Matt Zimmer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
matt_zimmer) wrote2015-11-08 07:54 pm
matt_zimmer) wrote2015-11-08 07:54 pm
Entry tags:
- arrow,
- doctor who,
- dvd reviews,
- fargo,
- gotham,
- grimm,
- haven,
- heroes reborn,
- izombie,
- marvels agents of shield,
- power rangers,
- sleepy hollow,
- star wars rebels,
- star wars: droid tales,
- supergirl (tv series),
- teen titans go!,
- teenage mutant ninja turtles,
- the blacklist,
- the flash,
- the muppets (tv series),
- toy story,
- tv reviews
"Toy Story That Time Forgot" Blu-Ray Review (Spoilers)
Also reviews for the latest episodes of Doctor Who, Teen Titans Go!, The Flash, Arrow, Supergirl, Gotham, iZombie, Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D., Girl Meets World, Disney's Descendants: Wicked World, The Muppets, Star Wars Rebels, and Star Wars: Droid Tales, the season 3 finale and season 4 premiere of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the latest episodes of Power Rangers: Dino Charge, Heroes Reborn, Haven, Sleepy Hollow, Grimm, Minority Report, Scream Queens, The Blacklist, Black Jesus, and Fargo.
Upcoming reviews include Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), Phineas And Ferb: Star Wars, Star Wars Rebels: Season 1, Lego Star Wars: The New Yoda Chronicles, Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Attack Of The Legion Of Doom, Batman Unlimited: Monster Mayhem, Teen Titans Go!: House Pests, Arrow: Season 3, The Flash: Season 1, Gotham: Season 1, iZombie: Season 1, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Retreat!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Return To NYC!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014), Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, Mr. Peabody & Sherman, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Doctor Who: Dark Water / Death In Heaven, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Grimm: Season 4, and Mulholland Dr..
Doctor Who "The Zygon Inversion"
That performance by Capaldi right there is the single best performance of the Doctor since the relaunch. Capaldi is NOT the best Doctor. But he's the best actor who's played the Doctor.
Man, I loved his logicing Bonnie into what exactly winning the war would entail. Nobody ever thinks of the clean-up or what they'll do next. That's why the Iraq War was such a disaster. Nobody thought through the consequences.
And when Bonnie tells him that he has no idea what she feels, Twelve is more that outraged enough to disabuse her of that notion. The Doctor is the ONE guy that the "Nobody understands war but me" card will not work on.
Pertanella. Ick.
I love when Osgood asks the Doctor his first name (sort of jokingly) he says "Basil". That is one of the great things about Twelve. He doesn't overthink things. A lie is exactly as credible as refusing to answer the question, and the more ridiculous the lie, the more ridiculous the person asking the question will feel.
Another singular Twelve moment: stating he hates London. Eleven did NOT, and I'm betting Nine and Ten didn't either. But I like that the Doctor's likes and dislikes vary from incarnation to incarnation. Three actually hated human beings, so this in not uncharted territory.
My one gripe is Bonnie becoming an Osgood at the end. She did not deserve that privilege. The Doctor may have forgiven her, but I don't. And I don't see why the writers think I should.
Still, this gets five stars for being Capaldi's finest hour. *****.
Teen Titans Go! "Animals. It's Just A Word"
Dumb. The butt sniffing thing was gross. But I liked Raven as a Mutant and Beast Boy confusing Raven being sleeping with being dead. Him flushing her down the toilet was hilarious as was Starfire wanting to eat him. But how did Star know she turned into such an adorable cat? She didn't have a mirror. Gross episode. **.
Flash "The Darkness And The Light"
I love Ahole Harry. Because he doesn't give a crap who he offends. And on some level he's right to do that. He didn't do the horrible things Eobard did, and it is unreasonable for the others to blame him for them. But you'd figure he'd use a lighter touch. The fact that he doesn't and borderline stabs Sisco with the helmet makes me love him. I loved him outing Sisco like that. What a jerk.
The naming of Cisco as Vibe was nowhere near as painful as I feared it would be. The foreshadowing made it sound far worse.
Caitlin saying that none of them would become evil if they got superpowers made me really sad.
And Harry is right. Jay is a coward and Barry is a zillion times the hero he is. Barry runs into danger, Jay runs away from it. I loved that dynamic. Their fight was awesome.
Best exchange:
Joe: "How are you still alive?"
Harry: "Because you missed."
Classic. But seriously, Joe, the first thing you do is unload a gun at him, no questions asked? That is the mark of a lunatic. Just sayin'.
Linda Park as Dr. Light was cool too.
Legends Of Tomorrow Watch: Hawkgirl.
Good episode. ***1/2.
Arrow "Haunted"
Constantine was on the island! That dude makes everything better. Seriously awesome stuff.
Loved the stuff between Quentin and Dig. I have to admit to being a little disappointed in the revelation for why HIVE killed Andy, but even if it was underwhelming, it at least made sense.
I kept thinking how stupid Laurel and Thea are not to have gone to Oliver in the first place. This could have been sorted weeks ago. Oliver has a crazy amount of connections and even if they were gonna get his judgy face, they should have realized he could help.
Loved Curtis and the energy drinks.
Legends of Tomorrow Watch: Ray Palmer is alive and Sara is back! Yay!
I liked Felicity being happy that one of the people from Oliver's past didn't turn out to be a beautiful woman! LOL!
Speaking of jealously and Felicity, I love that Oliver's hug with Laurel was not played as part of some sort of weird love triangle between her and Felicity. The show is smart enough to realize Felicity is the wrong character to try to make jealous and good enough to not make it an issue at all. A hug is not a big deal.
One last thing to note: Laurel telling Oliver that he doesn't care about her family and is unwilling to help them in the extreme ways he is Thea is quite rich. Because as Oliver notes, she's right. But for completely the wrong reasons. She's missing the forest for the trees and the point is sailing over her head. The reason Oliver is so unwilling to help the Lances is that it always blows up in his face due to stuff outside of his control, and they bitterly blame him for it. After hearing "I hate you and I want you to stay away from my family!" enough times, I kind of think Oliver was getting a pretty clear message there. Does Laurel really expect Oliver to behave any differently? I'd stop caring about them at that point too. I mean, I know she is stupid and selfish, but if the writers are trying to show she's growing as a person, they failed in that moment.
So this episode begs the question: When does Constantine come back? *****.
Supergirl "Stronger Together"
Why are Henshaw's eyes glowing?
Interesting that Jimmy knows Superman is Clark. Does he know in the comics too? Hmmm.
And I have always found the idea that Superman never had a "tech team" for support in his early missions a bit hard to swallow. Even Batman has Alfred. And I kind of realized that Superman has always been a bit lazy when it comes to training too. Sometimes things come too easy to that dude.
Frustrated this show doesn't have a theme song. That's the worst part of recent television.
I liked this a little more than last week. ****.
Gotham "Rise Of The Villains: Mommy's Little Monster"
This is one of the worst written episodes of the season. It is stupid, filled with dumb characters making poor decisions, with plot holes and twists you see coming a mile away. And yet...
When Penguin says "He killed my mother, Jim. She died in my arms," the entire thing is worth it. That slayed me. SO good. That's not even getting into the show I think perhaps understanding what makes the Riddler tick better than any other film or TV adaptation.
We'll start with the bad stuff first and work our way up to Riddler. Bruce is entirely too stupid in this episode. I don't care that he's just a kid, he's freaking Batman. His parents' death should have turned him into the most cynical of people, and they are playing him as if he's a naive fool. But I still love the child actors on this show. When that kid who plays Silver said those hilariously horrific things to Selina I kind of realized that I have never really heard a child actor being directed to talk like that before. I mean, yeah, Joffrey is a similar level of evil, but he's dirt stupid. Silver is gleeful, smart, in control, and knows she's going to get away with it. Horrible kids are rare enough. SMART horrible kids? Unprecedented.
I love that Selina throws the fact that Alfred slapped her in his face. I'm glad about that because it was SUCH a violation, and if the show had simply dropped it, it would have been dramatic malpratice. The look on Alfred's face told me that he realized that if Bruce ever found out about it, he'd probably be fired again. He looked REALLY spooked in that moment. Good. He sucks.
Next: Butch. I'd be inclined to say the show wasn't playing fair by undoing the brainwashing after just one episode, but they concocted the perfect explanation: a code word built into the brainwashing. I'm placated.
I think the worst thing about Galavan is how reckless and careless he is. And he doesn't need to be as careless as he is. A man in his position should be delegating power. People like Penguin and Butch should never even be aware he exists. And killing Penguin's mother was stupid, especially since Penguin got away. Now he has no leverage over him, and Penguin has no incentive to keep his mouth shut.
