"Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice" Review (Major Spoilers)

[matt_zimmer]

Also reviews for the latest episodes of Teen Titans Go!, The Flash, and DC's Legends Of Tomorrow, the season finale of Supergirl, the latest episodes of Gotham, Lucifer, The Powerpuff Girls, Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D., Marvel's Avengers: Ultron Revolution, Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy, Once Upon A Time, The Lion Guard, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Transformers: Robots In Disguise, and Grimm, the season finale of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and the latest episodes of Bob's Burgers, Family Guy, American Dad, Bordertown, The Last Man On Earth, Bates Motel, The Blacklist, and Blindspot, as well as another Fantagraphics book collection of Floyd Gottfredson's Mickey Mouse Comic Strip.

Upcoming reviews include Doctor Who: Series 9, Doctor Who: Dark Water / Death In Heaven, Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, The Lion Guard: Return Of The Roar (DVD), Inside Out (Blu-Ray), The Good Dinosaur (Blu-Ray), Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Blu-Ray), Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales, Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Cosmic Clash, Justice League Vs. Teen Titans, Arrow: Season 3, The Flash: Season 1, Gotham: Season 1, iZombie: Season 1, Be Cool Scooby Doo!: Spooky Kooky Fun!, Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Prod.: Hare-Raising Tales, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Half-Shell Heroes: Blast To The Past, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Heroes Reborn: The Complete Series, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Haven: The Final Season, Under The Dome: Season 3, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), 12 Monkeys: Season 1, Grimm: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 4, The Peanuts Movie, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay: Part 2, Community: Season 6, and Game Of Thrones: Season 5.



Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice

I liked it more than I thought I would.

I love that the movie was actually kind enough to give us a clear winner in this fight: Batman. A lesser movie would have decided to make it a "tie" until they teamed up. But this movie definitely said that, no, Batman actually won.

I forgot Martha Kent and Martha Wayne have the same first names. That was a great moment.

Amy Adams in the tub: Swoon!

As for Ben Affleck, it's not that he was bad (or good). It's just he wasn't the best person for Batman. There have to be dozens of great actors out there of the same age who would be better for the role. I get that he's "good enough". But I'm sick of having to settle for Batman actors because the studios always want a name. WB took a chance with Christopher Reeve, Brandon Routh, and Henry Cavill. Why does Batman always have to be a famous person?

So the scene of Superman ripping off the mask was a dream sequence? Wow, the trailers do NOT play fair with the audience. I was actually angered by that.

I think my biggest problem with the movie is that it had so much going on it was hard to follow. What exactly did Lex do that put him on the heroes' radar? What was his specific role in everything? I couldn't always tell what was a dream sequence and what wasn't. I couldn't follow a great deal of the last act.

Gal Gadot was perfect as Wonder Woman. Love that they let her keep her accent. Dynamite.

I would not have minded the death of Superman so much if it hadn't slowed down the last twenty minutes of the movie. It made the movie seem like a bigger bummer than it was. The movie was a LOT more fun than I expected, and Superman ain't gonna actually stay dead, so I was kind of miffed they made the ending sad for no real reason.

I also have to say, just based on the opening, I was immediately Team Batman. The fact that Superman didn't care about all of the carnage in the last movie IS appalling, and Bruce is right to be angry. I'm glad they moved the climax of THIS movie to an abandoned island.

I liked this more than I expected. DEFINITELY better than Man Of Steel. And by a lot. ****.




Teen Titans Go! "Bottle Episode"

It appears the seagull outside the Titans Tower has died.

The bad:

While it is funny and insightful to point out the tropes of a bottle episode and make fun of them, they lost me when they turned it into an actual clip show. Does this show even NEED a clip show? It's 11 minutes long, the animation is flash, and has a small voice cast and is probably super cheap to make. There's a difference in poking fun of a bad trope, and taking part in a bad trope.

The good:

Those were still some pretty sweet clips. My favorites were the songs and action scenes. I like that unlike many clip shows, this show showed us dozens of clips at once. So unlike most clip shows, the pace wasn't actually boring.

So-so. ***.




The Flash "Versus Zoom"

I'm frankly shocked Zoom IS our "Jay". I expected him to be the Earth 1 double, but this is much worse. Holy cow.

When I heard that guy tell that woman in the orphanage that nobody in Hunter's family wanted him, my first reaction was "Wow, the social services on Earth 2 suck". That is a Dursley level of stinky parenting.

I love that Harry goes to Joe's house to convince him to try to get Barry to give up visiting Earth 2, but Joe winds up convincing Harry to help Barry instead. His rationale is sound: Barry stands a MUCH better chance of surviving if Welles is involved.

Barry is such a great son. I love how he gently points out to Joe that Wally wanted to move in. What a cool moment between those two.

