idiotic and goes against everything Clark tries to do with that persona.
Batman doesn't like Cyborg's pizza but the Titans do. I don't like thinking about where Cyborg's pizza ends up without a stomach either. I loved how embarrassed he was that the league caught him on-camera hanging out with the Titans. And you know what? It is kind of pathetic, at least for the Cyborg in this continuity.
Damian dismissively teaching Starfire about vetting potential teammates is interesting. Because just based on their histories and what the audience has witnessed in the previous movies, Damian is a FAR bigger danger and threat to the Titans than Raven is. He's right that Starfire needs to be a bit more choosy in who she lets into the Tower. What is left unsaid is that if she were, he wouldn't be there.
Speaking of which, NOBODY in the movie comments on the fact that the tower is shaped like a giant T? Nobody? Really? Sigh. Okay. I'll shut my brain off and pretend I'm stupid. The writers obviously think I am anyways, so I'm happy to help.
This movie confirms something that I've always suspected, but realized is true. Music montages do NOT work in superhero cartoons. And there's two of 'em here! They barely work in Disney ones, and that's due to the incredible amount of expensive animation they are able to use. I see here that this is NOT something that should have been attempted until the animation process caught up (affordably) with the technology. This is about as big of a fail as the slow motion animation set to an aria attempted in the otherwise flawless Justice League episode "Maid Of Honor". The irony is that like there, I got exactly what they were going for. But it still didn't work. At all.
Speaking of that, people have complained that Batman is a Mary Sue, but Damian winning a dance competition without ever having danced before ("I'm a quick study" no less), shows that slur belongs to his son. I was screaming "Shut up, Wesley!" to my TV.
I like Beast Boy being incredulous and then impressed that Robin knew how to defeat Superman. That was a funny moment.
Damian saying that Raven is now four times as lucky shows he doesn't know math. Including Starfire, she is FIVE times as lucky, because she is also including herself in that calculation. Ra's obviously never taught Damian his multiplication tables.
I loved Damian being impressed that Batman sacrificed himself to give the Titans a fighting chance and a little bit disgusted that the rest of the League didn't think to do that. I like that compared to Batman, Robin thinks Wonder Woman, Flash, and Cyborg are a buncha lightweights. It's bad in that it again ties into Damian's unhealthy obsession with bloodlines and legacies, but again it's kind of cool that he thinks Batman is the best Leaguer. Because he is.
What Trigon / Diana says she never loved or cared about Superman, I was intrigued. Because she IS in the lasso of truth at that moment. Are we seeing a larger problem behind Superman and Diana than simply miffed Lois and Clark 'shippers?
Also indicating trouble in paradise is the fact that Clark has apparently never told her about Kryptonite. And I gotta say, that's pretty galling. I'm surprised she isn't furious about at the end of the movie. I like to think she read him the riot act off-camera and we just didn't see it because we were focused on the Titans.
Speaking of the Lasso of Truth, I kind of think it is bogus that Superman can use it to command someone else to answer. I kind of think that's the kind of skill that only an Amazon should be able to do.
Another complaint: why is it Beast Boy rips off his costume when he changes into an animal, but when he changes back his costume reforms as if it were PART of the animal. I notice these things, producers. I possess eyes.
I enjoyed this movie far more than I expected I would. ****1/2.
Growing Up Titan:
Interesting that the relaunch in the 1980's took cues from the X-Men, and aside from a couple of old standbys, made up the team of brand new characters. I didn't notice the Greek myth comparisons before this, but now they are obvious. They never said which Titan died in The Judas Contract. Must not want to spoil the movie. "I lie to Batman" IS a great line. I'll give them that. ***.
Heroes And Villains: Raven:
I notice that like the movie, they refuse to outright say Trigon RAPED Raven's mother. It didn't bother me in the movie because it's an entirely new interpretation, but I kind of don't think the producers of these things should be lying about or sanitizing the comics to people who don't know them at all. I confess I don't read very many superhero comics, but I DID know that detail of Raven's conception. Emotionless Raven was not a thing on either Teen Titans kids show. On the old anime series Raven got angry a LOT, and on the reboot she is also usually quite cheerful and bubbly (even if it's morbid things that make her cheerful). Somebody also said that Raven isn't an inherently GOOD character, but just what I know from the Raven from the cartoons, she is. Of course, I know jack about the comics so they might be talking about something else entirely. ***1/2.
Heroes And Villains: Trigon:
I want to give all of the credit in the world to whoever came up with Trigon's origin. It is frickin' Biblical, if a new Bible or Greek Myths was constructed by somebody creating entirely new characters and involving other planets and dimensions. I normally talk down comics books for thinking they are deeper than they are, but that is some Shakespearian level s*** right there for how Trigon was created. Somebody else pointed out that all of the immortal characters in DC Comics are evil. That's weird, isn't it? The doesn't exactly strike me as an inherently evil superpower but that seems to be the mindset for Trigon, Vandal Savage, and Darkseid anyways. I think it's actually pretty weird. Is Jason Blood Immortal? He might be the exception. ****.
A Sneak Peek At DC Universe's Next Animated Movie: Batman: The Killing Joke:
Bruce Timm notes that every once in a while Hamill will state he doesn't want to play the Joker anymore unless it's for The Killing Joke. Whatever I think about The Killing Joke, for good and ill, it at least made Hamill comfortable enough to come back to the role more than once (he'll be reprising it on Justice League Action too). I think the movie is worth it for that. As Timm states, he doesn't know where that voice comes from, but it's uncanny and for an entire generation it IS the Joker. He's wrong about something though. One Bad Day can't turn everyone in the Joker. That was the entire point of the movie. "It's just you." Tara Strong continues to be gorgeous. I love the idea of the prologue and it is probably the reason I like the movie. Barbara is NOT just a victim in the movie that the male characters fret over. She's her own person and this thing effected HER, not just Jim and Batman. I think it's the reason the movie works. Here the producers state that if they wanted, they probably could have gotten a PG-13 if they hadn't toned down anything from the comic. But after seeing the film, I kind of think they are right that the R rating helped things a bit. There's nothing really more violent in the movie than some of the other DTVs like Flashpoint Paradox and other movie have more sexual content. But without ever using R rated language or nudity, the film is for adults simply because it is so disturbing. It is literally only rated R because of the horrifying music in the carnival and Ray Wise's screams of his daughter's name. And I think that's enough. ****.
