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matt_zimmerAlso reviews for the latest episodes of The Flash, Arrow, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow, Supergirl, Lucifer, iZombie, and Wabbit, the series premiere of Bunnicula, the latest episodes of Marvel's Agent Carter, Star Wars Rebels, The Muppets, The Lion Guard, and Mickey Mouse, the season finale of Galavant, the latest episodes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Power Ranger Dino Super Charge, The X-Files, Sleepy Hollow, Grimm, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, American Dad, The Shannara Chronicles, You Me And The Apocalypse, and The Blacklist, and the first four episodes of Colony.
Upcoming reviews include Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, The Lion Guard: Revenge Of The Roar (DVD), Inside Out (Blu-Ray), The Good Dinosaur (Blu-Ray), Star Wars Rebels: Season 1, Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Attack Of The Legion Of Doom, Batman Unlimited: Monster Mayhem, Teen Titans Go!: House Pests, Batman: Bad Blood, Arrow: Season 3, The Flash: Season 1, Gotham: Season 1, iZombie: Season 1, Be Cool Scooby Doo!: Spooky Kooky Fun!, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Return To NYC!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenge!, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Under The Dome: Season 3, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Doctor Who: Dark Water / Death In Heaven, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), 12 Monkeys: Season 1, Grimm: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 4, and Mulholland Dr..
The Flash "Fast Lane"
I freaking loved this. It ain't the superheroics in the Arrowverse that is the draw to me. It's the human drama. And this episode delivered it.
First off, it is a little ironic (and truthfully annoying) that the things with Iris and Wally and the street racing controversy played out the way they did. Why? Because in any other scenario where there isn't a supervillain flinging cars to and fro, Joe's hands-off approach would have been the correct one. As he noted to Iris, he was trying to get his son to trust him before he starts pulling rank over him. And he's right to do that. And even at the end of the episode when he talks Wally into staying, he reasons him into it, which shows maybe building up a little trust first was the right move. Because Wally was NOT receptive to Iris at all for her judgmental confrontations. Which is partially why Tarpit injuring Iris when he did was so annoying. He proved her right while she was wrong.
Harry's arc is amazing to me. Barry's speed-reading thing is hilarious because it DOES stand to reason he can probably learn quickly too, and it makes me get exactly why Harry was a frustrated with him in the episode as he was. Because Barry is lovable. Barry IS a nice guy. He is going to start liking this kid in spite of himself, which means he won't be able to betray him. And the messed up thing is that he's right. He couldn't go through with it precisely because Barry is so noble and genuine. He even warns him he'll betray him, which is pretty much the dumbest thing you can possibly do if you are in the midst of betraying someone. I think he was trying to subconsciously give Barry a clue so he could stop him.
Him telling the truth was a risk, but I think it was a calculated risk, and he decided that backing Barry was the safer option for his daughter. First off, there is no guarantee Zoom is going to EVER let his daughter go. The fact that Zoom later went back and murdered a cop whose life he earlier spared, should tell Welles exactly how worthy of trust Zoom is in life or death matters. I also think he started to realize that Barry was SO good and noble, there is every chance he'd forgive him for betraying him as far as did, and help him anyways. And if he thought that, he was right. Barry Allen made him a True Believer in the Cult of Flash, and he didn't do it by using his abilities in an amazing way. He did it by using his values in an amazing way.
I think Barry was absolutely right to forgive him, and his lecture about how people whose families are in danger make wrong choices all the time is 100% true, not just on TV, but in reality too. And the rest of Team Flash couldn't argue that. Because he was right.
I think the best moment in the episode was when Cisco delusionally asks who the best hacker in the world is, both Caitlin and Barry immediately (and simultaneously) say "Felicity Smoak". Cisco is crazy if he truly believes there is any other answer.
One of my favorite episodes so far this season. *****.
Arrow "Unchained"
Wow, they are really bringing back Malcolm in a big way. Next week is gonna be bonkers.
Super happy and surprised to see Roy again. I especially liked that it wasn't spoiled in the previews. I love him and Thea parting on good terms, and both acknowledging that if it was up to them they'd spend the future together.
I loved Felicity's cat and mouse with Calculator. We need more computer bad guys Felicity can talk smack to. And he turns out to be her father! Holy poop! Awesomeness forthcoming.
Loved Katana's new costume. Love it.
Oliver's lady friend on the island's reaction to Oliver telling her the truth was the right one. Which shows once again that Slade Wilson is a psychopath.
Felicity experienced prejudice against the disabled for the first time. I can tell you, I didn't like it.
My favorite scene was Curtis and Roy.
Roy: "I don't want to have to hurt you!"
Curtis: "Then don't hurt me!"
Roy: "Then give me the device."
Curtis: "Okay, you may have to hurt me."
Awesome. So much fun.
Malcolm finally consenting to let Thea go without killing people to respect her wishes is an interesting choice. Because it is the first choice he's made about Thea that wasn't selfish. Literally, every other thing he's done "for" her was either conditional on something else that benefited him, or it actually secretly hurt her. I won't dismiss this moment.
Great to see that Colton Haynes will still be making the occasional guest appearances. Which makes me extra glad they didn't kill him off. ****.
DC's Legends Of Tomorrow "Blood Ties"
Okay, I'm going to be the ghoul in the room. Am I the only one who thinks it was a MAJOR missed opportunity and oversight for the heroes not to retrieve the chalice of Carter's blood, drink it, and be given 100 years of Immortality? That is Savage's greatest weapon against them. Having a 100 years of that while fighting him wouldn't suck.
I thought Arrow JUST said last night that Sara didn't suffer from bloodlust due to John Constantine. These shows need to keep their stories straight.
I would have actually preferred if it Stein DID remember Ray, and was simply screwing with him earlier on. Missed opportunity for a cool character moment.
Snart's scene with his boy self was so well acted. Wentworth Miller continues to be amazing. What is interesting is that when he's telling the kid to be strong, he isn't using any supervillain jargon to do so. I think perhaps he's hoping that if his father never gets caught, he never becomes a supervillain in the first place. That is thought-provoking to me.
Yes, Rory, thick means stupid. Heatwave is so freaking funny.
A bit of a let-down to be honest. ***.
Supergirl "Bizarro"
Controversial opinion: that is the best version of Bizarro I have ever seen.
Seriously. Superman's Bizarro sucks, because he makes Superman suck. Superman is the villain in all of his appearances, and each cartoon I've seen use Bizarro, tries to act as if he is one of his rogues. He's not. And Superman still treats Bizarro with disdain, contempt, and condescension. He never makes him feel like anything other than a burden, and hopes that because Bizarro isn't very smart, that he won't be able to read between the lines of Superman's insulting wisecracks and snotty tone. Just thinking about it makes me angry.
Kara is different. Maxwell Lord is the bad guy, and Bizarro is the VICTIM, and Kara never pretends differently. Even when she fights Bizarro, she does so in a defensive manner, so as not to actually hurt her. She is actually broken up about having to tell Alex to take the shot.
Also fantastic is James Olson. I wish he hadn't reached for his watch, but I'd like to think the things he said were genuine. He treated Bizarro like a human being, and he and Kara are the first people I've seen do that. Which is good.
I think I was right about Lord learning the truth being a mistake. Because the show now has two options: the amnesia crutch, or killing him off. Both would be terrible for the show, but I think it's the amnesia thing that is going to happen. Didn't J'onn seem a little TOO convinced by Alex's argument that you have to do anything to protect your loved ones? I think he knows what he is ultimately going to have to do, and is trying to talk himself into doing it. I don't see another way out, do you?
Lord macking on Kara's clone made me want to reach through the TV and strangle him. He is every bit the creep Riddler on Gotham is. And he'll never get called out for that particular sin. Sometimes I think TV sucks, sometimes I think men in general suck. Here, it's a bit of both.
Bizarro DOES talk like Cookie Monster! Why is this the first time someone has pointed that out?
When did Win get so insightful about relationships? I loved his earlier moment with James when Kara announced she had a date. They were having a secret competition to one-up each other in how cool they were with it, when they both hated the idea. And I love the fact that even if Kara doesn't get it, both of them are aware of the subtext in the conversation, and decide the best way to get into Kara's good romantic graces is to encourage her to date someone else. People are goofy, aren't they? I especially love that they both realize that is what is happening, are sort of making fun of each other in that moment, and not stopping doing the inadvisable behavior in the first place, even if its stupid. It's like they know they are shmucks, but they cannot stop being shmucks for any reason. It's a matter of pride at this point. I find it funny that being a loser is SUCH a big deal to each of them that they fight over who sucks more. It's hilarious.
I cannot say enough good things about this episode. ****1/2.
Lucifer "Lucifer, Stay. Good Devil"
Okay this show is not going to work at all. There is absolutely no sane reason Lucifer should be going on police investigations, and it is VERY concerning to me that the writers haven't given him a reason to. Because, that should be like JOB ONE, and something that should be easily explained on the first day.
A procedural was a bad idea for the concept. I imagine it went down this way because Fox thought if they kept the show "grounded" they wouldn't upset Middle America. Well, they haven't created great television either.
Query: Is Lucifer the Devil or the son of the Devil? He refers to himself as Satan and the Devil several times, but also talks about a father who is unhappy he left his post. Is he Satan's son? If not, is his father, gulp, GOD? Is him being out of Hell screwing with God's grand design? I'd like that idea, but I think it's more likely the show hasn't made up it's mind yet. Which is annoying.
Speaking of which, I would just like to state how absolutely sick I am of Jeremy Davies constantly playing tweakers and freaks. Dude could have written his own ticket after Lost. He's a good looking guy, and could pretty much have gotten a good leading role in a TV or movie project. No, Davies CHOOSES to have a career this sucky. Sure, Johnny Depp plays freaks too. But he was smart enough to build up the credibility first. Now Davies is going to get typecast as losers from now on. I bet someone like Grimm's Silas Weir Mitchell WISHES they looked as handsome as Davies did, and could choose as many different kinds of roles Davies was probably getting offered at one point. Because once Monroe is done, Mitchell is back to playing crazy homeless people. And this is the career Davies chooses for himself. It's a little bit maddening.
Chloe is not a very smart mom if she thought he daughter didn't know about her nudie movie. As she says, the internet exists. She probably doesn't even get cr*p about it from her friends. They're probably impressed.
The scene at the end of Lucifer trying to get the guy to pull the trigger while Chloe talked him down shows why the show is going to fail. It was riveting television... but the absolute wrong thing to do in a police procedural. Because that just makes Lucifer a hindrance rather than a help, and gives Chloe an even bigger reason to kick him to the curb.
I love the ideas this show explores. I wish we had gotten to do more of that instead of being stuck with a warmed-over cop drama. A big let-down from last week. **1/2.
iZombie "Fifty Shades Of Grey Matter"
Three things:
1. I would pay money to hear Kristen Bell read a dirty book on tape. Rob Thomas keeps his connections.
2. Daniella Alonso is a Goddess. Seeing her made-up instead of as grimy as she was forced to stay on Revolution makes her a knock-out. And I already thought she was.