Cisco will not become evil. Because he has Barry. I pray the same is true for Caitlin. But doubt it. I think Jay kidnapping her is what is going to turn her into Killer Frost.

Man in the Iron Mask? Oliver Queen?

Pretty dire situation, especially since Barry doesn't have his powers. How can they get Caitlin back without them? Considering how long it took Zoom to get Flash's powers while has ALREADY had powers, I can't see how Barry can do it without any powers at all.

I guess Wally is in the club now. Good.

Good episode. ****.

DC's Legends Of Tomorrow "Last Refuge"

I kind of feel like the pieces of this didn't fall together perfectly. Or at all. Not knowing the outcome of Jax and his father was unsatisfying to say the least (although it could make a joyous finale) and the idea that Rip was a cutthroat murderer as a child didn't sit right with me. I mean, it makes sense on paper that Rip would know his kid self would kill Pilgrim and solve the problem. That SOUNDS like a good solution.

Except that just makes the fact that Rip refused to kill the kid Hitler a couple of weeks ago unforgivable. That was already problematic, but he's already a multiple murderer? Now it's inexplicable.

And Ray and Kendra seem to be looking for any stupid reason to break up. Maybe it's not that "destiny will destroy them" that is the enemy of their relationship. Maybe it's the fact that they don't want to be together deep down and are looking for excuses not to have to hurt the other person.

And how is the Omega Protocol still in place? They made a pretty big deal that the Time Masters only get one shot at that. Do they get a do-over if they send somebody else? And why didn't they pick up Baby Ray after all that? Or for that matter, why didn't 2014 Ray have to wait in the timeship and the old lady mansion with everybody else? As I've stated, the pieces of this just do NOT want to hold together.

I REALLY regret that Quentin took the amnesia pill. Could have saved Oliver a LOT of grief if he had known Oliver hadn't gotten his daughter killed (twice!).

I like that when Jax asks if young Rory should be left alone, Mick says he just volunteered to babysit. And Sara has always been a tough cookie. Even before she was shipwrecked she knew how to deal with guys like kid Rory.

Rory telling his kid self not to blame himself was a good moment. I cannot deny that.

I also love Kendra swooning over Baby Snart and Sara being all "Oh, for Pete's sake!" until she actually sees him and falls in love herself. So cute.

I have to say this wasn't exactly a terrible episode, but I think it is unlike the previous episodes in that it put the show's weaknesses front and center, and showed that the canon doesn't hold together well. For all of the previous weeks, including the episodes I disliked, I could sort of just go along with the ride. But because of the plot discrepancies here, I don't feel like I can do that anymore, and I'm worried that will extend to future episodes too. I hope I'm wrong. I hope that this was merely a bad week, that I'll forget all about when we see them battling Savage next week. But it WAS a bad week. *.

Supergirl "Better Angels"

I liked it. I like how they wrapped up this year's arc while setting up a new twist for season 2. I especially like how they didn't end the cliffhanger on a dangerous, life-threatening situation. Now it is intriguing instead of annoying.

I thought Kara and Alex's goodbye was ridiculously drawn out. If they were going to do that, they should have made the countdown clock fifteen minutes. I was like "Get it over with! Her brain is gonna explode!" I also thought Kara's goodbyes were kind of dumb because we already know she's going to survive. I like that Alex saved her though, and thought the method she used was clever because it was already set up.

Solid first season finale. ****.

Gotham "Wrath Of The Villains: Pinewood"

I loved that. What can I say? I admit the writing and acting sucked, but the episode pushed all of the right buttons. That's good enough for this usual trainwreck of a show.

To start off, I love how we KIND of think Gordon is being a complete d*ck to Barbara, simply because she seems to be this show's version of Harley Quinn, and Batman usually shows a little sympathy towards her at times. Jim is SO inflexible and outright nasty, that I'm kind of amazed that he could treat a person he used to care about like that. That's not something a hero would do.

And then the show is smart enough to point out that she tried to kill Lee, and that Gordon is not only under no obligation to forgive that, but that it would be weird if he did. Suddenly, I get exactly why he is so mad and hurt, and it amazes me that the episode was sort of steering me towards the idea initially that Jim was being unreasonable. When he wasn't. Not by a longshot.

I like the idea that it's Huge Strange who ordered the hit on the Waynes, but I fear that the show will AGAIN wind up saying in the finale that Strange answered to someone else to keep the mystery going a few more seasons. If I had more faith in the show I wouldn't worry about that, but this is the worst current DC show on the air (very narrowly edging out Teen Titans Go!), and I think the thing that WOULD surprise me is if it played fair with the audience.

