Matt Zimmer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
matt_zimmer) wrote2021-01-18 11:35 pm
matt_zimmer) wrote2021-01-18 11:35 pm
Entry tags:
"The Cabin In The Woods" Review (Spoilers)
Also reviews for the season premiere of Batwoman, and the latest episodes of The Great North, and Family Guy.
The Cabin In The Woods
As a rule, I don't like horror films, but it was cowritten by Joss Whedon, a good writer, so I was curious what he'd do with it. I was also intrigued by the high-concept premise.
I disliked much of it as it was going, it went some interesting places near the end, and the downer ending of the world being destroyed somehow felt weirdly just. The true monsters in the movie are the people in the control room. Because no matter how many benedictions they say upon each sacrifice being given, they clearly enjoy this.
The high-concept premise meant I took note of the script more than I did when I watched the Scream movies. Searching for plot holes and inconsistencies. You'll probably scoff at me for doing that for a horror film. Let me give you two decent reasons for me doing that. First, it's Joss Whedon, so I think having higher standards for him is not a bad thing. If taken entirely by itself, Age Of Ultron is actually passable. It's taken in context with the MCU and the rest of his career which is why it's unforgivable instead. The second reason is the only reason I really need: I totally suck and am the turd in any given punchbowl. But I expected the logic of the script and the mythology of the premise to be a lot tighter than it was.
Here are my questions. Forgive me if I've missed some. After I ask them I want to clarify something about me not knowing the answers. Here they are.
It's hinted this ritual is ancient. How could the Old Ones' bloodlust possibly be sated before the advent of cameras? And if it was, why do they need cameras now? Why do they demand topless shots of one of the girls who dies? Who upstairs messed with the cave-in? Who else watches this stuff? How does this go on behind society's backs with nobody ever noticing or blowing the whistle? In fact, all of the Japanese girls survived. Were they expected to never tell anyone what happened? Where were the monsters created, and how could they possibly be hidden from the world? And after all of the suffering the characters went through, including the bloodbath in the control room, how could the Old Ones not possibly be satisfied this year? Do they actually need to witness it on camera to matter? How did they witness it before cameras were invented? If they DO need to witness it, why is the Director insisting Anna shoot Marty where there are no cameras present? None of this holds up to scrutiny.
Anyone who reads my reviews knows I love unanswered questions and mysteries, so I should be pleased, right? The problem is that I don't think there COULD be plausible answers to these questions, which doesn't make it an unsolved mystery, but a script riddled with plotholes that the producers hope we are willing to ignore. I'm not saying everything David Lynch has ever written and directed is plausible. But I could usually offer my own take about what it was I was missing. This is just a mess.
But it was less horrible to watch than most horror movies (even if the world was destroyed at the end). Because it suggested something true: If this is the kind of entertainment society has to offer up for degenerates to enjoy, maybe the problem is actually society and it should be scrubbed and started over. Granted, society in the film is actually being destroyed and replaced by the degenerates it tried to pander to, which somehow makes the film accidentally timely and relevant too.
The bit with the Harbinger and the speaker phone was pretty good. I'll admit that.
Horror movies are not my scene, and this didn't change my mind. Are there any horror movies I like? I liked the first two Scream movies and Get Out. But while this wasn't as sickening as Saw or the torture porn stuff, it also wasn't very fun., It's a genre I have a hard time understanding why people enjoy. ***.
Batwoman "What Happened To Kate Kane?"
I have been a very vocal opponent of creating a new Batwoman for the show. I believe Ruby Rose, who left after a turbulent first season, should have been recast as Kate Kane. It would have been one thing if Rose had agreed to film a last episode and was able to be written out properly. The last season not only ended on a cliffhanger, but her arc was entirely unfinished because the final episodes of the season were aborted due to the Covid 19 Pandemic. I was not opposed to a new Batwoman out of a sense of loyalty to Rose (she's an underwhelming actress to be sure) or because I believe a woman of color does not belong behind that mask. It's the part of me that believes a story should be (and needs to be) told the way it was originally intended, and shouldn't live or die based on fickle actors. I'm the guy who believe Marvel Studios should wait a few years out of respect for Chadwick Boseman, and once we get a little distance, recast T'Challa. I am more invested in a TV or movie story than I am a given TV or movie actor. If the actor doesn't work out, (or God forbid, like Boseman DIES) I don't believe the story the writers are telling should die with that person's exit, no matter the reason.