I cannot tell if the line of mock Penguins was a genius move or a stupid one. I'm leaning towards genius, but I think any of his stooges who volunteered for that mission are morons. They are essentially agreeing to be cannon fodder. I mean, that is their entire role. And I have a hard time believing Penguin could find THAT many people who look like him, have enough outfits for all of them, and that they all happen to work for him. This is how stupid this show is. "He killed my mother, Jim," makes me forgive a lot. But I'm not going to pretend this was anything but idiotic.
Tigress killing the cop with a stiletto heel. Sloppy. And it should be easy to trace back to her. Galavan is REALLY bad at this supervillain stuff.
And if he was going to kill Butch, wouldn't it have made more sense to do it at the warehouse? Letting him go for an extra day just gave him opportunity to give Gordon information. I not only resent that Galavan sucks at his job so much. It's that Bruce is falling for something that dumb.
And finally, we turn to Nygma. Who wails at his alter ego as to why he is torturing him. Because it will be fun! And do you know what? It is! The episode really sold the point that the reason the Riddler leaves Riddles is because almost getting caught is the real thrill. Not the crime. Not getting away with it. Almost getting caught. The Riddler is a pretty nonsensical character when you get right down to it. A good villain shouldn't always seem to want to help the hero defeat them, and Riddler ALWAYS gives Batman the out, even if he would have succeeded had he left no clues whatsoever. But almost getting caught IS the point, and the reason the Riddler does anything. It's not his fault Batman catches him so often. He still cannot resist the rush.
This is a terrible episode, but it has so many virtues, and is SO memorable as far as Penguin and Nygma are concerned, that I love it despite it's glaring faults. If Gotham was usually this moving during ALL of its sucky episodes, I wouldn't have a problem with it. ****.
iZombie "Love And Basketball"
Clive was beaten as a kid. Bank on it.
I cannot root for Major and Liv ever because Major is a first degree murderer. And that will never change. At least they finally gave us a good reason he kept the dog. Because his victim asked him to. That's only makes him SLIGHTLY less horrible.
Blaine and Ravi's fight for the poison was awesome. I especially loved the moment it dawned on the both of them that it had to happen. They both seemed a bit alarmed by that fact and that the violence came out of absolutely nowhere.
Query: Why is Liv unconcerned about zombie germs where the coach's whistle is concerned? Considering the main point of the soap opera this episode, I notice these things, writers.
Not bad. ***.
Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. "Among Us Hide..."
ABC lied during the promos. They made it sound as if Andrew was dead. But him being Lash is worse, therefore I don't feel ripped off. And it is clear he knows what he's doing. Scary.
I've decided something about Lance Hunter. I don't like him. His advice to Fitz not to help Will was terrible. Only someone as sucky as Hunter would look at doing something for the woman he loved as helping the competition. Fitz is enough of an adult to realize not everything is about him. The fact that Hunter doesn't understand this means I hate him.
I liked how the rest of crew wasn't giving him any quarter either during the episode. May's fight with Bobbi would have meant more to me if she wasn't merely testing her. May had a very good reason to kick her @$$ for real.
And I tend to agree with Daisy: Coulson isn't horrified enough. He SHOULD be wanting to burn that place to the ground. Because that woman's argument of curing people is bogus. They are abducting people who don't WANT to be cured, and haven't done any actual damage to anyone else. I think if the argument of keeping somebody in suspended animation until there is a cure for cancer had any weight, the people in the boxes should at least consent to it.
First episode of the season to use all of the regular cast members in some capacity. I notice stuff like that.
Next week looks good. ***1/2.
Girl Meets World "Girl Meets The Forgiveness Project"
Sappy, heavy-handed, and a bit badly written. The Disney Channel restrictions don't help things. All that being said, this is pretty much the best the show is able to do using those restrictions so I'd be a jerk if I didn't at least acknowledge that. Yeah, Boy Meets World would have made explicit that Maya's dad cheated on her mom, but we still sort of got that, even if they didn't outright say it.
Do you know what I love? Maya doesn't forgive him! Very cool moral for kids because Maya is under no obligation to do so. Cory just wants her to forgive herself, which is the right lesson (hence the hug). You don't HAVE to forgive someone. It doesn't make you a bad person if you don't. Sometimes people do unforgivable things. It doesn't make the people who refuse to forgive them for it bad people. I think what a culture of forced forgiveness, taught in Churches and schools have fostered is the idea that hurting someone is just as bad as not forgiving them for that. And that's simply not true. And I love that the show is mature enough to state that instead of going for the predictable ending of Maya making peace with her father.
I also really like Auggie's attitude during Riley's b.s. apology. Forget the fact that the girl still carries that demolished teddy bear everywhere she goes, I like that the show had a seven year old understand that she was just trying to make him feel bad. To get a thank you for it. As if something he did when he was three demanded it. Riley's self-absorption has always been a bit alarming, and I like that her seven year old brother calls her out for it. That's not forgiveness. That's narcissism.
Oh, and August Maturo is still a lousy kid actor. But he's getting better, and I imagine the older he gets, the more polished he'll become. But I just have to repeat that this kid that NOT have the gift Ben or Fred Savage did.
Oh, and Farkle totally has Asperger's. What he was doing this episode is an Aspie weakness. Frankly, I'm still a bit astounded the show made the inexplicable decision to state that he doesn't have it. He clearly does.
This is the best the show can do given the hard G format so I'll grade it accordingly. *****.
Disney's Descendants: Wicked World "Lamp Sweet Lamp"
This just knocked itself out of Disney Animated Movie canon. Magic Lamps in the Disney Toonverse are "Itty bitty living spaces", remember? Everybody shrinking down into a comfy lay-out is strictly I Dream Of Jeanie stuff. The lamp is supposed to be a punishment (which makes me wonder exactly what Genie did to get stuck in it). It's shouldn't be a like a TARDIS. Disney Nerd FAIL. 0.
The Muppets "The Ex-Factor"
A classic. First five star episode of the series.
What I love about Piggy's gift is that it is cruel to Kermit but wonderful for Denise. It only helps Kermit and Denise's relationship, while at the same time tortures the dude who deserves it. And the problem is that it is really the perfect gift. Kermit cannot ask for it back under any circumstance. It was SO thoughtful and kind that he should have smelled a trap. It was genius. And she made sure to sing the song beforehand to twist the knife and telegraph exactly what she was doing. Miss Piggy is an evil mastermind.
Kermit has a type. Obnoxious pigs. I loved Piggy saying she was great with kids. It was both mean, hilarious, and sadly accurate.
You misunderstand Uncle Deadly. You think he WANTS to be in this room.
Am I the only one creeped out by Statler calling Miss Noodle a dish? It's Miss Noodle! Jebus!
Chip the IT guy answers the question of what would happen if Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock stood up to scrutiny.
Animal would like to perform with snakes but Zoot's a big baby. I loved him forcing Funyuns on Kristen Chennoweth (THAT is how you do a product placement) and her shoving Tic Tacs down his throat. And the solution is to leave her on the side of the road in the desert with her only companion a bag of Funyuns. That sounds about right. .
Am I the only person who is reminded of Oswald the Prison inmate from In Living Color whenever Dr. Teeth talks?
Scooter at the Plaster Fun Time place was the one weak spot of the episode. Although I had mistaken Kermit's coffee table for a zoo animal too.
Otherwise, nothing but good things to say about this episode. *****.
Star Wars Rebels "Brothers Of The Broken Horn"
I like Hondo and I like that as bad as he is, he never stops trying to do right by Ezra. All of the bad things he did were ultimately harmless which makes his deciding to always be on Ezra's side so cool. At some point at the end I wouldn't have blamed him for turning on Ezra for freeing the prisoner, but he doesn't. He doesn't take this personally and has a sense of humor. And that makes him an interesting character. Because of that I'm not even sure I'd classify him as a villain.
Pretty good. ***1/2.
Star Wars: Droid Tales "Gambit On Geonosis"
"Teddy bears! Run!" That one line summed up both the absolute best thing about Return of the Jedi and the absolute worst. And the messed up thing is that they are the same thing. While the Ewoks and their low-tech attacks are fun for the 8 year old who saw Jedi in the theater, I have to imagine I would NOT have the warm feelings for the Ewoks I do had I been introduced to them as an adult. I probably would have sort of liked them since I love the Muppets. But I'd also think they were lame instead of cool.
I think the main problem with this episode is that they swiped so many jokes from "Family Guy: It's A Trap!". While Luke saying it is obvious Leia is his sister because she's the only woman he's ever met is funny, it would have been a LOT funnier had Family Guy not already done it. They sort of did the same thing with the Emperor's mocking voice to Luke (sans Seth Green slams).
A good ending, but not great. Just like Jedi. ****.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Annihilation: Earth! Part One"
Bishop! Honestly, I was so excited when they said his name at the end of the teaser, I squeed a bit. And he is just as amazing a fighter as the 2003 version. We didn't see as much of it here, but this is again a guy who could kick Shredder's @$$.
