Matt Zimmer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
matt_zimmer) wrote2017-01-07 07:25 pm
matt_zimmer) wrote2017-01-07 07:25 pm
"Batman: Return Of The Caped Crusaders" Review (Spoilers)
Also reviews for the Doctor Who Christmas Special, the series premiere of Justice League Action, the latest episodes of DC Super Hero Girls, The Powerpuff Girls, and Ultimate Spider-Man Vs. The Sinister 6, two Marvel Pop! Shorts, the latest episodes of The Lion Guard and Girl Meets World, the season premiere of Sleepy Hollow, the latest episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and American Dad!, and the season finale of Scream Queens.
Upcoming reviews include Doctor Who: Series 9, The X-Files: Season 10, Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), Captain America: Civil War (Blu-Ray), Daredevil: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Deadpool, X-Men: Apocalypse (Blu-Ray), The Lion Guard: Return Of The Roar (DVD), Zootopia, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), The Good Dinosaur (Blu-Ray), Finding Dory (Blu-Ray), Once Upon A Time: Season 5, The BFG, Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Blu-Ray), Star Wars Rebels: Season 2, Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales, Lego Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures: Season One, Jim Henson's Turkey Hollow (DVD), Justice League Vs. Teen Titans, Batman: The Killing Joke, Teen Titans Go!: Get In Pig Out, Suicide Squad (Blu-Ray), The Flash: Season 2, Arrow: Season 4, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow: Season 1, Supergirl: Season 1, Constantine: The Complete Series, Gotham: Season 2, iZombie: Season 1, iZombie: Season 2, Lucifer: Season 1, Be Cool Scooby Doo!: Spooky Kooky Fun!, Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Prod.: Hare-Raising Tales, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Star Trek Beyond (Blu-Ray), Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Beyond The Known Universe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Earth's Last Stand, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Half-Shell Heroes: Blast To The Past, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Powr Rangers: Megaforce: The Complete Season, Power Rangers: Super Megaforce: The Complete Season, Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Season 1, Heroes Reborn: The Complete Series, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, The Legend Of Korra: The Complete Series, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Haven: The Final Season, Under The Dome: Season 3, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Sleepy Hollow: Season 3, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 3, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Shaun The Sheep: The Farmer's Llamas, 12 Monkeys: Season 1, 12 Monkeys: Season 2, Grimm: Season 4, Grimm: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 6, The Peanuts Movie, Peanuts By Schulz: Snoopy Tales, Bob's Burgers: Season 5, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay: Part 2, Ghostbusters: Answer: The Call, Community: Season 6, Red Dwarf XI, Hannibal: Season 1, Hannibal: Season 2, Hannibal: Season 3, Preacher: Season One, Degrassi Junior High: The Complete Series, Degrassi High: The Complete Series, Game Of Thrones: Season 5, and Game of Thrones: Season 6.
Doctor Who "The Return Of Doctor Mysterio"
You know, Stephen Moffat gets a LOT of cr*p flung at him for not understanding what makes Doctor Who great, but even if some of those complaints have merit, I can say this for him: he understands what makes SUPERHEROES great. Better than any current superhero creator, be it the writer of a comic book, movie, TV show, or cartoon. None of them understands that superheroes should be like this in their default position. Gritty, adult-oriented melodramas should be the exception, not the rule, and not the aspiration of every hack writer and director. Maybe comic book fans will disagree with me. I don't care. Most superhero projects suck, and the ones that don't (like the Arrowverse) are things I only enjoy due to stuff that has nothing to do with the superheroics. The Marvel Cinematic Universe gets SOME of this on some level, but I've been unhappy at the state of the continuity since Age Of Ultron. I think if Doctor Who IS currently in shabby shape, the MCU is probably ten times worse off.
But yeah, it's dumb, it's funny, it's cool, it's exciting, and it has a sense of humor about itself. And none of the good guys wind up dead by the end. Is me being able to enjoy myself too much to ask?
Is the bald guy gonna be a Companion in the new season? I'd like that.
I absolutely love the "Mr. Whiffle feels pain" thing. As mind games go, it doesn't suck. Even if it seems crazy, you still subconsciously cringe at her squeezing the doll. You can't help it. She acts like she's serious when she says it feels pain, so on some level you want to prevent that. I love that she pegged the fact that the Doctor is NOT part of an organization because he never gets spoken to like that. That line actually doesn't fit. MANY people shellack the Doctor and put him in his place during his adventures. That's practically the relaunch's Companion's selling point.
Peter Capaldi has not exactly been a disappointment as Twelve, but the fact that we had three of the best Doctors ever in a row (Christopher Eccelston, David Tennant, Matt Smith) means that when we get a "normal" averagey Doctor, we notice it more than we otherwise would have. Peter Davison was great, and probably would have been remembered much more fondly than he was, if he didn't come off our last Doctor hot streak of Patrick Troughton, John Pertwee, and Tom Baker. Instead, Five, one of the pleasantest and enjoyable Doctors of the original series, is tied that that portion of the canon's eventual decline. I imagine the same thing is gonna happen to Capaldi. Unless the producers can somehow pull out another miracle and make sure the NEXT Doctor is up to David Tennant / Tom Baker standards, Capaldi's role in the Whoniverse might be to herald it's endgame. And frankly, I don't expect another Tennant level Doctor for another few incarnations at least. Doctors as amazing as Eccelston, Tennant, and Smith are rare enough. But the franchise caught lightning in a bottle three times in a row. I don't expect to get another Doctor that great for awhile.
But if we do, and the franchise picks up again, Capaldi will probably be looked back on more favorably. Twelve no longer sucks (and he most certainly did in season eight) and I'm curious to see where they are headed with him. He and Clara were kind of a bad fit for each other (there was a reason she crushed it with Eleven) and I hope the new Companion does better. We'll see. ****1/2.
Justice League Action "Shazam Slam!"
A kid-friendly, TV-Y7, 2-D animated, DC cartoon with Kevin Conroy as Batman! Yay! This is everything I wish the Batman Unlimited movies were but aren't. Yeah, it has some bad and hokey dialogue in places. But it's mostly neat.
It's about as serious as Young Justice and Green Lantern TAS, but as fun as Batman: The Brave And The Bold. There is no part of this show that tries to make you ashamed of loving superheroes.
I can't believe this show beat Justice League Dark to the punch to give us the first animated version of Constantine. I love that they pretty much gutted that upcoming movie's biggest selling point. That being said, this version of Constantine sucks, and with Matt Ryan, JLD's won't. The show was crazy to give him that accent accentuating curse in his first appearance. Hopefully if and when he returns again he'll talk normally.
How is the voice talent? Conroy could do this in his sleep, and it's good to hear Sean Astin and Khary Payton return for Shazam and Cyborg respectively. Mark Hamill is also an excellent choice for Swamp Thing. I don't know much about his character, but I know I like his voice. Diedrich Bader also makes a decent Booster Gold, but I think he would have been a far better Guy Gardner as seen on GLTAS and the Lego DC Comics Super Heroes movies. Miscasts? Dana Snyder is a poor Plastic Man. The guy's VO career has taken off in the past year or so, and I'm betting he was cast because he's an affordable get. But sounds entirely too fat and mopey for a guy like Plas. He's a good Penguin in Batman Unlimited. But I'm thinking they just should have stuck with Tom Kenny. Conroy and Payton prove it's sometimes best to simply stick with what works.