3. This show's season finale is going to be amazing. All of the threads with Blaine and Mr. Boss and Peyton and Major and Clive and his girlfriend, everything is coming crashing together in a way it wasn't last year. The only open question is who is going to be charged with what. Major is certainly a murderer, and Clive has always suspected him. Blaine is even worse (at least the Major didn't understand the zombies he killed last year were people) but he obviously has powerful connections. And what could they possibly say to explain the extent of his crimes without sounding completely insane? I loved the scene where Clive's FBI girlfriend keep laying out the evidence against Blaine, and Clive gets happier and happier. I'm calling it now: the second season finale will be the best episode of the series.
Things are getting good. ****1/2.
Wabbit "Bugsfoot / Grim On Vacation"
Bugsfoot: I loved all of the small talk the government agents were making, and how it sounded like they were talking out of walkie-talkies. Very weird and funny effect. I liked how he could tell that was Bigfoot because his eye color was different. The Satchel / Purse thing reminds me of the Handbag / Purse debate on The Looney Tunes Show. That was one underrated cartoon. ****.
Grim On Vacation: I love that Grim's name is Carl, and I found the childish drawings of his fantasy to be hysterical. I keep wondering why Cheryl doesn't drop dead when she kisses him. Family Guy's Death wishes he was that lucky. ***1/2.
Episode Overall: ****.
Bunnicula "Mumkey Business"
I was a big fan of the Bunnicula books as a kid and was really excited that they were making a cartoon based on it. But everything about the cartoon is wrong. It's not like it's a bad cartoon, but it takes nothing good from the premise and might as well used a different concept entirely.
Harold being stupid offends me. Harold was clever and reasonable in the books. It was refreshing to see a dog portrayed as having more common sense and wisdom than a cat. Now Harold is a cliche. He's like every other cartoon dog that ever existed. Harold is no longer special.
What gets me is that the books are still in print and still popular. I can't imagine kids who liked the book being anything but disappointed in this. *.
Bunnicula "Walking Fish"
A couple of other complaints. While the books were humorous books, they weren't cartoony. They tried to make them somewhat believable, including Harold's manuscripts. Bunnicula isn't Bugs Bunny and never has been.
Secondly, in the books Bunnicula isn't actually supernatural. There's some hints that he's a version of a vampire rabbit, but nothing magical occurs because of him. In fact, one of the morals of the first book is that Chester goes overboard in believing Bunnicula in a monster. By turning him into an actual monster, the show just made Chester right. Which is something he should never, ever be.
I don't even know why they wanted to adapt this property if they weren't going to do it right. *.
Marvel's Agent Carter "Smoke & Mirrors"
I love that Peggy wasn't always magnificence. What a great message for little girls in the audience that they can become as brave and strong as Peggy if they decide to be. And I love that it was Peggy who ultimately made the decision to take the job in remembrance of her brother. So cool.
Peggy and Jarvis are so much fun. I laughed at the sight of his face passed out against the car window.
Chris Mulkey needs to get more work. Aside from being Hank Jennings on Twin Peaks, he was Shriek on Batman Beyond. Very underrated actor.
Loved it. ****.
Star Wars Rebels "Legends Of The Lasat"
Couple of things:
1. Love, love, LOVE Jim Cummings as Hondo. His funniest voice performance since Don Karnage. Anybody else remember Don Karnage? Holy poop!
2. I love the unambiguously happy ending. A puppies and rainbows happy ending. We haven't been getting that in Star Wars since Jedi, and I'm glad to see not only the good guys win, but that one of the characters is actually better off now than when he started the saga.
Cool episode. ****.
The Muppets "Swine Song"
While I think this show needs to be more family friendly, and cool it on the adult themes and language, I think the very real problem it has is Kermit and Piggy not being a thing. If them getting back together is a network mandate as part of the retooling, I'm cool with that. More comedy bits and musical numbers don't really matter. It's always been about the Pig and Frog to me.
That Penguin is pretty much the darlingest Muppet this incarnation has ever give us. Gloria Estafon even gets Uncle Deadly to name-drop embarrassing incidents with the real Gloria. And I kind of love the Penguin pulling on his tendrils. SO cute and snuggly.
Uncle Deadly's reaction to Scooter is pretty much how every single person who ever meets Scooter should treat him for the rest of his life. He is pretty much beneath contempt as far as interesting personalities go.
Good Bobo: Failing to cross his fingers and saying "Wish me luck" instead. Bad Bobo: doing a reading from a book in eubonics. It hits the ear wrong. Completely.
Key and Peele are always awesome. That will never change. We finally learn why their show ended too.
Honestly, I never really thought the show NEEDED to be retooled, but if they are pushing Kermit and Piggy back together, they are fixing the one thing wrong with it. ****.
The Lion Guard "Can't Wait To Be Queen"
The songs on this show continue to be great.
I think Jeff Bennett does a REALLY good impression of Rowan Atkinson. Good recasts on the show.
Except for Simba's singing voice. He sounds nothing like Rob Lowe, which might not be a problem if they had Lowe do the speaking parts of the song. Since they don't, he is about as convincing as Aladdin's singing voice, i.e. not at all.
This is a cute series though. ***1/2.
The Lion Guard "Eye Of The Beholder"
Khary Payton isn't exactly a soundalike for Rafiki but his voice is still joyous and rich. Another recast I am on-board with.
This was a cute episode too. ***1/2.
Mickey Mouse "Dancevidaniya"
I loved the music, and the animation on the Russian dancers was terrific. I also liked the resolution of Mickey foiling Pete by turning into a Russian shell doll. ****.
Galavant "Battle Of The Three Armies"
Outstanding. I like that they reprised the excellent Galavant Theme at the beginning, which is like the show's one good song. And I love how brave Richard is being, and that he and Gareth forgave each other instantly. That was the right lesson, and why Richard WILL unite the Kingdoms.
I liked the observation that there is a difference between being a horrible person and being evil. And Gareth refuses to put even a toe across that line. That's awesome.
The weak link of the episode was Wormwood. And I kind of have the same problem with him as I do Grima Wormtongue. He's kind of grody. He's not enticing or attractive. He isn't convincing and doesn't make the Dark Side sound like a measurably better place to be. Maybe that's part of the joke, but Wormwood is mostly an annoyance to me, rather than an Ultimate Evil.
Great episode. *****.
Galavant "The One True King (To Unite Them All)"
That was pretty much perfect. It was everything last season's disappointing finale was not. Richard got two killer lines "You may have killed one dragon, but you've awakened another" and "I have a dragon." I am unsurprised Tad Cooper was actually a dragon. He was pretty much the most perfect looking lizard ever. Breathing fire was definitely in its future.
I love that the prophecy that Richard would unite the kingdoms came true, and that Gareth and Sid are going to spend next season saving Madelina from herself (assuming there is a next season). But just in case there isn't, the writers gave us a happy ending anyways.
I have my complaints about this series. But these last two episodes were phenomenal. If it DOESN'T get renewed, this is a fantastic stopping point. *****.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "The War For Dimnesion X"
Epic. I liked it.
I liked that the entire Utrom Council was named after chess pieces. I love that there IS a good Irma Utrom who is basically a radiant goddess. And most of all, I love that Gilbert Gottfried has grown into his role as Kraang Subprime (Knight?). Gottfried was always genius stunt casting for the "real" Irma, but I think this episode showed a confidence and depth to his performance that simply wasn't there in the second and third seasons. It's not just that Subprime is cruel that is fascinating. He is sadistic. He enjoys causing pain and misery. Gleefully telling the Salamanderians their new home is his dungeon shows a real malevolence to the character. Which shows why he is probably a really bad fit for the hivemind, and for the Utroms too, for that matter.
I loved finally getting the real origin story of the Utroms and the Kraang. Frankly, it was better than I was ever expecting. I kind of expected them to half-@$$ it, since the Utroms seemed to appear out of nowhere at the end of season 3, and mostly seemed designed to placate enraged comic fans. But I think the mythology fits really well together, and as if the Utroms could have been part of the plan from the beginning. I'm not stupid enough to believe they were, but the writers mostly kept their stories straight.
I am still amazed Cassandra Peterson is Mrs. Campbell. Whenever I see Elvira on television, her voice is the last thing I pay attention to. And yet, Andrea Romano was able to coax out a really good performance. Genius casting like that is another reason Andrea Romano is national treasure. She is to cartoon voices as Molly Ivins was to politics.
Raph making out with Mona Lisa is pretty much the farthest a Turtle has ever gotten with a girl. And I kind of now see why. It's creepy and disturbing. Less, please.
Very cool nonetheless. ****1/2.
Power Rangers: Dino Super Charge "Forgive And Forget"
"You're BOTH winners!"
"Dino Super Drive rocks! Yeah!"
Those two sentences should explain why my grade is so low.
Heckyll is an interesting character to me because he's scarier in his human form. He reminds me a bit of Mon-Star from Silverhawks, whose monster appearance was MUCH more frightening before he transformed into a robot. I get that the Rangers have to fight monsters and not humans, but I always feel like the Rangers are missing out on the only fight worth having.
Sucky. *.
The X-Files "Mulder And Scully Meet The Were-Monster"
Has Darin Morgan gotten soft in his old age? That was positive and hopeful in a way none of his other episodes have been. But since he's done so few of them, I really should compare them. He hasn't written one since season three, even if he did a couple of Millenniums afterwards.
I was truthfully a little disappointed. "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose", "War Of The Coprophages", and "Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space'" were all mini events that screwed with the storytelling, and made you laugh at how cartoonish things had gotten. Even his Millennium episodes were bonkers, and the best thing that show ever did. This was much more straightforward. It brought to mind his first episode, the freak show outing entitled "Humbug". When that aired, that was pretty much the best X-Files episode up to that point, so I won't dismiss another episode of that quality. But Darin Morgan has done much crazier.
In doing another "Humbug" type episode, the question that needs to be asked is, is the gimmick as funny as a mutant killer conjoined twin eaten by a circus geek? I don't think the concept of a Lizard Monster who turns into a man is that level of subversive, but it IS subversive enough to be unpredictable, and the last way I was expecting the episode to go. Which is Darin Morgan in a nutshell, and what he's all about.
It's interesting that Mulder is the skeptic during most of the episode, and Scully does a reasonable facsimile to a believer. I tend to agree with her opinion that Mulder is batpoop insane, BUT, and this is a big butt, she was absolutely right that even if the case WAS bogus, there were still murders going on, and as FBI agents they have a responsibility to make sure no-one else is killed. And it kind of bothers me that Mulder has to have that pointed out to him. Mulder's skepticism seems to be as narcissistic now as his tin foil hat obsessions used to be. Another reason Mulder sucks: he says he isn't going to bust the Motel owner for being a peeping Tom. Well, why not? Exactly what was there about that particular scenario that told Mulder that someone sexually violating all of his guests is something that is no big deal? How is that his call to make? And why the h*ll does he actually NOT consider that a big deal? I get that Mulder is a porn enthusiast, but that involves consenting people. There is nothing consensual about hiding behind a mounted stuffed animal head and watching people undress. Who is Mulder to let him get away with that?