AND we get the Utroms? The worst thing about this reboot's Kraangs is that they totally corrupted the message of the Utroms from the comics. NONE of the Turtle series have done right by them, not even 2003 (because of the bad decision to make the "real" Shredder an Utrom) and this fixes this show's sin a bit. Not all of it. Not by a longshot. But at least they exist. I want to know more about Subprime's time with them and his relationship to Bishop. Flashback, please.
Great cliffhanger. It's over so quick I don't even know what happened. ****1/2.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Annihilation Earth! Part Two"
What happened to Splinter at the end was precisely why an alliance with Shredder was as ill-advised as it is. Shredder is a sociopath who only cares about himself, and never truly loved Karai, and just proved it. Splinter would have been better off if it HAD simply been him and April taking on the Triceraton army alone.
Loved seeing Mondo Gecko but was sorely disappointed Napoleon Bonafrog didn't show up.
I love that Michael Dorn still gets steady voice work. And he should. He's crazygood at it.
Fugitoid thoughts: I hate his design. It's not surprising because I hate practically all of the designs but the Turtles, but Bishop had a pretty sweet one, as did the Triceratons, so I was hoping we'd get lucky with Honeycutt. No such luck. It is far too alien, and not enough robot. There should be a rustiness to the Professor, as he's a farmer and built the dang robot. He shouldn't be as smooth as EVE from WALL-E. Bygones.
Nowhere NEAR as good as last year's finale but next year looks interesting. Could you imagine how mad we'd all be if the series had been canceled? Hoo boy! ****.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Beyond The Known Universe"
I was curious to see what they'd do to the main title. I was not disappointed.
Turtles in spacesuits! /Baby Sinclair pointing at the TV: "Mommy! Mommy! I want that!"
I groaned at April's yellow jumpsuit but it grew on me by the end of the episode. Even if I hate the 1987 jumpsuit, and prefer the 2003 show's more grounded fashions, it still is a hundred times better than the yellow T shirt and jeans. And despite what Donnie and Casey think, it's not sexy at all, so at least she isn't objectified like on the old show.
Fugitoid musing about the wonders of almost made me realize David Tennant was the perfect casting choice as Honeycutt. That's totally a Ten line.
Bad things? Lord Dregg? Really? Talk about a Turtleverse Z-lister. They took the bad guy from the shark jump season of the old show? Was Dr. Quease from The Next Mutation unavailable? How bad is Dregg? I regret we didn't get Serling first. THAT is how bad.
Maybe killing off the entire supporting cast in the season finale wasn't the best of ideas after all. Speculation: If they fail this time Fugitoid says he can't send them back again. Should we be paging Renet? Pretty please?
I am skeptical of this season. At least it exists. Annihilation: Earth! would have been the worst episode ever to go out on. ***1/2.
Power Rangers: Dino Charge "No Matter How You Slice It"
I've blathered on elsewhere about the evils of mind control and you are probably sick of hearing it. But Power Rangers' mind control is the worst. Other genre shows use the trope as a crutch too, to make it so the characters aren't responsible for their actions, and therefore never have to pay the consequences. That's true. That's part of why I hate the trope.
But see, those other shows still HAVE genuine conflict at other times. Heck, even Star Trek can occasionally bring genuine pathos between characters who usually get along. ALL of Power Rangers' conflicts are due to mind control. All of them. This is probably the most gutless and wishyashy franchise ever.
This show stating that Koda is the most loyal and virtuous Ranger is interesting. Because he is also by far the stupidest. It doesn't surprise me that this show is trying to build up dumbness as a positive quality. I'm sure if the writers didn't do that in their personal lives, they'd never get laid.
Did I mention the episode sucked? Probably should have led with that. 0.
Heroes Reborn "June 13th: Part Two"
I can't tell what's worse: dead Quentin or evil Quentin. I'm going with Evil Quentin.
The episode still didn't explain why Molly Walker was afraid of HRG. Is she still alive in the rebooted timeline? They should have had Tommy take her power just to screw everything up a bit. Hiro didn't plan for that I'm sure.
I hope that isn't the last we see of Matt Parkman. Because I'd hate the character if it was.
I'm very anxious to see what is different in the rebooted timeline next week. ****1/2.
Haven "Perditus"
I'm confused. I guessed Dave killed Charlotte but how is he not Croatoan and Audrey's father? And if he IS Croatoan why didn't Charlotte ever say so? Argh!
The stuff with Duke was unsettling, including the return of the horseshoe crab with eyeballs. I predict we'll never see Seth again. He had a good run.
Roanoake being a Troubled settlement makes a lot more sense than any real world explanation I've heard. That mystery still confounds me.
I'm kind of mad that they seemed to be saving the revelations hinted at last episode for next week. Haven usually plays fairer than that. Sigh. ***1/2.
Sleepy Hollow "This Red Lady From Caribee"
Evil Mr. Noodle is evil! I love how smooth John was with him. He is a good enough faker to pretend to be outraged at the idea that he was betraying his friends for money. But since he and Jenny were in on it that was pure theater.
I knew something bad had happened when Jenny absorbed the crystal. Something like that can never lead to anything good.
I love that Miss Collins brought Ichabod flowers for their date. Please don't let her be evil!
A good week. ****.
Grimm "Clear And Wesen Danger"
I'm going with bad. And it can't be helped. The show cannot recover from last year. It is impossible. One of the drawbacks of blowing up your show with huge shocking moments is that the show remains blown up. There is no going back for Grimm. While I'm sure the male showrunners thought it was juicy that Adalind was pregnant with Nick's child, in reality, it's rape. Adalind is a rapist and Nick is her victim. I do not want to see them playing house, and I cannot believe the show expects me to get used to it. Part of the reason Spike trying to rape Buffy in season 6 of that show was SUCH a bad idea is that there is no going back from that. And that was just attempted rape. And at least the show had a built in way to rationalize Spike's repentence (gaining a soul). But it was super icky and a case of Marti Noxon deciding to use rape as a learning experience for one of the villains. As if the entire thing is about how bad it made Spike feel. By showing these domestic scenes, Grimm is doing the same thing. Rape should not be the path to self-actualization and the cause for redemption. And it's gross that this show and Buffy think it is.
The other major problem is that the Wesen should have been killed much sooner. I'll grant that the Marshalls were caught off-guard (even if given ample warning) but the thing I took from Nick and Hank's Kung Fu fight is that it was entirely unnecessary. Wu did it right. Just shoot him. The dude already killed two U.S. Marshalls and there isn't a grand jury alive who would indict a cop for that. In the real world cops shoot and kill people over perceived dangers all the time. It's part of why they suck so much. The show trying to get me to believe the gun is the last resort says it is trying to paint cops as better than they are. I understand why cop shows do that but they should have shot that guy in the head immediately. No-one would have blamed them.
A bad week for a bad show. This is never going to get any better. Once Upon A Time has redeemed itself from a bad season. This show won't be able to. *.
Minoriry Report "Honor Among Thieves"
It was fascinating to see a point where Arthur was just as niave and socially awkward as Dash. And he risks their cover because a girl smiled at him. And he hopes she'll do it again.
I love that Arthur seemed to be in control of the entire situation by the end. The one thing that didn't go as planned was Dash getting kidnapped, but once he was safe Arthur owned the bad guy with an owning stick. I also love Dash bonding with his female captor, and telling her the truth about how her husband died. It was very clever to use a murder to send a message and hints at what exactly these powers can be used for.
I liked this one a lot. ****.
Scream Queens "Beware Of Young Girls"
After that eulogy I want to see the killer stab Chanel in her stupid neck repeatedly. I HATE that girl.
And it is no surprise Munsch is a maniac. The only surprise would be if she wasn't a killer.
Grace's boyfriend saying he didn't like blood told me he's one of the killers.
Do you know my biggest complaint? Not only was there too much blood on the walls but it was too legible with no mistakes or misspellings. People misspell signs all the time and you can't exactly throw out a wall after you make a mistake in blood. The crime was TOO perfect.
Chad's lactose intolerance excuse is the worst I've ever heard. He's f***ing that goat.
Why does Hester have 9 tampons? How big is her cooch anyways?
Stuff like that has got to make Seth MacFarlane happy. This show now means he can get away with anything.
And Munsch in the mental hospital was just as bad as Chanel in prison a few weeks ago. Munsch would get eaten alive in there and if the show is asking me to believe it is like a spa they are wrong. Because I've been in one and it is horrible. This show doesn't think much of its audience.
I'm glad this season is going to be short. I kind of want to know the resolution to the mystery as soon as possible. ***1/2.
The Blacklist "Sir Crispin Crandall"
Nice to see Harris Yulin is still alive. Good.