Batman: Bad Blood Trailer: Great trailer, lousy movie. ****.
Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice: Some of the trailers of this movie were actually pretty good. This is one of the other ones. **1/2.
Upcoming reviews include Doctor Who: Series 9, The X-Files: Season 10, Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), Captain America: Civil War (Blu-Ray), Daredevil: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Deadpool, X-Men: Apocalypse (Blu-Ray), The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes! Season 1, The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes! Season 2, The Lion Guard: Return Of The Roar (DVD), Zootopia, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), The Good Dinosaur (Blu-Ray), Finding Dory (Blu-Ray), Once Upon A Time: Season 5, The BFG, Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Blu-Ray), Star Wars Rebels: Season 2, Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales, Lego Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures: Season One, Jim Henson's Turkey Hollow (DVD), Justice League Vs. Teen Titans, Batman: The Killing Joke, Teen Titans Go!: Get In Pig Out, Suicide Squad (Blu-Ray), The Flash: Season 2, Arrow: Season 4, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow: Season 1, Supergirl: Season 1, Gotham: Season 2, iZombie: Season 1, iZombie: Season 2, Lucifer: Season 1, Be Cool Scooby Doo!: Spooky Kooky Fun!, Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Prod.: Hare-Raising Tales, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Beyond The Known Universe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Earth's Last Stand, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Half-Shell Heroes: Blast To The Past, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Powr Rangers: Megaforce: The Complete Season, Power Rangers: Super Megaforce: The Complete Season, Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Season 1, Heroes Reborn: The Complete Series, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, The Legend Of Korra: The Complete Series, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Haven: The Final Season, Under The Dome: Season 3, Quantum Leap: Season 1, Quantum Leap: Season 2, Quantum Leap: Season 3, Quantum Leap: Season 4, Quantum Leap: Season 5, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Sleepy Hollow: Season 3, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 3, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Shaun The Sheep: The Farmer's Llamas, 12 Monkeys: Season 1, 12 Monkeys: Season 2, Grimm: Season 4, Grimm: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 6, The Peanuts Movie, Peanuts By Schulz: Snoopy Tales, Bob's Burgers: Season 5, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay: Part 2, Ghostbusters: Answer: The Call, Community: Season 6, Hannibal: Season 1, Hannibal: Season 2, Hannibal: Season 3, Preacher: Season One, Degrassi Junior High: The Complete Series, Degrassi High: The Complete Series, Danger Mouse: The Complete Series, Game Of Thrones: Season 5, and Game of Thrones: Season 6.
Justice League Action "Time Share"
Love the BTAS tributes, particular the Elfman theme, the zeppelins, and the "Dark Deco" animation style. But this episode says something very interesting about Kevin Conroy's early Batman performances that many fans refuse to admit. The whole "I am vengeance. I am the night. I am Batman!" thing is super tacky. The line landed with a thud in the episode it occurred in due to the crummy animation, (Nothing to Fear) but even when Cartoon Network jazzed it up by combining with the lightning sky outline from the theme song, it is still a groaner. Batman: The Animated Series was not a perfect show, but it WAS a good one (usually). That whole thing being one of the most famous things about it makes it seem worse than it actually was. ****.
Teen Titans Go! "BBRAE: PT 1"
Not much to say about PT 1, except to say I am amused the Mama Bear is carrying a purse. ***.
Teen Titans Go! "BBRAE: PT 2"
Was that Kitten chasing Speedy?
I have to say I like Beast Boy's second song much better than the first anyways. ***.
DC Super Hero Girls "Tales From The Krytomites, Part 1"
Those Krytomites were SO cute! I want a plushie of them!
Why does Supergirl need a defense missile? And how defensive can a missile actually be?
I liked it. ***1/2.
Supergirl "Mr. And Mrs. Mxyzptlk"
I love that robber saying "Thank you, Supergirl!" before she clocks him. He is very lucky heroes are nicer to their enemies than villains are.
Do you know what Kara should have done when she sent away a dejected Mon-El because she could handle Mxy herself? She should have winked at him to let him know it was a ploy. Instead Mon-El feels like dirt for a great deal of the episode.
I think if Alex is bad at the not being selfish in relationships thing, Maggie shows she's worse. She's spouting all of these opinions about Valentines Day as if she expects Alex to automatically agree. Valentines Day is between TWO people, and you'd think Maggie would at least talk it out to truly see where Alex's headspace is on the matter. Instead, she's pretty much setting up a hierarchy in their relationship and putting herself on top. That sucks.
And yeah, Maggie has a sob story about Valentines' Day. Many people do. Not all of those people make the entire day about themselves.
I love that right before she defeats Mxy, Kara is drinking orange juice. I was beyond disappointed she didn't say "I love orange juice!" upon Mxy sharing that weakness, but she at least absorbed the idea anyways.
Some of it was all right, but it wasn't all there. ***.
The Flash "Attack On Gorilla City"
There's a season's budget.
How is it? Truthfully? It's everything I wanted, and yet everything I feared. We were hoping beyond hope for legit mega monkey smackdowns upon seeing that empty cage in the Pilot. But the problem is that you might want to be careful what you wish for.
Look at the scene in the arena of Flash yelling that humans are good and reject violence and are no threat to the gorillas. Possibly the worst bit of acting Grant Gustin has ever done, and the worst written scene on the show so far. But it's also necessary for the premise to work. That's the trade-off for mega monkey smackdowns. You get the cool smackdowns but you also have terrible writing and acting to try and justify it. There IS no justification. But I can't seriously expect the show not to try. So we have that instead.
I liked Julian's reactions to learning about parallel Earths and Gorilla City. Because he's excited and amused. Which is the proper response. One of Julian's biggest problems is that he never has the proper human response to any of the nonsense. That was him having it for that one time.
