"Mr. Peabody & Sherman" Review (Spoilers)
Jan. 24th, 2016 02:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matt_zimmerAlso reviews for the latest episodes of Teen Titans Go!, DC Super Hero Girls, The Flash, and Arrow, the premiere of DC's Legends Of Tomorrow, the latest episode of Supergirl, the season premiere of Marvel's Agent Carter, the latest episodes of Star Wars Rebels, Mickey Mouse, Girl Meets World, Galavant, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and The Simpsons, the series finale of Heroes Reborn, and the latest episodes of Bob's Burgers, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Family Guy, Bordertown, and The Blacklist.
Upcoming reviews include Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), Phineas And Ferb: Star Wars, Star Wars Rebels: Season 1, Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Attack Of The Legion Of Doom, Batman Unlimited: Monster Mayhem, Teen Titans Go!: House Pests, Arrow: Season 3, The Flash: Season 1, Gotham: Season 1, iZombie: Season 1, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Retreat!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Return To NYC!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenge!, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Under The Dome: Season 3, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Doctor Who: Dark Water / Death In Heaven, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), 12 Monkeys: Season 1, Grimm: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 4, and Mulholland Dr..
Teen Titans Go! "Secret Garden"
The ending saved it. The show took a nice scenario with Cyborg and Starfire and then (as always) ruined it. But the episode had a change of heart at the end and gave us a happy ending after all.
Two good jokes:
1. The Golden Girls being represented on TV as raisins.
2. There being a cereal called Marshmallow Manhunters.
Still, this is a Regular Show episode. You know the drill. 0.
DC Super Hero Girls "Clubbing"
Looks like Supergirl is coming soon. She is the only character I am really interested in seeing in this continuity anyways. Starfire and Miss Martian have cool designs too though. ***1/2.
The Flash "Potential Energy"
Good and bad. The bad part is that Barry's idea to take Patty to a robbery date to see the Flash in action was stupid. Because he didn't bother to go through with it. That was the entire point, right? So instead of telling Patty that he was the guy who saved her life, she is simply appalled at him for ditching her. Why is he being so coy? He already decided to tell her! Why?
Simply put: bad writing. Superhero cartoon and TV show fans put up with entirely too much nonsense where dragging out the secret identities are concerned. That is what makes Arrow such a refreshing show. And I'm not going to pretend that The Flash was doing anything but wrong by the audience for stringing them along for no good reason at all.
And can I just say Harry's idea to NOT tell Patty was beyond stupid too? Because Zoom is going to target people Barry loves whether Patty knows or not. At least if she knows, she knows what she is in for, and can prepare herself for it. If Harry was TRULY concerned about Patty, he wouldn't be advising Barry to lie to her. He'd be advising him to dump her.
The good: I love the fact that the first glimpse we get of Wally West is that he is angry and cynical. Which is totally not the character at all, and I'm betting that's not what this version is normally either. But in the particular scenario the show cooked up for him, there is no reason he SHOULD'T be bitter, and sunniness at this stage of the game would be implausible. I'm glad that the show allowed him to be unlikable and unpleasant, even if Wally fans get mad at that. Because he had every right to be. Joe apologizing at the end for trying to Dad him was the correct lesson. Every other show I've seen with the exact same scenario (including Arrow) says the kid is the bad guy, and the adult is in the right. Here, Joe is cool enough to realize that isn't true in this case.
I loved Harry's tragic story of how Zoom got his name. Just the idea that Zoom went back later to kill the last cop shows exactly how loathsome he is. I have never heard of a villain doing something that scummy, and it actually made me a bit angry.
I am a little bit disappointed in how badly written this episode is, but to be perfectly frank, superhero fans have never been demanding better from their cartoons and TV shows before. And they should. But this is normal for the genre. And I think that's messed up, and I think we should actually be disappointed when stuff like this happens. Bad writing shouldn't just be considered a given where secret identities are concerned. I'm voicing my complaint here. **1/2.
Arrow "Blood Debts"
Well, that was a relief. I'm starting to think the cliffhanger of the winter finale was STILL a huge mistake, but I'm also starting to think that perhaps the scene at the graveyard might not be. Maybe every episode they could reveal a surviving character from four months from now until they reveal who bit it. That's what the TV show "Reunion" did, and as sucky as that show was, (as well as being canceled before the mystery was resolved) it was a very effective method of storytelling.
I'm saddened Felicity was crippled, but unsurprised her loving demeanor is the same. It really should NOT be, (that would devastate a normal person) but Felicity knows Oliver needs to be talked off of the ledge, and decides to be extra chipper and comforting. Frankly, I'm betting she is MUCH more depressed when he leaves the room. The next week promo hinted this might be the case.
Do you know what I love? Quentin just takes Oliver's statement that he is going to "drop" Darhk at face value, and simply accepts the idea that Oliver plans to execute the guy. I don't think he was really in any position to push back, but the fact that he didn't anyways tells me he knows exactly how messed up Oliver is about this, and that he should probably look the other way just this once. Maybe Oliver has been through enough, and it's not like Oliver hasn't been through the wringer to help his family. It was a VERY interesting story choice, and it was not lost on me. It was a moment of grace for Quentin, and he hasn't really had any of those since season 2. Felicity wanting Darhk dead in the cliffhanger as well tells me that this is the right decision by Oliver too.
There is no hint of a wheelchair in the limo with Felicity at the end. I really hope this doesn't mean she will be up and walking in four months. That was a serious blow team Arrow landed last episode. It doesn't make narrative sense to me for it to be undone so easily.
Dahrk's wife chastising Damian for not killing Green Arrow tells me she is worse than her husband. Darhk declaring peace with Arrow for a few weeks is meaningless too. Because he doesn't know he's Oliver Queen. Somehow, I don't think the truce that was just offered extends to Oliver.
I am proud of the show for actually going through with a tragedy for Felicity, while being sensible enough to realize she cannot be killed off. Just last episode I was questioning whether the producers got that, and I hope the ending of this episode means they have. ****.
DC's Legends Of Tomorrow "Pilot, Part 1"
This show is going to be amazing and so much fun. I love The Flash because it doesn't share Arrow's miserable outlook, and this looks to be even lighter than that. Captain Cold and Heatwave demand it.
I totally ship Sara and Snart now. And I kind of think she already digs him a little.
The thing I was bummed out with was the fact that it was revealed that the idea that they were Legends was just b.s. from Rip Hunter to get them to join the mission. And then Atom insightfully points out that their mission involves time travel. If they get involved they can change history so they ARE Legends. And it wouldn't happen if they decline.
Did not see that guy being Kendra and Carter's son coming. Very good writing there.
Victor Garber gets top billing over Brandon Routh? I think that's probably a mistake. Atom looks to be the perspective hero for the audience, and even if Garber is a bigger "get" for the show, I think Atom will wind up being the center. I could be wrong but I don't think I am.
I am going to say that this will probably wind up being my favorite of the DC shows. As action packed as Arrow, and as fun as Flash. Plus Wentworth Miller and Dominic Purcell kicking @$$ in the name of Wentworth Miller and Dominic Purcell. This might wind up being the epic pairing for the two that Prison Break was unable to live up to. I'm officially excited. ****1/2.
Supergirl "Childish Things"
Loved everything about the episode but the cliffhanger. Why not the cliffhanger? Because Maxwell Lord knowing at this stage in the game is NOT where I wanted the show to go, and I don't see a way out of it. I would have been more excited had they saved that for season 2 or 3.
The rest of the episode was boss. I'm starting to think that the course of the series WILL involve Win becoming a villain, and in the last episode Kara will talk him down, and he'll die saving her life. Just the fact that they set up the fact that Toyman was perfectly sane until the day he snapped means I am probably right. I'm okay with that dynamic now. Because it also means Kara will never give up on him. Which is good.
That had to be the worst timed kiss ever. And Kara is so d@mned earnest that it's easy to see how Win got swept up in the moment. What I love is that he owns his feelings at the end. A lesser show would have just let him let the matter drop but this episode took the tack that Win is NOT going to bury his feelings because that is what doomed his father. That's awesome.
Toyman's plot was stupid, to be honest. Because even if Win had gone through with it, he wouldn't have gone to jail for it. He'd be a considered a hero. D.A.'s don't prosecute bank hostages when the robbers force them to kill another hostage. And I think D.A.'s are probably way more overzealous in real life than they should be. But they wouldn't bring Win up on charges because not a jury in the world would convict him.
Maxwell Lord dismissively telling Alex that only a woman would say he feels threatened by Supergirl BECAUSE she's a woman is untrue. Because I am not a woman and I'm saying that. It's totally true. He feels threatened by a person more powerful than he is having girl parts. And the tell? "Only a woman would say that." That is about as big a tell of being threatened as the words "I'm not a racist, but..." are. Neither sentence leads anywhere good, and anyone who ever says those words is probably saying something horrible either before or after those words pass their lips.
There is a lot of subtext in J'onn J'onzz's secret identity being a black man. I think J'onn actually DOES know what he's talking about by saying that Supergirl is accepted because she looks like a blonde cheerleader and he looks like a monster. It's MUCH more insidious than that, and it's interesting that Henshaw never outright says that Supergirl suffers from white privilege in not seeing how their comings out would differ. I mean, I'm betting the dude has probably been pulled over many times for Driving While Black, and we've already established that Sam Lane is racist b@st@rd, and Henshaw probably has to deal with him on a regular basis. From a Martian perspective, he must feel incredibly depressed that human beings would treat their own kind like that strictly based on random appearances. When he says that people do not accept differences, it's not just the Martian saying that. It's the guy who has to live as a black man in America.