Mulder talking about transgender people was an interesting evolution for the character. In the past, Mulder has called transgendered people transvestites, and showed borderline disdain / amusement for them. It seem like Mulder has gotten a little more politically aware about gender identity in the missing years. He is still uncomfortable enough that he doesn't explain it properly. But the Mulder from the original series would have acted like there was something wrong with the woman, other than the fact that she was on crack.
Tyler Labine being in the episode tells me this relaunch will not get a second season. Fun fact: he was on the original series. I'm not positive, but he might have been the kid in the forest who tells his buddy he has to drain the lizard. I never forgot that euphemism.
Good Scully brought up that she is Immortal. Interestingly enough, the series has NEVER done anything to contradict that idea, and in fact did an episode cementing it. It's nice to know that both Mulder and Scully are aware it is a definite thing.
I love the fact that the huffers have paint on their faces. Because, face it, that probably happens. But we NEVER see that on television because it looks stupid. Well, so what? I think huffers ARE stupid. Mulder's expression upon seeing their painted faces in the file was the correct one.
That sex scene with Scully was pretty much the hottest thing they ever got Gillian Anderson to do. Do you know the messed up thing? I'm glad it happened on the relaunch. Anderson is MUCH more physically attractive as a middle-aged woman than she was as a young woman. That scene would not have wowed me if Anderson did it in her 20's. She looks SO much hotter now.
The episode was as meta as the best Darin Morgan episodes, if not as crazy. I liked it. ****1/2.
Sleepy Hollow "One Life"
The new Friday timeslot concerns me. It is no longer the death knell it used to be, because Fringe lasted three seasons in it, and went out on its own terms, and Bones was temporarily housed here and turned out fine, but what it DOES mean is that Fox has lost faith in the show. It is no longer one of its banner selling points, but it's an unsexy show that Fox doesn't bother to cancel because it gets decent ratings and reviews. It's the drama version of Bob's Burgers or King of the Hill. Frankly, that happened to Fringe too, which is probably another reason I am not TOO worried.
But if it DOES change time slots again, that's the end. Bones can shift slots indefinitely because it is a straight procedural with no actual serialized storytelling. Sleepy Hollow will be much harder for fans to dip in and out of if they miss an episode. That is why it is such a good thing OnDemand and downloads now exist. That might mean it still has a shot.
How was the episode? I think the thing that moved me most was Jenny's extremely relieved reaction to Joe being alive and not getting killed. Great stuff and you realize SHE realized for the first time that she loved him. Do you know what I REALLY love? They cut away right after the kiss. We don't see ANY of the sex scene than invariably followed. That's refreshing and shows that Sleepy Hollow is not That Show and never will be. I take comfort in that.
The season is so-so, but frankly most of my other genre network TV faves are imploding. Outside of the still strong Arrowverse, Grimm, Once Upon A Time, and Agents of SHIELD are all turning to cr*p, and quicker than I ever expected them to. It just shows all great shows are about five bad episodes away from being terrible shows. Sleepy Hollow hasn't had those five episodes yet. And I hope we're lucky enough that it doesn't get them. ***1/2.
Grimm "A Reptile Dysfunction"
First things first, this whole Eve thing is stupid. Forget the fact that Bitsie Tulloch is terrible actress who can't play bad@$$ to save her life. Frankly, I didn't even realize Tulloch WAS a bad actress until the end of last year. No what bugs me about the concept of Eve is that the writers are having Juliet pretend like she didn't do the things she did, and as if they were irrelevant. I have heard of show going through hoops to make it so their characters aren't really responsible for their evil actions, but that is a bridge too far. How are we supposed to believe Eve is a different person? Tulloch plays her exactly the same as she did Juliet in the last few episodes of the season. Grimm has a bunch of hard to swallow concepts that we had previously been willing to overlook because the show used to be so much fun. Now that it is no longer fun, I am no longer willing to overlook them.
The guy running for mayor is Wesen and in Black Claw. I can't understand why the show thinks I could possibly take this scenario at face value with everything else that is going on.
Monrosalee continues to be a grounding influence and the only good thing on the show.
I like that the fairytale quote this week came from P.T. Barnum.
I think the most effective thing in the episode was the beginning where the wife saw all of that blood bubble out of the water. And I couldn't help but think that must have been horrific to go through. It wasn't just a horror movie moment, it was an outright horrible moment. That couple went out for a quiet day in the lake, and their lives were destroyed in seconds. That is tragic to me, and I kind of think that the show should have really focused on the wife in the aftermath, but she is a non-entity in the rest of the episode. It would have probably meant something to me if Nick had been able to promise to her to catch whoever was responsible. I think that moment moved me more than the writers intended. Which is not necessarily a good thing.
I'm back to thinking this show cannot recover from last year. Two episodes ago with the Juliet reveal they had a chance. They blew it. Both this show and Once Upon A Time both went down the cr*pper at the same time and wound up being unfixable in their most recent episodes too. Genre network television continues to disappoint. I expect David Lynch to save us all with Twin Peaks on Showtime. **.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "Karen Peralta"
All right. But I noticed that none of the three plots were outstanding. Even in the so-so episodes we usually get one storyline that is amazing. Yawn. **.
American Dad "The Life Aquatic With Steve Smith"
That was idiotic. The idea of Klaus helping Steve cheat at water polo by being in his swimtrunks was a level of plot stupidity that suggests they are running out of ideas in the writer's room. And the drummer thing was just plain weird.
I would have liked Roger and Stan's plot more if they had actually involved Jeff. The idea that sailing is the first and only thing he is good at is an interesting concept. Why weren't allowed to see it? Still, I DID love how in synch Stan and Roger were on the insurance fraud thing, even if they miscommunicated what TYPE of insurance to get. And I do have to admit that guy saying sailing is like standing under a cold shower and ripping up hundred dollar bills is a super cool saying. I cannot deny that. But the episode, for lack of a better word, sucked. **.
The Shannara Chronicles "Pykon"
Too dark and disturbing, and more dark and disturbing than I am willing to tolerate. Is Allanon really dead? If so, I'll be ticked. **.
You, Me And The Apocalypse "An Erotic Odyssey"
The Church stuff is the big draw of the show here. Is the President the Anti-Christ? And even if he isn't, is that the direction Rob Lowe's priest will be pointed? TBD.
Loved how Ariel figured out Jenna Fisher was bluffing about her husband, and that it was really her son. Cool moment.
From what they said in that meeting, this really will BE an extinction level event. If there is a second season, I don't see how the remaining cast can possibly leave the bunker. The show is huge now. Next season it won't be.
Teen Wolf moment. Excellent. For the record, that movie totally sucked.
I'm loving this show so far. This wasn't as good as the Pilot, but second episodes never are. It was still insanely cool. ****1/2.
The Blacklist "Alistair Pitt"
Both of Red's murders at the end of the episode were righteous. I was as steamed as he was.
The FBI agent getting killed was poetic justice too. He just did NOT know when to keep his mouth shut.
NBC made that woman kissing Tom seem like a bigger deal than it actually was.
The episode's weakness was Tony Shaloub as Pitt. He was TOO ridiculous. He was a cartoon and I can't think of another Blacklister who was more of one. Next week looks to have similar problem.
So-so. **1/2.
Colony "Pilot"
I like that the episode started off as if it was giving us a prologue set before the crisis, before slowly revealing we were already in the middle of the crisis. Very interesting choice.
I get why Katie joined the Resistance. It was the only logical thing to do. Now the Resistance will leave her husband alone. He would have been a target otherwise.
What I find interesting about this series is that many unusual innocuous phrases turn out to be codewords to hide your intentions. I also am a little bit alarmed that the teenagers seem to have lingo similar to the droogs from A Clockwork Orange.
I saw Peter Jacobson play a wryly hilarious and charismatic lawyer on Law & Order once, and it made me utterly disgusted with House M.D. for wasting that guy's talent. House was such a crap show. Seriously. I hated it. Jacobson was capable of SO much more, and this series proves it.
Will and Katie's sex scene in the middle of the episode was pretty much the most emotionally sad sex I've ever seen on TV. It resonated because it seemed to be the only way they could communicate in that moment. Powerful stuff.
I'm wondering if we'll ever see the aliens at all. From the way the series is set up, we might not even need to. But I won't deny I'll feel ripped off if we eventually don't.
Great first episode. ****.
Colony "Brave New World"
Carl Weathers, man. Awesome. I love that Bo is lazy and doesn't care about his job. And really, why should he?
The naked group in the factory makes the concentration camp allegory explicit. Truly frightening concept.
Good second episode. ***1/2.
Colony "98 Seconds"
The kids on this show are just as resourceful and interesting as the kids in a Spielberg movie. It's empty beyond the wall? Interesting.
What is so fabulous about Will and Katie is that they are both excellent at their jobs, secretly working against other, and each time the both of them succeed, the better the rewards for the entire family. It's okay to root for both because a good outcome comes from either. That is a very interesting dynamic to me and an irresistible hook. If one of them were better at this game than the other, the show might lose a bit of its appeal for me.
I'm really starting to dig this. ****.
Colony "Blind Spot"
That was a rollercoaster and back and forth to which side would win. Phyllis was ID-ed. Bad break for the Collaborators. The Pirate broadcast were busted. Bad new for the Resistance. At first glance it looks like a push until Phyllis shows up in the Yonk with a picture and tells Katie she works for her. Bad news for the good guys. Until Phyllis is killed showing that Geronimo learning about Phyllis was definitely the more damaging thing to happen between the two sides this week.
I love the moment where Phyllis begs the guy to mercy kill her husband too. What a great scene.
I do have a nit: I think Katie's plan was reckless. Because she had no idea about the variables involved, like the fact that Graham had those tapes in his room. How could she not guess that an explosion in her house would lead to it being searched? Part of me thinks the Resistance knew that would happen, and was planning to hang her out to dry after they got the info they did. We'll never know for sure.
The opening scene was scary. Busting down the doors for a schoolteachers having her students read Farenheit 451 is amazing. Nobody who hates that book seems to understand it.
Another great episode. ****.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Retreat!
A soccer mom edition DVD of the first seven episodes of the Turtles' third season. No outright great episodes on the set, but I really disliked the ones with the Dream Beavers (In Dreams), and the Chimera (Eyes Of The Chimera). Disc Overall: ***.