I love how immediately annoyed Harry is with HR, and asking why he's still there, and I also loved that later HR gleefully says that Jessie deciding to stay on Earth 1 was really gonna p*ss him off. Because it will.
For the record, I hate and reject recaps. I ever have my own TV show, I will refuse to use them. Why? Gypsy's appearance at the end would have been a genuine surprise had the recap not totally tipped us off at the beginning that she was coming. Recaps may make things easier for the less involved viewers. But they make things less awesome and surprising for the viewers who actually care about the show.
Great and terrible at the same time. Which is all I ever wanted for Christmas. ****.
DC's Legends Of Tomorrow "Camelot / 3000"
Great episode title.
Ugh. That stuff about Ray always wanting to be a knight was seriously badly written. How can any writer in 2017 think that is acceptable, much less do it every dang week? How many childhood heroes can a manchild like Ray believably have?
I liked the moment at the end where he showed off the Atom suit under the armor though. Totally Doc Brown and the bulletproof vest at the end of Back To The Future.
When they talked about Merlin appearing, I braced for Malcolm, but Stargirl was a true curveball. And not really a good one. Because Merlin IS a significant part of DC Comics mythology, and this means the Arrowverse doesn't get to have Etrigan. Constantine has also referenced King Arthur once or twice, but it's hard to take that show treating the material with respect in a continuity where Sarah Lance is actually Lance-a-lot. This episode caused more headaches for the Arrowverse than it needed. And don't get me started on the origin of Malcolm's name in the League of Assassins.
Not great. **1/2.
Arrow "Spectre Of The Gun"
Yeah, I don't believe in a middle ground in gun control. I personally think all guns should be illegal in the U.S.. We'd solve so many problems immediately. I seem to be one of the few people who thinks this way, but I don't have to agree with everything in the Constitution. It was created by imperfect people, and I think the current interpretation of the second amendment is not something the Founding Fathers foresaw, or even possibly could have foreseen. Guns used to be used to hunt. Now they are merely metal penis extenders.
But yeah, I guess I just have to accept that gun nuts have the right to own as many killing machines as they like. Mass shootings and homegrown terrorist attacks are simply the price the rest of us have to pay for them to enjoy that right.
That's my soapbox, and I doubt anyone will agree with me. But here's an interesting question: Why doesn't Oliver Queen voice a more forceful opinion? Why are the producers afraid of making him the liberal firebrand he is in the comics? The episode tries to say that society refusing to argue politics in polite company anymore because it is too divisive is wrong. But isn't refusing to write the Green Arrow as he has been historically portrayed in the comics exactly as gutless? I'd appreciate the moral of being willing to take a stand more if the writers actually were.
I love that they gave Quentin the liberal opinion about guns. He is not a liberal-seeming character by any stretch of the imagination, but considering what guns have cost him, I don't imagine him thinking any differently either.
For the record, this is not the most violent or mature episode of Arrow by a longshot. It's probably not even in the top twenty. But I get the viewer discretion warning completely. Because even if Arrow has been gorier, more violent, and more inappropriate, it hasn't really been more upsetting. It genuinely upsets me to watch mass shootings portrayed in fiction. I never would have started watching American Horror Story if I had known that coming. What I appreciate about this episode, is that even if the politics are murky, they at least take the violence that occurred seriously. And Arrow doesn't always do that. The Flash and Supergirl are shows more concerned with the innocent bystanders. So even if this is the toughest episode for me to watch, it isn't actually a bad episode or something I am going to give a negative review to. ****.
Arrow "The Sin-Eater"
I love that Oliver makes sure to run by the idea of calling Dinah Black Canary by Quentin first. And Quentin personally gives her his blessing too.
I don't blame Prometheus' mother for not wanting to help, especially considering who the person asking for help actually was.
I am very interested that the reason Warner decided to become a criminal again is because Quentin worked for Damian Darhk. Another unforeseen side effect of Quentin doing something that stupid. Thea is absolutely wrong that Quentin holds no responsibility here. And after the trick she pull with Susan, I think Quentin is overstating her wisdom too.
I love Oliver pretty much telling Thea her denials about her goals in doing that were b.s.. She knew exactly what she was doing. When Oliver looks her in the eyes and says "What kind of person does that?" I punched the air. Because Thea has pretty much been a sociopath since the very first episode, and Oliver always, ALWAYS made excuses for her. Him saying that is him seeing her as she actually is for the first time.
Boy, remember how much Moira sucked? I sure do.
Like Curtis' tacky new costume.
Were I Oliver, I would have told the Police Chief I was the Green Arrow. Maybe that should have been an absolute last resort, but I'm betting it would have settled it easier. Frankly, I don't know what Pike didn't get that was Oliver at the end of the episode. It was kind of obvious.
Average week. ***1/2.
Powerless "Sinking Day"
A lotta fun.
I was wondering who the skeleton who walked off the elevator was, until I realized it was Corbin Bernsen. The ravages of time are cruel and confusing.
I totally see Brendan Fraser being Atlantis' version of Jerry Lewis and France. I suspect Chris Hemsworth is big there too, for very similar reasons. I love the idea that William H. Macy is from there too.
I sort of get Van Wayne now. He's like Michael Scott, if Scott's Tots occurred every week, and could potentially get people killed.
Is The Olympian from the comics? Because he should be. Best way to check if someone's a superhero ever.
I love the theory that Bruce Wayne is Flash. I mean, savvy people will probably theorize that Bruce Wayne is Batman, but I'm kind of now realizing that just because he has all of the characteristics of somebody who leads a secret life, it doesn't mean that Batman is the only person he could be. I'm amazed I've never heard a superhero joke like that before.
I liked this a lot. ****.
Powerless "Emily Dates A Henchman"
Major is a henchman? Okay.
Riddler Henchmen all look like they belong on a Japanese game show.
Not a lotta white guys named Reggie. Good observation.
The Riddler riddles his henchmen? I have to imagine interoffice memos at his lair must be a nightmare.
Average. **1/2.
Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. "Self Control"
Holy. CRAP! Best episode of the season! Easily! But we have to wait until April to find out what the deal with Hydra is?! Is Ward coming back?! Worst hiatus choice point ever!
I freaking loved the scene where Simmons is stabbing RoboFitz to death as he begs her to stop. Super disturbing, as was Daisy hiding amongst the RoboDaisys while RoboMack is trying to find her.
Seeing how badly Daisy punked RoboMack makes me wonder why she didn't use her Quake powers to start with on RoboMace.
I have to admit the scenario in which Simmons tested to see if Fitz was a robot was brilliant. Because her asking him to do that played equally well as if she was the robot. You just didn't know until he stabbed her. Very surprising and clever idea. I've complained about Mutant Enemy being out of tricks. Jed Whedon just found a new one.
I saw Radcliffe's fate coming a mile away. I pray he was being sincere about not caring what happens to his body. Because he was begging for Aida to kill him after that particular speech.
Bad things? I realize I do not ship Coulson and May. At all. If the real life versions are going to be anywhere NEAR as emo as their roboversions that is one sunk ship. Sigh.
Everything else was awesome. *****.
Legion "Chapter 2"
I get this show now. It's an independent art film with superpowers.
The Angriest Boy book scared me to death. Was that really Xavier? If not, why couldn't we see his face?
I'm officially a little bit freaked out now. I liked last week, but I loved this one. ****1/2.
Legion "Chapter 3"
Mostly boring, although it got scary at the end. I really liked two things.
1. The Angriest Boy cut-out.
2. Sydney hugging the child version of David. You could tell how much it meant to her.
Not much happened this week. But hey, David Selby. ***.
Star Wars Rebels "Legacy Of Mandalore"
You know what this was? Galactic Senate hearings in Phantom Menace. And like Episode I, a big action scene at the end cannot disguise how boring the rest of the episode was. *.
The Lion Guard "Ono's Idol"
Simba is dumb. How can he extoll Hadithi for being a hero who looks out for others first 30 seconds after he sings a musical number called "It's All About Me"?
Oh, and for the record, Bunga is still the most annoying character on the show.
I like where Ono ended up at the end of the episode, and I like that the Hyenas were actually happy they were beaten by a legend. And I especially liked that one of Janja's crew basically quoted Homer Simpson's funniest line ("It's funny because it's true").
This ain't great, but the show has done much worse. ***.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Requiem"
Derivative. We've been through this exact same scenario before, and I didn't like it any more this time.
But this proves once and for all how much Shredder sucks. Casey's "Oops" was great. I'm upset the end bought it back. That would have been the best first murder for Casey ever.
This show is starting to get long in the tooth. **.
The Simpsons "The Cad And The Hat"
Great episode title.
I didn't like the couch gag as much as the writers were hoping I would. Because, the slam about raisins being the worst part of a cookie that has them is true. They really shouldn't have bought it back with Maggie liking them by the end.
I can buy Homer being an idiot savant at chess. What I cannot buy is that he got there through hard work and practice, and developed his skill. If he wasn't ALWAYS good at it, it's not believable someone as dumb as him could work up to that.
Good things? I liked the stuff with Lisa's awesome sunhat (which WAS amazing) and Bart's guilt over getting rid of it. But Bart doesn't actually possess any redeeming qualities in my mind, and is actually a sociopath. I don't think they actually needed to have him repent here.
Pretty good, not great. ***1/2.
Sleepy Hollow "Loco Parentis"
Molly should know who Scooby and Shaggy are. They are still around, even if the middle aged writers of the episode don't watch current kid cartoons. It makes sense Crane doesn't know them. Do you know what doesn't? That the Lycan does. He just got resurrected a couple of weeks ago, and I doubt he's spent much time watching Boomerang in the meantime.
Love that they had Molly wear a red coat and hood during the climax. This episode fills in a major hole in the Red Riding Hood fairy tale. Red should know immediately that the Wolf isn't her grandmother, even if he's wearing her clothes. The episode takes the tack that the Lycan is a shape-shifter who transforms into people the girl trust, although often with bigger than normal teeth. This fills the hole in the story, but it's the fact that a project needs to come up with an alternate explanations hundreds of years later as to why the original story does NOT work at all. Because that is NOT the subtext in the Grimm version and it never would have occurred to them.
Jeremy Davies is legitimately scaring me now. He is one of those actors who can do anything.
Good week, I think. ****.
Sleepy Hollow "Sick Burn"
I love the vision of the future because it hints that there is going to have to be some time travel involved to fix it. Short of the series running an additional 30 seasons to resolve it.
Why would Ichabod know the "Say prunes" thing to begin with? He disappeared nearly a hundred years before cameras were invented, and reappeared over 80 or more years after "cheese" was the standard. The writers are getting super sloppy with what history Crane should and should not know.
For the record, Aladdin was rated G instead of PG. Of course, if it were released today it would get a PG rating, just like every other current vanilla Disney film is rated, no matter how mild it is. I'm not surprised the writers made that mistake. It's only within the last ten years or so that ratings became utterly worthless. They were always mostly worthless, but once "thematic elements" became a note of parental caution, they officially became 100% useless.
The future vision hints the season could perhaps be salvaged if this is this show's version of Observergeddon from Fringe. ****.
Grimm "Blind Love"
Good and bad. The good was REALLY good, and the bad was freaking terrible.
Let's start off with the bad.
While the idea that before he became a Grimm Nick had made Wesen enemies that neither he nor the enemy knew each other's deal about is an interesting one, this whole Cupid thing was embarrassingly bad. Possibly the most embarrassing bad thing the series has ever done. The acting was terrible, the supposed humorous stuff unfunny, and the idea just plain badly written. If Russell Hornsby's performance in the mirror occurred in a movie, not only would it be nominated for a Razzie, it would win it easily. This was a trainwreck.
Which means the subplot being so phenomenal is REALLY weird. Usually episodes this bad are written by terrible writers, and are underwhelming the entire way through, but Diana's Ransom of Red Chief plot was nonstop sublime, including the Captain frantically getting ready to call the police, realizing that Diana is not the one in danger in that scenario, putting the phone away and smirking. It's just non-stop brilliant which makes the fact that it shares space with this dud of an episode extremely surprising.