I was mad at Jimmy's treatment of Lucy this episode. And I can't for the life of me figure out why, which just means Mechad Brooks played the scene right. There is nothing that Jimmy says in dialogue that is anything but 100% supportive, but the long pauses he takes between responses, how flustered he gets over Lucy's excitement at the idea of them working together, he's kind of d*ck in that moment. And it's interesting that the producers and Brooks were able to get that across in such non-objectionable dialogue. James is a nice guy. So if they want to show him being a jerk, it has to be because of the subtext of the situation. And for this episode, I think they did that well.
I really loved the episode besides the cliffhanger. ****1/2.
Marvel's Agent Carter "The Lady In The Lake"
This show is so much fun. It's everything Agents of SHIELD should be, but isn't.
There is something intrinsically funny about a classy British man and woman driving around L.A. and making snotty comments about it. Seriously. Don't palm trees seem a LITTLE too alarmingly top-heavy to anyone else? Is Jarvis crazy? I don't think so.
Love Mrs. Jarvis immediately. She's the best.
I love Wilkes too. I love that he is self-possessed enough to actually flirt with Peggy and not feel weird about it in 1952. He's a REALLY cool character.
That flamingo means it is going to be a good season. ****1/2.
Marvel's Agent Carter "A View In The Dark"
Wilkes better not be dead. Because I totally ship him and Peggy now. And that's non-negotiable. Sousa's cute and all, but I am now Team Wilkes.
I love that he insists on the small talk, and I love that the show shows that he has actual reasons behind that. He deserves to know who he is risking his life and freedom for. Especially if it involves betraying the only company in the country willing to give him a job despite the color of his skin. I think learning if you can trust a person or not is not too much to ask in that scenario.
Do you know what I love best about the fact that Anna Jarvis walks in on Peggy and Edwin on top of one another and simply makes a tart comment? It shows something entirely refreshing about Anna: She doesn't see Peggy as a threat. She knows well enough not to be jealous, because SHE is the one who has Edwin wrapped around her finger, and even if Peggy WERE interested, she has absolutely no shot. I love that. The most magnificent woman alive in the Marvel Universe in 1952 does not scare Anna a jot. And I love that the series is cool enough to make her right about that.
Howard Stark having a mirror on the ceiling of his car may have been a good laugh line for the audience, but I was pretty much as appalled as Peggy. The rich are no better than you or me, and that right there just proved it. Howard Stark may be a playboy billionaire, but he is also tacky and utterly lacking in class. If reality television existed in 1952, he'd have his own show on E!.
That finger licking candle snuffing thing really intrigued me. Plus, Leland Palmer's in the cult, so you KNOW it's scary.
Is that black liquid related to the same black element on Agents Of SHIELD? Has Wilkes simply been transported to another planet? I hope so. I hope that isn't the last we've seen of him.
I loved everything about the episode except Wilkes seemingly dying. But they can undo that easily, so I won't hold it against it. ****.
Star Wars Rebels "A Princess On Lothal"
Pretty good. Although I have to say the unlikely contortions they were going through to keep Leia's cover wound up being ridiculous. At some point it became so obvious Leia was a Rebel that I seriously looked down on the Empire. The Rebellion would ONLY be able to do the things they did this episode if Leia were complicit. The Empire has never heard of Occam's Razor.
Plot hole: Ezra was born on Empire Day and Luke and Leia shortly after that. Shouldn't that make Ezra OLDER than Leia? Why is she treating him like a kid?
Then again, Leia was horrible to Han and Luke in the movies too. Much more so, in fact. Maybe this is her being polite.
All that said, it was cool seeing Princess Leia again. ***1/2.
Mickey Mouse "Roughin' It"
Big, dumb, loud, obnoxious, and builds to a bad joke. The show at its worst. It's often better than this, but this episode is pretty much the series putting all of it's faults into sharp relief in the space of five minutes. 1/2.
Girl Meets World: "Girl Meets Money"
Eh. While I think it is a bit admirable that Farkle doesn't care about his wealth, and is embarrassed by how ostentatious his house is, I don't necessarily think that is cool if he doesn't actually seek solutions to change that. When he says in class "I am humiliated," he should be. Maya is living in relative poverty (although as pointed out in the episode, poverty IS relative) and it never occurred to him to offer her financial help before? Just because he doesn't value his money, doesn't mean the rest of his friends can't use it.
Yeah, I know, money ruins friendships. But the show's whole shtick is that NOTHING is going to get in the way of these kids' friendships. If Farkle truly believed that, he would have wanted to help Maya long before now.
Very interesting to teach kids the value of money, and the fact that it only is valuable because every single person agrees it is. Society is very lucky there are so very few free thinkers, and that their activism always seems to be useless. Because I think the kids on this show have a better idea of what is and isn't worth something than most characters on television. ****.
Galavant "Giants Vs. Dwarves"
I have to say, Galavant is SUCH a jerk to Richard and he does not deserve it. Yes, he's stupid, but he's pretty much Galavant's only friend, and the only person who treats him with respect. And do you know what? Even if that IS clearly a lizard, it was pretty much the finest looking lizard I have ever seen. If you ever wanted to get me to believe a lizard was a baby dragon, that was the exact lizard to do it with it. Looking at it makes it plausible.
That dirty princess song was so horrible and lame it was embarrassing. It was pretty much a Disney DTV cheapquel level of awful. Alan Menken should be ashamed. Isabella has always been the weakest character, and she is again stuck in the weakest storyline this year. I'm officially annoyed.
I liked the camera angle tricks the show used upon the introduction to the giants. I also liked that one of the giants got confused and wandered off with the dwarves until his buddy told him his true nature. That was such a sweet moment.
A lot of fun to be had in the episode, but frankly, that was the show at its self-indulgent worst. I might have been inclined to give it a positive grade if not for the dirty princess song. I have low standards, but not THAT low. *1/2.
Galavant "About Last Knight"
Great ending. I am jazzed for next week in a way I have never been before.
I love that Galavant absolutely hates that his father is a better man than he is. Galavant has always struck me as self-absorbed and unable to handle it when there is somebody in a room better than him. We've never seen that before but this is clearly what it's like.
I loved the "He Was There" song. Very catchy ditty.
My favorite thing in the episode is probably my favorite thing on the series: The Forest of Coincidence. What a great concept. It's hilarious, serves a solid storytelling purpose, and make narrative sense within the framework of the musical comedy. It's something "Into the Woods" would do, so that's why it works.
The first half-hour sucked, but this didn't. Aladdin's terrible squeaky voice is NOT an awful writer. ****1/2.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Journey To The Center Of Mikey's Mind"
Sigh. Did they HAVE to call them Neutrinos? I feel like the Neutrinos are the part of the major Turtles canon that gets respected the least. Yeah, they're Hot Rodding Teenagers From Dimension X. But it's precisely that they were so goofy as to why they were one of the most memorable things about the old show. They had a legit role in the five-part Pilot, they were toyetic, and I still don't think Playmates bothered making figures for them. If they weren't going to actually use the concept, they should have called them something else.
Charlie Murphy was an interesting casting choice, which again makes me glad Andrea Romano worked on The Boondocks. She has built up a TON of connections over the years, and whenever she does a TV show she just crushes it in the casting department. Good stuff.
Loved the Red Room Twin Peaks backwards talking stuff too. Did Mikey even know what he was referencing?
The end imagination fight was a great place to catch freeze frame Easter Eggs. I am saddened to realize this has been Ice Cream Kitty's only appearance this season.
Renet's visage reminded me of something: shouldn't the Turtles realize they are gonna win? Because if the Earth WAS destroyed, Renet wouldn't exist. It was the Black Hole Generator that messed up time, not the Turtles. Renet means they are going to win.
The Cantina scene was underwhelming too, especially since it was one of the most memorable Turtles In Space moments in the comic. Maybe a cartoon simply can't do justice to the premise, and it only works in comic books and Star Wars. Although I seem to recall David Tennant checking into a pretty cool cantina during "The End Of Time, Part Two". And then he regenerated into the Fugitoid.
Their spaceship being shaped like a classic car doesn't cut it. This show did wrong by the Neutrinos. ***.
The Simpsons "Much Apu About Something"
Good and bad. But the good was REALLY good, and the bad merely annoying. Let's start off with the bad first.
I cannot get behind an episode where the Kwik-E-Mart is actually markedly improved, and the problem is that Apu wants it to go back to the way it was. Because the Kwik-E-Mart used to be a pit that Apu used to scam his customers. Charging $30 for sunblock isn't just Apu giving bald guys a hard time. He does it to everybody.
What is interesting is his nephew seems to be annoyed with how big of a cliche Apu is. And as cool as it is that the show is finally outright stating the biggest problem of the entire series, I feel like just pointing it out isn't enough. Until they either kill Apu off or have him move away, the ugly stereotype will remain. Just because the show admitted it was ugly, doesn't make it less ugly.
Now for the stuff I love.
I love that the show remembered that Krusty and Principle Skinner were volunteer firemen, but it was not lost on me that Apu should have been in the truck too. I also loved that Homer took one of Bart's earliest and funniest catchphrases and used it against him.
Homer is such a great father. I cannot state that enough. He knows he has Bart right where he wants him, so does the impossible: blackmails him in shaping up. I wish more parents would think to do this. Parents tend to unthinkingly cover for their kids, but if they were smart they'd get something out of it. I believe Homer WOULD turn in Bart, and that's why the threat works. Most kids parents would never do that, but Bart knows Homer is the kind of butthole who would actually do that to his own son. And it would be almost as good fathering as him blackmailing him to behave.