I love the idea of Galavan as Azrael, but I do regret that he's not dead because it is the show taking the easy way out. Now Gordon is no longer a murderer, and he doesn't have to answer for his actions or the fact that he's been lying to Barnes for so long. That really bothers me because Jim Gordon is a LOT like the corrupt cops in Gotham in never having to be held accountable for his actions. He DID actually kill Galavan. I don't care that Strange brought him back to life. His actions and intent were clear, and he shouldn't be off the hook for them.

Speaking of corrupt cops, that was the most genius break-out ever. Because Gordon and Bruce just gave the guard a VERY huge incentive to not follow them and keep her head down. And the messed up thing about the plan is how simple it is. Maybe mob bosses don't need high priced attorneys. Maybe if they have enough money, they can pretty much bait their way out of any trap.

Gotta say, Alfred was being a complete turd with Jennings, even for him. It's obvious this woman has been through the wringer, and he's practically making fun of her deformities. And unlike Barbara, Jennings is a complete innocent. Do you know what I think? I don't think the show is slamming Alfred in that moment. They just legitimately think that's a good way to have verbal conflict. And that crap is NOT just this show, it effects every superhero show and comic. Justice League, pretty much the greatest superhero show of all time, had Green Lantern in the first season call Aquaman a madman for cutting off his arm to save his baby son's life. While his wife was in earshot and still grappling with the trauma of that loss. And yet, I'm betting the writers of Justice League just thought, "Oh, this just shows John Stewart is a hard@$$." When in reality, it is something that is pretty much unforgivable and that a sociopath would say. And I never did forgive him for that. I think this show wanted to say "Hey, Alfred's kinda prickly" without being self-aware enough to realize that he sounds like a total monster. Terrible behavior in superhero shows is just treated as everyday conflict. If I ever heard Alfred speak to a disabled member of my family the way he did Jennings, I would not only never forgive him, but I'd also make sure he stayed as far away from me and my family as possible. But in the minds of a superhero writer, it's "just another conflict."

The problem with superhero comics and cartoons and TV shows is that the writers don't know where the line is for acceptable manners for heroes. That is why Laurel Lance pretty much can say the most horrible things anybody could ever think of and still wind up the Black Canary. It's like superhero writers think if you aren't robbing banks, you're automatically a good person and get a free pass for whatever you say. And that was Alfred in that moment.

But again, I DID love the episode. I'm only taking off half a star for Alfred being a prick. ****1/2.




Lucifer "#TeamLucifer"

Amazeballs.

The show keeps coming up with can't miss premises, and I don't know how much longer they can do that. But this is the best premise yet: Satan worshippers pervert Lucifer's message every bit as much as fundamentalist Christians pervert Jesus'. And by God, just based on the Lucifer in this show, that HAS to be true. And I'm really glad that the show actually had Lucifer say he isn't evil, he punishes evil. The distinction there is huge, and again sort of ties into how Jesus' message got so effed up over the years. It was people believing the opposite thing He wanted them to believe, and supposedly doing all of this horrific crap in His name that did it. And Lucifer now kind of gets why being a deity sucks. You get blamed for everything, even stuff you had nothing to do with. And unlike God, Lucifer doesn't actually WANT to be worshipped. Lucifer is clean-cut and nice, and these Satanists are stupid and gross. He has a REALLY terrible fan club. Almost as bad as Jesus'.

And yet, I love Lucifer's perspective that the Satan worshippers were innocent. What I love about that is that it's actually true. These morons had no idea what they were doing, and didn't deserve to be murdered just because they were tacky. This show has the most thought-provoking morals.

I have to say it was a bit rich for Maze to chide both Amenadiel and Lucifer for using her. She could legitimately claim that of Lucifer, but after how hurt Amenadiel was over her trying to kill him, she had no claims to the high ground with him. Unlike Lucifer, Amenadiel actually cares for her. His and Lucifer's behavior towards her is NOT equivalent.

I love that they brought back the charlatan preacher. Because there is no more extreme of a fundamentalist than an actual convert. For real.

I cannot believe Chloe actually thinks Lucifer did that. I really cannot. Lucifer has been trying to give her every benefit of every doubt, and she's the one who loses faith in him? Ironic.

At first I thought it was a bit out of character that Lucifer was so frightened by his mortality, when just a few episodes ago he appeared to love it and be excited by it. But as the episode went on, I kind of think he's scared of it now, because he thinks there's a chance it is deliberate. The fact that he ultimately decides to believe in Chloe, despite the fact that there is no other explanation than that she is an angel set against him, makes her thinking him a murderer especially ironic.

Is Lucifer right? Is Amenadiel out of Heaven for having sex with a demon? I doubt it. Why? Because Amenadiel actually cares for Maze. If it were purely carnal Lucifer might have a point, but since it is real to Amenadiel I think he can still be redeemed.