The Director is totally out of his depth. He's a pretty big threat behind the curtain, moving the chess pieces, but once he actually has to go toe to toe with Red himself? He's in over his head. He is going to regret rejecting that life preserver Red just threw him. So I anticipate some fun comeuppance in the future.
Speaking of, how great was it that Tom psychoanalyzed the entire fight at the end before it happened? By doing so it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Neat trick.
I love Red pointing out to Crandall that his plan was totally illogical. Mankind cannot survive into the future without the best and brightest to guide them. And Crandall is just hogging them for a situation that will NEVER happen if they are already gone from the world. For someone who places so much value on intelligence, Crandall is quite dimwitted. It's the God Complex. Gets them every time.
What I love about how Red handled the Inspector is that even if it WAS a carrot, he forced him into it. He did the favor in front of his fiance before he could object. And since the Inspector WAS ethical he HAD to take the deal. It was the only right thing to do in that moment. He could have crushed the fiance in the name of preserving his integrity, but that would have been WRONG, and since he's ethical, that's a nonstarter. I've said before that many of Red's victims don't feel like victims by the time he is done with them. The Inspector is an excellent example of that. Carrots, not sticks.
Fabulous episode. *****.
Black Jesus "Never Say When"
"A Darby Man never says when," has got to be the best slogan for alcohol I have ever heard. It is both classy and low-rent at the same time. It sounds upscale but dogwhistles to the bums what is really going on. Genius really.
It must suck to be Jesus. Nobody is grateful to you, nobody takes your advice, and you get blamed when things happen exactly the way you warned they would. Seriously. Vic sucks. It is messed up how bad he is for Lloyd. Lloyd is a bum who Vic lets live with him. And yet every decision he makes for him has Lloyd wind up in a worse and worse spot. It is hard to believe how singularly bad Vic is for the universe.
Jesus has the patience of a saint. I mean, I SORT of get forgiving Lloyd, but the fact that Jesus still loves Vic tells me he's the real deal. If he WAS a fake, he wouldn't bother. Vic cannot wrap his head around the idea of somebody doing something for somebody else out of the goodness of their heart. Frankly, I think Jesus was giving him too much credit at the end for why he forced himself to be Lloyd's manager. The truth is he did it so he would still be Lloyd's superior. It was pure vanity on his end. He figured, even if Lloyd was richer and more successful than him, it wouldn't matter because he'd still take orders from him, which would make Vic the de facto better and more powerful person. And Vic does not even have the grace to thank Jesus for putting such a positive spin on his selfishness. Jesus is super insightful (as he was pointing out Vic's various failings at the end). But he is entirely too trusting and forgiving. That's probably what got him on that cross.
I really liked this episode. ****1/2.
Fargo "Fear And Trembling"
First great episode of an otherwise shaky season.
Let us talk about the hot mess that is Peggy. If she and Ed die it will be entirely due to her poor decision making and Ed being stupid enough to follow her lead. Sheriff Halvorson's right. They're dead and they just don't know it yet. He gave them a perfect out and they refused to take it. Frankly, I think Ed would have chickened out even without Peggy pushing him to, but she made it easier.
And the whole check bouncing thing shows exactly how stupid Peggy is. She adds complications to their life when it is already complicated enough. And it's starting to attract attention.
Ponzi's scene with Sonny and Carl was great. Nick Offerman with a beard and no moustache is still going to take some getting used to.
I love the kid with the bum hand showing Dodd that he knew how to quickly reload a gun one-handed. It was awesome because you could tell he had practiced it. Dodd was stupid too. Him messing with those guys in the donut shop gave Brad Garrett's character the perfect excuse to reject Floyd's reasonable offer. And he was right to. She cannot control her sons. They are a liability.
This episode show how cruel the idea of drug trials actually are. And the worst part about them is that the folks who get placeboes aren't even allowed to pursue other avenues of treatment for fear of wrecking the study. I think drug trials are a REALLY bad idea and always have been.
Amazing. ****1/2.
Toy Story That Time Forgot
Holy cow! That was MUCH worse than I remembered! That was awful.
Where to begin? I think this special is a turning point for the Toy Storyverse. It pretty much showed all of the flaws of the premise, with none of the many selling points. The climax isn't actually exciting. The threat isn't real, it's imagined. This is the first non-short with no stakes whatsoever. Party Central similarly soured me on the Monstersverse, and Planes: Fire And Rescue did the same thing for the Carsverse. I think this is Toy Story's shark jump. And I'm not counting Buzz Lightyear of Star Command because nobody considers that trainwreck canon to anything. This is the worst legit Toy Story project. Ever.
First off, this special shows one of the biggest flaws of the Toy Storyverse. It can't be helped, but usually the characters are in real jeopardy, so you roll with it. But Toy Story projects always try to make mundane stupid moments seem huge and dramatic. Sometimes it works. Here it does not. When Reptillus says "I thought I knew you," the special is playing the moment like an epic love story. And it's just stupid and badly written. And you kind of realize maybe ALL of Toy Story is, and you just didn't notice before now because they weren't so obvious about it.
There are only so many different kinds of stories you can tell in this format, and they all involve either the toy getting lost, the kid growing up, toys getting broken, the new toys not realizing they're toys, the toys getting stolen, etc. The franchise hasn't really shown us anything new since the second movie. And that bums me out. And they can't break this particular format either so those are the only stories we're getting. Maybe it was a good thing the Toy Story canon used to be so limited before Toy Story 3.
Secondly, as fabulous as Kristen Schaal is, Trixie cannot carry a Toy Story project. They somehow made Jessie, one of the most annoying characters, work as the protagonist of the Halloween special, but Trixie just does not cut it. At all.
Third, that post coitus scene with Trixie and Reptillus is freaking disgusting. It takes an innocent experience and tries to sexualize it. It is super gross and creepy, uncool for a kids special, and freaks me out just thinking about it. I might have been able to forgive everything else, but that moment is the precise thing that ruins the special for me and why I'll be giving it one star.
We'll talk about some good things before I do that.
Angel Kitty was very Zen. The fact that he talks like a toddler was oddly appropriate.
What's ignorance? I'unno. I laughed. I also loved Trixie's observation that everybody wants to live in an apartment shaped like their head. Come to think of it, I do too.
The Cleric is totally a Skeksis from The Dark Crystal. And you can't tell me he isn't. "I find their lack of armor disturbing." Even I can admit that's a good joke.
Second Toy Story project in a row without John Ratzenberger. He must have been at a tea-bagger rally.
Plot Holes: How does "Get Bonnie!" make any sense as a plan? The toys aren't allowed to let their kids know they're alive. And if the Battlesaurs don't know they're toys, why do they automatically freeze in place when Bonnie and Mason enter the playroom? Hmmm.
Honestly, this is pretty much the franchise jumping the shark. I hated it. *.
Reptillus!:
When the writers are talking about how they crafted this lavish backstory for the Battlesaurs I buried my face in my hands. Totally overthinking it. After talking about it for awhile even the producer says "It's so dumb." Exactly. ***.
Toy Story Goes To Comic-Con:
They didn't show much of the panel, because I'm betting since Kristen Schaal was on it, it was mostly R-rated. Just a hunch. ***.
Karaoke: My Unexpected Friend:
Wow, I never realized how irreplaceable Randy Newman is to this franchise. This cat Alex Mandel's music absolutely sucks. Somethin' fierce. There is no part of this special that isn't subpar. Overall: 0.
Reptillus Sings: With Kevin McKidd vocals. 0.
You Sing: With no vocals. 0.
Battlesaurs: Animated Opening:
That was excellent! TOO excellent. The animation was TOO polished and perfect. The kinds of shows they are satirizing all have crummy animation. So as awesome as this is, it is also inauthentic. ****1/2.
Deleted Scenes:
Mostly garbage. Overall: *1/2.
Battlesaurs Christmas: The temp voice tracks are awful. Kristen Schaal has one of those voices that is impossible to imitate and it sound totally wrong here. The guy who does Tom Hanks sucks too. Here is something interesting: this hints that the Christmas toys and decorations have a sad backstory and have to live in the attic for most of the year. The entire Toy Story premise has a depressing subtext behind it if you want to get down to it, so I try not to think about it too hard. Hamm and Dolly are in this scene but not in the special itself. **1/2.
Prisoners Of Bone: Buzz Lightyear does NOT have the high ground in being annoyed a toy doesn't realize it's a toy. **1/2.
SOS: Best of the deleted scenes. Bonnie is lured to the dark side of videogames. And Buster from Toy Story 2 gets a shout-out. ****.
Trixie's Proposal: God, this special sucked. 0.
Light Of Play: Disgusting in any version. 0.
Easter Egg:
2 cute outtakes. ****.