And Bart isn't actually unhappy not pranking. He was getting bored with it. Homer is actually regretting trying to get Bart back into it, and Bart is too. But The Clockwork Orange moment pretty much stated what was going on: you cannot change a person's nature. Not really. And the thing that tells me that it was absolutely fine that Homer got Bart to embrace his badness again is Bart telling Lisa that unconditional love means he can do whatever he wants. Do you know what's interesting? He's not misrepresenting the idea. That IS pretty much what it means, and why I think it is a REALLY bad idea even if the meaning sounds flowery and lovely on paper.
If this show would just nut up and kill off Apu it would pretty much be perfect. ****.
Heroes Reborn "Project Reborn"
Up until the last 60 seconds, that was all I ever wanted from a Heroes finale. Screw Tim Kring for setting up another season before getting the greenlight. But everything besides that was pretty much perfect.
I get it. The fans hate the relaunch. The critics hate the relaunch. It has not been without its share of problems. But if any of the first four seasons of Heroes ended like that, the show might never have been canceled.
Where to begin? Noah's sacrifice. I cannot even comprehend Kring trying to set up another season without him. He IS the show and irreplaceable. His death moved me.
Erica's fate was just, although part of me wishes she suffered more. And Quentin killing Phoebe to save the world was the correct solution too. Luke sacrificing himself to buy them time. Ren being the one to free Tommy. Noah being the key to saving the world. Every choice the episode made beside the quasi-cliffhanger was the right one. It felt earned, and as if these characters were put through the wringer for a reason.
I will live with the Heroes franchise ending like that. Who knows? Somebody besides Tim Kring could have probably cooked up an even better ending. But for all of my complaints about the show, the final season finale they did actually lived up to the hype for the first, and apparently only time. I am satisfied.****1/2.
Bob's Burgers "The Cook, The Steve, The Gayle, & Her Lover"
Best moment had to be at the end where after Mr. Frond states that no woman would want to have a second date with a man who throws up in the bathroom and wipes it off on a maxipad, Gayle kisses him directly on the mouth. And I realize these two are soulmates. Which shows that Tina was absolutely right to give Louise the magnificent hairy eyeball she did (Gene: "Geez, Tina, lighten up"). Louise's scare tactics about Mr. Frond were actually selling points to Gayle. And Louise is an idiot if she didn't think they would be. Did she honestly expect her quivering aunt to object to somebody who liked rules? One of the interesting things about Louise is that even if she's the second smartest character on the show after Bob, that doesn't mean she's actually smart. Bob IS actually a little bit intelligent, but Louise only gets as far as she does because she's surrounded by morons.
Look at the fact that she took back the grabber when she stole the doll. Because that just telegraphed it was her who did it. Frond might have frantically worried he had lost it or left it at home if she hasn't done that. Louise's reputation as criminal mastermind is unearned if she is too stupid to realize that she can only get away with stealing one or the other, and that some tough choices had to be made. But Louise is a kid and thinks all adults are as dimwitted as she is. She's usually RIGHT about that, which is why she is often as sloppy as this at times.
Steve is a jerk. And his son is a creep. I imagine it probably IS a bit annoying to hear the Indiana Jones line after hearing it over and over again (and the Pretty Woman comparison was apt) but he didn't need to be as big of a d*ck about it as he was. I was in born in Kansas and the first thing people ask me when they learn that is "Do you know Toto?" They probably think they are being clever, but EVERYBODY says it. I sometimes may sarcastically say "That's the first time I heard that... TODAY!" but I don't try to make them feel genuinely stupid about it. Because it's the first place everybody's mind goes and there's nothing wrong with that. I think if Steve is REALLY that thin-skinned about hearing that maybe there are larger reasons his wife left him.
Pretty good episode. ***1/2.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "9 Days"
As funny as Rosa's reaction to getting a dog was ("So what, I have a dog now?") I love that they tied it into the resolution. Because her realizing how important dogs are was the right lesson. We may think Charles is going overboard, but he's not. Pets matter to people. That's a fact.
Holt and Jake with the mumps was a riot. I especially liked that Holt named one of his mumps "Balthazar" and called him a b*tch. That was a word I never thought I'd hear escape Holt's lip. And it was funny, instead of offensive.
I think Terry slammed the door too hard. Heh.
Charles is afraid of Grimm? Is he afraid of how much it sucks?
Good to see Oscar Nunez getting work. I don't see many minor Office cast members anymore.
Don't poke the mump. ****.
Family Guy "Scammed Yankees"
That didn't suck, but both the ideas behind the A and B plots were absolutely terrible. Peter and Carter's plot made no sense and the moral and where it was going randomly changed. First it's Carter gets scammed, then it's Carter hurts an African village, then it's Carter tries to have Peter killed, and then it's Carter hates getting old. Pick a side to stand on, and stick with it, Family Guy.
I will admit I laughed hard at Stewie telling Lois that Peter probably didn't mention her in his book. I love that moment because it's a good way for Stewie to be mean to Lois, while looking out for her at the same time. He may not like her, but he wants her to realize how poorly Peter treats her, and that it isn't okay. One of the things I have appreciated most about Family Guy since the series came back is that Stewie doesn't exactly hate Lois anymore. It is way more interesting to me if he resents her as a person, but can't quite cut the familial tie and kill her the way he always planned. Part of him DOES care about her, and it's really messing him up. I was always bored with Stewie trying to kill Lois. I find the fact that he's annoyed at himself for no longer wanting to much more layered.
The Brian and Patty thing didn't work at all. I think partly the episode was trying to say Brian was a creep, but that isn't the only lesson the episode wants to teach. Patty was a nobody until we found out she had a great body. And I kind of think that is how Seth MacFarlane places value on a woman. It's not just Brian being a creep. It's the fact that this storyline would even occur to a comedy writer that hints the problem is much larger than Brian.
All that said, the episode gets a recommendation from me for getting Neil DeGrasse Tyson to say "Hamburger". Whatever else we may think of Seth MacFarlane, his greatest contribution to pop culture is making Tyson a Superstar. As bad as Seth is, I can't dismiss that. ***1/2.
Bordertown "Megachurch"
Only good joke is the idea that Ernesto defers to Buck on his English because he's been fluent all his life. Big mistake.
The joke about the Bill Maher stand-in going for underage girls show exactly why celebrities should NEVER do Family Guy or Fuzzy Door shows: Seth will stab anyone who does him a favor in the back. Seth MacFarlane is the meanest television producer alive, and if a celebrity thinks they'll get a free pass if they help him out, they are very wrong.
Sucked. *.
The Blacklist "Mr. Gregory Devry"
Here's a TV Tropes question regarding Red Reddington: Is it actually a Xanatos Gambit when only one outcome favorable to the villain exists and there is no way to stop it? Red always makes me wonder that. Xanatos is a nothing compared to him. Red doesn't choose between best and least worst outcomes. It is always going to go down his way no matter way.
Pretty impressed to see a guy hanging off a truck in a car chase on a TV budget.
I was beyond steamed that Amir claimed the Fourth Season of Doctor Who starred Tom Baker. He was the Fourth DOCTOR and didn't show up until ten years into the series. I really resent the writers trying to make Amir sound like a nerd when they have no idea what they are talking about.
Navabi pointed out something outrageous that I completely glossed over when it happened because I was upset for other reasons. Ressler didn't just fire her. He fired her the morning after they slept together. Another thing that shows that Ressler is a total heel. I'm even more outraged when it is stated like that.
Liz is pregnant, huh? She's gonna choose Red. No question in my mind. But if she chooses Tom there will be disaster involved. And I think Red knows that.
Loved Red telling Liz that the last 25 years of his life were like what the last three months of Liz's were. Perspective. Red has it.
Nothing flummoxes Red. Things go south at the table, and he starts wondering about the correct pronunciation of the word "dug", and how they let that guy have a cell phone in there.
Terrific episode. This show isn't going to just go into a slump because things are back to a kind of status quo. ****1/2.
Mr. Peabody & Sherman
I am going to state an unpopular opinion (that is true): The old Peabody and Sherman cartoons sucked. They were super boring. They taught the cliches from history books without delving into the actual history. The movie calling the George Washington myths apocryphal is one of the ways it is superior to it. Rocky and Bullwinkle was a fantastic show. Clever and hilarious. But the secondary cartoons (Dudley Do-Right, Fractured Fairy Tales, Aesop And Son) all sucked. True, Peabody and Sherman was the best of the lot, but it was still unfunny and stupid.
So that takes me to the first fifteen minutes of the movie. Which are the single best Peabody and Sherman cartoon that ever existed. It's all I ever wanted in the franchise, and the moviemakers make it look effortless. Peabody escaping that execution so brilliantly made me smile. This was going to be a great movie.
Until fifteen minutes in, it wasn't.
I was actually quite upset that the movie deals with themes of bigotry, bullying, and prejudice. Two reasons this sucks (well, three). The first reason is that heavy themes like that are NOT what the old cartoons are about. And frankly, that's out of character for the Rocky and Bullwinkle shorts too. Say what you will about the Robert De Niro version of Rocky and Bullwinkle, as bad as it was, it still tried to remain true to the spirit of the shorts. It's almost not the movie's fault De Niro is actually a lousy comedian. On paper the idea is hilarious (Robert De Niro IS Fearless Leader!) and the movie's biggest sin is that De Niro isn't talented enough to pull it off. But at least it tried. It tried and failed using the spirit of the original series. Dealing with themes of prejudice and bullying makes this movie much darker and most depressing that it needs to be. I feel like this movie was trying to be realistic to what would actually happen in that scenario... and that's stupid. There's nothing to try to rationalize. It's just a dumb joke. Why on Earth they were trying to make the situation plausible is beyond me. It's funny because it ISN'T plausible. The concept was pretty much the only funny thing about those old cartoons and the movie refused to believe in it.