All caught up on where I stand? Good. As far as introducing a new character goes, and replacing Kate without the dignity of a goodbye episode, they did all the right things. Here is an opinion you won't hear much: The first season of Batwoman was solid. It had its ups and downs, but most of it, particularly the first half, was better than the internet critics would lead you to believe. Yes, Rose had no charisma and was a poor choice for Kate Kane. But she wasn't so bad that she ruined the show. Her blandness was in no way a dealbreaker for me, and the series usually worked otherwise. So speaking as a rare someone who dug last year, I think you might appreciate the idea that I think Season 2 had a solid start too.
They made a few interesting choices right off the bat, that I am very glad they made, and will make this complete turnaround and flip of Alice's arc tolerable. I won't like it, but I might learn to live with it.
The first good choice is Ryan's very interesting speech to Mary and Luke about who she is when they claim she has no right to wear the suit. She's a number. She's a statistic. For a skeptical audience wondering exactly how or why we should accept a homeless woman of color in the Batsuit, she just told us: She deserves it because she doesn't. Because fighting for justice shouldn't simply be an aristocracy like Batman and Green Arrow made it, or a meritocracy and only people with powers like Supergirl and the Flash made it. If you have the skills, the Batsuit should work for you. The notion of a Batman "legacy" is patently false and ridiculous. I like that argument because I only MOSTLY agree with it. I would never accept Max Gibson from Batman Beyond putting on the Robin suit. But I like the argument because it's true from Ryan's perspective, and even if I don't entirely agree with it, I like it because I am positive most fanboys vehemently disagree with it, and the thought of their anger over it makes me quite happy. I'm on her side because she just cheesed off a lot of Batman fans. And I think Batman fans are the kinds of people who could stand to be cheesed off a bit, at least for reasons like that.
What I especially like is that once she does a little digging, she stops dismissing Kate as a rich do-gooder. I like that Ryan believe it's the CIVILIAN Kate who is the hero and worthy of her admiration. Very smart choice there by the writers. I heartily approve, and even agree.
The second interesting choice they made was having Alice reveal to Jacob Kate was Batwoman. To be blunt, I had had just about enough of Jacob Kane by the end of last season, especially when he tried to kill Batwoman for no reason whatsoever. I very much enjoyed the look of horror on his face as Alice correctly tells him that Kate must of have died knowing he hated her and everything about her, and that he tried to kill her. I don't think Jacob is the kind of father who will actually accept the proper blame for this, and is liable to lash out to Mary and Kate's friends instead. But I want him to feel that guilt because he deserves to feel it. The fact that I know that Kate is almost certainly not dead doesn't lessen my desire to see that guy suffer about this one bit.
With Kate gone, they wrapped up the "Hush as Bruce Wayne" thing pretty quickly. I am very certain Jacob knowing Kate's secret would also have been strung along for a few seasons, but with her gone the writers decided to play up the pathos while they could. Similarly, I suspect Hush as Bruce was originally supposed to last a few episodes, but it wrapped up in one because Ryan wouldn't give a poo. I'm fine with that.
The Batmobile sucks, by the way. It sort of takes after Batman 66 in being a flashy black sports car rather than a Bat themed and shaped vehicle, but it totally underwhelms me. Batman 66's Batmobile has a normalish shape because Batman 66 had zero budget. That's why they had a Batphone rather than a Batsignal. There's no excuse for this show to cheap out on something we had been dying for. And say what you will about Adam West's car, whether it looked like the Batmobile or not, it still looked really cool and memorable. This is something you could see in an Audi commercial.
If Jacob learns the secret, it makes sense Sophie does too. I am cool with that plot point reaching completion as well.
I am not sold on the new season yet, and I don't like the idea of Kate being written out of the show. It seemed like an overly inconvenient favor to Rose, who neither delivered a memorable performance, or reportedly treated the producers and other actors on the set very well. But that was about as good as I could have hoped for, considering it could have completely destroyed the show. It hasn't yet. That was a decent premiere. ****.
The Great North "Feast Of Not People Adventure"
And another episode of network / producer contractual obligations is filled! This was no bigger deal than that.
The whole Imaginary Alanis Morrissette is exactly the same as Imaginary Jesus on Bless The Harts. Neither show is better for it.
Why does Ham own a swimsuit at all? He lives in Alaska. Does his town have a Y?
Meh, I say, meh. ***.
Family Guy "Fecal Matters"
I love that Meg is Quicksilver. That scene amazed me right off the bat.