The Cupid plot gets a 0. The Diana plot gets *****. Unfortunately since the Cupid plot takes up twice as much time, the episode's grade is negative. **.
Grimm "The Son Also Rises"
Love the Frankenstein quote at the beginning, and that they named the Doctor Victor Shelley. In the first season, Grimm used to straight up adapt fairytales in a modern setting, often without the characters understanding or recognizing that was what was going on. They'd even use fairytale names for the characters. About midway through the season, they introduced the concept of Wesen, and the fairytale adaptation thing sort of fell by the wayside. But once or twice every season, they tend to go back to that concept. And I like that even if Frankenstein is not a traditional Germanic Folk Tale, it's well known enough that it can be believably branched out into. Frankly, I have an easier time buying this show adapting it than Once Upon A Time, and I mostly liked that show's version.
I love how delighted Wu and Hank were over the case, because they knew something unusual and amazing was happening. They were gonna have to solve this themselves, with no supernatural outside help. And even if the culprit had Wesen arms, all of the suspects and victims were completely human, which meant it WAS something they could do on their own. And they had fun with it too.
Why did they show all of those clips from the high and low points of Nick and Juliet's relationship? I really hope it's to remind the audience that Nick should never get back with her.
And why doesn't Nick describe the guy in the mirror as a demon to Monroe and Rosalee? Why is this show so afraid to use that word?
I figured the Rosalee giving birth was a dream sequence, but I wasn't sure if it was hers or Monroe's at first. I should have guessed Monroe easily. Only a man could have a dream sequence about a woman easily giving birth to six children from under two minutes from when her water broke. Total dude cluelessness there. And as erudite and learned as Monroe usually is, deep down, he's a typical, dumb guy. I like that because I probably am too and just don't realize it.
Do you know who Diana's actress reminds me of? A young Sheryl Lee! When I saw that photo I recognized Laura Palmer's smile and eyes in it immediately. Hopefully Diana has a better ending. I'm glad Renard's friend was less help than I feared. She doesn't know anything more than our friends do, and quite a bit less than them. Why does she ask Renard if he knows who the mother is? You can ask a mother that about a father, but that is NOT a scenario many if any at ALL fathers ever face.
Strong episode. *****.
Bob's Burgers "There's No Business Like Mr. Business Business"
Gayle episodes tend to be the worst and this was no exception. And don't get me started on the eating cat food thing.
Good things? Somehow, listening to John Oliver pretend to be attacked by a cat sounds as funny as you think it would.
But the episode is otherwise a bummer. **.
Son Of Zorn "All Hail Son Of Zorn"
I've noticed that since they've been dating, Linda has been cutting Zorn a LOT more slack. She's right. He's pretty. And when he calls her a knock-out, that is accurate too.
Loved the way Alan purposefully embarrassed himself at the prom. Taking his mom was a genius move in loserdom. Not sure how the pregnancy is gonna go, but I DO hope there is a season two.
Craig is SO Black Flanders. I laughed because I never made the connection before. But that is what he is.
Hope this gets renewed. ****1/2.
Family Guy "The Finer Strings"
Love the Carrot Top cataract joke (especially since they got him to come back later in the episode) but the "I've got a friend in me" thing was SO gross and tacky, it legitimately upset me. Family Guy at its worst.
Peter's plot was all right, and Brian's plot was all right, but nothing about the episode really gelled. **1/2.
Emerald City "Lions In Winter"
If Lucas winds up killing Dorothy next week, she'll have deserved it. Why on Earth when those gloves appeared did she try to kill Glinda rather than help those suffering children? Ugh.
Interesting that Amon is the Lion and the killer of Ozma's father. He doesn't seem very cowardly to me.
I cannot believe the Wizard is surprised by Ev's betrayal. Him giving her the designs of the gun was one of the dumbest things he has ever done (and that is saying something).
I believe West is a better and more virtuous person than Glinda. And I'd be shocked if it didn't stay that way.
This show is getting outright unpleasant. **.
Emerald City "The Villain That's Become"
In which Toto mauls the Scarecrow.
Dorothy crucifying the Scarecrow to make it so she never entered his life was quite fitting, no? He is no longer the one she loves most of all.
I should have figured something larger was going to happen to Lady Ev upon her going maskless. Why else would she do that unless the writers planned to kill her? And why would the writers plan to kill such a great character other than to show she's a robot? The not wanting people to know she doesn't age thing is a REALLY good explanation for why she wears the masks.
But if Lady Ev IS a robot, why does Jane pretend at first that she can't fix her? I didn't get that bit.
I knew Jane seemed familiar. Now I know exactly where I saw her before.
Frank's pathetic, isn't he? The Big Bad of Oz is NOT the Wicked Witch of the West. I think she is actually benevolent. But the Wizard himself has no redeeming qualities and is the person that makes all of Oz suck.
Sort of defeats the purpose of Ozma if she can freely switch back and forth between genders, but if it's only for this episode, I'll forgive it.
A good one. ****.
Colony "Fallout"
The teaser says that things are this bad everywhere.
What was Nolan thinking with his visit to the camp? How could he not see Snyder doing what he did? While his rationale that if Will couldn't get Bram out of the camp, it might not be possible is sound, his wife is absolutely right that Snyder would have consented if he had asked. And that stunt with the container just means he blew up all his capital anyways. He's saving money from a rainy day while the house is one fire.
I love when Katie says work is now a nest of vipers, Will says "Good thing I'm a snake-charmer." That's a Sawyer line. Full stop.
I love that the scenes of the medical tests were played very naturalistic and without music. It definitely made things feel more real and clinical than an episode of ER ever did.
This show keeps getting more and more interesting week after week. Not always good. But I always want to know what happens next. ****.
Colony "Free Radicals"
Things are going downhill fast.