Seriously messed up week, and I think next week is gonna be the end for Chloe and Dan. I cannot picture her ever forgiving him for allowing Malcolm to get as far as he did. And Malcolm is probably the Big Bad of the season. Which is weird, because I had previously suspected that would be Amenadiel. But when all is said and done, Lucifer may need his brother's help.

Can't wait for next week. *****.




The Powerpuff Girls "The Wrinklegruff Gals"

I was super bored with this, but there was one thing I liked: Them recreating the old main title with the anticlimactic twist that nothing went wrong with the chemical concoction whatsoever. I laughed at that. **.




Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. "The Team"

I love that they made it Daisy. SO smart. Juicier, worse, and frankly, the character has built up enough goodwill with fans that we'll be able to forgive her when this is all over. Even if it IS mind control, I wouldn't be rooting for Lincoln to come back the same way I am her. It makes sense it's her too. Because she is the person who knew how to frame Lincoln perfectly. She slams him earlier in the episode for taking advantage of their relationship for S.H.I.E.L.D. spyjinx purposes, when it turns out she did the same thing, but for Hydra. Love the symmetry of that idea. Love that Ward calls her Skye too.

How cool is Leo? As long as he has been waiting, Fitz still manages to make a joke of it by holding off even longer just to drive Simmons nuts. That idea is funny to me, and kind of tells me he now sees that he's past the part where he could potentially blow this. It's just a matter of when. And if drawing it out even a TEENY bit more drives Simmons crazy, or crazy h0rny, it's totally worth it.

I regret Gideon dying for two reason. Firstly, Powers Boothe is a great actor, and this week was his best performance. It's not just that his God failed him. That happens to believers all the time. God freaking killed his daughter, and for no real reason either other than to prove a point. As big a d!ck as Old Testament God is, he didn't actually go through with it with Abraham. Gideon is freaking Job in this scenario, and unlike Job, has enough wisdom to see he might have been worshipping the wrong guy all along. I would have loved another few weeks of Malick as S.H.I.E.L.D.'s inside man. As Coulson noted, vengeance can get a guy pretty far. The second reason I regretted it was confirmed by the upcoming episodes promo: it means the homeless guy's visions ARE fixed, cannot be changed, and it means someone is going to die. I am going to predict it WON'T be Daisy, although she IS a a credible Dark Horse. My money is on Lincoln for two reasons: If Daisy kills him she'll never forgive herself when she regains her senses. Juicy again. Secondly, Luke Mitchell is the one guy far less central to the cast than the others. And like the fact that the series gutlessly killed off Trip rather than TRULY mess with the status quo, that means Lincoln is the most likely candidate. However if S.H.I.E.L.D. were a great show, it would be Daisy. Full stop. Give her a big self-sacrificing moment hero at the end for atonement, and have her throw how much Ward sucks into his face one last time, before he kills her. I'd love that.

Mack is also not out of the question. Even though he is more central to the team than Lincoln, Lincoln is the only character LESS central than him. Plus, he's black, and genre loves killing off black guys to save their white friends (see Trip again). My guess is Lincoln, runner up is Daisy, and third in line is Mack. We'll see how I do in a few weeks. ****.




Marvel's Avengers: Ultron Revolution "Thunderbolts Revealed"

Really surprised they are actually trying to redeem the Beetle. He's been a bad guy in this loose continuity since Ultimate Spider-Man's first season. We'll see if that crosses over to Spidey's show.

Do you know what would have been weird? If they had made Zemo interested in redemption too. Frankly, he's too big of a dirtbag for that, but that would have been a nice surprise.

Better than average week. ****.

Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy "Asgard War: Part Two: Rescue Me"

I love that this show actually puts up the money to license classic songs. Even the DC toons, with their much higher budgets, don't do that.

I think Thor's "All is forgiven" attitude with Loki is insane, but it will lead to further complications down the road, which is good for the show. I'll live with it.

Good conclusion, although I was very confused by the "Agent Cooper waking up with bedhead" ending. ***1/2.




Once Upon A Time "Ruby Slippers"

Ooooh, the fundies are gonna go into conniptions over this! It's one thing for Mulan to have an unrequited crush on Sleeping Beauty, but Red Riding Hood and Dorothy Gale sharing a passionate kiss? ABC is gonna get letters. Good. It's about time family shows normalized something like that.

Not much else to say about Hades and Zelina, or Belle and Rumple. But I like that this family show is showing kids that love doesn't always mean the same thing to everybody. Sometimes it means more. ****.



The Lion Guard "The Mbali Fields Migration"

That baby zebra was cute.

No song this week.

I mostly liked it. ***1/2.




Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "The Ever-Burning Fire"

Eh. Not impressed. Next week looks boss though. **1/2.