The second problem is that dealing with bigotry is something the movie should have avoided after Family Guy botched it so badly. I still have never forgiven Family Guy for this, and this wasn't in that league, but it's still problematic for the same reason. By putting Mr. Peabody at the center of the civil rights struggle in the film, the movie is essentially comparing people who have struggled and died for their freedoms in this country with dogs. As if bigotry isn't actually a serious subject. There is a difference between using a sci-fi plot as an allegory for political struggles and making the political struggle itself seem like a punchline. Family Guy failed that test and this did too (albiet not to that extent).
The supporting characters sucked too. Penny is outright reprehensible and I don't see why I should be rooting for Sherman to hook up with somebody that horrible. She treats him badly and purposefully tries to damage his relationship to Mr. Peabody. And she wants to see them both devoured by fire-ants. She sucks.
Speaking of which, Ms. Grunion is pretty much about as bad as Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter. Only she lacks Umbridge's subtlety. Seriously, she is awful and every moment she was on screen I wanted to stick a fork in my eye. She actually wants to put Mr. Peabody down. What kind of idiotic villain is that? Repulsive.
Were there any things I liked? Yes. I liked that Peabody and Leonardo Da Vinci are actually close friends, and have been for some time before the movie takes place. I love that. I especially love that when Sherman destroys his flying machine, Leonardo isn't angry at him. He's impressed the kid got it to fly. That was a magical moment to me and it sort of went the opposite way I figured it would have in that scenerio. And again, the opening adventure was SOOOOO much fun. The cartoon done right. I wish it had lasted.
I also liked that Sherman called Mr. Peabody Dad rarely and both said "I love you" rarely too. That made the few times it happened mean more.
This movie isn't terrible, but it's a bad representation of the Bullwinkle franchise, so I'm not giving it a generous grade. **1/2.
Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends:
The Pilot for Rocky and Bullwinkle and five Peabody and Sherman segments. Overall: ***.
Rocky & Friends: The Premiere Episode:
Holy cow! The animation in the pilot is SO primitive and cruddy. Boris and Natasha look outright grotesque. I like that Bullwinkle's hope chest key is so small because he's hopeless. The actual fairytale of Rapunzel is quite different than the Disney movie. I liked that it turns out the Peabody and Sherman movie cribbed a LOT of scenes from the Pilot of Peabody's Improbable History, including Peabody introducing himself as Narrator while upside-down doing yoga, and Mr. Peabody telling Sherman he could call him Peabody in tender moments. Fascinating. And strangely awful. ***1/2.
Mr. Peabody & Sherman - Segments:
These are old segments from The Bullwinkle Show. Mostly awful with some crumbs of cleverness sprinkled in occasionally. Overall: **1/2.
Robin Hood: How fast and loose did this show play with history? They had him visit a fictional character. **1/2.
Leonardo Da Vinci: Another example of this show's laziness. They never brought up Da Vinci's inventions and act like the only thing he was famous for was being a painter. Still, I laughed when the dentist told Mona Lisa when jumping off the cliff to try to land on her face, and thought the front tooth bit was clever. ***1/2.
Louie XVI: At first I thought they were setting up a cool mystery, but it was nothing. Remember this when watching this show: lower your expectations. Every time. **1/2.
William Shakespeare: The pun at the end was the awful, but I liked the joke of Peabody nudging Shakespeare to change the play's title from Romeo and Zelda. So Shakespeare calls it Sam and Juliet. Peabody will get him there, Sherman. The way out of the pistol duel (Pistols? In the 1600's?) was beyond stupid. ***1/2.
Ludwig Van Beethoven: Y'know, Peabody and Sherman got a LOT of praise for teaching kids about history, but when I see Beethoven almost get hit by a taxicab I remember it's entirely misplaced. **.
A Tour Of The WABAC Machine:
You know, individually, Peabody's puns aren't awful, but when he does them one right after another like this, they're pretty bad. ***1/2.
Time Travel: Mad Science:
Peabody And Sherman uses Multiverse rules, while Gargoyles uses Block Universe rules. Although Multiverse rules may not be time travel, so much as universe travel. Fun featurette. *****.
Dreamworks Presents: Mr. Peabody & Sherman: A journey WABAC:
When Patrick Warburton proudly stands outside of Dreamworks Animation and proclaims that this is the company that brought you Shrek, Madagascar, and Kung Fu Panda, my first thought was "This studio's got nothin'." Can you imagine Walt Disney Studios, Pixar, or Aardman using movies like that as legacy selling? Holy cow, that's depressing. At least MENTION Prince of Egypt. That's Dreamworks' ONE legit animated movie. It's probably also the first and last one they actually put any effort into. Why does it appear that Stephen Colbert is wearing lipstick? The casting director is right that it sounds like Max Charles has a mouthful of marbles when he speaks. Loved Warburton making fun of how easy voice actors have it. And it is probably the easiest gig in Hollywood for actors to cash a paycheck. Studio actors never have to put in the work professional voice actors do. So it is true that it is super easy for them (even though Warburton himself is a legit voice actor). I didn't realize Back To The Future had a Peabody and Sherman reference. This featurette was a little too long, but it was pretty good. ****.
History's Greatest Mystery - A Dog And His Boy:
Sort of starts outs as an investigative journalism piece and turns into a trailer. Pretty sneaky, sis. ***1/2.
Peabody's Paw Print On History:
Seeing this confirms to me that all Hollywood ceremonies are silly and pointless. And I don't think any of them are actually less dumb than this. And this is pretty dumb. *.
The WABAC Jigsaw Puzzle:
This was fun. ****1/2.
Time Travel Memory Match:
I'm no good at these, but since you have unlimited tries, I solved them all. ****.
Gallery:
Still images from the movie. ***.
Theatrical Trailer:
I have to say, this isn't a great movie, but I would think they'd be able to sell it better than THAT. "From the creators of The Croods" does not engender confidence, you know? Also, it seems a bit weird they changed the "Don't tase me, bro" joke, (possibly do to police brutality sensitivity) but left the "bro" part in. Because now the joke just sounds wrong. Maybe they should have just not used it in the trailer at all. **.
Trailers:
Holy cow, is that lot of trailers. Mostly for stuff that looks awful. Here's a helpful tip. NEVER watch a ton of Dreamworks / Blu-Sky CGI movie trailers one right after the other. It will make you beyond cynical. Overall: *.
Dreamworks: 20 Years Of Dreams And Laughter: Good to see they didn't forget The Prince Of Egypt, Chicken Run, The Road To El Dorado, Wallace & Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit, and Flushed Away. ****.
Dreamworks' Penguins Of Madagascar: Just looking over this trailer, I'd have to say this movie doesn't seem to have a plot. It seems to be one extended joke. Saturday Night Live movies were created for less. And they usually sucked. **.
Dreamworks' How To Train Your Dragon 2: I guess you had to see the first one. **.
Turbo: Remind me why somebody thought Ryan Reynolds would be a good voice actor again? Snoop and Sam Jack are always nice though. **1/2.
The Croods: Eh. *1/2.
Shrek: The Musical: Proving Broadway has run out of ideas. 0.
Shrek The Halls: This reminds me why this franchise sucks. All of the characters designs are not only ugly, but super creepy too. Toy Story evolved the humans once the technology improved. Why did that never happen to Shrek? The characters no longer NEED to be as off-putting and scary looking as they are anymore. The filmmakers simply CHOOSE to let them look this bad. 0.
Merry Madagascar: Boring. *1/2.
Kung Fu Panda Holiday: This looks cute. ***.
Dragons Holiday: Gift Of The Night Fury: I would probably appreciate this more had I ever seen a Dragons movie. **.
Rise Of The Guardians: As creepy looking as these characters are, I'm a little bit disappointed this bombed at the box office. The concept is fantastic. ***1/2,
Rio 2: This trailer pretty much sharply puts into focus why I dislike Dreamworks and Blue Sky animated films: Bruno Mars is one of the voices. Does Bruno Mars strike anyone as a voice actor? Does he have a speaking voice that would lend itself to animation? Pixar always casts the right actors for the roles. That is why the lead for The Incredibles is Coach instead of George Clooney. Dreamworks and Blue Sky always pick marquee names of people whose voices you wouldn't find noteworthy otherwise. And that's why the movies usually suck. *.
Free Birds: Looks boring and like every other animated film that ever existed. *.
The Original Christmas Classics: I have this on DVD. I need to get around to watching it some Christmas. ****.
Veggie Tales: Apparently somebody who stars in something called "Duck Commander" passes for a voice talent draw nowadays. Our kids are screwed. *.
World Of Dreamworks Animation:
Musical scenes and videos from various franchises. Outside of the Shrek and Kung Fu Panda ones, they are all awful. Overall: *.
Shrek: There is NO denying the movie, for whatever it's faults, had a great soundtrack. ****1/2.
Madagascar: "I Like To Move It, Move It" is possibly the most annoying song ever composed. And yes, I'm aware "We Built This City" and "Horse With No Name" exist. *.
How To Train Your Dragon: More of a montage than a musical number. **.
Kung Fu Panda: "Kung Fu Fighting" is pretty much a no-brainer. ****.
Turbo: As boring as the movie undoubtedly is. *1/2.
The Croods: And I thought DISNEY music videos were bad. These are somehow worse. Disney routinely makes me embarrassed to be a fan. That's almost good. They make me care enough to be angry. This just makes me cynical. As if I was ever gonna be a fan of THIS to begin with. At least Disney has genuine credibility to destroy. Dreamworks, not so much. 0.