Within The Woods:
The Creep is a legit slasher movie villain. He's in overalls, wears a potato sack (then a hockey mask) on his head, and carries a pitchfork. And in the best horror movie fashion, the way the heroes kill him is quite gruesome. Not sold on the rest of the episode. April's grim narration at the farmhouse worked for the comic book, and even the 2003 series, but this is too ridiculous an incarnation to try to pull that off, and take it seriously at the same time. And the series just made another huge mistake. They said Leo sounds different because his throat was damaged. That is one of the stupidest storytelling decisions the series has ever made, but it fits in line with the fact that the writers will think some idea sounds neat and cool, without realizing it's never been done before because it sucks. You don't need to explain a new voice actor. The reason no other show has done that before is because it is drawing attention to it. Now, whenever I hear Leo, no matter the reason, he sounds injured, and "wrong". I would never have even thought to go there if they hadn't tried to come up with a "nifty" explanation for why Seth Green doesn't sound like Jason Biggs. This show is REALLY bad at this stuff. Also incompetent was Don scarily saying he didn't know if he could save Raph, transitioning into Raph opening up his eyes. For an episode that is ostensibly a horror movie, the show sucks at suspense in that moment. ***1/2.
A Foot Too Big:
Good and bad. While it was good to finally have an episode to show Donnie how inappropriate his hovering behavior is with April, I feel like the episode botched it by buying the moral back at the end. Raph was so great this episode. When Donnie feels bad he tries to cheer him up and he is the one who so insightfully points out the Bigfoot / April parallels that Donnie is unable to argue with them. I loved him playfully punching Donnie to cheer him up: "Wanna do some trainin'? Huh? Huh?" Jesse Ventura was an interesting choice to voice The Finger. Deidrich Bader is unrecognizable as Bigfoot too. I love Mikey being upset that he totally could have guessed Donnie's devastated reaction after all. And I love that Bigfoot and Ice Cream Kitty scare each other equally. On the negative side, I think Leo and Casey were a little too cruel, and Bigfoot ending up with the Finger is just plain weird. Plus, I'm wondering if either the writers or the censors know what "amazeballs" means. One joke I like, that I missed the first few times, is Donnie putting the word "The" in front of Finger when addressing him. "Bad move, The Finger" sounds WAY more condescending and insulting than had he just said "Bad move, Finger." He's basically mocking him in that moment. I also like the spider so big he plays the banjo. ***.
Buried Secrets:
That was legitimately frightening. The shock of fake Donnie running up the stairs at a crippled Leo was boarded like a horror movie, as was the part where the Turtles' heads are pushing out of the creature's body. "We can be together. No more pain. No more sorrow. One of us." If I was a kid and saw this I'd have nightmares for weeks. I find it interesting that it is Mikey who is the one insightful about Mrs. O'Neill being bad news. Because he is the LAST character who should be getting that correct vibe because nobody will believe him. And I gotta say, him raising the nun-chucks when he did was completely out of line in the moment he did it. He didn't actually have a legit reason to attack April's mother the second he did it, and I'm glad the Turtles gave that messed up behavior the weight it deserved by tying him up. I especially love that it is Casey who has April's best interest at heart in this moment. Does Mikey have any idea how much this means to April? He'd better not mess it up. It was also not lost on me that Mikey's greatest fear of what was in the basement was an evil clown, and that the final face of the creature definitely had some clown-like qualities to it. I would have liked to have seen Mikey's dance-off with Ice Cream Kitty. (I.C. Scat Cat?) Mae Whitman's scream after the line "I'm your mother!" was pretty much perfect in how horrified it was. Best line goes to Raph (to Mikey): "What'd I tell ya about being stupid, ya moron?" The glowing frogs at the end were great foreshadowing too. One nit: Mikey not remembering where the mutagen spilled does NOT track with his photographic memory. I could have excused it in season 2, but not season 3. Do you know what I love? The "Not it!" moment. Because that is totally a kids thing to do. And completely NOT in the spirit of any superhero. People on the Justice League don't beg off going first so their teammates can get eaten instead. What I love is that it reminds me that despite the show using so many superhero tropes, the Turtles themselves aren't actually superheroes. And some of the Turtles' properties forget that (See the recent movie making the Turtles bullet-proof). It was really cool. ****.
The Croaking:
Jon Heder as Napoleon Bonafrog? I've said it before, and I'll say it again: voice casting director Andrea Romano is a national treasure. I like that in this continuity the Mutant frogs are not evil, but misguided, and that Napoleon is a genuine good guy. Him being made general at the end was a pleasant surprise. I'm not sure a general needs "heart" to do his job, but I'll take an ending that sappy any way I can get it. I loved that Genghis wound up calling him "Sir" in spite of himself. That showed there were no real hard feelings. I think the animation timing on Napoleon when he said either "Idiots!" or "Gosh!" was amazing. They captured everything about Heder's expression and the lanky way he carried his body in that movie. Speaking of spot-on movie impressions, Maurice La Marche as Attila's Brandoesque "The horror! The horror!" was excellent too. I loved when Raph was glad that the confusion with the frogs believing they were rescuing them was cleared up, so they could actually fight. Raph was getting tired of that conversation. That hug between Raph and Mikey was only weird because Raph MADE it weird. Another great bit of foreshadowing was the last shot of the car splashing in mutagen. I also love how it was April who stuck up for Mikey with Raph. If you look closely at the wanted poster with the Turtles on it you'll briefly see that one of them has the horrid Michael Bay design. Best line goes to Napoleon: "In your face, Rasputin!" Here are some unanswered questions: where did Napoleon learn about the concept of ninjitsu in the first place? Where did the Frogs learn enough about Asian warriors / tyrants to name themselves after them? And where did they get the human clothes? All of these questions are worth asking and the episode keeps them open-ended. ***1/2.
In Dreams:
Every time I start to like this show, they'll deliver an episode that reminds me why I don't. And the messed up thing is I'm betting the writers are not aware of how bad at their jobs they are. Like saying Leo's throat was damaged, I'm sure having a crazy guy chase Casey around with a chainsaw sounded like a hilarious idea in the writer's room. But Casey is a 14-year-old boy. The scenario is actually horrific, and the show is so sick it tries to play it for laughs. It's also completely inappropriate for children. I personally think the Nick censors should have stepped in here. What are they for if not to put a stop to horrible things like this? And the ending is a rip-off to the Fear Demon from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I would have liked the black-and-white comic book world better if they had reverted the Turtles to their original 2-D comic book designs. Any other things of interest to note? Robert "Freddy Krueger" Englund and John "Cryptkeeper" Kassir playing the Dream Beavers shows AGAIN that Andrea Romano is good at HER job at least, and I found the idea that Dave the Beaver isn't actually evil, quite thought-provoking. The only reason he ISN'T evil, is because Mikey isn't actually afraid of him. If Mikey were smarter, he would be. I'd kind of like to have heard more about the time Mikey learned his lesson the hard way about taking advice from a talking lollipop. April's visage being on the coffee can was cool too. John Kassir as Dave's line reading of "I spy with my little eye... something GREEN!" was actually quite menacing. Bernie is SUCH a creep. His twitchy bulbous eyes, the fact that his mouth never fully closes, he is unsettling in a way the Beavers are not. The fact that he's a good guy makes him a bigger creep in my mind. I also loved that Bernie's first reaction upon entering the farmhouse is noting the retro TV, April being a little bit annoyed the talking Turtles don't warrant a mention, and Bernie being amazed that they could see them too. I'll admit it. That was a good joke. But the good things were few and far between this episode. 1/2.
Race With The Demon:
Well, we learned one thing. The Kraang spell "Kraang" with a "k" and theirs is the only opinion that matters on the subject. Is Casey even old enough to drive? I always picture him like 13 or 14 years old. Dr. Cluckingsworth M.D. is a welcome addition to the cast. Not as cool as Ice Cream Kitty because he's actually gross, but he's funny too. I liked Donnie's Hunter S. Thompsonesque design when he became the Speed Demon. Speaking of which, that was a frightening design for a car. The insides looking like the inside of a mouth freaked me out. If Christine had ever had a visual like that no-one would have had a problem with it. My biggest groan was when Casey put on the hockey mask before going into the high speed chase at the end. That was dumb. Hockey masks obscure peripheral vision completely. It's bad enough Casey wears it when he fights. He shouldn't be wearing it in a life and death chase. I especially like that Casey give Donnie a plausible reason why he gets to drive: a giant Turtle driving a hippie van would be suspicious. Sometimes the most obvious answers are the correct ones. Bad things: I think Casey always bemoaning new Mutants is starting to sound a bit racist at this point. And he never shuts it off. ***1/2.
Eyes Of The Chimera:
Another big writing mistake for the series. This one was written by Greg Weisman, so that's not unprecedented, but it still sucks. Showing those dozens of skeletons in the Chimera's nest was a terrible idea. Not just because it says that this monster has been on a mass murder spree directly due to the Turtles' carelessness, but because the monster isn't killed, it means the problem isn't solved, and the mass murders are going to keep piling up while the Turtles are back in New York. Do you know what's messed up? I think this was a conscious storytelling choice by Weisman, and he was well aware of the gruesome implications. And since he's writing for a show geared to seven year olds, that is a terrible bit of writing right there. I also was revolted when April put her hands in the creature's gills and gunk came out. Repulsive. The part where April tries to eat Leo was lame and unfunny too, a Weisman specialty. Any things I liked? I loved the moment where Leo grumbles that he can't believe April talked him into this, and her disgustedly telling him she shouldn't have had to. That was a great moment for both characters right there, and probably the best moment the two of them have ever shared on the entire series. I just wish it wasn't in an episode that otherwise sucked so much. Other things of note: the definition of a Chimera and a turducken is alarmingly similar, and I really appreciated Raph being upset that he was the only one who had his grappling hook. And when Casey defensively tries to go the "Who could have foreseen?" route, Raph is insightful enough to point out that with their life trajectory, it was FAR more likely that they'd be kidnapped by a giant mutant, than that they wouldn't be. I like that. **.
The Mutation Of A Scene:
Seven storyboards / animatics. Overall: ***1/2.
Within The Woods: Cool to get an animatic for a recap. What's weird is that April's drawn storyboard design is a thousand times better than what is put on the screen in CGI. ****1/2.
A Foot Too Big: "Do Turtles burrow in the wild?" Mikey is so dumb. He's only been in the wild if Jersey counts. I like that Raph's initial reaction to Bigfoot once he gets over the shock is happiness that he gets to fight someone. That's Raphael in a nutshell. Sean Astin's line reading of "Looks like we're going to get some REAL training" was sublime. ****.
Buried Secrets: Interesting choice for an animatic. A housecleaning scene boarded like an action movie. The storyboard actually uses a live-action picture of an evil clown. ***1/2.
The Croaking: I love both Napoleon Bonafrog calling Mikey's skills "Totally sweet ninjitsu skills" and his dance performance "This free demo." Got Jon Heder perfectly. ****.
In Dreams: I like Sean Astin's line reading on "Some rest should help." Because you can tell he isn't sure he believes it. There is nothing he can do to help his brother and it is REALLY scaring him. ****1/2.