"Wizards don't lose things, they misplace them," is a total Gandalf line.
I pretty much love Batman's reaction to everybody switching costumes, powers, and even genders. Conroy said "Good luck with that," in the tone of voice that says somebody who has been doing for 24 years knows a lame and ridiculous idea when he hears it. Which is good because it tells me Batman is one of the few characters they are going to use to keep up the integrity of the DCAU. I also like Martian Manhunter asking Batman if what he said was funny and Batman says without pretense, "I'm the wrong one to ask." Good stuff.
I like that the Batman imposter did NOT suck at his job. He gets found out pretty easily because he smiles and gets whooped by Booster Gold, but the truth is, he seemed competent for a villain in that position compared to every other time the trope is used in cartoons. He explanations and walkbacks have certain believability to them, and he manages to make his actions have plausible deniability by merely pretending he misspoke, rather than didn't know something. That was actually a bit refreshing.
The timeslot is the thing that is going to kill this show. 7:30 on Saturdays mornings? It's like CN WANTS its DC action toons canceled. I'll enjoy it while it lasts though. ****1/2.
DC Super Hero Girls "Roomies Return: Frost's Bite"
I was not aware Killer Frost needed heat to recharge her powers. That is a weird and super interesting weakness. ***1/2.
DC Super Hero Girls "Odd Couple"
I feel really annoyed at the idea that Harley is giving lessons in comedy to Shiva. Because this version of Harley isn't the least bit funny. *.
The Powerpuff Girls "People Pleaser"
Mostly boring, but I liked the moment where Buttercup starts talking about the science of the egg drop, and when Blossom asks what she just said she says, "This is your fault!" That was a good joke. **.
Ultimate Spider-Man Vs. The Sinister 6 "The Moon Knight Before Christmas"
Moon Knight is a really spiffy character. I like that he's the kind of guy who would rather take the punch than waste time on blocking it. There is a reason Spidey was impressed at that idea.
I love the idea of reforming Mysterio but I don't really think the idea of him having Christmas dinner with Spidey and Moon Knight holds up. He's still a criminal and belongs in jail, even if his heart has reformed.
I also couldn't quite understand why the Moon gave Moon Knight a mission to stop Mysterious in the first place. It seems kind of small potatoes to anything else the moon could have asked him to do.
I really liked this. ****1/2.
Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy "Jingle Bell Rock"
Cute. I like that they remembered to have the idea of a Christmas tree seem extra monstrous to Groot and Rocket. Good episode. ****.
Marvel Shorts "Bait 'N' Switch"
A Guardians of the Galaxy short using the Funko Pop! designs. ***.
Marvel Shorts "Chimichangas"
Cute place to see a TV-Y7 rated Deadpool. ****.
The Lion Guard "The Trail To Udugu"
I'm surprised I didn't like this. Simba leading the Lion Guard should be a juicy idea. Instead it was boring and predictable. Bummer. *.
Girl Meets World "World Meets Girl"
I did not like this documentary about the show, but I have three things I would like to discuss. Two of them are bad, and one of them is good.
The first thing is bad. I always have felt that Hollywood child actors live very unhealthy lives, and will probably not be able to become well-adjusted adults because of that. Some former Disney Channel child stars have confirmed this in interviews. I kind of feel like the happy scenario the doc gave us was total b.s.. It did not change my mind at all. If it were up to me, actors in Hollywood would all be at least 18 years old. I know that would wreck most of television, but a bunch of suicides by depressed people in their 20's sort of makes me think any solutions we think of NEED to be that desperate.
Second thing is good: I never realized how many running jokes throughout the episodes the show has done over the years. Partly because I'm not obsessed enough about the show to watch any episode a second time, and partly because I don't pay as much attention to it as I do most of my other TV shows. But I think it is really cool and admirable that the show actually has a consistent and well-thought out continuity. And I didn't realize that until I saw this.
The third thing is bad. I absolutely hated the real-life bay window conversations. They felt indecent to me. As if I was intruding on something I shouldn't be watching. I know in the age of reality television baring your souls on camera to strangers is now considered normal by young people, but that's one of the reasons I don't watch reality TV (or hardcore porn for that matter). I think there are some intimate things I am not comfortable watching people do with each other. And that's always been true for me.
I didn't like this. *.
Sleepy Hollow "Columbia"
Calling it: Lost cause. Last season kept getting progressively worse and worse, and made so many errors that Nicole Beharie left the show in embarrassment. So the show gets new showrunners and a total retooling for that fumble. Bad call.
The new showrunners suck. They do not get what made this show appealing in the first place. Let's talk about the couple of good things.
Jeremy Davies as the bad guy. Davies doesn't usually play villains, but he also doesn't usually play attractive, handsome, leading man types. A beardless Davies tells me this is going to be unlike any recent role of his I've seen.
The second good thing is I REALLY hope the next Witness is NOT the new female lead, but her 10 year daughter. I don't think the series will be gutsy enough to do it, but it is the sole idea that could save the show. Because that sets up an immediate conflict between Crane and the new lead. Because that FBI agent will NOT want her daughter involved in all of this craziness, especially considering some of the dire and sinister sounding prophecies surrounding the Witnesses. That could be interesting.
I also like that they got rid of last year's entire horrible cast except for Crane and Jenny, who were the only good cast members besides Abbie herself. But the series cannot simply do something that smart and declare victory. They wind up loading the cast with new characters AGAIN, which is precisely why seasons two and three sucked so much. The fewer characters involved in the show, the better. And the new showrunners do not get that.
The second horrible thing was the idea that Lincoln was killed by a demon. No, no, no. That's wrong. That's not what this show is or was. In the previous seasons, the demon stuff happened sort off outside of the historical stuff, and was sort of a side hobby of the Founding Fathers. Part of the appeal is that the show took real history and sort of added stuff to it that you couldn't really PROVE didn't happen. It's not like records during that era were perfect. Part of why the show's first season was fun was because if you shut off your brain, you could imagine something like that being plausible.
The Lincoln assassin being a demon betrays that very premise. Because Lincoln was NOT killed by a demon. That is an incontrovertible fact. Instead of inserting the demonic and Biblical stuff around the edges of history, the stuff is simply rewriting history and putting it into it, and saying something like this, which is very obviously and completely untrue. This is not a spotty record deal where it is up for debate. Lincoln was shot. End of story.
The third bad thing isn't even the show's fault. It picked a REALLY crappy year to relocate to Washington DC. Frankly, I think Trump ALWAYS meant this season would lose a great deal of its appeal, even if it was set in Sleepy Hollow. But setting it in DC ruins everything. I mean, I can no longer believe in Crane's ideals about America while Trump sits in the White House. Even if the show took a four or eight year hiatus and returned once our country wasn't in such pain and turmoil, I still wouldn't believe the series' central premise anymore, that America is a good and decent place worth fighting for. It no longer is. And I frankly don't think it ever will be again.
