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Matt Zimmer ([personal profile] matt_zimmer) wrote2021-04-13 12:35 am

"Godzilla Vs. Kong" Review (Spoilers)

Also reviews for the series premiere of The Nevers, and the latest episodes of Batwoman, Black Lightning, Bless The Harts, The Simpsons, The Great North, Bob's Burgers, and Family Guy.



Godzilla Vs Kong

An outright classic! My favorite monster movie ever! It basically did everything right. What's not to love?

The big question is how they can pit these two iconic monsters against each other, and not have the fan of the loser go into conniptions and say that their fave was robbed. The movie was very cunning, and I speak as someone totally on Team Kong. Godzilla defeated Kong in 2 of their 3 fights. But Kong saved Godzilla's life at the end, and was the one to destroy Mecha-Godzilla. Brilliant compromise that I'm satisfied with.

I wish we had gotten a news report at the end sort of clearing Godzilla or any real guilt of the attack at the beginning of the film. But that's the only thing I would have changed.

I'll tell you why I'm Team Kong. It's because the movie opens up on a morning montage routine of him set to the song "The Air That I Breathe". I love his friendship with the little girl, and the revelation that he's learned sign language, and that humans are able to communicate with him. And I noted in my Kong: Skull Island review that his ability to use tools could give him an edge to beating Godzilla. It didn't quite help THAT much, but it's surely how he ripped apart Mecha-Godzilla.

This is my favorite version of King Kong. I like that the human characters treat him as the sympathetic hero he is, instead of the menace the humans in the earlier King Kong movies mistakenly said he was. I especially like that for once, the movie ends on a happy ending for Kong! How great it that? A long time coming, and fully earned and deserved.

I should also point out that it's easier being Team Kong because we witness Kong in quiet moments while the filmmakers deliberately keep Godzilla and his motivations a mystery. We still haven't seen any downtime for Godzilla, which is why I am rooting for Kong. Plus Kong interacts with people and doesn't treat them like bugs (unless they deserve it). And his facial expressions are pretty great.

I have SOME bad news to report. I think I enjoyed the movie a LITTLE too much. I know myself pretty well and I suspect if I had seen this in the theater my opinion would be far colder. It would have drained me. Watching it on TV meant I could take bathroom breaks and get a snack from the kitchen when I needed one. A lot of people like Christopher Nolan have given Warner Bros guff for essentially killing the theater experience for a year. I will go one further. It's possibly ruined the theater for me forever. There is a very large chance Nolan was right. I love Avengers: Endgame. I cannot imagine how much more I would have raved about it seeing it on Blu-Ray or streaming first. I have now resolved to catch up on my Marvel movies on Blu-Ray for this reason. I just realized I don't really ever want to go through the hassle of being in a theater to see something I want again. Either I'll pay a 30 dollar fee to stream it the same time in theaters or (more likely) I'll wait for the Blu-Ray. Even if the pandemic ends soon, I realized after seeing this my days of going to the theater might be numbered. What it all boils down to is figuring out if there is a relatively easy way to avoid spoilers for movies I want to see until the Blu-Ray comes out. If there is, that's probably where I'm going to see most of my movies first.

But boy, that was pretty awesome. I was amped after seeing that at home in my underwear at night rather than drained spending a day at the theater. This is how I want to see my movies from now on. *****.




The Nevers "Pilot"

I assumed when I watched this that this will ultimately be the last thing Joss Whedon is ever allowed to write or direct. He might have another episode writing credit or two coming up for this season, but I figured going in that is basically the end of his entire career. It didn't have to be that way. Had he addressed the allegations against him like an adult, there would have been every possibility for him to make a comeback five or ten years down the line. Hollywood loves giving second chances. But by refusing to talk about what he did at all, with no apologies for the women and actors of color he hurt, he basically shut the door completely on any chance of him ever being forgiven. I think Louis C.K. is a far bigger dirtbag than Joss Whedon could ever be. But I imagine he'll probably get work again (at least behind the camera) in a few years simply because his apology and acknowledgement of his guilt was unconditional. And this is coming from someone who finds his actions unforgivable. But he probably will be in a few years. Whedon? No chance. The utter lack of contrition or humility from self-proclaimed feminist icon Joss Whedon means he has no path back. There is no future apology tour possible for someone unwilling to apologize at ALL.

So I assumed going in this is the capper of Whedon's entire career. How is it?