Race With The Demon: Still not 100% on the logic of a mutated car, but whatevs. ***1/2.
Eyes Of The Chimera: In an episode comprised mostly of sucky scenes, it is unsurprising they couldn't find an interesting animatic to show us. *.
Upcoming reviews include Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, The Lion Guard: Revenge Of The Roar (DVD), Inside Out (Blu-Ray), The Good Dinosaur (Blu-Ray), Star Wars Rebels: Season 1, Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Attack Of The Legion Of Doom, Batman Unlimited: Monster Mayhem, Teen Titans Go!: House Pests, Batman: Bad Blood, Arrow: Season 3, The Flash: Season 1, Gotham: Season 1, iZombie: Season 1, Be Cool Scooby Doo!: Spooky Kooky Fun!, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Return To NYC!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenge!, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Under The Dome: Season 3, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Doctor Who: Dark Water / Death In Heaven, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), 12 Monkeys: Season 1, Grimm: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 4, and Mulholland Dr..
The Flash "Fast Lane"
I freaking loved this. It ain't the superheroics in the Arrowverse that is the draw to me. It's the human drama. And this episode delivered it.
First off, it is a little ironic (and truthfully annoying) that the things with Iris and Wally and the street racing controversy played out the way they did. Why? Because in any other scenario where there isn't a supervillain flinging cars to and fro, Joe's hands-off approach would have been the correct one. As he noted to Iris, he was trying to get his son to trust him before he starts pulling rank over him. And he's right to do that. And even at the end of the episode when he talks Wally into staying, he reasons him into it, which shows maybe building up a little trust first was the right move. Because Wally was NOT receptive to Iris at all for her judgmental confrontations. Which is partially why Tarpit injuring Iris when he did was so annoying. He proved her right while she was wrong.
Harry's arc is amazing to me. Barry's speed-reading thing is hilarious because it DOES stand to reason he can probably learn quickly too, and it makes me get exactly why Harry was a frustrated with him in the episode as he was. Because Barry is lovable. Barry IS a nice guy. He is going to start liking this kid in spite of himself, which means he won't be able to betray him. And the messed up thing is that he's right. He couldn't go through with it precisely because Barry is so noble and genuine. He even warns him he'll betray him, which is pretty much the dumbest thing you can possibly do if you are in the midst of betraying someone. I think he was trying to subconsciously give Barry a clue so he could stop him.
Him telling the truth was a risk, but I think it was a calculated risk, and he decided that backing Barry was the safer option for his daughter. First off, there is no guarantee Zoom is going to EVER let his daughter go. The fact that Zoom later went back and murdered a cop whose life he earlier spared, should tell Welles exactly how worthy of trust Zoom is in life or death matters. I also think he started to realize that Barry was SO good and noble, there is every chance he'd forgive him for betraying him as far as did, and help him anyways. And if he thought that, he was right. Barry Allen made him a True Believer in the Cult of Flash, and he didn't do it by using his abilities in an amazing way. He did it by using his values in an amazing way.
I think Barry was absolutely right to forgive him, and his lecture about how people whose families are in danger make wrong choices all the time is 100% true, not just on TV, but in reality too. And the rest of Team Flash couldn't argue that. Because he was right.
I think the best moment in the episode was when Cisco delusionally asks who the best hacker in the world is, both Caitlin and Barry immediately (and simultaneously) say "Felicity Smoak". Cisco is crazy if he truly believes there is any other answer.
One of my favorite episodes so far this season. *****.
Arrow "Unchained"
Wow, they are really bringing back Malcolm in a big way. Next week is gonna be bonkers.
Super happy and surprised to see Roy again. I especially liked that it wasn't spoiled in the previews. I love him and Thea parting on good terms, and both acknowledging that if it was up to them they'd spend the future together.
I loved Felicity's cat and mouse with Calculator. We need more computer bad guys Felicity can talk smack to. And he turns out to be her father! Holy poop! Awesomeness forthcoming.
Loved Katana's new costume. Love it.
Oliver's lady friend on the island's reaction to Oliver telling her the truth was the right one. Which shows once again that Slade Wilson is a psychopath.
Felicity experienced prejudice against the disabled for the first time. I can tell you, I didn't like it.
My favorite scene was Curtis and Roy.
Roy: "I don't want to have to hurt you!"
Curtis: "Then don't hurt me!"
Roy: "Then give me the device."
Curtis: "Okay, you may have to hurt me."
Awesome. So much fun.
Malcolm finally consenting to let Thea go without killing people to respect her wishes is an interesting choice. Because it is the first choice he's made about Thea that wasn't selfish. Literally, every other thing he's done "for" her was either conditional on something else that benefited him, or it actually secretly hurt her. I won't dismiss this moment.
Great to see that Colton Haynes will still be making the occasional guest appearances. Which makes me extra glad they didn't kill him off. ****.
DC's Legends Of Tomorrow "Blood Ties"
Okay, I'm going to be the ghoul in the room. Am I the only one who thinks it was a MAJOR missed opportunity and oversight for the heroes not to retrieve the chalice of Carter's blood, drink it, and be given 100 years of Immortality? That is Savage's greatest weapon against them. Having a 100 years of that while fighting him wouldn't suck.
I thought Arrow JUST said last night that Sara didn't suffer from bloodlust due to John Constantine. These shows need to keep their stories straight.
I would have actually preferred if it Stein DID remember Ray, and was simply screwing with him earlier on. Missed opportunity for a cool character moment.
Snart's scene with his boy self was so well acted. Wentworth Miller continues to be amazing. What is interesting is that when he's telling the kid to be strong, he isn't using any supervillain jargon to do so. I think perhaps he's hoping that if his father never gets caught, he never becomes a supervillain in the first place. That is thought-provoking to me.
Yes, Rory, thick means stupid. Heatwave is so freaking funny.
A bit of a let-down to be honest. ***.
Supergirl "Bizarro"
Controversial opinion: that is the best version of Bizarro I have ever seen.
Seriously. Superman's Bizarro sucks, because he makes Superman suck. Superman is the villain in all of his appearances, and each cartoon I've seen use Bizarro, tries to act as if he is one of his rogues. He's not. And Superman still treats Bizarro with disdain, contempt, and condescension. He never makes him feel like anything other than a burden, and hopes that because Bizarro isn't very smart, that he won't be able to read between the lines of Superman's insulting wisecracks and snotty tone. Just thinking about it makes me angry.
Kara is different. Maxwell Lord is the bad guy, and Bizarro is the VICTIM, and Kara never pretends differently. Even when she fights Bizarro, she does so in a defensive manner, so as not to actually hurt her. She is actually broken up about having to tell Alex to take the shot.
Also fantastic is James Olson. I wish he hadn't reached for his watch, but I'd like to think the things he said were genuine. He treated Bizarro like a human being, and he and Kara are the first people I've seen do that. Which is good.
I think I was right about Lord learning the truth being a mistake. Because the show now has two options: the amnesia crutch, or killing him off. Both would be terrible for the show, but I think it's the amnesia thing that is going to happen. Didn't J'onn seem a little TOO convinced by Alex's argument that you have to do anything to protect your loved ones? I think he knows what he is ultimately going to have to do, and is trying to talk himself into doing it. I don't see another way out, do you?
Lord macking on Kara's clone made me want to reach through the TV and strangle him. He is every bit the creep Riddler on Gotham is. And he'll never get called out for that particular sin. Sometimes I think TV sucks, sometimes I think men in general suck. Here, it's a bit of both.
Bizarro DOES talk like Cookie Monster! Why is this the first time someone has pointed that out?
When did Win get so insightful about relationships? I loved his earlier moment with James when Kara announced she had a date. They were having a secret competition to one-up each other in how cool they were with it, when they both hated the idea. And I love the fact that even if Kara doesn't get it, both of them are aware of the subtext in the conversation, and decide the best way to get into Kara's good romantic graces is to encourage her to date someone else. People are goofy, aren't they? I especially love that they both realize that is what is happening, are sort of making fun of each other in that moment, and not stopping doing the inadvisable behavior in the first place, even if its stupid. It's like they know they are shmucks, but they cannot stop being shmucks for any reason. It's a matter of pride at this point. I find it funny that being a loser is SUCH a big deal to each of them that they fight over who sucks more. It's hilarious.
I cannot say enough good things about this episode. ****1/2.
Lucifer "Lucifer, Stay. Good Devil"
Okay this show is not going to work at all. There is absolutely no sane reason Lucifer should be going on police investigations, and it is VERY concerning to me that the writers haven't given him a reason to. Because, that should be like JOB ONE, and something that should be easily explained on the first day.
A procedural was a bad idea for the concept. I imagine it went down this way because Fox thought if they kept the show "grounded" they wouldn't upset Middle America. Well, they haven't created great television either.
Query: Is Lucifer the Devil or the son of the Devil? He refers to himself as Satan and the Devil several times, but also talks about a father who is unhappy he left his post. Is he Satan's son? If not, is his father, gulp, GOD? Is him being out of Hell screwing with God's grand design? I'd like that idea, but I think it's more likely the show hasn't made up it's mind yet. Which is annoying.
Speaking of which, I would just like to state how absolutely sick I am of Jeremy Davies constantly playing tweakers and freaks. Dude could have written his own ticket after Lost. He's a good looking guy, and could pretty much have gotten a good leading role in a TV or movie project. No, Davies CHOOSES to have a career this sucky. Sure, Johnny Depp plays freaks too. But he was smart enough to build up the credibility first. Now Davies is going to get typecast as losers from now on. I bet someone like Grimm's Silas Weir Mitchell WISHES they looked as handsome as Davies did, and could choose as many different kinds of roles Davies was probably getting offered at one point. Because once Monroe is done, Mitchell is back to playing crazy homeless people. And this is the career Davies chooses for himself. It's a little bit maddening.
Chloe is not a very smart mom if she thought he daughter didn't know about her nudie movie. As she says, the internet exists. She probably doesn't even get cr*p about it from her friends. They're probably impressed.
The scene at the end of Lucifer trying to get the guy to pull the trigger while Chloe talked him down shows why the show is going to fail. It was riveting television... but the absolute wrong thing to do in a police procedural. Because that just makes Lucifer a hindrance rather than a help, and gives Chloe an even bigger reason to kick him to the curb.
I love the ideas this show explores. I wish we had gotten to do more of that instead of being stuck with a warmed-over cop drama. A big let-down from last week. **1/2.
iZombie "Fifty Shades Of Grey Matter"
Three things:
1. I would pay money to hear Kristen Bell read a dirty book on tape. Rob Thomas keeps his connections.
2. Daniella Alonso is a Goddess. Seeing her made-up instead of as grimy as she was forced to stay on Revolution makes her a knock-out. And I already thought she was.