One of my biggest gripes of the Resistance is that they always target Collaborators instead of Hosts. With the revelation that the block is a death camp, that's pretty much doing the Host's work for them, which makes the Resistance utterly ineffective. Blowing up that spaceship was a big win for them in a way few things are. Granted, I don't think it actually will do anything good, but those kids wanted to hurt the Visitors and they did.
I can't quite recommend the episode though. Because the subtext of the entire thing seems to be beautiful women having sex with well-intentioned but gullible men to get them to do whatever horrible thing they wanted. Granted, Bram's girlfriend actually put her money where mouth was in the end, but there is no part of that Red Hand woman that doesn't suck. And I dislike that subtext, which is why the early episodes of Battlestar Galactica were less than enjoyable. Hopefully this is not the new normal, but I noticed it happened twice in the episode, with different people, and one of them a main cast member (and a virginal kid). I hope this isn't a trend. Because it's icky.
Not quite a passing grade. **1/2.
The Blacklist "The Architect"
If things are truly going this bad for Red, I suspect Dembe. I hope I'm wrong, but being compromised on this level means it's either him or Kaplan, and I do not believe Kaplan would be tempting fate in this way. This more smells like revenge in Kaplan's name by Dembe.
I love when Red asks Dembe how he knows Italian he says "There was a girl." Of course.
The whole painting thing was so stupid. That banker valued the absolute dumbest thing. And Red's talking about killing the guy in front of him who cluelessly goes on painting because he doesn't speak English. But Red is right. If he DID kill him, his final painting would be VERY valuable.
I'm surprised Aram never mentioned that the Architect looks like Data from Star Trek. Glad he got some closure from his ex who betrayed him. That was cute.
I like the idea that Red didn't kill his accountant like his wife thought, but actually helped him try to help her. And she squandered that gift and Red refuses to tell her where her husband is because he's married and he'd also be heartbroken to see what she's become. That was a cool moment.
The stuff with Tom is starting to aggravate me. I know it is for the spin-off but it is super boring. Which tells me the spin-off will be too.
Above Average. ****.
The Blacklist "The Apothecary"
This is the precise reason The Blacklist sucks, and why I ultimately think so little of it. That ripped my guts in half. Conceded. What amazes me is that the writers treat the moment as a twist, and as if I'm supposed to be surprised. I'm not. Dembe was the only suspect in my mind. And as heartbroken as I am, I am far more furious that the writers not only wrecked the character, but thought that by doing that they were surprising me. This is about as shocking as Liz having faked her death. The Liz faking her death thing was the shark jump to end all shark jumps, but in all fairness, if the show just did something like that once, I'd forgive it. This is the exact same type of storytelling, and this and Liz's fake death aren't the only times it's happened. I don't like shows that make the viewers miserable to shock them. But what is understood between the viewer and the better producers of shows who engaged in that trope is that if you plan on shocking the audience to make them miserable, the twist actually has to be a surprise. It's worthless if it isn't, and makes the audience upset for no reason. The shock is the only selling point of ruining friendships and characters. If you see it coming, not only is there no reason to do it, but it just makes the time you DID do it seem utterly pointless.
I do not get how the producers of this show sleep at night with how wrong they do the audience by on a weekly basis. It's pure audacity, and hubris, and pretending the audience is stupider than it actually is. And I've frankly gotten sick of it. 0.
The Blacklist: Redemption "Leland Bray"
Wow, that sucked. Cliched, predictable, paint by numbers, and badly written. Least needed spin-off ever. It makes The Lone Gunmen feel relevant.
Let us itemize the suck. Most of it has to do with Famke Janssen. Ironically, the sucky things involving her have nothing to do with her performance. That's good, but it also shows how ill thought out this show, and her casting was.
First, she has genuine sexual chemistry with Ryan Eggold, which just creeps me out, especially since the show plays it for laughs. But it's not funny. Not even a little. There are some incest plots that could be funny (Arrested Development springs immediately to mind) but you cannot ask that of a weekly drama. That's just not possible.
Secondly, why is her name first in the credits? I get that she's the biggest name, but the show is actually about Tom Keene. I am as about resentful of this as I am Sullivan Stapleton being billed before Jamie Alexander on Blindspot. To be fair to Janssen, she's a legit name, while Stapleton is a nobody. But it feels wrong to have the star of the show billed second in the titles.
Third, there is no way Terry O'Quinn could EVER get Janssen. Patrick Stewart on Next Gen was already a stretch (not completely though; Picard was a hottie on some level), but O'Quinn would have had no shot, even 30 years ago. In fact, that would be even MORE true 30 years ago. Sigh.
That fat computer guy is beyond annoying and creepy. He will NOT be a good substitute for Aram.
Any good things? I like the visual of a woman in a swimsuit jumping onto a moving truck. But that was literally the only memorable thing in this piece of dreck. *.
Blindspot "Borrow Or Rob"
Explain to me why Rich Dotcom doesn't have a spin-off yet.
I laughed at Weller being mistaken for a prostitute, although I DO agree that he seems to be Rich's type. What I am amazed is that Weller didn't say "Meredith? Seriously?" upon hearing Rich's real middle name. I do not think I'd have been able to stay in character after that.
Rowan's plot makes me realize that Jane NEVER should have lied to someone that unstable about something that big. She is headed for a fall when he learns the truth.
Reade's cocaine thing is SO dumb and badly written. I don't know why the writers want me to sympathize with him anymore. He's an outright criminal.
But Rich Dotcom makes everything better. ****1/2.
Blindspot "Draw O Caesar, Erase A Coward"
I like that Patterson immediately knows Reade is using. He's not fooling anyone.
I would say it was good to see John Wesley Shipp, but he was barely onscreen before he was killed.
Average. ***.
Justice League Vs. Teen Titans
This is the best one of these things so far (in this continuity). I'd be inclined to say that's because they opened up the world a bit and introduced new characters and premises, but no, Batman: Bad Blood did that too and it still sucked butt. This film wasn't perfect (I'll get to some complaints) but it's the best featuring this incarnation of the characters.