Donald Trump ruined America, and he frankly is probably going to ruin a bunch of formerly enjoyable TV shows. Sleepy Hollow is now beyond redemption, partly due to showrunners clueless about the premise's appeal, and partly because the real world is a far more cynical and disturbing place that it would be for me to enjoy a show about American History. We are living through the ugliest part of it we've ever lived through, and Sleepy Hollow no longer speaks to the hopeful American inside me. Because that person no longer exists.
RIP Sleepy Hollow. 0.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "The Fugitive, Parts 1 and 2"
What the frak kind of ending was that? Jeez.
I liked everything until then. I like the return of the Pontiac Bandit, and I like that he and Jake are really friends. I also loved how in love Holt was with Gertie ("You stole this!" "I really didn't. It's not a nice car,") and I liked that he liked the new name (Sexorella).
I'm also excited Jake is reading Harry Potter and laughed that the towel refused to catch fire ("It never fully dries!").
I liked The Fugitive riff and how Holt's "I don't care" was a mixture of confused and genuine. He really didn't care.
Pretty good but I'm knocking a star and a half off for the ending. ***1/2.
American Dad! "Ninety North, Zero West"
Santa kind of wants to know what happened to the hard drive, but he kind of doesn't because he thinks the answer will probably frustrate him. Classic American Dad moment.
The Christmas specials are starting to get really good because they have started to keep a loose continuity between them. This episode hints they might even all be canon!
I realized we haven't seen Jack properly since he because Krampus (he was in Blood Crieth Unto Heaven) and I'm wondering if he goes back to normal during the rest of the year. Grampus is a great nickname. Were I him, I'd embrace it.
That stretched out elf was revolting. It was him. It was TOTALLY him.
Grandpa only told the family he was driving a bus in Baltimore so they'd be proud of him. Sums it up.
Loved learning the legend of Gilgamesh with a A.D. twist. We already knew Santa evil, but even I didn't suspect he created Christmas as a front for World Domination and child slavery. I'm not cynical enough, I guess.
If they can do this, they can give us that Golden Turd episode they've been teasing. ****1/2.
Scream Queens "Drain The Swamp"
Better than last year's finale just because the killer was actually beaten and didn't get away with it. But it still wasn't great.
Dean Munsch only drinking scotch and vodka shows that she is a very stupid person. She brushes her teeth with scotch? Idiot. Also moronic was thinking she ate human brains. The African guy on the end of the phone who hung up on hers disgust was righteous. She didn't think much of him, did she?
Bigger bomb than Cloud Atlas. Gonna have to remember that one.
I got serious Trading Places vibes from the end of Hester and Brock. I think that as a Jamie Lee Curtis movie, that's what they were going for. Learning Brock is now a Deadliest Game style murderer is also appropriate.
I loved everybody pointing out the hole that Cassidy could have just pushed Chanel #5 out of the way rather than taking a machete to the chest. Chanel #1 was also right that the logic of it being a moment of redemption for him didn't hold up either.
Wish they did more with Denise. The fact that they didn't makes me think the coma was a waste of time, and that they never should have had her exit the show for an extended period. I hope Neicy Nash is a series regular next year. She should have been this year.
The Hillary Clinton line was so bad because everybody, even the Chanels, had a look of pain and horror when she said it. Which is the correct reaction.
I'm disappointed that Chanel #3 actually has teeth in her v@gina. VERY disappointed that the writers actually think that little of her.
Again, this was better than last year, but I kind of don't think that should be the freaking bar. ***1/2.
Batman: Return Of The Caped Crusaders
This movie had a no-win scenario. And the fact that it was good means it failed on every level. Sigh.
First off. The movie tried VERY hard to be authentic to the original series. However, in order to do that, the movie would have had to have been terrible. The fact that the show was terrible was a part of its charm. It is very hard to feel authentic to the low-budget of the 1960's with computer generated effects and plots (such as space travel) that would have been too expensive to do on the original series. The worst thing is that the movie still actually TRIED to be authentic. Which makes it all the more noticeable that they failed.
It was really no-win for them. If they made it as bad as the original series, I'd also hate it. Simply because the original series was not good enough for modern standards. This movie was always going to feel off.
Seeing Bruce and Dick transform into Batman and Robin as they slide down the Batpoles seems to me to be the most unnecessary revelation ever. Again, the budget actually hurt things here.
Adam West was predictably great, but unfortunately Julie Newmar and Burt Ward now sound far too old for their parts. But I understand they are actually the best people for the roles anyways. They just ARE Catwoman and Robin and they always will be, no matter what they sound like.
I had the feeling they couldn't get the likeness licenses for some of the characters. I actually like this Joker's character design MUCH better than Caesar Romero's horrible painted-over moustache, particularly since even without it, they still remembered to make the Joker's lips seem painted on and give him flesh colored wrists. The Penguin is much heavier here than Burgess Meredith actually was too. And I really wish they had found a way to not have Commissioner Gordon have a moustache like in the comics. And I wish Alfred had glasses. But I accepted everything else.
Here's another way this was unlike the old show: the old show was scary. Don't laugh. The camera angles and Riddler laughing were pretty much the kiddie version of A Clockwork Orange or Twin Peaks as far as freaky imagery is concerned. The Prisoner is another show from the 60's whose visuals freak me out. And this movie had ZERO freaky visuals. It can't be helped in a cartoon, but it's another thing that makes it inauthentic.
Does Aunt Harriet know? Here's the thing: it doesn't really matter, does it? These particular sets of movies cannot go on forever considering the ages of the surviving stars, and the way the original series was SUCH a stickler about who knew what secret identities is completely overthinking the scenario. If Aunt Harriet knows, nothing actually changes. Which is why most modern superhero projects have a lot of people in on the secret.
Fishing is a perfect way to take off the pressure of being a millionaire playboy and his ward. And how great is it that Aunt Harriet is Miss Yvonne?
I love that a school truancy epidemic is worth a front page headline. I also like that when Batman replaces the Mayor he has a "Mayor Batman" plaque at the ready. And since he's replacing all authority figures, that means the baker is out of luck. At least, that's what I think that joke means.
I love that Robin has a closet-full of identical Robin costumes on skid row.
The crosswalk joke was classic Batman '66, along with Adam West waving to the crowd as he crossed.
I also loved Batman explaining Occam's Razor to the kids in the audience, then doing what he always did on the original series: utterly ignore it. It was kind of fun to always ridicule Batman for not knowing Occam's Razor for Riddler's puzzles back on the old show. But the fact that he DOES know, and just simply doesn't understand what it means, somehow makes Batman funnier and lamer at the same time.
I love that when Batman fires Alfred, he has him hand over his feather-duster as if it is a badge. I'm not sure the logic of Alfred heading to skid row holds up. He's an excellent butler and that's a marketable skill. It's not like there wouldn't be other rich guys lining up to snag him.
The portrait of a pirate in Wayne Manor looks almost exactly like the pirate as the beginning of SpongeBob SquarePants.
Funniest punch sound effect: Sprang! I also love that the punch effects got more violent, and even multisyllabic when Batman "went nuts."
Joker fart joke: unacceptable. It was the one thing unlike the original series. But despite what you may have thought, the original series had a LOT of sexual innuendo and this was about that level. With all of the gay pop-culture jokes about Batman and Robin over the years maybe the jokes are easier for the general audience to spot now. But that doesn't make the jokes on the old show any less obvious either.