3. This show's season finale is going to be amazing. All of the threads with Blaine and Mr. Boss and Peyton and Major and Clive and his girlfriend, everything is coming crashing together in a way it wasn't last year. The only open question is who is going to be charged with what. Major is certainly a murderer, and Clive has always suspected him. Blaine is even worse (at least the Major didn't understand the zombies he killed last year were people) but he obviously has powerful connections. And what could they possibly say to explain the extent of his crimes without sounding completely insane? I loved the scene where Clive's FBI girlfriend keep laying out the evidence against Blaine, and Clive gets happier and happier. I'm calling it now: the second season finale will be the best episode of the series.
Things are getting good. ****1/2.
Wabbit "Bugsfoot / Grim On Vacation"
Bugsfoot: I loved all of the small talk the government agents were making, and how it sounded like they were talking out of walkie-talkies. Very weird and funny effect. I liked how he could tell that was Bigfoot because his eye color was different. The Satchel / Purse thing reminds me of the Handbag / Purse debate on The Looney Tunes Show. That was one underrated cartoon. ****.
Grim On Vacation: I love that Grim's name is Carl, and I found the childish drawings of his fantasy to be hysterical. I keep wondering why Cheryl doesn't drop dead when she kisses him. Family Guy's Death wishes he was that lucky. ***1/2.
Episode Overall: ****.
Bunnicula "Mumkey Business"
I was a big fan of the Bunnicula books as a kid and was really excited that they were making a cartoon based on it. But everything about the cartoon is wrong. It's not like it's a bad cartoon, but it takes nothing good from the premise and might as well used a different concept entirely.
Harold being stupid offends me. Harold was clever and reasonable in the books. It was refreshing to see a dog portrayed as having more common sense and wisdom than a cat. Now Harold is a cliche. He's like every other cartoon dog that ever existed. Harold is no longer special.
What gets me is that the books are still in print and still popular. I can't imagine kids who liked the book being anything but disappointed in this. *.
Bunnicula "Walking Fish"
A couple of other complaints. While the books were humorous books, they weren't cartoony. They tried to make them somewhat believable, including Harold's manuscripts. Bunnicula isn't Bugs Bunny and never has been.
Secondly, in the books Bunnicula isn't actually supernatural. There's some hints that he's a version of a vampire rabbit, but nothing magical occurs because of him. In fact, one of the morals of the first book is that Chester goes overboard in believing Bunnicula in a monster. By turning him into an actual monster, the show just made Chester right. Which is something he should never, ever be.
I don't even know why they wanted to adapt this property if they weren't going to do it right. *.
Marvel's Agent Carter "Smoke & Mirrors"
I love that Peggy wasn't always magnificence. What a great message for little girls in the audience that they can become as brave and strong as Peggy if they decide to be. And I love that it was Peggy who ultimately made the decision to take the job in remembrance of her brother. So cool.
Peggy and Jarvis are so much fun. I laughed at the sight of his face passed out against the car window.
Chris Mulkey needs to get more work. Aside from being Hank Jennings on Twin Peaks, he was Shriek on Batman Beyond. Very underrated actor.
Loved it. ****.
Star Wars Rebels "Legends Of The Lasat"
Couple of things:
1. Love, love, LOVE Jim Cummings as Hondo. His funniest voice performance since Don Karnage. Anybody else remember Don Karnage? Holy poop!
2. I love the unambiguously happy ending. A puppies and rainbows happy ending. We haven't been getting that in Star Wars since Jedi, and I'm glad to see not only the good guys win, but that one of the characters is actually better off now than when he started the saga.
Cool episode. ****.
The Muppets "Swine Song"
While I think this show needs to be more family friendly, and cool it on the adult themes and language, I think the very real problem it has is Kermit and Piggy not being a thing. If them getting back together is a network mandate as part of the retooling, I'm cool with that. More comedy bits and musical numbers don't really matter. It's always been about the Pig and Frog to me.
That Penguin is pretty much the darlingest Muppet this incarnation has ever give us. Gloria Estafon even gets Uncle Deadly to name-drop embarrassing incidents with the real Gloria. And I kind of love the Penguin pulling on his tendrils. SO cute and snuggly.
Uncle Deadly's reaction to Scooter is pretty much how every single person who ever meets Scooter should treat him for the rest of his life. He is pretty much beneath contempt as far as interesting personalities go.
Good Bobo: Failing to cross his fingers and saying "Wish me luck" instead. Bad Bobo: doing a reading from a book in eubonics. It hits the ear wrong. Completely.
Key and Peele are always awesome. That will never change. We finally learn why their show ended too.
Honestly, I never really thought the show NEEDED to be retooled, but if they are pushing Kermit and Piggy back together, they are fixing the one thing wrong with it. ****.
The Lion Guard "Can't Wait To Be Queen"
The songs on this show continue to be great.
I think Jeff Bennett does a REALLY good impression of Rowan Atkinson. Good recasts on the show.
Except for Simba's singing voice. He sounds nothing like Rob Lowe, which might not be a problem if they had Lowe do the speaking parts of the song. Since they don't, he is about as convincing as Aladdin's singing voice, i.e. not at all.
This is a cute series though. ***1/2.
The Lion Guard "Eye Of The Beholder"
Khary Payton isn't exactly a soundalike for Rafiki but his voice is still joyous and rich. Another recast I am on-board with.
This was a cute episode too. ***1/2.
Mickey Mouse "Dancevidaniya"
I loved the music, and the animation on the Russian dancers was terrific. I also liked the resolution of Mickey foiling Pete by turning into a Russian shell doll. ****.
Galavant "Battle Of The Three Armies"
Outstanding. I like that they reprised the excellent Galavant Theme at the beginning, which is like the show's one good song. And I love how brave Richard is being, and that he and Gareth forgave each other instantly. That was the right lesson, and why Richard WILL unite the Kingdoms.
I liked the observation that there is a difference between being a horrible person and being evil. And Gareth refuses to put even a toe across that line. That's awesome.
The weak link of the episode was Wormwood. And I kind of have the same problem with him as I do Grima Wormtongue. He's kind of grody. He's not enticing or attractive. He isn't convincing and doesn't make the Dark Side sound like a measurably better place to be. Maybe that's part of the joke, but Wormwood is mostly an annoyance to me, rather than an Ultimate Evil.
Great episode. *****.
Galavant "The One True King (To Unite Them All)"
That was pretty much perfect. It was everything last season's disappointing finale was not. Richard got two killer lines "You may have killed one dragon, but you've awakened another" and "I have a dragon." I am unsurprised Tad Cooper was actually a dragon. He was pretty much the most perfect looking lizard ever. Breathing fire was definitely in its future.
I love that the prophecy that Richard would unite the kingdoms came true, and that Gareth and Sid are going to spend next season saving Madelina from herself (assuming there is a next season). But just in case there isn't, the writers gave us a happy ending anyways.
I have my complaints about this series. But these last two episodes were phenomenal. If it DOESN'T get renewed, this is a fantastic stopping point. *****.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "The War For Dimnesion X"
Epic. I liked it.
I liked that the entire Utrom Council was named after chess pieces. I love that there IS a good Irma Utrom who is basically a radiant goddess. And most of all, I love that Gilbert Gottfried has grown into his role as Kraang Subprime (Knight?). Gottfried was always genius stunt casting for the "real" Irma, but I think this episode showed a confidence and depth to his performance that simply wasn't there in the second and third seasons. It's not just that Subprime is cruel that is fascinating. He is sadistic. He enjoys causing pain and misery. Gleefully telling the Salamanderians their new home is his dungeon shows a real malevolence to the character. Which shows why he is probably a really bad fit for the hivemind, and for the Utroms too, for that matter.
I loved finally getting the real origin story of the Utroms and the Kraang. Frankly, it was better than I was ever expecting. I kind of expected them to half-@$$ it, since the Utroms seemed to appear out of nowhere at the end of season 3, and mostly seemed designed to placate enraged comic fans. But I think the mythology fits really well together, and as if the Utroms could have been part of the plan from the beginning. I'm not stupid enough to believe they were, but the writers mostly kept their stories straight.
I am still amazed Cassandra Peterson is Mrs. Campbell. Whenever I see Elvira on television, her voice is the last thing I pay attention to. And yet, Andrea Romano was able to coax out a really good performance. Genius casting like that is another reason Andrea Romano is national treasure. She is to cartoon voices as Molly Ivins was to politics.
Raph making out with Mona Lisa is pretty much the farthest a Turtle has ever gotten with a girl. And I kind of now see why. It's creepy and disturbing. Less, please.
Very cool nonetheless. ****1/2.
Power Rangers: Dino Super Charge "Forgive And Forget"
"You're BOTH winners!"
"Dino Super Drive rocks! Yeah!"
Those two sentences should explain why my grade is so low.
Heckyll is an interesting character to me because he's scarier in his human form. He reminds me a bit of Mon-Star from Silverhawks, whose monster appearance was MUCH more frightening before he transformed into a robot. I get that the Rangers have to fight monsters and not humans, but I always feel like the Rangers are missing out on the only fight worth having.
Sucky. *.
The X-Files "Mulder And Scully Meet The Were-Monster"
Has Darin Morgan gotten soft in his old age? That was positive and hopeful in a way none of his other episodes have been. But since he's done so few of them, I really should compare them. He hasn't written one since season three, even if he did a couple of Millenniums afterwards.
I was truthfully a little disappointed. "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose", "War Of The Coprophages", and "Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space'" were all mini events that screwed with the storytelling, and made you laugh at how cartoonish things had gotten. Even his Millennium episodes were bonkers, and the best thing that show ever did. This was much more straightforward. It brought to mind his first episode, the freak show outing entitled "Humbug". When that aired, that was pretty much the best X-Files episode up to that point, so I won't dismiss another episode of that quality. But Darin Morgan has done much crazier.
In doing another "Humbug" type episode, the question that needs to be asked is, is the gimmick as funny as a mutant killer conjoined twin eaten by a circus geek? I don't think the concept of a Lizard Monster who turns into a man is that level of subversive, but it IS subversive enough to be unpredictable, and the last way I was expecting the episode to go. Which is Darin Morgan in a nutshell, and what he's all about.
It's interesting that Mulder is the skeptic during most of the episode, and Scully does a reasonable facsimile to a believer. I tend to agree with her opinion that Mulder is batpoop insane, BUT, and this is a big butt, she was absolutely right that even if the case WAS bogus, there were still murders going on, and as FBI agents they have a responsibility to make sure no-one else is killed. And it kind of bothers me that Mulder has to have that pointed out to him. Mulder's skepticism seems to be as narcissistic now as his tin foil hat obsessions used to be. Another reason Mulder sucks: he says he isn't going to bust the Motel owner for being a peeping Tom. Well, why not? Exactly what was there about that particular scenario that told Mulder that someone sexually violating all of his guests is something that is no big deal? How is that his call to make? And why the h*ll does he actually NOT consider that a big deal? I get that Mulder is a porn enthusiast, but that involves consenting people. There is nothing consensual about hiding behind a mounted stuffed animal head and watching people undress. Who is Mulder to let him get away with that?