Let's start off with the bad. Damian Wayne is the most unlikable DC character since Guy Gardener. But at least you are SUPPOSED to hate Gardener. I find it extremely odd that DC expects me to sympathize with someone so needlessly violent and cruel. Luckily, the movie stopped completely being centered around him after a half hour but I am gobsmacked that the creators think I should care about an entitled piece of s*** like Robin. It's like they made Joffrey from Game of Thrones a superhero. I do not get the appeal. At all.
I loved watching him get his @$$ handed to him by Blue Beetle. Movie was worth it just for that. "Am I fighting you or the bug?" "You better hope it's me." Love it.
"That is going to be one awkward call to Batman." You think, Beast Boy? Could you imagine if Damian had actually died on his first day at the hands of another Titan? If I were Blue Beetle I would have pooped a brick.
I like that everything Damian said regarding Ra's in his first solo conversation with Raven mirrored her relationship to Trigon without him even realizing it. Damian is a numbskull.
Something I liked was learning Raven's origin story (including how she got the red thing on her forehead). Suffice it to say, this is the first animated adaptation of that (for obvious reasons). It doesn't explain why the Raven on Teen Titans TAS of Teen Titans Go! has the crystal on her forehead though.
I liked that the movie knew enough about Batman to say he'd poison himself before he'd let himself get taken over by an alien entity. It wasn't really Justice League Vs. Teen Titans when he did that. It was Justice League noticeably absent Batman Vs. Teen Titans when they did that.
I also like that they cured Cyborg earlier than the others, so he could join the Titans in the climax. Frankly, I wish Nightwing had been there too.
Clark's already making fun of Diana's glasses, even before he sees them. What makes your s*** not stink, Kent?
Robin sucks at crowd control.
I love Superman defending Damian to Batman only to get a look of abject fear when Batman gave him the hairy eyeball. It's great for two reasons. 1. Parenting is always a touchy subject. 2. It shows that Superman actually fears Batman on some level. Which is good. Because he should.
Refreshing to see an animated Starfire who is not a total airhead (she knows Robert Frost), but I don't like the costume. It's nowhere NEAR as bad as the comic book version (probably a corporate mandate) but it seems to be another thing about these projects that seems to be the producers way of hoping beyond hope the aging fanboys who eat that stuff up never discovers internet porn. Adult comic books are on some level like phone sex hotlines. Except, the rest of us do not have to suffer through a loser making a call to THAT dying industry. It's kind of sad and embarrassing. The nude transformation into her costume was similarly pathetic.
"Garfield, that was inappropriate." Says the woman dressed like a stripper.
"This IS Azarath," was a very sad line. Poor Raven.
I loved Star throwing a bucket of water on Dick's lust.
How is it an orange woman, a gray girl, and a green boy can walk through a carnival without attracting attention? Granted, it's night, but everyone can still see them.
The idea of Beast Boy licking himself NOT as a dog is a gross and unfunny one. I like that Robin's response to a high five is "Hmmm," though.
Do you know what I like? When Damian wins the sword at the carnival he gives it to an excited little girl rather than a little boy. Girls can be Amazon warriors too, after all.
I love that Batman doesn't actually know if Superman has the ability to rip the moon out of the sky, and actually sounds a bit worried about it. I also love him acknowledging immediately that he knew his plan to have Diana go into hiding was nonsense. "Worth a shot," sums it up.
I also really liked that not only did Damian have a plan to stop Superman, it was the correct plan. Because Superman is their biggest problem in that scenario, and if they get him back, he becomes their biggest asset. No brainer. Sort of like if you go up against a group of superpowered people, you take out the speedster first. And if there IS no speedster, go for the telepath. If there's both, do it in that order. And if you have a speedster and they only have a telepath, you are in fat city. Part of the fun of thinking about superheroes fighting each other is matching their talents and abilities to the particular situation. And that's why it makes sense to go after Superman first.
And Superman seriously crushed Flash's leg. I love Barry's reaction. He kinda overdid there, don't you think? I'm betting he's looking at Diana resentfully and muttering the lasso of truth worked just as well.
Weather Wizard: "Not the face!" Flash is happy to oblige. I groaned at him calling him "Wiz". Calling him a runner was funny though.
Is there a Toyman embargo for these movies now? Because Toymaster just hits the ear completely wrong.
Speaking of which, when Ra's tells Damian he's an Al Ghul, I cringed when Damian retorted "I'm a Titan!". That might make good trailer-bait, but he JUST met them. It would have sounded better to me (and made more sense) if he had said "I'm a Wayne!". Was that line for the trailer truly THAT important? Because it kind of wrecked a potentially awesome moment.
Trigon walks incredibly sloooowwwwlllyyy. Dude needs to watch 28 Days Later. He woulda done better.
I like how his hair looks like a combo of wind and fire when he appears though. That is a cool visual.
The idea that Trigon created the Lazarus Pit is intriguing, but since that wasn't Ra's, it was probably jive. Equally thought-provoking (but true) is the idea that Raven once loved Trigon.
I love that they not only surprisingly introduced the Legion of Doom in this movie, (as hinted at in Throne Of Atlantis) but did it as such to say that all of those ultimate evils are the warm-up act. Lex Luthor is a B lister in the movie, and considering the way Superman humiliatingly punked him in his supersuit, he's treated as such. It's okay. It's probably insured.
Speaking of tags, I hope Terra in the last shot means a Judas Contract movie IS indeed coming. It's long overdue at this point.
Stupid Superman moment: Clark saying "If this is a prank, you're messing with the wrong guy." Stupidest Clark Kent line ever. I cannot believe they had him say that. Yeah, it's true. But I don't care if Clark's alone when he says it, Clark would NEVER say something in the glasses that would tip off the identity so brazenly. It's idiotic and goes against everything Clark tries to do with that persona.
Batman doesn't like Cyborg's pizza but the Titans do. I don't like thinking about where Cyborg's pizza ends up without a stomach either. I loved how embarrassed he was that the league caught him on-camera hanging out with the Titans. And you know what? It is kind of pathetic, at least for the Cyborg in this continuity.