Love all of the classic original Z-list rogues exclusive to the series in the final battle. And they didn't have to pay a bunch of washed up movie stars to do it.
For the record, King Tut did SURPRISINGLY well during the final fight. Much more-so than you'd expect. He took out three or four Batmans by himself. It doesn't matter if he was ultimately knocked out by the end. He can hold his head high for that.
No Narrator at the beginning was the biggest thing that felt off from the series. I immediately noticed it. I was able to get into the story anyways, but Batman '66 ain't Batman '66 without the Narrator talking about what a wonderful, fair city Gotham is.
I love that the movie remembered to have Catwoman mostly stay out of the fights. Part of why Julie Newmar's Catwoman was so great is because she always looked bored during the fights. They remembered that endearing quirk. Catwoman talking about Batman's "masculine superiority" tells me the film is using the casual sexism of the old show to its full ironic advantage.
How do you know Adam West's Batman is evil? He does the disappearing on Commissioner Gordon in the middle of a sentence thing all of the rest of his incarnations do. It was a hilarious joke, because it is SO Batman, but when you see Adam West's Batman do it, it is SO unlike him, and it's REALLY jarring to realize that West's Batman is so unlike his other versions, that he cannot actually pull off Batman's signature move without everybody feeling weird about it.
As much smack as I'm talking about this movie, hearing Adam West say "This is an operating room. And I'm the surgeon," made every penny I spent on this Blu-Ray worth it. Even if the project failed what it was TRYING to do, it is at least worthwhile in its own right due to that line. "You want to get nuts? Let's get nuts!" was also great.
When Batman and Robin were climbing up the side of a building, they should have had a celebrity from the 60's pop out of one of the windows.
Robin saying that he has been focusing two much on his biceps during that moment shows that those two are so gay and always have been. That's not a homophobic slam on my part, that's exactly the entire subtext of that particular joke. The Ambiguously Gay Duo from SNL didn't pop up out of nowhere.
Batman using the acid from the lemon tart to dissolve his ropes proves once again the science on the old show was cr*p. Also hilarious was the idea that an anti-radiation spray would protect Catwoman and Robin from falling into a nuclear reactor.
Catwoman waving her fanny at the camera as she sexy danced over the end credits was hysterical, as was Batman juggling giant bombs as he did in the only memorable scene from the movie. I was rolling when he started dribbling a bomb like a basketball.
Speaking of the movie, the three Catwomans joke made no Narrative sense whatsoever. I understand it was exclusively for the fans, but I kind of think the best Easter Eggs actually find a way to fit into the world of the franchise itself. That did not. It was inexplicable.
I like that Catwoman is so dumb she actually thinks there is a way Batman would ever find the idea of killing Robin acceptable. It's funny and endearing. As was Batman completely calling her a vile, depraved, amoral villain before saying she was capable of redemption. "Gee, thanks, Batman." I was rolling again. I also think Batman saying that Catwoman had a "pungent allure" is not the sexy compliment he thinks it is.
I love that when Batman parks the Batmobile he spins out and skids into the parking space like the Blues Brothers. Funny joke.
I like that the Penguin is getting away on an ostrich during the opening Main Title sequence. Another great music montage gag was when Batman and Robin look at each other through Bat-binoculars, they jump back in shock like a silent comedy duo. The writers knew exactly what comedy buttons to push in this movie. I won't deny that.
I like that as Batman and Robin are having a serious conversation about the folly of evil while scaling the space station, you can see the villains getting into a fight through the window.
Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara feeling "deep shame" for watching television "on the job" was very much a Batman '66 joke. I'd almost consider the "Bat Analyzer has as much knowledge as two sets of encyclopedias" a Batman '66 joke, if the writers of the original series could have jumped forward in time and realized how much their version of the Bat-Computer actually sucked. It's the best Batman '66 joke Batman '66 never did, or was ever self-aware enough to do.
Robin is SO full of cliches that he says "Holy Einstein! That's a lot of brainpower!" upon hearing that. Equally dorky was him saying that a language is not truly dead if it lives in your heart. Does this cretin hear himself?
Speaking of which, Batman's "I simply crave attention" is not an Adam West Batman joke. It's a MAYOR Adam West joke. Just so we're clear.
I love the way Alfred pronounces "Mr. Batman" at the end: He puts the enunciation on the first syllable so it sounds completely ridiculous.
I love the moment where Catwoman tells Robin to keep his hands to himself while she's unconscious in the Catmobile. I love that moment because it never occurred to him before that. And now that she put the idea into his head, it refuses to leave. This is going to keep that kid up at night. I guarantee it.
When Dick wonders how he'll get home and then sticks his thumb out I also thought "That's a Batman '66 joke. Full stop.". Batman: The Brave And The Bold would have done it too.
I really like the moment of Riddler trying to relate to Joker as someone who sees crime as an art form. And bless him, this version of Riddler is completely overthinking Batman '66's Joker. Caesar Romero was easily, the stupidest, least funny Joker ever put to film. There is no part of him with complex or cool motivations, which is why Romero is by far the worst Joker of all time. So of course, this Joker refuses to bond over that idea. Because Batman '66's Joker is freaking dumb.
Wally Wingert was great as the Riddler, and captured Frank Gorshin better than the other soundalikes did their counterparts. Probably because he knows how to both do the bizarre laugh properly, and monologue like a lunatic which is why Riddler was the best villain on the TV show.
Plothole: Okay, so Alfred knows that if Bruce fires him, he's mind-controlled, and that he needs to make a serum to Batman's precise specifications to snap him out of it. Except, Bruce is actually in on that plan. Wouldn't he simply take an anti-anti-antidote neutralizer? I'm overthinking this, aren't I?
If this movie was worse, I would have liked it more. And if it was worse, it would be unacceptable by modern standards. Seriously. They could not win. ***1/2.
Those Dastardly Desperados:
Am I crazy? Is Julie Newmar still sexy? She's got to be 80, but carries herself as if she's sexy, so she weirdly is. Is this Helen Mirren's future? I hope so. I love that '66 Batman not only tries to rehabilitate Catwoman but the rest of the villains too. That's endearing. This also pointed out that West's Batman isn't afraid of the Penguin and looks upon him with bemusement. I don't think the other versions of Batman are exactly afraid of Penguin either, but they each at least tend to see him as a legit threat. Burgess Meredith's Penguin was not as great as he thought he was. ****.
A Classic Cadre Of Voices:
I love that Julie Newmar wears lace cat ears during the interviews and in the recording booth. I repeat: sexy. William Salyers (Penguin) had an interesting opinion. Everyone had so much fun they shouldn't have bothered to pay them! Shhh! Don't tell them that! ****.
Trailers:
Suicide Sqaud: The trailer is more fun than the movie. ****1/2.
Wonder Woman: This is going to be great. All it needs it Gal Gadot and the Wonder Woman theme they created in Batman v Superman and it's awesome. Their job is done. When I heard the theme at the end of the trailer I was squeeing. This is going to be the first good movie in this continuity. *****.
The Lego Batman Movie: I probably won't see this in the theater but it's a must-buy on Blu-Ray. Batman making bored mouth-pops as his microwaves lobster is super funny. ****.