Transformers: Robots In Disguise "Impounded"

The good: about time the show addressed the fact that Grimlock does not have a proper disguise and cannot hide anywhere.

The bad: They didn't actually bother to give him a good one! A GOOD show would have made him a triple-changer and given him a vehicle mode. That would also wring a new toy out of it.

Also, I keep wondering what Optimus Prime, Sideswipe, Drift, and Windblade are up to. If they were going to make Optimus a regular, I'd kind of like to see him. **1/2.




Grimm "Good To The Bone"

All right, but the problem with the episode is that there wasn't really a crime, and the episode couldn't buy it's way out of that. They killed the Wesen off because he didn't belong in jail, and that's where he would have gone if he hadn't died. At least Nick and Hank have the grace to let his parents eat him. What an insane sentence.

Hank's girlfriend is in Black Claw. There is no other reason as to why she'd be asking so many questions about "The Grimm", (which by the way is a term the villains use) than she's pumping him for information. My guess, Black Claw is holding her brother hostage. Diana shows that they are not above separating families to get what they want. Diana was a carrot for Adalind. I'm thinking the woman's brother is a stick.

Do you know what I like about Hank? I'm betting he's guessing that she's Black Claw. He seems VERY suspicious of her all throughout the episode, and sort of has to be dragged into the date kicking and screaming. Russell Hornsby is playing it like Hank already knows he shouldn't trust her.

I don't get WHY Wu hasn't gone to Nick for help. It's obvious the way out of this jam is the Healing Stick. And I'm thinking Lycanthropy may be a fatal disease for non-Wesen. There is no other reason the vulture Wesen would have targeted him over Monroe unless he was convinced he was dying soon. And that head injury was far from fatal.

Eve's stuff sucked, as always.

Slightly above average week. ***.




Brooklyn Nine-Nine "Greg And Larry"

Great episode title because you don't know what it means until the last scene.

Witness protection, huh? Next season's premiere will be fun.

Sarcasm, Bob? And I thought you couldn't get any lower. Classic Holt. The teaser was excellent too.

Who spells Andarsan with three A's?

I love the squad's individual interrogation techniques and thought Jake's was the best. And of course Holt knows Funky Cold Medina. It would be weird if he worked with Jake for three years and he didn't.

Quit licking things off walls, Hitchcock.

First class denizens are divas, aren't they? Holy cow, were Charles and Amy mean. I love how Amy turns on a dime with the ticket lady once she realizes what is going to get her on the plane. "Give me special treatment!" And it works! Funny.

I like that Amy said goodbye to all the prisoners and pointed out her and the Neo-Nazi never clicked.

I was hoping Adrian Pimento would show up, but maybe next season.

I loved Diaz's landlord's description of her, and how Amy vowed there would be a conversation later. And it makes sense that Rosa Diaz isn't actually her real name. I laughed at that joke.

Terry was SO upset Bob didn't have kids. His whole interrogation depended on it. Now he has to use hypotheticals!

No tools, Diaz. Swords, either. How do they expect to get anything?

I like how they ultimately tricked Bob into giving up the location of the folder. That was a classic Peralta move. I love when the show does stuff like that.

Great finale. ****1/2.




Bob's Burgers "The Hormone-uims"

I love this episode so much.

First off, that is probably the best end credit sequence the show has done.

Secondly, Bob is an amazing father. He gets Tina to make the right decision so she can go to the spin-the-bottle party. He knows it's harmless, and a part of growing up, and isn't one of those possessive father's trying to keep their daughters away from boys. And Tina was right at the end. Misinformation is MUCH worse than mono. Frankly, as bad as Mr. Frond usually is, his motives are SO whack here that it's almost out of character. I never liked him, but now I'm questioning if he's fit to be around children. The adults on this show minus Bob, and SOMETIMES Teddy and Linda, all suck.

I have a hard time believing the Booze Shoe was already a thing, and I probably would have embraced that B-plot otherwise. It could never work for the reasons the episode specified. The shoes are mad expensive, and the only people dumb enough to buy something like that couldn't afford it. She was pricing herself out of stupid people range, and that's the base.

I like that Bob admires Marshmallow and her lifestyle. That is another way Bob is really cool.

I cannot say enough good things about this episode. *****.




Family Guy "Take A Letter"

Do you know what I love? The episode gave Peter legitimately adult reasons for why he had second-thoughts about his wedding. Lois' family HATED him, and that's kind of a tough situation to place yourself into permanently. This show does not do realistic reactions very often, especially with Peter. But he was relatable in this episode in a way he usually never is. ****.

American Dad "The Dentist's Wife"

Do you know what scene got to me? The scene at the beginning where Roger actually got her the water. I was like "This is gonna be a great episode!"