Blu-Ray Menu: Spiffy with new animation. ****1/2.
Upcoming reviews include Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), Phineas And Ferb: Star Wars, Star Wars Rebels: Season 1, Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Attack Of The Legion Of Doom, Batman Unlimited: Monster Mayhem, Teen Titans Go!: House Pests, Arrow: Season 3, The Flash: Season 1, Gotham: Season 1, iZombie: Season 1, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Retreat!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Return To NYC!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenge!, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Under The Dome: Season 3, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Doctor Who: Dark Water / Death In Heaven, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), 12 Monkeys: Season 1, Grimm: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 4, and Mulholland Dr..
Teen Titans Go! "Secret Garden"
The ending saved it. The show took a nice scenario with Cyborg and Starfire and then (as always) ruined it. But the episode had a change of heart at the end and gave us a happy ending after all.
Two good jokes:
1. The Golden Girls being represented on TV as raisins.
2. There being a cereal called Marshmallow Manhunters.
Still, this is a Regular Show episode. You know the drill. 0.
DC Super Hero Girls "Clubbing"
Looks like Supergirl is coming soon. She is the only character I am really interested in seeing in this continuity anyways. Starfire and Miss Martian have cool designs too though. ***1/2.
The Flash "Potential Energy"
Good and bad. The bad part is that Barry's idea to take Patty to a robbery date to see the Flash in action was stupid. Because he didn't bother to go through with it. That was the entire point, right? So instead of telling Patty that he was the guy who saved her life, she is simply appalled at him for ditching her. Why is he being so coy? He already decided to tell her! Why?
Simply put: bad writing. Superhero cartoon and TV show fans put up with entirely too much nonsense where dragging out the secret identities are concerned. That is what makes Arrow such a refreshing show. And I'm not going to pretend that The Flash was doing anything but wrong by the audience for stringing them along for no good reason at all.
And can I just say Harry's idea to NOT tell Patty was beyond stupid too? Because Zoom is going to target people Barry loves whether Patty knows or not. At least if she knows, she knows what she is in for, and can prepare herself for it. If Harry was TRULY concerned about Patty, he wouldn't be advising Barry to lie to her. He'd be advising him to dump her.
The good: I love the fact that the first glimpse we get of Wally West is that he is angry and cynical. Which is totally not the character at all, and I'm betting that's not what this version is normally either. But in the particular scenario the show cooked up for him, there is no reason he SHOULD'T be bitter, and sunniness at this stage of the game would be implausible. I'm glad that the show allowed him to be unlikable and unpleasant, even if Wally fans get mad at that. Because he had every right to be. Joe apologizing at the end for trying to Dad him was the correct lesson. Every other show I've seen with the exact same scenario (including Arrow) says the kid is the bad guy, and the adult is in the right. Here, Joe is cool enough to realize that isn't true in this case.
I loved Harry's tragic story of how Zoom got his name. Just the idea that Zoom went back later to kill the last cop shows exactly how loathsome he is. I have never heard of a villain doing something that scummy, and it actually made me a bit angry.
I am a little bit disappointed in how badly written this episode is, but to be perfectly frank, superhero fans have never been demanding better from their cartoons and TV shows before. And they should. But this is normal for the genre. And I think that's messed up, and I think we should actually be disappointed when stuff like this happens. Bad writing shouldn't just be considered a given where secret identities are concerned. I'm voicing my complaint here. **1/2.
Arrow "Blood Debts"
Well, that was a relief. I'm starting to think the cliffhanger of the winter finale was STILL a huge mistake, but I'm also starting to think that perhaps the scene at the graveyard might not be. Maybe every episode they could reveal a surviving character from four months from now until they reveal who bit it. That's what the TV show "Reunion" did, and as sucky as that show was, (as well as being canceled before the mystery was resolved) it was a very effective method of storytelling.
I'm saddened Felicity was crippled, but unsurprised her loving demeanor is the same. It really should NOT be, (that would devastate a normal person) but Felicity knows Oliver needs to be talked off of the ledge, and decides to be extra chipper and comforting. Frankly, I'm betting she is MUCH more depressed when he leaves the room. The next week promo hinted this might be the case.
Do you know what I love? Quentin just takes Oliver's statement that he is going to "drop" Darhk at face value, and simply accepts the idea that Oliver plans to execute the guy. I don't think he was really in any position to push back, but the fact that he didn't anyways tells me he knows exactly how messed up Oliver is about this, and that he should probably look the other way just this once. Maybe Oliver has been through enough, and it's not like Oliver hasn't been through the wringer to help his family. It was a VERY interesting story choice, and it was not lost on me. It was a moment of grace for Quentin, and he hasn't really had any of those since season 2. Felicity wanting Darhk dead in the cliffhanger as well tells me that this is the right decision by Oliver too.
There is no hint of a wheelchair in the limo with Felicity at the end. I really hope this doesn't mean she will be up and walking in four months. That was a serious blow team Arrow landed last episode. It doesn't make narrative sense to me for it to be undone so easily.
Dahrk's wife chastising Damian for not killing Green Arrow tells me she is worse than her husband. Darhk declaring peace with Arrow for a few weeks is meaningless too. Because he doesn't know he's Oliver Queen. Somehow, I don't think the truce that was just offered extends to Oliver.
I am proud of the show for actually going through with a tragedy for Felicity, while being sensible enough to realize she cannot be killed off. Just last episode I was questioning whether the producers got that, and I hope the ending of this episode means they have. ****.
DC's Legends Of Tomorrow "Pilot, Part 1"
This show is going to be amazing and so much fun. I love The Flash because it doesn't share Arrow's miserable outlook, and this looks to be even lighter than that. Captain Cold and Heatwave demand it.
I totally ship Sara and Snart now. And I kind of think she already digs him a little.
The thing I was bummed out with was the fact that it was revealed that the idea that they were Legends was just b.s. from Rip Hunter to get them to join the mission. And then Atom insightfully points out that their mission involves time travel. If they get involved they can change history so they ARE Legends. And it wouldn't happen if they decline.
Did not see that guy being Kendra and Carter's son coming. Very good writing there.
Victor Garber gets top billing over Brandon Routh? I think that's probably a mistake. Atom looks to be the perspective hero for the audience, and even if Garber is a bigger "get" for the show, I think Atom will wind up being the center. I could be wrong but I don't think I am.
I am going to say that this will probably wind up being my favorite of the DC shows. As action packed as Arrow, and as fun as Flash. Plus Wentworth Miller and Dominic Purcell kicking @$$ in the name of Wentworth Miller and Dominic Purcell. This might wind up being the epic pairing for the two that Prison Break was unable to live up to. I'm officially excited. ****1/2.
Supergirl "Childish Things"
Loved everything about the episode but the cliffhanger. Why not the cliffhanger? Because Maxwell Lord knowing at this stage in the game is NOT where I wanted the show to go, and I don't see a way out of it. I would have been more excited had they saved that for season 2 or 3.
The rest of the episode was boss. I'm starting to think that the course of the series WILL involve Win becoming a villain, and in the last episode Kara will talk him down, and he'll die saving her life. Just the fact that they set up the fact that Toyman was perfectly sane until the day he snapped means I am probably right. I'm okay with that dynamic now. Because it also means Kara will never give up on him. Which is good.
That had to be the worst timed kiss ever. And Kara is so d@mned earnest that it's easy to see how Win got swept up in the moment. What I love is that he owns his feelings at the end. A lesser show would have just let him let the matter drop but this episode took the tack that Win is NOT going to bury his feelings because that is what doomed his father. That's awesome.
Toyman's plot was stupid, to be honest. Because even if Win had gone through with it, he wouldn't have gone to jail for it. He'd be a considered a hero. D.A.'s don't prosecute bank hostages when the robbers force them to kill another hostage. And I think D.A.'s are probably way more overzealous in real life than they should be. But they wouldn't bring Win up on charges because not a jury in the world would convict him.
Maxwell Lord dismissively telling Alex that only a woman would say he feels threatened by Supergirl BECAUSE she's a woman is untrue. Because I am not a woman and I'm saying that. It's totally true. He feels threatened by a person more powerful than he is having girl parts. And the tell? "Only a woman would say that." That is about as big a tell of being threatened as the words "I'm not a racist, but..." are. Neither sentence leads anywhere good, and anyone who ever says those words is probably saying something horrible either before or after those words pass their lips.
There is a lot of subtext in J'onn J'onzz's secret identity being a black man. I think J'onn actually DOES know what he's talking about by saying that Supergirl is accepted because she looks like a blonde cheerleader and he looks like a monster. It's MUCH more insidious than that, and it's interesting that Henshaw never outright says that Supergirl suffers from white privilege in not seeing how their comings out would differ. I mean, I'm betting the dude has probably been pulled over many times for Driving While Black, and we've already established that Sam Lane is racist b@st@rd, and Henshaw probably has to deal with him on a regular basis. From a Martian perspective, he must feel incredibly depressed that human beings would treat their own kind like that strictly based on random appearances. When he says that people do not accept differences, it's not just the Martian saying that. It's the guy who has to live as a black man in America.
I was mad at Jimmy's treatment of Lucy this episode. And I can't for the life of me figure out why, which just means Mechad Brooks played the scene right. There is nothing that Jimmy says in dialogue that is anything but 100% supportive, but the long pauses he takes between responses, how flustered he gets over Lucy's excitement at the idea of them working together, he's kind of d*ck in that moment. And it's interesting that the producers and Brooks were able to get that across in such non-objectionable dialogue. James is a nice guy. So if they want to show him being a jerk, it has to be because of the subtext of the situation. And for this episode, I think they did that well.