Wonder Woman Animated Film: This trailer describes this below average direct to video cartoon as a Masterpiece. I am about as offended to see that term attached to this piece of crud as I was when Disney pulled the same con on The Black Cauldron videocassettes back in the day. The trailer is good though. I'll give them that. ***1/2.
Upcoming reviews include Doctor Who: Series 9, The X-Files: Season 10, Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), Captain America: Civil War (Blu-Ray), Daredevil: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Deadpool, X-Men: Apocalypse (Blu-Ray), The Lion Guard: Return Of The Roar (DVD), Zootopia, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), The Good Dinosaur (Blu-Ray), Finding Dory (Blu-Ray), Once Upon A Time: Season 5, The BFG, Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Blu-Ray), Star Wars Rebels: Season 2, Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales, Lego Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures: Season One, Jim Henson's Turkey Hollow (DVD), Justice League Vs. Teen Titans, Batman: The Killing Joke, Teen Titans Go!: Get In Pig Out, Suicide Squad (Blu-Ray), The Flash: Season 2, Arrow: Season 4, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow: Season 1, Supergirl: Season 1, Constantine: The Complete Series, Gotham: Season 2, iZombie: Season 1, iZombie: Season 2, Lucifer: Season 1, Be Cool Scooby Doo!: Spooky Kooky Fun!, Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Prod.: Hare-Raising Tales, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Star Trek Beyond (Blu-Ray), Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Beyond The Known Universe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Earth's Last Stand, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Half-Shell Heroes: Blast To The Past, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Powr Rangers: Megaforce: The Complete Season, Power Rangers: Super Megaforce: The Complete Season, Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Season 1, Heroes Reborn: The Complete Series, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, The Legend Of Korra: The Complete Series, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Haven: The Final Season, Under The Dome: Season 3, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Sleepy Hollow: Season 3, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 3, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Shaun The Sheep: The Farmer's Llamas, 12 Monkeys: Season 1, 12 Monkeys: Season 2, Grimm: Season 4, Grimm: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 6, The Peanuts Movie, Peanuts By Schulz: Snoopy Tales, Bob's Burgers: Season 5, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay: Part 2, Ghostbusters: Answer: The Call, Community: Season 6, Red Dwarf XI, Hannibal: Season 1, Hannibal: Season 2, Hannibal: Season 3, Preacher: Season One, Degrassi Junior High: The Complete Series, Degrassi High: The Complete Series, Game Of Thrones: Season 5, and Game of Thrones: Season 6.
Doctor Who "The Return Of Doctor Mysterio"
You know, Stephen Moffat gets a LOT of cr*p flung at him for not understanding what makes Doctor Who great, but even if some of those complaints have merit, I can say this for him: he understands what makes SUPERHEROES great. Better than any current superhero creator, be it the writer of a comic book, movie, TV show, or cartoon. None of them understands that superheroes should be like this in their default position. Gritty, adult-oriented melodramas should be the exception, not the rule, and not the aspiration of every hack writer and director. Maybe comic book fans will disagree with me. I don't care. Most superhero projects suck, and the ones that don't (like the Arrowverse) are things I only enjoy due to stuff that has nothing to do with the superheroics. The Marvel Cinematic Universe gets SOME of this on some level, but I've been unhappy at the state of the continuity since Age Of Ultron. I think if Doctor Who IS currently in shabby shape, the MCU is probably ten times worse off.
But yeah, it's dumb, it's funny, it's cool, it's exciting, and it has a sense of humor about itself. And none of the good guys wind up dead by the end. Is me being able to enjoy myself too much to ask?
Is the bald guy gonna be a Companion in the new season? I'd like that.
I absolutely love the "Mr. Whiffle feels pain" thing. As mind games go, it doesn't suck. Even if it seems crazy, you still subconsciously cringe at her squeezing the doll. You can't help it. She acts like she's serious when she says it feels pain, so on some level you want to prevent that. I love that she pegged the fact that the Doctor is NOT part of an organization because he never gets spoken to like that. That line actually doesn't fit. MANY people shellack the Doctor and put him in his place during his adventures. That's practically the relaunch's Companion's selling point.
Peter Capaldi has not exactly been a disappointment as Twelve, but the fact that we had three of the best Doctors ever in a row (Christopher Eccelston, David Tennant, Matt Smith) means that when we get a "normal" averagey Doctor, we notice it more than we otherwise would have. Peter Davison was great, and probably would have been remembered much more fondly than he was, if he didn't come off our last Doctor hot streak of Patrick Troughton, John Pertwee, and Tom Baker. Instead, Five, one of the pleasantest and enjoyable Doctors of the original series, is tied that that portion of the canon's eventual decline. I imagine the same thing is gonna happen to Capaldi. Unless the producers can somehow pull out another miracle and make sure the NEXT Doctor is up to David Tennant / Tom Baker standards, Capaldi's role in the Whoniverse might be to herald it's endgame. And frankly, I don't expect another Tennant level Doctor for another few incarnations at least. Doctors as amazing as Eccelston, Tennant, and Smith are rare enough. But the franchise caught lightning in a bottle three times in a row. I don't expect to get another Doctor that great for awhile.
But if we do, and the franchise picks up again, Capaldi will probably be looked back on more favorably. Twelve no longer sucks (and he most certainly did in season eight) and I'm curious to see where they are headed with him. He and Clara were kind of a bad fit for each other (there was a reason she crushed it with Eleven) and I hope the new Companion does better. We'll see. ****1/2.
Justice League Action "Shazam Slam!"
A kid-friendly, TV-Y7, 2-D animated, DC cartoon with Kevin Conroy as Batman! Yay! This is everything I wish the Batman Unlimited movies were but aren't. Yeah, it has some bad and hokey dialogue in places. But it's mostly neat.
It's about as serious as Young Justice and Green Lantern TAS, but as fun as Batman: The Brave And The Bold. There is no part of this show that tries to make you ashamed of loving superheroes.
I can't believe this show beat Justice League Dark to the punch to give us the first animated version of Constantine. I love that they pretty much gutted that upcoming movie's biggest selling point. That being said, this version of Constantine sucks, and with Matt Ryan, JLD's won't. The show was crazy to give him that accent accentuating curse in his first appearance. Hopefully if and when he returns again he'll talk normally.
How is the voice talent? Conroy could do this in his sleep, and it's good to hear Sean Astin and Khary Payton return for Shazam and Cyborg respectively. Mark Hamill is also an excellent choice for Swamp Thing. I don't know much about his character, but I know I like his voice. Diedrich Bader also makes a decent Booster Gold, but I think he would have been a far better Guy Gardner as seen on GLTAS and the Lego DC Comics Super Heroes movies. Miscasts? Dana Snyder is a poor Plastic Man. The guy's VO career has taken off in the past year or so, and I'm betting he was cast because he's an affordable get. But sounds entirely too fat and mopey for a guy like Plas. He's a good Penguin in Batman Unlimited. But I'm thinking they just should have stuck with Tom Kenny. Conroy and Payton prove it's sometimes best to simply stick with what works.
"Wizards don't lose things, they misplace them," is a total Gandalf line.