Mulder talking about transgender people was an interesting evolution for the character. In the past, Mulder has called transgendered people transvestites, and showed borderline disdain / amusement for them. It seem like Mulder has gotten a little more politically aware about gender identity in the missing years. He is still uncomfortable enough that he doesn't explain it properly. But the Mulder from the original series would have acted like there was something wrong with the woman, other than the fact that she was on crack.
Tyler Labine being in the episode tells me this relaunch will not get a second season. Fun fact: he was on the original series. I'm not positive, but he might have been the kid in the forest who tells his buddy he has to drain the lizard. I never forgot that euphemism.
Good Scully brought up that she is Immortal. Interestingly enough, the series has NEVER done anything to contradict that idea, and in fact did an episode cementing it. It's nice to know that both Mulder and Scully are aware it is a definite thing.
I love the fact that the huffers have paint on their faces. Because, face it, that probably happens. But we NEVER see that on television because it looks stupid. Well, so what? I think huffers ARE stupid. Mulder's expression upon seeing their painted faces in the file was the correct one.
That sex scene with Scully was pretty much the hottest thing they ever got Gillian Anderson to do. Do you know the messed up thing? I'm glad it happened on the relaunch. Anderson is MUCH more physically attractive as a middle-aged woman than she was as a young woman. That scene would not have wowed me if Anderson did it in her 20's. She looks SO much hotter now.
The episode was as meta as the best Darin Morgan episodes, if not as crazy. I liked it. ****1/2.
Sleepy Hollow "One Life"
The new Friday timeslot concerns me. It is no longer the death knell it used to be, because Fringe lasted three seasons in it, and went out on its own terms, and Bones was temporarily housed here and turned out fine, but what it DOES mean is that Fox has lost faith in the show. It is no longer one of its banner selling points, but it's an unsexy show that Fox doesn't bother to cancel because it gets decent ratings and reviews. It's the drama version of Bob's Burgers or King of the Hill. Frankly, that happened to Fringe too, which is probably another reason I am not TOO worried.
But if it DOES change time slots again, that's the end. Bones can shift slots indefinitely because it is a straight procedural with no actual serialized storytelling. Sleepy Hollow will be much harder for fans to dip in and out of if they miss an episode. That is why it is such a good thing OnDemand and downloads now exist. That might mean it still has a shot.
How was the episode? I think the thing that moved me most was Jenny's extremely relieved reaction to Joe being alive and not getting killed. Great stuff and you realize SHE realized for the first time that she loved him. Do you know what I REALLY love? They cut away right after the kiss. We don't see ANY of the sex scene than invariably followed. That's refreshing and shows that Sleepy Hollow is not That Show and never will be. I take comfort in that.
The season is so-so, but frankly most of my other genre network TV faves are imploding. Outside of the still strong Arrowverse, Grimm, Once Upon A Time, and Agents of SHIELD are all turning to cr*p, and quicker than I ever expected them to. It just shows all great shows are about five bad episodes away from being terrible shows. Sleepy Hollow hasn't had those five episodes yet. And I hope we're lucky enough that it doesn't get them. ***1/2.
Grimm "A Reptile Dysfunction"
First things first, this whole Eve thing is stupid. Forget the fact that Bitsie Tulloch is terrible actress who can't play bad@$$ to save her life. Frankly, I didn't even realize Tulloch WAS a bad actress until the end of last year. No what bugs me about the concept of Eve is that the writers are having Juliet pretend like she didn't do the things she did, and as if they were irrelevant. I have heard of show going through hoops to make it so their characters aren't really responsible for their evil actions, but that is a bridge too far. How are we supposed to believe Eve is a different person? Tulloch plays her exactly the same as she did Juliet in the last few episodes of the season. Grimm has a bunch of hard to swallow concepts that we had previously been willing to overlook because the show used to be so much fun. Now that it is no longer fun, I am no longer willing to overlook them.
The guy running for mayor is Wesen and in Black Claw. I can't understand why the show thinks I could possibly take this scenario at face value with everything else that is going on.
Monrosalee continues to be a grounding influence and the only good thing on the show.
I like that the fairytale quote this week came from P.T. Barnum.
I think the most effective thing in the episode was the beginning where the wife saw all of that blood bubble out of the water. And I couldn't help but think that must have been horrific to go through. It wasn't just a horror movie moment, it was an outright horrible moment. That couple went out for a quiet day in the lake, and their lives were destroyed in seconds. That is tragic to me, and I kind of think that the show should have really focused on the wife in the aftermath, but she is a non-entity in the rest of the episode. It would have probably meant something to me if Nick had been able to promise to her to catch whoever was responsible. I think that moment moved me more than the writers intended. Which is not necessarily a good thing.
I'm back to thinking this show cannot recover from last year. Two episodes ago with the Juliet reveal they had a chance. They blew it. Both this show and Once Upon A Time both went down the cr*pper at the same time and wound up being unfixable in their most recent episodes too. Genre network television continues to disappoint. I expect David Lynch to save us all with Twin Peaks on Showtime. **.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "Karen Peralta"
All right. But I noticed that none of the three plots were outstanding. Even in the so-so episodes we usually get one storyline that is amazing. Yawn. **.
American Dad "The Life Aquatic With Steve Smith"
That was idiotic. The idea of Klaus helping Steve cheat at water polo by being in his swimtrunks was a level of plot stupidity that suggests they are running out of ideas in the writer's room. And the drummer thing was just plain weird.
I would have liked Roger and Stan's plot more if they had actually involved Jeff. The idea that sailing is the first and only thing he is good at is an interesting concept. Why weren't allowed to see it? Still, I DID love how in synch Stan and Roger were on the insurance fraud thing, even if they miscommunicated what TYPE of insurance to get. And I do have to admit that guy saying sailing is like standing under a cold shower and ripping up hundred dollar bills is a super cool saying. I cannot deny that. But the episode, for lack of a better word, sucked. **.
The Shannara Chronicles "Pykon"
Too dark and disturbing, and more dark and disturbing than I am willing to tolerate. Is Allanon really dead? If so, I'll be ticked. **.
You, Me And The Apocalypse "An Erotic Odyssey"
The Church stuff is the big draw of the show here. Is the President the Anti-Christ? And even if he isn't, is that the direction Rob Lowe's priest will be pointed? TBD.
Loved how Ariel figured out Jenna Fisher was bluffing about her husband, and that it was really her son. Cool moment.
From what they said in that meeting, this really will BE an extinction level event. If there is a second season, I don't see how the remaining cast can possibly leave the bunker. The show is huge now. Next season it won't be.
Teen Wolf moment. Excellent. For the record, that movie totally sucked.
I'm loving this show so far. This wasn't as good as the Pilot, but second episodes never are. It was still insanely cool. ****1/2.
The Blacklist "Alistair Pitt"
Both of Red's murders at the end of the episode were righteous. I was as steamed as he was.
The FBI agent getting killed was poetic justice too. He just did NOT know when to keep his mouth shut.
NBC made that woman kissing Tom seem like a bigger deal than it actually was.
The episode's weakness was Tony Shaloub as Pitt. He was TOO ridiculous. He was a cartoon and I can't think of another Blacklister who was more of one. Next week looks to have similar problem.
So-so. **1/2.
Colony "Pilot"
I like that the episode started off as if it was giving us a prologue set before the crisis, before slowly revealing we were already in the middle of the crisis. Very interesting choice.
I get why Katie joined the Resistance. It was the only logical thing to do. Now the Resistance will leave her husband alone. He would have been a target otherwise.
What I find interesting about this series is that many unusual innocuous phrases turn out to be codewords to hide your intentions. I also am a little bit alarmed that the teenagers seem to have lingo similar to the droogs from A Clockwork Orange.
I saw Peter Jacobson play a wryly hilarious and charismatic lawyer on Law & Order once, and it made me utterly disgusted with House M.D. for wasting that guy's talent. House was such a crap show. Seriously. I hated it. Jacobson was capable of SO much more, and this series proves it.
Will and Katie's sex scene in the middle of the episode was pretty much the most emotionally sad sex I've ever seen on TV. It resonated because it seemed to be the only way they could communicate in that moment. Powerful stuff.
I'm wondering if we'll ever see the aliens at all. From the way the series is set up, we might not even need to. But I won't deny I'll feel ripped off if we eventually don't.
Great first episode. ****.
Colony "Brave New World"
Carl Weathers, man. Awesome. I love that Bo is lazy and doesn't care about his job. And really, why should he?
The naked group in the factory makes the concentration camp allegory explicit. Truly frightening concept.
Good second episode. ***1/2.
Colony "98 Seconds"
The kids on this show are just as resourceful and interesting as the kids in a Spielberg movie. It's empty beyond the wall? Interesting.
What is so fabulous about Will and Katie is that they are both excellent at their jobs, secretly working against other, and each time the both of them succeed, the better the rewards for the entire family. It's okay to root for both because a good outcome comes from either. That is a very interesting dynamic to me and an irresistible hook. If one of them were better at this game than the other, the show might lose a bit of its appeal for me.
I'm really starting to dig this. ****.
Colony "Blind Spot"
That was a rollercoaster and back and forth to which side would win. Phyllis was ID-ed. Bad break for the Collaborators. The Pirate broadcast were busted. Bad new for the Resistance. At first glance it looks like a push until Phyllis shows up in the Yonk with a picture and tells Katie she works for her. Bad news for the good guys. Until Phyllis is killed showing that Geronimo learning about Phyllis was definitely the more damaging thing to happen between the two sides this week.
I love the moment where Phyllis begs the guy to mercy kill her husband too. What a great scene.
I do have a nit: I think Katie's plan was reckless. Because she had no idea about the variables involved, like the fact that Graham had those tapes in his room. How could she not guess that an explosion in her house would lead to it being searched? Part of me thinks the Resistance knew that would happen, and was planning to hang her out to dry after they got the info they did. We'll never know for sure.
The opening scene was scary. Busting down the doors for a schoolteachers having her students read Farenheit 451 is amazing. Nobody who hates that book seems to understand it.
Another great episode. ****.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Retreat!
A soccer mom edition DVD of the first seven episodes of the Turtles' third season. No outright great episodes on the set, but I really disliked the ones with the Dream Beavers (In Dreams), and the Chimera (Eyes Of The Chimera). Disc Overall: ***.