I really loved the episode besides the cliffhanger. ****1/2.
Marvel's Agent Carter "The Lady In The Lake"
This show is so much fun. It's everything Agents of SHIELD should be, but isn't.
There is something intrinsically funny about a classy British man and woman driving around L.A. and making snotty comments about it. Seriously. Don't palm trees seem a LITTLE too alarmingly top-heavy to anyone else? Is Jarvis crazy? I don't think so.
Love Mrs. Jarvis immediately. She's the best.
I love Wilkes too. I love that he is self-possessed enough to actually flirt with Peggy and not feel weird about it in 1952. He's a REALLY cool character.
That flamingo means it is going to be a good season. ****1/2.
Marvel's Agent Carter "A View In The Dark"
Wilkes better not be dead. Because I totally ship him and Peggy now. And that's non-negotiable. Sousa's cute and all, but I am now Team Wilkes.
I love that he insists on the small talk, and I love that the show shows that he has actual reasons behind that. He deserves to know who he is risking his life and freedom for. Especially if it involves betraying the only company in the country willing to give him a job despite the color of his skin. I think learning if you can trust a person or not is not too much to ask in that scenario.
Do you know what I love best about the fact that Anna Jarvis walks in on Peggy and Edwin on top of one another and simply makes a tart comment? It shows something entirely refreshing about Anna: She doesn't see Peggy as a threat. She knows well enough not to be jealous, because SHE is the one who has Edwin wrapped around her finger, and even if Peggy WERE interested, she has absolutely no shot. I love that. The most magnificent woman alive in the Marvel Universe in 1952 does not scare Anna a jot. And I love that the series is cool enough to make her right about that.
Howard Stark having a mirror on the ceiling of his car may have been a good laugh line for the audience, but I was pretty much as appalled as Peggy. The rich are no better than you or me, and that right there just proved it. Howard Stark may be a playboy billionaire, but he is also tacky and utterly lacking in class. If reality television existed in 1952, he'd have his own show on E!.
That finger licking candle snuffing thing really intrigued me. Plus, Leland Palmer's in the cult, so you KNOW it's scary.
Is that black liquid related to the same black element on Agents Of SHIELD? Has Wilkes simply been transported to another planet? I hope so. I hope that isn't the last we've seen of him.
I loved everything about the episode except Wilkes seemingly dying. But they can undo that easily, so I won't hold it against it. ****.
Star Wars Rebels "A Princess On Lothal"
Pretty good. Although I have to say the unlikely contortions they were going through to keep Leia's cover wound up being ridiculous. At some point it became so obvious Leia was a Rebel that I seriously looked down on the Empire. The Rebellion would ONLY be able to do the things they did this episode if Leia were complicit. The Empire has never heard of Occam's Razor.
Plot hole: Ezra was born on Empire Day and Luke and Leia shortly after that. Shouldn't that make Ezra OLDER than Leia? Why is she treating him like a kid?
Then again, Leia was horrible to Han and Luke in the movies too. Much more so, in fact. Maybe this is her being polite.
All that said, it was cool seeing Princess Leia again. ***1/2.
Mickey Mouse "Roughin' It"
Big, dumb, loud, obnoxious, and builds to a bad joke. The show at its worst. It's often better than this, but this episode is pretty much the series putting all of it's faults into sharp relief in the space of five minutes. 1/2.
Girl Meets World: "Girl Meets Money"
Eh. While I think it is a bit admirable that Farkle doesn't care about his wealth, and is embarrassed by how ostentatious his house is, I don't necessarily think that is cool if he doesn't actually seek solutions to change that. When he says in class "I am humiliated," he should be. Maya is living in relative poverty (although as pointed out in the episode, poverty IS relative) and it never occurred to him to offer her financial help before? Just because he doesn't value his money, doesn't mean the rest of his friends can't use it.
Yeah, I know, money ruins friendships. But the show's whole shtick is that NOTHING is going to get in the way of these kids' friendships. If Farkle truly believed that, he would have wanted to help Maya long before now.
Very interesting to teach kids the value of money, and the fact that it only is valuable because every single person agrees it is. Society is very lucky there are so very few free thinkers, and that their activism always seems to be useless. Because I think the kids on this show have a better idea of what is and isn't worth something than most characters on television. ****.
Galavant "Giants Vs. Dwarves"
I have to say, Galavant is SUCH a jerk to Richard and he does not deserve it. Yes, he's stupid, but he's pretty much Galavant's only friend, and the only person who treats him with respect. And do you know what? Even if that IS clearly a lizard, it was pretty much the finest looking lizard I have ever seen. If you ever wanted to get me to believe a lizard was a baby dragon, that was the exact lizard to do it with it. Looking at it makes it plausible.
That dirty princess song was so horrible and lame it was embarrassing. It was pretty much a Disney DTV cheapquel level of awful. Alan Menken should be ashamed. Isabella has always been the weakest character, and she is again stuck in the weakest storyline this year. I'm officially annoyed.
I liked the camera angle tricks the show used upon the introduction to the giants. I also liked that one of the giants got confused and wandered off with the dwarves until his buddy told him his true nature. That was such a sweet moment.
A lot of fun to be had in the episode, but frankly, that was the show at its self-indulgent worst. I might have been inclined to give it a positive grade if not for the dirty princess song. I have low standards, but not THAT low. *1/2.
Galavant "About Last Knight"
Great ending. I am jazzed for next week in a way I have never been before.
I love that Galavant absolutely hates that his father is a better man than he is. Galavant has always struck me as self-absorbed and unable to handle it when there is somebody in a room better than him. We've never seen that before but this is clearly what it's like.
I loved the "He Was There" song. Very catchy ditty.
My favorite thing in the episode is probably my favorite thing on the series: The Forest of Coincidence. What a great concept. It's hilarious, serves a solid storytelling purpose, and make narrative sense within the framework of the musical comedy. It's something "Into the Woods" would do, so that's why it works.
The first half-hour sucked, but this didn't. Aladdin's terrible squeaky voice is NOT an awful writer. ****1/2.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Journey To The Center Of Mikey's Mind"
Sigh. Did they HAVE to call them Neutrinos? I feel like the Neutrinos are the part of the major Turtles canon that gets respected the least. Yeah, they're Hot Rodding Teenagers From Dimension X. But it's precisely that they were so goofy as to why they were one of the most memorable things about the old show. They had a legit role in the five-part Pilot, they were toyetic, and I still don't think Playmates bothered making figures for them. If they weren't going to actually use the concept, they should have called them something else.
Charlie Murphy was an interesting casting choice, which again makes me glad Andrea Romano worked on The Boondocks. She has built up a TON of connections over the years, and whenever she does a TV show she just crushes it in the casting department. Good stuff.
Loved the Red Room Twin Peaks backwards talking stuff too. Did Mikey even know what he was referencing?
The end imagination fight was a great place to catch freeze frame Easter Eggs. I am saddened to realize this has been Ice Cream Kitty's only appearance this season.
Renet's visage reminded me of something: shouldn't the Turtles realize they are gonna win? Because if the Earth WAS destroyed, Renet wouldn't exist. It was the Black Hole Generator that messed up time, not the Turtles. Renet means they are going to win.
The Cantina scene was underwhelming too, especially since it was one of the most memorable Turtles In Space moments in the comic. Maybe a cartoon simply can't do justice to the premise, and it only works in comic books and Star Wars. Although I seem to recall David Tennant checking into a pretty cool cantina during "The End Of Time, Part Two". And then he regenerated into the Fugitoid.
Their spaceship being shaped like a classic car doesn't cut it. This show did wrong by the Neutrinos. ***.
The Simpsons "Much Apu About Something"
Good and bad. But the good was REALLY good, and the bad merely annoying. Let's start off with the bad first.
I cannot get behind an episode where the Kwik-E-Mart is actually markedly improved, and the problem is that Apu wants it to go back to the way it was. Because the Kwik-E-Mart used to be a pit that Apu used to scam his customers. Charging $30 for sunblock isn't just Apu giving bald guys a hard time. He does it to everybody.
What is interesting is his nephew seems to be annoyed with how big of a cliche Apu is. And as cool as it is that the show is finally outright stating the biggest problem of the entire series, I feel like just pointing it out isn't enough. Until they either kill Apu off or have him move away, the ugly stereotype will remain. Just because the show admitted it was ugly, doesn't make it less ugly.
Now for the stuff I love.
I love that the show remembered that Krusty and Principle Skinner were volunteer firemen, but it was not lost on me that Apu should have been in the truck too. I also loved that Homer took one of Bart's earliest and funniest catchphrases and used it against him.
Homer is such a great father. I cannot state that enough. He knows he has Bart right where he wants him, so does the impossible: blackmails him in shaping up. I wish more parents would think to do this. Parents tend to unthinkingly cover for their kids, but if they were smart they'd get something out of it. I believe Homer WOULD turn in Bart, and that's why the threat works. Most kids parents would never do that, but Bart knows Homer is the kind of butthole who would actually do that to his own son. And it would be almost as good fathering as him blackmailing him to behave.
And Bart isn't actually unhappy not pranking. He was getting bored with it. Homer is actually regretting trying to get Bart back into it, and Bart is too. But The Clockwork Orange moment pretty much stated what was going on: you cannot change a person's nature. Not really. And the thing that tells me that it was absolutely fine that Homer got Bart to embrace his badness again is Bart telling Lisa that unconditional love means he can do whatever he wants. Do you know what's interesting? He's not misrepresenting the idea. That IS pretty much what it means, and why I think it is a REALLY bad idea even if the meaning sounds flowery and lovely on paper.
If this show would just nut up and kill off Apu it would pretty much be perfect. ****.