As an end point it's unsatisfying, although I could say that about any era of his work. I imagine the entire show will probably be reworked going forward, so there is no possible benefit for me to offer theories or guesses about what happens next based on what I just saw. Obviously, whoever is going to be put in charge next will have a different vision than Whedon. As such, it seems fruitless to guess what it might be after the one and only purely Whedon episode of the series.

It's interesting stuff at various points, but to be brutally honest there were definite points I unreservedly hated. Now this was also true for Buffy, Angel, and Firefly, but I was not allowed to voice those negative thoughts at the time for fear of backlash from his rabid fans. But I feel the feminist bent of the premise is distinctly hurt by the "It's not TV, it's HBO" soft-core expectation of the network. Maybe that's not entirely Whedon's fault. But when this Pilot was made he had legitimate Hollywood clout. He could have nixed some of the exploitative nudity if he wanted to.

I also found the end very confusing, and I am sort of stumped as to the linear nature of the story, and when everything is supposed to have taken place. We will undoubtedly get clarification next week, but unless you are David Lynch, you do not want the general impression of the viewer to be pure confusion after the Pilot. And no, Joss Whedon is not and never will be David Lynch. I'm annoyed instead of impressed by that ending.

Last Whedon thing ever and Mutant Enemy finally gets a new production card at the end. Figures.

I'm disappointed this is how Whedon has to go out. But ultimately, I'm willing to see where the new showrunner might take things. That wasn't perfect, but it WAS interesting, and I will be back next week, even if Whedon is not. But the last thing Whedon will probably ever be allowed to write and direct is quite disappointing compared to everything else. ***.




Batwoman "Time Off For Good Behavior"

That was all right. Which concerns me. Generally speaking I am not okay with just "all right". But the Arrowverse has had SUCH shoddy quality-control lately, that it's gotten so I'll tolerate all right. And I shouldn't and normally wouldn't. Any other franchise an episode this bland would get an outright bad review. But this didn't offend me (at least not much) so I'm calling it a win instead. And I don't like that fact.

I feel like Ryan promising to always be able to protect Angelique was a dumb promise that she'd have no way of keeping. So of course I saw the ending coming a mile away. Which made the promise even dumber.

The show taking a shot at for-profit prisons is a good bad guy to recognize and for Batwoman to fight. I like that this version of Batwoman seems to fight against corrupt people in authority.

The guy who gave Jacob the dose of snakebite at the end was obviously Black Mask. I don't remember if the show has already revealed they are the same dude yet or not.

Jacob continues to be the worst father ever to Mary. Dude sucks. The end.

All right. But I shouldn't be all right with all right. It disturbs me that I somehow am. ***.

Black Lightning "Painkiller"

That was acceptable. Which is good. Because I doubt CW will pick up the show. Which is why being acceptable matters. The Green Arrow And The Canaries backdoor Pilot on Arrow set up an annoying cliffhanger that has yet to be resolved, but I can live with the twist here that Odell is alive and her daughter is going to wind up Painkiller's Big Bad. If we see more, that would be fine. If not, I'm cool with how things ended here.

First episode since the first season not to be a multiparter with "The Book Of" in the episode title.

The episode had a lot of characters doing exposition. I don't know what the answer is. This is all information the audience needed. But it's also information the characters already know, so the fact that they are conveniently reiterating it for our benefit feels contrived, and the dialogue unrealistic. That's not how real people talk. But I can't think of a better solution off of the top of my head, or at least not one that wouldn't unnecessarily pad the episode about 10-20 extra minutes.

Only episode of the series Cress Williams does not appear.

I kind of feel like maybe Anissa should have told Kahlil about Jen's "regeneration", but perhaps that would have raised too many questions he'd have no way of being satisfied about. Probably for the best. I wonder however if Jordan Calloway will even have any chemistry with Jennifer's new actress. I wonder if they bothered doing a screen-test for them before she was cast.

I like that if the series continues we'll actually be getting a relatively sympathetic portrayal of the Painkiller persona. Kahlil's mission is no longer to get rid of Painkiller, but to learn how to live with him and find a measure of peace with himself. I actually really like that notion.

Pretty good backdoor Pilot. Pretty sure the CW is going to pass but if they greenlight it I'll watch it. If they DO pass, at least I won't wind up frustrated, annoyed, and unsatisfied. What were the creators of Green Arrow And The Cananies THINKING setting up a cliffhanger in the backdoor Pilot? Sheesh. ****.