And then... IT WASN'T! Total whiff! Which is insane because the idea of Roger being disappointed with his personas being unable to live up to a cooler real-life person is an irresistible premise. And the episode also sucks for trying to say the Dentist's wife is actually much less cooler than she appears. But it's the fact that she was legitimately cool that made her interesting in the first place. Now, I have no idea why Roger obsesses over her. The episode had a money in the bank premise, and couldn't stick to it because the show ALWAYS has to be dark and cynical. I don't usually mind that, but if it makes an episode that could have potentially been a classic mediocre, you bet I do.

I am so disappointed. *.




Bordertown "Heart Attack"

I'm just going to say the it: the idea of a 180 lb. 5-year-old having a heart attack during a child beauty pageant isn't funny. It's disturbing. I feel weird watching something like that, much less being asked to laugh at it. I get that the Buchwalds are trash. I do. I don't see why I should have to feel bad about that.

I like that Reverend Fantastic seems to be modeled after the late baseball announcer Harry Carey. Will Ferrell did a good impression of him on SNL.

Believe it or not, NBC used to be a respectable television network. Better than Conan's pretend one.

I was disturbed by this. *.




The Last Man On Earth "Fourth Finger"

I'll just say it: the Todd thing is too much. The show cannot keep doing stuff like that and hope to sustain itself. And they can only use this idea once. What happens when they're sick of it? The problem with a cast this small is that you can only do so many melodramatic things with them. Todd as a people pleaser works now. What about five seasons from now? I've always thought this show was on a clock, and I think it's starting to run out. I predict if it gets renewed again, this will be its last good season. It's going to jump the shark VERY soon, my guess is in the early part of season 3. It cannot keep going like this.

Melissa saying "That's hot" about Todd shows coolness standards have totally become lax with only three guys on Earth.

For the record, I see why Tandy is so threatened by Mike. Mike is smart, cool, likable, and has an outright sinister streak. There are a couple moments here where if I were Will Forte, I would have instinctively taken a step back, even if I knew Jason Sudeikis was just acting. And I didn't know Sudeikis had that in him until this show. The idea that he would put a sleeping Tandy next to a cliff is frightening. Because there is a LARGE chance that prank could have gone deadly wrong, and Mike isn't too stupid to realize it. But he thought the risk to Phil's life was worth it for the message it sent. That is pretty frightening, especially since he's his brother and the only family he has left on Earth.

And frankly, Mike is right to be angry. I love that it's Phil involving Todd that is the thing that causes Mike to want to end the prank war. Phil makes everything weird, and I could tell Mike was sickened that that weirdness was starting to infect people he liked. And the thing with the letter shows that Tandy has no idea how to do a proper prank. I was moved with their scene at the end, but I kind of realized exactly why everybody hates Phil so much. It's because he is a horrible person who doesn't care who he hurts to make himself feel better.

Calling it: this is the show's last good season. I'm betting it falls apart right out of the gate at the beginning of season 3. Another prediction: the virus is going to claim Mike in the season finale. Which will make it authomatically amazing. I look forward to enjoying this show for as long as it will be possible to enjoy it. And I don't think it's for that much longer. ****.




Bates Motel "The Vault"

As much as I've grown to hate her, Norma Bates was amazing this episode. I have NEVER seen her be completely honest with a person before, and as she said, it's because Alex is the first person she's loved enough to do so. So I'm betting that also means Norman and Dylan never earned this honor either. This is literally the first time Norma admitted consensual sex with Caleb. Yes, he raped her, but before Norma pretty much exclusively said that was what their relationship was all about, and they had actually been having sex for years before that happened. I will bet Alex is now the only other person besides Caleb himself who knows the whole truth.

Alex was amazing too. "Where are we going?" I love that the beginning is a joke that Norma is the one who is going to wreck things, but it's precisely Norma being honest for the first time ever that strengthens their bond. I love that.

It's a pity Norma didn't kill Chick. That would have solved a LOT of problems. Him kissing her was disgusting.

This episode also shows why Norman is as messed up as he is. I do not excuse Norman's violence, but he has always been the little boy who held his mother's hand as she was being raped by his father. That is insane to me.

The doctor stating Norman's Norma was charming was interesting was interesting. Because just based on what I've seen of her, that it not true at all. I wonder why he said that. Does he believe it? It sure sounded like it. Or is he just telling Norman what he wants to hear? TBD...

SO glad Dylan found the stuffed rabbit and the letter. I do NOT want Norman to get away with killing Emma's mom. That isn't fair.

I love this episode. *****.




The Blacklist "Cape May"

You know I really loved the episode until the last five minutes, when we found out everything was a delusion. It was crazygood. It was riveting in a way last week's episode was not. Now I kind of feel like all of those cool intimate scenes between Red and the Mystery Woman such as him crawling under the blankets with her and nuzzling her, don't mean anything anymore. And those had been some of the most meaningful scenes for Red I had ever seen. I kind of resent the episode buying them back.