Heroes Reborn "Project Reborn"
Up until the last 60 seconds, that was all I ever wanted from a Heroes finale. Screw Tim Kring for setting up another season before getting the greenlight. But everything besides that was pretty much perfect.
I get it. The fans hate the relaunch. The critics hate the relaunch. It has not been without its share of problems. But if any of the first four seasons of Heroes ended like that, the show might never have been canceled.
Where to begin? Noah's sacrifice. I cannot even comprehend Kring trying to set up another season without him. He IS the show and irreplaceable. His death moved me.
Erica's fate was just, although part of me wishes she suffered more. And Quentin killing Phoebe to save the world was the correct solution too. Luke sacrificing himself to buy them time. Ren being the one to free Tommy. Noah being the key to saving the world. Every choice the episode made beside the quasi-cliffhanger was the right one. It felt earned, and as if these characters were put through the wringer for a reason.
I will live with the Heroes franchise ending like that. Who knows? Somebody besides Tim Kring could have probably cooked up an even better ending. But for all of my complaints about the show, the final season finale they did actually lived up to the hype for the first, and apparently only time. I am satisfied.****1/2.
Bob's Burgers "The Cook, The Steve, The Gayle, & Her Lover"
Best moment had to be at the end where after Mr. Frond states that no woman would want to have a second date with a man who throws up in the bathroom and wipes it off on a maxipad, Gayle kisses him directly on the mouth. And I realize these two are soulmates. Which shows that Tina was absolutely right to give Louise the magnificent hairy eyeball she did (Gene: "Geez, Tina, lighten up"). Louise's scare tactics about Mr. Frond were actually selling points to Gayle. And Louise is an idiot if she didn't think they would be. Did she honestly expect her quivering aunt to object to somebody who liked rules? One of the interesting things about Louise is that even if she's the second smartest character on the show after Bob, that doesn't mean she's actually smart. Bob IS actually a little bit intelligent, but Louise only gets as far as she does because she's surrounded by morons.
Look at the fact that she took back the grabber when she stole the doll. Because that just telegraphed it was her who did it. Frond might have frantically worried he had lost it or left it at home if she hasn't done that. Louise's reputation as criminal mastermind is unearned if she is too stupid to realize that she can only get away with stealing one or the other, and that some tough choices had to be made. But Louise is a kid and thinks all adults are as dimwitted as she is. She's usually RIGHT about that, which is why she is often as sloppy as this at times.
Steve is a jerk. And his son is a creep. I imagine it probably IS a bit annoying to hear the Indiana Jones line after hearing it over and over again (and the Pretty Woman comparison was apt) but he didn't need to be as big of a d*ck about it as he was. I was in born in Kansas and the first thing people ask me when they learn that is "Do you know Toto?" They probably think they are being clever, but EVERYBODY says it. I sometimes may sarcastically say "That's the first time I heard that... TODAY!" but I don't try to make them feel genuinely stupid about it. Because it's the first place everybody's mind goes and there's nothing wrong with that. I think if Steve is REALLY that thin-skinned about hearing that maybe there are larger reasons his wife left him.
Pretty good episode. ***1/2.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "9 Days"
As funny as Rosa's reaction to getting a dog was ("So what, I have a dog now?") I love that they tied it into the resolution. Because her realizing how important dogs are was the right lesson. We may think Charles is going overboard, but he's not. Pets matter to people. That's a fact.
Holt and Jake with the mumps was a riot. I especially liked that Holt named one of his mumps "Balthazar" and called him a b*tch. That was a word I never thought I'd hear escape Holt's lip. And it was funny, instead of offensive.
I think Terry slammed the door too hard. Heh.
Charles is afraid of Grimm? Is he afraid of how much it sucks?
Good to see Oscar Nunez getting work. I don't see many minor Office cast members anymore.
Don't poke the mump. ****.
Family Guy "Scammed Yankees"
That didn't suck, but both the ideas behind the A and B plots were absolutely terrible. Peter and Carter's plot made no sense and the moral and where it was going randomly changed. First it's Carter gets scammed, then it's Carter hurts an African village, then it's Carter tries to have Peter killed, and then it's Carter hates getting old. Pick a side to stand on, and stick with it, Family Guy.
I will admit I laughed hard at Stewie telling Lois that Peter probably didn't mention her in his book. I love that moment because it's a good way for Stewie to be mean to Lois, while looking out for her at the same time. He may not like her, but he wants her to realize how poorly Peter treats her, and that it isn't okay. One of the things I have appreciated most about Family Guy since the series came back is that Stewie doesn't exactly hate Lois anymore. It is way more interesting to me if he resents her as a person, but can't quite cut the familial tie and kill her the way he always planned. Part of him DOES care about her, and it's really messing him up. I was always bored with Stewie trying to kill Lois. I find the fact that he's annoyed at himself for no longer wanting to much more layered.
The Brian and Patty thing didn't work at all. I think partly the episode was trying to say Brian was a creep, but that isn't the only lesson the episode wants to teach. Patty was a nobody until we found out she had a great body. And I kind of think that is how Seth MacFarlane places value on a woman. It's not just Brian being a creep. It's the fact that this storyline would even occur to a comedy writer that hints the problem is much larger than Brian.
All that said, the episode gets a recommendation from me for getting Neil DeGrasse Tyson to say "Hamburger". Whatever else we may think of Seth MacFarlane, his greatest contribution to pop culture is making Tyson a Superstar. As bad as Seth is, I can't dismiss that. ***1/2.
Bordertown "Megachurch"
Only good joke is the idea that Ernesto defers to Buck on his English because he's been fluent all his life. Big mistake.
The joke about the Bill Maher stand-in going for underage girls show exactly why celebrities should NEVER do Family Guy or Fuzzy Door shows: Seth will stab anyone who does him a favor in the back. Seth MacFarlane is the meanest television producer alive, and if a celebrity thinks they'll get a free pass if they help him out, they are very wrong.
Sucked. *.
The Blacklist "Mr. Gregory Devry"
Here's a TV Tropes question regarding Red Reddington: Is it actually a Xanatos Gambit when only one outcome favorable to the villain exists and there is no way to stop it? Red always makes me wonder that. Xanatos is a nothing compared to him. Red doesn't choose between best and least worst outcomes. It is always going to go down his way no matter way.
Pretty impressed to see a guy hanging off a truck in a car chase on a TV budget.
I was beyond steamed that Amir claimed the Fourth Season of Doctor Who starred Tom Baker. He was the Fourth DOCTOR and didn't show up until ten years into the series. I really resent the writers trying to make Amir sound like a nerd when they have no idea what they are talking about.
Navabi pointed out something outrageous that I completely glossed over when it happened because I was upset for other reasons. Ressler didn't just fire her. He fired her the morning after they slept together. Another thing that shows that Ressler is a total heel. I'm even more outraged when it is stated like that.
Liz is pregnant, huh? She's gonna choose Red. No question in my mind. But if she chooses Tom there will be disaster involved. And I think Red knows that.
Loved Red telling Liz that the last 25 years of his life were like what the last three months of Liz's were. Perspective. Red has it.
Nothing flummoxes Red. Things go south at the table, and he starts wondering about the correct pronunciation of the word "dug", and how they let that guy have a cell phone in there.
Terrific episode. This show isn't going to just go into a slump because things are back to a kind of status quo. ****1/2.
Mr. Peabody & Sherman
I am going to state an unpopular opinion (that is true): The old Peabody and Sherman cartoons sucked. They were super boring. They taught the cliches from history books without delving into the actual history. The movie calling the George Washington myths apocryphal is one of the ways it is superior to it. Rocky and Bullwinkle was a fantastic show. Clever and hilarious. But the secondary cartoons (Dudley Do-Right, Fractured Fairy Tales, Aesop And Son) all sucked. True, Peabody and Sherman was the best of the lot, but it was still unfunny and stupid.
So that takes me to the first fifteen minutes of the movie. Which are the single best Peabody and Sherman cartoon that ever existed. It's all I ever wanted in the franchise, and the moviemakers make it look effortless. Peabody escaping that execution so brilliantly made me smile. This was going to be a great movie.
Until fifteen minutes in, it wasn't.
I was actually quite upset that the movie deals with themes of bigotry, bullying, and prejudice. Two reasons this sucks (well, three). The first reason is that heavy themes like that are NOT what the old cartoons are about. And frankly, that's out of character for the Rocky and Bullwinkle shorts too. Say what you will about the Robert De Niro version of Rocky and Bullwinkle, as bad as it was, it still tried to remain true to the spirit of the shorts. It's almost not the movie's fault De Niro is actually a lousy comedian. On paper the idea is hilarious (Robert De Niro IS Fearless Leader!) and the movie's biggest sin is that De Niro isn't talented enough to pull it off. But at least it tried. It tried and failed using the spirit of the original series. Dealing with themes of prejudice and bullying makes this movie much darker and most depressing that it needs to be. I feel like this movie was trying to be realistic to what would actually happen in that scenario... and that's stupid. There's nothing to try to rationalize. It's just a dumb joke. Why on Earth they were trying to make the situation plausible is beyond me. It's funny because it ISN'T plausible. The concept was pretty much the only funny thing about those old cartoons and the movie refused to believe in it.
The second problem is that dealing with bigotry is something the movie should have avoided after Family Guy botched it so badly. I still have never forgiven Family Guy for this, and this wasn't in that league, but it's still problematic for the same reason. By putting Mr. Peabody at the center of the civil rights struggle in the film, the movie is essentially comparing people who have struggled and died for their freedoms in this country with dogs. As if bigotry isn't actually a serious subject. There is a difference between using a sci-fi plot as an allegory for political struggles and making the political struggle itself seem like a punchline. Family Guy failed that test and this did too (albiet not to that extent).