The Good Dinosaur Trailer: This movie has been put off forever and you'd figure they'd be able to get us a more interesting trailer than THAT. **.
Inside Out Blu-Ray Trailer: Cute. Better than the theatrical trailer because it shows you actual scene from the movie rather than old Pixar clips. The new short looks interesting too.
Blu-Ray Menu: Shockingly boring. *.
Upcoming reviews include Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), Phineas And Ferb: Star Wars, Star Wars Rebels: Season 1, Lego Star Wars: The New Yoda Chronicles, Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Attack Of The Legion Of Doom, Batman Unlimited: Monster Mayhem, Teen Titans Go!: House Pests, Arrow: Season 3, The Flash: Season 1, Gotham: Season 1, iZombie: Season 1, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Retreat!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Return To NYC!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014), Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, Mr. Peabody & Sherman, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Doctor Who: Dark Water / Death In Heaven, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Grimm: Season 4, and Mulholland Dr..
Doctor Who "The Zygon Inversion"
That performance by Capaldi right there is the single best performance of the Doctor since the relaunch. Capaldi is NOT the best Doctor. But he's the best actor who's played the Doctor.
Man, I loved his logicing Bonnie into what exactly winning the war would entail. Nobody ever thinks of the clean-up or what they'll do next. That's why the Iraq War was such a disaster. Nobody thought through the consequences.
And when Bonnie tells him that he has no idea what she feels, Twelve is more that outraged enough to disabuse her of that notion. The Doctor is the ONE guy that the "Nobody understands war but me" card will not work on.
Pertanella. Ick.
I love when Osgood asks the Doctor his first name (sort of jokingly) he says "Basil". That is one of the great things about Twelve. He doesn't overthink things. A lie is exactly as credible as refusing to answer the question, and the more ridiculous the lie, the more ridiculous the person asking the question will feel.
Another singular Twelve moment: stating he hates London. Eleven did NOT, and I'm betting Nine and Ten didn't either. But I like that the Doctor's likes and dislikes vary from incarnation to incarnation. Three actually hated human beings, so this in not uncharted territory.
My one gripe is Bonnie becoming an Osgood at the end. She did not deserve that privilege. The Doctor may have forgiven her, but I don't. And I don't see why the writers think I should.
Still, this gets five stars for being Capaldi's finest hour. *****.
Teen Titans Go! "Animals. It's Just A Word"
Dumb. The butt sniffing thing was gross. But I liked Raven as a Mutant and Beast Boy confusing Raven being sleeping with being dead. Him flushing her down the toilet was hilarious as was Starfire wanting to eat him. But how did Star know she turned into such an adorable cat? She didn't have a mirror. Gross episode. **.
Flash "The Darkness And The Light"
I love Ahole Harry. Because he doesn't give a crap who he offends. And on some level he's right to do that. He didn't do the horrible things Eobard did, and it is unreasonable for the others to blame him for them. But you'd figure he'd use a lighter touch. The fact that he doesn't and borderline stabs Sisco with the helmet makes me love him. I loved him outing Sisco like that. What a jerk.
The naming of Cisco as Vibe was nowhere near as painful as I feared it would be. The foreshadowing made it sound far worse.
Caitlin saying that none of them would become evil if they got superpowers made me really sad.
And Harry is right. Jay is a coward and Barry is a zillion times the hero he is. Barry runs into danger, Jay runs away from it. I loved that dynamic. Their fight was awesome.
Best exchange:
Joe: "How are you still alive?"
Harry: "Because you missed."
Classic. But seriously, Joe, the first thing you do is unload a gun at him, no questions asked? That is the mark of a lunatic. Just sayin'.
Linda Park as Dr. Light was cool too.
Legends Of Tomorrow Watch: Hawkgirl.
Good episode. ***1/2.
Arrow "Haunted"
Constantine was on the island! That dude makes everything better. Seriously awesome stuff.
Loved the stuff between Quentin and Dig. I have to admit to being a little disappointed in the revelation for why HIVE killed Andy, but even if it was underwhelming, it at least made sense.
I kept thinking how stupid Laurel and Thea are not to have gone to Oliver in the first place. This could have been sorted weeks ago. Oliver has a crazy amount of connections and even if they were gonna get his judgy face, they should have realized he could help.
Loved Curtis and the energy drinks.
Legends of Tomorrow Watch: Ray Palmer is alive and Sara is back! Yay!
I liked Felicity being happy that one of the people from Oliver's past didn't turn out to be a beautiful woman! LOL!
Speaking of jealously and Felicity, I love that Oliver's hug with Laurel was not played as part of some sort of weird love triangle between her and Felicity. The show is smart enough to realize Felicity is the wrong character to try to make jealous and good enough to not make it an issue at all. A hug is not a big deal.
One last thing to note: Laurel telling Oliver that he doesn't care about her family and is unwilling to help them in the extreme ways he is Thea is quite rich. Because as Oliver notes, she's right. But for completely the wrong reasons. She's missing the forest for the trees and the point is sailing over her head. The reason Oliver is so unwilling to help the Lances is that it always blows up in his face due to stuff outside of his control, and they bitterly blame him for it. After hearing "I hate you and I want you to stay away from my family!" enough times, I kind of think Oliver was getting a pretty clear message there. Does Laurel really expect Oliver to behave any differently? I'd stop caring about them at that point too. I mean, I know she is stupid and selfish, but if the writers are trying to show she's growing as a person, they failed in that moment.
So this episode begs the question: When does Constantine come back? *****.
Supergirl "Stronger Together"
Why are Henshaw's eyes glowing?
Interesting that Jimmy knows Superman is Clark. Does he know in the comics too? Hmmm.
And I have always found the idea that Superman never had a "tech team" for support in his early missions a bit hard to swallow. Even Batman has Alfred. And I kind of realized that Superman has always been a bit lazy when it comes to training too. Sometimes things come too easy to that dude.
Frustrated this show doesn't have a theme song. That's the worst part of recent television.
I liked this a little more than last week. ****.
Gotham "Rise Of The Villains: Mommy's Little Monster"
This is one of the worst written episodes of the season. It is stupid, filled with dumb characters making poor decisions, with plot holes and twists you see coming a mile away. And yet...
When Penguin says "He killed my mother, Jim. She died in my arms," the entire thing is worth it. That slayed me. SO good. That's not even getting into the show I think perhaps understanding what makes the Riddler tick better than any other film or TV adaptation.
We'll start with the bad stuff first and work our way up to Riddler. Bruce is entirely too stupid in this episode. I don't care that he's just a kid, he's freaking Batman. His parents' death should have turned him into the most cynical of people, and they are playing him as if he's a naive fool. But I still love the child actors on this show. When that kid who plays Silver said those hilariously horrific things to Selina I kind of realized that I have never really heard a child actor being directed to talk like that before. I mean, yeah, Joffrey is a similar level of evil, but he's dirt stupid. Silver is gleeful, smart, in control, and knows she's going to get away with it. Horrible kids are rare enough. SMART horrible kids? Unprecedented.
I love that Selina throws the fact that Alfred slapped her in his face. I'm glad about that because it was SUCH a violation, and if the show had simply dropped it, it would have been dramatic malpratice. The look on Alfred's face told me that he realized that if Bruce ever found out about it, he'd probably be fired again. He looked REALLY spooked in that moment. Good. He sucks.
Next: Butch. I'd be inclined to say the show wasn't playing fair by undoing the brainwashing after just one episode, but they concocted the perfect explanation: a code word built into the brainwashing. I'm placated.
I think the worst thing about Galavan is how reckless and careless he is. And he doesn't need to be as careless as he is. A man in his position should be delegating power. People like Penguin and Butch should never even be aware he exists. And killing Penguin's mother was stupid, especially since Penguin got away. Now he has no leverage over him, and Penguin has no incentive to keep his mouth shut.
I cannot tell if the line of mock Penguins was a genius move or a stupid one. I'm leaning towards genius, but I think any of his stooges who volunteered for that mission are morons. They are essentially agreeing to be cannon fodder. I mean, that is their entire role. And I have a hard time believing Penguin could find THAT many people who look like him, have enough outfits for all of them, and that they all happen to work for him. This is how stupid this show is. "He killed my mother, Jim," makes me forgive a lot. But I'm not going to pretend this was anything but idiotic.
Tigress killing the cop with a stiletto heel. Sloppy. And it should be easy to trace back to her. Galavan is REALLY bad at this supervillain stuff.
And if he was going to kill Butch, wouldn't it have made more sense to do it at the warehouse? Letting him go for an extra day just gave him opportunity to give Gordon information. I not only resent that Galavan sucks at his job so much. It's that Bruce is falling for something that dumb.