Within The Woods:
The Creep is a legit slasher movie villain. He's in overalls, wears a potato sack (then a hockey mask) on his head, and carries a pitchfork. And in the best horror movie fashion, the way the heroes kill him is quite gruesome. Not sold on the rest of the episode. April's grim narration at the farmhouse worked for the comic book, and even the 2003 series, but this is too ridiculous an incarnation to try to pull that off, and take it seriously at the same time. And the series just made another huge mistake. They said Leo sounds different because his throat was damaged. That is one of the stupidest storytelling decisions the series has ever made, but it fits in line with the fact that the writers will think some idea sounds neat and cool, without realizing it's never been done before because it sucks. You don't need to explain a new voice actor. The reason no other show has done that before is because it is drawing attention to it. Now, whenever I hear Leo, no matter the reason, he sounds injured, and "wrong". I would never have even thought to go there if they hadn't tried to come up with a "nifty" explanation for why Seth Green doesn't sound like Jason Biggs. This show is REALLY bad at this stuff. Also incompetent was Don scarily saying he didn't know if he could save Raph, transitioning into Raph opening up his eyes. For an episode that is ostensibly a horror movie, the show sucks at suspense in that moment. ***1/2.
A Foot Too Big:
Good and bad. While it was good to finally have an episode to show Donnie how inappropriate his hovering behavior is with April, I feel like the episode botched it by buying the moral back at the end. Raph was so great this episode. When Donnie feels bad he tries to cheer him up and he is the one who so insightfully points out the Bigfoot / April parallels that Donnie is unable to argue with them. I loved him playfully punching Donnie to cheer him up: "Wanna do some trainin'? Huh? Huh?" Jesse Ventura was an interesting choice to voice The Finger. Deidrich Bader is unrecognizable as Bigfoot too. I love Mikey being upset that he totally could have guessed Donnie's devastated reaction after all. And I love that Bigfoot and Ice Cream Kitty scare each other equally. On the negative side, I think Leo and Casey were a little too cruel, and Bigfoot ending up with the Finger is just plain weird. Plus, I'm wondering if either the writers or the censors know what "amazeballs" means. One joke I like, that I missed the first few times, is Donnie putting the word "The" in front of Finger when addressing him. "Bad move, The Finger" sounds WAY more condescending and insulting than had he just said "Bad move, Finger." He's basically mocking him in that moment. I also like the spider so big he plays the banjo. ***.
Buried Secrets:
That was legitimately frightening. The shock of fake Donnie running up the stairs at a crippled Leo was boarded like a horror movie, as was the part where the Turtles' heads are pushing out of the creature's body. "We can be together. No more pain. No more sorrow. One of us." If I was a kid and saw this I'd have nightmares for weeks. I find it interesting that it is Mikey who is the one insightful about Mrs. O'Neill being bad news. Because he is the LAST character who should be getting that correct vibe because nobody will believe him. And I gotta say, him raising the nun-chucks when he did was completely out of line in the moment he did it. He didn't actually have a legit reason to attack April's mother the second he did it, and I'm glad the Turtles gave that messed up behavior the weight it deserved by tying him up. I especially love that it is Casey who has April's best interest at heart in this moment. Does Mikey have any idea how much this means to April? He'd better not mess it up. It was also not lost on me that Mikey's greatest fear of what was in the basement was an evil clown, and that the final face of the creature definitely had some clown-like qualities to it. I would have liked to have seen Mikey's dance-off with Ice Cream Kitty. (I.C. Scat Cat?) Mae Whitman's scream after the line "I'm your mother!" was pretty much perfect in how horrified it was. Best line goes to Raph (to Mikey): "What'd I tell ya about being stupid, ya moron?" The glowing frogs at the end were great foreshadowing too. One nit: Mikey not remembering where the mutagen spilled does NOT track with his photographic memory. I could have excused it in season 2, but not season 3. Do you know what I love? The "Not it!" moment. Because that is totally a kids thing to do. And completely NOT in the spirit of any superhero. People on the Justice League don't beg off going first so their teammates can get eaten instead. What I love is that it reminds me that despite the show using so many superhero tropes, the Turtles themselves aren't actually superheroes. And some of the Turtles' properties forget that (See the recent movie making the Turtles bullet-proof). It was really cool. ****.
The Croaking:
Jon Heder as Napoleon Bonafrog? I've said it before, and I'll say it again: voice casting director Andrea Romano is a national treasure. I like that in this continuity the Mutant frogs are not evil, but misguided, and that Napoleon is a genuine good guy. Him being made general at the end was a pleasant surprise. I'm not sure a general needs "heart" to do his job, but I'll take an ending that sappy any way I can get it. I loved that Genghis wound up calling him "Sir" in spite of himself. That showed there were no real hard feelings. I think the animation timing on Napoleon when he said either "Idiots!" or "Gosh!" was amazing. They captured everything about Heder's expression and the lanky way he carried his body in that movie. Speaking of spot-on movie impressions, Maurice La Marche as Attila's Brandoesque "The horror! The horror!" was excellent too. I loved when Raph was glad that the confusion with the frogs believing they were rescuing them was cleared up, so they could actually fight. Raph was getting tired of that conversation. That hug between Raph and Mikey was only weird because Raph MADE it weird. Another great bit of foreshadowing was the last shot of the car splashing in mutagen. I also love how it was April who stuck up for Mikey with Raph. If you look closely at the wanted poster with the Turtles on it you'll briefly see that one of them has the horrid Michael Bay design. Best line goes to Napoleon: "In your face, Rasputin!" Here are some unanswered questions: where did Napoleon learn about the concept of ninjitsu in the first place? Where did the Frogs learn enough about Asian warriors / tyrants to name themselves after them? And where did they get the human clothes? All of these questions are worth asking and the episode keeps them open-ended. ***1/2.
In Dreams:
Every time I start to like this show, they'll deliver an episode that reminds me why I don't. And the messed up thing is I'm betting the writers are not aware of how bad at their jobs they are. Like saying Leo's throat was damaged, I'm sure having a crazy guy chase Casey around with a chainsaw sounded like a hilarious idea in the writer's room. But Casey is a 14-year-old boy. The scenario is actually horrific, and the show is so sick it tries to play it for laughs. It's also completely inappropriate for children. I personally think the Nick censors should have stepped in here. What are they for if not to put a stop to horrible things like this? And the ending is a rip-off to the Fear Demon from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I would have liked the black-and-white comic book world better if they had reverted the Turtles to their original 2-D comic book designs. Any other things of interest to note? Robert "Freddy Krueger" Englund and John "Cryptkeeper" Kassir playing the Dream Beavers shows AGAIN that Andrea Romano is good at HER job at least, and I found the idea that Dave the Beaver isn't actually evil, quite thought-provoking. The only reason he ISN'T evil, is because Mikey isn't actually afraid of him. If Mikey were smarter, he would be. I'd kind of like to have heard more about the time Mikey learned his lesson the hard way about taking advice from a talking lollipop. April's visage being on the coffee can was cool too. John Kassir as Dave's line reading of "I spy with my little eye... something GREEN!" was actually quite menacing. Bernie is SUCH a creep. His twitchy bulbous eyes, the fact that his mouth never fully closes, he is unsettling in a way the Beavers are not. The fact that he's a good guy makes him a bigger creep in my mind. I also loved that Bernie's first reaction upon entering the farmhouse is noting the retro TV, April being a little bit annoyed the talking Turtles don't warrant a mention, and Bernie being amazed that they could see them too. I'll admit it. That was a good joke. But the good things were few and far between this episode. 1/2.
Race With The Demon:
Well, we learned one thing. The Kraang spell "Kraang" with a "k" and theirs is the only opinion that matters on the subject. Is Casey even old enough to drive? I always picture him like 13 or 14 years old. Dr. Cluckingsworth M.D. is a welcome addition to the cast. Not as cool as Ice Cream Kitty because he's actually gross, but he's funny too. I liked Donnie's Hunter S. Thompsonesque design when he became the Speed Demon. Speaking of which, that was a frightening design for a car. The insides looking like the inside of a mouth freaked me out. If Christine had ever had a visual like that no-one would have had a problem with it. My biggest groan was when Casey put on the hockey mask before going into the high speed chase at the end. That was dumb. Hockey masks obscure peripheral vision completely. It's bad enough Casey wears it when he fights. He shouldn't be wearing it in a life and death chase. I especially like that Casey give Donnie a plausible reason why he gets to drive: a giant Turtle driving a hippie van would be suspicious. Sometimes the most obvious answers are the correct ones. Bad things: I think Casey always bemoaning new Mutants is starting to sound a bit racist at this point. And he never shuts it off. ***1/2.
Eyes Of The Chimera:
Another big writing mistake for the series. This one was written by Greg Weisman, so that's not unprecedented, but it still sucks. Showing those dozens of skeletons in the Chimera's nest was a terrible idea. Not just because it says that this monster has been on a mass murder spree directly due to the Turtles' carelessness, but because the monster isn't killed, it means the problem isn't solved, and the mass murders are going to keep piling up while the Turtles are back in New York. Do you know what's messed up? I think this was a conscious storytelling choice by Weisman, and he was well aware of the gruesome implications. And since he's writing for a show geared to seven year olds, that is a terrible bit of writing right there. I also was revolted when April put her hands in the creature's gills and gunk came out. Repulsive. The part where April tries to eat Leo was lame and unfunny too, a Weisman specialty. Any things I liked? I loved the moment where Leo grumbles that he can't believe April talked him into this, and her disgustedly telling him she shouldn't have had to. That was a great moment for both characters right there, and probably the best moment the two of them have ever shared on the entire series. I just wish it wasn't in an episode that otherwise sucked so much. Other things of note: the definition of a Chimera and a turducken is alarmingly similar, and I really appreciated Raph being upset that he was the only one who had his grappling hook. And when Casey defensively tries to go the "Who could have foreseen?" route, Raph is insightful enough to point out that with their life trajectory, it was FAR more likely that they'd be kidnapped by a giant mutant, than that they wouldn't be. I like that. **.
The Mutation Of A Scene:
Seven storyboards / animatics. Overall: ***1/2.
Within The Woods: Cool to get an animatic for a recap. What's weird is that April's drawn storyboard design is a thousand times better than what is put on the screen in CGI. ****1/2.
A Foot Too Big: "Do Turtles burrow in the wild?" Mikey is so dumb. He's only been in the wild if Jersey counts. I like that Raph's initial reaction to Bigfoot once he gets over the shock is happiness that he gets to fight someone. That's Raphael in a nutshell. Sean Astin's line reading of "Looks like we're going to get some REAL training" was sublime. ****.
Buried Secrets: Interesting choice for an animatic. A housecleaning scene boarded like an action movie. The storyboard actually uses a live-action picture of an evil clown. ***1/2.
The Croaking: I love both Napoleon Bonafrog calling Mikey's skills "Totally sweet ninjitsu skills" and his dance performance "This free demo." Got Jon Heder perfectly. ****.
In Dreams: I like Sean Astin's line reading on "Some rest should help." Because you can tell he isn't sure he believes it. There is nothing he can do to help his brother and it is REALLY scaring him. ****1/2.
Race With The Demon: Still not 100% on the logic of a mutated car, but whatevs. ***1/2.
Eyes Of The Chimera: In an episode comprised mostly of sucky scenes, it is unsurprising they couldn't find an interesting animatic to show us. *.
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