The supporting characters sucked too. Penny is outright reprehensible and I don't see why I should be rooting for Sherman to hook up with somebody that horrible. She treats him badly and purposefully tries to damage his relationship to Mr. Peabody. And she wants to see them both devoured by fire-ants. She sucks.
Speaking of which, Ms. Grunion is pretty much about as bad as Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter. Only she lacks Umbridge's subtlety. Seriously, she is awful and every moment she was on screen I wanted to stick a fork in my eye. She actually wants to put Mr. Peabody down. What kind of idiotic villain is that? Repulsive.
Were there any things I liked? Yes. I liked that Peabody and Leonardo Da Vinci are actually close friends, and have been for some time before the movie takes place. I love that. I especially love that when Sherman destroys his flying machine, Leonardo isn't angry at him. He's impressed the kid got it to fly. That was a magical moment to me and it sort of went the opposite way I figured it would have in that scenerio. And again, the opening adventure was SOOOOO much fun. The cartoon done right. I wish it had lasted.
I also liked that Sherman called Mr. Peabody Dad rarely and both said "I love you" rarely too. That made the few times it happened mean more.
This movie isn't terrible, but it's a bad representation of the Bullwinkle franchise, so I'm not giving it a generous grade. **1/2.
Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends:
The Pilot for Rocky and Bullwinkle and five Peabody and Sherman segments. Overall: ***.
Rocky & Friends: The Premiere Episode:
Holy cow! The animation in the pilot is SO primitive and cruddy. Boris and Natasha look outright grotesque. I like that Bullwinkle's hope chest key is so small because he's hopeless. The actual fairytale of Rapunzel is quite different than the Disney movie. I liked that it turns out the Peabody and Sherman movie cribbed a LOT of scenes from the Pilot of Peabody's Improbable History, including Peabody introducing himself as Narrator while upside-down doing yoga, and Mr. Peabody telling Sherman he could call him Peabody in tender moments. Fascinating. And strangely awful. ***1/2.
Mr. Peabody & Sherman - Segments:
These are old segments from The Bullwinkle Show. Mostly awful with some crumbs of cleverness sprinkled in occasionally. Overall: **1/2.
Robin Hood: How fast and loose did this show play with history? They had him visit a fictional character. **1/2.
Leonardo Da Vinci: Another example of this show's laziness. They never brought up Da Vinci's inventions and act like the only thing he was famous for was being a painter. Still, I laughed when the dentist told Mona Lisa when jumping off the cliff to try to land on her face, and thought the front tooth bit was clever. ***1/2.
Louie XVI: At first I thought they were setting up a cool mystery, but it was nothing. Remember this when watching this show: lower your expectations. Every time. **1/2.
William Shakespeare: The pun at the end was the awful, but I liked the joke of Peabody nudging Shakespeare to change the play's title from Romeo and Zelda. So Shakespeare calls it Sam and Juliet. Peabody will get him there, Sherman. The way out of the pistol duel (Pistols? In the 1600's?) was beyond stupid. ***1/2.
Ludwig Van Beethoven: Y'know, Peabody and Sherman got a LOT of praise for teaching kids about history, but when I see Beethoven almost get hit by a taxicab I remember it's entirely misplaced. **.
A Tour Of The WABAC Machine:
You know, individually, Peabody's puns aren't awful, but when he does them one right after another like this, they're pretty bad. ***1/2.
Time Travel: Mad Science:
Peabody And Sherman uses Multiverse rules, while Gargoyles uses Block Universe rules. Although Multiverse rules may not be time travel, so much as universe travel. Fun featurette. *****.
Dreamworks Presents: Mr. Peabody & Sherman: A journey WABAC:
When Patrick Warburton proudly stands outside of Dreamworks Animation and proclaims that this is the company that brought you Shrek, Madagascar, and Kung Fu Panda, my first thought was "This studio's got nothin'." Can you imagine Walt Disney Studios, Pixar, or Aardman using movies like that as legacy selling? Holy cow, that's depressing. At least MENTION Prince of Egypt. That's Dreamworks' ONE legit animated movie. It's probably also the first and last one they actually put any effort into. Why does it appear that Stephen Colbert is wearing lipstick? The casting director is right that it sounds like Max Charles has a mouthful of marbles when he speaks. Loved Warburton making fun of how easy voice actors have it. And it is probably the easiest gig in Hollywood for actors to cash a paycheck. Studio actors never have to put in the work professional voice actors do. So it is true that it is super easy for them (even though Warburton himself is a legit voice actor). I didn't realize Back To The Future had a Peabody and Sherman reference. This featurette was a little too long, but it was pretty good. ****.
History's Greatest Mystery - A Dog And His Boy:
Sort of starts outs as an investigative journalism piece and turns into a trailer. Pretty sneaky, sis. ***1/2.
Peabody's Paw Print On History:
Seeing this confirms to me that all Hollywood ceremonies are silly and pointless. And I don't think any of them are actually less dumb than this. And this is pretty dumb. *.
The WABAC Jigsaw Puzzle:
This was fun. ****1/2.
Time Travel Memory Match:
I'm no good at these, but since you have unlimited tries, I solved them all. ****.
Gallery:
Still images from the movie. ***.
Theatrical Trailer:
I have to say, this isn't a great movie, but I would think they'd be able to sell it better than THAT. "From the creators of The Croods" does not engender confidence, you know? Also, it seems a bit weird they changed the "Don't tase me, bro" joke, (possibly do to police brutality sensitivity) but left the "bro" part in. Because now the joke just sounds wrong. Maybe they should have just not used it in the trailer at all. **.
Trailers:
Holy cow, is that lot of trailers. Mostly for stuff that looks awful. Here's a helpful tip. NEVER watch a ton of Dreamworks / Blu-Sky CGI movie trailers one right after the other. It will make you beyond cynical. Overall: *.
Dreamworks: 20 Years Of Dreams And Laughter: Good to see they didn't forget The Prince Of Egypt, Chicken Run, The Road To El Dorado, Wallace & Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit, and Flushed Away. ****.
Dreamworks' Penguins Of Madagascar: Just looking over this trailer, I'd have to say this movie doesn't seem to have a plot. It seems to be one extended joke. Saturday Night Live movies were created for less. And they usually sucked. **.
Dreamworks' How To Train Your Dragon 2: I guess you had to see the first one. **.
Turbo: Remind me why somebody thought Ryan Reynolds would be a good voice actor again? Snoop and Sam Jack are always nice though. **1/2.
The Croods: Eh. *1/2.
Shrek: The Musical: Proving Broadway has run out of ideas. 0.
Shrek The Halls: This reminds me why this franchise sucks. All of the characters designs are not only ugly, but super creepy too. Toy Story evolved the humans once the technology improved. Why did that never happen to Shrek? The characters no longer NEED to be as off-putting and scary looking as they are anymore. The filmmakers simply CHOOSE to let them look this bad. 0.
Merry Madagascar: Boring. *1/2.
Kung Fu Panda Holiday: This looks cute. ***.
Dragons Holiday: Gift Of The Night Fury: I would probably appreciate this more had I ever seen a Dragons movie. **.
Rise Of The Guardians: As creepy looking as these characters are, I'm a little bit disappointed this bombed at the box office. The concept is fantastic. ***1/2,
Rio 2: This trailer pretty much sharply puts into focus why I dislike Dreamworks and Blue Sky animated films: Bruno Mars is one of the voices. Does Bruno Mars strike anyone as a voice actor? Does he have a speaking voice that would lend itself to animation? Pixar always casts the right actors for the roles. That is why the lead for The Incredibles is Coach instead of George Clooney. Dreamworks and Blue Sky always pick marquee names of people whose voices you wouldn't find noteworthy otherwise. And that's why the movies usually suck. *.
Free Birds: Looks boring and like every other animated film that ever existed. *.
The Original Christmas Classics: I have this on DVD. I need to get around to watching it some Christmas. ****.
Veggie Tales: Apparently somebody who stars in something called "Duck Commander" passes for a voice talent draw nowadays. Our kids are screwed. *.
World Of Dreamworks Animation:
Musical scenes and videos from various franchises. Outside of the Shrek and Kung Fu Panda ones, they are all awful. Overall: *.
Shrek: There is NO denying the movie, for whatever it's faults, had a great soundtrack. ****1/2.
Madagascar: "I Like To Move It, Move It" is possibly the most annoying song ever composed. And yes, I'm aware "We Built This City" and "Horse With No Name" exist. *.
How To Train Your Dragon: More of a montage than a musical number. **.
Kung Fu Panda: "Kung Fu Fighting" is pretty much a no-brainer. ****.
Turbo: As boring as the movie undoubtedly is. *1/2.
The Croods: And I thought DISNEY music videos were bad. These are somehow worse. Disney routinely makes me embarrassed to be a fan. That's almost good. They make me care enough to be angry. This just makes me cynical. As if I was ever gonna be a fan of THIS to begin with. At least Disney has genuine credibility to destroy. Dreamworks, not so much. 0.
Blu-Ray Menu: Spiffy with new animation. ****1/2.
Tags:
- arrow,
- bobs burgers,
- brooklyn nine-nine,
- dc super hero girls,
- dcs legends of tomorrow,
- family guy,
- galavant,
- heroes reborn,
- marvels agent carter,
- mickey mouse (tv series),
- mr. peabody & sherman,
- star wars rebels,
- supergirl (tv series),
- teen titans go!,
- teenage mutant ninja turtles,
- the blacklist,
- the flash,
- the simpsons