And finally, we turn to Nygma. Who wails at his alter ego as to why he is torturing him. Because it will be fun! And do you know what? It is! The episode really sold the point that the reason the Riddler leaves Riddles is because almost getting caught is the real thrill. Not the crime. Not getting away with it. Almost getting caught. The Riddler is a pretty nonsensical character when you get right down to it. A good villain shouldn't always seem to want to help the hero defeat them, and Riddler ALWAYS gives Batman the out, even if he would have succeeded had he left no clues whatsoever. But almost getting caught IS the point, and the reason the Riddler does anything. It's not his fault Batman catches him so often. He still cannot resist the rush.
This is a terrible episode, but it has so many virtues, and is SO memorable as far as Penguin and Nygma are concerned, that I love it despite it's glaring faults. If Gotham was usually this moving during ALL of its sucky episodes, I wouldn't have a problem with it. ****.
iZombie "Love And Basketball"
Clive was beaten as a kid. Bank on it.
I cannot root for Major and Liv ever because Major is a first degree murderer. And that will never change. At least they finally gave us a good reason he kept the dog. Because his victim asked him to. That's only makes him SLIGHTLY less horrible.
Blaine and Ravi's fight for the poison was awesome. I especially loved the moment it dawned on the both of them that it had to happen. They both seemed a bit alarmed by that fact and that the violence came out of absolutely nowhere.
Query: Why is Liv unconcerned about zombie germs where the coach's whistle is concerned? Considering the main point of the soap opera this episode, I notice these things, writers.
Not bad. ***.
Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. "Among Us Hide..."
ABC lied during the promos. They made it sound as if Andrew was dead. But him being Lash is worse, therefore I don't feel ripped off. And it is clear he knows what he's doing. Scary.
I've decided something about Lance Hunter. I don't like him. His advice to Fitz not to help Will was terrible. Only someone as sucky as Hunter would look at doing something for the woman he loved as helping the competition. Fitz is enough of an adult to realize not everything is about him. The fact that Hunter doesn't understand this means I hate him.
I liked how the rest of crew wasn't giving him any quarter either during the episode. May's fight with Bobbi would have meant more to me if she wasn't merely testing her. May had a very good reason to kick her @$$ for real.
And I tend to agree with Daisy: Coulson isn't horrified enough. He SHOULD be wanting to burn that place to the ground. Because that woman's argument of curing people is bogus. They are abducting people who don't WANT to be cured, and haven't done any actual damage to anyone else. I think if the argument of keeping somebody in suspended animation until there is a cure for cancer had any weight, the people in the boxes should at least consent to it.
First episode of the season to use all of the regular cast members in some capacity. I notice stuff like that.
Next week looks good. ***1/2.
Girl Meets World "Girl Meets The Forgiveness Project"
Sappy, heavy-handed, and a bit badly written. The Disney Channel restrictions don't help things. All that being said, this is pretty much the best the show is able to do using those restrictions so I'd be a jerk if I didn't at least acknowledge that. Yeah, Boy Meets World would have made explicit that Maya's dad cheated on her mom, but we still sort of got that, even if they didn't outright say it.
Do you know what I love? Maya doesn't forgive him! Very cool moral for kids because Maya is under no obligation to do so. Cory just wants her to forgive herself, which is the right lesson (hence the hug). You don't HAVE to forgive someone. It doesn't make you a bad person if you don't. Sometimes people do unforgivable things. It doesn't make the people who refuse to forgive them for it bad people. I think what a culture of forced forgiveness, taught in Churches and schools have fostered is the idea that hurting someone is just as bad as not forgiving them for that. And that's simply not true. And I love that the show is mature enough to state that instead of going for the predictable ending of Maya making peace with her father.
I also really like Auggie's attitude during Riley's b.s. apology. Forget the fact that the girl still carries that demolished teddy bear everywhere she goes, I like that the show had a seven year old understand that she was just trying to make him feel bad. To get a thank you for it. As if something he did when he was three demanded it. Riley's self-absorption has always been a bit alarming, and I like that her seven year old brother calls her out for it. That's not forgiveness. That's narcissism.
Oh, and August Maturo is still a lousy kid actor. But he's getting better, and I imagine the older he gets, the more polished he'll become. But I just have to repeat that this kid that NOT have the gift Ben or Fred Savage did.
Oh, and Farkle totally has Asperger's. What he was doing this episode is an Aspie weakness. Frankly, I'm still a bit astounded the show made the inexplicable decision to state that he doesn't have it. He clearly does.
This is the best the show can do given the hard G format so I'll grade it accordingly. *****.
Disney's Descendants: Wicked World "Lamp Sweet Lamp"
This just knocked itself out of Disney Animated Movie canon. Magic Lamps in the Disney Toonverse are "Itty bitty living spaces", remember? Everybody shrinking down into a comfy lay-out is strictly I Dream Of Jeanie stuff. The lamp is supposed to be a punishment (which makes me wonder exactly what Genie did to get stuck in it). It's shouldn't be a like a TARDIS. Disney Nerd FAIL. 0.
The Muppets "The Ex-Factor"
A classic. First five star episode of the series.
What I love about Piggy's gift is that it is cruel to Kermit but wonderful for Denise. It only helps Kermit and Denise's relationship, while at the same time tortures the dude who deserves it. And the problem is that it is really the perfect gift. Kermit cannot ask for it back under any circumstance. It was SO thoughtful and kind that he should have smelled a trap. It was genius. And she made sure to sing the song beforehand to twist the knife and telegraph exactly what she was doing. Miss Piggy is an evil mastermind.
Kermit has a type. Obnoxious pigs. I loved Piggy saying she was great with kids. It was both mean, hilarious, and sadly accurate.
You misunderstand Uncle Deadly. You think he WANTS to be in this room.
Am I the only one creeped out by Statler calling Miss Noodle a dish? It's Miss Noodle! Jebus!
Chip the IT guy answers the question of what would happen if Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock stood up to scrutiny.
Animal would like to perform with snakes but Zoot's a big baby. I loved him forcing Funyuns on Kristen Chennoweth (THAT is how you do a product placement) and her shoving Tic Tacs down his throat. And the solution is to leave her on the side of the road in the desert with her only companion a bag of Funyuns. That sounds about right. .
Am I the only person who is reminded of Oswald the Prison inmate from In Living Color whenever Dr. Teeth talks?
Scooter at the Plaster Fun Time place was the one weak spot of the episode. Although I had mistaken Kermit's coffee table for a zoo animal too.
Otherwise, nothing but good things to say about this episode. *****.
Star Wars Rebels "Brothers Of The Broken Horn"
I like Hondo and I like that as bad as he is, he never stops trying to do right by Ezra. All of the bad things he did were ultimately harmless which makes his deciding to always be on Ezra's side so cool. At some point at the end I wouldn't have blamed him for turning on Ezra for freeing the prisoner, but he doesn't. He doesn't take this personally and has a sense of humor. And that makes him an interesting character. Because of that I'm not even sure I'd classify him as a villain.
Pretty good. ***1/2.
Star Wars: Droid Tales "Gambit On Geonosis"
"Teddy bears! Run!" That one line summed up both the absolute best thing about Return of the Jedi and the absolute worst. And the messed up thing is that they are the same thing. While the Ewoks and their low-tech attacks are fun for the 8 year old who saw Jedi in the theater, I have to imagine I would NOT have the warm feelings for the Ewoks I do had I been introduced to them as an adult. I probably would have sort of liked them since I love the Muppets. But I'd also think they were lame instead of cool.
I think the main problem with this episode is that they swiped so many jokes from "Family Guy: It's A Trap!". While Luke saying it is obvious Leia is his sister because she's the only woman he's ever met is funny, it would have been a LOT funnier had Family Guy not already done it. They sort of did the same thing with the Emperor's mocking voice to Luke (sans Seth Green slams).
A good ending, but not great. Just like Jedi. ****.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Annihilation: Earth! Part One"
Bishop! Honestly, I was so excited when they said his name at the end of the teaser, I squeed a bit. And he is just as amazing a fighter as the 2003 version. We didn't see as much of it here, but this is again a guy who could kick Shredder's @$$.
AND we get the Utroms? The worst thing about this reboot's Kraangs is that they totally corrupted the message of the Utroms from the comics. NONE of the Turtle series have done right by them, not even 2003 (because of the bad decision to make the "real" Shredder an Utrom) and this fixes this show's sin a bit. Not all of it. Not by a longshot. But at least they exist. I want to know more about Subprime's time with them and his relationship to Bishop. Flashback, please.
Great cliffhanger. It's over so quick I don't even know what happened. ****1/2.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Annihilation Earth! Part Two"
What happened to Splinter at the end was precisely why an alliance with Shredder was as ill-advised as it is. Shredder is a sociopath who only cares about himself, and never truly loved Karai, and just proved it. Splinter would have been better off if it HAD simply been him and April taking on the Triceraton army alone.