Bless The Harts "Hot Tub-tation"

What a sweet ending to Betty's story. What a nice episode. The good thing is the rest of the episode wasn't off-putting which is unusual for this show.

Jenny peeing in the tub was low-rent but pretty funny.

I really liked it. ****.




The Simpsons "Burger Kings"

There were parts I enjoyed (including an amazing and creative Couch Gag) but ultimately I didn't like it. It's The Simpsons doing what it always does when it's run out of ideas: Creating a problem that doesn't exist.

They got their idea from the Impossible Burger. But tying Mr. Burns to it meant they had to make the subtext to it sinister. So the ingredients were plants from the rainforest. That's just stupid. Lazy hackneyed writing. And for the record, the Impossible Burger actually works because it's ISN'T entirely vegetables. The creators of the burger add some very fattening and well seasoned ingredients to simulate the feel and taste of meat. As such, they aren't actually healthy for you. They are designed for vegetarians, not people trying to lose weight.

What especially bothers me is the show is trying to show the problem by Krusty supposedly being driven out of business. As if that's a bad thing and as if Bart thinking Krusty is a hero is anything but wrong-headed. Like Moe and Reverend Lovejoy, Krusty is one of the characters on the show with no redeeming virtues. And to be blunt, I could pick out virtues for Moe before I ever could Krusty. It's ludicrous Krusty's failure is being used as an excuse to take down Burns' burgers. We're supposed to be happy at the end he can serve donkey burgers again? Nope, nope, nope.

The Simpsons has been on for so long that they explore problems that only exist in the writers' deluded heads, and that real-world viewers have no context or even relatability towards. And I think it's about time somebody called the show on it. If the producers were actually invested in making quality television they would have looked at the first draft of this script, realized it didn't work with their specific characters and scenario, and simply written a different episode. I'm tired of the fact that the show is so often willing to settle for nonsense. And I suspect fans let Al Jean get away with it because the show has improved immeasurably from earlier in his tenure. That may be true, but if the show whiffs it, I'm still gonna call it on it. **1/2.




The Great North "Keep Beef-lievin' Adventure"

Bigfoot's nipples are weird.

What a weird sentence to start off my review.

I liked it as it started, but it started to wear a little thin by the end. But the mean girl Debbie was pretty funny. ***1/2.




Bob's Burgers "Fingers-loose"

That was a very nice ending.

Mr. Frond absolutely sucks. I already knew that, but there was literally nothing bad about the finger dancing and he banned it. He just sucks on every level. Millie usually does too, but I loved the girl for showing him what a finger actually was.

The revelation that it was Gene who told was an excellent twist and a great way to get Tina off the hook. That was great.

Linda's thing with the armpit hairnet holding the burgers and fries is why when all is said and done, I don't like Linda very much. She's super gross. To be fair, Bob's idea was bad too, but mostly because it was totally lame. Linda is just nasty. Anyone who thinks armpits are the cleanest part of the body is by definition.

I enjoyed most of that, but Frond and Linda turned me off of a lot of it. ****.




Family Guy "Who's Brian Now?"

Both the problem and solution were kind of predictable, which is okay in my book. I never penalize a story for being told the way it should be told.

Chris not clicking with Stewie's Cool Hwhip bit was great. I think Stewie is very lucky Brian is as tolerant of him as he is.

The Robert Loggia stuff was funny but I wish they had gotten him to voice himself.

Patrick Swayze jury! Hee!

I like Stewie being unimpressed with his family after they bragged about the bloody things they can now throw in the open trash.

I laughed at Chris asking Stewie if that record store had a men's department.

The manatee jokes were kind of weak this week. Chris's Swedish family wasn't funny and neither was his Kubrick audition.

I liked Brian starting to give Meg the business for the nonsensical thing she said and she is just beyond caring. I really like Meg now.

I didn't know what Ted Mr. Henderson was referring to either.

Brian thinks Jaws was written by Spielberg. Brian is better off with the Griffins.

Alex Jones cut. Here's something interesting. That is a tough thing to parody. Because his actual show is exactly that crazy. The joke is more or less simply quoting him verbatim.

Peter's ratty hair was gross. But I liked him remembering he was a cartoon and drawing himself into a spaceship to escape.

I liked it. No real complaints, which is kind of rare for a Brian episode.

I'm going to do something else rare: I'm declaring the winner of Fox Sunday to be a tie between Bob's Burgers and Family Guy. Both had equally solid episodes with an equal amount of good things and even an equal amount of flaws. ****.