The take-down of the Giant Chicken versus Sideshow Bob is classic, especially pointing out a nobody like writer Danny Smith voices him. The irony is the Giant Chicken didn't even speak in his first few appearances, and by the time he got big, the show could have afforded to create buzz and give him a memorable actor. And they didn't, which is a failing on every level. What I especially love about this episode's mea culpa about that is that it's directed at the fans too. People who believe Family Guy's second season was its best are correctly labeled "online idiots". Man, that season was steaming pile of television. It utterly sucked, was one of the worst animated seasons of any show ever, and was somehow beloved by this show's questionable fans. The only animated TV season from that era worse than it was Family Guy: Season One. I find it quite appalling on every level. The show giving the people who brought it back from the dead shade for loving it when it was terrible makes me very happy.
Brian as a cat was annoying but I very much like the way Quagmire proved he wasn't one. The best part is that he leans in real close to his broken body and says "Not a cat." Classic.
Lois and Brian on the couch was great too.
I also liked the scene where Quagmire is describing his medical problem to Peter and Peter's texting it to his friends. The look on Quagmire's face when he got it was priceless.
How does Lois not know about the Giant Chicken? I thought it was established in a previous episode they were secret friends. Loose show continuity is loose.
His name is Ernie? Will be easier to remember than Jeff Albertson.
Peter describing living in fear of the Chicken was an interesting moment because I never thought of it that way. But them him describing it as "exciting", and as if it's a good thing makes me realize why I cannot ever relate to that character at all. His "Good" in the tag was outright weird, but I love that THAT was the specific idea about their relationship the series paid off.
Ernie's an antivaxxer? Peter knew there was a reason he hated him. One of the few things I love about Peter is that the show gets the idea of the fact that even though he's stupid, white, male, and more than a little racist, he's pretty liberal, which describes about half of the white male Democrats in New England. Massholes and Rhode Islanders' white people aren't more elite or smarter than the rest of the country. They just have a different voting pattern. And the truth is a TON of them are still Republicans anyways. I'm not saying there aren't conservative Massholes who fit that profile. There still are. But there are also actually a ton of guys like Peter who are dumb and racist and vote the way they do. I live in Massachusetts. I am very much aware that the notion that all stupid people and racists are Republicans is actually untrue, at least in my neck of the woods.
That was all right. Probably not good enough for the Superbowl spot, but neither was The Great North. This edged out that to win the night. ***1/2.
The Cabin In The Woods
As a rule, I don't like horror films, but it was cowritten by Joss Whedon, a good writer, so I was curious what he'd do with it. I was also intrigued by the high-concept premise.
I disliked much of it as it was going, it went some interesting places near the end, and the downer ending of the world being destroyed somehow felt weirdly just. The true monsters in the movie are the people in the control room. Because no matter how many benedictions they say upon each sacrifice being given, they clearly enjoy this.
The high-concept premise meant I took note of the script more than I did when I watched the Scream movies. Searching for plot holes and inconsistencies. You'll probably scoff at me for doing that for a horror film. Let me give you two decent reasons for me doing that. First, it's Joss Whedon, so I think having higher standards for him is not a bad thing. If taken entirely by itself, Age Of Ultron is actually passable. It's taken in context with the MCU and the rest of his career which is why it's unforgivable instead. The second reason is the only reason I really need: I totally suck and am the turd in any given punchbowl. But I expected the logic of the script and the mythology of the premise to be a lot tighter than it was.
Here are my questions. Forgive me if I've missed some. After I ask them I want to clarify something about me not knowing the answers. Here they are.
It's hinted this ritual is ancient. How could the Old Ones' bloodlust possibly be sated before the advent of cameras? And if it was, why do they need cameras now? Why do they demand topless shots of one of the girls who dies? Who upstairs messed with the cave-in? Who else watches this stuff? How does this go on behind society's backs with nobody ever noticing or blowing the whistle? In fact, all of the Japanese girls survived. Were they expected to never tell anyone what happened? Where were the monsters created, and how could they possibly be hidden from the world? And after all of the suffering the characters went through, including the bloodbath in the control room, how could the Old Ones not possibly be satisfied this year? Do they actually need to witness it on camera to matter? How did they witness it before cameras were invented? If they DO need to witness it, why is the Director insisting Anna shoot Marty where there are no cameras present? None of this holds up to scrutiny.