Loved seeing Mondo Gecko but was sorely disappointed Napoleon Bonafrog didn't show up.
I love that Michael Dorn still gets steady voice work. And he should. He's crazygood at it.
Fugitoid thoughts: I hate his design. It's not surprising because I hate practically all of the designs but the Turtles, but Bishop had a pretty sweet one, as did the Triceratons, so I was hoping we'd get lucky with Honeycutt. No such luck. It is far too alien, and not enough robot. There should be a rustiness to the Professor, as he's a farmer and built the dang robot. He shouldn't be as smooth as EVE from WALL-E. Bygones.
Nowhere NEAR as good as last year's finale but next year looks interesting. Could you imagine how mad we'd all be if the series had been canceled? Hoo boy! ****.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Beyond The Known Universe"
I was curious to see what they'd do to the main title. I was not disappointed.
Turtles in spacesuits! /Baby Sinclair pointing at the TV: "Mommy! Mommy! I want that!"
I groaned at April's yellow jumpsuit but it grew on me by the end of the episode. Even if I hate the 1987 jumpsuit, and prefer the 2003 show's more grounded fashions, it still is a hundred times better than the yellow T shirt and jeans. And despite what Donnie and Casey think, it's not sexy at all, so at least she isn't objectified like on the old show.
Fugitoid musing about the wonders of almost made me realize David Tennant was the perfect casting choice as Honeycutt. That's totally a Ten line.
Bad things? Lord Dregg? Really? Talk about a Turtleverse Z-lister. They took the bad guy from the shark jump season of the old show? Was Dr. Quease from The Next Mutation unavailable? How bad is Dregg? I regret we didn't get Serling first. THAT is how bad.
Maybe killing off the entire supporting cast in the season finale wasn't the best of ideas after all. Speculation: If they fail this time Fugitoid says he can't send them back again. Should we be paging Renet? Pretty please?
I am skeptical of this season. At least it exists. Annihilation: Earth! would have been the worst episode ever to go out on. ***1/2.
Power Rangers: Dino Charge "No Matter How You Slice It"
I've blathered on elsewhere about the evils of mind control and you are probably sick of hearing it. But Power Rangers' mind control is the worst. Other genre shows use the trope as a crutch too, to make it so the characters aren't responsible for their actions, and therefore never have to pay the consequences. That's true. That's part of why I hate the trope.
But see, those other shows still HAVE genuine conflict at other times. Heck, even Star Trek can occasionally bring genuine pathos between characters who usually get along. ALL of Power Rangers' conflicts are due to mind control. All of them. This is probably the most gutless and wishyashy franchise ever.
This show stating that Koda is the most loyal and virtuous Ranger is interesting. Because he is also by far the stupidest. It doesn't surprise me that this show is trying to build up dumbness as a positive quality. I'm sure if the writers didn't do that in their personal lives, they'd never get laid.
Did I mention the episode sucked? Probably should have led with that. 0.
Heroes Reborn "June 13th: Part Two"
I can't tell what's worse: dead Quentin or evil Quentin. I'm going with Evil Quentin.
The episode still didn't explain why Molly Walker was afraid of HRG. Is she still alive in the rebooted timeline? They should have had Tommy take her power just to screw everything up a bit. Hiro didn't plan for that I'm sure.
I hope that isn't the last we see of Matt Parkman. Because I'd hate the character if it was.
I'm very anxious to see what is different in the rebooted timeline next week. ****1/2.
Haven "Perditus"
I'm confused. I guessed Dave killed Charlotte but how is he not Croatoan and Audrey's father? And if he IS Croatoan why didn't Charlotte ever say so? Argh!
The stuff with Duke was unsettling, including the return of the horseshoe crab with eyeballs. I predict we'll never see Seth again. He had a good run.
Roanoake being a Troubled settlement makes a lot more sense than any real world explanation I've heard. That mystery still confounds me.
I'm kind of mad that they seemed to be saving the revelations hinted at last episode for next week. Haven usually plays fairer than that. Sigh. ***1/2.
Sleepy Hollow "This Red Lady From Caribee"
Evil Mr. Noodle is evil! I love how smooth John was with him. He is a good enough faker to pretend to be outraged at the idea that he was betraying his friends for money. But since he and Jenny were in on it that was pure theater.
I knew something bad had happened when Jenny absorbed the crystal. Something like that can never lead to anything good.
I love that Miss Collins brought Ichabod flowers for their date. Please don't let her be evil!
A good week. ****.
Grimm "Clear And Wesen Danger"
I'm going with bad. And it can't be helped. The show cannot recover from last year. It is impossible. One of the drawbacks of blowing up your show with huge shocking moments is that the show remains blown up. There is no going back for Grimm. While I'm sure the male showrunners thought it was juicy that Adalind was pregnant with Nick's child, in reality, it's rape. Adalind is a rapist and Nick is her victim. I do not want to see them playing house, and I cannot believe the show expects me to get used to it. Part of the reason Spike trying to rape Buffy in season 6 of that show was SUCH a bad idea is that there is no going back from that. And that was just attempted rape. And at least the show had a built in way to rationalize Spike's repentence (gaining a soul). But it was super icky and a case of Marti Noxon deciding to use rape as a learning experience for one of the villains. As if the entire thing is about how bad it made Spike feel. By showing these domestic scenes, Grimm is doing the same thing. Rape should not be the path to self-actualization and the cause for redemption. And it's gross that this show and Buffy think it is.
The other major problem is that the Wesen should have been killed much sooner. I'll grant that the Marshalls were caught off-guard (even if given ample warning) but the thing I took from Nick and Hank's Kung Fu fight is that it was entirely unnecessary. Wu did it right. Just shoot him. The dude already killed two U.S. Marshalls and there isn't a grand jury alive who would indict a cop for that. In the real world cops shoot and kill people over perceived dangers all the time. It's part of why they suck so much. The show trying to get me to believe the gun is the last resort says it is trying to paint cops as better than they are. I understand why cop shows do that but they should have shot that guy in the head immediately. No-one would have blamed them.
A bad week for a bad show. This is never going to get any better. Once Upon A Time has redeemed itself from a bad season. This show won't be able to. *.
Minoriry Report "Honor Among Thieves"
It was fascinating to see a point where Arthur was just as niave and socially awkward as Dash. And he risks their cover because a girl smiled at him. And he hopes she'll do it again.
I love that Arthur seemed to be in control of the entire situation by the end. The one thing that didn't go as planned was Dash getting kidnapped, but once he was safe Arthur owned the bad guy with an owning stick. I also love Dash bonding with his female captor, and telling her the truth about how her husband died. It was very clever to use a murder to send a message and hints at what exactly these powers can be used for.
I liked this one a lot. ****.
Scream Queens "Beware Of Young Girls"
After that eulogy I want to see the killer stab Chanel in her stupid neck repeatedly. I HATE that girl.
And it is no surprise Munsch is a maniac. The only surprise would be if she wasn't a killer.
Grace's boyfriend saying he didn't like blood told me he's one of the killers.
Do you know my biggest complaint? Not only was there too much blood on the walls but it was too legible with no mistakes or misspellings. People misspell signs all the time and you can't exactly throw out a wall after you make a mistake in blood. The crime was TOO perfect.
Chad's lactose intolerance excuse is the worst I've ever heard. He's f***ing that goat.
Why does Hester have 9 tampons? How big is her cooch anyways?
Stuff like that has got to make Seth MacFarlane happy. This show now means he can get away with anything.
And Munsch in the mental hospital was just as bad as Chanel in prison a few weeks ago. Munsch would get eaten alive in there and if the show is asking me to believe it is like a spa they are wrong. Because I've been in one and it is horrible. This show doesn't think much of its audience.
I'm glad this season is going to be short. I kind of want to know the resolution to the mystery as soon as possible. ***1/2.
The Blacklist "Sir Crispin Crandall"
Nice to see Harris Yulin is still alive. Good.
The Director is totally out of his depth. He's a pretty big threat behind the curtain, moving the chess pieces, but once he actually has to go toe to toe with Red himself? He's in over his head. He is going to regret rejecting that life preserver Red just threw him. So I anticipate some fun comeuppance in the future.
Speaking of, how great was it that Tom psychoanalyzed the entire fight at the end before it happened? By doing so it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Neat trick.
I love Red pointing out to Crandall that his plan was totally illogical. Mankind cannot survive into the future without the best and brightest to guide them. And Crandall is just hogging them for a situation that will NEVER happen if they are already gone from the world. For someone who places so much value on intelligence, Crandall is quite dimwitted. It's the God Complex. Gets them every time.