Red diving into the ocean for the woman was one of the bravest and noblest things the series has ever allowed us to witness him do. How dare they buy that back?

I like both the cabbie and the beachcomber. Both seemed to be a bit reproachful of the money Red was throwing at them, which hints to me they are decent people deep down. The cabbie in particular actually said "That's enough," when I think most people would have waited to see how far Red went. He actually seemed a bit concerned, which is the right reaction.

Liz actually being dead surprises me. I don't see how the show can recover. It's ALL about Red and Liz, and if Megan Boone decided to leave on her own, the series was screwed. If they decided to kill her off, that is even more inexplicable.

To be frank, I never liked Liz. But the reasons Red was on her side were the most interesting thing about the series, and now it doesn't matter. If Red is revealed to be her father, who cares? Because she'll never know. I feel really bad about the series' future. And I wish that the series had at least had the grace to give us the five star episode this was until the last five minutes. ***1/2.




Blindspot "One Begets Technique"

NBC has no idea how to promote this show. That was the most fun, hilarious episode ever and NBC was acting last week as if it was gonna be devastating and a gamechanger. It was a gamechanger, all right. It was the first episode I enjoyed watching 100%. NBC might have done better to bill it as such.

I am so happy they didn't kill off Rich Dotcom. He will be a great recurring baddie. Once he complains at the beginning how impersonal prison sex is, I REALLY was afraid that they'd kill him off. This show loves offing their rare awesome characters and I loved being wrong. That was SO funny. His art restoring boyfriend is similarly hilarious. His cutting remarks were so withering, Patterson actually tries to attack him. I love that.

I cannot say enough good things about this episode, and enough bad things about NBC's promotional department. *****.




Mickey Mouse "March Of The Zombies" By Floyd Gottfredson

This book is the first collection of Mickey stories I've read since I declared I was no longer a fan of Floyd Gottfredson. I'm still a Disney completist but I knew going in that there was every chance I would hate most of the stories in the book.

Was I right? Let me put it this way. This collection wasn't TOO bad, but it also wasn't great enough to get me back on the Gottfredson bandwagon. If Gottfredson and new scripter Bill Walsh had delivered story after story of the quality of "Blaggard Castle", "Island In The Sky", and "Mickey Mouse Outwits The Phantom Blot", I'd give his reputation a second look, but we are pretty much into the era of the strip where most everything is subpar. The only really cool story is "The 'Lectro Box" (although I did like the gag strips that comprised "Goofy's Car".). Slightly less successful is "The Nazi Submarine" but it is good enough to make me sad to realize that its subject matter means it can almost never be reprinted, and that's why this is the first time I've read it.

I think the worst story is "Mickey Mouse On A Secret Mission". It's not really offensive, but it's stupid, so I'm offended anyways (or at least my intelligence is). Plus, I'm still a little sickened by the fact that they made Peg-Leg Pete a Nazi. Over the line.

The book also contains the Daily strips engaging in Daily Gag strips for the first time. I will not be reviewing the individual gag strips, partly because they aren't titled, and partly because there are so many. But I will review each section of gag strips between the stories separately.

"Goofy And Agnes":

This is a cute story, but once again Gottfredson doesn't do his homework. Female lions are NOT more docile than male ones, and are in fact the hunters. It was fun seeing Mickey being so manipulative though. Especially as it turned out to be for Goofy's benefit. ***1/2.

"The Black Crow Mystery" and "Working To Win": Plus Short Story "Goofy's Car" and Gag Strips:

The Black Crow Mystery: Mickey's new girlfriend is a cat? Kinky. May I just point out Mickey is a racist? He starts to claim the Asian guy is there to start trouble and nothing comes of it. I suspect Gottfredson planned for him to be the culprit before going in another direction. I laughed at the idea that Goofy's design lankiness would actually result in being called deformities by the army. That was funny. ****.

Goofy's Car: Goofy is a dope. ****1/2,.

Gag Strips: Goofy's case for joining the army IS logical. If he's already a casualty, what do they have to lose? ***1/2.

Working To Win: A rare instance of Gottfredson putting women in a positive light. It's not perfect, but it's the best we've gotten. ***.

Gag Strips: Speaking of logic, I liked how Morty and Ferdie are able to rationalize fights by comparing them to spankings, and get Mickey to admit that there are a ton of other virtues better than being smart before handing him their lousy report cards. The best strips are the Morty and Ferdie ones, although the one where Goofy confuses Mickey advising him to oil his lawnmower with pouring oil on his grass is good too. And I am still amazed that little boys wore dresses back then. They still look all wrong, and Mickey looks like the creep of the year for refusing to buy his nephews pants. Those lipstick marks on Mickey's face hint that he and Minnie totally make out when we aren't looking. ***1/2.