I pretty much love Batman's reaction to everybody switching costumes, powers, and even genders. Conroy said "Good luck with that," in the tone of voice that says somebody who has been doing for 24 years knows a lame and ridiculous idea when he hears it. Which is good because it tells me Batman is one of the few characters they are going to use to keep up the integrity of the DCAU. I also like Martian Manhunter asking Batman if what he said was funny and Batman says without pretense, "I'm the wrong one to ask." Good stuff.
I like that the Batman imposter did NOT suck at his job. He gets found out pretty easily because he smiles and gets whooped by Booster Gold, but the truth is, he seemed competent for a villain in that position compared to every other time the trope is used in cartoons. He explanations and walkbacks have certain believability to them, and he manages to make his actions have plausible deniability by merely pretending he misspoke, rather than didn't know something. That was actually a bit refreshing.
The timeslot is the thing that is going to kill this show. 7:30 on Saturdays mornings? It's like CN WANTS its DC action toons canceled. I'll enjoy it while it lasts though. ****1/2.
DC Super Hero Girls "Roomies Return: Frost's Bite"
I was not aware Killer Frost needed heat to recharge her powers. That is a weird and super interesting weakness. ***1/2.
DC Super Hero Girls "Odd Couple"
I feel really annoyed at the idea that Harley is giving lessons in comedy to Shiva. Because this version of Harley isn't the least bit funny. *.
The Powerpuff Girls "People Pleaser"
Mostly boring, but I liked the moment where Buttercup starts talking about the science of the egg drop, and when Blossom asks what she just said she says, "This is your fault!" That was a good joke. **.
Ultimate Spider-Man Vs. The Sinister 6 "The Moon Knight Before Christmas"
Moon Knight is a really spiffy character. I like that he's the kind of guy who would rather take the punch than waste time on blocking it. There is a reason Spidey was impressed at that idea.
I love the idea of reforming Mysterio but I don't really think the idea of him having Christmas dinner with Spidey and Moon Knight holds up. He's still a criminal and belongs in jail, even if his heart has reformed.
I also couldn't quite understand why the Moon gave Moon Knight a mission to stop Mysterious in the first place. It seems kind of small potatoes to anything else the moon could have asked him to do.
I really liked this. ****1/2.
Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy "Jingle Bell Rock"
Cute. I like that they remembered to have the idea of a Christmas tree seem extra monstrous to Groot and Rocket. Good episode. ****.
Marvel Shorts "Bait 'N' Switch"
A Guardians of the Galaxy short using the Funko Pop! designs. ***.
Marvel Shorts "Chimichangas"
Cute place to see a TV-Y7 rated Deadpool. ****.
The Lion Guard "The Trail To Udugu"
I'm surprised I didn't like this. Simba leading the Lion Guard should be a juicy idea. Instead it was boring and predictable. Bummer. *.
Girl Meets World "World Meets Girl"
I did not like this documentary about the show, but I have three things I would like to discuss. Two of them are bad, and one of them is good.
The first thing is bad. I always have felt that Hollywood child actors live very unhealthy lives, and will probably not be able to become well-adjusted adults because of that. Some former Disney Channel child stars have confirmed this in interviews. I kind of feel like the happy scenario the doc gave us was total b.s.. It did not change my mind at all. If it were up to me, actors in Hollywood would all be at least 18 years old. I know that would wreck most of television, but a bunch of suicides by depressed people in their 20's sort of makes me think any solutions we think of NEED to be that desperate.
Second thing is good: I never realized how many running jokes throughout the episodes the show has done over the years. Partly because I'm not obsessed enough about the show to watch any episode a second time, and partly because I don't pay as much attention to it as I do most of my other TV shows. But I think it is really cool and admirable that the show actually has a consistent and well-thought out continuity. And I didn't realize that until I saw this.
The third thing is bad. I absolutely hated the real-life bay window conversations. They felt indecent to me. As if I was intruding on something I shouldn't be watching. I know in the age of reality television baring your souls on camera to strangers is now considered normal by young people, but that's one of the reasons I don't watch reality TV (or hardcore porn for that matter). I think there are some intimate things I am not comfortable watching people do with each other. And that's always been true for me.
I didn't like this. *.
Sleepy Hollow "Columbia"
Calling it: Lost cause. Last season kept getting progressively worse and worse, and made so many errors that Nicole Beharie left the show in embarrassment. So the show gets new showrunners and a total retooling for that fumble. Bad call.
The new showrunners suck. They do not get what made this show appealing in the first place. Let's talk about the couple of good things.
Jeremy Davies as the bad guy. Davies doesn't usually play villains, but he also doesn't usually play attractive, handsome, leading man types. A beardless Davies tells me this is going to be unlike any recent role of his I've seen.
The second good thing is I REALLY hope the next Witness is NOT the new female lead, but her 10 year daughter. I don't think the series will be gutsy enough to do it, but it is the sole idea that could save the show. Because that sets up an immediate conflict between Crane and the new lead. Because that FBI agent will NOT want her daughter involved in all of this craziness, especially considering some of the dire and sinister sounding prophecies surrounding the Witnesses. That could be interesting.
I also like that they got rid of last year's entire horrible cast except for Crane and Jenny, who were the only good cast members besides Abbie herself. But the series cannot simply do something that smart and declare victory. They wind up loading the cast with new characters AGAIN, which is precisely why seasons two and three sucked so much. The fewer characters involved in the show, the better. And the new showrunners do not get that.
The second horrible thing was the idea that Lincoln was killed by a demon. No, no, no. That's wrong. That's not what this show is or was. In the previous seasons, the demon stuff happened sort off outside of the historical stuff, and was sort of a side hobby of the Founding Fathers. Part of the appeal is that the show took real history and sort of added stuff to it that you couldn't really PROVE didn't happen. It's not like records during that era were perfect. Part of why the show's first season was fun was because if you shut off your brain, you could imagine something like that being plausible.
The Lincoln assassin being a demon betrays that very premise. Because Lincoln was NOT killed by a demon. That is an incontrovertible fact. Instead of inserting the demonic and Biblical stuff around the edges of history, the stuff is simply rewriting history and putting it into it, and saying something like this, which is very obviously and completely untrue. This is not a spotty record deal where it is up for debate. Lincoln was shot. End of story.
The third bad thing isn't even the show's fault. It picked a REALLY crappy year to relocate to Washington DC. Frankly, I think Trump ALWAYS meant this season would lose a great deal of its appeal, even if it was set in Sleepy Hollow. But setting it in DC ruins everything. I mean, I can no longer believe in Crane's ideals about America while Trump sits in the White House. Even if the show took a four or eight year hiatus and returned once our country wasn't in such pain and turmoil, I still wouldn't believe the series' central premise anymore, that America is a good and decent place worth fighting for. It no longer is. And I frankly don't think it ever will be again.
Donald Trump ruined America, and he frankly is probably going to ruin a bunch of formerly enjoyable TV shows. Sleepy Hollow is now beyond redemption, partly due to showrunners clueless about the premise's appeal, and partly because the real world is a far more cynical and disturbing place that it would be for me to enjoy a show about American History. We are living through the ugliest part of it we've ever lived through, and Sleepy Hollow no longer speaks to the hopeful American inside me. Because that person no longer exists.