What I love about how Red handled the Inspector is that even if it WAS a carrot, he forced him into it. He did the favor in front of his fiance before he could object. And since the Inspector WAS ethical he HAD to take the deal. It was the only right thing to do in that moment. He could have crushed the fiance in the name of preserving his integrity, but that would have been WRONG, and since he's ethical, that's a nonstarter. I've said before that many of Red's victims don't feel like victims by the time he is done with them. The Inspector is an excellent example of that. Carrots, not sticks.
Fabulous episode. *****.
Black Jesus "Never Say When"
"A Darby Man never says when," has got to be the best slogan for alcohol I have ever heard. It is both classy and low-rent at the same time. It sounds upscale but dogwhistles to the bums what is really going on. Genius really.
It must suck to be Jesus. Nobody is grateful to you, nobody takes your advice, and you get blamed when things happen exactly the way you warned they would. Seriously. Vic sucks. It is messed up how bad he is for Lloyd. Lloyd is a bum who Vic lets live with him. And yet every decision he makes for him has Lloyd wind up in a worse and worse spot. It is hard to believe how singularly bad Vic is for the universe.
Jesus has the patience of a saint. I mean, I SORT of get forgiving Lloyd, but the fact that Jesus still loves Vic tells me he's the real deal. If he WAS a fake, he wouldn't bother. Vic cannot wrap his head around the idea of somebody doing something for somebody else out of the goodness of their heart. Frankly, I think Jesus was giving him too much credit at the end for why he forced himself to be Lloyd's manager. The truth is he did it so he would still be Lloyd's superior. It was pure vanity on his end. He figured, even if Lloyd was richer and more successful than him, it wouldn't matter because he'd still take orders from him, which would make Vic the de facto better and more powerful person. And Vic does not even have the grace to thank Jesus for putting such a positive spin on his selfishness. Jesus is super insightful (as he was pointing out Vic's various failings at the end). But he is entirely too trusting and forgiving. That's probably what got him on that cross.
I really liked this episode. ****1/2.
Fargo "Fear And Trembling"
First great episode of an otherwise shaky season.
Let us talk about the hot mess that is Peggy. If she and Ed die it will be entirely due to her poor decision making and Ed being stupid enough to follow her lead. Sheriff Halvorson's right. They're dead and they just don't know it yet. He gave them a perfect out and they refused to take it. Frankly, I think Ed would have chickened out even without Peggy pushing him to, but she made it easier.
And the whole check bouncing thing shows exactly how stupid Peggy is. She adds complications to their life when it is already complicated enough. And it's starting to attract attention.
Ponzi's scene with Sonny and Carl was great. Nick Offerman with a beard and no moustache is still going to take some getting used to.
I love the kid with the bum hand showing Dodd that he knew how to quickly reload a gun one-handed. It was awesome because you could tell he had practiced it. Dodd was stupid too. Him messing with those guys in the donut shop gave Brad Garrett's character the perfect excuse to reject Floyd's reasonable offer. And he was right to. She cannot control her sons. They are a liability.
This episode show how cruel the idea of drug trials actually are. And the worst part about them is that the folks who get placeboes aren't even allowed to pursue other avenues of treatment for fear of wrecking the study. I think drug trials are a REALLY bad idea and always have been.
Amazing. ****1/2.
Toy Story That Time Forgot
Holy cow! That was MUCH worse than I remembered! That was awful.
Where to begin? I think this special is a turning point for the Toy Storyverse. It pretty much showed all of the flaws of the premise, with none of the many selling points. The climax isn't actually exciting. The threat isn't real, it's imagined. This is the first non-short with no stakes whatsoever. Party Central similarly soured me on the Monstersverse, and Planes: Fire And Rescue did the same thing for the Carsverse. I think this is Toy Story's shark jump. And I'm not counting Buzz Lightyear of Star Command because nobody considers that trainwreck canon to anything. This is the worst legit Toy Story project. Ever.
First off, this special shows one of the biggest flaws of the Toy Storyverse. It can't be helped, but usually the characters are in real jeopardy, so you roll with it. But Toy Story projects always try to make mundane stupid moments seem huge and dramatic. Sometimes it works. Here it does not. When Reptillus says "I thought I knew you," the special is playing the moment like an epic love story. And it's just stupid and badly written. And you kind of realize maybe ALL of Toy Story is, and you just didn't notice before now because they weren't so obvious about it.
There are only so many different kinds of stories you can tell in this format, and they all involve either the toy getting lost, the kid growing up, toys getting broken, the new toys not realizing they're toys, the toys getting stolen, etc. The franchise hasn't really shown us anything new since the second movie. And that bums me out. And they can't break this particular format either so those are the only stories we're getting. Maybe it was a good thing the Toy Story canon used to be so limited before Toy Story 3.
Secondly, as fabulous as Kristen Schaal is, Trixie cannot carry a Toy Story project. They somehow made Jessie, one of the most annoying characters, work as the protagonist of the Halloween special, but Trixie just does not cut it. At all.
Third, that post coitus scene with Trixie and Reptillus is freaking disgusting. It takes an innocent experience and tries to sexualize it. It is super gross and creepy, uncool for a kids special, and freaks me out just thinking about it. I might have been able to forgive everything else, but that moment is the precise thing that ruins the special for me and why I'll be giving it one star.
We'll talk about some good things before I do that.
Angel Kitty was very Zen. The fact that he talks like a toddler was oddly appropriate.
What's ignorance? I'unno. I laughed. I also loved Trixie's observation that everybody wants to live in an apartment shaped like their head. Come to think of it, I do too.
The Cleric is totally a Skeksis from The Dark Crystal. And you can't tell me he isn't. "I find their lack of armor disturbing." Even I can admit that's a good joke.
Second Toy Story project in a row without John Ratzenberger. He must have been at a tea-bagger rally.
Plot Holes: How does "Get Bonnie!" make any sense as a plan? The toys aren't allowed to let their kids know they're alive. And if the Battlesaurs don't know they're toys, why do they automatically freeze in place when Bonnie and Mason enter the playroom? Hmmm.
Honestly, this is pretty much the franchise jumping the shark. I hated it. *.
Reptillus!:
When the writers are talking about how they crafted this lavish backstory for the Battlesaurs I buried my face in my hands. Totally overthinking it. After talking about it for awhile even the producer says "It's so dumb." Exactly. ***.
Toy Story Goes To Comic-Con:
They didn't show much of the panel, because I'm betting since Kristen Schaal was on it, it was mostly R-rated. Just a hunch. ***.
Karaoke: My Unexpected Friend:
Wow, I never realized how irreplaceable Randy Newman is to this franchise. This cat Alex Mandel's music absolutely sucks. Somethin' fierce. There is no part of this special that isn't subpar. Overall: 0.
Reptillus Sings: With Kevin McKidd vocals. 0.
You Sing: With no vocals. 0.
Battlesaurs: Animated Opening:
That was excellent! TOO excellent. The animation was TOO polished and perfect. The kinds of shows they are satirizing all have crummy animation. So as awesome as this is, it is also inauthentic. ****1/2.
Deleted Scenes:
Mostly garbage. Overall: *1/2.
Battlesaurs Christmas: The temp voice tracks are awful. Kristen Schaal has one of those voices that is impossible to imitate and it sound totally wrong here. The guy who does Tom Hanks sucks too. Here is something interesting: this hints that the Christmas toys and decorations have a sad backstory and have to live in the attic for most of the year. The entire Toy Story premise has a depressing subtext behind it if you want to get down to it, so I try not to think about it too hard. Hamm and Dolly are in this scene but not in the special itself. **1/2.
Prisoners Of Bone: Buzz Lightyear does NOT have the high ground in being annoyed a toy doesn't realize it's a toy. **1/2.
SOS: Best of the deleted scenes. Bonnie is lured to the dark side of videogames. And Buster from Toy Story 2 gets a shout-out. ****.
Trixie's Proposal: God, this special sucked. 0.
Light Of Play: Disgusting in any version. 0.
Easter Egg:
2 cute outtakes. ****.
The Good Dinosaur Trailer: This movie has been put off forever and you'd figure they'd be able to get us a more interesting trailer than THAT. **.
Inside Out Blu-Ray Trailer: Cute. Better than the theatrical trailer because it shows you actual scene from the movie rather than old Pixar clips. The new short looks interesting too.
Blu-Ray Menu: Shockingly boring. *.
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Okay, I tried to come up with some more:
Gang war between toys made by different manufacturers.
A feminist Barbie feeling ashamed about embodying a gender stereotype.
Toys being forced to star in stop-motion Youtube videos.
The toys finding religion, and worshipping the almighty Hasbro. The conclusion to the cartoon could be the revelation that human beings are actually playthings manufactured by a higher power.
A day in the life of a dildo.
An examination of the racism experienced by those porcelain dolls with "not a toy" on their packaging.
Toys rising up against humanity and ending their status of servitude.
Think I could get a job at Pixar...?
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