"Mickey Mouse's Wild Holiday" and "The Nazi Submarine"

Mickey Mouse's Wild Holiday: Dumb, stupid, and frankly, racist. *.

The Nazi Submarine: Bill Walsh's first story! Hasn't been reprinted in years (for obvious reasons). I like how it ends on the gag of Mickey asking Police O'Hara to untie him and Minnie. Because that should have happened several strips ago, and I laughed that Walsh was self-aware enough to joke about it. Do you what was dumb? Chief O'Hara throwing a sack over Mickey's head to take him down to the police station. That makes about as much sense as Peter and Brian Griffin putting on a horse costume so Lois won't know they're going to the Clam. ****.

"Mickey Mouse On A Secret Mission"

Boy, this strip sure got dumb. I get it's WWII propaganda, but it would be nice if it were remotely plausible. It's great that Bill Walsh is into fantastic elements for the strip, but the guy seems to do even less research on a subject than Gottfredson did (and that is saying something). Maybe Carl Barks and his National Geographic obsession, and Don Rosa's painstaking detail to history have spoiled me. But the Mickey Mouse strip takes the easy way out every time. The writers aren't so much aware of politics as much as only having the cursory understanding of the topic their audiences of kids do. Sure, it is true that the Nazi hired actors to make things look better than they were. But it's the specific things this uses (like fancy dinners) that are an asinine thing to believe the Nazis faked. It's lazy. And stupid. And if Mickey's a racist, how exactly is he morally superior to the Nazis? Speaking of which, making Pete a Nazi is pretty much the worst thing they ever did to him. I cannot ever see him in the same way on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse again, knowing this strip was dumb enough to do that. This strip is so stupid, it attributes a level of incompetence to the Nazis that they never possessed. The Nazis were dangerous because they were deadly serious about their violence and terrorism. It might make the American reader feel better to think Germans are stupid and are going to be easily defeated, but tell that to the victims of the Holocaust. I kind of feel like all of the propaganda stuff back then that simply attributed a "normal" level of evil to the Nazis, are not taking them seriously. To be fair, the Concentration Camps only became widely known after the war. But there were always rumors, and I think if they were going to make Pete a Nazi spy, perhaps they should have thought a little deeper about what that actually meant. Was there anything I liked? One joke amused me in particular. The scientist throw Mickey into an experimental jet and assure him they've worked out the calculations, and then shows him a sheet of numbers and gibberish (which Gottfredson obviously wrote at random). And Mickey's all "If I hadn't seen that, I'd be worried." To be blunt, I think America comes across as a bit desperate and stupid in this story, which just shows it's lousy propaganda. The scientists send the test pilots on the secret missions, never to return, and instead of trying to figure out what went wrong, simply send more and more until one of them gets it right. If Walsh and Gottfredson don't hate science, they sure as heck don't understand how it works or the methodology of weapons. Even back in WWII, people were more careful than that. If this strip took place in World War I, I could excuse the generals and scientists being cold-hearted b*st*rds who don't care about the spies or their troops. But it simply wasn't true in WWII, and even in WWI, that was mostly the European countries that showed so little regard for the casualties on their own side. Americans had always been wary of the meat-grinder up to that point, and the strip acting like it is bloodthirsty about the troops, is just bad propaganda. If they are trying to make the U.S. look good, they failed. It looks terrible. This story pretty much sucks on every level. 1/2.

"The 'Lectro Box" and "Pluto The Spy Catcher" Plus Gag Strips:

The 'Lectro Box: Very cool and fun story. The science is nonsense, but they put in a LITTLE effort here. I'd never read this full story before and now I'm glad I have. ****1/2.

Pluto The Spy Catcher: Sort of boring. **.

Gag Strips: Morty uses the words "Jap". Automatic zero. 0.

"The War Orphans"

I am a little amazed at how little this offends me. It should, but none of the foreign kids are sinister, so I can't get too mad. Gottfredson has done MUCH worse stuff in the past. ***1/2.

U.K. Gag-A-Day Strips:

Very clever way to reuse old art when there was a strip shortage. **1/2.

"The Professor's Experiment"

This is kind of dumb but it's also kind of cute. It the kind of scientific fantasy that is present in some of the softer Carl Barks Donald Duck stories. Like "Land Beneath The Ground" this isn't great, but eminently readable. ***1/2.

Win Smith Non-Mickey Strip: Bizarre to see cartoon characters talking about the Mickey Mouse strip without Mickey actually in it.

Australia Woman's Weekly Strip: Cute. ***.