RIP Sleepy Hollow. 0.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "The Fugitive, Parts 1 and 2"
What the frak kind of ending was that? Jeez.
I liked everything until then. I like the return of the Pontiac Bandit, and I like that he and Jake are really friends. I also loved how in love Holt was with Gertie ("You stole this!" "I really didn't. It's not a nice car,") and I liked that he liked the new name (Sexorella).
I'm also excited Jake is reading Harry Potter and laughed that the towel refused to catch fire ("It never fully dries!").
I liked The Fugitive riff and how Holt's "I don't care" was a mixture of confused and genuine. He really didn't care.
Pretty good but I'm knocking a star and a half off for the ending. ***1/2.
American Dad! "Ninety North, Zero West"
Santa kind of wants to know what happened to the hard drive, but he kind of doesn't because he thinks the answer will probably frustrate him. Classic American Dad moment.
The Christmas specials are starting to get really good because they have started to keep a loose continuity between them. This episode hints they might even all be canon!
I realized we haven't seen Jack properly since he because Krampus (he was in Blood Crieth Unto Heaven) and I'm wondering if he goes back to normal during the rest of the year. Grampus is a great nickname. Were I him, I'd embrace it.
That stretched out elf was revolting. It was him. It was TOTALLY him.
Grandpa only told the family he was driving a bus in Baltimore so they'd be proud of him. Sums it up.
Loved learning the legend of Gilgamesh with a A.D. twist. We already knew Santa evil, but even I didn't suspect he created Christmas as a front for World Domination and child slavery. I'm not cynical enough, I guess.
If they can do this, they can give us that Golden Turd episode they've been teasing. ****1/2.
Scream Queens "Drain The Swamp"
Better than last year's finale just because the killer was actually beaten and didn't get away with it. But it still wasn't great.
Dean Munsch only drinking scotch and vodka shows that she is a very stupid person. She brushes her teeth with scotch? Idiot. Also moronic was thinking she ate human brains. The African guy on the end of the phone who hung up on hers disgust was righteous. She didn't think much of him, did she?
Bigger bomb than Cloud Atlas. Gonna have to remember that one.
I got serious Trading Places vibes from the end of Hester and Brock. I think that as a Jamie Lee Curtis movie, that's what they were going for. Learning Brock is now a Deadliest Game style murderer is also appropriate.
I loved everybody pointing out the hole that Cassidy could have just pushed Chanel #5 out of the way rather than taking a machete to the chest. Chanel #1 was also right that the logic of it being a moment of redemption for him didn't hold up either.
Wish they did more with Denise. The fact that they didn't makes me think the coma was a waste of time, and that they never should have had her exit the show for an extended period. I hope Neicy Nash is a series regular next year. She should have been this year.
The Hillary Clinton line was so bad because everybody, even the Chanels, had a look of pain and horror when she said it. Which is the correct reaction.
I'm disappointed that Chanel #3 actually has teeth in her v@gina. VERY disappointed that the writers actually think that little of her.
Again, this was better than last year, but I kind of don't think that should be the freaking bar. ***1/2.
Batman: Return Of The Caped Crusaders
This movie had a no-win scenario. And the fact that it was good means it failed on every level. Sigh.
First off. The movie tried VERY hard to be authentic to the original series. However, in order to do that, the movie would have had to have been terrible. The fact that the show was terrible was a part of its charm. It is very hard to feel authentic to the low-budget of the 1960's with computer generated effects and plots (such as space travel) that would have been too expensive to do on the original series. The worst thing is that the movie still actually TRIED to be authentic. Which makes it all the more noticeable that they failed.
It was really no-win for them. If they made it as bad as the original series, I'd also hate it. Simply because the original series was not good enough for modern standards. This movie was always going to feel off.
Seeing Bruce and Dick transform into Batman and Robin as they slide down the Batpoles seems to me to be the most unnecessary revelation ever. Again, the budget actually hurt things here.
Adam West was predictably great, but unfortunately Julie Newmar and Burt Ward now sound far too old for their parts. But I understand they are actually the best people for the roles anyways. They just ARE Catwoman and Robin and they always will be, no matter what they sound like.
I had the feeling they couldn't get the likeness licenses for some of the characters. I actually like this Joker's character design MUCH better than Caesar Romero's horrible painted-over moustache, particularly since even without it, they still remembered to make the Joker's lips seem painted on and give him flesh colored wrists. The Penguin is much heavier here than Burgess Meredith actually was too. And I really wish they had found a way to not have Commissioner Gordon have a moustache like in the comics. And I wish Alfred had glasses. But I accepted everything else.
Here's another way this was unlike the old show: the old show was scary. Don't laugh. The camera angles and Riddler laughing were pretty much the kiddie version of A Clockwork Orange or Twin Peaks as far as freaky imagery is concerned. The Prisoner is another show from the 60's whose visuals freak me out. And this movie had ZERO freaky visuals. It can't be helped in a cartoon, but it's another thing that makes it inauthentic.
Does Aunt Harriet know? Here's the thing: it doesn't really matter, does it? These particular sets of movies cannot go on forever considering the ages of the surviving stars, and the way the original series was SUCH a stickler about who knew what secret identities is completely overthinking the scenario. If Aunt Harriet knows, nothing actually changes. Which is why most modern superhero projects have a lot of people in on the secret.
Fishing is a perfect way to take off the pressure of being a millionaire playboy and his ward. And how great is it that Aunt Harriet is Miss Yvonne?
I love that a school truancy epidemic is worth a front page headline. I also like that when Batman replaces the Mayor he has a "Mayor Batman" plaque at the ready. And since he's replacing all authority figures, that means the baker is out of luck. At least, that's what I think that joke means.
I love that Robin has a closet-full of identical Robin costumes on skid row.
The crosswalk joke was classic Batman '66, along with Adam West waving to the crowd as he crossed.
I also loved Batman explaining Occam's Razor to the kids in the audience, then doing what he always did on the original series: utterly ignore it. It was kind of fun to always ridicule Batman for not knowing Occam's Razor for Riddler's puzzles back on the old show. But the fact that he DOES know, and just simply doesn't understand what it means, somehow makes Batman funnier and lamer at the same time.
I love that when Batman fires Alfred, he has him hand over his feather-duster as if it is a badge. I'm not sure the logic of Alfred heading to skid row holds up. He's an excellent butler and that's a marketable skill. It's not like there wouldn't be other rich guys lining up to snag him.
The portrait of a pirate in Wayne Manor looks almost exactly like the pirate as the beginning of SpongeBob SquarePants.
Funniest punch sound effect: Sprang! I also love that the punch effects got more violent, and even multisyllabic when Batman "went nuts."
Joker fart joke: unacceptable. It was the one thing unlike the original series. But despite what you may have thought, the original series had a LOT of sexual innuendo and this was about that level. With all of the gay pop-culture jokes about Batman and Robin over the years maybe the jokes are easier for the general audience to spot now. But that doesn't make the jokes on the old show any less obvious either.
Love all of the classic original Z-list rogues exclusive to the series in the final battle. And they didn't have to pay a bunch of washed up movie stars to do it.
For the record, King Tut did SURPRISINGLY well during the final fight. Much more-so than you'd expect. He took out three or four Batmans by himself. It doesn't matter if he was ultimately knocked out by the end. He can hold his head high for that.