Anyone who reads my reviews knows I love unanswered questions and mysteries, so I should be pleased, right? The problem is that I don't think there COULD be plausible answers to these questions, which doesn't make it an unsolved mystery, but a script riddled with plotholes that the producers hope we are willing to ignore. I'm not saying everything David Lynch has ever written and directed is plausible. But I could usually offer my own take about what it was I was missing. This is just a mess.
But it was less horrible to watch than most horror movies (even if the world was destroyed at the end). Because it suggested something true: If this is the kind of entertainment society has to offer up for degenerates to enjoy, maybe the problem is actually society and it should be scrubbed and started over. Granted, society in the film is actually being destroyed and replaced by the degenerates it tried to pander to, which somehow makes the film accidentally timely and relevant too.
The bit with the Harbinger and the speaker phone was pretty good. I'll admit that.
Horror movies are not my scene, and this didn't change my mind. Are there any horror movies I like? I liked the first two Scream movies and Get Out. But while this wasn't as sickening as Saw or the torture porn stuff, it also wasn't very fun., It's a genre I have a hard time understanding why people enjoy. ***.
Batwoman "What Happened To Kate Kane?"
I have been a very vocal opponent of creating a new Batwoman for the show. I believe Ruby Rose, who left after a turbulent first season, should have been recast as Kate Kane. It would have been one thing if Rose had agreed to film a last episode and was able to be written out properly. The last season not only ended on a cliffhanger, but her arc was entirely unfinished because the final episodes of the season were aborted due to the Covid 19 Pandemic. I was not opposed to a new Batwoman out of a sense of loyalty to Rose (she's an underwhelming actress to be sure) or because I believe a woman of color does not belong behind that mask. It's the part of me that believes a story should be (and needs to be) told the way it was originally intended, and shouldn't live or die based on fickle actors. I'm the guy who believe Marvel Studios should wait a few years out of respect for Chadwick Boseman, and once we get a little distance, recast T'Challa. I am more invested in a TV or movie story than I am a given TV or movie actor. If the actor doesn't work out, (or God forbid, like Boseman DIES) I don't believe the story the writers are telling should die with that person's exit, no matter the reason.
All caught up on where I stand? Good. As far as introducing a new character goes, and replacing Kate without the dignity of a goodbye episode, they did all the right things. Here is an opinion you won't hear much: The first season of Batwoman was solid. It had its ups and downs, but most of it, particularly the first half, was better than the internet critics would lead you to believe. Yes, Rose had no charisma and was a poor choice for Kate Kane. But she wasn't so bad that she ruined the show. Her blandness was in no way a dealbreaker for me, and the series usually worked otherwise. So speaking as a rare someone who dug last year, I think you might appreciate the idea that I think Season 2 had a solid start too.
They made a few interesting choices right off the bat, that I am very glad they made, and will make this complete turnaround and flip of Alice's arc tolerable. I won't like it, but I might learn to live with it.
The first good choice is Ryan's very interesting speech to Mary and Luke about who she is when they claim she has no right to wear the suit. She's a number. She's a statistic. For a skeptical audience wondering exactly how or why we should accept a homeless woman of color in the Batsuit, she just told us: She deserves it because she doesn't. Because fighting for justice shouldn't simply be an aristocracy like Batman and Green Arrow made it, or a meritocracy and only people with powers like Supergirl and the Flash made it. If you have the skills, the Batsuit should work for you. The notion of a Batman "legacy" is patently false and ridiculous. I like that argument because I only MOSTLY agree with it. I would never accept Max Gibson from Batman Beyond putting on the Robin suit. But I like the argument because it's true from Ryan's perspective, and even if I don't entirely agree with it, I like it because I am positive most fanboys vehemently disagree with it, and the thought of their anger over it makes me quite happy. I'm on her side because she just cheesed off a lot of Batman fans. And I think Batman fans are the kinds of people who could stand to be cheesed off a bit, at least for reasons like that.
What I especially like is that once she does a little digging, she stops dismissing Kate as a rich do-gooder. I like that Ryan believe it's the CIVILIAN Kate who is the hero and worthy of her admiration. Very smart choice there by the writers. I heartily approve, and even agree.
The second interesting choice they made was having Alice reveal to Jacob Kate was Batwoman. To be blunt, I had had just about enough of Jacob Kane by the end of last season, especially when he tried to kill Batwoman for no reason whatsoever. I very much enjoyed the look of horror on his face as Alice correctly tells him that Kate must of have died knowing he hated her and everything about her, and that he tried to kill her. I don't think Jacob is the kind of father who will actually accept the proper blame for this, and is liable to lash out to Mary and Kate's friends instead. But I want him to feel that guilt because he deserves to feel it. The fact that I know that Kate is almost certainly not dead doesn't lessen my desire to see that guy suffer about this one bit.