Damian dismissively teaching Starfire about vetting potential teammates is interesting. Because just based on their histories and what the audience has witnessed in the previous movies, Damian is a FAR bigger danger and threat to the Titans than Raven is. He's right that Starfire needs to be a bit more choosy in who she lets into the Tower. What is left unsaid is that if she were, he wouldn't be there.
Speaking of which, NOBODY in the movie comments on the fact that the tower is shaped like a giant T? Nobody? Really? Sigh. Okay. I'll shut my brain off and pretend I'm stupid. The writers obviously think I am anyways, so I'm happy to help.
This movie confirms something that I've always suspected, but realized is true. Music montages do NOT work in superhero cartoons. And there's two of 'em here! They barely work in Disney ones, and that's due to the incredible amount of expensive animation they are able to use. I see here that this is NOT something that should have been attempted until the animation process caught up (affordably) with the technology. This is about as big of a fail as the slow motion animation set to an aria attempted in the otherwise flawless Justice League episode "Maid Of Honor". The irony is that like there, I got exactly what they were going for. But it still didn't work. At all.
Speaking of that, people have complained that Batman is a Mary Sue, but Damian winning a dance competition without ever having danced before ("I'm a quick study" no less), shows that slur belongs to his son. I was screaming "Shut up, Wesley!" to my TV.
I like Beast Boy being incredulous and then impressed that Robin knew how to defeat Superman. That was a funny moment.
Damian saying that Raven is now four times as lucky shows he doesn't know math. Including Starfire, she is FIVE times as lucky, because she is also including herself in that calculation. Ra's obviously never taught Damian his multiplication tables.
I loved Damian being impressed that Batman sacrificed himself to give the Titans a fighting chance and a little bit disgusted that the rest of the League didn't think to do that. I like that compared to Batman, Robin thinks Wonder Woman, Flash, and Cyborg are a buncha lightweights. It's bad in that it again ties into Damian's unhealthy obsession with bloodlines and legacies, but again it's kind of cool that he thinks Batman is the best Leaguer. Because he is.
What Trigon / Diana says she never loved or cared about Superman, I was intrigued. Because she IS in the lasso of truth at that moment. Are we seeing a larger problem behind Superman and Diana than simply miffed Lois and Clark 'shippers?
Also indicating trouble in paradise is the fact that Clark has apparently never told her about Kryptonite. And I gotta say, that's pretty galling. I'm surprised she isn't furious about at the end of the movie. I like to think she read him the riot act off-camera and we just didn't see it because we were focused on the Titans.
Speaking of the Lasso of Truth, I kind of think it is bogus that Superman can use it to command someone else to answer. I kind of think that's the kind of skill that only an Amazon should be able to do.
Another complaint: why is it Beast Boy rips off his costume when he changes into an animal, but when he changes back his costume reforms as if it were PART of the animal. I notice these things, producers. I possess eyes.
I enjoyed this movie far more than I expected I would. ****1/2.
Growing Up Titan:
Interesting that the relaunch in the 1980's took cues from the X-Men, and aside from a couple of old standbys, made up the team of brand new characters. I didn't notice the Greek myth comparisons before this, but now they are obvious. They never said which Titan died in The Judas Contract. Must not want to spoil the movie. "I lie to Batman" IS a great line. I'll give them that. ***.
Heroes And Villains: Raven:
I notice that like the movie, they refuse to outright say Trigon RAPED Raven's mother. It didn't bother me in the movie because it's an entirely new interpretation, but I kind of don't think the producers of these things should be lying about or sanitizing the comics to people who don't know them at all. I confess I don't read very many superhero comics, but I DID know that detail of Raven's conception. Emotionless Raven was not a thing on either Teen Titans kids show. On the old anime series Raven got angry a LOT, and on the reboot she is also usually quite cheerful and bubbly (even if it's morbid things that make her cheerful). Somebody also said that Raven isn't an inherently GOOD character, but just what I know from the Raven from the cartoons, she is. Of course, I know jack about the comics so they might be talking about something else entirely. ***1/2.
Heroes And Villains: Trigon:
I want to give all of the credit in the world to whoever came up with Trigon's origin. It is frickin' Biblical, if a new Bible or Greek Myths was constructed by somebody creating entirely new characters and involving other planets and dimensions. I normally talk down comics books for thinking they are deeper than they are, but that is some Shakespearian level s*** right there for how Trigon was created. Somebody else pointed out that all of the immortal characters in DC Comics are evil. That's weird, isn't it? The doesn't exactly strike me as an inherently evil superpower but that seems to be the mindset for Trigon, Vandal Savage, and Darkseid anyways. I think it's actually pretty weird. Is Jason Blood Immortal? He might be the exception. ****.
A Sneak Peek At DC Universe's Next Animated Movie: Batman: The Killing Joke:
Bruce Timm notes that every once in a while Hamill will state he doesn't want to play the Joker anymore unless it's for The Killing Joke. Whatever I think about The Killing Joke, for good and ill, it at least made Hamill comfortable enough to come back to the role more than once (he'll be reprising it on Justice League Action too). I think the movie is worth it for that. As Timm states, he doesn't know where that voice comes from, but it's uncanny and for an entire generation it IS the Joker. He's wrong about something though. One Bad Day can't turn everyone in the Joker. That was the entire point of the movie. "It's just you." Tara Strong continues to be gorgeous. I love the idea of the prologue and it is probably the reason I like the movie. Barbara is NOT just a victim in the movie that the male characters fret over. She's her own person and this thing effected HER, not just Jim and Batman. I think it's the reason the movie works. Here the producers state that if they wanted, they probably could have gotten a PG-13 if they hadn't toned down anything from the comic. But after seeing the film, I kind of think they are right that the R rating helped things a bit. There's nothing really more violent in the movie than some of the other DTVs like Flashpoint Paradox and other movie have more sexual content. But without ever using R rated language or nudity, the film is for adults simply because it is so disturbing. It is literally only rated R because of the horrifying music in the carnival and Ray Wise's screams of his daughter's name. And I think that's enough. ****.
Batman: Bad Blood Trailer: Great trailer, lousy movie. ****.
Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice: Some of the trailers of this movie were actually pretty good. This is one of the other ones. **1/2.
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