No Narrator at the beginning was the biggest thing that felt off from the series. I immediately noticed it. I was able to get into the story anyways, but Batman '66 ain't Batman '66 without the Narrator talking about what a wonderful, fair city Gotham is.
I love that the movie remembered to have Catwoman mostly stay out of the fights. Part of why Julie Newmar's Catwoman was so great is because she always looked bored during the fights. They remembered that endearing quirk. Catwoman talking about Batman's "masculine superiority" tells me the film is using the casual sexism of the old show to its full ironic advantage.
How do you know Adam West's Batman is evil? He does the disappearing on Commissioner Gordon in the middle of a sentence thing all of the rest of his incarnations do. It was a hilarious joke, because it is SO Batman, but when you see Adam West's Batman do it, it is SO unlike him, and it's REALLY jarring to realize that West's Batman is so unlike his other versions, that he cannot actually pull off Batman's signature move without everybody feeling weird about it.
As much smack as I'm talking about this movie, hearing Adam West say "This is an operating room. And I'm the surgeon," made every penny I spent on this Blu-Ray worth it. Even if the project failed what it was TRYING to do, it is at least worthwhile in its own right due to that line. "You want to get nuts? Let's get nuts!" was also great.
When Batman and Robin were climbing up the side of a building, they should have had a celebrity from the 60's pop out of one of the windows.
Robin saying that he has been focusing two much on his biceps during that moment shows that those two are so gay and always have been. That's not a homophobic slam on my part, that's exactly the entire subtext of that particular joke. The Ambiguously Gay Duo from SNL didn't pop up out of nowhere.
Batman using the acid from the lemon tart to dissolve his ropes proves once again the science on the old show was cr*p. Also hilarious was the idea that an anti-radiation spray would protect Catwoman and Robin from falling into a nuclear reactor.
Catwoman waving her fanny at the camera as she sexy danced over the end credits was hysterical, as was Batman juggling giant bombs as he did in the only memorable scene from the movie. I was rolling when he started dribbling a bomb like a basketball.
Speaking of the movie, the three Catwomans joke made no Narrative sense whatsoever. I understand it was exclusively for the fans, but I kind of think the best Easter Eggs actually find a way to fit into the world of the franchise itself. That did not. It was inexplicable.
I like that Catwoman is so dumb she actually thinks there is a way Batman would ever find the idea of killing Robin acceptable. It's funny and endearing. As was Batman completely calling her a vile, depraved, amoral villain before saying she was capable of redemption. "Gee, thanks, Batman." I was rolling again. I also think Batman saying that Catwoman had a "pungent allure" is not the sexy compliment he thinks it is.
I love that when Batman parks the Batmobile he spins out and skids into the parking space like the Blues Brothers. Funny joke.
I like that the Penguin is getting away on an ostrich during the opening Main Title sequence. Another great music montage gag was when Batman and Robin look at each other through Bat-binoculars, they jump back in shock like a silent comedy duo. The writers knew exactly what comedy buttons to push in this movie. I won't deny that.
I like that as Batman and Robin are having a serious conversation about the folly of evil while scaling the space station, you can see the villains getting into a fight through the window.
Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara feeling "deep shame" for watching television "on the job" was very much a Batman '66 joke. I'd almost consider the "Bat Analyzer has as much knowledge as two sets of encyclopedias" a Batman '66 joke, if the writers of the original series could have jumped forward in time and realized how much their version of the Bat-Computer actually sucked. It's the best Batman '66 joke Batman '66 never did, or was ever self-aware enough to do.
Robin is SO full of cliches that he says "Holy Einstein! That's a lot of brainpower!" upon hearing that. Equally dorky was him saying that a language is not truly dead if it lives in your heart. Does this cretin hear himself?
Speaking of which, Batman's "I simply crave attention" is not an Adam West Batman joke. It's a MAYOR Adam West joke. Just so we're clear.
I love the way Alfred pronounces "Mr. Batman" at the end: He puts the enunciation on the first syllable so it sounds completely ridiculous.
I love the moment where Catwoman tells Robin to keep his hands to himself while she's unconscious in the Catmobile. I love that moment because it never occurred to him before that. And now that she put the idea into his head, it refuses to leave. This is going to keep that kid up at night. I guarantee it.
When Dick wonders how he'll get home and then sticks his thumb out I also thought "That's a Batman '66 joke. Full stop.". Batman: The Brave And The Bold would have done it too.
I really like the moment of Riddler trying to relate to Joker as someone who sees crime as an art form. And bless him, this version of Riddler is completely overthinking Batman '66's Joker. Caesar Romero was easily, the stupidest, least funny Joker ever put to film. There is no part of him with complex or cool motivations, which is why Romero is by far the worst Joker of all time. So of course, this Joker refuses to bond over that idea. Because Batman '66's Joker is freaking dumb.
Wally Wingert was great as the Riddler, and captured Frank Gorshin better than the other soundalikes did their counterparts. Probably because he knows how to both do the bizarre laugh properly, and monologue like a lunatic which is why Riddler was the best villain on the TV show.
Plothole: Okay, so Alfred knows that if Bruce fires him, he's mind-controlled, and that he needs to make a serum to Batman's precise specifications to snap him out of it. Except, Bruce is actually in on that plan. Wouldn't he simply take an anti-anti-antidote neutralizer? I'm overthinking this, aren't I?
If this movie was worse, I would have liked it more. And if it was worse, it would be unacceptable by modern standards. Seriously. They could not win. ***1/2.
Those Dastardly Desperados:
Am I crazy? Is Julie Newmar still sexy? She's got to be 80, but carries herself as if she's sexy, so she weirdly is. Is this Helen Mirren's future? I hope so. I love that '66 Batman not only tries to rehabilitate Catwoman but the rest of the villains too. That's endearing. This also pointed out that West's Batman isn't afraid of the Penguin and looks upon him with bemusement. I don't think the other versions of Batman are exactly afraid of Penguin either, but they each at least tend to see him as a legit threat. Burgess Meredith's Penguin was not as great as he thought he was. ****.
A Classic Cadre Of Voices:
I love that Julie Newmar wears lace cat ears during the interviews and in the recording booth. I repeat: sexy. William Salyers (Penguin) had an interesting opinion. Everyone had so much fun they shouldn't have bothered to pay them! Shhh! Don't tell them that! ****.
Trailers:
Suicide Sqaud: The trailer is more fun than the movie. ****1/2.
Wonder Woman: This is going to be great. All it needs it Gal Gadot and the Wonder Woman theme they created in Batman v Superman and it's awesome. Their job is done. When I heard the theme at the end of the trailer I was squeeing. This is going to be the first good movie in this continuity. *****.
The Lego Batman Movie: I probably won't see this in the theater but it's a must-buy on Blu-Ray. Batman making bored mouth-pops as his microwaves lobster is super funny. ****.
Wonder Woman Animated Film: This trailer describes this below average direct to video cartoon as a Masterpiece. I am about as offended to see that term attached to this piece of crud as I was when Disney pulled the same con on The Black Cauldron videocassettes back in the day. The trailer is good though. I'll give them that. ***1/2.