With Kate gone, they wrapped up the "Hush as Bruce Wayne" thing pretty quickly. I am very certain Jacob knowing Kate's secret would also have been strung along for a few seasons, but with her gone the writers decided to play up the pathos while they could. Similarly, I suspect Hush as Bruce was originally supposed to last a few episodes, but it wrapped up in one because Ryan wouldn't give a poo. I'm fine with that.
The Batmobile sucks, by the way. It sort of takes after Batman 66 in being a flashy black sports car rather than a Bat themed and shaped vehicle, but it totally underwhelms me. Batman 66's Batmobile has a normalish shape because Batman 66 had zero budget. That's why they had a Batphone rather than a Batsignal. There's no excuse for this show to cheap out on something we had been dying for. And say what you will about Adam West's car, whether it looked like the Batmobile or not, it still looked really cool and memorable. This is something you could see in an Audi commercial.
If Jacob learns the secret, it makes sense Sophie does too. I am cool with that plot point reaching completion as well.
I am not sold on the new season yet, and I don't like the idea of Kate being written out of the show. It seemed like an overly inconvenient favor to Rose, who neither delivered a memorable performance, or reportedly treated the producers and other actors on the set very well. But that was about as good as I could have hoped for, considering it could have completely destroyed the show. It hasn't yet. That was a decent premiere. ****.
The Great North "Feast Of Not People Adventure"
And another episode of network / producer contractual obligations is filled! This was no bigger deal than that.
The whole Imaginary Alanis Morrissette is exactly the same as Imaginary Jesus on Bless The Harts. Neither show is better for it.
Why does Ham own a swimsuit at all? He lives in Alaska. Does his town have a Y?
Meh, I say, meh. ***.
Family Guy "Fecal Matters"
I love that Meg is Quicksilver. That scene amazed me right off the bat.
The take-down of the Giant Chicken versus Sideshow Bob is classic, especially pointing out a nobody like writer Danny Smith voices him. The irony is the Giant Chicken didn't even speak in his first few appearances, and by the time he got big, the show could have afforded to create buzz and give him a memorable actor. And they didn't, which is a failing on every level. What I especially love about this episode's mea culpa about that is that it's directed at the fans too. People who believe Family Guy's second season was its best are correctly labeled "online idiots". Man, that season was steaming pile of television. It utterly sucked, was one of the worst animated seasons of any show ever, and was somehow beloved by this show's questionable fans. The only animated TV season from that era worse than it was Family Guy: Season One. I find it quite appalling on every level. The show giving the people who brought it back from the dead shade for loving it when it was terrible makes me very happy.
Brian as a cat was annoying but I very much like the way Quagmire proved he wasn't one. The best part is that he leans in real close to his broken body and says "Not a cat." Classic.
Lois and Brian on the couch was great too.
I also liked the scene where Quagmire is describing his medical problem to Peter and Peter's texting it to his friends. The look on Quagmire's face when he got it was priceless.
How does Lois not know about the Giant Chicken? I thought it was established in a previous episode they were secret friends. Loose show continuity is loose.
His name is Ernie? Will be easier to remember than Jeff Albertson.
Peter describing living in fear of the Chicken was an interesting moment because I never thought of it that way. But them him describing it as "exciting", and as if it's a good thing makes me realize why I cannot ever relate to that character at all. His "Good" in the tag was outright weird, but I love that THAT was the specific idea about their relationship the series paid off.
Ernie's an antivaxxer? Peter knew there was a reason he hated him. One of the few things I love about Peter is that the show gets the idea of the fact that even though he's stupid, white, male, and more than a little racist, he's pretty liberal, which describes about half of the white male Democrats in New England. Massholes and Rhode Islanders' white people aren't more elite or smarter than the rest of the country. They just have a different voting pattern. And the truth is a TON of them are still Republicans anyways. I'm not saying there aren't conservative Massholes who fit that profile. There still are. But there are also actually a ton of guys like Peter who are dumb and racist and vote the way they do. I live in Massachusetts. I am very much aware that the notion that all stupid people and racists are Republicans is actually untrue, at least in my neck of the woods.
That was all right. Probably not good enough for the Superbowl spot, but neither was The Great North. This edged out that to win the night. ***1/2.